Duck Call Room - Uncle Si Outs Willie Robertson’s Unicorn Jammy Jams

Episode Date: June 2, 2026

Uncle Si and the boys get honest about the bullies they faced growing up, from schoolyard shakedowns to the moments they finally learned to stand their ground. John-David shares the blunt advice his dad gave him as a kid about how to deal with bullying, and Martin can’t wait to give a young first-time dad some parenting tips. Phillip reveals more of Si’s nighttime habits than Si might be comfortable with, and everyone is shocked to hear the news of Willie’s oddball pajama situation.  Duck Call Room episode #557 is sponsored by: https://nutrafol.com — Get $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you use promo code DUCK! https://factormeals.com/duck50off — Get 50% off and free daily greens per box with new subscription using code duck50off at checkout! *Terms and conditions apply Upgrade your dad’s everyday routine. Go to https://buyraycon.com/duckOPEN to get 15% off. Thanks Raycon for sponsoring! Try QUO for free PLUS get 20% off your first 6 months when you go to https://quo.com/DUCK - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Well, we're going to turn this baby up or not. Yeah, fine, well. Our way! Hey, wait on you to say, welcome back to the duck call room. Hey, folk, welcome back to the duck call room. Welcome back. You're the one that was spouting off the titles of today's episode before we were recording,

so I figured you had something in your crawl you needed to get out of there. He does. I really do in a way. We need to talk about appreciation. Teacher appreciation. I love it. I love it. For teachers?

For teachers? We need to go from inward to outward. That's biblical, sigh. I want to Pete. You must have been studying late. You have on your head. Well, see, I got an unashamed after this one. Oh, okay.

He's gone deep. He's getting ready to go deep. Oh, hey. What are y'all doing in unashamed? Well, hey, stay in the shallow end until you get over in the deep end. Hold on, hold on. What are they, what did they have you read before going in? Well, hey, look, we're talking about double-minded.

What? Okay, when you're double-minded, you're out. Double-minded? Yeah. I thought you were talking about the Bible over there. You're thinking about yourself too much. Double-minded. Got talking about schizophrenia?

Yeah, bipolarism? Yeah, like where we're at? We're in James. We're in James. Yeah, James 1. Jimmy. Well, James, I think we're going to cover it all four. The whole book.

Y'all are covering the whole book of James in an hour? Man, we do it at Christchurch right now. They ain't even through chapter one and two weeks. Well, I was just fixing. They're up to, what, 1,349 some episodes. of the Bible? Oh, unashamed. I don't know how many... They got a lot.

They got a lot. I'll look it up. Yeah, well, you all... 1,300 episodes. 1,300? Yeah, a little over. So they've been through the whole Bible at this point, right? Maybe. Yeah, we're now reaching.

Oh, yeah, they're working back to it. That's the problem when you use one book. Well, no, no. Eventually. Hey. Well, there's no way they were like, hey, we're going to hang out numbers for a few days. No.

I mean, imagine Jason now talking about numbers. Why not? No, no, no, no. They look like math guys. Here's the thing about that. Okay. Math it up. You could read it a thousand times

or 10,000 times that you'd always learn something that you missed. Yeah. Oh, I know that. James is good, too. Well, James is, I call it the action book. I call it Jimmy.

Jimmy. Do you think his friends called him Jimmy? I bet you his name was not. I don't know, but one of the questions. as we say it today. But one of the questions, what would you do? Jesus was your brother.

Biologically. Do what? What would you do if Jesus was your brother biologically? I'd have a little complex of, I'd have what they call these days an inferiority complex. Oh, no, see, I'd be a problem. Oh, yeah, my brother got this. Oh, no.

Oh, yeah. Then I could talk all the smack I wanted to, Hunter. My brother got this. Y'all wait till you all see what he can do. Hey, Jay, back me up on this one. I got into trouble about that one time, though. I'd bring him back to every party. You'd be what?

I'd bring him to every party. I'll do party trips. Yeah, that way you could drink for free. Yeah. With your brother Jesus? Hey, let me introduce you. I brought water. I'd get in a fight and let him give me.

B-Y-O-B. Come right back to life. I didn't bring anything about. I brought this guy. He didn't touch that jar. Watch what he did a bite. That's about that joke. What?

Hey, Jesus won't like that. Oh, man. The guy does it again, does something else. He said, Jesus is not going to like that. Then he said, oh, who is Jesus? That guy said, sick him, Jesus. Hey, who colored that duck on your hat, for real? Is that a honeyhole hat?

Yeah, it's a honeyhole hat. You think I'm wearing another hat? Oh, I was just a honey-hole hat. Every once in a while, Drew come up with something wild, and I'll just throw it on my head for fun. It is it. What's it look like? He's like he got a blue head.

That's green. Out from here. That's a blue bird. His body is green. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. His head is blue. From this way. I'm saying from this one.

I'm saying from this one. I'm going to assess Johnny D's. I just, oh. There you go. Hey, y'all can do that again. Throw it over here and see what I've seen. You could do that in a thousand years. Look.

Do that. I've got. When you see it in that light. It's got a little blue tint to it. It's the elusive. Blue head. Blue winged mallard. Yeah.

But, hey, that color is. Isn't on the mallard draughts? What? The blue? Yeah. Yeah, just not the whole thing. Yeah. Well, no, no, because I laid it on there.

Different angles. You get all kind of different colors on the green head. Oh, yeah. It looked like Willie when he was on dances, dancing with the stars or what was that? Oh, what was that show? He was a mass singer. A mass singer.

