Duck Call Room - Uncle Si Teaches Comedian John Crist How to Be a Robertson

Episode Date: January 18, 2024

Uncle Si and John Crist, comedian and YouTube sensation, share some laughs with the boys over the distinct cultural differences between them. Martin and John-David enjoy dishing out the details they have when John brings up celebrity gossip about Luke Bryan. John decides that West Monroe is like a ride at Disney World and can’t wait to come back and hang out with Si. - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

That was size house I mean too I was like is this an episode of the Shining I really was size house There's nobody out there I was like if you if I'm not But if I was like I'm gonna bury a body Jimmy Red's house Yes for sure

We know that guy's house You saw the compound No well we're we're I'm looking up here a quarter mile I go what is that on the road And she goes I don't know It's like I didn't know what it was in the road I was like what is that She's like, this is terrifying.

And we get up closer. It's a truck and there's three prisoners off the back of it smoking cigarettes. They're like on a road cleanup. Probably smoking weed, too. I don't think you can do that on your work release from... Nah. Well, right. And I was like, if they walk out into the middle of the road and just go, it's over.

It's over. This is how it ends. No, see, but if they got trash duty, they don't care enough for something like that. Well, I'll fix it. That sounds like Coons in Alabama. The boys picking up trash or the ones who just had too much a drink on Friday night and got DWI. Oh, yeah, they're not violent criminals. Yeah.

But anyway, welcome to the 7-182, sir, where that kind of thing happens. It's a different podcast. It is different. We have a guest in the house. Go ahead. Martin? Oh, me? Yeah, you're the host.

I'm just the annoying kid with the computer. Well, you started it. I don't mind. started it. He's a pro. Hey, both of y'all hush. You tell me who the guest is. I don't know the man.

Yeah. Well, I'll say I came, I was on, on a shame. All three of them did not know who I was. You serious? None of them. They didn't know. Like, who is this guy? Man, I figured they'd have seen you on social media by now.

Oh, wait. They go, apparently we haven't. Hey, we don't watch social media. Yeah. Huh? We don't watch social media. Yeah, well, that's a problem. See, now he's putting himself in their category.

Yeah, he's in their category. That's what's confusing. But he's, Who side are you on? He's one of them, but likable. No, I'm not on nobody's side. I feel like you're on their side. Hey, I don't like any of them.

Do you like our guest? Our guest is John Chris, by the way. Welcome. John Chris. We haven't said his name for those of you driving down the road. Well, Mr. John Chris, welcome. Thank you. What do you do for a living?

Never been introduced as John Chris, and then the other co-host goes, John Christ with a question mark. He's a little harder here. He was just making, he was just confirming. He heard him, right. He's also, you don't have a lot of listeners with backpacks of oxygen tanks. Well, I got a lot of parrot in me too. Oh, yeah.

I repeat. I repeat what to hear. That's a true statement. He's a noise maker. He's a great audience if you need a crowd, though. So that's a good thing. Why is it the heart of hearing is because of the shooting the guns? Yeah, just.

And 75. That and then, you know, my wife and mother both said, hey, the Robertsons have selective hearing. Oh, selected me. They only hear what they want to hear. I like that. And that's probably true. Oh, yeah. Who do you like better out of these two guys?

Oh. I don't like neither one of them. I'm in a negative mood today. John came in hot. Sorry, dude, sorry. Dang. No, I really thought I was in. He's been asking all sorts of questions.

I really thought I won that one. No, both of them. I thought I had that one hands down. You definitely. You go over to unashamed every now and then. Yeah. I go down there. They quote the Bible to you over there?

Well, no, when they run out of stuff. Yeah. You know, they run out. They need a little, you know, what am I trying to say here? They need a little laughter. They need a little laughter and break from, you know, because they've run out of material. Ratings are getting low. They call you.

Yeah, and they call it. Bring in the eye candy. That's right. Bring in eye candy. What are all those letters from? Those are from women? No. Let's see.

Ends on fire. Maybe. These are from the fans. Oh, the fan. Some could be women. We have read them. Oh, speaking of that, I'm glad you brought that up. Oh, he's got a specific one.

Uh-oh. Yep. Okay. I'm not reading another one. No, I ain't let's read. This is from Riley, from Indiana. Oh, yeah, Riley. And he killed a big buck and 165 inches.

That's what he said. From what to what? In a letter, didn't he? Yeah. You know how that works? No. What 160? Where are you from?

Lilburn, Georgia. Georgia. What is the 165 inches from what to what? But hey, that's the amount of antler on his head. Yeah, antler. Oh, just total inches of antler on their heads. I thought from nose to tail. Incorrect.

No, no, that's bigger than that. I don't think so. Just antlers. Huh? Well, hey, a 165 inches is like. Nose to tail would be more than 165 feet. A 15-foot deer. Oh, yeah.

