Duck Call Room - Uncle Si Takes Sides in the Taylor Swift Rigging Conspiracy

Episode Date: February 1, 2024

Uncle Si led the German police to think he was a serial killer by leaving a bloody mess in the basement of his apartment building! Phillip exposes the things Si does in his kitchen that everyone agrees should usually be done outside. John-David waffles on giving up something that’s been important to him his whole life and Martin sacrifices something special for his wife because she definitely earned it with her toughness. Phillip gives a health update to a concerned listener and the boys pick what scent each other’s candles would be if they had one named after themselves. - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're going to run everybody? Back to our roots, people. Ladies and gentlemen, we're back, and the only person listening to us and the only supervision we have today is Hunter. The only one we need. Hey, Hunter. And I'm on steroids right now for an ear infection,

so I'm all over the place. You do look ripped. Oh, he's going to be back. Have you been working? No. Your Death Star shirt barely fits. That's not funny. Dead Star.

I like your Death Star. Star shirt. I pointed it out. The Death Star is cool. What do you mean? It barely fits. I mean, your arms are so big from your ear infection. It's wild, man. He's like, I don't feel good, but look at my guns. Ear infection is going around. But looking at it, you skip leg down. I'm serious. They are. They are because my wife just got back from the doctor. My wife did too. And two weeks ago, I had it, air infection. Hey, what? I'm glad to be here today. I am too. I missed y'all. What I didn't see you. Why are you glad to be here? I'm glad to be here. I figured. I figured you be sad since the lion's lost.

I don't really care. I've given up watching football. You know what I did yesterday? But they were a better story, right? Well, yeah. Yeah. I thought they, I think I'm done. With football?

I think Stone figured something out. Uh-oh. But he doesn't seem happy either, so maybe not. Yeah, you got that right. Whatever he's doing, don't do that. That's right. Don't go in his route. I mean, remember, I quit watching ball playing, but he started rasseling, and it just,

I don't want to do that. But I'm just, I'm going to do that. I quit watch ballplay. That's his therapy. Don't mess with his therapy. I ain't messing with things I don't mess with. That's so he don't hit all of us. Wild jungle cats and Jay Stone.

That's why he don't hit us? Not going to touch either one of them. So why are you off the ball playing, you think? I just don't like it. Like you're going to drop it cold turkey? No, I'm going to keep watching it and be mad about it. All right. Well, Stone's got a point.

Anything that has to do with the ball is going to irritate you. Yep. Like, nobody wants to see fans of the city in the Super Bowl. They've done it a hundred times. want to see him. Nobody wants to say Kansas City. No, you're a Swifty.

Yeah, everybody wants to see T. Swift. And I don't. Hold it, hold, no, I don't need that. Say,

I'm not about my homie. I'm saying it right now. Hey, Taylor Swift. Everybody does like average. Cair's City. Yeah.

So you're a chief fan? Oh, yeah. You gotta love the gunsling. So you watch Patrick Mahomes Oh, I love the guns up, hey, look, I love the gunflink.

Hey. Whenever the big hell was on Saturday. Boy is the fastest gun there is. Wake up from that now. I agree. Okay. You can't beat him. He's too good.

Yeah, but. He's good. It's just like, where is a Super Bowl? Las Vegas. Las Vegas. Gar. Who's the half-time?

Usher. Oh, I'll watch it. I'm rooting for Usher and Usher alone. Hersher be tight. Oh, no. Like Brock Purdy. But more importantly, what's on the menu for your Super Bowl? That's right.

That's right. What are we going to eat? What are we going to eat? Because nobody cares. And what commercials will be good. I'll take 12. I'll take 12 hot wings. 12 hot wings.

That's your Super Bowl. Oh, yeah, with fire. Put fire in them, baby. And grilled sausage. I want that. What? Can we not talk? What's the difference between a Super Bowl and a Saturday?

To you. Oh, it don't make whatever. The day is. Hot wings and sausage? Hey. The day is irrelevant. Fire the grill up and start cooking. And look, I've got a team in the Super Bowl, do you?

You have a team in the Super Bowl. The Chiefs. They're just your team? I'm pulling for the Chiefs. You just picked it. You're out of it. The Saints are gone. He's not in it.

Me and Zah, we got my homes. Now I'm mad. So you've just been a Chiefs fan your whole life? I've told you that. You've been to Arrowhead Stadium? You own a T-shirt? I don't have to. I don't have to.

I don't have to. I'm going to be sad when the Yankees. Were you sad when Nick Sabin left, too? Who? Nick Sabin when he left Alabama? Who is that? Who? I assume you're a fan of him, too.

All the good people. How's Manchester United States? What are you talking about? He's got on a brand new pair of khakis. Go Wolverine. Yeah. Oh, that's right. Hey, go state's farm. Hey, I'm pulling for the Chiefs.

How big of a Bulls fan were you in the 90s? Hey, I don't have to tell you nothing. Do you wear red on Sundays? Are you still living Tigers' heyday? Tiger Woods, y'all. His bidet froze up, and he was calling me to come help him fix it when the cold came through. And he wants to know about me being the cheese fan. How long have you been a Chiefs fan?

I want to know. All year. Brittany bought a Chiefs last. Oh, year? Yeah. Who were you a fan of last year? Who won? I'm just curious.

