Duck Call Room - Uncle Si Needed 2 Things to Survive Vietnam

Episode Date: August 30, 2022

Uncle Si taps his expertise as a Vietnam vet to fact-check the movie "Forrest Gump" and admits there were two things he couldn't live without in Nam. Godwin debunks the film "Gladiator." John-David is mistaken for a girl, and Martin is mistaken for a scam artist. Plus, have you heard of a kiwi hot dog? Si gets carded in Texas, shows off his extensive knowledge of Rick James facts, and comes up with a solid reason for the U.S. government to listen to the podcast. The boys finally run into a fan question that's waaaaay above their pay grade. And they pray for Nick, a marine vet who's undergone surgery for brain cancer.  - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I need some ice cream. He's a vet. So that makes him okay. Yeah, I wouldn't go with Lieutenant Dan over here. Yeah, that's fine. Hey, that's cute. Y'all match. Look at that.

Ice cream. Two reds. Two reds, two grays. Ice cream, you can't have that no more, old buddy. That's right. That's out. Oh, yeah, I can. Sugar free.

Maybe it. Sugar free. Oh, yeah. Point of that. No offense. It don't taste no different. It's ice cream. Ice cream.

This is a sugar-free Coke I'm drinking. There you go. Coke Zee-Roy. I like it better. Hey, somebody sent me some sugar-free ketchup. I don't know who it was, but. Well, that will not. Oh, speak of somebody.

I know who that was. Hey, darling, thanks very much for the bod. Yeah. The Bond. Please continue that sentence. Hey, look, the women love the bod. I don't care what y'all say. All I'll say to that is this is a good thing that,

You know, they haven't activated smell through a podcast or through the YouTube. Well, I'm just telling you, hey. It's a little stout. I've had, well, I've had too many women that gave me a hug say, hey, you smell wonderful. That's because if they look at you, they expect you to smell way different. Well, well, I'm just saying, I'm just saying I use. They use the odorant. Birth around that fella.

The older, plus the bod. Plus the bar. That's right. And the combination is on the, Unreliad. Godwin, I got three... It's amazing. I got three emails about sugar-free ketchup for you.

But none of them said they sent it. Somebody sent some. The fans are thinking about it. But there was no name on it. Well, Steve, Letitia, and... Latisha, I like it. Whoever you are. Somebody else.

Yep. Thank you very much. He appreciate it. Thank you very much. Well, how's your journey going, old buddy? It's going pretty good. Well, good. Oh, your numbers are good now?

It's starting to feel better. Yeah. Okay, well, good deal. Yep. Because I told Martin, I've been worried about you. I just, I just sat, I said, hey, I'm taking care of him when he's with me. I just sat my arm and said, 98. 98.

That's an A. Maybe that's a good number. That's an A. Hey, that's good. Hey, that's what the boys crashed the gate at 98. On convoy. Saying let them truckers roll. That's right.

Let them truck. Hey, run them bears down, boys. Oh, ch-ch. They even had the national girls. Bears in the air, boys. I don't know what we're talking about. Yeah, that's an old song by, UW McCall. That's right.

With McCall. Yeah, C.W. McCall. C.W. McCall on. You got your yers on? What's wrong with your shoulder? I don't know. My shoulder just went weird. Mm-hmm.

That's what happened. Old age. Do you want me hitching? It's clearly. I can make it feel different. I use the term. Today. Today is my brother-in-law's.

60th birthday. I said, hey, we're going to eat with them tonight. I said, we'll pay because we're going to use your senior discount. That's right. We're going to show them your ID. Y'all going to Grandies? I don't know. They had a senior discount.

My dad, he went grade about 35. He's been getting senior discount for about 40 years now. 40 years. They just, they looked at him and saw gray hair and thought he deserved senior discount. They thought it was older than we was, boys. There you go. That's profiling at it. best.

That's it. He never argued. Kind of like when you order a drink at a drive-thru. Don't. Why do, people, do I sound like you should say, yes, ma'am, every drive-thru. So I was just at Sonic. No, no. Just what y'all was just talking about, I got carted in Texas.

And guess what I was buying? What? Spray pay. Scratch off tickets? No, ice and free notes. A lady behind the counter said, I had to see your ID, sir. Oh, she just wanted to confess. fire him, that was you.

Oh, yeah. Well, hey, that's exactly right. Yeah. I don't think there's an age appropriate. Well, hey, I'm just saying, I said, hey, I said, I've been, you know. I said, that's the first time I've been carded. Well, when I go to Sonic, they always order and they say, yes, ma'am, pull right around. And then I guess it's a surprise.

Oh, I get it. Okay. I'm just checking. I'm double checking. Hey, he said he gets it. Talking deeper. Hey, look, John Gove said he gets it. You must have a feminine voice.

I guess so. When it's on the... He's just happy. Yeah. Well, hey, there you go. I'm leaving. Bye. Bye.

Well, bye. God was that. I said, no, I get it. I guess so. I'm wanting to get a job there just to see if it sounds different. Here's my question, though. Are you offended? It's funny every time because I just, I pull up.

up smiling. I'm like, it's me. Yeah. I see this coming. I'm not sure why that would offend some people. It doesn't offend me. I just, it happens so often. I'm wondering, like, do I, this, my voice sound like a lady. It's kind of underhanded compliment. Yeah, you sound like a young. I'm not like a young person.

