Duck Call Room - Uncle Si Shows His Cheeks for the First Time Since 1993!

Episode Date: June 4, 2024

Uncle Si shaved down to his cheeks with an actual razor over the weekend, though Martin is intrigued by the “mud flaps” that were left on Si’s face. Stone seriously recommends a therapeutic butt whooping for adults and John-David gives a vague figure of how much cash it would take for him to shave his beard off. The guys pick a new spirit animal for freshly-barbered Si and provide their own anecdotes about the body positivity movement. - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Yeah, son, you've had a big weekend, huh? Welcome back to the duck call room first and foremost. I'm uncomfortable. I'm not to be. But what happened? 1993. That's what happened. 93.

I was four. How long ago was that? 20, no 30. 31 years ago. 31 years ago? That's when I retired from the military. Yeah. And I just looked in the mirror the other morning.

And I said, you know, I'm sick of this look right here. I'm fixing to do something different. I look at him. You took a razor to your face. No, I went to my wife's hairdresser. And I said, hey, just trim me up and make me neat looking. Yeah. So that's, you know, I haven't had my hair cut or a beard best with for 31 years.

But you have not. Now you don't even have a. beard anymore. I got to get trimmed right there. I got to get a weird Godwin thing going on. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, this is like Godwin on sterile.

Like Godwin with handles. Well, this was a woman hired dresser that was doing it. What was her name? Linda. Oh, Linda. Sounds young. No, she's 77, but she doesn't look it. Right.

What does she look, 75? No. Yeah. All right. Okay. Help me, Linda. Go with Ronnie Millsap. Hey, lost in the 50s again, boys.

Oh, Lord, have mercy. So you got your hair did. Oh, hey. By a 70-trim haircut. 77-year-year-young Linda. Yep. And y'all the same age, yeah, huh? Oh, she's just a little bit older.

Yeah, she's one-year-old. Yeah. Huh. Well, you know. That's interesting. Well, how do you feel? I mean, you've had it done. How do you feel?

There's a razor that's touched your face. Yeah. Yeah. Like, you're clean-s shaving on the sides. For those listening. Yep. He has a goatee with like a... It's a whole most of a goatee.

Neck thing. It needs to be trimmed up and made it look like. He's got like a goatee with mudflats. Yeah, with mudflat. That's right. Kind of like fender flares almost. Do you like it? Huh?

Yeah. Does Christine like it? Uh, she don't care. She didn't like rub your face or nothing. She didn't. No, she just looks and laughed. She don't care. Okay.

The only thing that one of me cared about is that. Hey, have me your check. Have me your checkbook. Or hand me a credit card. There we go. As long as you forget her birthday again. I ain't trying to pride too much. How much Linda hit you for for something like that?

About 50? I have no idea because I told us and, hey, I ain't got any money. I said, well, you'll be to tell Linda. She said, tell Linda to put it on my bill. I said, okay. So I have no idea what you're trying to tell what you caught. Man, you have an account at the barbershop, and you ain't been in 30 years. That's fantastic.

She just walked in and said, I ain't got no. money. Go ahead and shape me up. No, no, I told her. I said, I just, my wife said, hey, put it on her tail. See, you just woke up one morning, drove to your wife's, what a beautician. Salon. Hey, salon. Call your hairdresser and see if she can fit me in today to get my hair and my beard trim. I feel like I'm in the 50s.

This is fantastic. So, so, so, call your hair dresser up. She did. She said, well, let me check my color. She said, I got a bunch of, you know, Pullman. Then she come back and she said, hey, you know, show up at 1.30 unless I call you back. I said, okay. So you were there at 1.15.

Well, I was there about 120. And I sat out there listening to radio. Then I went at 1.30 here. I walked in. How long did that take? It looked like it would take some time. Oh, it took her about 30 minutes. 30 minutes.

And my wife, woman, she said, hey, don't get to talking. stories swapping stories with her. Why not? Because if you do, you'll come back, you won't have no hair on your head, or you, or you bigger. I bet she told Linda the same thing. Well, no, she didn't tell her.

You put two storytellers together. Y'all going to be there, man. You would have made a great barber, by the way. Oh, yeah. You cut hair for a living. You can tell stories. I would butcher somebody with a haircut. The entertainment might be working.

All you would hear, all you would hear was, oops, sorry about that. Oops. Sorry. Oh, man. Goathe? I noticed one thing, though. What?

You know, I don't know how the guy that shows them in the old westerns. Uh-huh. Well, they would take a straight razor, okay? You don't leather up and tell them her, you know. Is that what she did to you? Well, no. Oh, thank goodness. No, she done it was, you know, electric.

Oh, she took a pair of clipp. See, I'm feeling over there, and when it gets the feeling rough, I got a razor, and I'm trying to. Oh, so now. you're maintaining this look. Oh. Yeah. We got a new look. The emperor got a new groove, baby.

I feel like we've entered the twilight. Right. You know, it's hard to say, okay, let me get it in it. I see it's been a minute because your face is a little red. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, you said, think about it. That hadn't happened for like 31 years.

And then for 24 and a half years, I used to scrape it every morning. See, I don't think we're supposed to do that. No. Scrap your face? Yeah, that seems weird. Oh, Phil said that a long time. Yeah, I'm with Phil. God didn't have a man go a beard to shave it.