You just pick a team at the beginning? Oh, no, no, no. I like the Saints most of the time. This goes deeper than the football tape. But I can like more. Martin, he's a gambler. We got, oh. Two years ago, he was a Tom Brady fan.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not too. Go bucks. He's got money on it. Okay, no, we're good. I get it now. That's not true. Philip is a sports better.

Hey, no, that's not true. You have no money on... Nope. I'm telling you. You need to listen to the song. I should have been a cowboy. Si, have we been not... You want to lose the first round of my home?

No, no. I know you love my homes. It's just funny. Hey, well, hey, Phillip, how much football did you play in your life? More than you, probably. What was you doing? Oh, really? Oh.

Yeah. Uh-oh. What were you doing? Oh, did you? I'm just asking. He played football, too. Do you have a championship ring of any sort? No, do you?

Yep. Got a couple of them. Yep. Did you play? Got one says state, one that says national. That's right. So. Hey, good for you.

If I was coaching you, you'd have won. More. Don Chalice. Oh, Don Chalice, Jr. I love it. I love it. I was just wondering if you actually played. Yeah, I did play.

Back in Westman Rose. Like you played? Yeah, I played. Yeah, I played. He played when Willie was on Westman Rose soccer team. Oh, wow. What a life. What a time to be alive.

Back with Neville ran this town. Yeah. Keep it up, big boy. I just curious. I love people that are passionate about it. They're like, how much you play? And they're like, never. But I played all four years.

So did Cy. I know. Now you know I did. That's why I was legitimately asking the question. Well, now you know. Here's another thing that you didn't know that you now know. Oh, he doesn't got big man. Yeah.

What's he going to do? He doesn't got big man. Oh, Patrick Mahomes, biggest fan. I love a big man. Now I have a vested interest to root for the 49ers. Well, hey, put your money up. I thought you didn't have any money. I didn't think you gave it.

I don't. But I will. With 20 here, I will. He's willing more to put money up. What's the square on that game? Time out. Hey, and he ain't only one. It's minus one.

And he ain't the only one. Really? All right. Is that what it opened that or is that Kern? Oh, yeah. He ain't got a money. but he's been checking. Keep it up.

I love Phil. I love Phyllis. No, I don't bet on us. It's minus one over under 47 and a half. I don't know what to do. Go ahead. It's minus one, minus 190.

But, you know, it's like, oh, wow, what a lot. All right, look, springtime is here. It's warming up. You know what that means? That means more outside cook. And y'all know. We love to eat beef around here. And that's because of our friends over at Trial's beef,

make such a good product, baby. Ain't it good? It's so good. Our friend, Sao Robertson, would say, buy on the grill! Look, before we got Tritels, getting ready for a cookout, man, somebody had to run the grocery store, do all the things, grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day.

And you never really know where that beef comes from. But with Tritales beef, we skip the grocery store and do it a different way. Tritails comes from a family ranch out in Texas. They're a fifth generation American ranch, so they've been at it for a while. Now look, the beef comes straight from their ranch and other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way. Their steaks are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door. We threw a couple of ribbys on the grill.

Look, salt, pepper, garlic, hot fire, that's all you need. Look, because I tell you what, when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living, you can taste the difference. The tenderness and the flavor are fantastic. So if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season, go check out Tritale's beef. I know in size case Christine loves it, which is just a, she doesn't eat meat. She ain't a big meat eater, folks. Yeah.

Just go to trybeef.com slash. That's trybeef.com slash support ranch families and eat some dang good steak. I watched a bit of the Chiefs game. I didn't watch any of it. I saw a lot of Taylor Swift. Hey. So I was curious if you guys thought that maybe football might be rigged. 100%.

And that the Chiefs are going to make it to the Super Bowl. Bowl because of Taylor Swift. 100% football's rig. You don't quit preaching and got the meddling there. Oh, yeah. The NFL is right here. You done. W.W.E. is right beside it.

Yeah, you don't get, you don't quit preaching and got to meddling. Yeah, you don't got to meddling now, huh? Do you think that college football is rude because Nick Sabin went to the playoff in his final year as a coach? Yep. Oh, wait. That was a little on the nose. It's all rig.

No, here's the thing. I say, it's all driven by money, so they can... It's not a fair game. I do believe that. It's not scripted. No, it's not fair for one reason. Okay, because everybody's not looking at the real thing. Okay, and that is the talent.

No. On all these teams. The talent is how much money can they put in the network? Oh, no, no, no, no, because I'm telling you, the talent, that's what it's all about. That's why I said what it's going. So when the stars come out and shine, guess what? That team's going to win. Because the referees are going to help.

No, no. They 100% did it. No. Everybody knows the Raven. Oh, hey, remember this what I told you? Another bad one. Hey, too. Regardless, you know who I'm far.

But hey, here's the deal for the game when it comes up, the Super Bowl. whatever stars on each team. And in the stand. Hey, if they shine, guess who's going to win the game? The stars that shine. Now, they may officiate this one pretty close because they got Taylor to Vegas. Well, I hope they let them play.

Now, they don't mess up the Super Bowl. Yeah. It's the path there. It's the path there. But when Travis Kelsey's jumping up and doing this every play and then one guy on the Ravens does it once and then it's 15 yards, it's like, Hold on.