So I didn't even know. You were watching the whole time, but you didn't know it was Willie. You watched the math singer? Until he is. You do love karaoke. He said he was a milder, but he was a woodtuck was what he was.

Yeah, he's had an identity crushes too. Oh, my goodness. For years since he was born. I had dealt when I was younger too, though. Don't we all? I'm chatting. Yeah. Hold on.

Back to James. Yeah. Yeah. A.K. Jimmy. A. K. I was trying to figure out how they actually pronounce.

it. I can't read it. It's in... But Google's got that deal. I may have it. Can you hit play on it? They used to have... They had that deal where you could like... I can't hit play out.

Nope. There's not... I don't know. What language is you are you reading? It's either Greek or Aramaic. Is it Hebrew? It's going to have to be Hebrew if it was James. Well, no.

He ain't Greek. He's Jesus' brother. But I'm saying, it could be trained. It could be translated in the Greek. And then King James was like, I like that guy. We're going to make that name James. Yeah. That is what happened, isn't it? You think?

I'm related to King James. Well, we all are, aren't we? No. Wait, but I said, I said something. Why wouldn't we be? Because you were not all English. I said, hey, James. And I'll go back to the same two people.

What's what he say, Martin? No, I'm. Hold on. King James in my line, bro. We got about full. Yeah, hold on. Go ahead, Ty. Hey, I said James is an action book.

What did you say? I said it's Jimmy. Oh, he's Jimmy. And I tried to see how we should actually pronounce it because ain't no way his name was actually James. No, I like... What do you mean it ain't James? I love the book.

He's saying James, Jesus is brother. I'm just saying, but when Jesus was like, hey, he didn't say James, he said whatever it is in Hebrew. Because it comes... Oh, Jesus Protestant. Hey, bro, what's that? Not correct? Bro, bro.

I like that. Y'all know a lot more about the Bible than I do, but it, James is one of the first books written after Jesus, right? Like, it's one of the first books written in the New Testament. I don't know all that. Like, in a timeline fashion, it doesn't, it's obviously not one of the gospels,

but it's one of the first books written, uh, from a timeline perspective. Well, and he was a pillar. From a guy that saw it all. Yeah, he was a pillar of the literature.

Yeah. Of course he was. From a guy that saw. Oh, yeah. So I said he didn't call him James. He called him broke. Look at you, Martin. A little biblical scholar.

No. No, no, no, no. I'm impressed. No, no. Galatians was first. Yeah. Followed by James. Yeah, I knew it was one of the earlier ones.

And that's even before the Gospels. I really thrive in the little books. Those are my favorite. Well, no, no. The little books are, that's where I really kind of hang out. Hey, that's the old saying about, hey, you know, it comes in small packages. Yeah. Dynamite.

It don't take but just a drop in nachosling, and hey, boom. Close something up, baby. I really. Hey, little books are powerful. Yeah, I've spent more time in the little books than I have the big books. I got it. Oh. You got it.

Who? Yakov. Yaku's. That's how you say James. Yakuse. Apparently it's from Jacob. I don't know. Names are weird.

I got three of them. You got more than that on our responses on our Facebook page. You got a lot more than that. You know who talks about you. Ya kuf. That's what she said. That's what that person said. And that person could be wrong.

That's interesting. What an interesting. Why now? Y'all don't even have to tune in to unashamed. He got it right here. I was just shorted. Jay. Hey, Jay.

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It was messing with her confidence. So she started with postpartum. Now she's on women's daily for women under 45. I know she loves it. I know Alicia loves it when Phillips here. and Christine's on it, right? Yep. Start NutraFold today and make the hat optional.

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Well, because of the news. Oh, yeah. You got to get off the news. No, I've turned it off. Okay, okay. I'm serious. Hey, let's hear it for Safer, turn it off for a while. Hold on.

I really have. How long can you go, though? Well, how long's it being? Yeah, when did you turn it off? Because, boy, were you up to date before we started. Oh, I always. You were informing me of everything. He hasn't watched it this morning.

I always turn it back on just to see where they are. Hey, good news. Did you watch it? Did you watch the news this morning? morning? Uh, did you watch? Check it. Yeah.

Hey, because I'm off the news as of, it's 920 in the morning right now. Good news. When you get home, the first games of the college world series will be starting. So just watch baseball all weekend. Hey, there you go. Just watch college baseball all weekend. Get off of that stuff and watch college baseball. Well, no, I go.

Where people still make errors and it's highly entertaining. Well, no, because hey, here's where it go. I'll be at 205 watching Fox updates. 205. Oh, the channel number. Yeah, channel. Then I'll be over here watching a ballgame. Okay, the Dodgers are playing the Cardinal.

Dodgers. Don't watch Major League Baseball. That ain't October yet. Well, it's easy to reruns. What happened to Gunsmoke? He's seen them all. You know the problem of gun smoke. There's no new ones.

No, and he knows every episode. No, no, that is. Like a classic rock station. 99% of them. So then why, when I go to pick you up? You got 10 more minutes of gun smoke. You're like, hold on, hold on, hold on. Well, because I know it's the best part's coming up.

Because the pistol whip ain't happened yet. That's right. It ain't happened. It's just like Walker, Texas Ranger. Christine's like, Philip, he's not coming out until guns smokes over. And there's nothing better than watching somebody get just stomped. Okay. And watching somebody get stomped.