He ain't 12 foot long, now. It's an alligator. Yeah. I'm just doing math for you What I'm here for You missed that one, big dog Sounds like something It's like a Black Panther

Oh I'm telling you Before you got here Martin We discussed all the things We had a great episode That they didn't record He's thinking it Hey Riley

Congratulations You dear butt Yeah But he's anti-black Panther Oh yeah That's right You got a pro well there I'm by default

Taking teams here Because I've been on the other podcast And now this and I'm I'm gonna have to Before we get out of here I'm gonna have to choose I feel like

You're going to have to choose everything. Choose this day whom he will serve. Yeah. Which podcast. Don't worry. Don't worry about it. Neither one of us care what you say. You're a Georgia guy, huh? Okay.

Yeah. I'm just telling you the truth, though. Especially the AALP ones. I prefer you to like me. I don't know. Yeah, I'm just... And there's apparently a rift between Monroe and West Monroe also. For sure.

Well, no, there's a river between us. And I... No, no. We're done. I think that's stellar. As a professional, that's stellar. That's unbelievable. Do you say stuff like that all the time and no one that respects it?

Because that is an unbelievable joke. Have you not heard of Duck Dynasty as this TV show? That was the only reason it existed. Everything that happened. Willie Robertson. No. Chase Robertson. It was all sad.

That's a sad. It was a riff. No, it was a river. No, technically it's a river, but you know. That's just unbelievable. Well, no, I'm just saying. Okay, look, it's the twin cities, okay, and they ain't twins. No.

Okay. I'm from West Monroe. Yeah. That's the good batch, okay? Well, you get on Monroe side, huh? But there's also the interstate that runs the opposite direction, and you're from the wrong side of that. Oh, yeah. I've always been on the wrong side of interstates.

There's a lot of, what's going on down in Monroe? I don't know. Not graduating high school. Oh, man, he really is. Whoa. No, I'm just saying if you're on the good side. Well, I'm just saying. Just different strokes for different folks.

So somebody goes, hey, I live in Monroe. I'm dating a girl from West Monroe. That's a... Yeah, we're the redneck side. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it's the only thing about, okay, no, on the other side of the river, that's the bad sides of the tracks. Oh, okay, I got it. Yeah, yeah.

Now, that's the interstate. Yeah. It's still the bad sides of the tracks, buddy. I'm going to have people show up to the store and, like, hey, I heard what you said about the other side of the interstate. Now, back in the day, it used to be like rich folk lived in Monroe, and the working folks lived in Westminster. Blue collar. See?

Now that's kind of all swapped and moved. I mean, not swap, but it's way more equal, but it still is a funny thing to look at. Where do you live? I live in West Monroe. Yeah. He's the mayor of Philpott Road. That's where all the real rich folk live. Where did I go?

What world was that? Who night? You went out red cut probably. Red cut loop to Leander to go to the Lairnard. It seems like if you drive a car down there, that road, and they're not familiar with you, there's a lot of, he's calling the next neighbor. Oh, no. I would just say, we got a GMC coming down the road.

Yeah. If you're not from there, you don't want to be down there when the sign goes down. Oh, yeah. Okay. This is where you live. Hey, sweetmashes hunter. I'm just telling you the truth. Well, there's no doubt that he had to observe all the bullet holes in the street side.

All the street side. Yeah, I mean, like, so he knows. I mean, you can use context clues. Like, I probably ought to be out of here for dark. But he's wearing camouflage pants. Yeah, well, they're from Zara. So I don't think they're... I'm not sure what Zara is, but it's not...

But it's not academy, so... Yeah, he's up on his clothes. Okay, because if it ain't real tree, you don't want to come down there. He don't know what real tree is. He got it from Zara. People get fights because it's a different kind of camo. Yeah. It's not real tree.

There are definitely people that choose sides on the... that as well. I was trying to say, like, it has to be, if you are dating one of the females of this family, it has to be terrifying to come in. I wouldn't want to do that Thanksgiving. If you're like a regular dude. Yeah, that would be tough. I can't imagine.

We've ran a few off. Yeah, of course. Yeah, they're mildly intimidating. They got to be, yeah. Yeah. Because if I was like, if I was trying to go like duck, is it hunting? Yeah, that's what they call it. Duck searching or what?

Yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, around here it's more duck searching than not in. And what did you say about the ones? Sometimes you don't have to wear the face paint. Oh, you don't have to wear face paint. For the teal because they can't see. I don't wear none of that trash anyway anymore. I'm showing up with face paint to go onto teal and they're like this guy, get them out.

Well, if you're face paint, get them out. Oh, that's kind of like a... Well, that's for a TV. Well, not only that. No, face paint has a real... It has a real role. You've got a white beard. What is black...

Putting black paint on your face? Hold it. Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. This is nature. Oh, boy. Okay, there's white moss hanging over all the trees down there. Great point. Okay.

