Duck Call Room - Uncle Si Reads His Funniest Email Yet

Episode Date: August 31, 2023

Uncle Si takes a trip down memory lane with some of his old favorite movies like "Jeremiah Johnson'' and "Blazing Saddles.” John-David asks for parenting advice from Si specifically on how to keep his kids from running around in their underwear ... until he realizes he asked the wrong person. Martin and Godwin are cracking up at one of their funniest emails yet from a fan who writes like Mark Twain but is understandably struggling with his dating life. Si is blown away by a photo from a fan who met him at 6 months old and again when he was all grown up. Martin is excited to announce that he’s inviting new guests on the podcast, but needs your help convincing them to join the show! -- Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You ready, Johnny Speezza? I think that's what Hunter's wearing over there. All right, welcome back. We're back in the duck call room. Welcome back. That's a duck dummy. Good to have you folks here. Welcome back.

You know what's cool? What's cool, Martin? And less than a month. The movie comes out. The blind premieres in less than a month now. Oh, we should tear down the fourth wall. What? In exactly a month.

In exactly a month. It's August 28th, everybody. But it comes out September 28th, but you know what? Here's the deal. Let's just cut to the chase, Martin. That's right after T.O. season. It is right after T'll season, but we need you to go buy your tickets right now. Today.

While you're listening to this, pause it, whenever you get to, if you're driving, when you get to where you're going, go buy your tickets. Yeah, buy your tickets because that's how they book theaters based on for independent films. Like people that pre-order their tickets, then if you're going, if you get to, if you're driving, then if you're driving, you're going to go buy your tickets. their tickets, then if there's, when they reach a certain amount, then it gets another theater show and gets another this, another that. Because everything, as we know, is controlled by Hollywood, right? Yep. And they're starting to, the blind's not making it in some theaters because they're looking at

pre-orders and it's like, eh, let's just throw, you know, all those big, terrible movies in over and over and over again because they might make a little more money. So here's the deal. If you have a group that's wanting to go see it, go get, go ahead and pre-order your tickets, make a party out of it and go see. It's an awesome movie. Yeah, well, and it looks. Look, it is the one time you'll, in fact, be able to go observe Johnny D on film silent.

Except in a ZZ top montage. Coolest part of the thing. Yeah, I had no lines. Yeah, he says nothing. But, you know, whenever all of a sudden that, you're about to see your boy doing a little duck hunting. Yeah. All right? Go buy your tickets because, seriously, not anything to do with me, but we're trying to spread the gospel of Jesus Christ here.

they've put a lot of hard work into this movie it is going to be a real big deal and it will be an even bigger deal if our fans and listeners get behind it and pre-order your tickets and I know that's kind of weird to do it's a month away but it'll be worth it I promise you plan a date night plan a group night if you have a small group at your church

everybody get on board somebody buy the ticket split up the money go get you some popcorn and see an incredible movie please do that for us yeah and all you have to do is go to the blind movie dot com right now get your tickets a day look and there's also the chance that you may get to watch it with the robertson family so that's kind of cool i mean i'm around them all the time so i'll be glad to get rid of them i'd love to send them are we doing that again oh they're going to your movie yeah they'll come watch the movie with you at your local theater opening weekend but you have to go

the blind movie dot com this week for the details so i'm gonna ask what which robertson is it we don't know all of them all i don't believe maybe all a selection of some but i bet that man to your Phil's going to go to a Strange Towns movie theater. I'm getting a head nod for that. Allegedly. But it is a great movie with a really cool montage in the middle of it, but more importantly, a fantastic message. And there's a really beautiful Mallor Drake that gets shot with like a 28 gauge.

Now, you're going to think it's a different gun. And it folds. Maybe I did that. Maybe he did that. That's my one claim to fame in the whole movie. Maybe he did it. It was my Mallor Drake. That duck did look so perfect and then it went out.

yep there it is and he was banded how cool is that that is that way and a band you know otherwise people are going to keep driving to austin and stuff to see like other weird movies so book your tickets today yeah i'm actually super mad at hunter right now why are you mad at hunter this weekend what do you we're talking about movies right hunter do you mind if i tell this story uh go for it yeah this is why you want to date hunter so he texts me on was that saturday yeah saturday hunter text me he's like dude guess what at the movie theater it's the 30 year anniversary of Jurassic Park it was awesome you should take your kids and I was like oh man that's really cool that's a great idea Hunter and I'm thinking and then like 30 minutes later hunter text me he's like oh my bad that was just today and so he gives me this great idea and then basically says you got 15 minutes to get to the movie theater and so I was like man hunter thanks for getting me excited and then just dashing all my hopes and dreams one day it was for one day No, I didn't go.

I had 12 minutes. My kids were eating spaghetti. Well, you could have seen the credits. That's a good point. Well, I've seen the movie before. And it was in 3D. 3D doesn't really do. 3D credits.

So did you have to wear those glasses? I did. It was actually not as bad as I thought because normally I don't like watching movies in 3D. Why do they have different colored lenses on them? I don't know that they do that anymore. That was more like back in the TGIF days when you had to go to Wendy's and get your 3D glasses and then watch like NBC on. Friday nights. Wow, that was a blast

from the past. Wow. I think that was right. Johnny D. Go ahead. I didn't forget about that. I was a 90s kid. That little part of my life. So what are you licking yourself for? I got dry skin here, boys. So the only moisture you got is alive. I think I'll just lick my arm right quick.