There you go. In theory. In theory. Yeah. Yeah, let's go. It's a compliment. Let's go with that. Oh, hey. What?

Speaking of that. Speaking of compliments, old bodspray's got one. So on the news, they finally done something that was worthwhile. What did they do? They've been wondering about Stonehenge all this time. I read the news this morning. I didn't know where this was going. Well, no, no, no.

You all, I saw it on television. Okay, good. Okay, but hey, Stonehenge was actually some guy that lived way back then, he actually should have been born in the 60s or lived in the 60s. Why is that? Because, hey, because they finally found out it was, what is it something called, amphitheaters? That's what Stonehenge was.

You think? An amphitheater? That's what they, yeah, that's what they say because, look, you go in it. For three people? No, no. Well, you go in there, and when you talk, if you're on the outside, you can't hear it. You've got to be in the circle of big rocks.

I think it was aliens. No. Halions. Aliens. Aliens. He almost hit big dummy The man who's famous for believing in make-believe things No, you're an idiot

Hold it, hold it, whoa, wait a minute Ain't a way, wait a minute, hey Whoa. Let me rephrase it. How did they get them rocks up there back then? They towed them. They moved them? Hey, that's another thing they show.

Where do they come from? I don't know if that was on PBS, but it was on something. It may have been on Nova. They actually moved them, okay, just like the Nisselights. built the pyramids, slaves, slaves. Slave labor. Slave labor.

With ropes, pulleys, and logs. I would have just put it on the ground and dug out beneath it. Nope. That's good thinking, not. No, no, that. It was just sun. It was just the sun.

You had to have pulleys, ropes, and strong. Both of them are equally hard work. That's it. A lot of muff. That's a deep hole. That's why I was aliens. You seen Independence Day? They could pick them suckers up and just drop it.

Something tells me if an alien's come and look down here right now, they'd say, ain't what? That's why they built Stonehenge and said, I'm out. This place is weird. Yeah, they look around. All it was with amphithea. I don't know about this place. Yeah, amphitheat.

So they's having concerts. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Preaching and whatever there. All that. Yeah. I bet that was a wild concert. Oh, it was.

I guarantee you what. Rick James may have been there. Rick that's who you're going with Rick James No no look Super Freak was all right man Hey I'm sorry

Rick James was cool And not on that Look He was only 17 And he got in trouble With their army Is this Rick James or the person The built Stonehenge?

Oh no no The Rick James The person was the same I keep telling Super freak Okay He was a song He was bad at the bone

But anyway, he ran afoul of the Army And he was only 17 So they only gave him like five months Because he actually went to Canada You know, he, he dodged draft him Oh, he was a draft doctor Yeah, he was a draft dodger They gave him

I would too if I'd been 17 They'd grow up first He's still a kid Good, not Yeah Oh, man That was when he was fixed to become famous And I'm going to have a record deal

and all this was going on, everything was going good for him, then the U.S. military picked him up because he was on state, singing. Then they said, well, okay, wait a minute, hold. We've got to get the boy to pray at the campus, 17 years old. So we'll give him five months and let him get out. But it was an interesting story. Yeah, the boy had, he had, that super freak song was bad to the bone. It was a good jive.

I'd call, Sy, at night and ask him what he's watching just so I could watch it too, But he's going to hang up on me. So it doesn't. Oh, no, no. I'm trying to kill all these spam calls I get. Well, you had spam call killed Martin yesterday morning. Well, well, hey, he just told me about that. He said, why didn't you talk to him?

And I said, hey, I didn't recognize the number. He's just too early in the morning. No, no, why didn't you give me to your ID? I don't know. Did you look? Yeah. If I got a name on it, I answer it. But if it ain't a name on wireless call and all that,

hey, I hit two buttons. Spam calls are the word. Hello? and end it. You didn't even say hello. No, I didn't say I said anything. I said, but I hit the hello button and then I hit it. Goodbye.

And then I hit it. Well, they could at least say hello or something? Because you just went. No, because hey, my wife finally told me and said, why are you talking? She said, that's a stupid machine. And I said, well, why didn't you tell me this before? They were carrying on the conversation. No, no, because I was saying hello and she said, hey, why are you talking?

You're just trying to find out about your vehicle. Well, I was trying to find out. I just to find out, hey, what's going on? What do you want? That's the one of the stupid age. You didn't give me that same courtesy. I heard the TV on like 37 if the volume only goes to 50. Right.

And then. No, it was on 70. Yeah. Whatever you're. Too many shotguns. It's loud. Yeah. Too many shotguns.

Anyway. All right. Well, let's take our first break. We'll be back. Oh, Rick James. All right. All right. Look, springtime is here.

It's warming up. You know what that means. That means more outside cooking. And y'all know we love to eat beef around here. And that's what because of our friends over at Triedells beef makes such a good product, baby. Ain't it good? It's so good. Our friend, Cy Robertson would say, buy on the grill.

Look, before we got Triedells, getting ready for a cookout, man, somebody had to run the grocery store, do all the things, grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day. And you never really know where that beef comes from. But with Triedells beef, we skip the grocery store and do it a different way. Tritails comes from a family ranch out in Texas. They're a fifth generation American ranch, so they've been at it for a while. Now, look, the beef comes straight from their ranch and other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way. Their steaks are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door. We threw a couple of ribbys on the grill.

