Duck Call Room - Uncle Si Scores Big Anniversary Points with His Wife

Episode Date: April 10, 2025

Uncle Si gets a semi-expert take from Russell Moore, barber to the West Monroe stars, who shares the scoop on tipping culture, church gossip, and conspiracies hidden in plain sight. Martin and John-David discover one wild thing Si’s dad used to do that they would never try on their own wives. Also, Si somehow pulls off a big anniversary win with minimal effort and sparks a surprising debate over how baptisms should go down—face first or back? - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ready, set, go. Welcome back to the duck call room, ladies and gentlemen. Today we are joined. I'm going to do better. Generally, we get like 12 minutes into this for I introduce the guest. But not today. Today we've got our friend Russell.

We talked about him. We've talked about Russell. Recently. And we'll get into that. But welcome, Russell. Well, I'm glad to be here. Yeah, look at there. Even wore a camo shirt to fit in.

Look. Everything fits but them glasses. Yeah. Look, I'm a fancy. I'm a fancy hunter. I wear the ray bands with the bifocal and the progressive and they even turn dark in the sunshine. There you go.

Look at there. Si. You know what I just learned when he walked in? He had never met Cy. Never. Never. As a man who's a professional barber, I can see why. Their paths aren't.

I'm on a little on the bushy side. Yeah. Their paths are going to cross off. And plus, Siley gets his haircut by 70-year-old plus females. So what's that? No, I will say Before we get into why Russell's here,

I got an interesting text while I was gone. So we're filming TV show all day today. This is actually while the film crew's on lunch. I get to be in here. So like it's a day for me. Not for me. But I got a text from Cy's lovely bride. It said,

if you have a chance before Cy leaves, ask him to stop at churches, which if y'all don't know, churches is a chicken place. It's not the local worshiping. Yeah. No, not not the chicken. Don't stop at a church.

Stop at Church's chicken for my anniversary meal. Is it your anniversary? Yeah. And you get to be bailed out by going to Church's chicken? Did you know that it was your anniversary? Huh? No. This was just a nice way of my wife reminded me.

Via me. Via Martin. So it's your anniversary. and you're going to have church's chicken. That's right. A leg of thigh, coleslaw. Are we still talking about the chicken? Yeah, and two biscuits.

Oh, two biscuits. See? I don't know. Are we talking about the chicken, right? And two biscuits. Yeah, okay. You know how many years it is? In each bill.

Oh, okay. One for each of you. How many years is it? What year is this? Oh, good grief. Ballpark. It's 2025. Like 54.

Yeah, well, they had that big celebration. on his 40th. Is that right? That was the 50th. 50th. That was only four years ago. It goes by quick. I was thinking about the one with like,

where they did the party and saw I bought her a new ring and like all the, all the thing. I still can't believe that. Yeah. You got guide on that one, son. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You got guide on that one.

Have you ever been able to pull off Anniversary Church's chicken, Russell? No, but I would love that. Yeah. That's going to love that. You got to. you know, hey, when I married her, I put a, I put a cigar ban on her, on a finger. Allegedly. This true story?

No, that's my story. Not her story, but it is. I know. She said something about a $16 cheapo, and I said, well, you know, you got one now, and it ain't a cheapo. Yeah. Well, whenever I got engaged, my wife of 21 years, she conveniently got a job at a jewelry store because she got that employee discount.

that as a sign and I got a great deal on a ring. You made her buy her own ring? No, no, no, no. She got it as a hint to say, I want you to marry me and I got an employee discount here, so I would come by it. That's brilliant. How long does she work? Double whammy.

Just long enough to get married. Yeah. I need to talk to your wife because she sounds like she's financially. She's frugal. Frugal, like myself. Fiscally conservative, as I like to call it. I'm not. No.

Well, yeah. Shut up. Anyway, I'm going to be broke one day. Anyway, but that's because I don't, I did, what's funny is we brought Russell in to talk about a very important topic. Yeah. It's sweeping the nation. Yeah, it's in the news. I got a tip.

It's all over. Today. You got a tip? Did you put the tip jar out? No, because I don't want to offend people, and that scares me. But I, uh, some guy, it was like 1806. He handed me two tens. He said, hey, you just keep.

it and I was like I look at God right I'm not getting taxed on this dollar 94 dollar yeah there you go man look at God so that was my my second tip I've ever got did you like it I just put it in the cash register had the drawer just be over at the end of the day oh Lord hey when it's a family business it all goes the same pot anyways so it doesn't really matter like Johnny D figures he ate a dollar 94 worth of chicken shrimp and fish last night I ain't more than that I was hurt when they when Alex brought and pastries for everybody I passed. I said, uh-uh. Yeah.

I'm hurting. Um, but Russell, how much, uh, do you get tipped? Let's just get real weird, real fast. Oh, wow. Well, you know, since we're on the public airways and we're talking about governmental IRS and so forth, uh, I think we don't know how much I get paid in tips because, uh, it's a mystery. No, the truth is I, I, I, I, I show. They're going to keep it that way.