My dog goes out. I say it's because the old age. What's that? Cal. Oh, you're like a stud. Snake, once you get old, you start shedding. Are you molting? He's molting. I'm molting, boy.

So to keep from doing that, you just look yourself. Yeah, there you go. Well, hey, I think I should put some of that bite me on me. That way, maybe a wooded itch. Hey, there you go. Rub it down, sir. Then somebody may bite you. Hey, hey, hey, hey, Hunter, I forgive you.

Let me give my knife, Freddy. It was a baby. It was a baby. Well, that got off subject, call us. Yeah, we're all over the place. I need to forgive, Hunter, for putting. me on that roller coaster of emotions though you're forgiven but next time like tell me before you go i'll go with you hey it didn't have it shown on sunday but it was also playing sunday and it

it didn't show on saturday when i look you're the movie expert i looked before texting you and it didn't show it didn't show on saturday but it played on sunday beth is grabbing the yeah there we go because he did that to me last week he texted me all of a sudden a screenshot and he was like the blind is already in theaters and it was like, no. And he goes, oh, I'm looking at the wrong date. Yeah, you're looking at the wrong date. Hunter has an epidemic of just telling people wrong movie time. I'm starting to realize why his dating life is in Shamb.

Yeah, because he tells him the wrong day. Like, hey, you want to go see Barbie and Oppenheimer in Austin? They drive halfway across the country. They get there and he's like, that's tomorrow. There's more truth than that than you understand. It's all beginning to make sense. I love you, Hunter. I went to see Barbie.

In Austin, Texas. because it didn't play here. What does that do for you, Gawain? It's a movie buff like yourself. Gobwin arguably goes and sees as many movies as Hunter. Garwin's a movie, man. Oh, he is. Not Barbie.

Greatest movie all the time, go. Gladiator, I was trying to say this. No, he's Jeremiah Johnson. Thinking about that, that was on TV the other day. It was on yesterday. Yesterday, I just watched it. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Robert Redford. Yeah. Jeremiah Johnson. Fine figure of a man. Some of them says, hey, he's still up there. That's all you need to know. He says he's dead. And some of them says he never will be.

There it is. I think he's still on the mountain. Who, Jeremiah? Yeah. He's still up there, boys. He's still up there, you know, doing his thing. It's happening in Beaver. Have you ever seen the movie The Buffalo Rider?

No. Who started? I don't reckon. I might have, but I don't know. Nope. I don't think I have either. I need you to watch that, and then I need to know if the YouTube videos of the guy on the Buffalo do it justice. No.

Have you seen the guy on the Buffalo? I have. That's the greatest thing. That broke his gun on a stump. Yeah. Break your gun on a stump. You haven't seen, because you're the only person I know that would be like, ooh, a man riding a buffalo. I'm going to watch that whole thing.

That must be a new one. No, it's from 1978. Yeah, it probably made. 1978. It must not have been much because I... That's one of them... You don't... You don't hear much about the bad ones.

All right, well, I've always wondered. Western... Now, the YouTube videos... Must have been much because I had seen... Of the guy on the Buffalo, those are phenomenal. The literally probably the greatest YouTube videos ever made. Yeah, well... I remember a bungal riding the Buffalo.

Who is that? Huh? He said that sums you up right there. It does. Your uncle rode a buffalo? No, no. I said, I don't even know what it. Hey, Mongo rode to buffalo.

Did he ride a, or was it a bram or bull? Who's mom? It was a brimer bull. Yeah, and blazing sattles. Oh, I hadn't seen it. Me either. What? I haven't.

I haven't watched blazing shadows. Well, they had the bean sequence for about 15 minutes. Yeah, see, that doesn't sound like something I would enjoy. That's one of my top ten favorite movies. Blades entitled. Yeah. An interesting guy over here. It was a 15-minute scene of Cowboys letting off gas because it ate nothing but beans too long.

And it was 15 minutes of it? Is that right, Hunter? No, it ain't 15 minutes. Hunter says it's right. Unbelievable. But it's a good boy. It was a long time. And I thought people were crazy for,

watching us spit tobacco for that. No, no, no, no. It was that kind of deal. I think that's where they probably got it from. You think? Yeah. Oh, our creative inspiration has been revealed. Yeah, creative it came from a Western movie. Well, now, see, that doesn't surprise me. Yeah, Cowboys eat too many beans. Cowboys eating beans, so we're going to spit some up. That's right. That's right. Thanks, perfect sense. Well, on that, on that note, I got no idea. Let's take a break. Let's take a break. Go buy your tickets for the blind. We'll be back right after you. That's out. and see a real movie.

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I know in size case Christine loves it, which is just a, she doesn't eat meat. She isn't a big meat easier, folks. Yeah. Just go to trybeef.com slash. That's trybeef.com slash support ranch families and eat some dang good steak. It's just a bunch of Barton? I'm currently trying to teach my kids that farting isn't funny

well that's a lot I don't want to you farting is very funny I get that it's funny but like we can't just camp out there oh wow okay oh that one had a little hair

on you got and you're trying to teach your kids fart that's funny you got a bit that's funny look look you got a bit

That's funny. That is a weird movie. Yeah, I've seen parts of blazing saddles. I've just never watched it all the way through. That was just a bunch of ripping two. That was Mongo right there. Okay. It lit his cigar just sticking his face in the flame.