Look, like Phil tell you, hey, I don't flare ducks. Ever. Face paint is great for beginners. For people that haven't been... Because you obviously want to watch what's going on. Yep. Like, you want to see. the ducks and do this, that.

We call it rubbernecking. And let me take a stab at what flare ducking means. Yeah. And I guess. Mm-hmm. Okay. So you said, I don't flare ducks. Yeah.

I'm guessing that's like a guy that doesn't know what he's doing. That's true. Well, the flare is a move that ducks do like they're coming, come and coming, come, and then to get out of there, they shoot up kind of like flare. Like a flare. I don't flare ducks. Yeah, they get out. But right before you shoot them, they say, up, there's that guy from Nashville.

Oh, yeah, I'm out. No, he's from Georgia. Zara Cammo. He lives in Nashville now, I think. Oh, do you? I live in Nashville now. Boy, how's that? I know, dude.

I went, I went to work. My wife's from there. He went commercial. Hey, he went downhill. Yeah. Downhill, what's wrong with Nashville? Did you know he went north, but hey, he went down hill if he went from Georgia's in Nashville. What?

Whoa. What's wrong with Nashville? Hey, you better be careful. We're strong on I-40 now. You better be careful. Our fan base is strong on I-40. It follows that Church of Christ Bible Belt. Hey, look.

Let's go just. They're Church of Christ They're just the college's home of country music Okay We are too Oh everybody's Church of Christ Yeah I hope you didn't bring any instruments

Let's take a break That's a great show I'm gonna get a great show Let's do that Somebody hit the tambourine We'll be there All right look at All right

All right It's here It's warming up You know what that means That means More outside cooking And y'all know We love to eat beef around here

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That's tribeef.com slash support ranch families and eat some dang good state. Do you ever just wake up one morning and go to a different state and hunt and then come back home? I've never done that. Me neither. No. I'm not interested. Hey, we're closed. Our season's closed.

Yeah, come on. Arkansas just opened back up. So you duck hunting the morning, you deer hunting the evening. Oh, you went all the way to North Arkansas, but you will wake up, drive to Arkansas, hunt, and then come to work. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I said, you don't do that. No. No.

Yeah. I mean, it's hard enough for me to go over that rift over to Monroe just to hunt in the morning that's early. Oh, man. So how do you feel about his beard? He'd be having a beard like that and doesn't hunt or nothing. Who me? Yeah. I hunt.

It's not near as often. Oh, yeah. No, he's just a poser. Oh, here we are. I mean, he's a guy that thinks a beard is fashion worn, which I'm cool with that, because we kind of made that cool again. I mean, this guy sits behind a computer at a podcast desk all day.

What's he hiding from? Like, you know, I mean. Is he hiding from? That's what I'm saying. He's got a big, well, he's got a big beard. He's got a Harding University shirt on. He's hiding.

Well, yeah, because they're going to the finals. Like, go Harding. And he might get kicked out. There you go. I was with a bunch of Harding folks this weekend. So their football game of going to like the division. They're into it. What, two, three, four, four, whatever.

whatever that is, like just out of high school, national championship was a big deal. Easy. Willie went to Harding and took a bowling class. Yeah, for seven days. Corey graduated, though, while she was, he was. Congratulations to Harding, by the way. I watched the football game.

Did you go to Harding? Willie didn't graduate. From Harding? Yeah. No, Willie went to Harding for a couple days, which I'm not going to make fun if anybody did that. Because he did it, too. I did it.

Then he went to ULM. Yeah. And Willie has a degree. to be a P.E. teacher, but it's not certified. Yeah. So he's got a P.E. teaching degree, but he can't teach P.E. Yeah, healthy Robert. Health and human performance is his degree. And when you see him, he's a model of both. You get it. Maybe it's like an honorary degree. You know how you do something.

And they're like, give you by default, they give you one. Yeah. I guess he brought Corey there. We're really. Yeah. Who knows. It's cool. Are you a Georgia fan? No, I hate Georgia. Oh. I'm a Braveshawks, Falcons, a Georgia Tech fan. Uh-oh. Oh, Georgia Tech. Oh, yeah.

Oh, y'all got the Saints. Yeah, by default, because you don't have any teams here. No, nothing. Nothing close. I'm a Braves fan. I grew up a Braves fan. I don't really watch baseball anymore. I'm on the opinion.

It takes too long. Yeah, it takes too long. They speeded it up, though. They've sped it up a little bit. Speed it up. They speeded it. Yeah, that's fun. Yeah.

That's Georgia Tech for you. I was homeschooled. ACC, baby. Are you homeschooled? Yeah. They were, like, all professing that down there at the other podcast, too. That's the only way to go now with these public schools. I don't know why I talked like them.