And suddenly, the guy who calls more flags against home teams than anybody gets switched to be the ref a week before for the Chiefs Ravens, it's like, eh. So I don't listen to it. And in 2019, whenever the Rams had just moved to L.A. And the Saints beat them. The Saints had beat them. I'll give you a saying or another saying.

Hey, don't judge me unless you have walked out. game five miles in my mom. All right. We're not a sports podcast. We're not. We're not, we're not, did you kill a banded mallard after duck season ended in Louisiana by driving

to Arkansas? Oh, I did. He did. I did do that. I could have abandoned Mallard Drake this morning. But he shot his lane to do it, which is what you're supposed to do. In other words, shoot in front of you. Well, what stomp is, you know, I took Brittany this morning. We had a little blind date

again. A blind date. Let the boys get it. That's a pun. Get it. I had a blind date. We let the boys stay at grannies last night. That's right. And, uh,

and, uh, and they took care of the kids. And for some reason, she's got like this big wish to kill a band of duck. And, and you did it? I didn't do it intentionally. He didn't do it at purpose.

So, but I, I couldn't even like, hide the fact that I was going to try and get over there. with the duck and swap them. The jewelry. And let her have that one?

Yep. The jewelry. But she caught me in the process. Uh-oh. Where was it from? He was actually banded in Arkansas in 2012 in February of 2020. He's made two years. And he was, well, he was hatched in 2020 or early.

He was, he's an old duck. He's a big duck, like giant mallard. Yeah. So it's cool. man it was it was yeah i just shot my lane he was actually it's funny he was the hardest shot out of all he was hanging back further than the rest of them i mean we had five mallards coming to decoys and it was three drakes and two hens and we ain't going to shoot the girls this late in the game and uh there was a drake in front of brittany a drake in front of bradley and a drake kind of

i mean he was in front of me but he was out there a little bit he's he was leery and everybody shot the lane everybody so i'm watching to make sure that she gets hers, Bunk, killed it. So I'm like, okay, now I can worry about this one out in front of me. And I killed him and there it is. How many band-ed ducks have you killed in your life? I have no idea. Yes.

Under or over like 50? 25. Okay. I mean, I don't know. I haven't. How many? It took me a long time before I killed one, but then once I started killing them, they seemed to like, just they seem to keep happening.

I didn't do what my brother did. he kept all of his and kept them on one string so to speak. I've killed quite a few, but my brother has got like a, you know, 100. Seven or eight foot of it. Yeah, it's a bunch of it. Is it a hundred? It's more than that.

Yeah, I bet. And me, you were combined for zero, yeah. But like this one. Yes, I get one from him. Me, you and Phil together, though, have more than these guys. So, you know, I took Brittany hunting last week and her waiters were fine no problem i take her today and they've sprung a leak that's no good like as soon as we step in the water and it's deep this is waste deep water she's like oh i'm getting wet yeah she's wet and i was

like yeah well you can either retreat and be wet or keep walking and be wet but i'm going duck hunting you can go back to the lodge yeah you can go back to camp yeah or hang out or you can stay here so she sat there and it's kind of chilly this morning and toughed it out and we were taking off our or Bradley took off his socks and gave them to her. I took off sweatshirt so she could dry her feet and just try to get as much dry as she could and all the thing. But I took the band off and gave it to her and crimped it on her key ring because I told her she earned it for being out there. Right. For sticking with it.

Like I may have shot it, but you earned it. So, you know. She was part of it. And, you know, if she'd have been like a lot of folks and got to griping and complain, and I'd have never been there to shoot it because I'd have taken her back to the camp. But she sat there and toughed it out. And so she earned it. It's now on her key ring and she can do as she pleases with it.

And it's her. You'd have been taking me back. Yeah. Look, I almost, I had her not talked into, but I said, look, we got two four wheelers. Let me get you to the road that goes to camp. She didn't quite, you know, it's dark. She wasn't paying attention where we went. I said, let me get you back there, and then you just going back to camp, build a fire, everything's good.

Was this the last day that y'all could hunt? Together, yeah. Okay. Yeah, because she can't tomorrow, because my mom's got a doctor's appointment, so she can't keep the boys. So, yeah, this is it for us. But she said, okay, I'll do that. And I looked up and I said, now hold on them. I said, them seven or eight right there looked pretty good.

They look like they're going to work. Yeah, can't, can't, can't, can. And they just, five of them just peeled out. I said, oh-oh. And then we killed them. So if I'd have taken her back, we'd have never had that chance. We'd have never got that, Mallard. Yeah.

So, you know, so good owner, yeah, it's on her key ring. They're fun to shoot. It's fun to think about the stories. I mean, that duck's made that trek since 2020 or before that we know of. I would say he's probably more like 2015. I would call him about a 10-year-old Mallard Drake. But just looking at him. And, yeah, it's fun to think that he's dodged everybody until today.

It's like, got him. But he couldn't dodge. Justin Mark. Well, most bands you kill are like hatchier birds. Most of them are young. And, you know, Brittany's got to be tough to be freezing cold and just, you know, still stay out there because I wouldn't have done it. Well.

And, you fell in before, hadn't you? Godwin would still be there. Oh, bad deal for Godwin. Cold as that water was. Bad deal if it was him. Godwin would still be in the same spot waiting. Oh, he got wet one time because the boat sunk and that was somebody's fault. Yeah, he'd have taken off.