Well, that's just because he didn't, you know. Well, that's his take. You want to put forth any effort. That's a, that's a quasi laziness slash hygiene issue. Hygiene. Not a, not biblical. Key word, hygiene. I mean, it's not biblical.

I mean, there's a verse. You're right there when you said that he wears hygiene. Yeah. He wears it all right. He missed that one on cleanliness. Yeah. That's interesting. But, I mean, there's no reason to shave your beard every day.

I don't think. I mean, let it go. Well, it's just rough on your face. It's rough on everything. Yeah. Yeah. All it. Wait till you go, wait till it gets cold if you maintain that look.

And you go get them cheeks out in that wind the first time. That's the only thing. But it'll be back. Wait until you got to buy. There wasn't a whole lot of hair on them cheeks anyway. No. But there wasn't until there wasn't. Because now it just looks weird looking at it.

Yeah. side was with no hammered go on it Well you look thinner I told her I said hey you know Matt's Matt see this

she's there I said match it over here there you go and so we're left with just the side flanks yeah and like you told me

that then she left the little bit up there it looked like how much hair they cut off yeah what's your hair look like

you still got a ponytail oh hey but I mean yeah right around here you know there ain't no hair

oh yeah no look at it She just lowered them ears a little bit She took them and dropped them on down just a little bit I think but I'd be yeah You ought to just get that whole thing Yeah, yeah, get that whole thing shaved up there

Shave his whole head? Save the whole head. No, no. There's a, there's a, uh, some men Leave the ponies test. You know, ballhead. Mm-hmm. Hey, Godwin looks all right though.

Godwin does. Godwin looks okay. He doesn't. He don't shave his clean though. He does the- He leaves just a little bit of fudge around the head. Yeah. He don't go.

Yeah, I mean, I'm obviously bawled up top. I ain't ever tried to hide that for me. I'm just not ready for the commitment of going clean shaving. Well, no, no. Once you make, that is an everyday thing. No, no, think about that. You'd have to do your head every day. Every day.

Every single day. And I'm not ready for that. They got the advertisement on TV right now that they're doing the five. Oh, yeah, you're getting there. The five cutters on the head shaving. There's no necks, no cuts, and no blood on that? I don't believe that. Oh, mine's going to get it.

I got more surface area. I was going to look at size of his head. Can you imagine mine bald? I'm like that poor 17-pound bowling ball at the bowling now that don't ever get used. Nobody. Hey, hey. It's too heavy. You know, it's just too big.

There's too much of it, you know. Gina's husband. Gina. His name was Mark. Richard. Richard Hedrick. okay he had cancer it finally got him but look it was so cool okay

when he had cancer was going through you'll lose your hair take him on all that well she shaved her head oh to be with him to be with him that's cool no no it was right now she looked good ball-headed now this is a good looking woman okay

but hey didn't do a thing for her shave her head she looked good yeah some people look good their ball-headed. Yeah. And you got those like me. If I was a ball-headed, you'd scare you if you saw it.

I don't know. Like Britney Spears. Well, hey. What you got against Britney Spears? When she went bald, it was not the look for her. Oh, it wasn't a good look for her? Yeah, she was not one of them.

She's one that, yeah, hair makes a difference. Well, Gina, Gina's personality goes with what she did. Yeah. Because she is a fabulous person. Hey. And she did it for her husband,

you know, And she made, You know, it was Did it for all the right reasons. I can appreciate that. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's interesting.

Oh, it was cool. My man. Like this, y'all. Hey. My man got razor burn on one side of his face. It's fantastic. No, no. It wasn't.

God, I love you. Man. Oh, no, it wasn't for I would have right stupid. Huh? Y'all and I was always either pulling a few that what did grow out with tweezers. Yeah.

Or shaving them, you know. Three, you're three of them. like my chest. You know? I ain't got, you know, my wife said, hey, when I've seen three of them one day, I was so proud of the three hairs that grew on my chest. So are you like hairless everywhere but your head and face?

Yeah. I mean, because I know your legs ain't. I know your legs ain't got nowhere. He looked like one of them weird cats. They put his microphone back on. I've just been holding my microphone. Hey, and Google that Mexican hairless cat. I mean, I think that's where,

I think that is actually size spirit animal. He need to get one. I think that needs to be your new... Oh, it wasn't my spirit animal. I'll tell you what, done that. I said it starts fatigues. Even on your chest? Hey.

You got hair on your arms? Huh? A little bit, not much. Oh. Why is that cat Mexican? Ain't that what they call it? The Mexican? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, right. Look, now, I don't know why he's Mexican. It looked like somebody shaved him, but he didn't. He just don't grow hair. Yeah, that's sigh. If we shave your head, that's you. Look at that jaw. and you already got it.

Look, we've said, y'all line. It's just a bald black panther. Look at the eyes. That's what I like. I know. You got them pretty eyes? Oh, yeah. Oh, man, that's an ugly cat.

That is an ugly cat. See, some things need hair on them. That's it. That's right. But like, some animals were cool and went extinct, and this one's still around. Five hair. Oh, yeah, who's going to kill it? Everyone should.

The thing's terrifying. You're going to get close enough? What does it prove? What does the harness cat prove? I don't know. Okay. Oh, you won't. want me to go down the article.

Well, I'm just saying. They said it proves something. Well, what did it prove? I don't know. That looks like something that may end up with one of the computer viruses on that. You can be ugly and still make it, I guess. You know, that's a group of humans that's, you know, really don't get a fair shake. You know it?