Yeah. Well, then you ought to love the news because people get stomp from there. He watches it. I was at the receiving end of the stomp. I never would. was the bad guy that could beat somebody up. You just took it all. I was the one that took it, yeah.

Did you start it? Uh, nope. Oh, I was just curious. Nope. So you dealt with bullies. Usually, though, when it happened that way, somebody else started it. Yeah.

Oh, I got a few good licks in. Because I was mad. Well, I will say. I've never been mad. When I was in elementary school, we had, I won't say his name, but we had a bully, and he was super,

tough. Now, I never seen him fight, but everybody was so scared of him. He had a good bluff in. He, I don't know. He had a pretty good right to, and I found that later. But a guy was like, you're new to the school. If you give me a dollar a week, I'll be your slack and take care of, you know, not let this guy mess with you. I was like, no, I grew up with brothers. I know how to fight. You know what I mean? So anyway, this guy came to me at lunch, the bully. He was like, hey, give me your money. I was like, no, you ain't getting nothing. And he punched me.

And I'm telling you, I lit into him, and I got the best of him. And then the teacher, kind of a big lady, was holding him down. He hit her. The big lady jumped on the bully? Yeah, he was still fighting, and I was away from him. So she was holding him like this. And he popped her, and he got expelled from school. Like, that was the last draw.

What? Did he do whoop him? What's he doing now? I'm not going to say. Can we find it? You don't have to tell his name, but can we find him on Facebook? I will say when I built our second house, he was doing the sheet rock. Open the day of ninth grade.

Oh, you got into it with a bully? Oh, yeah. Oh, that's the one. Yeah, we know that one, right? Yeah. We're sitting in the bleachers, seniors above us, seniors below us, pushing me in his fat boy on me. Oh, yeah, okay.

I remember this one. It became his best friend. He's stuck a puncher. All right, but he got his due because he hit, he swung and ducked. Well, he hit this head of mine and you heard like a 32 rival, pang out. He said, wait and wait, and I brought my thumb. I said, oh, I am going to whack out. He don't, he doesn't stretch.

I grabbed him, jumped on him, and he just was, they had to pull me off him. I won that one. Hey. Did he remember you when he was working on your sheet rope? Yes. Did he? You're the reason he got expected. spelled? I mean, I was the last straw, but I mean...

I guess in the end, he laughed. He hit you up for a dollar at school, and you ended up giving him a few grand for sheetrock. Hey, he wasn't in my school. That's probably true. He'll punch the teacher. Teach would have beat the living, you know, whatever. You can't do that no more, sign. There's cameras in all the rooms. Hey, back in the day, hey, you didn't slash the teacher or you're down. You get your butt kicked. It's nice to hear that you guys have stories on this because I was bullied a crap tonne until high school. Did you fight them? I was like 100 pounds and just super, super skinny.

Did you fight them? Not well. But you did fight. It did fight. Not always. I get full permission. Did your sister take up for you? No, she was part of the problem.

What? I knew it. You dad go twins, man. Man, dad. I can see it coming too. I had to talk about that. I come back when I said, I've been, you know, bullied by a bigger, bigger student. You know, and he said, he didn't say much, you know, just, he's just watching.

I come back in the next day and all that, yeah. He said, well, how to school? You know, I think one of those times, I said, well, I got a, you know, this kid's bothered me. He says, you're going to get tired of it. And I said, what? He said, you're going to get tired of it. he just keeps on, you know, beating you up every day he comes to school. You get that.

Well, he was right. I finally got tired of it. And hey, he could walk and walk it up to me. You know what I'm talking about? I hope he's dope. He, he, no, no. He said something smart, you know, like, hey, give me money or whatever, you know. Give me money.

That's not smart. That's just rude. You know, I just saw what happened. Well, no, no. I just telling him, I said, hey, you get it. When he stepped toward me, I'll get that sucker. me I'll get that sucker with everything. You told him to come and get it?

Oh, yeah. And he didn't you gave it to him? All right, he come and got it too. And hey, I put it on in bed to pull me off of him. Jaddy, what did your dad tell you about? Some bully was messing with you one time. He gave you a speech. Yeah.

Well, he just told me if he makes money tomorrow at school, skull drag him across the playground. That was after I kicked him at church. And then he ended up working at the honey hole for years. For you? I didn't have. For me for my dad. I didn't have any of the,

experiences really. I saw there was nine foot tall and seven grade. But I'm saying like, you was the big guy, you wasn't the bully, but you was the big guy.

No, but I said I didn't even see. I saw it one time where a guy took a, there were these two, they were twins. Oh, classic. Yeah,

and, but no, they had Down syndrome or something. So they always, they were George and Gordon, great guys. Like, I was,

I was friends with them. They, uh, they had their ball. And one, one pump come up there took their ball and threw it on the roof. And about seven people,

and I was headed that way, proceeded to beat the crap out of him. Oh, goodness. Good for them. Well, that's what I'm saying, for messing with George and Gordon. Like, you know, nah, no, no, no. Like, everybody knew George and Gordon.

They were cool, man. And so a bunch of high schoolers beat the crap. Good. Yeah, out of the kid that took the ball and threw it on the roof. I was like, uh-uh. I mean, we were all headed that way. Everybody from West Monroe High School football team was headed that way.

This guy would go get it. But seven of them got there first. Yeah. Didn't go get it. And nothing happened. Did West Monroe have a problem with thieves like these two? Not that I'm aware of. Like everybody just kept coming up to y'all stealing your lunch money?