What was that like that? I shouldn't have done that. I should have done that. I know exactly which one you were doing too. I mean, good, not. Public schools. No, but they had a, I was like, this is kind of concerning because there was a somebody named, there was the, who, the German, there was, there was blondie.

No one had a name. There was the Italian, Blondie. Jersey Joe, yeah. Oh, did you meet the unit? The eunic. That's my brother. Oh, sorry. Oh, sorry.

You know what happened. No, no, no. No, no. He's just saying that's what his brother is. Look, if you hang around down there along, okay, you're going to come up with a nickname. Which one's your brother? Phil.

Yeah, he doesn't have a nickname. No, he's in charge. Makes the nickname. Yeah, he's the sheriff. He's the nickname, man. I get a new nickname every time he sees me. Oh, yeah. Timmy, Tommy, Johnny,

Jimmy, just whichever one comes into that. I can't wait to talk to him. after this and see what they hung you with. Oh, yeah. No, you have one. You don't know it yet. Oh, yeah. I'll give you, I'll give you example.

We had a camera man, okay, and he was a little short fella. Uh-oh. Oh, Phil, Phil named him no legs. That's true. Okay. But he had two of them. He had two of them, but hey, here's the reason why. We went duck hunting, we was in the woods, and we had waiters, and Phil had his boots on.

Yeah. So we shoots in the woods. Well, the next day, the guy shows up, and he says, said, oh, God, I knew I forgot something. And Phil said, well, what did you forget? The camera? And he said, no, I forgot my waiters. He said, well, grab my hip boots and wear them. Oh, yeah.

Well, we're going back to the woods again. So look, we're walking in a line and he said, hey, Phil, you're the waiters leak. Yeah. Well, we all turn around to look. No, his waiters didn't leak. Hey, that's written Phil naming him. And no legs. Ain't got enough legs.

Ain't got enough legs. Ain't got enough legs. That's reasonable. He put your head boots on, but, hey, his legs didn't. was so short, hey, the water come in. Is this an unfair observation to say, like, there's a lot of,

there's rivalries, there's nicknames, you can't get out, it seems like prison. It's definitely a life sentence. I quit and I still come back twice a week. Prison, Hotel California. Yeah.

There's a lot of, it's a well-paying prison. You tried to leave in that you Yeah, you can't leave. Yeah, that's right. It definitely has Perks. Yeah, that's a better way to say, yeah, everybody got a nickname. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, and their nickname is whatever you're the most self-conscious about. Yeah. No legs. What are some of the other ones? There's some awful ones. Evil eye. Horsehead, evil eye. Yeah, he's got a bad eye.

If you had any hint of red hair, you would be like Johnny Red. Yeah. Oh, thick legs. Oh, yeah. Oh, just whatever you observe about the person. Yeah. I guess their first comment about me was. my hair. That's what they talked about right at the beginning. Oh, flathead. Oh, high hair.

He'll call you something. It's something about wind that I was, I was, I was, I was, my head was out the window the whole time on the way down here. It happens. He's trying to get smell of the paper mail out. Which side is that on? Oh, it's right there. That's on our side. That's on our side. It's west Monroe. You might be entitled to compensation here about 30 years just by visiting. Check those infomercial. Check those infomercials at 2 a.m. in a couple of years. You may have something to qualify for you. Oh, yeah. You can make your way up.

That's a big place. Yeah, but it's fine. So Georgia boy ends up in Nashville. That's an interesting transition. Did it happen all at once? Or did life get you there? Your chosen career gets you to... Well, I lived in L.A. for a long time.

Really? Yeah. That had to be worse. Yeah, way worse. Yeah. But I had to tour Blondie. Blondie? Oh, is that Blondie?

I think so. Yeah. Is that her? We do this all the time, and the only person ever show up is Hunter, and then John Chris shows up, and we have a whole studio audience of everybody that works on all the podcasts. That's what they said about the other one. They never have anyone in here.

No. You're a big deal. We got to beg people to get here. Other than Hunter, he likes us. The most recent inmate. Inmate. Inmate. He said it was like Prusa.

The eunuch? No, the girl that's new to the family. Oh. Oh, Phyllis. Oh, wow. Hold on. She found out she was part and she stuck. He made that joke off camera, and I didn't know we were going to do it in camera.

But my man, it's still funny. New girl is still funny. He floated that one by us to see if we had a problem with it off camera. I soft-launched it. I self-launched it. And he realized that we laughed at it. He wouldn't. I like that.

That is. The new girl. She was the first one to greet us on the... That's because she didn't grow up here, so she's nicer than the rest of it. Oh, yeah. I was going to say, I wouldn't say it's the property. But, yeah, what would you call it? The layer?

Good manners. Yeah, she's just, yeah. She ain't like the rest of them. I mean, I'm pretty friendly kind of. But a guy drove in, a guy who drove in, I don't know who he was. He drove in within one of those, those four-wheelers? But six wheels. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh. But he was like. Oh, nurse man. Yeah. Yeah, nurse man. Chad, Chad Shills. Yeah.