Look, salt, pepper, garlic, hot fire, that's all you need. Look, because I'll tell you what, when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living, you can taste the difference. The tenderness and the flavor are fantastic. So if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season, go check out Tritails Beef. I know in size case Christine loves it, which is just a she doesn't eat meat.

She ain't a big meat easier, folks. Yeah. Just go to trybeef.com slash. That's trybeef.com slash. Dock. Support ranch families and eat some dang good steak. Like bringing back these boosters. They want these booster shots.

Well, I've just figured I got mine. I think they ought to put. I got mine another day. I think they ought to put Holy Water in it. I don't think that helped. From Stonehenge? That thing, my arm's stayed stored for two days. If you think it's worth a shot?

But hey, I think, you know, I think. But then there's, but then there. He didn't get it. I would take holy water. But then there's that whole name and blame deal, you know. The what? I didn't get that. What that?

Aim and blame deal? Yeah. Okay. Am it and blame it, boys. What are we talking about? No. No. Name it, name it.

Welcome to the doctor. He said he didn't want to take the Lord's name in vain by getting Holy Water in a shot. Oh, but it's worth a shot. Okay. There it is. Okay. There you go. Hey, he arrived. Hey, I wasn't listening to that just went.

No. Over my head like a jet. Why wouldn't you listen to? F-14. Well, I just didn't catch it. Okay. It didn't catch it. It was at the speed of sound, boys.

Somebody emailed me the other day and said our gospel symbols were backwards, and I was like, no, they're not. No, they're not. But they weren't backwards for me and sigh. They were backwards for everybody else that was watching. As long as you understand which arrow, which arrows. That's right. Booking and out. Now if you're looking at it, it's right.

Whoever emailed. Sorry, that was a weird thing I just did. Rick James. There you go. You just got to know the order. That's kind of like if you get scared to death twice. Aral coming from heaven, then the cross, then the tomb, then the other hour, going back there. Hold on.

And then he ain't got one, he ain't got but one hour left, boys. You just got to jump in there anytime. That's right. You got to make it quick, boys, when I get on that. If you get scared... You get scared half to death twice, what happens? I don't get scared of death. Half to death.

Period. I don't get scared. You never heard that expression. No, never been scared. That's like I said on half the day. What happens if you do it twice? Yeah, well, hi, there you. Full death.

It's got full... You've never been scared? No. New mission. Oh, that's a lie. Yeah, you bring a snake in here. Well, after it all. Yeah, that's a lie.

When I've said, okay, are you scared of death? No, being scared to death. That scared me half to death. Yeah. If it happens to life, you're in trouble. I don't, death don't even come in the picture. Unless the person holding the snout. I'd be scared if you're messing with a, uh, a, uh, a, uh, a, uh, a, uh, a, uh, a, uh, a, uh, a

Repetile. He don't like turtles. Death don't even come into the picture. Oh, hey, turtles are bad to the bone, too. You'll tell you what, if they grab you? Oh, yeah. You know, it could, you know. They don't let go till it thunders.

That's right, or something like that. That's what my grandpa used to say. And then they got something that I. A gillow monster. If he bites you, he don't ever let go. A what? A gillum monster. A gila.

A hila monster, okay. I always said gillah. Okay. Well, that's how I spelled. Well, I know. I pronounce it like it's spelled. Yeah, I know. A kill a monster.

You ain't ever seen him? Oh, they ever. Oh, that's the little spotted black and red and white. Kind of loose. Ooh. He reminds me of Willie a little bit. Go to the chubby. Loosely what they base the movie holds off.

And he got small legs? Yeah, yeah, he got chubby legs. Short chubby legs. Oh, well, he ain't got chubby legs. A bird legs. Yeah. He looked like a her in. A chicken that's been on a diet?

He looked like a short-legged eagret. Uh-oh, short-legged Eaggart. I mean, I'm just saying. I ain't never seen a short-legged eaget. Well, the ones I've seen have been long-legged. You wow. Stonehenge. Yeah.

What kind of music they play at Stonehenge? It had to be rock and roll. They was practicing for Woodstock. Right. That's it. Hey, there it is. I teed you one up. That was, yeah.

They started with stones and then changed the wood. Is that what you say? That's it. Went from stones to rolling stones at that. Well, they couldn't roll them. They're square. Uh-oh. Be square.

A rectangle. Uh-oh. Hey, look. Uh-oh. No. You don't upset the apple cart now. You had to be there. You don't mess.

You don't mess. Square musicians. Oh, my goodness. You done messed up. Hey, A. Yeah, you don't want, wow. Square musicians. That's bad

Where's he going? I don't know Most time I can keep this on track But not the best Somebody hit a lawsuit Runs off I'm just saying Bring him back in

I did watch PBS The other night What was on? In the words of my son Carter Boring And he put his thumbs down What was it? Antig Road Show

I don't know what It was boring It was like something From the 80s It wasn't nature I don't know what that comes on They've done something It didn't have me

That's a good sign. Back in the Caesar's days and the gladiators. Thumbs down meant they were going to kill you. I watched Gladiator last night. Tom's down means put your swords down. I thought whenever he did this. You found a new meaning.

Thumbs up. Hey, this, that's the new meaning for you. It means put your swords down. I'd messed them up, did. No, I remember whatever? He said. Hey, you got the computer right there. Marcus really is.

