Duck Call Room - Uncle Si Relives the Closest He Came to Death in Vietnam

Episode Date: October 15, 2024

Uncle Si nearly made a dangerous decision in Vietnam and proves “Forrest Gump” to be an accurate portrayal of The Vietnam War. Martin and Jon Gimber relive the wild Duck Commander days of selling merch at Talladega Speedway, and John-David defends his hot take on warm toilet seats. Si reveals the conclusions he often comes to after self-reflecting, and the boys are surprised by his revelation. - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the duck call room. Ladies and gentlemen, we are here with a familiar face. Is he familiar? Well, he's been this year, third time, Gimber, second time? Second time, second time. Long time listener, second time. Here's the problem. Last time John Gimber was here, we looked at each other in the eyes as we were

into it. And I said, why did we not talk about? And I don't remember what we didn't talk about. And we were like, we're going to do it next time. You said next time. I don't know. And we talked about what it was. And I should have went and, I'm just,

listen but I did. And I saw the reason why I brought the paper the notebook today so I can write down things like that. But Gimber is Phil's nephew. Willie's first cousin, Cy's nephew. Could be size's nephew instead of Phil's nephew. Yeah, but we always rude to Cy.

No. No. That's not it at all. Oh, he's Judy's youngest son. There we go. And her last name was Gimber. But first it was. Robertson.

There we go. The giver's only half Robertson, so he doesn't count. We may have talked about that before. Al introduced me. You used to introduce me as, this is my cousin, John. He's half Robertson. And I would say, Al, you're just half Robertson. Oh, he's full.

Actually, Al might only be half. Jason's full. There's enough of him now to be two, though. He's on the downtrend. I thought, hey, look, all that says is, okay, the man is always around good food. Good food. Uh-huh. Okay.

And that's a Robertson thing. Yeah. That's more of a fast food bigger than a good food figure. Side truly is my uncle, that's the question I get most whenever people, you know, find out who my family. Yeah, you actually mean it when you say uncle. He's my uncle's sight, my real uncle side.

You're one of the few people in America that means uncle. Well, no, no, that's why I miss his mom so much. Yeah. Okay, because that was the only time the family really got together. Yeah. You do it was the center point. Okay. Okay.

I got you. We'd always go to their house. Okay. And she'd cook up fabulous, you know, whatever. So when you gave Gimber Christmas presents, did it say like from Uncle Sy? We didn't do my present. I didn't do the, hey, you know, this is from me. If I bought him anything, which normally I didn't.

No, because he was broke. Yeah, because I was broke. Yeah, you ain't have no money. Okay. The only thing I could do for them was whatever I could pilfer from the Army. Oh, yeah, our tax dollars. Yeah, our tax dollar. Okay, that's good.

Hey, look, I served, so I figured they owed me a little. You didn't even let me finish. I was going to say, I'd much rather them go to something like that for the men and women that serve than where they go now. So I'm cool with that. Like, you got some army surplus. Let's give it to your nieces and nephews. That's cool. Well, no, no, because I always made sure it was what we threw away.

Yeah. Congratulations, you got trash. In other words, I said, okay. That may be, that may have started something that he didn't intend. the star. Yeah, and now look at Gimber's yard. It's been pilfered. I actually just looked up the word pilfer. It just means steel. Well, no, no, because, hey, if you throw it away, it ain't stealing. Yeah. And it's got a positive connotation. Okay. You know, that's the deal about, hey, one man's junk is another man's treasure. Gimber got a lot of treasure. Okay, so I got a lot of treasures from the army.

Gember got that Bible verse so hard. Gember got a lot of treasure from Marketplace. Thanks for coming, Gimber. We're just going to make fun of your habit. No, you know what I love about Gimber? How many kayaks he owns at any given moment? Well, maybe. I don't know. But if you ever...

He's got two. Two currently. If you ever... If you ever need a weird part for something, first phone call, John Gimber. It's a used to... When I had a crossbox in my truck, it was a good chance I had it on me. Yeah. I went to a side...

I went to a side box now. Okay. Everybody needs somebody like that. Yeah. I'm serious. Okay, because in the Army, we lived off of that guy. Yeah. Okay, because if we needed something, hey.

You know what you don't ever have to worry about? Oh, get it. If Gimbers around you. I'd have stuff. Zip ties. Yeah. Single ratchet straps. Like all the things.

He's got every 10 millimeter socket ever made. I know that's where they go. So far, I've got multiples of all of what you said in the truck right now. See, that's what I'm talking about. What you need? Oh, I got one of them somewhere. But if I can remember where to find it. Yeah, he's always going to have some WD 40.

Yeah. Like, I mean, just. Handy kind of fell. He is, man. Like a pocket on a shirt. He is like a traveling Napa. Like, I mean, you know, except he's got a lot of the stuff is at the counter. Like stuff you don't really think you need, but when you do, you can have.

Have you ever been to a counter with Gember? No. It's a kid in the candy store experience. I have been, he's just grabbing stuff. I have seen him walk out of Buckees with a five gallon bucket, though. Johnny D. and I did that at like three in the morning.

First Buckees I ever went to with John Gimber. He grabbed a five gallon bucket on the way in. He was like, we're going to need this. And it was full on the way out. Yeah. I said, you're going to need that? You're going to want it? And then I was mesmerized at just the place.

And, you know, their target market. I was with him. Yeah. That was one of the funnest accounts we had when we did the Bucky stuff at Doc Commander because I got to experience a lot of different Buckees during that time period. Yeah, there you go. Gimber living his best life in the Buckees. Bucke.