I'd like to keep it that way. Yeah. No, the truth is I'm one of the rare, this is the truth. I'm one of the rare people, uh, who actually show. show my tips and actually pay taxes on them, just like it's real money, because I want to go to heaven and I don't want to go to jail. So I don't like it, but I don't want to go to jail and heaven sounds nice. Yeah. Yeah, I'm out on jail. I mean, I'd like to do everything I could to keep me from there and everything. I can appreciate that. I also got to be honest, I don't know

that I'd show it all because, you know, give to Caesar what Caesar. Caesar been dead a while. Yeah. Now, there's a few. few little exceptions. I didn't say give to Biden what's Biden. No, no, it show did. If it's a little cash tip or something, and then I don't show that. But if it's, you know, overwhelmingly, we deal with credit cards. I don't know how far into this stuff you all want to get, but we do most of our stuff

with credit cards, and you've got to show it. So if you show a tip on a credit card, it's just there. So Russell owns the, what we call it, the greatest barber shop in town? I don't think it's, I don't think it's the greatest shop in town. I think it's the greatest shop in the world. In the world. We're talking about it in the world. But he does have two old model ducks hanging in there.

They're like they're from like 72 maybe, 71. You know what? Everyone including Willie Robertson has not been able to identify those ducks. I think you got close. Yeah. Well, they're either model ducks or black ducks and men in Louisiana. They're most likely model ducks. Did you shoot them yourself?

I did not. They like that shirt. I didn't. No, the truth is I bought an old canoe that was like a decorator piece. You know, I was going to hang it up in the shop. For whatever reason, it didn't, it didn't jive with me. But when I bought it, the lady says, hey, you want them ducks with it? And I said, sure, I'll take those ducks.

So I just stuck them up in the shop. I'll take those. A question on barbershops and tip. Yeah. We're not, we don't go to barbershops. I recently started going. Yeah. And I never know what to do.

I just, I got confused when I took, when I was there last time you saw me, we were talking about your son and his love for fishing, which is awesome. And me and him will go fishing. at some point. Pondhoppers 318 on the ground. Fond hoppers, follow them. Hey, let me just tell you something. I don't have a lot of content lately.

I'm a pond hopper from way back. So I just like ponds that have a boat ramp. But now, because I like to put my boat in. Bill Dance Jr. over here. I was up there with the, heck yeah, man, look at the fortune that guy's made. I'd love to get the bills level one day. But I had my boys in there getting a haircut, there too,

and my wife got upset it. me because I didn't tip enough to the lady that the young lady that cut their hair. You cheap skate. I didn't even look. I just, they have a, your screen, he can confirm this just has like an option for tips. There's four of them. I don't know how many. I went to the middle.

I just went straight in the middle. So that's got to be a fair number if it's in the middle. Now, you described a horizontal choice. The choice is actually a vertical choice. Okay, there you go. So I didn't even remember. Medium and the highest. I just went right in the middle.

Like to clarify that. Because I thought middle was fair. I was like middle is fair. I didn't even look if it was a percentage. I didn't know if it was a standard 0, 5, 10, 15, 20. I didn't look at none of that. Right. Whenever I'm at the final stages of a transaction, I'm ready to get out of there.

Plus, I tell you, did I take, I took twin two year olds to get their hair cut? don't know all that word just escaped me floors we have an upstairs and a down well his his one that he was holding was being nice but the one upstairs was uh having a fit yeah he was downstairs trying to get away from all the action well i was downstairs because here's deal there at the age now where if one of them gets upset the other one gets upset uh huh like if if jackson gets pissed so does whalen and vice versa they just think that well he's that way i should be too you know ag team championship but if you can remove him from it Waylon was like, we went down, the ducks, the deer, the goats, and sat there and talked to Russell.

I don't know if there's a goat something. It's not like a petting zoo on the wall. And I didn't buy, I didn't shoot any of them. Every one of them I either bought off eBay or got them on loan and they never gave them, got them back. Didn't shoot that zebra? No, I've shot, you know what? I hate to. I've never even killed a buck in my life.

I've killed some does. I've shot two nubbing bucks and got fine from the deer lease because I thought they were doze. But otherwise, no, I'm a horrible hunter. I'm a bad hunter. If you fish with me, you won't catch fish. If you hunt with me, you won't kill deer. So don't ever bring me. That's why I'm going with his son.

And he actually does get some. Leave down out of it. All right. Look, springtime is here. It's warming up. You know what that means? That means more outside cooking. And y'all know.

We love to eat beef around here. And that's what because of our friends over at Trial's beef makes such a good product, baby. Ain't it good? It's so good. Our friend, Sao Robertson, would say, buy on the grill! Look, before we got Tritels, getting ready for a cookout, man, somebody had to run the grocery store,

do all the things, grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day. And you never really know where that beef comes from. But with Tritels beef, we skip the grocery store and do it a different way. Tritales comes from a family ranch out in Texas. They're a fifth-generation American ranch, so they've been at it for a while.

Now, look, the beef comes straight from their ranch and other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way. Their steaks are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door. We threw a couple of ribbons on the grill. Look, salt, pepper, garlic, hot fire, that's all you need. Look, because I tell you what, when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living, you can taste the difference. The tenderness and the flavor are fantastic.

So if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season, go check out Tritale's beef. I know in size case Christine loves it, which is just a, She doesn't eat me. She ain't a big meat easier, folks. Yeah. Just go to tribeef.com slash. That's trybeef.com slash support ranch families and eat some dang good steak. Okay.