Check him out if you don't believe him. And they were like, live, live, live. And he gave his thumbs up, so he got to live. Gladiator, right? Ain't that a movie? Mm-hmm. It was on TV last night. You're saying it's historically inaccurate?

Historically inaccurate. Uh-oh. Historically inaccurate, JD. Thumbs down. Thumbs down means you... I took Latin in high school and college, and we didn't get to this part. I don't think I would have obeyed that rule. I don't think you had much of a choice, did you?

If the Caesar says put your swords down. Oh, hey, no, if I'm going to die, I ain't doing what the seizure says. Hey, you're supposed to give to Caesar what's Caesar's. Oh, well, I give him mine. Oh, I give him my. Martin got biblical. Martin said, remember that guy from Nazareth who told you something? Yeah.

Now, if he told me, I'll do it. he did he said give to caesar was seizures yeah that's what he said he wasn't talking about little seizars oh i'd give him what he told him because i have a feeling he'd be very disappointed that's what he told them or sad

feel good it is sad you see he's one of them they asked him should they pay their taxes he said who's face is on that coin he said i don't like that bible verse

that was talking that would probably be i was saying it that's just like one of those You're like, hey, this is one of your options, you know. Hey, do you have, the human being have dislikes and likes? Yeah. Hey, don't be scared of the sword. Hey, ain't you up to no good.

Hey, if you die by the sword, you die by the sword. Or a thumb, apparently. That's right. Hey, thumbs you got to. Thumbs up. Hey, the thumb is very important. Thumbs up, you better watch out. I'm really rooting for you to be proven right, Gobbin, because I have no idea.

Oh, I'm right. That's good. Just ask me, I'll tell you. I'm literally reading an article about it. Is it? Well. You never said, just asking, boy, you'll tell you. I have no idea.

Back in the days of the Romans, what was the meaning of this or this? Because it's like, well, you might think this from the Gladiator movie, but that's not technically true. Well, then that tells you right there. That tells you your movie was wrong. That's right. Sir, it's Gladiator. It's a cool movie Hey

I mean You don't want to confuse everybody It had a good star So it's Titanic but that boat still sunk That's true That didn't change that Iceberg still cracked it Yeah I mean

How did they hit that thing Hey you can't miss it? Head on You can't miss them As I said you can't miss it Hey if it looks like a little bitty thing on top It's gigantic That captain said

This is the biggest boat in the ocean. Turn them lights off. They run into the biggest iceberg in the Atlantic. I don't know how true that is. I don't know either. It was big enough to break it. Johnny D.'s perplexed now. The thumbs up things.

Set it to the bottom, boys, is all I know. Especially because Gladiator was on TV last. I was all. Phil Robertson. They and Brittany have been watching all the old alones You ain't seen that? On history channel Oh yeah

Where they drop them off out there in the middle of nowhere And make it a hundred days you get a million bucks How real is? Let me tell you Seems real Seems real You think you just go shoot you a deer or something No

You gotta have some fat somewhere Yeah You got to eat fat You want to stay alive You can't just get meat and eat that meat and think you're going to survive. I do. I got a question I want to pose for Sye,

but we'll do that when we get back. Let's take another break. We'll be right back. Good on. So, old boy, he got him a muscox on a loan. Now, this is a few seasons ago. A muscox? So he saved all the bow shot, by the way.

Yeah, right in the rear end. Then he stabbed him to death. Whoa. Yeah, that's crazy. It's wild. I've got to watch this now. Yeah. But, so he saves all of it.

He gets down there at the end, my man's hungry. The last thing he got is the stomach and the stomach content of said muskots. That mustouts can go. And he ate the stomach contents of the muskops. Si? Look at him. I wish people could trade the expression on this place. He killed.

He has the most. A muckold. He killed a muscox with a bow and air and a knife. That a canife. Mm-hmm. Then he's eating this thing. He's rationing it. He eat every piece of him.

Okay. And all it's left is the stomach and what that animal had been eating. Uh-huh. And been digesting. And it had been stored for a while. Mm-hmm. It was cold, though. And then he put it in a pot and warmed it up and ate it.

Hard pain. Well, I will say this for that. The boy's got a strong stomach, and he's got a strong nose. It wasn't very big. Because if he could eat that ingredient, what's been digesting in an animal's belly. That's what I told Brittany. Like, I've been around enough hunting camps and enough things. When I saw that the first thing I smelled was a gut-shot deer, which is one of the worst.

Yeah, and here's what I know. from that if it had been me and this is a life or death situation would you? I'd die, I die he's gone. I was hitting that button saying I'm tapping out boys, I can't do it. Lord? I'm officially tapping out. I'll fix it. Lord, I'm coming home. He's grabbing in that satellite coming. Because I'm not

going to eat that. My man made it a hundred days and I think he still has some left in the tank which is what's crazy. Like, I mean that's... You think you could eat that? Who, me? Yeah. Uh-uh. No, not if my option is I can push a button on a phone and they'll come get me in a helicopter.

And give you a cliff bar? Yeah, I'm out. Like, yeah, no-uh. Your boys going home. Actually, the difference between me and him, I'd have never saved that. I'd have been like, oh, that's the guts. No, no, that's gone. I'd never ended up in that situation.

Yeah, that wouldn't even be an option. Yeah, I wouldn't be there. He wouldn't have been stored up under my bench that I made saving for, you know, day 90. No, I'd never got to the gut. I was thinking about that day made Rockhouse. That's him.