Yeah. Mongo tub. Oh, mongo's tub, buddy. Hmm. Well, we just spent that break watching people rip them from beans. That's it. Too many beans, boys. Lots of beans. So your parenting hack Johnny De is to teach your kids that farting isn't funny?

No. I disagree with that. See, okay. So in the break, we watched that. Side nearly, he farted himself while, because he was laughing so hard at the fart jokes from that movie. I think the more important lesson to teach your kids about farting is you can't trust them. Yeah. Not that they're not funny because they're hilarious.

But once every joke becomes a fart joke, like we have to change direction. And be careful of the SBD. That's right. Solid but deadly. There you go. But I'm, yeah, I'm on a, I haven't made a lot of. What's their favorite fart joke? Ben's favorite fart joke is to, because he's small and he's shifty.

And his favorite thing to do is sneak up on you, rear end right beside the face. And he's sneaky. Rip one and run. Yeah, and he's sneaky. Oh, these aren't jokes. This is. Oh, there's plenty of jokes. These are driving by.

Yeah, this is. Frank. Oh, no, it's not a job. This is a hit and run. You can't sit anywhere in our house because he can, like, hang from anything. Like, he will jump up, climb up behind the couch. You're sitting on the couch and all of a sudden, and then he's gone. And so I'm trying to teach him like, there are other ways to be funny.

But they're just really camping out in the I'm seven and I'm nine and we're going to make fart jokes all until we fall asleep at night. Man, I'm so looking forward to those days. Look, he's not. This is going to be. He's not laughing because of what's happening to him. But they're laughing. They had to learn it from somewhere.

Well, I mean. So where did they learn it? Yeah. I mean, have I ever held one of them down and said, I'm going to get you back? See? But now we've gone too far. Yeah. Now that they're pulling the tricks on you, that's the deal.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. That's the deal. What I'm hearing is a sore loser. No, no. I have a... Oh, hey, what I hear, what goes around comes back.

Yeah. Yeah, he ain't all about that comeback. Yeah, he ain't about coming back. I have got him a couple really good times. I'm like, you keep doing this. And I've been like, hey, look, you want to play this game? You can keep playing it. Because, I mean, surely you still get Allison, like in the bed.

No. That's not one that she ever found funny at all. There's plenty of things that she finds funny. That one's not. That's not a good one for it. That's like, no, we're not laughing. We're not mad, butt laughing. We're just mad.

Yeah. This isn't fun. So I think that's when it transferred over to the boys. And now that's all they do is run around with their rear ends out, farting on people. And it's terrible. And I wish I could say I didn't do that to Brittany. But buddy, I still let her reel. Pull that cover up over.

Oh, I like to just turn. Turn and laugh. Let her all release at once and then get it. out of the way. Did you just fart on me? Let one of them SPDs one. It's true, she don't ask because she knows. She just says, oh, not again.

And then, you know. We have a very gassy family. Oh, everybody does, right? You still get Paula with it? All the time. Yeah. That's what I was all this time. So I do have a question, because you were naked for a long time growing up.

At what point did you start wearing clothes? Because my seven-year-old, well, he's against them. I had to when I started at school. But like when you got home, did you leave your clothes on? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

You took them immediately off. Oh, yeah. And when you were naked, did you leave your underwear on or was you naked, naked? No, I'm naked, naked. Okay, we don't have that problem. So he leaves his drawers on. I was running wild and free. Oh, okay. I mean, I guarantee the past three Sundays.

I mean, it's been his whole life, but we will get out of the car, getting them from church. He will be inside, close. clothes everywhere sitting in his underwear before the door even gets closed. And I'm like, why can't we wear clothes? And he's like, yeah, boy, it's always naked. But in underwear. They're restrictive. Yeah, they're restrictive.

Clothes? They're restrictive. So you don't just lounge around the house in your drawer sometime? Really? Oh, there's a minute of time. Hey, there's a. Oh, you still don't wear clothes? Hey, hey, wait.

Wait, now I'll open the door in a minute. Yeah. Give me a second. Yeah, give me a second. I got to put your pants on. I'll still lounge around the house in my drool. I think, yeah. You had a sister, though.

See, I was raised around a bunch of boys. I just had a brother, paper mill family. Yeah, your parents probably held a little bit stronger regard because of the... I've worn clothes pretty much my whole life. Man, that's wild. I'd have never thought that from you as a lot of socialized, JD. The boxers look like to short-legged breeches anyway. Mm-hmm.

I got a couple of pair. put on every night. Yeah, a goblin lounge in his drawer. I've walked in there. Ain't no problem. Then I had a buddy one time and said, don't come in here. I'm naked and I went in there anyway thinking he was bluffing.

He was actually naked. He was actually naked. Yeah, I said, well, his news is you don't lie. That's always a plus. Yeah. But, yeah, no, I mean, I was sleep in my drawers. Yeah, but you don't just lounge? No.

Really. Why? Okay, somebody comes to me. Oh, boy, what just happened there? I don't know. I'm not one to get unexpected visits. There's a little bitty baby. There you go.

Look, that's within 30 seconds of getting in our house. That's him. Well, good for him. And he had buttons on that shirt so he couldn't even get them off. And he's stuck. He's screaming. Out of another way. Well, good for him.

And I always wait. I just want to know at what point do we leave our clothes on. I do find it funny that the first thing off is the shirt, not the shoes. No, first thing's shirt. The shoes oftentimes make it longer than the pants. Oh, yeah. That's the last thing you take off. Is the shoes?