Anywhere you can buy a fire pit, some beef jerky, some M&Ms. And a bucket. And a pack of Winstons. That's Gimber's. And a bug, and look, and the large fountain coaks are like 69 cents. The bathrooms are the cleanest things in the world. You ain't been there in a minute. They love more 69 cents.

Yeah. They sat well, and you know what they did was. I was there two nights ago. They started making their own, they have their, you got to watch out because like they have Diet Coke, which is necessary. And they have, they have Diet Bucky. So if you grab the wrong one, it looks similar from a distance, but it's, I mean, I apologize Mr. Beaver, but it's not quite the same.

Off brand coax. We got to get rid of all that. Mr. Pibbs. Sam's choice. Somebody need to revoke Mr. Thunder's degree. Yeah. He ain't a doctor.

Yeah, he ain't a doctor. No, Dr. Thunder. That's what I'm saying. He's down there with this. He's just mister. He's a chiropractor. Ph.D. It's like a hamburger place that's got Pepsi.

We're going to go down a road. We can't go down. Yeah, no. Bunkies is a place that has too much. Yeah, I went in there. I know, I'm serious. Oh. Tuesday.

That's it is too. That's why I don't ever stop at it. Tuesday. I can't get in because there's always thousands of people. That's because you don't want him. No. You can hit him. That's true.

You can get in. You might be the most recognized celebrity in a Buckees. Like Justin Timberlake could walk straight to the bathroom and not be disturbed. You? Oh, that's a problem. Thiel Robertson and a Buckees? Yeah. That's a two-hour experience.

I believe like Gimber though. I'd have to say, okay, give me a couple of buckets. And, hey, somebody carry them. But I'm fixing a fill these suckers up because they've got everything in the world here. I need to go. That's why I don't stop in it. I'm serious. I hit it twice on Tuesday.

The terror one? No. The Gulf Shores one. So the Gulf Shores one, when we went on down there this year, 45 minutes between getting off the interstate. This is on the eggs around. And find the parking space. Now, granted, when you get in there in six minutes, you got a chop beef sandwich, two gifts, a Bucky's Cup. And Christmas is coming.

You've done. But the problem was it was it was a nonstop line of people that were willing to wait 45 minutes to go into a C store. Well, no, no, because that's like the gas station. They're Buckees. Okay, there must be 40 pumps. Way more. Hey, and there's always 10 people in each one of them.

And they don't charge a premium. They don't even advertise their price on their gas because it's always, it's always cost. Yeah. I only really notice like when people got Bucky swimsuits on. Then I'm like, okay, those are all. Yeah, they're one of them. Yeah, yeah.

I didn't buy enough of that. I just got brisked. My neighbor got a Bucky swim suit. Yeah. The whole family does. Boy's got Bucky Beavers in their crib. We got a couple of those. No, this episode is not brought to you by Buckey's.

Yeah, what do we do? It could be. I mean, if y'all won't till, you'll holl them. But back in the, back in the day, we were the first, we were the first co-lab shirt that they did was a Bucky shirt with a D.C. logo on it, too.

Really? Oh, yeah, way back. Where do we get that? We did it whenever. That shirt's only showing, like, up on cops and Joe Exotic. Yeah. No, they were here. They sent, like, because he sent, they sent a big thing,

a Beaver Nuggets to the office when we did the deal and all that. stuff. Oh yeah, you watch Tiger King, you'll see that. Somebody got a DUI in Kentucky on the TV a couple nights ago wearing Cy Robertson shirt. Oh, yeah. They wanted me to tell you. That was on live PD. I saw that one. That's an old one. What's shame on you? What? You should have been drinking tea, right? That's right. It was that. Dr. T.'s. Yeah. Yeah. No, I remember. That is a bad deal. I've seen that. Change shirts, man. Yeah, change. You can't be having Uncle Sal and acting a fool like that. I sure you can. That's America, son.

We're not going to talk about football. No, we can't. We're not allowed to anymore. No, we're not a sports podcast, so we can't talk about that. Why not? Because it sucks. Ty, would you go hang out in the press box with like Mrs. Mahomes and Taylor Swift and all that? Would you go to, would you do that? Yeah, they're looking at the sheds.

Yeah, I'd hang out. Okay. Curious, I didn't know. You think y'all have a lot. You talk to a guy that loves a women. Well, you think y'all have a lot to talk about, U.N. T. Swiff. Probably not, except, you know, we'd talk a lot about, oh, you sure are looking good there, Taylor. Yeah.

or good, right? I mean, I just... Wifty. Didn't see that coming. Yeah, I really thought he'd say no there. No. I mean, I just... Is your...

Anywhere there's a lot of good-looking women? He's in. I'll be your huckleberry. Yeah, what are you going to do, though? Hey, look, just because I'm old, don't mean I don't appreciate a good-looking woman. All right, look, springtime is here. It's warming up.

You know what that means? That means more outside cooking. And y'all know. We love to eat. beef around here and that's what because of our friends over at try tells beef makes such a good product ain't it good it's so good it's our friend sall robertson would say buy on the grill look before we got tritels getting ready for a cookout man somebody had to run the grocery store do all the things grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day and you never really know

where that beef come to them but with tritels beef we skip the grocery store and do it a different way Tritails comes from a family ranch out in Texas. They're a fifth generation American ranch, so they've been at it for a while. Now, look, the beef comes straight from their ranch and other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way. Their steaks are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door. We threw a couple of ribbys on the grill. Look, salt, pepper, garlic, hot fire, that's all you need. Look, because I'll tell you what, when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living,

you can taste the difference. The tenderness and the flavor are fantastic. So if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season, go check out Tritails Beef. I know in size case Christine loves it, which is just a, she doesn't eat meat. She ain't a big meat easier, folks. Yeah.