I was like, is he like a actor? No. He's doing what he's doing. He helped. He helps Stone work on the place down there. Any dear Corey's speaking in Look at there

We got everybody in here Come on in Corrie's here too It is It is standing room Only in here Unbelievable Speaking the microphone across

Hey Hey Corr I'm the only This is the only person That I'm a fan of Because she's the only one That has come to my show Hey you like

Airedale dog See? What? Hey, you're smarter than you look Oh Hey I go Cory and Willie Have been to my show

That's the woman You want to be a good friend Brut Willie because you know Willie only does things I tell them to do. Yeah, see. Yeah. Yeah. And now,

can confirm. Hey, and that was back in like 2016, 17 before I got popular. Now I'm popular and they're all like, oh, come on the podcast.

And she was from original. She's an original. Original. And yeah, there's a whole buzz in the office like, John Chris is here, John Chris is here. Oh, yeah.

I came through. Yeah. Where was that show at? Do you remember? Family church. Back when I did churches. Yeah. I mean, I still go to church.

He said He didn't give it up, boys He's still going to church Not Church of Christ But no, no, no He's got music in the introduction, don't you? Godly Oh, wow

Somebody start playing a piano and get us to break Yeah, let's take a break Hey, security Security, get this guy out of here He ain't Church of Christ Unbelievable, I love it I'm going to leave on that We love you

Good to see you Oh, man Awesome I love it. Wait, they told me I have a Luke, I have a Luke Brian story. I love it. Is it family appropriate?

Yes. Okay. Well, that happened before, no mind. Okay, my buddy just moved. Wasn't on New Year's Eve, wasn't it? My buddy just moved to Nashville about a year ago. He likes to fish.

Like, just not, he just likes to fish in his backyard, ponds tree, whatever. He likes to go very, and so he's fishing in Franklin, in Franklin, Tennessee, which is right south of Nashville. Mm-hmm. And I don't know anything about,

fishing but I'm going to get some parts of the story wrong so he's fishing pulls out this fish from this river that has no business being there the harpeth river yes no business do you know the story no but i got a good idea of the guy i know i know that he probably caught a really big trout peacock mass it was either it was either too it was too something it's too big no or either all right so the but the so he's at the golf course going hey i caught this let's say trout and they go where were you and the guy's talking at the golf course he goes you're just south of luke brian's house and he said luke brian has damned and heated the river it's peacock bass to put his own fish in there i may or may not have most richest redneck thing i've ever

i may or may not have fished by those fish feeders i'm not saying anything about it he's like Hey, the same guy that stocks Luke Bryan's pond is the same guy that stocks Willie's Pond. Yeah, just saying, like, yeah. Hey, you want to catch some fish? Yeah, come on here. That's why when you started talking about fishing, Luke Brown, I was like, this checks out.

You don't even have to go much further. You have to heat it or cool it? It's heated it because I heard he was one. He was like, I'm going to put some peacock bass in my pond. Pretty nice interpretation. And they were like, well, they're from the Amazon. They'll die. He was like, no, no, he's talking.

talking about the, Luke has got giant rainbow trout. Well, then it cooled it for that. Yeah, because he had a heated. He's probably got a pond with cowl and peacock bass and the other one. Yeah, like they're dummy big. Yeah, he's saying it was ridiculous. Yeah, like, like Dodo. So, okay, so he stocked it with big, huge.

Yeah, and you can take a piece of the fish food and put it on a little hook and throw it out there and catch you one of them if you won't. Like it's... He didn't write a song about Bill dance for no reason. Yeah. He's living the dream. And he made a hug. But if you go out, if you're tracking, what?

What was that? He can really bathe a hug. Yeah. Luke Brian, baby. I love the hug. I'm trying to think if you're like, well, I was going to say if Black Panther existed, which it doesn't. But if you're. Let's take a break.

No. Get this guy out of here. No good. Nah, they keep me around. Somebody get Nate Burgatsy on the phone. Somebody's got to be a truth. Can we get a good comedian in here? Oh, wow.

Hey, can we put this guy out of jail? Oh, wow. Don't send me back to the unashamed. Yeah, you're going back. I'm more of the Chappelle show guy anyway. More Biblevers. Bad mouth and the black guy. Anyway, what was it?

Okay, if you hear about, isn't the, like, the ducks, there's like, she was telling me about there's like there's some on batteries, there's someone you pull them. There's a lot of things you do psychologically. For motion. For motion. Doesn't that make, isn't the reward of playing, doing that dance with the animal better when you get it versus if you just had a gigantic trial, you just don't be, there's no reward in that and catching it.

Oh, it's still pretty far. It is? Yeah. Huh. Yeah, you ain't redneck enough to not get the reward out of that yet. But if you're like, hey, there's this, there's this. I mean, that thing right there. Yeah.