I didn't know that was a real thing. It wasn't in high school. It was before the end. Before high school, people would just steal your lunch money. Well, yeah. I mean, look, mine never got stolen because, hey. You would fight them. I hopped on him.

He said y'all get off. I don't have any of it. stole. That's why you said come get it because you knew he wasn't going to get it. Go get it. He ain't going to find it. Yeah. I never had that. No, but I can see nobody wanting to bully Martin back in the day. I mean, but I said I didn't even witness. But my whole bully experience, there was just, my friends were making fun of me at church. And so I kicked one of them and then we got in trouble. But my dad said, well, if he's making fun of you, it's called to I mean, I got made fun of it.

It never bothered me because I was the husky kid, right? Like, you know, big head. It was the only time I ever got like in my feelings. Big head, big belly, but I was like, yeah, whatever. Check out my report card and compared to yours, you idiot. Like, that's bullying. Like, no, but in my mind, I was thinking like, you'll be working for me one day. It's not that big of a deal.

It's not that big of a deal. It's not. Look, I get married. You all have my kids. and then Christine turns into a bully. There you go. No, no. Chris, Scott's about six.

Okay, we moved to Fort Bragg and the next door neighbor has got, he's got two sons. One of them's like, you know, Scott's age, the other one's about two years older. Well, they're old and he's a bully. You know, and I told Scott,

because Scott has some issues he was stealing with, okay? And I told him, I said, you can't fight. Walk away from it. I said, if you fight, I'm going to whip the butt, you know. So he, he's got orders. He ain't, he can't fight.

He has to walk away. So he keeps walk away and this guy just keep, you know, and I'm sitting in the living room and watch TV with you and I see him doing it. So I walk out there and I said, the motherfucker of you coming in a minute. Yeah, and I said, Scott, you know what I've been telling you all your life? He said, about what?

I said, fight. He said, yes, sir, I know I can't fight. I said, well, hey, guess what? That rule just changed. You have my permission. That's the problem, though, eating healthy. As a person whose weight has been well documented to be a yo-yo of sorts, eating healthy is the most difficult part of it,

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They got cauliflower, asparagus, green beans. I mean, there's something there for everybody. All you got to do is head to factor mills.com slash duck 50 off and use code duck 50 off to get 50% off and a free gift per box with new subscription only while supplies last until September 27th, 2026. See website for details. That's factor.com slash duck 50 off code. Duck 50 off. And I said, kid, I want you to pay real stick to attention to this. I said, I said, he's like a guard dog.

a bad guard dog. A bad. And I said, I've had him on a chain leash. I said, I'm fixing to take the lease off. You should probably write a parenting book. No, no. And I told him, man, I said, Scott, after 18, let him smoke. I said, look at, look at, I said, Scott, look at dad.

I said, if he bothers you again and you don't kick his, you know what, I said, I'm fixing to kick yours. I asked the kid, I said, did you understand what? on to tell my son. I said, hey, I've taken the leash off, and I've actually said, told him, get him, boy. Take it

on. Sick him, dogs. Yeah. Well, hey, I'll walk back in, sit down in the recline of what. The kid don't listen. He started bob again, and son, hey, I had to go out there and yanked got off of him

because he was beating the living crap out of him. he's well he's okay i said yeah it's okay i said you you don't want to tell you and i said i doubt if he'll bother you ever bother you ever give no he didn't want anymore after that he didn't want no more no and i've always i mean i'm talking about a bully as long as you let him do it

he's go do it yeah and i taught my kids i don't want him fighting but i did say to defend yourself you know have you ever punched somebody hunter hunter right no you've never punched somebody No, I swung and missed. He missed. That's okay. I'm really nervous that I'm going to start making fun of Hunter and he's going to use this opportunity to punch me in the name.

Hey, J, D. Out. I swung. I swung missed. And then the next thing I know I was on the ground with an arm around my throat. That's not good. Is that your sister? No.

Hunter, if you're going to swing. His name was Zachary. Oh. Throwing out names. Them loops are still open. We got to close. We got to close them loops, bro. unfinished

Hunter, if I let you punch me, would you? No. In the back? I will let you punch me on camera right now. No. Oh, yeah. Oh, go ahead, punch you. Side does it all the time.

I don't need to punch anyone. Oh, man. It's a good feeling. Maybe somebody would take your place, Hunter. Let's find out online. No. There's definitely people lined up. All right, who will take the punch for Hunter?

So you said you haven't punched somebody if you punched the wall? Maybe. That crap urged on it. That was Scott. If it didn't hurt you, I know why you haven't punched somebody. I'm not an angry person. I don't think I've punched a wall. We had to redo a lot of walls.

Oh, he punched a hole in a wall? He punched a hole in the wall. Fun story about when we moved in this building. No, no, because he's getting mad. He's getting mad, okay. There was a hole in a wall here. There goes sheet rocks. Legend hazardous before Big Dave joined his Friday Night Anger group with the AR.

I don't know. Legend has it. I don't know. None of us can confirm. Nor deny. Yeah. Well, I will say that me and Bill Phillips and Kevin McIntosh and Big, I mean, Allen Robertson, were playing Spades. Now, W.E. At his trailer, at Allen's trailer before they moved and got out. That's the little blue house. And we got into it. The table turned over, and me and Big W.E. had it out, and we broke a lot of sheetrock.