Just go to trybeef.com slash. That's trybeef.com slash support ranch families and eat some dang good steak. Seriously, I'd love to read a Bucky's ad, though, even if it's just one, y'all. Like, that would be fun. Like as many of those ads we've got to read and everything. I just think that one.

Duck at checkout. No, I think. You know. They have a website. Yeah. They've got to. I don't know. But they got good brisket.

Really good brisket. They do. Brisket on the board. Yeah, buddy. Yeah, they's hollering at them. You can tell Gimbers worked at a weird gas station restaurant before. They're putting one in, that just down the street in Rustin eventually.

How many jobs have you had in life? Oh, my God. To be able to yell stuff. Too many? Way too many. Hey, we had a question on the last podcast that I really would be interested to know on this one. He asked what was our weirdest job that we had. like odd job.

So Gimber is a man who is, I'd call you borderline odd job connoisseur. Yeah, I would just call that Gimber's life. Yeah. How old are you? A 5-0 as of back in September. 5-0, boy. So for the last 35 years, Gimbers had an odd job.

Is there one that stands out? Like, man, that was bizarre or. I mean, I don't think they, one of the jobs that was fun was I was a mixed chemicals for crop dusters, which I don't think they're even allowed to do that anymore. And then we would also like... Oh, you got the mesothelium.

Yeah, we would... You may be entitled to compensate. And so we would flag the planes, and what you would have to do was walk the... You'd walk the cotton fields, and you'd have to figure out when you thought the crop duster was zoomed in on you, but you had to get out of there quick enough

not to get... It? No, the chemicals on you. Because he's coming in with the chemicals, and he can't slow... You don't have a break on that thing. No, no. And so you just...

Once he gets... Once he gets, once you feel like he's locked in on you, then you move to slide down to get out of the way of the chemical, and then you line back up for when he circles back around. That was actually a pretty fun. I mean, it was a fun summer job. How many times do you get sprayed? Oh, every day.

Okay, I was wondering, because since I've known you, I wouldn't call you fleet of foot, so that's what I was on. You were 100% on foot. Oh, no, that's like me in field. Hey, we was in the cotton field. We was on crossing the cotton field. Y'all wasn't hunting y'all's trespass. Well, hey.

Poaching. I know what y'all's doing. Okay, poaching. Yeah, there you go. But anyway, one of them spotted us, and he had been doing what he's supposed to do, spraying field. Mm-hmm.

Well, hey, he's doing duts and spray dust. Yeah. On purpose? On purpose, yeah. And we're crawling like rats on our hands and knees as fast as we can, the other direction. He's going. So what was worse, round up or Agent Orange?

Hey, I don't know. I'm serious. I don't know. I just know. I just know, hey, that was rough. I got some weird people driving in planes. Oh, yeah. Another one, we're out.

We're on the Red River on a sandbar, catfishing. Okay, and we had to wade to get there. Yeah. Okay. So we're chest deep in water to run our line because we wanted to put it right out in the middle of the river. So we're out there running it, and here comes one, and we rode on the sand, land. Right. He come down, you know, cut his engine, and he was actually fixing land.

And he went, no, crank it back up, what on? Hey, he done the winning thing and said, I'm out of here, boys. I said, okay. What did you want him to land for? We wanted to talk to him. Y'all's bored, huh? Yeah, what was you? Conversation.

What's it like up there in that sky? Yeah, hey, you take me up there? Yeah, take me for a ride. Weird people find them playing. Oh, no, they do. Okay, because how do you think about it? Going in and on the high lines all the time? Oh, I had one this year.

We were filming a deal for Rappala, and my guy had a drawing. up following me in the boat. Yeah. And they were spraying right there where we were fishing all the things. All of a sudden, the crop dust, I guess the drone appeared on his radar or whatever they got now. He turned that sucker and come straight at that drone and made old boy fly and it just panic. Like, I mean, it was the quickest.

I told you, he's weird. It was the quickest abort I've ever seen. Oh, yeah. Here he comes boys. Yeah. He comes straight at my man's drone. Yeah. And so he's over there.

freaking out while I'm on pad running down the river. You know, like, I'm running 60 miles an hour, and this guy beside me is just panic, trying to get his drone out the way of a crop dust. But I guess if that's what you do, you kind of try to find stuff for fun. I'm sure there's some crop dusters that listen to us. So, hey, what do y'all do for fun? Well, no, no, just what you said. Yeah.

Try not to die. How not to die? How do you see? They're all, they're a journaling junkies, man. And the guy that owned our place was a former fighter pilot. So like if you're out there like mowing the, if you're out there mowing on the tractor, which I mean you sit there on a tractor half asleep, mow an acre worth of or acres worth of land and strips.

And he would fly over you on that crop duster and run the crop duster right on top of you. Hold on, like within 10 feet of you and it would wake you up on a tractor when you just all of a sudden you just look up and you hear it. You hear a noise and look up and then, oh, good grief. So what is, Hunter, you try and say something over there? You know, I lived on it. I grew up on a farm and I lived right next to some cousins of mine and we have this crop duster who would, you know, come out and crop dust our field.

What he liked to do for fun is screw with my cousins next door by flying really close to her house and freaking them out at like 7 o'clock in the morning and waking them up. Crop d'clock. Pallets are weird. Oh, I tell you. We need one. I tell you. Yeah. We need one in the flesh.

I mean, I know a couple. Weird ones? Well, I mean, they say. They're weird. They seem straight. We need one that's about, I don't know, how old are you? 77. We need one about 76.

We need one mid-60s for sure. It's been to Vietnam and. Oh, no, no, no, yeah. You got Google right there. Can you do like life expectancy of a crop dusting pilot? It's high. High? I mean, low.