Yeah. Really? Yeah, how did you get the clothes off? That's the first thing I kick off when I go through the door to the house. Kick off my shoes. Yeah. Gobind don't even make it in the office with his office. No, I don't even know where they're at now.

Yeah, see, he's barefoot right now. Where are they? I ain't seen them. You really don't know where your shoes are? I actually miss being barefoot. I know where shoes are. They're over there. I actually miss going barefooted because, hey, now if I had to,

if something happens, I've got to take shoes off, we've got to walk. Yeah. Feet way too tender. Oh, I'm tender-footed as easy. Yeah. Yeah. I can't walk on the gravel road no more. Hey, you can throw a bottle down and bust it, and I can walk on it and don't even worry about it.

Why would you do such a thing? Well, I'm just saying, hey, that's how tough my feet were. And also, they were by and they're black. I tell you what, though, the weather. They wasn't dirty. I can tell you why Ben's getting naked. As hot as this been around here? Oh, yeah.

It's too hot for clothing. We're like that commercial where the people are melting until they get an ice cold Coca-Cola or whatever. That's where we've been. We're fresh out of Coca. Yeah. I looked at it that we've hit 24 days in August of over 100. That's new, isn't it? There ain't but 31.

No. I don't never recollect it. You think this is normal? No, no, it was that hot. You're older, it hits you better. You're just a sissy. For this long, no? Oh, no.

Well, no. Well, no, I will say one thing. It used to be this hot, but when it got this hot, it always come up a shower. Yeah, it rains every evening. I'm serious. It used to rain when it was just hot in the summertime. You could depend on how it comes to the rain.

Yeah, somewhere it got a rain. It would kind of hodge around and eventually it'd be your turn. Well, you know it's hot when Louisiana gets wildfires. Yeah. Well, no, no, because it's just, you know, oh, thinking of that, what was, what plant blew up or something in Louisiana? Refinery. Huh? Refinery.

Refinery? I didn't know that. Okay. I heard it. I heard it, and it was off the news. It was, what do you call it, where they told it? What do you call it? Stockpile.

Okay, stockpile. So our gas price. But it's under, they got it under control now. Okay. Yeah. We had fires in southwest Louisiana last week, or was that, that was like, that's where that refinery was. There's some below, below Toledo Bay in Maryville.

They, here's the difference in the weather now. Vacuated that, mandatory. Marathon blew up. Here's the difference in the weather today. Back when I was a child in high school growing up, like I said, in the summertime, it got hot, but it always come up a shower in the evening.

And then when it hit September, you had to wear a jacket. Yeah, it was cold at night. You always had to wear put on a jacket in September. Well, buddy, looking at the long-term forecast. It's not. No, no, no, because it takes usually, what, October going into November. Generally, November.

Like, last week of October, you can count on a pretty cool little snap. Yeah, little snap. It'll warm right back up again, but not like, it'll at least be gone. Like, what we got now. It used to every year it would get cooler in September. Yeah. And then you started, you wore a coat from then on. And I do have a thing against weather complainers.

Like we all go outside. You don't have to tell me that it's hot outside. But everybody's got a pass right now. It's not even annoying. We all just need to talk about how hot it is and how long it's been that hot. Electric bills high, hot, hungry, air conditioner's going out and you're ugly. Let's take another break. We'll be back right after this.

I almost want to read this guy's entire email. Go ahead. How long is it? Very. Because he fancies himself as Mark Twain. Mark Twain. I don't know if we got that kind of. No, we don't.

Mark Twain. I mean, I've read Huck Finn, Tom Sawyer. Yeah. I'm just going to read. Are we going into emails now? You can, yeah. Why not? Hello.net.com.

I think, Josh. Do you think, what you're talking about, rain? Do you think fish gets wet when it rains? Yes. They get under a log. No, they don't get wet. They get under a log, boy. They don't get a log.

And this guy asked me, he said, my daughter asked me this. He said, maybe you know the answer. Does fish think they're fish? We know we're humans. Oh, they know their fish. They know if they get too far away from that log, that's all of it for them. That's right, as it was. Or a chatterbake comes by.

Yep. Oh, that salt pepper jig goes on. Yeah. I like it. A little, them crappy man. So what's the guy? Okay. What's going on in the email?

I think we got to discuss this guy's email. Go ahead. It is entirely too long. Oh, big grief. The title of it is, love on the line. Okay. but I'm going to read you... On the line.

Hold on. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, sixteen, paragraphs. Let's say how good a reader you are. Okay, but like... Can you persuade me? Here's the first paragraph. Howdy there, y'all.

Names Josh. Hail from the heart of Flatwoods, West Virginia. Smack dab in the middle of this great old state. I reckon I'm just a 16-year-old buckaroo and needed some real quick advice, and I mean quick as a rabbit on a sugar rush, so I'm hollering at y'all for a hand. I can't read this. I want to so bad. But it's like Huckleberry Finn or something's writing this book.

And I don't, I didn't know people typed like this. I thought for sure you talk like this. Yeah. But do people type like this? Oh, no, no, no. That's West Virginia. Yeah. That's West Virginia.

To a cheek. You get a lot of emails from me? No. I got a best friend that lives in West Virginia. Do you? And it's West Virginia by God. God, okay. West by God, Virginia. Yeah. West Virginia by God.