What? Cat people? Ugly people. Oh. You know, they all the time whining about, oh, you're discriminating against, you know, this and that. What about the ugly people? nobody says nothing about them we keep our mouth shut

that's right I mean we probably fall into that category I don't know I do have been times for sure I've never seen an ugly person in the Sports Illustrated swim suit edition

that's because you ain't got it in the day made all right look springtime is here it's warming up you know what that means that means more outside cooking and y'all know we love to eat beef around here and that's what because of our friends over at try tails beef makes such a good

product baby ain't it good it's so good it's our friend sall robertson would say buy on the grill look before we got tritels getting ready for a cookout man somebody had to run the grocery store do all the things grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day and you never really know where that beef come to them but with tritels beef we skip the grocery store and do it a different way Tritails comes from a family ranch out in Texas. They're a fifth generation American ranch, so they've been at it for a while. Now, look, the beef comes straight from their ranch and other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way. Their steaks are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door.

We threw a couple of ribbys on the grill. Look, salt, pepper, garlic, hot fire, that's all you need. Look, because I tell you what, when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living, you can taste the difference. The tenderness and the flavor are fantastic. So if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season, go check out Triedails beef. I know in size case Christine loves it,

which is just a, she doesn't eat meat. Yeah, she isn't a big meat easier, folks. Yeah. Just go to trybeef.com slash. That's tribeef.com slash support ranch families and eat some dang good steak. Have you watched TV? Have you tried to watch TV show lately?

How many ugly people are cast in a, like, what do you call them things that play during the day? Soap opera? Yeah. Not many. Every once while the soap operas get on the TV at the Honeyhole on accident and they're all often mostly attractive people. Have you seen an ugly person on there?

No, if there is, it's because they have a specific role for an ugly person, which that means they're being discriminated against. Just because of the way they look. Am I wrong? Call the Ugly Company. I'm with you. They're ugly fobs. I watched heavyweights on Disney Plus last night.

Oh, wow. Heavy weights. That's a great movie. That is a good one, especially when they get on that blob. Boom, wasn't that the name of it? The blob. What is this show called? Heavy weights from like Ben Stiller when he bought the fat camp in like 1993.

You would really? I never say it. Can you call them fat camps anymore? I feel like if they made the movie heavyweights today, everybody that even was a part of it would get canceled. It's like Dodgeball or the summer camp, you know, the movie Dodgeball? It's for fat kids. Yeah.

Yeah. It's like, it's just like the average. Joe's versus 12. And they go to fat camp and it's a nice place. Well, then Ben Stiller buys it and he's not nice to the kids. And it's- Sounds incredible. Because he was a former fat kid reformed.

I see me in each of you. Hey, welcome to your human race. We're not nice. Better. The 90s, you could make fun of people. We're a bunch of racist. Why you got to keep going racist today?

I'm just saying, hey, the human race is, hey, we're bad. Now they say fat being fat is a good thing. Have you heard that? I heard that somewhere. You know, as a former fat person myself, nobody ever told me that while I was heavier. No. Get out of there!

A former? Oh, I. Oh, no. I think they spin it, they call it body positivity. Yeah, I'm body positive. Because on the chart now, on the chart now, I'm just overweight.

I'm no longer. morbidly obese. Obes. Oh, you're not obese. I'm not obese. I'm just overweight. Hey, that's a big move. Boom.

Well, no, it is. You've come off of the obese list. We're overweight. Now, the problem with that chart is they think everybody should be a basketball player or something. I don't know. Ain't many of a 6.5 shape like that where 210 is your ideal weight. Like it's like, I think according to the chart, I'm supposed to weigh 190. Yeah, no.

So you're going to look. That's going to take me a second. Remember when Gimber lost all that weight and he looked like a bobblehead? Yeah. I don't like that look. Well, you got to exercise. You got muscle and that's going to make you heavier. I thought he was on his way out when I've seen him.

I'm serious. Gimber got healthy. He got healthy. I thought the boy was on his way out. Yeah. It was a weird look. He looks. He looks better now.

I felt the same way when Jay's shaved. Yeah. Oh, no, no. That was hilarious. You know? Nobody knew who Jace was. And I'm scared if you went all the way, I'd probably feel the same.

way about you. Well, no, no, I would look real bad if I, yeah. You look like one of the past. I don't think so. But how much would it take to get the rest of it off of it? Huh? What about something like you? For a nominal fee, I would shave it off.

That's what I'm saying. How much we got to raise? That's right. Looks, I just trim it up like it. It would have to be in the, uh, seven digits. Seven. Good gracious. Wow.

Hey, I'd do it for four. You ain't as poor as I am. You do it for what? $4. Four digits. I fix it. I got four dollars on her right now. He probably got four digits on him too.

Actually, just because I'm sitting next to you, I'm going to say five, just in case you pull out some money. You're getting up right now. You're getting up very close now. Yeah, you better get away from what he may have in his pocket. He may make you prove it right here. Oh, no. Yeah. I carry a little cash.

I'm scared my face is. I carry a little cash just in case what happened when I was just fixed to get ready to walk out the door with the phone rang. What happened? You know, and I went over there and I was going to pick it up, and I said, no. poker goes, you know, a light come on to leave a message and it says, oh, by the way, if you're interested, there is a game tonight.

Oh, boy. Well, if you're going to get his money, get it now because he ain't going to have it. I'm going to say, I might not have it later. That's right. He's going to have to wait until tomorrow until he can go re-up at the bank. See, I'm scared to shave my face, though. Wow.