Oh, I'm about to say. Oh, yeah. I wouldn't think it was real high. I mean, it's high. They're like the pilots were in Vietnam. Yeah. And doorkers. Yeah.

Okay, doorkmanor's life expectancy in Vietnam was three days, seven to two hours. Really? And this idiot will fix the volunteer. That's how bad everything is. Well, he's that close to not sitting here doing that. No, no, yeah. Don't seem to me if I did a crop duster. I don't know if I had to sobered up, anybody was with bored.

Yeah. So, yeah, let's go volunteer for be doorgunner, which the life expects to be 72 hours. Oh, what bright idea of that is. Vietnam. During monsoon season. The Forrest Gump was right. Oh, look. Like the sideways rain.

We're having a stinging rain. We're having a company get together. The whole company is out, which is like 350 men. Mm-hmm. We're in our platoons, four platoons. Okay. We're standing shoulder to shoulder. It come in and started raining.

We're out and the rain hit us. Well, hey, when the rain got there, the whole company disappeared. I mean, I got a person on my left and a person on my right, and I can't see them. Nothing. Okay, because there's a sheet of water just coming down in front of me. Okay, but hey, trust me when I tell you. I can tell you every time. It didn't rain.

It didn't rain drops. It was like a quilt. A quilt of rain. Not a sheet. A quilt. A quilt. Well, you can get out of a sheet. A quilt is thick.

So, right, now, you just, you couldn't see nothing. And look, 15 minutes after it done that, you couldn't tell it ever right. Because the sun would come out of about 115 degrees. Did Tom Hanks come do like a character study with you or something? I mean, you really are kind of like Forrest Gump, really. No. No. I mean, other than you ain't been shot in a butt, you know.

Have you? No. No. No. I did have some scary moments a couple of times. Did you? Yeah. Yeah, one night, the airfield, like we was five miles away,

and we was in a three-story hotel where we stayed downtown. Well, we're on the top floor, and we're looking, and there's all kind of crap going on at the airfield. Big explosions, a lot of fire, a lot of, you know, bullets going in there. Yeah. Yeah, so yeah. But you use at the hotel. We come in, and there's bodies laid out.

Uh-oh. go at the gate. So, yeah. Yeah, Vietnam, rough place, man. Oh, yeah. That's wild. I mean, but you maintain such a, part of the story.

You make it sound so pleasant. Like, people are just stealing tires and carrying engines of water. The country, oh, my goodness, it's beautiful. Yeah. The country is gorgeous, right? The rivers, the delta, all that. All the thing. But, hey, during wartime, it ain't beautiful.

Yeah. we go any further. Speaking of rain. Yeah. Our thoughts and prayers are with the folks of South Florida. We just took another one on the chin from our man, Milton, and ripped through there. And they shutting down Waffle houses and Disney World. Yeah.

You know it's done guys. It's done guys too. Yeah, that's, yeah. Especially at a Waffle House. Now, Disney World doesn't have surprise me. Waffle House, they like the U.S. Postal Service, man. Rain, snow, sleep. Yeah, they all there.

Gember's very fond of the Waffle House. When did they clean it, though? Oh, no. You're no longer invited back. Like when do they, they never shut it down? When did they clean it? Have you,

they had to shut it down tonight for the hurricane? Hey, they cleaned it as they go. No, no, as a man who frequents a waffle house. As a man who frequented it as they go. There's a certain amount of grease you slide on as you get in there.

Has anybody ever been in a waffle house at 2 o'clock in the afternoon? No, but Brittany ate it for dinner the other night at like 6.30. It was weird. That's different. That is weird. They probably clean it in the afternoon when nobody goes to Waffle House. Probably.

Waf Lave ain't for takeout. Huh? You're missing the whole thing about Waffle House. Ever since I got that. You got to go in and sit down and eat at Waffle. But you know what's wild though is she didn't and she still smelled like it? So you ain't got to be in there long. That's right.

Hold on. It's like the casinos. They're just pumping in sausage and bacon and scattered smothered covered. everything else. I don't know what kind of oil they use. It's not olive or vegetable. It's not a lot of oil. No, that's the kind of old RFK is talking about.

Yeah. I don't know who that guy is, but. Bobby Kennedy? Oh, that guy. Yeah. He's against it, for sure. Oh, he's no doubt. It comes in drums.

He's against Waffle House or just, yeah, it's a grease. I don't know. I've got to get with it. I got to stick up for Waffle House and Brittany, though, because you're like, you still smell. You're like a Basset hound, though. You're not. might be the most powerful thing in this room right now.

It is. What is? Name something more powerful. My wife has got a better nose than he's got. Oh, yeah. My nose ain't great. It's really good on food. I once went to a certain establishment in town.

Tony Island. Uh-oh. I haven't been able to go back. I was... Because of the smell? No, I enjoyed it, had a good time, ate some good food. I was 20 feet away from Martin. And he looked at me and goes,

do you just go eat at Coney Island? And I was like, oh, no. You know, Connie Island. Oh, yeah. It's got a smell about it, but I didn't know it traveled with. We have chili and onions? No, no. Man, they stick with you.

Well, it's just like the fair. It's just like it, huh? It's just like the fair. I didn't smell it. Whenever you go to the fair, it's the fair smell. When's the last time you've been to the fair? Well, it's been a long time ago, but it's still in his nostrils of the island. The last night.

It's like it was five in a minute. I would have peed my pants. It's like the Titanic. It's been 87 years that I can still smell the fair. No, because me and Si and Willie and John David were headliners at the Washington State Fair. That's the last one I've been to. There was a fair.