So what started the trend in tipping barbershops? Okay, so I've looked up the history of it. And if we want to get into like a book report, we can get in. So I looked at Chat GPT because I also wanted to know the history of it. Yeah. And I'm a big fan of Chat GPT. but so long story short is that that industries without a wage generally offer the ability to tip. Okay.

So our shop is they pay me a flat fee every week. And most hair shops either do a commission, which is just a commission split or a booth rental. And ours is a booth rental. It's a flat fee. So in industries that don't have a wage generally like, gosh, Think of industries that don't, servers, waiters. Yeah. They have a very small wage.

And a lot of like business owners that don't have a flat fee or a flat wage will offer a tip option. And that's the old history of it to be, you know, real quick with that history. But so it's just an option and people do it and it's pretty cool. But I will tell you that I think tipping's gone crazy because I think the bulk of it is the company square, you know, that everybody's using to. to run payments from your credit card or whatever over your phone. They now put it in on everything so that if you go get a coffee, which those people at a coffee shop have a full wage, whether it's a living wage is another story.

But it's a wage, it's a minimum wage or whatever. So they're getting a full wage and they ask you what you want and they press medium, this, that, and the other, and they flip the screen and you want a tip. I think that's crazy. And it's actually taking tips away from people who depend on tips, and it's made everybody annoyed with them.

So tip fatigue. Tip fatigue is a word. See, I had a question about that. Because if it's included, like if you go to a restaurant, if they say the tip included, does the wait just actually get the tip? I believe so. I think usually in the U.S.,

in the U.S., I believe that's whenever you have a huge party, like a table of 10 or whatever. They just want to make sure that waiter or server gets paid. And so, yes, that server should get the normal tip they would. So let's just say they put a 20% in there. they'll get that unless the restaurant splits tips that's a whole other deal. Yeah, I've,

I go, I don't like that. I don't like it. I'm serious. I don't like it because I don't think they actually get it. Well, that's a good question. You know,

because I just can't feed the business doing that, keeping up with it. Well, and it's one of the reasons I like to tip it in cash. Yeah. So that I can hand it to them. Oh, if they have to,

you know, my wife used to be a server whenever we first met and stuff, and they would have to pay out like busboys and the hostess, like at the end of the night, they all got their cut of her tips, I guess because they're technically one big team, but I've just never understood,

why don't I just make a wait? If that's what's doing this. Where was your wife a waitress? Everywhere? I probably ought not tell all this. My wife was a waitress at the Red Lobster. She made way more money than me working at the grocery store. Next time Brittany's on, I'll let you ask her where her first job was.

It's a good one. I don't want to spoil that one for her. So she did, so she grew up in a college town. So she was at like sports bars and stuff like that. Yeah. Like, yeah, that's funny. That's a good one, especially if you know her. It's in the news and everybody's really upset about it.

Uh-huh. And I just, with me, I've had so many experiences with waitresses. Mm-hmm. Okay, and like if, you know, if she's a fantastic person, good person out there and really works her tail off, you know, bringing me the food and everything. I tip pretty good. Yeah. Yeah.

Absolutely. I get annoyed at tip onto ghost up. Oh, gosh. Like, you know what I'm saying? But like, you order out, I get that person's working that window. But, like, I, when, whenever the lockdown was happening and they brought it to your vehicle, absolutely that was an extra step that was required of you if it by lord forbid they bring it to my house or something or you bring it to my house that's a different deal too but if i physically have to get out

walk out there grab a bag and then turn around leave i'm like i'm i struggle with that one it's a weird i struggle with that well the reason i was saying about my story is okay you know i was i just got paid i was making good money so i just you know i don't remember what the mail was. Well, I just added $100 to it. And I said, y'all, keep it. You know, this is for you. She busts down in tears. Yeah. She said, you don't know what this means. And I said, well, you know, I've got it. You look like you need it. And she said, oh, I do. She said, my son just fell and now I had a bunch of, you know, teeth, teeth repaired. You know, and this will help pay for it. Yeah. But I just, to me, it's just, it's only fair.

Okay, if they give you good service, okay, you know, you ought to give them a good tip. Yep. And I'm a guy who's lived off of tips myself. Because I remember when I didn't have no money. Guide and duck hunts. Like as a duck guide, you, the tip money is actually where you got paid. Yeah. Your day rate was nothing.

Like, if you didn't own the outfit or place, like, you know, it's a difference in owning the shop or working at the shop. kind of deal. Like so if you didn't, you know, but what it did was forced you as a guide to put your best foot forward. Like you, you were inspired every day to wake up and have positive attitude because you knew that ultimately that is what was going to determine your tip. People understand ducks are ducks and wild things or wild things. So that didn't really matter. Like they know you can't control that, but your attitude and your storytelling and all the things like that that you do in the blind with them, that mattered. That's the same as a barber. don't care.

It is. It looks like when they leave. They just want to be a good story. Anytime you've got a job where you're dealing with the people. The public. The public, when you're dealing with the public, that's a toughie. Yeah. Okay, because look, they're hard to please.

Oh, boy, ain't they? No, no. And I'm just like you said, and if you didn't please them, well, you forget they ain't going to pay you much. They're probably just ignore you and don't even pay nothing. Yeah. So is the problem. Okay, but they don't realize what I'm getting at.