Y'all got in a fight? At the card game. Over spades. Buddy, how much time have you spent around W.E.? Oh, it don't take long. Yeah, I mean, you and W.E. got a lot in common. Y'all get everybody else to fighting and then look up and y'all go on. Y'all get to run in that mouth. Y'all get to pop up and the next thing, you know, you hear meat popping

popping and then you look up and they're like, where did they go? That's why I had to mature out of church league softball. Guys, I'm going to have to, on judgment day, I'm going to have to report back to the Lord what I said and done. That's what of All of Robertson's trick. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I wasn't in it.

Oh, no. I was an instigator. Yeah, get everybody. Well, I can get a fight started and not be a part of it either. Yeah, 100%. Yeah. Yeah. Then everybody just comes to their sister to me and says, what happened?

Yeah, what happened? Yeah, I can see you in W.E. Oh, yeah. It didn't take long. Personality was. Oh, no. He's got a little, you know, if you poke the bear. Who, W.

Yeah. Well, that. And he's so abrasy. He's a very abrasive. Yeah, but I love him. Oh, I do too. I mean, I know you do. But me and I went to, we stopped by in Arkansas.

We ate dinner with him and Eli. Yeah. And we called up. Elijah. Oh, Lige. He liked to call him Lige. Yeah. But no, you know, and I'm not an angry person.

I'm not a fighter. I mean, I can, but I don't. But my brothers. they are just like, they're ready at any minute to go off. They can't take no smack. I know. You talk smack till you fix or get smacked. Yeah.

But I think from me working with kids for 30 years, I just think that it's helped me so much. Yeah, you can't. It teaches me patience. And going back to what you said, putting others before yourself, putting their needs above my needs, I feel like that that's helped me with my whole life, especially my anger. That's deep. Well, it actually makes your life your life better. I agree. If you stop saying everything's always me, me, me, me, me.

Yeah, that's right. Live a little bit and say, hey, what about you? What about you? Yeah. What about you? It's almost like it's one of the greatest commandments. Yeah. Yeah.

Love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself. But it's just like when Martin was thinking, you know what? this is wrong that what they're doing to these kids. I'm fixing to sit things right. There's something that clicks where you're just like putting somebody else above your own needs. Well, this is, this comes from Dr. Lee, our podcast we had with him. This is where all this is. I got you.

You can read it in that book right there. Hey. That stuck in space. That's a different book, the other book. Yeah, the other one. The left book. I think they probably end up bringing home the same message. Yeah.

Where am I? Hey, You're stuck in space. Where am I in this? You're stuck in space. That's what I'm saying. I got a feeling you ask yourself the same question. Thinking about Doc's book, though.

I'm reading it. Are you? Oh, yeah. You're talking about a hard read, especially when if you're reading it and trying to self-analize yourself while reading. Oh, it's not a hard read. It's a introspective. Well, no, yeah.

But it's a hard read because. Make you change your shirt, huh? Yeah. It just make, you know, you go. go so many different directions. Yeah, how often do you change your socks? We talked about that while ago. He leaves them on.

I let, I wear, you know, I think this is the third day with the bucky. On a shoe that I know makes your foot sweat. Huh? No. This time's uncomfortable. Hold on. But like, because it's a well-documented fact that I love socks, and if I ever win the lottery, one of the signs will be that I just throw socks away after one use.

And you're just, you're not even walking. Russian them? I got so many pair of them. So why not change them? Well, I do whenever I think about it. I don't even think about it. Did you take those socks off and then put them back on? Oh yeah.

100%. No, no, those are new. He laid up. He wore him yesterday, Philip. Yeah, but he never took them off. I took them off. You slept? I guarantee you. I sleep in my socks. Now you know why his wife's got him five. 500 pair. It's like I'll wear these for a while.

Well, that's better that, because once socks come off, they should not go back on. So it's better. Is it better? I bet when he finally does take his socks off, they're stuck in the mold of his foot. I bet it's like crusty, like you take it off and it still makes like an L shape. Yeah, I set it up on my table. So you slept in those socks last night? Yeah, I sleep in a sock.

Oh. I sleeps in his spot. Hey, we're like dogs. We all got quirks. And you got plenty of them. Have you always slept in socks? Yeah, you sleep in, is that a regular thing? You sleep in them?

They just too far away from you to take off. I sleep in them. And he's cold at night. I'm telling you. He's cold. Well, hey, look, I ain't got him fat. Mm-mm. Well, I do.

I'm getting more and more. a hot dog machine and no all that. Hey, I don't know why, but hey, I guess it's called it's age, but hey,

I get cold real easy. And my bed is the coldest thing in the world. Well, Christine can slide over next day you can keep that change. It's because you have

socks on. Christine usually go to bed about nine. Okay, I usually go in there like nine, you know, 30 or 10.

Burning a midnight oil. Yeah, I'm watching something. You know, Fox. First thing that happened is I slide my pillow next to her head. He's got to watch Gunnersville on Fox News. Slide to it and next thing go, just, you know, I'm hugging that woman to get warm.

And she said, she just, a lot of times she kicked me with my feet touching. She said, your feet are like ass. I said, I know this bed is cold. And that's through the socks. That's what socks on. Hey, the last time we and saw. I love socks, but I ain't wearing them in bed. This message is sponsored by Raycon.

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That's by Raycon.com slash duck open. Thanks Raycon for sponsoring our show. Last time we went to Springfield, you know, we shared a room and it was 81 degrees in the room. And Sae said, Philip, you're going to have to turn that air up. I'm freezing. At 81?