Good point. Here like two weeks ago. Yeah. I didn't go. Don't you agree? What? When you were walking around, it's just a fair? I haven't been to a fair.

I haven't been to a fair. I don't, like, there's no core memories associated with the smell of the fair. I think the problem with it is a lot of the things that were associated. with this has it's all got a cleanliness issue. Yes. Like you don't, you don't walk into a really nice hotel and say, man,

this thing has got a funkiness that sticks with you. I'm about to hurt you. It's not hurt your feeling. You got a certain mustiness. You are the man who judged me. Oh, we're not sharing a bar of soap, though. Your Mr.

cleanliness is next to godliness. There's no, that's, I will die on that hill. We share the hotel. You can't, how can soap get dirty? And he was,

I said, well, I got to go get some body wash. He's like, no, you can use the soap. I said, not after you did, sir. Yeah, no, there's always that random hair on the soap. You're like, where'd that come from? This man was like, it's soap.

I said, it can't be dirty. But whatever you touch last, which for me is going to be my buttocks, is going to touch me first. That's the order you go in? Yeah, you end at the butt. It's like being in a swimming pool. I mean, like, if I jump in a swimming pool and you jump in a swim pool, parts of that water are touching me and you in different places and are continuous.

But I'm not going to put your dirty feet on my face, whether I'm in a swimming pool or not. Sure you are. When you put your head in the water, my dirty feet have just got in your face. And my undercarriage. That's the nicest part of it just touched you. Hey, you're ruining pools. You're ruining water parks. Hey, the community is out, boys.

You didn't have to ruin water. I ain't going to the pool ever again. I do like a good water park. Do you really? Oh, it's so, it feels nasty. they got a smell about them too well I mean I always got that one bandaid

like I don't now they're indoors so the sweat just sticks in there and comes back down from the ceiling they probably got a they probably got a smell about it too in four years you're going to take both of your boys

and have the time of your life at an indoor water park you're going to like this is miserable and they're going to love it and then you're going to realize you know what a water slide's pretty fun really

I I got a lot of mass to be sliding. I tend to, like, get stuck on. No, you ain't going to get stuck there. Okay. They make them real big. You clearly ain't been to a water park. You're one of the small people at Waterpark.

Waterpark kind of like a golden corral. If I'm the smallest guy of Waterpark, we got a problem. That's why you got to go to the nice. Don't go that one in Shreveport. You are the smallest one there, for sure. The one by the airport? What do you see over by the Shreport Airport? Yeah, on 220 on the way out.

You lock your doors even though you're going 70. Yeah. That's crazy. Oh, my goodness. Anyway, yeah, Gimber shares soap with people and he complained about the law and Lange. Well, I mean, if you got to have soap, you got to have soap. I mean, you get mid-shower and you don't, you ain't dissected that. I'm just saying, if you take the soap and just hold it up to the shower head and like spin it twice, it's literally like it's.

Oh, because then that phantom hair is somewhere on you. And like, I can't, I wouldn't be able to deal with that. See, I, like, this is. I'd be looking for that thing all the rest of the night. And this is coming from a guy who's very hairy. This is the difference between like, so I'm 50, John D's not 50. Yeah.

And so I appreciate you knowing that. When I started my college years was at tech in the athletic dorm, I wasn't athlete at that time. I was just there because the top store was overflow. But our shower at Hutchison was about a 12 by 12 ceramic room with four shower heads. There was a whole hall. For the half of the half of those,

two of them, one on each end of the hall. The toilets had no doors on the toilets. And so you learned to take care of your cleanliness and your daily routines a little different than probably y'all did up there in search. And you complain about Waffle House. I'm just saying like, clean the grittle. Hey, buddy, pass the soap.

It was not, they were not worried about your space. That's why West Mineral House. things going on. That's when our high school's locker room was when I was there. I don't even think they allow like showers like that in high school and stuff anymore because of privacy issues. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, we didn't know. We were like, man, we're dirty and we stink. We're taking the shower. You know, we didn't care.

Like, everybody in their neck, it wasn't a big deal. But yeah, now I think. Community showers. The thing. Community showers. Yeah.

And the doors off the stalls were what were weird. That was weird. Everyone's while, though, I think we make good decisions as a society and move forward. Yeah. community showers needed to be left in the past. I don't know.

In the past, sir. It was a pretty efficient way to have 100 people shower in two rooms quickly. Yeah, you saved a lot of water. You did in there take care of your business. Now, you did have a sink in your room that you could brush your teeth in. Yeah. But you didn't have, but you had this. This was college?

Yeah. ULM's so much better than tech. I don't know what their shower situation was. I wouldn't stay in there. the shower head at ULM was over to Natta Torum to come straight out to buy you when I was there. Like, I mean, I'm saying, I went to both schools. I did have a, we did have like a sweet deal, like a Jack and Jill type that joined four people using one shower and toilet.

Yeah, that's what I had when I was in the dorm and we kicked one kid out. You need to go spend a week in one of them old ones like they used to have a tech. It's gone now. They tore down. See, some things need to be left in the past. Everybody likes to talk about the good old days, but we're changing things for a reason. It built character. Yeah.

We're also, you're also talking. It didn't have, it didn't create an unnatural sphere of soap for me. No. I can tell you that. Yes. But you're talking to the man who's got a heated toilet seat and a bidet. And a bidet. So, like, you know, just consider the source is all I got to take.

I told it got a remote. You want to know why? The future. The future. The future is not about that water hose connected to your pot. I got it. I got to be honest. And you know what else?

We got salsa robots now. We got everything. The future rules. Question for you. Answer. I feel like I'm going to get personally attacks out. No, I just have a question. Why do you like a warm toilet seat?