You see, that's not a natural wild Louisiana. Hold it, hold it, hold it. You told the story. Hold it. Hold it. Go down there and cut the tag. They're all badmouthed. This is a high-fence deer.

Oh, yeah. God bless them, Mary. Okay. Yeah, yeah. But you still got to go out there and put the time in. Oh, so they're knocking on you. They didn't understand to let the deer come up there to shoot him. Yeah.

How much time? A couple hours. A plane, rad. Depends on how much money you have for the plane. Yeah. Hang air or Sessna, John. You tell me. With me, I don't have to have any money.

I don't have to have any money. What I do is go do a little event. Oh, yeah. Then the plane picks me up, takes me during. So, see, that's another redneck. Have you ever, have you ever done a show for a deer? No, I've done it for my... He has.

I have. I've even done a show for two houses. Can I ask? Yeah, and he lives in them now. I live in one of them. Yeah. It came in three pieces. It's wild.

They squeezed it together. Yeah. No, no, no. Hey. I got another one. Have you ever done a show at a crematorium? That's right. I have not.

I have. Really? Yeah. What was the show? It was a meeting greet. Yeah, it's a meeting greet. They advertised it. No, no.

Not a lie. This all checks out. Hey, it's in Florida and a lot of old people live in Florida. Business is good. It was a meet and greet, sign stuff. Yeah. Burns. That they will one day be in.

Yeah. That's not. That might be true. I don't know. So they knock on this one behind you because they say you know. Oh, knock on it up? No. You didn't work at all.

I'm knocking on it. Well, a lot of people do. Some people. Yeah. Yeah. there's a lot of people in the hunting world that would. I mean, that's probably like a 121, so it's not big enough. He's about 2.30.

Dang it. He's a lot of six age, 28 points, so he's a little more than that. If I was going to come down here, let's say, for the summer, whose house should I stay at? Would be the most, who would be the best? Food-wise would be, stay down at Cays and Fields. Food-wise? They got a trailer over there that.

Yeah, but they have a bunch of dogs and there's pee pads everywhere, so I don't know. Yeah, you may want to stay away from that. I'd say Willys. Just move in at Willis. You're kind of centrally located. He eats really good. There's a whole town over there. And whose houses has the gate around it?

You're going to need to be more specific. On TV, man. What? Yeah, feeling K's. No, we didn't go by there, but we heard about it. Oh, they didn't give you the code. No, they didn't. Yeah, they said.

We're not, only one podcast. It's not this. They were talking about the dogs. That's the first line of defense. Oh, yeah, the dogs. Yeah. When the dogs start barking, then Phil's got an AR,

you know, 15 loaded with 60 round clips. Just in case. Okay, just in case the dogs, okay. Gun stuff. And the whole deal is, hey, look, you know, we want you to show up. We'd rather have a Bible study, but if you want to have a war,

we'll accommodate either one. We'll accommodate either one. Why don't you have anything to say? Martin's done You hear it so many times Wow we're really We're really trotting down this path again You know we can't run it

So Hunter's over there writing a note Why can't we run that? Hunter's over there at 3852 If you go to Phil's house Hold it why can't we run this Willie got on the plane That's got 360 people on it and set it Yeah Willie

Willie made a threat to the plane What? No he just stood up and said Hey, if you come down there, did you watch Conair yesterday? That was Nicholas Cage. Yeah, that was Nicholas Cage. And Willie was on Jimmy Fallon when he said that. Not on a plane.

He was on a plane when we went home, though, Con Air. Yeah, he went on a plane to get there. Yeah, that's true. Oh, wow. I wish you would have got to go to Phil's house, though, because he sits in the same chair, and he's got all of his things beside him. Oh, yeah.

And it says medical, snacks, gun stuff. glasses and gun stuff. Oh, like all his dividers of all this. Yeah, he's got like one of them little four compartment bills. Yeah, all of this is in reach of his recliner. Yeah, that's where do you know that M-16. So you don't want to go past the gate without an M.

I guess it's, I guess it's an AR-15, not 16. Oh, yeah. But he does have with 30-round clips. What is this? He does have those duct tape together. Yeah. Hey, you fire off 30-round, then turn it over and put another in there. Yeah.

30 more. Yeah. That's a lot of bullets. Yeah. I shot a gun one time and I had too much moisturizer on my hands and it slipped out. Yeah. Oh, whoa, no.

That's not funny. That's dangerous. Well, no. Is that a true story? Yeah. They went into, I went into buy a gun in the, in, I just Google, somebody was like, you got to get a gun because I have a house. And I was like, okay.

But my family's like, we will protect this land. My family's like, man. That's just my acre. My family, not even. town home. Okay. Hi, Kevin McAllister. What's your doing?