That's old Rockout. Old Rowland. Yeah, that shot with his bow. Yeah, he shot him in the hind quarter. 35 yards, yeah. That's one of them things, though, until you're putting it in a situation. Yeah, now survival, you've got to let it bump.

But, I mean, this man was, he was, he was 23, 30 minutes from getting picked up in the helicopter and getting a pizza. How good does the pizza say? You know, I just, I don't even think. I was, I was a life and death. I don't think I could put it off. I don't ever save that. Well, I don't think I could do it looking at it and smelling it. I could not put it in my mouth.

Much less heating it back up in a pot of water, huh? Yeah. That dude. That did. That did have a name forever. Calendar tree. Oh, yeah. Rockhouse.

He was wild. O'Roleon was wild now. Oh, he'll kill you. But if you get in a bind, he got to get in a bind with. You ain't lying. Not if he's going to make me eat that. He can't. He's like that old dude, what's his name on the Vikings?

You can't kill him. Eric, you read? Stephen Seagall? No. Eric's Red. Hard to kill. Stephen Seagall tight now. Yeah.

He'll tear your arm on. off and beat you with it. Yeah. Oh, but no, I was just wondering what you'd do with that. No, I would, I just, because I've always said, well, wait a minute, you got to think, a million dollars right here. So I don't need a million dollars? No, say, that don't.

A billion dollars. You could come up there with an 18 wheeler full, okay. and I still ain't going to do it. He ain't doing it. I just... I can't feel or fully. I couldn't even force myself to do it. I was wondering, I looked at it and I told Britney.

I said, I could not do it. The smell of gut-shot beer is like coming through my nostrils right now. And this old boy is thinking, I'm about to eat that. No, no, no. You're talking about a colon cleanser. I bet you that went right through him. I give you a nice little massage. on the way out.

I feel sick. No, no, no, no. I'm not having fun anymore. That's worse than college. Oh, that's like Mom and Daddy used to say, okay, that when they was kids. Eat your vegetables. Well, no, no, no, they would eat a possum.

Huh? Yeah. Awesome. I had a possum name. Awesome. No, no, no, no. Because it's the same lane. Because, you know, me and my brother walked across the field going to squirrel out,

and there's a dead cow over. Okay, so there's something moving on the back of this dead cow. And what it is is a possum, and he's coming out the exit of a cow. I've seen the same thing on Beth River. Okay, and he's been in there, and that's what, he spent time in there eating, just what we're talking about. Well, they didn't eat his stomach. Well, no, no, I'm just saying, that's why I'm saying.

No. And then y'all ate that? Huh? Well, mom and dad did his kids. Cy, you got any good beaver recipes? I've noticed these people on there that kill them a beaver and eat it. They always end up sick and go home. Well, no, no.

That's another one. That's another one. It don't last long. Uh-uh. I met an Uber driver from West Virginia one time that made possum cheese, like hoghead cheese, but he just made it out of the possum. Well, no, no. I get the look on it.

No, no. I got a picture of him, too. The wild and wonderful world. Oh, no, no. That's why I'm saying. A beaver is one of God's unique creations. Okay. And look, if you trap them and you wanted the fur,

you've got to skin them. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay, you could take the sharpest knife made. Okay. And like when you start skinning a beaver, he's got like fingernails of meat

on the inside of his fur fingerlings just you know when you start pulling the eye out of it's just like fingers and you've got to sit there and just all the whittle whittle but it'll take the sharpest knife

made and within a minute you could do this and it wouldn't and cut you. All the fast. I don't know what it is That's the toughest animal to skin

I've ever seen in my life I never skinned one A beaver A beaver But you're talking about That's the only true Waterproof fur there is A beaver

He's waterproof I just notice all them folks on that show They eat it They don't last long But then boys that eat them porcupines They stay around a while Yeah Well that's like

Yeah. Hey. I got to go. What are you watching, man? Alone, man. You need to go look it up. Check it out. It's pretty cool.

Yeah, that's a good show. That's good. I noticed they take a long time before they get them shelters built, too. Yeah. Some of them build elaborate shelters. Well, that's hard than you think, too. No. It ain't harder than I think.

It looks impossible to me, so it can't be harder than I think. I'm just saying, hey, there's a lot more to do that for survival. then you would think. Oh, them folks, man, they, and after a while, they got to watch how hard they work because they'll lose weight. Well, no, no, because they do medical checks on them. And if they lose too much, they're gone. I could not survive up in the north.

It's too cold. You know, I could never get enough clothes on to stay warm. Oh, no, you part. They leave. No, you part lizard. I know. I look at that mess. Hold on this.

I could never make it in like Alaska. I live there. No, sir. They took that one girl out because her toe got frostbite. Yeah. So you couldn't make it in Missouri. She's back on this new one. No, I'm a fair weather man.

Okay. Me too. Because when it gets, you know, you're talking about 40 below. 40 below zero. Oh, yeah. You're going to live in that and work in that? Oh, yeah. I don't even like 40 above zero.

living in a tarp. No, no, that's what I'm saying. And I got a fireplace. I could not, I wouldn't live long because everything burnable would be on that. He would be gone. He turned a north into a rise to him. Oh, no, no, no. It wouldn't be nothing left.