Because I haven't seen my face. I saw a picture the last time I shaved it was 12 years ago. Wow. And I need to lose like 10 more pounds before I shave it. I'm afraid I'd be like a fat person. Here was the thing I haven't seen my face. He didn't want to see it. He looked just like my older brother, Harold Gene Robertson.

When he shaved. When he shaved his beer. Yeah. That was a wild look. Yeah. Is that the one? Jason went everywhere after that and nobody even gave him a second look. Was that the brother that didn't eat seconds?

Didn't have what? Seconds? That was time. Tommy, okay, because Jay's looked like he ain't ever had seconds when he shaved. I looked like he skipped first time. Well, no, no, Tommy didn't have seconds because Nancy never did cooking. You know, you got, you know, you got a spoon of green beans, a spoon of rice. Is it having a spoon of, you know, whatever.

One helping of everything in and, hey, wasn't nothing left. I mean, right there he kind of looked like Gomer Pyle. I was about saying he looked like he dated Mary Poppins. No, no, no, he looks just like Harold. Gene Robertson right there. Okay. Oh, wow. What a life.

He has got a mean streak to him, just like howl. Who, Jace? Jay's, yeah. Chase ain't mean. Oh, Wiley, maybe. Caniving. No. No, conniving is that.

He just called him Wiley in the year 2024. The instigator. Oh, and now, yeah. Al will bait the trap. He'll bait the trap, and he'll start. A third of pot. Oh, yeah. No, he's good at it.

Yeah. And he's, no, he excels at it. Okay, he ain't good. He excels at it. Well, the best part about him, though, is he gives as good as he gets. Oh, that's what I can appreciate about out. He doesn't. He don't, I mean.

You don't need to give it out if you can't take it with the robbery. Yeah. I mean, he tried to hide it all in with invest, but he give out plenty, you know. Invest. That's what that vest is saying every time he puts it on. It's plenty. You need to lose a little weight. YKK zippers, for sure.

Them are on brand. Going to change them K's with X if he ain't careful. What? I said he's going to change them K's into X if he ain't careful. This is true. Instead of one X, he's going to need both of them. That's all right. Maybe he's trouble.

Oh. Nah, you don't go. That 3X, that's a different world. That was over at Philly K's the other day. I walked in. You know, Kay's been struggling a little bit with their feet. Uh-huh. So I walk in, she's sitting on the edge of the chair looking around.

I said, okay, you need some help? She said, I can't scoot back in my chair. So I go over there and lift her up, put her back in the chair. About that time, Phil walks him. He said, all I can say is, that's a lot of weight. Bill Roberts scares me. Oh, my God. He said that?

Yeah. In front of her. In front of her. She just went, oh. Yeah. Oh, he said. that both of us. He don't mean

he don't mean nothing but. Yeah he does. That's just him. Hey, that's just him. As a young high school boy at church one time, I once had Phil Robertson

show up to teach a class, which is a wild ride in and of itself, but we're all in high school and he goes, boys, let me tell you what you need in life. And he said,

Jesus Christ and a plump woman. And he said, did you just say that? And he said, there is a lot of truth. He said skinny women can't cook. I say there's a lot of truth to that. He goes, old Miss Kay used to be a cheerleader. Now I got her where I want her. That's hilarious.

It was why. He always used to find you on them homely. A homely one that's plump. He says she ain't going to run off. Yes. Lord, have mercy. Are you in NOFT? You know, Miss Kaye used to have a group come over.

The muffins is? Yeah, the muffins. And they were all a little, you know, on the big side. Phil walked in one day I was there. He said, Stone. He said, Miss Kay is running with them heavy sisters. And when I say heavy, I mean heavy. He said it right in front of them.

Heavy shot. And they just looked at him and rolled their eyes and went on about their business. He's crazy. He's the only person I know. He's going to come out and say whatever he's taking. Hey, no filter. None. No filter.

We'd get back from duck hunting. He said, oh, the muffins are still in there. He said, I guess ain't nobody got to crying yet. He said, it ain't over till they get to crying. You all got to have a good cry, then they leave. He said, once they get to crying, then they start moving on out of here. I mean, he's a legend. You got to think about this, okay.

That's what I have. had by a whole life growing up. I don't know how you made it out. I'm serious. Phil and Kay got that from mom and dad. They were like, I'm serious. I'm serious.

It was just something about, okay, you know, hey. Just straightforward honesty. Yeah. Just ripping each other. Hey,

that's just young. Make it or leave it. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you know, I don't know how many times I've been called a fat boy by him. It don't bother me.

He don't bother me because he's not wrong. Well, hey, he's, no, no, he don't mean nothing by him. No, he is. Just him. He is an observationist who this speech. He's just saying what he sees. Yeah. Yeah, if he sees it, he says it.

That's all right. Sometimes that's not always the best policy in life. But if he sees something, he's going to say something. And you better have like a pretty successful TV show, ministry, and lots of other things. For most of you listening, you can't pull this off. And it helps if you're over the age of 65, because our generation has just written you off as, hey, you've made it and say whatever you want to,

none of us care. Right. My favorites, if somebody's talking and he don't like what they're saying or what they're saying doesn't make a whole lot of sense, he'll grab that TV remote and go. Just turn it up. He'll turn that TV up as loud as it again.