It's a townhouse. It's a town town. I'm getting roasted my guy with the trailer. I know. This is fantastic. It's a simple one. I'm kidding. Look, first I got to do it,

I'm working. I love it. So I'm moisturized. So then you Google. Tell me. Yeah. No, I go. I wouldn't.

All right. So my family, my family is men and So it's like they're from the Amish They're very like pacifist Is that why you had that haircut that one time? Yeah my my bowl cut Yeah It was a lot back to your roots

Kind of like how you have a beer Oh wow, what a life Same type thing Oh man this guy is rich Not to interrupt your story though But see you know going back to nicknames One of our cameraman's nickname is actually the Mennonite Is it?

Yeah What does he do? You can see him it'll make sense later He still works here Yeah They went from the Mennonite to Frodo It just all makes sense. It'll all come together.

I'll swing you by there on your way out of it. You just wanted to see you. You can just wave. Oh, oh, the minute of that. Okay, hey, hey, hey. Why is he in a cage? Yeah, no, or. Oh, Jordan.

Anyway. Go ahead. So I googled gun, like, I've known nothing. I googled Gun Stolt. He's like Thorntz. You're on a list now, by the way. Yeah. Yeah, when somebody looks like you Googles that.

Yeah. They're watching. Who's Sergeant Schultz? He was on Hogan's Heroes. Oh, and I'm supposed to know that. Yeah, that's back in 1900. Did you guys know that? No.

Oh, you're just going to let it go. I get made fun of it on the show for not knowing. He referenced something. You guys didn't know what it was, and you go, we'll just let it go. Well, most of the time I do, Hogan's Heroes wasn't my jam or my grandparents' jam, so I didn't really watch that one. I'm very adept at MASH and some of the other ones, but not Hogan Tiers. I don't have a clue what he's talking about when he talks about TV.

Yeah, he just let it go. Anyway, so you bought a gun So I went in there You googled guns store And I went and I was like I thought maybe There was a lot of guns in there I thought maybe they just like measured your hand

Or they're like here's We fit you Or here's your Custom fit I thought we fit They like measure your hand And like here's yours Yeah

And there was like a lot of And they were like we'll try I go I'm not trying I'm not touching my fingers On all these guns It's crazy Yeah

I get that I can see. They were like, what kind of gun do you want? What do you look for? I was like, I go one that's like, that's what I said. Pumped shotgun. Okay. Yeah.

That's what I handed you. Yeah. No, but you can get one of these that does that. Oh, yeah. Yeah, if you work the magazine and slide on a pistol on a hand. And it has like, the guns, the bullets are like this. Mm-hmm. What does that call?

A magazine? Yeah, it's just where you put them in a magazine, but it could be a 9mm, 40, 45. Man, the sky's a limit. I got it in my car. Me too. I haven't, I never shot it before. You've never shot it?

Or any gun. Oh, really? You won't do that before you get out of here? Yes. We can go change that in the back parking lot. Yeah, we're not in the city limits.

I got a shotgun back of my truck. I'll give you a shell. Well, I call my brother-in-law, he's a cop. And I was like, hey, what if I, like, shot this off my, like, balcony? That would be bad.

Yeah, that's not a good look. Well, I texted him, and he calls me immediately. He goes, do not do that. Yeah. I was like, oh. Because you had too much lotion on your hand. Yeah, because it's a safety issue.

We don't want to hit the person below you because you don't drop the gun on their head. But you did fire it and you dropped it? No, I did. I shot a gun one time and it... Did it hit you in the face? No, it came back. Yeah. Yeah.

That's what they do. Yeah. Something going that way, going to do something going to have that way, too. But you guys shoot the... Yeah, squanto, we do. Got gun, rifle. Squand. What's...

He said. You got shoot the... No, he went there. You went Squanto and I went Mel Gibson like the Patriot. And then turn your head that way the Flint won't get in your head. He's getting his musket ready. Hey, tell you what, we'll give him credit for that deer in the fence if it was... No, no, hey, I've shot at probably 30 deer with a bow.

Yeah. Scared every one of them. I always do something wrong and never kill them. And you got to go find the arrow. Yeah. Then you got to go look at. look for the arrow. Then you've got to find a deer. They're actually expensive. Yeah, the arrows are expensive.

They are now. Oh, no. Did the arrow guys and the gun guys, are they competitors? They don't like. The arrow guys think they're better than you know. Well, some of them, well, they are. Yeah, that's true. They are. No, no, they are. Yeah. The arrow guys. Because a guy that kills one with the stick and a string.

Yeah. He's got, you know. Even though today, stick and string shoot about 400 feet per second. So there's a lot. Well, I know, but I mean, you know, but you still. have got to have the go. Yeah,

Lauren had Aeroon. Yeah. That's a guy from the Lord of the Rings. Well, hey, and the wrong one. He was talking about Legulus.