Whose fault was that? He went to the house. Whose fault was that when the boat? It was the commander of the boat. I've heard different people's stories. And his name, he is, you know, he's the one that started the company. Hey, when a boat goes down, it's the captain's fault. That's that.

Oh, no. That's otherwise proved. That's right. And he's a captain. Would he agree with that statement? Heck, no, he blamed it on. He said too many fat boys. That's right.

Too many honeybond eaters. That's what he said. That's what he said. He said too many fat boys. He said, got a couple. Three hondoes up in the front. What are you going to do? That's what he said.

And the boat flooded from the back. And it sunk from the back. Yeah, you tell me who's faulted. That's funny. Oh, I've been in so many that done that. Yes. Yeah. Hmm.

I don't do cold water. Oh, I don't like. I don't like. I don't either. But, hey. If I was Brittany, I'd have been like, take me home. Well, what's really funny is so like, I don't know, probably six, seven years ago.

We were hunting late in the season, ice everywhere, and these mallards kept his one spot over them. And I said, if we can just get there, it's going to be a good one. And she was with me. Yeah. She wanted to go. I said, well, come on.

I said, but it's going to be rough now. It's going to be tough to get there. And about halfway there, she ripped her waders on that ice. But she could, about halfway, you could see them. And she was like, but we got to go. She's like, I ain't missing that. Yeah, I ain't. And I said, well, let's go, darling.

I just, I said, there's a dry spot there when we get there. There's a little, a little high spot. You can at least get out of the water on. She was like, okay. And she shot her limit of Miler Drake, standing right there, freezing teeth chattering. Like, I don't know how she hit anything. You know. Has Christine ever gone duck hunting with you?

Huh? Christine, duck hunting. No. Never been. Do. Would she? No. No. That's the last thing that woman would do is say, yeah, take me hunting.

I'm just curious. I am playing for them, girl, but right, no. Fun, dude. Oh, it's going to be fun whenever we go, and I got one in tow and she got one. All four of you. All four of us. Party of four.

Let's go. Oh, no. Let's go have some fun. I'm looking forward to. I told her we're going to save them waiters and give it to one of the boys as their first pair. Everybody's first pair of waiters leaks. I mean, that's kind of the...

That's not true. That's kind of baptism by fire when you're a duck hunter. You gave me my first pair of waiters. They didn't leak, but boy, were they uncomfortable? I had a man, I had a man that we hunted with, and, hey, I don't know why. It's just, it was a ritual with him. If he didn't trip and roll over and get wet, he wasn't, he wasn't a hunt. He had to, a little top.

I'm serious. He'd fall every time we went duck up and he's dry and waiters. He would fall and all, I ain't talking about just tripped and I hit a knee or no. He's fixed a trip and fall face forward, get wet, rolled over three or four times, and then, hey, get up and say, okay, let's go get them, boys. So he was a warrior. Cricket Tanner, which was his name. And that was Moss Lake.

That was in the days when Phil was about in his late 20s. Oh, wow. Well, that's why he failed because he's trying to keep up with him. Oh, no. You couldn't keep up with him. No way. Yeah. You know, that's when he was playing football, y'all.

Yeah. It took Phil till he got 72 for I could keep up with him. Oh, no. Yeah. Yeah. Just, you know, it was funny. And, I mean, it didn't make any difference what the weather was, whether it was ice or water. Nope.

He's fixed to get wet. He's fixed to be cold. And he's going to hunt until we kill our limits. Yeah, I was proud of her for sticking it up. He's tough. But she don't get to go a lot. So what she does? She wants to take full advantage of it.

And she knows, like... Well, you've got to pay your dues. Yeah. She knows she's like... That's just part of it. You got to pay your dues. She knows it's hard for me to leave. Like, so I was like...

I'm not that tough. Me and Mitt Miller look at each other like, douche moves, we're out. No, but you got to think, that's only her second time go duck hunting in two years. Yeah, that's right. With the boys, like, and everything went around it. Well, anybody that's went and had...

at good hunts, okay, and especially if they haven't done it, oh, it'll get in your blood. Oh, yeah. And she knows, too, that I don't go on those kind of adventures unless I think it could be really good. Now, it was not really good today. But she knew that the potential for it to be really good was there. It could be.

It could. Which is why I bought her $170 license last night for essentially one day a hunt. But she wanted to go, and you know what? You can't hardly go out and eat and go to a movie and all that for $170.70. So instead, just go take her duck hunt. Way more fun. Way more fun. And you'll have memories of it.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I videoed it on her phone, her ringing out her socks when we got back. She was wet. That's part of it. She was wet. And we got done. I'll tell you what she is.

We got done. We walked out. She walked out first, said, just tote what you can tote. Don't overload yourself because you're going to be adding water the whole way. And then she got there, tooted what she could tote, and then turn around, come back and got more stuff. I said, that woman, hot dog, buddy. Hey.

And then she got home put on her best pair of crocs back at the camp. Good time. She had them crocs strapped in four-wheel drive, buddy, and there's almost more than I can stand. Oh, I'm here to tell you. Look, I ain't even bluffing. Hold on. I took a picture of her in her crocs.

I said, I'm make it my screensaver. I said her, I said Valentine's Day's coming up. You're going to get her new pair of Crocs? No, this is just going to be my post tour on Valentine's Day. She said, you better not. Look here, she even posed for it. She had a sock.