Why do you like a cold one? Because I know nobody's been there. That's right. Well, this is in my personal establishment. I'm saying, but then. Now, if I'm at a Buckees and I sit down and it's super warm, I'm going to go, this is unfortunate. But you already see you're too far committed,

but I'm just wondering if that doesn't like break, like you build a memory to like. You're expecting the warm. You don't. You know. Because every once while you get at work and I'm like, uh-oh, it's two o'clock. Yeah. And there's only one toilet at the whole tackle shop.

And, you know, I love our customers, but some of them, you don't want to sit behind. And, you know, you walk in there, you go, uh-oh, that's warmer than it should be. But at home. But you don't like nestle just because it's warm then. No. That's only at home. Okay. But the only other person using that toilet?

Yeah, I'm the gross one of the two of us. So. Okay. Yeah. But the toilet seat's going to warm up in like three seconds on its own merit if it's not warm. You, you know, you spoiled kids these days and your cold toilet seats, you know, do you know what it's like to sit on like a cold toilet seat? Like when it's 30 degrees outside?

Every day. Almost every day. Yeah. I don't like that feeling. You get done quickly. Yeah. I like to sit down, participate in and you get up. I like to sit down, participate in Wordle, give a mini crossword, and go about my day.

On the toilet. Don't ever made it in the outhouse. Don't ever. I would not have. In the outhouse days, you'd have never made it. I'm a man who likes a good bathtub, a good shower, my own bar of soap. So what I'm hearing is don't bar Johnny D's phone. Exactly.

Oh, yeah. But it goes with me. It is not toilet safe. I brought my thing in the shower the other day. But that's why your phone has more microbes than that door handle does over there. That's not true. I get. Probably this way.

That toilet, that door handle has. hasn't been in the toilet today. Your phone has. You want to know how clean my toilet is? Not at the honey hole. That's where you've been this morning. That's a good point. Yeah, but see, he wouldn't have used that.

The one at the house. He wouldn't have used that one today. He's way more likely to use this one today. But I said you wouldn't have already visited the honeyhole toilet. The one here, is it still the schedule didn't work? Is it still the executive? They like, they're like half of it and half. And now you're looking at doors.

It doesn't have the same vibe. What's that? Oh, this one here? My old toilet at Duck Commander. it's a different, whole different feel to it. It don't splash on your leg when you flush it anymore either. We put an office in there for a small... You're creating a bunch of germophobes.

Do you remember when the office was in the bathroom? Oh, yeah. No, I remember that. That's what we called it the executive. There's the phantom shower in there, too, for a tile shower that I don't think has ever been used except for by Johnny D. when he spilled gas on himself. Gasoline sprayed all over me that morning.

It'll make you take a bath. Johnny D was borrowing clothes, buying clothes, like he got covered in gasoline. My house is seven minutes away, but I was like, eh. It's weird. That's fun, though. Yeah, that, but that, but then that lady moved in there. We're not going to say her name.

Who, Ms. Carrel? Yeah, we are going to say her name. Well, we ain't going to say her last name, but Ms. Care. Her, her, it really ruined the, that ruined the vibe too, because her office door side, it was within inches. She had to move her chair if you get in there, but I'm just say, she could knock on the bathroom door, from her computer.

Like, y'all, y'all says they're having a conversation. Why he take care of it? Well, no, you, no, generally you end up. Yeah, because generally when you end up in there, you're like breaking a cold sweat. And then one day. You're jogging to get in there and have a little bit of privacy. And then you got to go right by Ms. Carroll.

And you're like, that's a bad deal here. So I was always pretty good at controlling it. Yeah. And like, wait until she wouldn't be in there. And then one day, I got in a bind. I think we went to a certain Mexican establishment for the fifth time in a week, that hat. And so I'm running, and then I get in there,

and for some reason, this girl had like a substitute teacher that day, like somebody was subbing in for her. Oh. And it was like dumb and dumber. Yeah, I bet she didn't stay here. And she was right on the other side of the door, and I was like, I'm never going to be able to look at this person again. Yeah, that's a problem.

That's issue. Duck commander, the old days. Hey, well, the difference is now, like, we got so many people working here now, you can't find a toilet. Half a time, I take a leak in the back parking lot. Have that time somebody took a dump back there? Who did that? You found it? Oh, I did find it.

Yeah, I did find it. Somebody in a bind. Yeah, I don't know who did it. Yeah, I did find that. We know what's not Johnny D because there was not a warm. You once took a dump beside the Duck Commander RV. Yeah, that's a problem there. Will you please come clean?

Yeah, no. I hope they got clean after that pile. golly. Yeah. Man. I said that's a person, not a dog. He said it'd have to be a bear if it was an animal. Yeah.

That was a toughie. Somebody. Somebody had. Our first trip to, our first trip to Talladega, it was. Oh, these stories always go good. It was, so it was. My first time in Talladega.

So here was the crew at Talladega. It was Becky, Wayne, me, Angela, and Jimmy Redd, staying on Talladega Boulevard in an RV. and talk about nervous, Angel was so nervous that, because we kept telling him Sa was coming to use her soap. And she got really nervous there.

And they, the girls banned us from using the bathroom. So to go use the bathroom, we had to, you had to grab a roll of toilet paper, which we had, and walked down the block to the communal bathrooms,

which you would not have approved of, Johnny D. And that was our, that was our week at Talladega. On Talladega Boulevard. And we were, it was definitely a, it was a team building

exercise. That, you know, like the first time we did that was like 13 years ago, 14 years ago. So I got a, I had a Facebook memory the other day pop up of that. 14 years ago? Yeah, like, because it was me and Angela and I screenshot it and sent it to Angela's Facebook memory. And I said, man, we were just a couple of kids. And I forgot about that one really bad t-shirt we used to sell. It was Duck Commander, but Duck was spelled with duct tape. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It was black. That was an ugly shirt.