88. I said, sigh, it won't go up no higher. Oh, yeah, it will. Oh, yeah. I'm like. Yeah, well. I would have got seven minutes of sleep that night, maybe. I'd have left.

I'd have said, you know what, life's too short, and this hotel room ain't that expensive? I open up the door just to get some cool. Yeah, anytime you're letting 68-degree humid area and you know what's hot in there, it's like, go. I would have slept in the car. Oh, man. Sox to bed. That's interesting. What are some of your other quirks, side?

You got any other ones that we have? What else you were to bed? Just your underwear? Underwear and socks? No t-shirts, none of that. No, I wear a t-shirt, too. You go to bed ready. Because you bet like Winnie to food.

I said, we got to have a fire alarm. I'm coming out dressed, baby. Well, no, no, because we're not going to take a nap. You know, most people will get undressed. You'll get out and out of the wearing a slice. Take a nap? Oh, yeah. No, that's the one-time sleeping with clothes on is acceptable.

You fall asleep and you don't get. Yeah, but hey. But you take a nap in a bed. Most normal people don't get under the cover. Well, most of the one. of us don't go get into bed for a nap either it's like you just fall asleep wherever you are you lay on a couch and you know in the middle of the day putting on his sleep uniform he's going to get a nap which we just found out was socks underwear and a t-shirt the same t-shirt

you're like will you sleep in that tonight without your pants like no pay the only thing you're going to sleep in a poncho right those the i'm going to take off he's going to take off his shoes in his pant. You don't sleep in a fishing shirt? No, this is hype. I don't. That's a chair shirt now. I know it's a good shirt.

It's a nice shirt. It is in a comfortable shirt. You sleep in that? Nope. Take it off. Hang it up. It wringles. It wrinkles.

It's not sleeping it. So he's done it before. Okay. But that was a nap. When I was cold, I will go, I'll leave it on. We need to get you one of them giant, like, sleep shirts, like, that go down to your knees, like your little ear. He's got one looks like a tuxedo.

A moo-moo. No, what we need is one of them hats. No, I need to give me, I did. You know, them old school, like they want to be Santa Claus? No, no, I need to give me one of Willie's. Shirts. Pajamas. Oh, yeah.

With the, what? I don't think they fit, him. What's the thing with the horse with the horn on his? Unicorn? Unicorn? Yeah. I need to give me a pair of Willie's unicorn pajamas. Willie's got unicorn pajamas?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you didn't know that? He was, it ball time. What? It's like, y'all, it's like the cat with the blanket. Will he just prefers pajamas instead of a blanket? And I traveled a lot with him.

I never saw him in unicorn pajamas. I've slept in the same room as him many times. Is that true? Or is that a joke? I'm trying to figure out. This is the outfit we need for Si. I think that would make you the most comfortable. No chance.

The side screw. The front of that would be so yellow because he pees so much at night. I mean, there's no way to get out of it. How's my man going to take a leak? You at least got to have something with some britches for him. That's a good point. Yeah. He T.T's too much.

You can't pull it up. If he had a catheter, no problem. I'm not interested. But who wishes that on anybody? Who came up with that idea? I'm deranged human, I guess. I don't know. It seems like there's a easier way to do that.

Apparently, a catheter won't work on side because when he's been in the hospital having his surgeries or whatever he's having, he fills up several of those big things. I mean, yeah, he just fills them up. And the nurses got so sick of pouring them out, they were like, hey, can you pour that out when you get a chance? Yeah, I got to go take care of. You poured it out? I poured out a bunch of them. And so I said, so I slow down on the tea. he was like, no son, go get me some more ice.

Right. Fill it up again. Run it back. Then I'd fill it up again. Oh, that's magical. He's got great kidneys. He does. I don't know where we go from here.

I don't even know how we got here. That's a great point. Got any good emails? No, we've filmed too much this week. There's no emails. There's no emails? What? I mean, we've burned through them all.

Oh, okay. We're on a Friday morning. talking about size somehow we went from bullies to pajamas size socks is how we got there it's all about size socks well I had no idea he slept and all that hey that's interesting I got a good one actually an email came through

last night twice and it's a very good one that I think we can spend a lot of time on Eric from easily South Carolina that's Kakarack Good country. That is. That's nice country. He did say, by the way,

Bojangles is better than Popeyes. On the way here, I thought I was going to see you in the Bojangles line getting a biscuit. I was tempted, but I'm on it. I'm trying to lose late again.

They're chicken biscuits lying. No, a chicken biscuit ain't much. That steak biscuit. Did you get the egg on it? Chicken egg and cheese? Yeah, you get both, you get premature chicken and grown chicken.

A future bird and a real bird? Yeah. All in one biscuit. Yeah. They look at each other kind of weird, but they go together. Baby bird biscuit. Is there cheese? Let's wrap this up.

Okay, I know where I'm going after. No, I can't eat a biscuit. I'll throw the biscuit away and just eat the chicken in a bag. Bojangles is not better than Popeyes, sir. Bring me the biscuit. First off, Eric. But Bojangles biscuits and them hash browns are good too. I'm converting over to a breakfast, Bojangles, man.

Anyway, Eric. Potatoes. He's, no, they're bow rounds. Bow round. Bo round. Bough round. Why is fast food so good? Breakfast fast food.

Why does it make me so round? Gotta go jog or something. Anyway. It's getting harder because I'm getting heavier. Eric is 20. He's going to have a baby boy in August. And he just wants to hear some advice for a first time, dad, what not to do, what to do and expect.