They don't realize the work that was put in to get you there. It's a hard deal. You know, everybody, somebody worked their butt off building duck blinds, getting, you know, doing all this stuff, you know. And the tip is a reward for that. Oh, yeah, for all the stuff you don't see. Yeah. But that, and that's what I wonder, would you, if you did everybody,

to a wage, would didn't the service be so expensive? People would just be called out of it? I mean, is that kind of the thought process to some of it? This morning I called in my expert friend, Mr. Corey Barr, who's got the restaurants. We talked about this. Guess what? He was very much not for getting rid of tips. He likes tips.

Yeah. Because he cooks good food. He cooks great food. But he said, your fillet that's now, what's a filet? I don't even know. 50 bucks. I bought one raw the other day for $22. $0.11.

So a $50 filet, he said to, if you turn that into a wage, that's going to be $65 filet. So it's just going to go up. So in reality, you're going to wind up paying the same money. Yeah. It's just going to be flat rate versus your tip. And I think that the, look, look, this is a TED talk. No, hold on. Hold on.

I started laughing because we have never prepared for a single podcast in the world. And then we're like, we should bring our friend Russell in to talk about tips. and I said it will be the first time somebody came in. With research? He's researched it. He's studied. He's called a few other experts. While we're on the subject, do you know what the word tip comes from?

The etymology. He's going to know all these things. All right. So just the tip. I don't know. The tip comes from a 7th century English slang acronym to ensure promptitude, TIP, to ensure promptitude or to ensure performance. Now, listen to this one.

Now, this is the difference between the American. way, this is the old European way, basically a little extra paid up front to encourage good service. Oh. That's the original. Pay to play. How would you like slide a 20 and say, help me out? Keep them coming.

Or is it I pay you at the end? That's a little different. I once had a friend going to the Waffle House. We will not say his name, but he was, he was how friends are in college when they show up to the Waffle House at 2 a.m. And he looked at that waitress, Dead and I said, I'm about to tip you. you $70. What kind of service are we going to get?

And I was like, you are a jerk. That was so rude. And she said the same as everybody else. And he goes, huh? She goes, I give everybody great service. And I was like, that's a pretty good answer. Regardless of the tip. Because I was embarrassed.

I waited for him to go to the bathroom and he left his wallet and I paid for the meal and tipped her a hundred bucks. She had a good night that night. On his card. Yeah, I wonder. On his card. That is. That is funny, though.

I wonder why it changed from before to after. I wonder if that was all the servers getting there saying, you know, I think we can make more if we wait till the end because if we do a good job, like they'll pay more where if it's just a standard 20 up front, like we're all just going to make $20 for every table. And like,

then does $20 not mean something? Then this $4. Yeah, okay. That is interesting. Yeah, that's very cool. Now, it's kind of like when you slide that politician, no, I'm kidding.

Whoa! That's never happened. That has never happened. I think they call that grease in the wheels in that industry. All right. I need the wheel to squeeze. It gets grease, baby. It gives you attention.

Okay, let me ask you a question. Do you tip better on great service or horrible service? If somebody spills my drink and they're crying, they're having a bad day, it's obvious something's really going wrong, I'll leave them so much money because I'm like, You need to know that everybody else is probably going to not do good for you. I'm going to throw so much money. I tip horrible service before.

Now, look, I tip across the board. But if I can tell somebody's having a bad day, it's going crazy that day. Oh, yeah. If I can tell they're having a bad day, absolutely. If it's from just lack of attentiveness and they hate being there, no, you're not, you're getting the minimum out of money. You brought up a good point, okay, because it's true. Okay, because I'm saying what if, you know, if it looks like, you know,

everything's going wrong for this person. Yeah, and that's obvious. And look, all you're showing is, hey, look, at least me, I really appreciate you what you do. Yeah, you're putting a little compassion out there in the world, which is a good thing. Which is a needed thing. Yeah. Very much so. But I also, you know, it's funny, I tip mostly like at a food place off of not having to ask for something to drink.

He's very thirsty. I drink a lot of water. I drink a lot of water. Hunter can make a tip right now. he got up and went and filled this up. Yeah, not. But he stays so sick. I'm not sure I want him to touch him.

Don't let him. Hunter needs vitamins before he's out of touch. That reminds me about my dad and mom. You know, all my father, okay, he was a real man, I guess I just wanted to say.

Old school would be a good time. Hey, when he got his tea glass emptied, all he would do was shake the ice. Yeah, rattle it. Yeah. Look, and next thing,

Mama would be pouring it, and then she'd get it. get so mad at herself. For doing it? For doing it. You know, it was hilarious to watch. Would that work on your anniversary here if you go home and shake your bag?

No, no. My wife is the same way. Okay. But it makes her mad that. She shakes her cup and you fill it up. Yeah. What's going to happen if you boys shake your glass around your wives? That thing's going to end up upside my head, I'm sure.

Either that or she's going to say, you should probably get up and go get you something. Well, no, no. But, no, because look, if I watched you and Brittany, you've got. little corks like that because y'all love each other and that's what that's what was so funny about watching my parents okay because my dad never left he'd forget sometimes and she'd say uh hey you all need to turn around i'm sorry because he he never left the house unless he kissed mama by yeah that's good i will say now that you know go back and think on it back in my rougher days when you would go out to the establishments at night yeah for a drink yep

when you'd walk up if it were crowded and if you walked up and you had that cash in your hand you got service a lot you got attention of course but you had to get the pre then you got the worst all you got the pre-tip and the post tip you got it yeah but you're like if you was thirsty you get up there and money gonna make something happen yeah cash money makes the world go around in a lot of ways have you all ever been in a hotel where you slide a little something and say uh can i get an upgrade. I've never done it, but I'd like to know, does a 20 get you better room? Hey, we'll tell you a better trick than that. You just, when you fill out your credit card application, put doctor on it. Yeah, yeah. Your credit card can say, my buddy done that. Yeah.