He'd burn off. Because I would burn everything in sight. The boreal forest gone. No, no, no, yeah. It's like the cedar of Lebanon. you know, it used to be a giant forest of cedar.

No, they burn it and it's a desert. That's where it's left where it was. There you go. Well, there's our survival. They cut all the trees down and burn them. That's what I would do. Before I'd freeze, oh no,

I'd burn everything there is. Light that sucker up. Oh, no. Hey, I told them. In the military. I was actually out in the field one time in Germany. And look, freezing fog came through.

And like, I don't know what the temperature got to. All I know is the fog come through and everything was crystallized when it went by. Everything was iced over. And they told me, which I was only 85 a time, hey, get some heat for these soldiers. Y'all and I was looking around, I was E5. You know, and I was saying, E6, E7 and E8 was running around. They ain't doing nothing. why come tell me to do all this for everybody?

So look, we got the tents up, you know, got the Herman Deltzer heater's out, and look, every tent it was glowing red up through the top of the tent. The captain comes to me and he said, you're going to burn up and a day? And I said, hey, look, before I get any colder, I fixed the poor diesel on that deuce and a half and set that baby up. What day and a half of a pile? We got one choice here. I'm going to burn everything.

out here that we come out here with or we're going to go back home and go where it's warm. Yeah. We ain't going to have no supplies here in a minute. There ain't nothing going to be left because I'm going to put fire all of it. The funniest part of that is I know 100%. That's true. We ain't going to have none of it. Because I've seen the man have a heater in a duck blind catch his jacket on fire.

He was so close. It didn't even know it. And shotgun shells start falling into the far. and it's just every man for himself at that point get the heck out of here son that is true i mean that's why i'm laughing so hard because i believe he looked at his commander and said oh no buddy we've done that's a true story because this what i'm talking about was 10 years ago he wasn't like old and frail then i mean he's old he wasn't frail and he oh no before i freeze to death trust me when I tell you, I burn everything in sight and within reach of me.

That man keeps them little Coleman green bottles in business. He puts him in another tax bracket. There was two things, yeah, there was two things that I would not be without when I was in the military. What's that? That's heat and bullets. Because I'm not, number one, I'm not going to fight you hand to hand. I'm going to have a bullet to shoot you. Okay.

Number two, I'm not going to be froze to death, okay? Smart. I'm going to have heat, and they're going to say, well, hey, wait, me, if the enemy can see the fire, who cares? I got bullets. I've got bullets and I've got heat. Who cares? That's good advice.

Kill me and put me out of my misery. No, a little bit of a older fella. Because this is too old to fight. He'll just kill you. Hey, just kill me, because before I get cold, I'd rather be dead. sigh did it rain as much in Vietnam as they made it out to on uh for scump it rains more Johnny D's trying to debunk all movies now that Gladiator has been ruined for him I'll tell you this never ruin I'll tell you this are you

entertained a company is 300 million 350 the most probably a company I've seen it rain so hard that a company a company of 350 men disappeared. Disappeared? Yeah. Where'd they go? Looking at them and it starts raining, they're gone. They gone. Not even no, no image, no shadows, no nothing,

it's just a solid wall of water. Boy, you're talking about blending in to your surroundings. No, no. They literally disappeared. Okay. It was the wildest I ever seen in my life. Okay. They called them monsoons.

which is, I don't know what the word monsoon means. Big rain. I don't know. A lot of water. I'm just guessing. I'm just guessing. Take cover. If you'd ever seen it rain in Vietnam, you'd believe in the flood.

Trust me. Oh, I believe in it anywhere. Okay. Because I'm telling you. Well, that's why they got three. Unreal. Junkles. Do what now?

That's why there's three canopy jungles. Why? It rained so much. It rained like out here, you already looked like it. It'd grow, grow, grow, grow, grow. Water makes everything grow. Mine was pretty much dead until this rain got started, now it's green again. I mowed mine just before it all started.

So it, so. Oh, boy. Bless you, sir. Thank you. So that Forrest Gump's accurate when it just rained and never stopped. Well, it stops. And that's another thing that's so crazy. It's about 115 in the shade.

Oh, yeah. It can rain for like 15 minutes. Okay, probably what, five inches of rain in 15 minutes? Five inches of rain and 15 minutes. Hey, when I'm talking about, look, miserable. It's literally, okay, a wall of water. That's great.

Because I stepped out before when it was doing it because I had to go. You know? Had to go where? Had to go. Leave. Oh. Okay. Places.

All right. So I just stepped out. Hey, I immediately soaking wet. I mean, they ain't a dry spot on my body, period. So you didn't keep your socks dry? Oh, no, nothing's dry. Lieutenant Day, I mean, everything is soaking wet. Did it do that for months or just off and on all the time?

No, it would off and on. It wouldn't like a feed. Like, hey, it rained for 15 minutes, and like I said, probably, it may rain range five inches in 15 minutes. Well, hey, 15 minutes later, the ground wouldn't even be moist. It'd be dry because it's 115 in the shade. Sun's out guns. Oh yeah, it's gone.

The moisture's gone. So you didn't have to worry about better no farther over. Oh, no, no. You just had to worry about bullets. Worry about bullets, boys. That's crazy. Ridiculous. Beautiful.

One of the things that got me, Vietnam is a gorgeous country. The countryside is cop dead gorgeous. What I heard. I'm serious. You see any ducks over? Oh, yeah. Thousands, millions of them.