Put it on 80. No. And then if they don't leave, he'll get something to go to bedroom, go to sleep. That's hilarious. But the TV's still on 80. Turn it back down. Yeah.

You don't turn it down. That boy's wild, man. Oh, he does his same thing riding in a vehicle. If whoever's up there in a shotgun seat with him, if they get talking about something he'll want to hear, he'll be around and take that dial. Yeah. Which ain't a bad thing unless you're riding on the backseat on a road trip with you.

You're like, all right now. Back there was a speaker. You're going to have to turn that mess down. Yeah. Like, I rode with that man all the way to Nebraska, and he didn't want to hear what Jeff had to say. Yeah. And I'm back there just getting my eardrums.

Hounded. He just turned it up all the way? Buddy, for like eight hours. We finally got out. I said, Phil, he said, yeah. I said, yeah, we get back in there. You mind turning that down a little bit? He said, oh, oh, is it loud on you back there?

I was like, well, yeah, half time is static because back in satellite radio wouldn't a thing. So, like, you know, we're just searching through the middle of Kansas for radio stations. Just letting her bump. Yeah. Wow, man. legendary. Talking about World of Warcraft and so, you know,

Jeff used to be. Well, I'm sure he still is different than the rest of the other. You know what that? They was drunk one night. Uh-oh. Yeah. Oh.

Jeff and Thiel and whoever he was one with. Oh. They were drunk. BC. Earned the pickup over. Flip it. Okay. And they're in a ditch.

Okay. And it's upside down. And he had, I think it was, God, Joe South or somebody back in them days, and he went, you know, to pick up his upside down,

they're all buckled in, luckily. I don't know why they did. His guy name was Joe Sal. Yeah, yeah. And he was on the radio. And he said, and everybody was talking about, what?

Is the truck going to blow up? And he said, you mean he stood over and turn that dial wide over? He said, listen to that sucker whale. Right. Then he jumps out. Okay. flipped the pickup over back on the point of you got inside and hit with a fist to beat the cab out where he came in cranked it up check the oil cranked it up there it is on the way

that was back in that was back in the bad days so you're telling me upside down his biggest concern was turning the radio up oh yeah yeah yeah he said sh sh sh who's the man everybody said what is it is a truck fin blow him and they said no he said listen that boy, well. And then they flip the car over. Of course, that's back. That's back when you could flip one and the car would survive. Yeah, nowadays, if you put the car, it's in 800 pieces. Yeah.

No, it's a crackerjack box. Yeah, they was made with real sheet metal back in. Oh, yeah. Now it's made out of like recycled shotguns or something. When you hit one back then, hey. Yeah, we're talking bent, fender, whatever, you know. Yeah, it wasn't that big of a deal. Wasn't no big deal.

You just dealt. That's why one of his saying was, hey, don't worry about it. It'll buff right out. It would buff out. He said, don't mow that grass. Yeah, he said, hey, don't worry about the grass. Frost to get it. Frost to get it.

He told, he told, he told, stoned that dent would buff out of his truck, too. Yeah. That one was out. I was, oh, that was, I remember, because I was, I was thinking that guy's crazy. He got waved in between two trees. He got waged in between and tore the doors off the pickup, all this other crap. He said, I am getting out of it. where,

Vervor. Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. Then that down the road he got up, the floor was popped up against the street. Oh, yeah, Al did that. He got the red ass. How old at the door? No, he just told the truck.

Oh, this was 15 minutes of this. Oh, boom, boom, bow, boom, bow. Once he hit it the first time, he's like, you know what? And then he hit it the second time. And then it was like, you got, too tight in between two trees. We were trying to turn around, leave the duck hole.

Remember that old brown truck? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And he just went for it. We laughed. Oh, yeah. No, we're all standing there.

He's going down the road with the right side door gone, laying on the kids the street. He's carrying on. Oh, yeah. He drove it all the way to house. Yeah. And cow hands.

That guy's crazy. That's his father in life. Yeah. I parked my truck 20 yards behind Phil's truck. He backed up 20 yards and ran right into it. Oh, I never. And he said, I told y'all not to be parking behind me. Have you ever known, has any of your family members accepted blame for anything?

No, that's the first thing you want to do is, okay. Who's responsible for this crap that just happened? And it's not them. And everybody, it goes around and then it says, hey, wait a minute. Hey, somebody in this group is responsible for what happened. You're going to fess up or not? And always ended up me gobbing or stalled. Hey, everybody's.

Notice a correlation there? Yeah. That's it. Wrong last name. That's it. I noticed that about when I first started working for Willie. I was like, man, he sure likes to cover his tracks on what's going to be somebody else's fault.

Well, Phil's boats. Because he's been blamed for our stuff, it's all life. Phil's boat sat in his boat house for three months, and then it sunk. I am the one that put it in there. Three months ago. Then it sunk, and then all of a sudden I left the plug out of it. It sat in there for three months before it sank. I remember the day it happened, he said, them two fat boys.

Me and Gobble in there. Let me tell you something. Me and Gobbon. Me and Gobbon getting a boat without a plug in it. That ain't going to happen. water's coming in. Yeah, it's going to sink then. Let me just tell you right now.

Yeah, it's going to sink then. We're going to have wet feet, wet knees, wet everything. It wouldn't us. That's a good point. And then he come back. He did quasi-apologize a couple of weeks later. It wasn't a real one. He said, oh, yeah, that wasn't y'all.