And Angela was wearing it with pride working at Booth Man. It was great. You know what? You should probably bring that shirt back. That shirt has been on an episode of Cops for sure. The days of running the NASCAR circuit in that, in that, the days of running the NASCAR circuit in that 18 wheeler. Oh, it was wild.

It was a fun time. Wasn't that something? We did, we did some things back there. I show up for his two hours wearing them skinny jeans. And looking like Porter Wagner with that jacket. He got the same shoes on. Looking like Porter Wagner with a jacket and looked like Adam Levine in his jeans. Like it was wildest thing you ever seen, man.

That were about four inches too short. They barely went to the top of his cowboy boots, which is what was fantastic about them. We have to check in with Gimber. Have you heard of the rumors? Oh, boy. Of what's happened at Fieldsland? Oh, no. Oh, Gimber would be a good, unbiased source of this.

Oh, it's an update on that? We have an update. We have a- We have a picture. So a large cat. Jordan Summit. You trust Jordan. I trust Jordan.

So a large cat when asked the color. Shadowy. Shadowy. Yeah. We have trail camera footage. What is that? And that's all we got. I know what that is.

That is a black panther that has been sunbathing and got a little gray. I bet say first of all There's nothing about him Black. For those listening driving down the road We've We're on the Panther

search at Phil's property and we get one picture of an eyeball from what I'm going to say is a large cat I'm not even sure that's a mammal Oh that was my first thought as well

Oh you thought it was an owl? Yeah that was my first thought I think Panther But I know I know what it is. A quick Google search made confirmed what I thought it would be. That ain't the mountain lion. Okay.

No. Their eyes aren't that. That's a house. That's a house. Yeah, around pupil, right? I mean, and it is early, so it would be extra dial or actually, I guess it's late. I don't say that's a house cat. No, not even a feline.

What? I need a feline? Uh-uh. That's a, well, then what is it, a little owl? No, it's a coyote. he's got his ear you see his ears laid back like when you pet your dog like it's just a coyote if you look if you look up i've never petted a cat do cats not like getting pet behind the ears i'm not going their ears don't lay down quite as easily as a as a dog's

i think it's a panther that don't look like enough ear to me for for a dog well you got to consider you got to consider the source so this camera's above him because i then i says stone how high is that camera. So then I started doing the math with it. It's just a coyote like looking up like this. You don't really get the perspective of that from that. But the camera's up fairly high. The eye is, it's not cat like that. I agree with that. It's a young coyote. It looks more like a stupid owl. Yeah, that's what I said. It's got a really big eye. Yeah. I asked him, I said, is there something for something to perch on right there? Like, because I thought it was like a little screech owl or something, you know, just getting right to fair on. I don't. I said, I was, I'm saying, I

How did we get just a quarter of the animal's face? I don't know. The animals are outsmarting us. Anyway, there's a panther on the loose. There is a confirmed mountain lion sighting there. I trust Jordan. And I... Kimber is speechless.

And I, there was one that screamed three times, or two that screamed three times. Okay, that's when they was in the duck line. That was right. One on one side, one on the other side. I will say. I was there that morning. I have never heard that. I don't know what it was.

I don't know what it was. I would have called it some sort of foul. Anyway, Hunter, you got voicemails? I do. Oh, that was, say it was some confidence. I might call us, leave sigh voicemail. 318, 215, 65, 59.

Leave us a voicemail. And you will get to show all your friends that your voice was once on the duck call room. and then we answered whatever ridiculous thing you came up with. It can be relationship advice. We're putting relationship advice back on the table. The duck call room changes. No longer do I have to go searching for overpriced seafood when I can go to Captain Dees.

Let me tell you something. I tried it a couple days ago. Incredible. Y'all changed my life. Thank you all so much. What was this person's name? We sent him with Captain Dease. You put him on D's.

Hold on. There you go. It is a great little seafood place. Well, that needs to be sad. Well, hey. Captain Dees. Any guess what Brittany wanted for dinner last night? Any guess?

Captain Dees. Hey, Monday night. There was a certain football team I liked to watch play, and I had all three children to myself. Captain Dees? Captain Dees. Did you all, really? Yeah.

Do you ask for the extra scrap? I leave a tackle shop where people catch their good fish for meals, and I went straight to Captain Dees and got my own. there you go it's embarrassing it's really embarrassing when mom gets it for lunch and brings it in there I'm like you can't do this but she gets the chicken

why would you eat chicken fried in fish grease yeah and have you had it captain d's oh it's probably good one of I just I'm a strong believer of once fish enters the grease that is now fish grease yeah like nothing else

they're doing a bet they're doing a way as somebody who sells grease for a living they're doing a whole lot better with the food with the flavor transfers on those stuff. The oils that they use are made, are the better oils that are refined more, have less flavor transfer than, that's why you can even get a still get a french fry out of, you know, a place that's still in seafood and it tastes like a french fry rather than a piece catfish.

Do you really believe that? Huh? I mean, I believe grease is like a cast iron pot. You just keep using it and it gets even better. No. Most people, most people. I mean, if they're going to filter it, like Keynes is filtering their stuff a couple, three times a day and then it'll be a other day.

Now, let that sucker around. run get some greasy flavor. That's, that's feeling okay about that. What he just said sums up why you, why he got to have a warm toilet seat. Because Dadgummit, he's there a lot.