Really? Yeah. We actually went out. to shoot up extra ammunition, which was stupid. But anyway, we did it. The government did it. And we went out in the jungle. Well, over there was a big rice field that they planted by hand.

80 acres, 80 acres planted by hand. And then there was a 5 million ducks on it. And I said, yeah. I said, hey, reckon y'all can give me a 60 caliber of me sheing on with plenty of ammunition and the captain We got any of that we need to burn?

Yeah the company commander said What would you do with it? I said hey I'm going duck on I said I'm going duckling And I said hey You like duck We'll have duck for supper

Duck and dressing You would have had it for supper For the next time Oh you hadn't had nothing with a 60 Oh I'd love to done it though That or Claymore's I knew what's coming No, no

He loves the Claymore The U.S. government needs to listen to this podcast I can solve your ghost problem He's back Put me with the United States of America's Army Okay Give me a four or five deuce and a half Okay

And all the claymores And switches and boards that I can use To put them all together And then I'm going to need you know, 25 more dump trucks with a labor force to pick them up. Done. And hey, I would end the goose problem. There you go.

You heard it here for you? That's right. Well, let's take our last break. We'll be back right after this. I want to watch Clayboard. Oh, no, that would be so much fun. Let's get in that mailbox, T.D. I thought we were still in a break, because every break we talk about rat hunting now.

You all ready for mail? Yeah. Hey, email us. Hello at Duckcallroom.com. We'll answer questions. You got mail. Read story. Who knows where we'll go?

I got a pretty serious one to start off. All right. No questions. He's just asking for prayers. Nick, 27 years old, lives in Pinellas Park, Florida. Marine vet. So thank you for that, sir. Thank you, sir.

But he was diagnosed with the malignant form of brain cancer, and he's having surgery tomorrow. So when this airs, he will already had surgery. Hopefully they will get it all, sir. and that God will give you a speedy recovery and a long life. Yep, but Nick, I just wanted to shout that out so our fans could be praying for you as well. Yep. And let's go into the mailbox.

Kyra emails in from South Carolina. Cacalek, boys. And we talk about sports a lot in here. And she just, we never talk about baseball, Martin. Yeah, my word. Hey, that's America's game. She's wondering if we like baseball. I was thinking that's America's game.

Do you watch baseball? Yes, I do. No, you don't. Yes, I do. I like cheeseburgers. I like hot dogs. But I can't eat them no more. He can't eat them no more.

Okay. Did you eat hot dogs? Nope. Pitiful. That's why he ain't going to a baseball game. They got a Kiwi hot dog? I can have, I guess I can have the meat. Time out.

We can't glance over what he just said. Oh, what? Is it kiwi? I thought that's what they got... Oh, he's trying to say kemwa. Okay. Kimwa, whatever. I thought it was Kiwi.

I don't know. I don't even know what that word. But no, I only watch baseball in October. I'm more interested in a Kiwi hot dog than a quinoa hot dog, by the way. Well, hey, it's not any sugar in it. Eich. Hot dogs are wonderful. Well, hey, I know it.

It's good, y'all. Is it a sandwich? Oh, boy. Here we go. It's been there. It's the first 10 episodes of this podcast. We know it is. All right, moving on.

So who's your favorite baseball team? Because you watch baseball? I don't have a favorite baseball team. Because you don't watch baseball. I just watch it. The coolest thing I remember about baseball is I just can't remember the name. Never can't remember the guy's name is that he threw a fastball and hit a pigeon flying between home plate. Randy Johnson, baby.

Okay, Randy Johnson. And look. The big unit. It looked like he had been shot. with a shotgun and blown two pieces because he blew up. Oh, yeah. He did this. 99 miles an hour.

Oh, no. Hey, that was the funniest thing I've seen my life. Okay. I loved it. We're going to watch that together. Oh, no, no. Why?

It was a classic. That's a classic, you know, fastball, 100 mile an hour, hits a pigeon and blows him up. If you just type in Randy Johnson on Google, bird comes up. That's it. Immediately. The bird. Martin, you, so are you, she's a brave,

fan. Aren't you a Braves fan of some sort? Yeah, I mean. I'm not. Oh, yeah. Way to go. Tell them. No, I'm not telling you. Oh. They're world champions recently, though, allegedly. The Astros? Hey, they're in first place right now. They're no longer cheating. The Astros are good, boy.

They prove... Hey, watch this, Sa. Yep. Bam! Bam! Bam! The Astros prove that cheaters do, in fact, sometimes win. All right. Take it. Boy, it looks like a show one of the 10 gates. There's a video on YouTube of that bird. It's exploding over it.

All right, let's get back in the mailbox. This one's, uh, this man needs some advice. Heath. What's up, Heath? He's 30 from New Boston, Texas. Does he really know where New Boston, Texas? New Boston, Texas.

I'll look it up after I read this. Probably somewhere around old Boston. Maybe. All right, he's a big fan of the podcast, Duck Dynasty. Didn't grow up in the outdoors. But he started duck hunting because of Duck Dynasty, right about that time. at least.

So seven years ago, he's an outdoors man, he loves it. Seven years ago, he brought 20 acres of land and he hunts on it. Geese, deer hunting ducks. That's pretty impressive

for 20 acres if you're getting... And he's ready to build a house on it. He's been, he's got married a couple years ago. They're living a camper on this land because he loves the land. But something has come up. Now he needs advice.