Yeah. Huh. Anyways, he crossed past darned tier two years back with his fine girl online. Let me tell you, she's pretty as a sunset over a holler. Sunset over a lot. They got to a chat and she's from the land of Massachusetts. No, she's just from Massachusetts. Oh, land of Massachusetts. She lives there.

Is that what I'm doing wrong? I'm just not talking like that. Well, there's land. Yeah. It's land. it's lamb now don't be fretting she ain't no so i can't read this whole thing and i don't know what the problem is because it's too long did he say don't be fretting now you no no no now don't y'all be fretting she ain't no city slick or liberal no serree she's got more energy than a pack of hound dogs on a

squirrel chase but she's got the quiet side too like a calm creek on a summer day she's a spunky firecrouter cur loud as a hoot and too now and quiet as a mouse sneaking through a cornfield sweet as a slice of homemade power remind me a little Debbie snack cakes. I tell you what, I had a hanker in to make her mind right when she was school ramping up like a bull at the rodeo and I was supposed to ask her be my one and only. Like this dude is Mark Twain meets Tolkien

and he's sending me the Lord of the Rings from West Virginia. This sounds just like in books I read my boys. Yeah. And they're 10 months. Root and holler, Cowboys, Small, flip them all. Josh, I think the first thing you need to do is not worry about this girl and go right. books because this is fantastic.

He could write children's book. It's got the right rhymes. Now, they don't need to be 16 paragraphs long as a parent who has to read them at bedtime. You can make them shorter. A way and we meet this gal. A couple years ago, she's from the land

of Massachusetts. And he ain't. And he ain't tootin. He ain't talked to her yet. No, they met online. Yeah. Yeah. She must be a.

And then they broke up, I think. Uh-oh. They gone. Because you couldn't get a word in edgewise? That's the problem. No communication. I tell you, I'm caught between waiting out like a cold rattler moving on, which is about as likely as a chicken laying square eggs.

I'm like a calf rope to a fence stuck and struggling. I'm hanging on to a hope tighter than a tick on a hound. Guess what I'm learning, though, is that the man upstairs had this whole dang rodeo under control. I've been trying to ride herd on it like a green horned cowboy. Oh boy, this escalated quickly. I'm just a tad touched in the noggin for thinking I could lasso fate. I think he answered his own question. Yeah.

Yeah. But I'm also just a little bit confused. I'm tempted. I'm curious about lassoing fate. He tried to lasso fate. There was a bunch of texting the wrong people up in here. She blocked him like a rusty gate at one point. Bloss him like a rusty gate.

And he's tough as a $2 steak. That's a tough one. He didn't say that. That's a tough. That's why I was tough. I mean, he even rhymes. Hey, that's why it was tough. It wasn't medium plus.

I'm telling you, I think he just sent us his next kid's book because that's what it sounds. Hey, yes, hey, don't worry about the woman like you said, hey, right? What was the name? I met your mother? Children's book. Well, this just took another weird turn. All right. We're reading this because it was so long and now I'm enjoying it so much.

Can't rightly picture myself with nobody. else, though I reckon I'm still wet behind the ears and I ain't never met her in the flesh. He's just texting this girl. Oh, yes. And he's 16. My dog. Isn't that what you said? Yeah.

Okay. Now we've found the issue. Yeah. She's probably not even real. No. Yeah. And if you're talking, if you're texting her the way you're emailing me. She's showing all her friends this and they're having a heck of a lot.

They're having a good time. And you're fantastic. friend. Let me tell you that, but I don't, this is, this is a lot. This is a lot. I would love to see his predictive text on his phone, though. I'd love to know what words they're putting together for him. I'll tell you what, though, he's got a heap of hope and a handful of heartache, but it's like I'm staring at an empty fishing pole. Ain't no catch just echo of my own thoughts, bouncing around like them tumbleweeds. This man is a poet. First and foremost. No, he knows. No, this was intentional. He's one of them dudes when the music starts.

He puts his hands on his hips and his feet goes moving. Then he does that clogging. Well, he's feeling like a chicken with his head cut off, running around going nowhere fast, and I'm aching, but I'm putting on a brave face, smiling through the storm like a scarecrow and a hurricane. My holy she. He just writes in lyrics of country songs.

There is a career path here, is all the time. You need to get off this girl and figure out how to make money doing this, Because it's hilarious to me. That's 16. I don't think 16-year-olds talk like this either, do they? I mean, if you're in West Virginia, he's probably an old soul because... I just come from West Virginia. What else could he be?

Life expectancy is probably like 40. Colony Beach. You know, I mean, he may be almost halfway done with it. I'm just very interested in meeting this human being to see if this is a real... Email him. Email him. Email him. Email him back and give him our interest.

Tell him, come on in here, root and tooting, and ball busting. That's right. Come on in here and be on the podcast. Hey, he's real sorry if I yapped your ears off like a hound dog with the bone, but I surely do appreciate y'all listen. And thanks y'all fellas of a heap, and may your trails be smooth as a fresh plowed field.

Tell them to send in a video lesson. No. A fresh plowed smell, a fresh plow field ain't very smooth. You ever talk before? Hunter's got a great point. Just FaceTime him. I'm asking for a guy. No, Josh needs to send in a video question about this girl.

No, he doesn't. because he can write in 17 paragraphs. We ain't getting the short, concise deal out of Mr. Yahshawa. This has gone a whole second. That's what I'm saying. Long-winded. Got a lot to say in a short time to do it, boys. Well, it very much interested me, and I hadn't got to read the full thing because it was so long.