You better not. She said, you better not post it, but we're about to show it. I guarantee you, she knows better. I'm waiting for it. She knows. It's coming. It's on the way. I went ahead and sent it in a group text.

That way Hunter ain't got to ask me for it later. It's a daily struggle. Yeah, it is. Oh, there it is. Look at her. Look at her. standing there. Put that one up.

That is the most Brittany pose. Oh, buddy. Look at them crock. I tell you what. I like them. Those are not her britches. Those are Bradley's britches, which is funny that they wear the same size. She had to put on something dry.

Those are Bradley's britches and socks. In the crocs. Yeah, he had, but those are her crocs. Look at that woman. Gosh, mighty. How did I get so lucky? I'm telling you. That's right.

You got a good. I'm here to tell you. You got a good one. She in a bind, buddy. All right, we're going to take a break before you. I like messing with her. She didn't even style it before him. She ain't going to watch this.

I can talk all that trash. He's going to get in trouble when he gets home. All right, we'll be back right after this. You see what I sent you? I have no idea what it is. Do I want to play it? It's just cycling and ducks from when Martin gave him those ducks. That's pretty cool inside of cleaning them.

You burn them in the house? Oh, hey. Yeah, I burn them in a living room. Yeah. Feathers everywhere. I said Christine, you'll be back into something. No, the maid will get it. On my rug in the living room,

is there a reason? I can't rolling because we need to discuss it. You're cleaning ducks on your stove? A, sigh is great at cleaning ducks, I'm telling you. Christine lets you send the feathers off of the... Hey, my daughter used to hold it. Look at that feather. Look at that feather.

Do you see a random feather? Yeah. No, I'm telling Philip pizza, what are you doing? I said, hey, look at this first. See all that fuzz on there that I couldn't get off? Well, yeah, you got to burn it. Yeah. To get it off.

I'm sending all the fuzz off. But that is like... In your home? What are you talking about? All right, folks at home, if you've never cleaned a duck, which I'm sure a lot of you haven't. In the home? I'm certain you have burnt all the hair off your hand or arms at some point.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. And you're very familiar with the smell of singed hair. A smell, yeah. Oh, yeah. That is like scinged hair on steroids. Yeah, duck feathers, if you burn it. Yeah.

You got a little older this left. And you did that in your house? Hey, yeah. It's got one of the air things in it. Now, look, Brittany. Is that feather? Brittany's cool, but she'd run me smooth out the country, big dog, if I did that. Hey, look, my children used to help me clean the game.

In the home? In the house. Did you not on a table to put outside? Hey, I actually thought my daughter was going to be a doctor because while we're doing it, she's saying, what is that? And I said, well, that's his heart. She said, what's that? That's back here.

I said, that's the kidneys. You know? And she said, what's that in that? I said, that's the stomach. Cut it open and said, hey, look, see Americans? They've been eating? My man just singed four ducks. Oh, he did.

And look, there's feathers all over the carpet. So I looked at Christine and said, you want me to? Look at Christine back here on the computer. Yeah. How to get burnt hair smell out of the house. Hey, she ain't worried about that? What is she looking up? Yeah.

Hey, that woman, we, hey, look, I cooked, after I've done that, I cooked up three big, she gave me, she's been hiding down on me. She's got one of deep casseroes. It's about six inches deep. Oh, okay. Well, I had that one for, and another one that was four inches, and then another small one. That's about a foot square.

But I had three things of dressing. How was it? Oh, excellent. Them ducks was bad, right? No, no, yeah. I've got about this much left in that big deep, deep cassero that I put it in. And you ate all of it most of it? Oh, no, I've ate most of it.

And I'm going to eat the rest of it tonight for supper. So you have any sage in that dressing? Oh, did I? I love this, man. I actually done, she read it somewhere. She was looking at it. it up, you know, recipe for dressing. Hold on, let me tell you your recipe, Sye.

Yeah. Where do you? Zy says that you got to have onion, bell pepper, sage, 2.5 tablespoons of sage. Okay. Cornbread, heavy brown. Yep. Package of saltine crackers. Wait, what does cornbread heavy brown mean?

It means how heavy, the color will be, it'll be dark brown. Oh, okay. I didn't know. I was like, is that a brain? Ritz crackers. I had never heard of it. That's why. Rich crackers.

Yep, saline. Like a tiny plate. Several pieces of bread. Yeah. Celery. That'd be about 10 or 12. Chopped celery. Yep.

Okay. Add eggs. Two whipped. Whip them, whip them up, mix them up good. Bay leaves, three or four. Yep. Salt and pepper. That's in the duct.

Oh, okay. Oh, that's, yeah, there's you. Or it in the duct. Yeah, there's your. Ball until tender. Yep. Uncle size has to be. Where's your salt and pepper?

Huh? All that in there. You just, yeah. That's a good. That's a gut. That's a gut. Just check that. No, no, I showed him.

He said, what's that on top? I said, pepper. I said, you cover, it's a six-quard boiler. He covers the top, hold all the way across, solid pepper. Then put some salt in it, you know, to taste. Yeah. Cooking with Uncle Saha. Do you clean fish inside?

Of course. Hey. Do you clean everything inside? Hey, yeah. Whose house is it? Who pays for it? Well, technically, the good folks at clean. Home's paid for it.