Now, now it's making sense. Big Dave does not change his grease. Well, he got one of friars where everything goes to the bottom. He drains it and strains it. Got to. He ain't that cheap and y'all make way,

enough money to do this. How often do you think Big Dave? changes is grease. I hope every quarter. Quite often. Now. Once a year? Yes, it is.

He cries off. Once every six months. No. Okay. Well, that's not terrible. That's not enough. He fries most of the kids. I don't believe that.

Right? I would have to have Big Dave tell me that he, he kicks with the same grease for six months. Otherwise, I ain't buying it. All right. So that's today's voicemail. Back into the emails now. We're just so far advanced in technology. Hello at duck callroom.com.

Email me and like kale from Martin, Georgia. Cale? The name's kale. Like the vegetable? Like the salad. No, he spells it with a C. Oh, okay. Proper.

I wonder if, oh, wait, I have a picture of him. He's not a big guy. Cale the whale was a nickname of a guy I knew in high school. Sorry about that, kale. Man, you were a hater. No, I played by the straight bully. He was a fucking dude. Straight bully.

Locking people out to shower. in the air. All right. Go ahead. Anyway, Kale's getting married and we're invited. Oh, okay. Love is in the air.

You want to go? When is it? Brooke and Kale it's in North Carolina. Well, we're rooting for you guys. Brook and Kale. They're getting married in January.

I'm probably not going to make them. Yeah, big dog. That's duck season. All right. They want to go duck hunting on their honeymoon, though. But he needs a guided hunt

for just two people. people. Yeah, you ain't gonna find that. Friend, I'm gonna give you better advice. The last thing you want to do on your honeymoon

is invite a third party in to a duck behind with you. That's weird. Go to the beach or something else. They'd invite a third part. Yeah, I like to be getting handsy on my honeymoon.

I ain't trying to invite a duck guide in. Anyway, this is actually the most interesting question we may have ever gotten this next email. I have a question. I have a question. Caleb asked, and I've never thought about this,

but he just asked a simple question. What does side do at home when he's bored? Sleep. Sleep. Like, that it? I mean, he don't quilt. Look, like, he doesn't. I thought that might be.

Number one, I seldom get bored. Yeah, have you heard the voices in his head? Okay. I have. Yeah, because if it ain't one in my head, okay, I self-analysis all the time. Have you ever, like, self-diagnosed yourself with something? Oh, yeah.

Oh, I do it all the time. Oh, you do not need one. And I always fall short. Of self-diagnosis? Oh, yeah. My diagnosis is always on the, on the, uh, you need a lot of work, son. Yeah. You need to get better than what you are.

Well, that's not, I mean, that's just be, that's just, you just take me up for the verse of the day. That's just being honest. honest with yourself, which is a good thing. Yeah, but see that, yeah, but. Like, because you could lie to yourself and say, boy, I'm good enough. Well, no, no, but you ain't ever good enough. Most people, okay, you have standards that you should be meeting.

Yeah. You know, as, as I'll say, put it this way, from a teenager to adulthood, okay, if there's standards, you should be meeting as you, as the journey continues. How many of them do you fly right by? I don't have a medal. How many of them do you just zoom on past? I just, I seem to overlook them all. He's still 14.

Yeah, I seem to overlook them all. So, so that's how I always. Oh, yeah, but she's a little harder on yourself and you should be. Yeah, you've done all right. You were. Well, I don't know. No, I'm honest for myself. Well, I'm saying, you've done, you've done all right.

But you were a good. That is true. You were a good husband, a good dad, a great brother. Yeah. I mean, you were. Like, if you, look. Technically, you're a, all of America. favorite uncle.

You're America's favorite uncle. You've done a lot of good things. Well, that's for the all my life. And for crying out loud,

you served our military for 23 and a half years. 24 and a half. Did pilfer and nap. But that's fine. Well, hey, look, they're going to let that way,

though, Jada. If it's not Pilfered if you say, throwing it away. Yeah. I mean, that's great. You're saying you don't want this

anymore. I can use it. Yeah. It was repurposed to. And it was you. Yeah. To provide those less. less fortunate.

Like Gimber. Hey, Jace used to wear that jump. Oh, yeah. Oh, Jayes has got the original little green bomber hat looking thing. Bomber hat. Yeah. He's got the O-G. He still got it.

Hey, I gave that to him and he never, hey, yeah, he wears it all the time. That's what I'm saying. And he still isn't nice to you. Huh? And he still ain't nice to you. But we are, you know, like you said. Oh, too much a lack. I think there's one good thing you do, you do get at there.

We are our own worst critic, whether it be looking in the mirror, looking back on our life, looking back on things. But I'm just telling you, I mean, you've done all right. And that ain't because you're sitting here looking at me. I mean, I'd tell anybody that. Well, that's the hard part with those comparatives anyway is that you can always do better. You can always do worse. And that's what you use to justify bad behavior.

Especially on that worst part. On the worst part. And to look at self-pity. I'm like, oh, I need to be doing this. But if you're looking at it in a positive way, like being able to do more, being able to make yourself a better person. Well, I'm comparing myself to people that I've always looked up to. Yeah.

And they met the bill. Okay. They exceeded the standard. In your eyes. In my eyes. In your eye. Yeah. But in their eyes, know that they say in the same thing.

Yeah, they say in the same thing you do. Yeah. So it is one of the truths about humans. Like that is one of the weird deals. Well, if you're not honest with yourself. Yeah. Always strive to be better. Yeah.

Like you're never the best version you can be. Always try to be better. You teed up the Bible verse. Romans 3, 23, and 24, for all have sinned and all fallen short of the glory of God. Good news is, verse 24 is just as important because all are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. That's why, gee, left heaven and deal what he did. We have to have him.