And then I was like, you know what? He got, there's even the word sasparilla in here. So it's, it's, it's, what do you rhyme with that? Gorilla? Vanilla. Criter? Criter? He popped the question

like a bottle of good old Stap's Rilla. She said yes and I reckon I ain't never seen a happier critter. What question? This dude just played you, Big Dog.

What? He has a girlfriend that he never met in the flesh. I think he made the whole thing. No. But I thought he was blocked like a rusty gait. There's part of this.

No, no. I'm back and forth. I think he, I think he, I think it, though. She said yes. And then she blocked him like a rusty gate. Yeah. And now he's sad about it. That's the point of the email.

You got no hope, man. She closed the gate. I don't know about that. My head hurts. She closed the gate. Well, I'm not even, yeah. I don't know. All he wanted is he just got it.

He said something about a coon trying to climb a three-legged cone trying to climb a grease pole. Yep, that's in there. Hey, I'll tell you what works on them deer feeders. Vaseline. Them Coons ain't getting up there. Oh, yeah. And they're fond to watch tonight. They are. I don't know, Mark. That was a weird email. I slicker than a feeder pole of Vaseline. We're going to take a break.

We'll be right back in a rooting, two, and a second. Anyways, back to this. I got a couple more, but that dude took up a lot of time. Hunter, I want you to know this. Uh-oh. There's a lot of people that want to be in your position of us fixing them up with a mate. right oh so don't they're like the old girl amanda said she already sent her profile she said i volunteer tribute like i'll be on it i'll do it she got two cats and one dog she don't want to date you what does she wants us to set her up with people i got excited about the dog i got excited

a crazy cat lady well who wait what i got excited about the dog you ain't a cat person who whoa whoa yeah hey he ain't a cat person he's a dog her name's Amanda and her family calls her gator. I'm just probably not for you, Hunter. Anyway. I bet she likes to be boxed. She wants to be so. And she's got red hair. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, hey.

If she's got red hair, she likes to be blacked. She may rather be chokeslammed. Hey, has red hair that God gave her, but your girl likes to diet brighter. Direct quote, your girl likes to die brighter. Hunter, you can't handle her, son. Oh, she's too much. No chance. Not enough beans, not enough beans any britches, buddy.

That's it. We're doing you a favor here. But if we have a season two, Amanda's at the top of the list for people. Amanda, how are you on editing audio? Because you can't just come here and be a contestant. I didn't know that was part of the rule. Anyway, here's a great one I saw. A guy emailed Ian named Aaron from Marshall, Texas, and he said,

he took this picture with Sire. Oh, wow. Huh. Is that Paul Lewis behind Sigh? maybe I don't know where this picture was taken it's a real tree hardwood shirt okay so do you know who Aaron is that emailed in in this photo the baby no the baby that's fantastic okay boom there he is now oh okay so he wanted to thank you for coming to Marshall because he didn't remember

the first time he met you because he was seven months old you've been famous for a minute, man. Yeah. Old age, you're doing you good. You used to have to wear glasses, now you don't. That's it? He still got that crazy looking at his eye, though. He didn't.

Look at him. I'm not talking about Aaron either. I love it. How funny is that? I've been taking pictures of people for so long they've grown from babies to adults that emailed this podcast. Kind of like Rush. Now that's why.

What do you think about that? That's what I'm saying. That's why I tell everybody. That baby just emailed you. Because that's why I tell her. It's like a rush fan. You know what happened? Sy lost his glasses and his dad's got thicker.

Yeah. That's crazy. Look at that. Go back that other one. That's wild, right? Yeah. That is wild. I wish they'd have recreated the picture and had

Si stand up and his dad hold him again. Like that would have been even, that would have been even more fun. Yeah, that would be good. Oh, man. Where is that at? This is the one I first took with him, and now, they don't have taken another one.

That other one is, like, um, that one right there. Where's that taken? I can't tell. It's, where is it taken? Yeah.

It's it, uh, Kyle's, Umaha. The first one, though? Huh? I mean, that shirt,

that shirt is old. Oh, no, no, the first one I don't know. Oh, oh, he was seven, did he say how old he is now?

No. Oh, more than seven months. Well, yeah, I'm just going off of the... Let me see. I'm going off size shirt, like, because that camouflage hasn't been made in... Yeah, good while.

Probably 16 years, 15, 16 years. Stone was with you. The kid, at least 16 and 17. So... That's crazy. Yeah. Yeah, how was it? Wow.

I still had all his teeth. Oh, yeah. You see that first picture? Cy still got all his teeth. He still had that zany look at his eye. I love it. But look at it. And his beard is like the exact same.

him. That's fantastic. It's shorter on that side for sure. Every time. It's a little grayer. You're more white now. Man, I love it. Anyway. I bet that was at like a church event or something.

I see we were selling, like Phil was there selling merch. I see Duck Commander shirts back in the day. Heck, I could have been there. Brown hat. And there's the old posters, the old Duck Commander posters we had. Very interesting, though, whenever I got that picture. And I was like, hey, thanks for coming by. I don't remember the first time I met him because he was only, oh, six months old.

Six months. And I was like, oh, my goodness, a baby that met Sy just emailed Cy years later. Hmm. It's weird. God is good. And took a picture. That's fantastic. There you go.

That's cool, man. Well, that's why I tell people, I'm living proof that the Almighty is still alive and well. Yeah, there's these boys that walk up that say, you're all I watched when I was growing up and I look at them. And I'm like, well, man, we're about the same age. I said, well, how old are you? And they're like 17. I'm like, no, I am not 17. I just turned 38.