Mama takes care of it, but I'll pay for it. I'd just be kicked out if I come in there cleaning fish and... I ain't sleeping in the kitchen. Oh, wait, if I clean it up, if I leave a mess, I clean it up. But I mean, hey, next thing, he's going to have a deer hanging from the ceiling fan. Oh, I've done that before. No, you haven't. I have.

I help. Hold on. No, no, I got a story about that. They'll like this. Look. Yeah, yeah, we will. Germany. I'm in the military. Okay.

I actually... certified instructor to teach Americans how to hunt the German way. Okay. Okay, I want to school for that. All right. So look, I'm teaching all these people. How do Germans hunt? Oh, they got a lot of rituals.

They've got a lot more, what am I looking for? Traditions. Yeah. Okay. Like if you shoot a deer, you've got to go pick a branch off of a oak tree and and give him last rights. Look at John Davis. You actually put a branch with acorns on it in his mouth.

You're honoring the game you just took his life. Okay. So you're honoring the game you shoot. But anyway, I've got like, what, 16 students. Uh-huh. And I'm taking each one of them hunting for them to shoot a deer. Okay. You know, 15 of them killed a deer.

because they would sit still when I told them, hey, you can't be moving. You got to sit here like a statue. If you talk, you whisper. Are these white tail? Huh? No, they're a ro deer. A big one is 20 pounds.

About the size of the rabbits over there. Oh, look. A rabbit, the hos, the German rabbit, which is the hos, he weighs 16 pounds. You're shooting 20 pound deer? Yeah. Yeah, ro deer R-O-E

Back-check. But anyway, all of them has killed one except just one kid He's about 17 Y'all and I keep telling him Hey, you've got to be still There's deer

right behind us In the woods We're sitting on the food pot I said if you'll be still 10 minutes They'll come out And you could kill your buck Y'all because I'm looking back in the woods

And I see a doe in the buck Well, he won't be still So he didn't kill one They're looking at something, y'all. I'm looking at pictures of road here. He's back there. That's the road deer. That's him?

And, hey, he'll be a six point. You can't tell it. But it goes up, see that point on the, on the. Oh, yeah, kind of like that one down there in the bottom left. Yeah. Very pointy dears. So did y'all have to get special permission to hunt these deer? Oh, yeah.

I was in with a guy that owned a Revere. So then you hung one of these from your ceiling van? Yeah. Look, I kill him. Well, at 20 pounds, this is getting much. less impressive. Well, no, no, yeah, but okay. That's true.

I kill him and I. It says 22 to 70s. Hey, I'm, I'm, I'm, uh, hungry for some venous steak. So I asked you a very owner. Hey, you know, I want to buy this one. Okay. I'm going to take him wrong and eat it. Yeah.

Yeah. So he's just fine. So I shot him that night, late, okay. So I didn't have nowhere. So I go to the basement down there where everybody goes to do laundry. Mm-hmm. So that's where all the washing machine is. are.

In the cleaning room? Huh? Oh yeah, that's where you clean stuff. This is a community lawn. Yeah. Well, if that's where you clean stuff. Well, no, no. But, hey, I just hung him up on a pipe.

Had him gutted and had it, you know, a tub underneath him. Look. Front ceiling. No, no. Yeah, I had one home. You know, this. I go to work in the morning. Si was Dexter before it was cool, man.

No, no, no. Look. Hey, I go to work. The deer's still hanging down there because I ain't got him cleaned yet. Finish cleaning and cut it up. What is the temperature? Oh, it's cold. It's in the wintertime.

Yeah, and in a basement. You know it's going to be cold, doesn't it? I don't get to hang out in a lot of basements. I come home for dinner. Cold air sinks. I come home for dinner and there's all kind of Polizai cars parked everywhere around the building. Polizia. Oh.

Yeah, Polici. Polici. And military, okay, and the military jeeps. And the Gestapo show up there. And when I get out, I said, what happened? They said, it's been a mass murder. No, they did. And I said, what?

He said, oh, yeah, there's blood everywhere and dead bodies and everything. I think we're at 95%. Well, no, no. Hey, this is what the guy's telling me when I got out of the car. And I said, what are y'all talking about? Well, about this time, a doctor, German doctor, you know, they're asking him. He said, well, you know, what was he shot with? you know and the German doctor says there it is

yo the German doctor said look like a 30 out six to me you know which is what I shoot me and I he knows me I find it with him so when I come walking in I said hey what's going on he said all these people have overreacted he said because a Yeager which is a hunter that's the German word for hunter he said because a yager shot a deer and hung him in the basement you know and I said oh that

that's me that's me I'm The Yeager? Yeah, that'd be me. He's the Yeager master. That'd be me. We're the Yeager Meister, huh? Yeah, and I said, hey, you bunch of idiots. Some woman went down there and just went insane.

She went crazy. Because there was blood in the laundry room. Because there was blood in the laundry room. I mean, to be fair. No. That's kind of close. Like, when I saw the deer, I'd be like, who's the jerk and the nasty person. No.

Hey, I paid for, I killed him. I paid for him. I fixed to cook him. But it's a communal laundry room. Well, hey, I can't help that. If you went out. I put more as a community here, bud. If you kill a deer tonight and go over to North Seventh and just hang it up in the laundry room.

That right there tells you why I was in trouble a lot in the military. Yeah. Now, you welcome at my house anytime. Just please don't clean a deer in my laundry room. We got a tree out back. Well, hey, look. You straying him up from the tree and skin him right there. It ain't that big of a deal.