That was Red's kids. They finally fessed up to it. I mean, he didn't say, I'm sorry, but that's as close to apologies. You don't get out. I mean, I would take that. Oh, I did. Oh, yeah. I said, hey.

ain't no problem. I just said, I knew I didn't do it. Other than that, I ain't got no clue of who did it, but I know it wouldn't mean. And then he did give me kudos on time. I knocked because where I tied it up, the boat sank, but the rope was still holding it, so the boat didn't go nowhere.

It just sunk down in a boat slip. Good night. He said, that's a good notch you tied on there. Yeah. That's as close to an apology as you will ever get out of Phil Robertson. It's an admission of wrong, kind of. Kind of. And then a thumbs up on knock time.

Blame assess to somebody else. Yeah, just keep putting it around. Who knows who really did it? I was like, well, Jay, Sal, and all of them were growing up. Okay, there was three things that you'd get your butt whoop far. Uh-oh.

Line? No. Stealing. Well, one of them was breaking any of the equipment. Oh, Lord. Like a boat paddle, anything that you tore up, you got your butt, you got your bow. I don't remember.

They tear up stuff more than anybody I know. Yeah. But hey, I'm going to tell. They didn't learn a single lesson. They learn plenty. Now they just got the money to replace it. Yeah. I told him to his face.

I said, you got good friends, son. Because that day that they all got drunk. Oh. Okay. And got caught. That's one of the greatest stories of the time. Hey, you know, Phil shows up, you know, apologized to all the parents and all that.

And then I said, hey, you know, if you want to. come to my house, you'll get down there, you're going to get your butt to up too. If I'd have been to Al's friend, yours truly would not show up and let Phil Roberts, if you want to hang out right here anymore.

Yeah, I said, Al, it's been nice knowing you, but hey, I'm out of here. How many kids that weren't his that he worked that day? That's about five or seven of them. And how old were they? That's 15, 16 years. Phillips was one of them.

Oh, yeah, W.E. He's part of that. W.E. was one of them. I can't even remember the guy, the boy's name. Yep. He had just come on board. And Phil said, I don't know who you are, but Bill over that thing. And you're just way out, way out, way out, way out.

You know? Funny thing is happening. People ended up working for Phil. No, no. That is true. Well, I said, hey, I'm impressed. He said, what are you talking about? I said, you have got some good friends, son.

I said, because I, if I'd have been one of them that was in that little fiasco, I said, I wanted to show up for a butt with your dad. I say now they get to tell everybody I got my butt with my Phil Robertson. And not even, and not an old Phil Robertson. That's like, oh, no, no, no. 35-year-old prime Phil Robertson.

Hey, this was when he had arms and he looked just like Popeye. His forearms was twice as big as his biceps from pulling them nets up in that river. I bet that hurt. And I don't think all the mean. Hey, hey, he was mad. He was mad, okay? Because, hey, he knows what drinking does.

Yeah. So, hey, he put it on them boys. Okay. I'm talking about, hey, there was whelps. Hey, I would say, though, that, my neighborhood and I didn't have no Phil Robertson, my neighborhood is the same way. My whole street had permission to whip my blood.

Oh, no, no. At any given time. Back in that day? And the problem with that is when they did it, then you got another one when you're going to get home on top of that one when you get home they couldn't just let you have one yeah you got it from them and then they told your parent and he parents like no come on see that was that was back in the day like you're talking about hey you act a fool up in the in the community oh yeah well hey whoever watched you doing it hey he comes out there and pulls his belt and wears your butt out and then said

hey i'll call your dad and let him know what happened and then said oh You don't know how to do that. Yeah, the whole road right. Please don't. Yeah, if you've already whooped me, don't do it. Oh, yeah, I'm going to tell him. Nobody ever. Nobody ever whooped me that wasn't my dad because I was the son of the scary man at the end of the street.

So they just let him know. And I was like, it's over anyway. Some school got in trouble for making kids basically work out as punishment. And I was like, that's all we did. There was a kid that got suspended from my school in Coach Bristow. Instead of suspending him, he said, just meet me in the long jump pit. And he was like, what are we going to do? Jump in the sand.

You can't jump no more. And that was a punishment at school. And I was like, well, I ain't doing whatever he did because I don't want to do that. Here's what that gets me on that, okay. That's what I grew up with, okay? And I didn't turn out that bad. It didn't, it didn't scar me and it didn't, you know. No.

You know, everybody needs boundaries. and when you overstep them boundaries, you need to get your butt. There needs to be consequences. J'all have to run suicides. Oh, hey, if they could think of it, we did it. Boy, you never realize how many yard lines on a football field until you got to touch every one of them.

No, no. Bally flops. Yeah. Pop, pop, pop, pop. And then do it until you can't even, barely can move. Until you start puking, yeah. Yeah.

Then they may with some old. Even as stupid as teenagers are. oh, hey, it'll finally get through. You catch on pretty quick when you're doing a lap of lunges. Yeah. It'll get to you and say, oh, yeah, I think I'll. Then they got clever and added bear crawls to the mix too. You bar crawl to the five, then to the ten.

Did your dad have any weird punishments for you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I have one. My dad made me pick up sticks in the woods. Oh, see, that's, like, just go out there. I don't want to run over anything. Pick up all the sticks. That's the old military thing. Dad.

See that pile of rocks? Yeah. Hey, there it is. Pick the pile of rocks up and move it over. That's the one I had. And just about the time you get the last one, said, ah, yeah, I changed my mind. Put it over there.