38. But I still feel like the... Oh, no. Yeah. Hold on. It was just Martin's 38th. We haven't even said happy birthday. Well, thank you, yeah.

What was that? Saturday? Two days ago? Saturday, yeah. What did you do? Birthday. Nothing. I chased the air conditioner around the house.

It was 107. Like, I didn't do anything. Brittany's like, we can go do this. No? No, I'm going to stay right here. It's my birthday. Yeah, I ain't doing nothing. Yeah.

And I'm not. And I accomplished doing my ice cream bar out of the fridge. Yeah, next we got old John Boys is coming up next. When's your birthday? It is, ain't it? Yeah, September the 6th. Oh, yeah. He said it is.

No, no, because my wife, she was reading my calendar the other day and said, where are you going hunting? And I said, I ain't going hunting nowhere. It's August. Yeah. And she said, it's on the calendar. Yeah, hunting season starts on Friday. Yeah, no, that's why. Yeah.

Yeah. Y'all and I said, I said, you don't have lost your mind. Well, I got to get my $5 a license here. Oh, you're harmless now? I'm hardly. Gava made it to the harmless age. This is the second year. He's a harmless fan now.

I'm 61 now. $5. Oh, don't worry about him. Don't worry about him. He ain't kill nothing. Isn't it the sixth? Isn't that serious? Or the seventh?

The sixth? When is that? What's today? Today's the 28th. That's going to be hard. It's going to be hard math. That's weird. Good, great.

Yeah, your birthday's four days from Saturday. Next Wednesday. That's crazy. There you go. This year's went back. And Jebbs is right there sometime. There's a little nest of us in to August, 1st of September. Tony Nails is the 6th.

John Howard. John Howard is 6. Your uncle, yeah. So you can get your uncle. Japs to 7. That's so crazy because then like when you go to April, there's a whole bunch. A whole other slew of them. There's definitely, our Ken definitely had a few ruts.

Yep. when we there's a nest of us born in the same little clusters it's funny right all his brothers well we're all Christmas babies you know like we were all Christmas presents yeah

what is this end of April beginning of May people I don't know you had to back up 10 about 10 months from there it's because it was so hot outside start a hunting season it's right now yeah no it's just wasn't nothing else to do we ain't going out because let me tell you On Martin's birthday, I had the first chance to go fishing.

I've had like all summer. I was like, shoot, I'll go. We'll just be out by the time. That was dumb. It's hot. He said, I'm going fishing tomorrow. I said, good. Catch me a birthday bass.

And I didn't. I didn't catch nothing. I don't know if he was thinking like I was going to say, oh, I'll go. No, you have fun. I was like, I got my chance. That would be a fisher trip to turn it to a swimming project. Yeah. You ain't lying.

Why are you going to jump in the water? It was probably 92. It was. It would be a little bit. At least you'd be wet. I mean, the water. Around here so hot you start to wrinkle you get in it. Them fish come out pre-cooked.

Yeah, they already at medium. They ain't even got to get them far to get a medium plus. Medium plus, the only way to eat fish and steak, baby. Fish so hot, the worms are crawling out of them, I'm sure. You know what's how? They don't even want to eat. Digs up a worm and he's sitting there going, Pug and he's sitting there going.

Go and him all. I got to go home. I got to go home for eating. Yeah. The freshman class. of West Monroe had to do a project all summer long, and they had to dig up a worm and take a picture with it. They had all summer to do it.

Well, none of them did it. And now they saw it. They all buying boxes of worm for me. They can't find a worm. They got to buy them. So every day some kid comes in with his mom behind him, and he's like, excuse me, sir, do you have worms?

I was like, yeah, dude. And his mom's like, I told him he had all summer. And now it's time to do it. And there's no worry. He can't find a worm anywhere. So we had to bring them here. But I've been laughing. Do you make them buy them?

No. Do you at least charge them? I'd tell them if they eat it, it's free. And then they look at me like I'm a crazy person. Then I let them take a picture because it makes me laugh. Just make sure you slide honey hole in there. That way you're getting some brandy at Westmanoehl High School. Yeah, I'd have all kinds of fun with that.

Yeah, they can't find worms because I guess everything's dried up and dead. Oh, hey. Worms go where the water level is. And right now the water level is deep. long way from here. Yeah, it's deep. It's in New Orleans. Well, let's take our last break. We'll be there right. Okay.

And we're back. Yeah, we are back. Are we? We're back? Yeah, let's just go ahead and finish this. Let's just round this sucker out. We were going to start like a new little deal because everybody asked who all works at commander and we were going to start bringing the employees in and I asked two of them or longest tenured.

No. Yeah. And they both, they both respectfully declined. Harry wasn't even respectful about it. Hey, Hey, you're right. They went donkey on him. Yeah.

Well, Harry told me, now, he never committed. I may have made that part up when we were in the hall. But he did say, I'm not going first. And that was his only request that he didn't go first. I was like, well, surely. I was like, well, surely Becky will come on. Yeah. Because Becky's been here longer than anybody but Godwin.

Correct. I think. And Becky, I keep texting her. And so folks. Well, go good. Leave us some nice comments saying Becky, please come on. Harry, would you please come on? Harry's awesome.