He said he was, you know, getting a credit card. You know, and they said, well, okay, you need to put your name on, sir. He put MD in front, about the end of his name. Yeah. And he said, you would not believe the difference in service. They were running at him. Oh, yeah. Oh, well, yeah, they don't make you. He's a painter. He's a painter. He's a doctor, but it's a, you know, I can't even pronounce the word, okay? What's the word?

He calls it a paintologist. A paintologist. I heard the expression a long time ago that said you have painters who drink and drunks who paint. What was your friend? He's still alive, so I guess he's a painter. He's just a painter. I guess he's a painter who drinks. No.

He's coming on and ruin all the things. No, he's a little of both, baby. Dr. Deans, baby. Yeah, he literally said, I put doctors, like, treat you better at the motels. Yeah. Oh, the kind of money he makes, he's about to be doing all right. Which is what's funny, though, is on all those applications,

if you go back and I had to look after, they don't require any certificate. Like, you just check Mr. Mrs. I'm doing it. Lawyer, I mean, whatever you want to check, you can put it there. Doctor of Shiner. Yeah. You're a fishologist.

Yeah, there you go. There's probably. I got to be there. I was like, how do you not know the word for fish? I know, but I figured fishologists would be a lot easier

for you to remember the ichthyologists. Well, that was rude. No, it's just, I mean, ichthyl, an ichthid don't come up in much vocabulary. No, bassologist.

Anyways. Yeah, it's interesting. I'm glad we've had this. We have now, now we know about it. Well, I didn't know that tip, okay,

they used to pay it forward. Yeah. Yeah. And if we were using the English, well, I guess insured. Speaking English? Well, I'm trying to think should it be tip or tip?

Which form of insurer would you, you know? Yeah, that's the same thing. It's an eye though, yeah. Yeah, it's an eye there. Not the same thing? Yeah, that's interesting. You're trying to, I guess either way, you're insuring it or insuring it. So you could really spell it however you wanted to.

I thought insure with an E was that a protein shake for old people. Well, it is. I mean, but that's to ensure that they stay here longer. I just got it I just glad that all clicked just then but you do have an extremely interesting occupation Russell

so what's the wildest thing you've heard in a barber chair well because and listen we got to we got to break down what kind of barber this man because you might think Russell is just cutting like

sigh and the old people around the honey hole's hair no he's got like he's a barber to the Westman row stars He's Sadie's barber Yeah Like aren't you? Yeah Well

Are you were Oh boy You know I think I am Last I checked I was But yeah Sadie comes to me Bella comes to me He does

He does hair Yeah Brittany does Yeah I do I do as I do I do more women's hair Than I do men And I never wanted to learn

How to do women's hair But the woman who taught me Made me I got good at I did enjoy your job I'm in Hey you want him for an apprentice For a day

Yeah come on I'm scared Okay. Women pay better tips. This is what you do. This is we're talking about tipping and I want to get the point is, hey, yo, your little appreciation. I wonder if there's been a study on that.

Who or which sex is better tippers, males or female? I think a man client with a female hairstylist is the top of the top of the food chart. Okay. Or food chain. I can say that. Say that again. A man getting his haircut by a woman. will tip the most

will tip the most yes and a woman who's pretty and is a haircutter she can jack a man's hair up and he don't care as long as she's nice

he ain't there for that he can go in there for a haircut come out ball and he paid her $200 to it don't matter you don't care

there you go but there has been a study done I fall in that category by me personally he's going to book a haircut today yeah I'll tell you

I'll follow that category I personally have done this study in the past decade I've spent a grand total of maybe $100 at the barbershop, and my wife has spent maybe a million. That's rounded up probably. But women, you've got to make more money cut women's hair, huh? Well, technically yes.

Well, welcome to my nerd side. I charge by time. So if I cut a man's hair, it's usually two blocks, which are 15 minutes each, 30 minutes. And I cut a woman's hair for 45 minutes. minutes. If you break it down, same dollar per minute. Okay. And color, I do make more money per minute. The most money I make per minute is color. But when it comes to cutting, same dollar per minute. But that's because you could screw that up and have to redo it, huh? I mean, I would put a price on

that if something, and not saying you, but if something could go terribly wrong. I could go terribly wrong. I don't, I mean. Have you seen kids these days? I'm just saying, you got blue hair, pink hair, purple hair. Yeah. Yeah, but I don't think that he's in the multicolour universe. I think we're more in hiding grays and doing hiding grays and adding some little highlights, if you will, for Russell's Climbled. Yeah, we try to keep it natural looking. I got good stories of old men getting in fights. You got to have like, you got to have the dirt on all the I mean. People are like really let their guard down to a barber, right? Big time. So let me tell you a funny story that happened recently. This guy comes in. Oh, no. This is great. Do I have a thousand of these? You're like a, you're like a bar

Are you the way of, or you're a man that bics his drinks. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I got all the stories. There ain't no alcohol involved. You just keep him laughing and everybody's happy. But so this guy comes in and I could tell him and his wife were sort of, I don't know, sort of disagreeable. And this guy, I don't know, just had a certain look about it. Well, he wanted a haircut and the shave and all that, but I wasn't doing him.