You know where they still do that? Fort Leavenworth. Moving rocks? Levin word. Ours. They move rock from one spot. It gets your attention. When I was a kid, they did the whole,

my parents had the whole yard prepped and put down sod and everything. and one of our punishments was he'd hand us a coffee can on them big metal folders and he'd have to go fill it up with rocks. So it takes a lot of rocks to fill up. Oh yeah. Because his lawnmower, he didn't want to run over. He didn't want to ding his blade on his lawnmower. So you got that.

The problem is you'd fill it up and you take it to him and I'm like, okay, I'll go dump him. And he's, no, I'll dump him. I swear he went back every night after we went to bed and threw him back out there. I don't know whatever happened to them cans or rocks, but I never saw the rock pile. Yeah. But I know I picked them up, buddy.

And I know every time I'd be so mad, I was like, I was trying to then find the big ones so you wouldn't have to pick up as many up. Man, it's amazing. You put rocks in a can, they find their way all the way to bottom. It don't matter you.

Mom, okay, that's why when people say, God hasn't got a sense of humor, he does. Because he made a bush grow in my yard when I was growing up. that grew switches. Perfect. Okay, and hey, I hated that bush.

Okay, I would rather she took a bat and beat me. I'm serious. My punishment was I had to go pick the instrument of what I was fixing to get whooped with. Oh, yeah. I had to do that with my grandma. And I just, you know, I picked one there that lasted about six months. Look. Boy, that's a good, ma'am.

Oh, no. And I, it broke. My mama cried, I'm serious, she cried the day it broke and said, boy, that was a good one. I must have tore your butt up 100,000 times with that switch. All she would do was this, and it would just be eating them legs alive. I looked like I had laid down and wallowed in a nest of a, what's them stupid, little red things that eat you up?

Ants? Sugar. Cigures. Oh, those are one. It looked like I had just bathed them. Them legs would be solid red from the ankle to the knee. And I mean, they ain't wasn't. We all know you ain't got no hair on.

Oh, no. No protection. All she was doing was this, and it was just eating me alive. Well, Johnny D. What's in that inbox? What we got in? Oh, let me find a few. It's been a little bit since we've been in there hard.

I got quite a few. I got quite a few. But I wasn't quite ready because I was. It was too busy listening to... Well, to the folks that care, you know, I heard we got hockey coming back here to Munra. Mark, I need to text somebody, but we are getting some sort of professional hockey back in Monroe, Louisiana.

Speaking of people that just like to go fight... Hockey players, there's nothing better than Canadians just trying to make it in hockey that have to live in Louisiana because they're just going to fight everybody. Yeah, they're mad anyway. They walk outside and get mad. He's about five years old.

They had a plastic goalie standing in front of the goal. He couldn't get that puck past that goalie. He threw down, I mean, it was real. He didn't put it on. He threw that stick down and went to wailing on that, on that plastic goalie. I'm telling. That looks like my youngest right there. Did you ever go to, the Bocasans games back in the 90s?

Yeah, what was that? It was 90. 20 years ago. Oh, yeah. I think they don't go to watch hockey. Oh, it's so much. Oh, yeah. They go to watch the fight that break out.

Oh, right. I went to a few of them. I just never understood what we're going. That's why half on the deal. I didn't either, but when they started fighting, it was fun. Yeah, now I understand the rules of hockey a little bit. I've watched enough of it to kind of, I get it now. Well, Brittany from Nashville, so, you know, they're all.

A lot of ice in Nashville. Yeah, there's, for some reason, hockey fans, they got them predators or whatever. I'm pretty sure the Stanley Cup is between, like, Florida and Edmonton, which is ridiculous. Anyways. A long, long gap. Ladies and gentlemen, if Monroe is actually getting hockey back, which I think they just announced today, your boy's going to be there all the time it's just fun

Cory from good old Paris Texas Texas Texas Paris Texas I've been there I have fake Eiffel towers that I'm pretty sure just like oil rigs he said he's oh wow that's today

he's passing through Westman Road today he wants to know if you can meet us good luck man we might be in the parking lot in a little bit anyways he's 17 and he just finished his junior of high school. Going into his senior year, he's always wanted to be a game warden.

But as it's getting closer, I'm starting to doubt that a little bit. What do we think about if he should be a game warden or not? If you are, be one of the cool ones. Yeah. Well, I would say this.

That's a dangerous profession. It is. You've got to have a couple of screws loose because every time you walk up on somebody. Game one get wounded. Yeah. Then cops. Now look, hey, I, in all serious, we make a lot of jokes about game wardens.

I appreciate what they do for protecting our game and the stuff that we chase. They got a job to do. They do have a job to do. And, you know, we as humans always stretch the lengths of those jobs. Like, there's a reason for them. Just a lot of times, their presentation's a little poor. But that's probably because they deal with a lot of people that present themselves poorly, too. Now, most of my interactions with Game Morton's are 100% positive, I will say.