Wow. Advice for first time dads, you should read James. Yep. Jimmy's a good place to start. Because you're going to get to about verse 2 where it says consider it pure joy. Yeah. When you face trials, many times. When you take that kid home, trials are coming.

Yes. No, it's, I mean, kids are great. Your life has just turned into a first six or eight months. It was all for the woman. But help. your woman, ma'am. What were you saying? Do whatever that is.

I was telling him how that his life has just turned into a three ring Barnum and Bale's Circus. Barnum and Baleigh. It will never be the same. It's a great movie.

The greatest show. But you have some interesting times coming ahead of you. Yeah. What about you, Phil? It's a lot. Now, I would say,

you know, help your wife and love her through it. And then look, be the guy that changes the diapers and runs to the store and gets whatever is needed. Some of my friends, when we were younger and started having, you know, children, they wouldn't do that, you know. They didn't know how their parents didn't teach them.

They didn't have a role model. But help out as much as you can, be there for your wife and for the baby. And just have fun and enjoy it. You know, you're going to make mistakes, but you're going to be fine. Yeah, none of them. us know what we're doing.

No. That's the true. Things we suck at. Parents are marriage. You've never been either. You know, one of them deals. But no,

it's fun, man. But yeah, just support your wife because the first six, eight months, and a whole lot of dad can do, man.

Other than support. You're on the edge of a grand adventure. Yeah. Support. I say support. So if she breastfeed, wash all the stuff,

Like, just, you know, whatever. Do the dishes. There's a bunch to do. Oh, that's the easy. If she does, she's going to need to eat all the time. So learn how to cook if you buy it already. I will give your wife for you some advice on that. Rest feed is in.

What? Because, hey, formula. Formular. Trows up. Bad, bad odor. Rest feeding. No older. I thought this was going to be like a science thing.

I thought he done went down the RFK road. Yeah, it was going to be like your kid on the. not be as smart. Not only that. It's just like, nah, them formula babies stink. The baby breastfeeds, he gets all the moms. Good stuff. There you go.

I'm serious. I know, you're right. Also, all the, no pressure. We had a guy that used to work here said it makes great mac and cheese. I just know, I just know this. It's 100% true. Am I lying? He's not lying.

That guy also hangs tree stands way too high. I just know this. my liking. The odor between breast milk and formula. Hey, please breastfeed. I'm out, dude. I was like, the odor

is the atrocious. Dang. Good grief. Look, back in the day, Duck Commander was growing. Duck Dynasty was going on. The problem with that came with communication, right? Like, we had phone calls, emails, everything going in and out. We missed so much, but we learned a lot.

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Just 10 times I'm bad older. Okay. He is sung up on the smell. When was the last time a formula baby puked around you to make you remember this so strongly? Hey, they've done it quite often. You didn't change diapers, though, did you? No, can't. Oh, yeah.

What a bunch of. No, no. No, that's right. No. No. This is, this is do as I say, not as I do here. No, no. This is one of them things like it.

Okay. Do you do any part? plumbing, Mr. Robertson? No. Why not? Because I would take a simple thing as change it out a trap underneath the sink. What? And say, hey, let's say they charge $100.

If I did it, it cost me $100,000, maybe $1,000. To change out a P-Trap? I'm going to break something. I'm going to tear something up. That's like the baby. If the baby needs a diaper change. buddy pea traps now are PVC with little handles on them they're the easiest thing ever to change that

so if you what's going to happen if you change a diaper I'm gonna throw up on the baby oh yeah never mind and he's been on formula see so it's gonna stink he's not on breast milk anymore he clearly was not breastfed as a child Phil Robertson could do any of anything with like when the dog poops in the boat

and all that he's just it ain't no big deal well hey What a... What a... Pooops. I'm old side of the boat, puking. For dog crap? Yeah.

Is that why you were a cat guy? All right. All right. Well, I just... Hey, yo. It's stink. Anything that stinks? No, I can't handle it.

Nope. How many diapers have you changed in your life, legitimately? Zero. Never... But, so then how do you know? Hey, because I puked on one before. So you tried to change one. Oh, I tried to.

Try it. He attempted. And then, hey, me and it, baby. you're covered with my vomit plus his poop. Ugh. So, no, I don't do it. I attempted it once, and it was a disaster. So I'm glad you know what you can and can't do.

Well, no, no. I'm not Clint Eastwood. Man's got to know his limitation. There you go. Well, I start something that you know the outcome. I knew that when you pull up to the house and say, hey, man, you need to go up to the hospital. Christine's in the emergency room.

I can't do it. I was like, okay. Eric, you have to change diapers. Yeah, it's not that. Don't listen to side, ain't that big of it? Even if you got, look, I had a method. I would wrap my face on the bad ones in a T-shirt. Oh, we got these things sent to it.

No, on the bad ones now, they got these things. The guy sent these things to me called a dad nose. So it looks like the little clown nose, but it's, uh, it's simple. Okay, no, see, I'd rather, I'd rather call all the bullies from the first part of this show to beat me up. front of the world before I ended up looking like this goober. Like me? I can put that on. Yeah, on the on the toughies.

Yeah, on like stuff. What does it look like, J.D? It's just a clown nose that's sinned. You put it all, you can't smell nothing. Gas masks. You know what the only thing it was that would happen? I mean, look at this guy. Look at him.