Barber to my right was doing it. Well, I kept hearing him talk about how he doesn't drink any water. He drinks lots of Diet Coke and Dr. peppers and all this. Martin hates him. Sotas. Tons of sodas. Did you cut Gimbers hair? And he said, this guy says, man, I bet I drink 10 or 12 Dr. Peppers a day or whatever, some soda. And I just couldn't help myself. And I just couldn't, I just was, I couldn't

focus. I was listening to this guy. And finally I just said, sir, man to man, friend to friend, you may want to consider a little bit of water in your life, you know, just to hydrate a little bit. You know, just a friendly deal. Well, he got so mad once he left. The shop was full of people. He stops and he turns around loudly. This is just recently. And he goes, he looks at me, he says, you must be one of them Biden guys. Because I offered him water.

I'm a liberal. I said, now that ain't, I've never heard that before. But I'm just, you know, just man to man. Just go get you a little hydration. But anyway. Yeah, we just tried to get some of that sugar and caffeine out, you big dog. Like, it ain't no. Liberals drink water.

And conservatives have boats on top of the water. That's exactly right. Right. Yeah, conservative propaganda, both. Oh, man. That's interesting. Yeah, I can't imagine the stuff that people. Well, Martin's a liberal because he drinks more water than anybody I know. That's all I drink is water. You drink so much water.

Well, the problem is... Coke and dyes and all. That ain't good for you. It ain't good for him, but man, they shouldn't taste good. But I could be that guy drinking 12 Dr. Pepper's a day if I wouldn't... I mean, I just have to make myself not. Like, I just don't buy them, don't look at them. Your barber looked at you and said

You might want to consider water and you took it to heart. No. You didn't accuse him of being a Democrat. No, the neurosurgeons said if you don't want me to cut your back, you may want to make some life changes. And I said, you know, I think I will. I'm going to listen to that. And the easiest thing to cut out was anything carbonated,

whether it's beer or Dr. Pepper or anything. That was a simple decision for me. Beer carbonated? Well, I mean, it bubbles. So I don't know. It's got some kind of. It's got some kind of something in it. Here's what I know.

Things that bubble generally ain't very good for you. In the grand scheme of thing, whether, you know, whether it's your inside or your outsides, if it bubbles, it ain't very good for you. So I'm a flat water guy. Water guy. So recently. Sparkling water.

I was talking to one of my kids, I think it's my son, who's 17 now. And we were talking about carbonated drinks. and somebody says, and I admit I wasn't the greatest student in the world, but somebody says, how do you think they carbonate stuff? And I said, I have no idea how they add carbonation to stuff. And he says, they add carbon to it. And I said, is that true?

I have no idea. But he acts like I was a dummy for not knowing that. Well, I mean, it's carbon dioxide, right? Like, I just shoot it full of gas. I don't know. It sucks. Y'all don't know either? No.

Does that make you feel better? Much better. That ain't ever something that I guess have ever thought that that may be useful in my life. So I've known that process. But I know you can do it at home now. Like they have them things where you shove your water if you want to make it bubbly. Like you can do that stuff at home. But I think it's just a CO2 cartridge.

I tried to bring this up a second ago. And y'all can say whatever you want about Coke's being bad for you or Dr. Pepper. But that sparkling swill water that they drink in England and stuff, that is disgusting. What you're talking about? Carbonated water. The stuff they drank on Ted Lassow whenever he split it out. And he's right about it. Yeah, me and Ted.

Yeah, but my question, my question is how do they get that thing to bubble it fiss or? Johnny D. Got the internet. But I think it's just carbon dioxide gas. There's put some carbon in it. No, carbon ain't carbon just going to turn it black. How do you get carbonated water?

Carbon is very important. Hey, they can, you know, tell how old you are back millions of years ago by carbon dating? Yeah, 300. 60 million years ago. I don't believe it, bull. You have no idea what happened a billion years ago. Yeah.

They don't even know what happened 300 years ago. I like when they're like, oh, no, the weather was doing this 300 years ago. I was like, we didn't have a weather man. No. They didn't have nothing. Hey, tell me why you do the carbonated water.

I'm trying to find it right now. You just force pressurized carbon dioxide into steel water. He was right. There you go. You shouldn't call it steel water. It's just water. It's the only way it should be.

Just water. Can I confirm some? something right here on the airwaves. Your son was wrong. Yeah, take that. Well, that can't be good for you. What? Putting carbon dioxide gas in the water.

Yeah, carbon dioxide. I mean, you wouldn't think so, but like at the same time, you exhale carbon dioxide, right? So. There was. Yeah, but just to get it out of your system. Yeah. You don't want it in there. It ain't bad, which is bad.

Yeah. Well, too much, it's better than monoxide, but that's a, yeah. It's a whole different deal. Yeah, that's tough to turn your paper. Because I'd like to know all the like, okay, does it make apart some fat? Carbon dioxide? The gas won't. It's all the stuff that comes with it, right?

To make that palatable to drink, you add sugar. You add all the... Unless you're British. They'll just drink that stuff. That's why I have a look at it. I accidentally grabbed the wrong thing one day and drank a diet coke that my wife drinks all the time. Yeah. Oh, no.