But I'm always nice. I understand they have a job to do. And my job for them is to get them away from me as quickly as possible. Because I want to get back to doing whatever I was doing that they walked up on, like dove hunting or fishing or whatever else. And so, but we do, I mean, Corey, we need, we need Game Warner, especially if you like to hunt and fish because a lot of them now don't necessarily enjoy the thing. that we enjoy. There's a lot of them that are more, um, don't really care that we hunt or fish

anymore. Oh, they don't want you to. Yeah. And same way with biologists and everything else. They call them in their, in their world, they call them the hook and bullet biologist and wardens. They're just not as many of them anymore. Um, so if you hunt and fish, you love all things natural, I would say, hey man, if that was always your dream, at least give it a shot. You don't, you don't have to continue to do it, but give it a shot and see if that's what, what the good Lord has for you. Side met one down in South Texas, Game Lord.

He's still talking about her. Yeah. Shian's, hey. He just, he gave it to him. Hey, look.

Hey. Hey. Okay. You wouldn't marry. You wouldn't do nothing. I'd be, speaking of married, people.

If I wouldn't married, I'd still be sitting here running my mouth. I was talking like I did. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

at a restaurant having a big filet mignon steak. I'll take every dollar that you wouldn't. Anyways, before it gets too weird, Cole emails in. Him and his wife are military, and he has a request, and it's the first time anybody's ever requested this. She's out, but she's going to be back home soon, and the best gift he could think of was Uncle Siah saying, welcome back home, you good-looking Ethiopian.

Those are his words? That's what it's. Hey, look here. Good looking Ethiopian. Welcome on, baby. I wish I was there to give you a hug when you come in. There it is. Hey.

You ask, I deliver. I delivers. Thank you both for your service. Thank you for your service, even though he did say rolled tied. That's fine. I don't know how we got Ethiopian Alabamaans serving in our military, but that's what makes America great. I guarantee you, a melting pot, baby.

I can appreciate that. I can appreciate all the things he got. I just, here's, here's a problem aside. If you give him a script, he's going to say it. It may be twisted a little bit. Hey, but that's the good part of it. He's going to, he is going to say what you write and tell him to say. I will say that.

When I saw good looking Ethiopian, I was like that, I'm going to pull that one out. Say her name? It does not say her name. Oh, okay. Their last name are the discos. Her name don't matter. Not the cool disco. It's a beautiful.

That's all you got to remember, boys. Well, regardless. Of the female. And welcome home. And good-looking Ethiopia. I'm just going to say welcome home. All right. 18 from El Paso.

Yoquin? Yoquan? Hard to say. Not sure which. He has a question for everyone in the duck call room. Recently has suffered his first major heartbreak. And he's been pretty depressed lately. I really love this girl, but she's really upset at me and hates me right now.

But I love her so much. I was wondering what I should do to win her back or if I should move on. Just move on, man. Yeah, you're 18, big dog. Wait a minute. What do you mean, move on? Move on.

The boy said he loves her. So he did something that really, well, hey. And I, look, they don't hate you because it was me, not you. You did something. Yep. So ask for forgiveness because that's the right thing to do. And then move on. And then if it's in the cards, it will come right on that.

Now you've changed a little bit. No, but move on from the, there is no, don't try and win them back. If you're going to win her back, you're going to push her far away. Yes, you're going to, she's going to really dislike you even more. Back in the day, I was a player. Oh, boy. What do you mean back in the day? If you're a player and you really do love her like Martin,

said I asked for forgetting this if you don't then hey you're a player hey there's a lot of more fish in the seat that's even pretty in the one you got there can I just make a just go for it kid a general observation if you're emailing in a podcast at 18 about major heartbreak and you're depressed about it you're not a player this is well hey ding i don't want to be rude yo quine don't worry about what he and i've been to El paso before it's pretty big city I mean, like, a lot of. And I would imagine there's new inflow every day.

You can become a player. You can become a player, though. Also, you don't have to be a player, but Allison dumped me one time. You know what I tried to do? Win her back. You know what that did? She had a new boyfriend. Four kids?

No, she had a new boyfriend a couple weeks later, a couple months later. After we both separated, went our own ways. We realized, hey, we do like each other. We got back together. I found in most relationships, whether it be boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, just friends and general business relationships, if there is a disagreement, give to swallow your pride, say you sorry, walk away. A lot of times in the future, that relationship turns around and comes back to you.

The ones that you try to sit there and manage and like, oh my God, this, that, those never work out. It was so great. Love me. Well, because then a lot of times you come off as weak. And it's just not a good look overall, I would say, in general. So just say, man, I'm so sorry. And this is going about your bit.

I wish you nothing but the best. And, you know, if you see them around time, hey, how are you? You know, like that kind of deal. And then you move on. And there's a lot of stories of redemption and coming back on all that kind of stuff. But sit there and dwell over it, my guy, you're 18. 18. You are in the middle of the best time period of your life, buddy.

Enjoy it, my friend. like trust me there's a new influx of women coming into El Paso every day I mean if he may be wet That was a good joke Like I'm assuming if his name's Joaquin he has a basic understanding

Of Spanish as well And he's from El Paso There you go I'm just using context clues here I'm not you're a wild man Hey hey the song says it Amarula by morning boys Just keep moving

Or you can do that That is just keep moving That is like a whole 18 countries in Europe away from El Paso. It is a long way. I know that. All right. What Bible verse you? Romans 828.

We're going to go with a real standard rig today. You know what? Yo Queen? Yoquan, however you say your name? This one's going to hit you. Romans 828. And we know that in all thing God works for the good of those who love him who have been called

according to his purpose. Hey, no matter what you're going through in life, put Jesus first and it's all going to work out. That is. That's simple. Because he's greater. than everything. Even that old girl. Even that old girl. That's that.