He's currently a technician for about 10 years. He doesn't really like it for a while now and he doesn't like being cooped up in the shop all day, right? Because he wants to be outside. So now he's got a job offer working for my third cousin. I don't even know how third cousins work for a company. He'll get to be outside all day, traveling, benefits are great, finances are better, more church and families closer to his age live there. But he's got to move to Arkansas, three hours away.

Oh, he's a lot of critters in Arkansas. And he's got to leave his family's, what he calls his little hunting paradise. What should I do? Well, you're going from one little hunting paradise where you're at to another one in Arkansas. How far away? Three hours. I'd keep the one. I'd keep the one in Texas.

Give me a place to go hang out on a weekend. I'd leave the camper and I'd have me a hunting camp. There you go. There you go. New boss. Austin's like touching Arkansas. So then he's got to be around Little Rock. Closer than that.

Well, he may be probably around Little Rock. Yeah, that sounds a little Rock. I agree with Martin. Keep that as your little secret spot to go back to. Unless you can't afford it, then don't do nothing stupid. Well, no, no, he just got a great job and a great, the more money and all that. Hey, all I got to say is, hey, when are you packing and going? I'm with you.

What are you waiting on? That's what my woman says. when she got a knee job and told me what she was going to make she said what do you think of her to do i said clean out your lock tell them bye yeah deuses player yeah that one seems pretty easy yeah that sounds like a win-win situation to me there brother keep you place in texas move to arkansas yeah and it's only three hours if you were eight hours okay yeah but three hours crap i've driven that far in a morning to go duck hunting yeah like don't don't test me on where I'll drive to go hunting.

I mean, especially if there's a lot of ducks there. Yeah. All right. That one's easy. Consensus answer. There you go. Done.

All right. Here's a tough one. Real tough. Name's Jimmy. He's been a long time listener. But here's a deal. His dad wasn't the best father figure. He loved his dad,

but whenever his dad would, you know, drink a little much, He was a mean dude. Mom's a Christian, but she's super mean about that. So we got, you know what I'm saying? You know the people. She's very judgmental. Basically, families, there's a fracture there.

He won't talk to his mom. She won't talk to him. His mom says bad things about him to his kids. So he's like, you know what? We're going to love him from afar. Yep. They haven't hardly shared a text in two and a half years, much less talk.

The last time my kids saw her in town, she told my oldest son, I'll always love you no matter what your dad says. I've never said a bad thing about her. I feel like I've done what I can. I think a lot of the problem is that I remind her of my dad, whom I believe she hates, even though he's dead. All that said, I feel guilty because my dad told me to always be good to my mom. But I don't feel comfortable bringing my kids around her because of all the stuff that happens. So it's a whole bad deal. but what's the answer?

There's a lot more to that that we don't know. That one sounds like it's best suited for a licensed professional. Yeah. I'm just being honest. Yeah. Yep. Like that one, you need a counselor. Yeah, professional help would be your answer on now.

I agree with Martin on that. I mean, that's a tough one. I mean, it's a bad deal, but you're doing the right thing if you want to keep your kids away from that. I completely understand that and don't disagree with it. But, you know, I, I've been around them super judgmental type too. Sometimes it's got to wash your hands clean of it,

which is what you're doing. I suck because it's your mama. Yeah. There's two things, two ways you can have it. If she's willing to get help and you're willing to get help and y'all can work it out together with professional help, something can be done.

But if she's so set in her ways and it's not willing to work with you or this the other way you're not willing to work with her it's a no go it ain't going to do you're going to get together face to face with somebody there

with an unbiased third party yeah and get it all that what's going on because no matter if you just go talk to her yourself nope not good

nope this has got to be a third party in love you need a mediator there needs to be that's where I was getting because she's telling people one thing you're telling people another the thing. There needs to be somebody who is looking at it who's going to point out things you can't see. I wouldn't put my... You can't see.

I will say this. I'm with Martin with... I wouldn't put my kids in that. Yeah. Yeah, y'all need to get it. At your right as a parent, too. As a parent, yeah, you got to write, okay. You know, if y'all can't work it out together with a third person, professional, okay, then it's unsolvable.

There ain't many. I won't take a swing at, but that one needs, that one needs somebody who's qualified. Yeah. Yeah. Or as we like to say, both of the best advice. That's their best advice to give you. Both of you's going to have to be honest.

You know, if your mom and you are willing get a third party, a professional involved, and then maybe you can with God's help, work it out, and then be a real family. Yeah. Yeah, because there's tons of Christian counselors out there.

Yeah. There's hope. There's not like all hope is lost on this, but it's just going to take some work on both of you part. That's right. For sure. Yep. All right.

We wish you to best, my man. Let's roll on out of here. You ready for the verse? Yeah. I'm just going to read you Big Dave's verse. He sent me this morning. I like it. There you go.

All this is for your benefit so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause Thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God. Second Corinthians 415. May your heart overflow from the goodness and grace that God gives us all. That's what Big Dave told me this morning. That's what I'm telling all y'all now. That's what you go with. Who doesn't love? Thank you.

Nine of it. He sent that seven hours ago. I wasn't awake. That was early. He was thinking about you there, my brother. All right. We'll see y'all next time right here in a duck call room. We out.

Bye.