Now, Harry's going to be tough to get a segment out of. I'm just going to be honest with y'all because he's an accountant. Harry's very serious. He's very quiet. But he knows everybody's secret. So if you have any questions. I got questions. Yeah, well, I'm not even going to go down that road because he does your family stuff too.

So. Dun, done, done. Becky needs to come in here. That's what I said. Because, hey, look, we all love you because, hey, you're the one that brings the money. See? Okay. Becky is a good person.

Sure enough. So hey, you get happy text from Becky. That's exactly right. You have a check in my office. Now, she's probably the meanest person

you've ever met on emails. I was, I was about saying I never emailed Becky then. Well, because her emails are all like three words long. It's hilarious.

I'm like, Becky, you can put a little emotion into that and like, tell people that you appreciate it. No. She can't be emotion.

She's out on that bag. Hey, Terry, you got a check for her. Oh, I could flip the script. Say, Becky, can see me. I got a check for you. Yeah. She won't show up. She knows where all the money is at.

Beth, can we get a check for like seven cents? So we can pay Becky? We're broken. No. But we want to introduce y'all to everybody behind the scenes here at Duck Commanders. So we may need y'all's help in the comments where I can print them off and say, look, they really want you guys. Can we get Jeffrey? Jeffrey?

Jeffrey. No, he ain't been here long. Okay. What about? I'm not sure he's committed to the cost. That's right. We don't know if he's committed. Yeah, I don't know if he's committed to the call. Jeffrey's one of the most interesting human beings in the world once you peel back that onion, though. Who is that? Who's Jeffrey? See, that's what I'm talking about. Say, we don't even know it. He hasn't worked here long. No, he's a guy that has the office across from me. It's just always vacant.

He's running around with Willie now. He's not doing my old job, but he's running around with Willie a lot. And so I get to hear all the fun stuff now because he's one of my best friends. But we do have a new employee who committed to be on our podcast. She wanted to be here a little longer. Bella is actually working here. Bella Robertson. I refuse to call her by her new last name. So she's a Robertson.

We have a Robertson back in the house. She's working. Hey, how can I get some of that beans and coffee bean? What? Oh, you'll have to take that up with John Luke. That's his deal, not mine. It's a big warehouse, people. There's stuff everywhere.

I'm not telling you what to do, but in that back room back there, there's a bunch of backed up coffee. I don't drink coffee. I get. With very little security involved. You go get whatever coffee you need. Who else works here these days? Parker, he's an interesting cat. Parker, yeah, Parker who runs Buck.

We could have him in here. We could have Freddie come in. She's our friendly therapist on the end. Yes, that's right. We have a therapist in our office. You have to. I don't think I haven't met, Fred. Oh, this bunch of needs to.

That's Parker's. That's Parker's wife. I don't even know. She's got Willie's old office down there on the end. She works for Sadie. You know who we should have on here? Who? Sadie, the ratings would Skyrocket.

Nah. She's not going to come down to our level. She hasn't got time to be on here. Yeah, she's way too busy. I think I could get Sadie on here. There's a lot of new names. I should say that lady's got too much on her plate. But we could get Angela.

Oh, Angel. Oh, Angie. Me and Angela shared an office for a while. Me and Angela shared an office for a while, too. I'm just glad the remodels almost over. We're about to have all these strangers out of our office. Of course, we're moving in a bunch of new strangers. They're moving in all these people, the production folks.

We're moving in a bunch of new clients. So we'll have Hunter here more often. We can peel back. New guy, what was your name again? Jordan. We'll have Jordan in here, ladies. Apparently, he's single too. So he's got, he's.

How long do you been here three days? He kind of resembles me, to be fair. And John David. He's like if you matched up me and Johnny Dee. Two months. You've been here two months. How old are you? 23.

23. Where are we finding all these young people? Well, he's got, is your shirt Hart? Did you go to Harding? Yeah, I did. Did you make it four years? Four and a half. Hey, ladies.

He made it all the way through Harding and didn't get kicked out. To me, that's a good accomplishment. Yeah. He didn't say he finished. Oh, no. He just said he was there for a while, but I did. Well, hey, look, if he made through four and a half years, my ass off to him.

There you go. It took me six. You got the highway? I couldn't stand but a semester. Yeah. I could stand. I was a high. The name rings the bell, yeah.

Yeah. I went to highway back in like 07 for the three days. I was just over a couple of weeks. No, it's been longer. Did you ever eat at? Who that's? A few times, Joe, it was good.

Yeah. He knows that north-west park in the northeast. That's kind of really more central. I was born and the same town. Where are you really? Oh, you're from Searcy. I'm from Searcy. You're a Searcy native.

Oh, yeah. I never met one of you. Yeah. I didn't know you exist. I didn't either. And I certainly didn't know you stayed there. I didn't even know he was here. Everybody I met up there has been a transplant.

So that's crazy. Good times, man. Small world. Hey, send us out of here. Let's go home. Shall we? Yeah. Hold on.

I wasn't quite ready, but I was getting close to being ready. No. That means almost. Huh? Yeah. That's exactly what. I was almost ready. James 112.

Blessed is the one who persevered under trial because having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him. Sa, you're going to look good in the crown. A lot of jewels in that way. You know, you're going to look tight in the crown. I can appreciate it.

Do you think he gets to design his own? Huh? Oh, it'll be lined in teacups, buddy. I'll just take what he's offered. I don't care A robe, a crown, and a mansion And some mice slippers We'll see y'all next time

Let's see y'all next time Right here on the duck call room. We're out