No. No. I love it. Turn the porch. My man. How many cop cars? Okay, aside from the 95%, how many cop cars were there? How many cop cars?

At least one. Oh, I'm telling the whole building, and this was like a, I think, three different stairwells. They had every entrance. So it was about, what, 12, 12, I think families lived in it. Yeah, but I mean, they got, would be old. I love this guy. because the deer's hanging on, hanging drain it. I ain't ever cleaned nothing that's not in central heating air, and I love it.

Well, no, no. That makes me happy. I ain't going to be sitting out in the cold freezing my butt off. I done that to kill it. But you didn't, like, clean up the blood off the floor? Eventually, he did. It wasn't on the floor. No, he had a gut bucket down there.

He ain't hauled off the gut bucket yet. Yeah, I ain't got rid of this. I ain't cleaned him yet. Yeah, because he still had fat and everything else he wanted to get off of it. Nothing like Downing Fresh Linon and gut talking. And being a good guy I was, I invited them. I said, hey, look, I'm fixing to cook venison the night for supper. Y'all are all welcome.

Hey, crazy woman, you're invited to have some venison with me. I like how she's somehow a bad guy. She refused because she thought I was an animal. Matter of fact, she even called me that. We have a specific email for you, Phil. Are you ready? Are you ready? It's not an email.

It was a, I think it was a Facebook DM. And it's a compliment. to you because at the end of it Michelle said you're a super funny guy but let me read the let me read the subject line up the line okay backwards hilarious gout Phillips okay when Phil talked about the gout that was the funniest thing she's heard in a long time but we want we need an update how's your feet so it's good and I've been I've been taking my medication, losing a little bit of weight, trying to exercise, and it's under control now. And I got that from Justin.

You all not all up here and all by it? Yes. Yeah. And hey, it ain't funny. No. What? Gail? The guy that got it, it ain't funny. No, you...

That's serious pain involved in this. Pretty funny every time I'm... It is surprising... It's funny if you're watching somebody else, but you have it. It's surprising how bad your big toe could hurt. No, no, no, no. I remember growing up, you know, you know, somebody would come by. and be crying.

Yeah. Everybody said, well, hey, what happened? What happened? Tell me all that, it's okay, but he's got gout. Yeah. And I'm saying, what? I know it sounds crazy because you're like, your toe. Hey, I knew that Martin had it because he said my big toe was in such pain.

I couldn't even put the sheet on it. And I was like, he knows. No. You can have no pressure. But what's weird is like for me during the day when you put socks and shoes on, it was like, okay, I can bear this. It's like it had to have the pressure, but if it was just something like laying flat with weight on it,

I mean, I was like, I did. I called him buddy who's doctor. I was like, can we cut it off? And he's like, it's that bad. He's like, no, bro, to just go to a different join. I said, okay, let's save my toe, but what do we do? And he's like, well, he's got to figure out what's wrong with you. You were legitimately about to cut off your toe.

I thought that would be the easiest route. Oh, no, I'm serious. What he said is true. Well, the problem is, here's the problem. Like, so during the day, it doesn't really hurt that bad. Like, you can manage it during the day. It, like, midnight 1 o'clock a.m., it would wake you up with, like, I don't know how to describe the throbbingness of the pain.

But it hits during the middle of nights. Have you had it? No. Then you're miserable because it hurts and you don't get any sleep. Look, we know both that y'all have had it, but side is. Look, we get it. Y'all have had it, but I need to explain it. I'm going to tell you the pain, okay.

Anybody that's been laying in, no, no, there's land in bed. And look, you get a cramp in your thigh muscle. No, this ain't got nothing on Charlie. Oh, no, no, no. This ain't got nothing on Charlie. He knows. That or either a tooth that is infected and starts hurting. Well, see, I've heard that about teeth, too, but I've never had a, I've never had any kind of tooth.

Okay, but hey, when I say a cramp, I'm talking about, hey. You're talking about Charlie horse? full-blown lock-up. Oh, no. This makes you jump out of bed and just go-ha. Which I don't know who Charlie or his horse is, but that sucker must have been mean. Oh, no. He's what.

Have you had an infected tooth? Oh, yeah. I never had that. Yeah. I've never. I can't just making sure you knew one of the things. Part of the misery is the fact that you don't get any sleep, like, because you cannot sleep. You can't sleep.

How do you know? Because you're in pain. Sleep, what are you talking about? I want some relief. Si has nightmares about the gout because he can't imagine a world where he can't. He saw me. He was around me a few days. He was like, man, I'm doing that.

I'm going bad for you. It's, while it's rocking, it's generally like a three-day process, even with medicine to, like, get the flare up down. And like, day two is generally, you're just like, because you got no sleep, you got nothing. But it's weird because during the day, you can manage. That's what's weird. That's strange. During the day, you're like, yeah, it hurts and I limp a little, but like, I'm fine. Man, it will wake you up.

Because then you go to sleep and you're like, okay, maybe I'm over. No, like one, two a.m. You're like, oh God, cut it off. Okay, think about it. You have a root canal in a tooth. Okay, he didn't get it all. He didn't pull all the nerve out. And he put it in your toe?

No, no. Some of it is left and you go home. Okay, well guess what? The shot wears off. Now you're, hey, you're sitting there with a nerve that is livid. Oh, exposed. Yeah, exposed to the air and it's just, you're about to go insane. Yeah, Johnny Dea blackout now.