I would puk in the gas mask. Smells great. I didn't use it on all of them, but there were some that needed it. Look at this guy. I'm just telling you. it works there you go sir neither coffee whatever you need man

i don't know what happened it'd be burgers and snot and everything in that that is true he does hack a lot hey i'm serious just the thought of doing it no i almost wish one of us would have another baby

just to bring in here and change the diaper next to side it has to be one of y'all That ain't me. That ain't me. I mean, Hunter. Hunter! We need you to have a baby. Hunter, we need you.

Have y'all seen the commercial with the little kids? Mom's got him on their chest and one of them little carriers. And he's sitting there with he's got normal expression. Then you hear, you know, and then he has a big smile. Ain't me too, right? I mean, what is that a kid for? What is that a commercial for? I guess a diaper.

just pooped in his diaper and in these smiles. But is it like an insurance? No, baby formula. Yeah, them mom and dad go. Hmm. Yeah, I mean, his name's Eric. Eric.

Hey, look, I agree. You probably want to not listen to the last five minutes of this. Hey, look, I agree with Philip, okay? You should help your wife with the baby any way you can. Yeah, support, man. Change diapers. wash dishes, cook. If she does breastfeed, you got to cook a lot.

Unless, you're like, me, don't make it worse. Just bow out and say, darling, I'm sorry, I can't do this. I'll do the dishes. I'll do something else, but I can't do this. Yeah, I'll cook, I'll clean, I'll do something. I like a good way to hear that same answer in about four months. Uh-huh. Sorry, honey, I can't do this.

You're going to have to go somewhere else. Sorry, honey. Eric, you can do it. You can do it. It's not bad, but the first six or eight months as a dad are pretty boring, just to be fair for me. It was for me. It was all mom center.

I was just, I was like a housemaid almost. Which was fine. I did all the nighttime stuff because, like, I can wake up, do it, go right back sleep. Brittany, when she wakes up, she's up. So me, I just like roll over. Hey, what y'all?

Oh, you hungry? Cool. To give them a bottle, go back sleep. Like, wasn't that big. You get one of them feeding tubes and you can just feed them all night. Yeah, you can't worry about it feeds itself, huh? Do some math on Carter. They, we don't ever look.

And he ate till 8 a.m. We don't ever look at this. That's why mom is mom. Mom does so many things that we just overlook. And, you know, and it's just part of her routine. And, hey, and she doesn't even think about doing it, okay? It's just automatic. Oh, ain't no doubt.

yeah they better at it than we are well no no because that's you know that's why mom's mom's mom mm-hmm that's why I'm a mama's boy hey I'm one me too hey I am proud of it hey you are too I've been texting my mom all morning

I have a chance charge oh oh that's funny anyway Eric yeah that's pretty good advice you'll be all right yeah I I I don't know why

I was going into it like when your kids are seven and eight I guess that's because that's where I'm at. That's where you, yeah, that's your stage. Like right now being a dad is awesome. Is there three almost four? And they want to, if I'm home, it's like, let's go do this, Daddy. You bet you, buddy.

No, no, because that's what I would fix the message to the 20 year old. Okay. It's a lot of new stuff happening in your life, but you'll look back on it. And when you do, you'll be glad that you, you did have kids. Oh, 100%. Oh, that's, uh, and you start an early, dog.

How old is it? That's the jewel of your life beginning there. Martin? Oh, if I'd have had a kid at 20. Well, right now they'd be 20. See, that's, that's what's wild. Like that's, oh, they can grow up and you go up quick. Hey, look.

What's crazy? Them two you got, let me out of here before you know it. they'll go by oh yeah how old was I days are long how old am I days are long

years are short yeah when Carter's 20 I'll be what's 37 plus 8 I'm better at math 40 I'll only be 45 so I guess I was 25 when we had Carter

that's wild there you go because I felt like I had a child when I was a child and this dude's five years younger than me yeah you got this man

I'll be 57 Surround yourself with some good people. Well, it's kind of like a child's having a child. Well, we're all child. That happens a lot. We're all children. There's a lot of grandparents raising babies too. That's what they don't want to mess with.

What? Your grandparents. Let them have the kids. Let them spoil them. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm serious. Oh, I'm going to.

They will get. My kids love Granny way more than they love Mom and Dad right now. No, no, because they will get more life experiences and more wisdom from your grandmother and grandfather. That's right. Every day I catch. They're not going to find what my grandmom and granddad give them. They're not going to find it anywhere else. Every day I catch shade about how Granny's cucumbers look better than mine.

Every day. Granny's cucumbers are big. Years are little. I'm like, quit, you little punk. I know she's better at gardening than I am. Yeah, I know it punk. Yeah, quit, you little punk. I know she's better at growing plants than I am,

but that's all right. These will be all right. We're going to eat them. Of course, I ain't going to eat them. They say they will, and they don't. But anyway. Anyway, I'm going to leave Eric with the Bible first. Are we going for the Jimmy?

Are we getting into Jimmy? We're just going to be right there at the beginning of James. Jimmy one. Yeah, James one, verse four. I think this is actually great advice for a first-time dad. Let perseverance. Finish its work. Finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

That verse to me says what it takes to be mature and complete as a dad, not lacking anything, is perseverance. There you go. So it's going to take a while, but you got this, Eric. And then the words of patience. And the words of chief. Dan George from Josie Wells, endeavor to persevere. Reservience. I wish that was on video.

Endeavour to persevere. Receive. We'll see y'all next time. Right here. Enjoyed it. They call us civilized.