That stuff of key. Diet Coke. Oh, good grief. What did it do? Number one, it's got a horrible taste. Okay, number two, I guess I've been on this too long. Tea? Okay, that has not, no, you know.

Everything in that the doctors tell me is good for them. Yeah. The only. Does you put sugar in it? No. No. Okay, yeah. No.

No, no. There's a hefty amount of acid. No. And look how dark it is. It's dark. Yeah. That's tea. His does have quite a bit of citric acid by the time he gets done with it.

Well, it's kidney's working. It's good for you because I drink two gallons a day. But overall, yeah, you really do. He said, hey, you have any problem with going to the restroom? I said, not a bit or go all the time. Let me tell you something. I don't have any problem. I got to go every hour.

When I drink coffee, if I drink too much coffee, I wind up having to go to too many number ones in the bathroom. Tea? I can't go to sleep. I just pee until midnight. I pee like crazy after I drink tea. I don't drink to you. It is a diuretic. Something in it's a diuretic.

I don't know. Well, it's good for your kidneys. Oh, it's good to flush your system. Clearly, yeah. That you need to flush daily.

But the, yeah, no, that stuff, yeah, carbonated drinks in general. I guess the reason. But I think it's everything

that comes with it. I think it's carbon. Yeah, I don't think it's carbon dioxide. It's the stuff that it takes to make it taste good. Beth, did the Canadians drink carbonated water?

Like when they go to the restaurant, do you have to specify which water you want? Okay, good. Yeah, around here. Canada's smart too. Around here, it's just steel or it's just tap or

bottled, which is a real question if you're not from here, because our water got a little whang to it. Our water got lots of vitamins. They're brown. If they say tap or bottle, get the bottle. Yeah, well. I grew up on Westmore water.

Look at me. I see, now you look at them people and they say the bottle, water's killing you because of all the microplastics in it. So, I mean, where do you... If we can't drink water. I was just told by my wife the other day. Oh, boy.

Speaking of microplastics. that all of us have the equivalent to a plastic spoon worth of plastics in our brain. That's what I was talking about, yeah. And how did it get to your brain? Well, I don't know. That's a good question.

But you know what I said? Only one spoon? I think I'm okay. Yeah. I'm working on, at this point, I'm working on a fort too. Like, you know. As long as there's not a spork in my head,

I'm fine. Yeah. Yeah, no, that is a real deal that they're talking about now. That's one of the things Britney's on for the boys is like the microplastics and eating up plastic.

No, look how good like, Oh, all of our, turned out but i'm saying like in our house tuff of where it's gone it's all glass like all that stuff there's no more you know there's a line i draw what's that very hard in the saying if i come to your house and there's paper straws we will not be friends in no no no no paper straws paper straws they were a trick by satan himself to upset us and ruin our beverages yeah they've had paper straws for years and they put them inside paper towel so i don't know why they thought you should ever drink that that's the worst thing in the world yeah that's d'allel that's d'allel

Yeah, I'm... Ever straws really are horrible. Yeah, I'm anti. I know who started that. Who? Democrats. Oh, here we got. Them water drinkers.

Them daggum water drinkers. Hey, I'm trying to make the water better. That's right. The Democrats, dummy, boys. Them water drinkers. Russell is a conspiracy. Do you think we laid it on the moon, Russell? You know what?

I'm not a conspiracy theorist. You didn't answer that question very straightforward. I don't... Yeah. We laid me on the moon. Why not? I'm a same. way i mean i have to because it's a fabric of my childhood but the more johnny d just says why haven't

we been back the more i'm like you know the more you look at it and the part that i can't drive two miles from here and not have cell phone service but we got a beautiful tv shot from the moon and audio with no latency yeah it makes it a little tougher to believe have you watched that movie fly me to the moon hey this is this is like if okay you're a man's on uh dry for his life okay yo I got a lot of doubt yeah oh there's reasonable doubt

there's reasonable doubt okay to see just how far we haven't come in 2025 versus to think that man we beat everybody there I'm like and no

and then they were like well they win nobody wanted to come in second but I'm still going to believe my textbook just because I had to I mean I took a test and saying that was a right answer

I don't want to be called a liar like I've been called worse yeah I had to I probably will in this comment section. What year did we hit the moon supposedly? 60 something? See, I refuse to even look that far into it.

Well, look, 60-something we landed on the moon, 2025. We're eating tidepods. I mean, that's what we're at. That's what I'm saying. Are people still eating tidepods, Russell? Pregnant women. Really? Russell has a news station that not the rest of us get.

It's actually fascinating. Is it called Chat, GPT? Yeah, I think he's just reading comic books and telling us this news. Let me tell you the best thing. So y'all go to different pizza nights. We've got to get on the same pizza night, by the way, at his house. I think that's just too much for him to hand. The last time we had a pizza night, we played the game that I invented on the way over there is the best game I've ever invented.

Uh-oh. It's called, how many dollar generals do you pass from this point to that point? So you pick two points. In this town? And you start and you finish and how many do you pass on the way? It was a good game. It was a pretty way. If you start at Sy's house and you go to Johnny Dee's house, all of them.