Just some pain. Yeah. I'm pretty, I got pain tolerance. No, I'm talking about blood and guts. Yeah, I don't like that. Yeah. So, hey, I'm saying. Yeah, he'd have been a guy in a laundromat reporting you.

Well, I wouldn't have been reporting you. Here's the reason I know about all this. I had, my whole family was in the nursing field. Uh-huh. Okay, so all these harsh stories, they used to tell them. And Gowl had a bunch of... Now, look, I say this, women are way tougher than us. Oh, yeah.

Hands down. It probably wouldn't bother a woman at bad. But... Oh, Beth is trying to stick up for Michelle. Michelle thinks you having Gout's hilarious. Michelle, I support it. It is funny. Thanks, Michelle.

No, Beth's saying she thought it was just funny how we talked about it. It's funny that it was called Rich Man's Disease and the two poorest ones in here the ones end up with it. That's what's funny. That's true. We're broke on this side. Not so much over that side. Look, he knows it's true. But let me tell you how bad it's going to hurt you.

Yeah. Called Rich Man's disease and the two poorest folks in here to want to get it. I ain't had it. That's what's wild. I don't know. I love that because my whole life I've always always told people they start talking. about their injuries, especially when they get old. And I'm talking about, I've had all that.

Yeah. And they said, what are you talking about? I said, hey, look, I had ever been in that. You know, I hear people tell me, I had to take my son to a doctor the other day and they diagnosed him with all these childhood problems. I don't know about that. PSD, whatever, you know. And I said, well, I had all that.

And my own family said, hey, I've had dementia my whole life. You? Yeah. That's what they say. Well, guess what? Y'all, I had about three of my siblings that actually, when they left here, they had it. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, if I've had it all by life, I'm like Willie Nelson. It must be something good in it. Oh. Wow. Okay. How are you wild? Hey, wow. You got another one.

I got one more. One of the more interesting questions we've ever been asked. And size laundry room gut bucket made me want to ask this. If there was an official duck commander's scent candle for each of you, what would it smell like, like lavender and fried chicken? Size is clearly fresh linens and gut buckets. Yeah. Right.

Get it on the website, 1999. Yeah. It would make a fortune. Fresh linen and gut bucket. Is that what your candle would be? Well, hey, it would be a foul smell. Gobble would be donuts and fish gales or something, you know, or a minter bucket. Minter bucket.

Minter bucket. Hey, Phil would be a foul smell. Phil wouldn't have nothing sweet about him. Okay, yeah. Old feet. Burnt duck skin. 60-day-old socks. Yeah.

Singe. Wet sock. This is Duck Commander. Anything doing with hunting is going to stink. Dead crickets. That's another smell I'm very fond of and used to. Yeah, I'd say something probably like cheese. It's and swamp water.

They brought in a good part, boys. I'll give you back. I don't know. The swamp water is going to stink. Jesus is going to smell great. I end up wet just about every other day doing something duck hunting related. Not falling or nothing, but you try to work on something, move boards, do this, do that, you end up wet. Which produces a foul odor, boys.

Especially when you forget about your clothes out there in your truck. Sitting there and bake for a couple of days drying out on their own. You walk in, you're like, then you open the door to get in your pickup and you're talking about, what is the smell? Well, it's a distinct smell. Well, maybe I should change it from swamp water to mildew because that's pretty much what the smell is. I just realized his other smell. Oh, what is it?

Junior high boy locker room. Hey, oh, yeah, Axe. Bod fantasy spray just going to go out and wild. Hey, the Bodd smells. Mix with old man. Hey, the Bod smells. He's never had the gout. Yeah.

Hey, he'd be the bod and moth balls all tall turned into one. Hey, look, hey, you can't go there because, hey, I've had too many women tell me that I smell so good. I understand. That's the bond and a combination of bourbon deodorant. Good thing is, nobody'd ever lie to you. I know. So that was one of the worst smells I ever smelled.

Oh, wow. When you were cooking those ducks? Oh. The duck feathers out. But the absolute worst smell was Jace's truck when I bought it and opened it up and it smelled like feathers and blood and bullets. And for this. It was awful.

That's a little smell I like to call. That's why. That's why, look, that's 60 days, Jason left all he's hunting, his waiters, all that in the truck. Oh, yeah, he did, I can tell. Willie's candle would be wet logs and dip spit. That would be his scent. A dipstick?

Dip spit. Dip spit. Oh, okay. Grizzly fine cut, natural, baby. Wet logs and used grizzly. Slightly used, mind you. He only kept a dip air for like 30 seconds. That's giving me the sense.

Hey, I like Bart's, Tell me, Jesus is swamp water. That's the best. All right, Second Corinthians, 2.15, for we are to God, the pleasing aroma of Christ, among those who are being saved and those who are perishing, to the ones, to the one we are in a aroma that brings death, the other, an aroma that brings life, all who is equal to such a task. Unlike so many, we do not peddle the word of God for profit.

On the contrary, in Christ, we speak before God was sincerity, as those sent from God. I don't really know what that means, but it had a lot of stuff. stuff about smells in it. Yeah. And I'm not sure what all hunters going to leave in here today, y'all, but we enjoyed it. Thank you all.

Come again. We'll see y'all next time. See you next time. We're out.