Well, no, no. You ain't going to be able to, depending on which way you go, you can get to two hands, probably. That's the kind of stuff Russell shows that he's like, hey, man, I've been thinking about something. I really need to get your input on it. I'm like, oh, man, yeah. You've been going through something. He's like, yeah, so I was thinking about all the dollars. Oh, no, hey, here's another one, okay, if you start, if, just flag.

What's Monroe and Monroe? Go and see how many denominations are religious. Oh, boy, you're about to do. Russell going. Church buildings. Russell? You have the floor. About what?

The church is? Why are there so many of them? Well, because they all fought about something. And they split. Yeah, that split. You know, I used to get mad about denominations, but I don't get so mad about it anymore. But I will tell you the dumbest church.

I used to get mad about it. Well, I did too. Used to. But I'll tell you, the dumbest church split I've ever heard. This is not fact, so I'm just going to, I'm just going to say what I was told. Two churches about 100, 100 years ago in Rustin. That's where I'm from is Rustin.

I live here now. So evidently, the one Baptist church and another Baptist church all started from the one Baptist church. And they disagreed on when you baptize, one believed you should go back first and one believed you should go face first. And they split over that. For real? That's the dumbest church split I've ever heard.

Oh, no. Oh, no. There's some crazy ones out. And look, it goes, it goes. Is that that big one by the interstate where they wanted in? I honestly think they might have been. Were they front or back different? And guess what?

These days, they're both back. They both go back. Everybody going back now. Russell, at our church sometimes in people's elbows don't get all the way under and I get nervous because the way I grew up, you had to get submerged. So that I was just fixed state. There's a lot of disgust that goes on. Oh, can I just sprinkling and make it or do I have to be, you know, buried?

Yeah. Well, here's what, here's the deal for all of you. Okay. You need to read what the Bible says and understand it. Yep. Okay. There's something happening when you go into that water. Because if it doesn't happen, you just got wet.

Yep. Got baptized by water. Yeah. You did. Hey. I got wet one time. There's a story behind this. Okay.

You're reading. Enacting Jesus is death, burial, and resurrection. So back or front? Huh? It don't matter as long as you bury that. Well, then those two churches would say, you can't stay here because you had to have an opinion on that. Nope. No, no, no.

As I said, as long as you bury them, it don't matter how you kill them. Just kill them. They don't understand what's going on. Yeah. If you're reenacting Jesus's death, burial, and resurrection. direction. Well, hey, guess what? Jesus died. Yeah. Physically. Yep. And if you don't put him in the ground, he's fixed the stink. Yeah. Oh, that's right. Okay. Get him out there. So there was a burial that took place.

So what you're saying is. You buried the old man of sin. Yep. Okay. And then when you come up out of the water, God's speaking, you are now, I've clean you. My son's blood has cleaned you. okay you are a new creation hey russell did you know baptism happens to be a thing he loves oh i love it no no because without that okay you're not going to receive the gift of the holy spirit amen okay so hey look you know and the baptists okay i've studied with a lot of baptists and i said wait a minute y'all some of y'all argue you don't have to do this immediately you're missing the point What did the Bible say? Every time you read about somebody who's coming to Christ,

they went to the water immediately. Immediately. When they was in jail and they baptized the jailer, they didn't wait. They baptized him right there on the spot. Yeah. And hey, the reason they did it, okay, because, hey, like I said, the story is, okay,

you are re-inacting. Jesus is real. horrible death, his real burial, they put him in a tomb, and then, hey, and then the great part, his resurrection.

He raised, God raised his son from the dead, okay, and Jesus, his son has promised that to all that believe in him. Okay, so hey, look, there's too much going down here

to get confused at whole, should I push him forward or backwards? it don't matter to make sure he's buried. I agree. So what you're saying is if you're dead, it don't matter how you're going in. You're dead. Hey, you don't care. Hey, I will say if you were going to put me in a casket,

I wouldn't care which way you put me in there. Yeah. Some people say, I would prefer feet first in a casket. Yeah, but some of them say bury your face up, that way you can tell the whole world to kiss your rear in, right? That's right. That'll be faced down.

That's what I'm saying. But the, no, Russell, thank you so much for coming. Russell is an expert on Should we tip our preachers? No. Okay. That's called tithing. That's right.

Wow. Lord, I apologize. I do have a funny story about that real quick. Hey, I will say this about our preachers. You need to appreciate it. Hey, we do. Look, ain't no doubt about it. I gave our preacher.

But I want to know, now that you know Russell, can we book you a day to go get pampered by Russell? I want to see Russell cut size hair. No, have you got a woman, Barbara? We got a whole building full of it. Oh, yeah. That's the one you want?

He'll tip well. Hey, look. I want to let Russell can't come around, but I will let him good-looking hair. He said, Russell can pull up a chair. He trimmed me up and he just shaped my beard there. Oh, Lord. Oh, God, trim it up. He's got some of this pastry still in his beard.

Look at there. Praise the Lord. Well, that's what you know when you eat right. If you don't get in your beard, you didn't eat right. That is. Rock and roll. I read that, believe it or not, I think. I fully agree.

Verse of the day, here's how we end at Psalm 133-1. How good and pleasant it is when God's people live together in unity. And everybody said? Hey. Amen. Whether you're baptizing forwards or backwards, just believe in Jesus is what we're at. And tip your barber. And be sure to tip your barber.

Russell, thank you for joining. Thank you for joining. All right. We'll see y'all next time. here in the duck call room we're out