Oh, shoot. I prefer a rifle. Oh, yeah. Wrong one. Sorry. Couldn't let it go. Meanwhile, his reference to Mr.

Schultz, you let that go. And I'm getting fact-checked on my Lord of the Rings characters. Didn't see that coming in and Duck Commander, did you?

Well, no, no, because look, I've handled guns all my life. Been in the military for 24 and a half year. Yeah. We was out at somebody. It's over there with less green. Yeah. His name is evil. I by the way. He's got an AR-16

that shoots automatic. Yeah. That's like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Yeah. So look. Yeah. I was going to shoot it and I had forgot about how much power. Yeah. I got that video. You put it on auto. Oh, yeah. I got the video. So when I started doing it,

Hey, me and that AR-16 was dancing and the AR-16 was leading. And Stone started running. Oh, no, and everybody else was vacating the area. Oh, yeah. But I stayed on target. Oh, yeah. That's why when you come back with a gorgeous animal, people are going to call it into question. Yeah.

Yeah. They're going to be like, oh, yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Are you looking for the video? I have that video somewhere. Oh, there you go. Exhibit out.

Watch this redneck. Okay, then this is the man that's been in the military for 24 and a half years. That's what happened to me, dude. So. See, now you're completely validated. Oh, that's right in. Yeah. Same hat.

Look at it. Look at it by running. Look at Stone just starts shooting for no reason. Who is that guy? He's on this podcast a lot, but I've never noticed Stone's extra. Oh, yeah. Pull it out. He actually, pah, pah, okay.

Why everyone's shooting, might as well. And you're instructing people. Yeah, he's giving tips on gun safety after just watching that. Here's what you need to do. But no, where would folks find you, John? Everywhere, anywhere. The internet. Yeah, internet.

Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, all the thing. The internet's not catching on. There's a lot of people without the internet around here. Well, he's one of them. Yeah. He's got like a billion followers or something like that. I know. I like how.

But what's wrong with a billion and one? Yeah, well, that's what I'm saying? He should be easy to find. Every, it's wild to me that every four, by four and gun and unbelievable hunting toy that is around here is because of the internet. Yeah, pretty much. And then they're like, the internet. It's the devil's highway.

All three of your houses are from the internet. You know that right? Put them together now. They put them together. Still one house. I'll go home to my poor little town home. Well, no, no. Because, hey, here's the deal.

Okay. Computer. Oh, wait. Do not get a lot. Yeah, they don't get a lot. I feel that. Yeah. Yeah.

They never compliment bad cooking is what they said. That is a very true statement. That's the wildest thing I've ever heard. What do you mean? Do you compliment bad cooking? No, they just go. Well, I don't know. You do if that's all you won't ever eat.

Yeah, that's what he said. He said the same thing down. I've seen Si eat food in front of people he loves and look at him and go, that ain't much. And put it down and walk away. I need to be a part of this community, I feel. No, the meal time gets weird. Oh, yeah. Well, you're around at Robertson's?

Yeah. You better have, you know, kind of tough skin. Oh, yeah. No, not kind. Yo, hey, honestly. All right, well, listen, I'm going back to the airport. I'm going right to the airport from now. If people say, hey, what was it like down there?

What am I supposed to say? Well, you're just telling the truth. You want me to? Yeah. Do we not want you to do? I thought we were being cordial here. We'll give you our Yelp page. You believe it's an honest review, right?

That's fine. We got thick skin. We can handle it. Trust me. Duck Commander's Google review gets one star from chocolate. So I don't know about these guys. But I did get to shoot a gun in their parking lot, so that was cool. Oh, man.

Well, no, because when they're out and I'm not there, everybody always asks them, you know, talking about, hey, does I really like that? Yeah. No. No. He's way worse. A way worse.

Did you watch Duck Dynasty? Yeah. Well, I came around toward the end when there was like, they were having like a lawnmower race, and I was like, Oh, yeah. A lot more race and then... You should have started at the beginning. Someone was going to...

Corey... Somebody was going to take Sadie to get a prom dress. Oh, that was the season... Is that late? That's early. That's early. That may have been me. That was when the show was good.

That may have been me because I was dancing with a mannequin in some dress shop. And when did A&E screw it up? No, A&E didn't screw it up. Oh, no. Well, they did. Just that part. Just that part. Just that part.

They just didn't do the episode. Okay. They didn't do you. What did they need do for you there? They didn't do your right. Oh, no, no, no. I had to want. They still send him a check every quarter.

Oh, no, no. Once I was in Alabama, I was on welfare. You know, and the lady. No, no, no. And the lady asked me, Mr. Robinson, what would you really like? I said, darling, you don't want to go there. Yeah. She said, no, no, I really want to know.

If you had your dream job, what would it be? Yeah. And I said, well, I said, I'm telling you you don't want to go there. She said, yes, I really want to go there. She said, yes, I really want to know. Let's do it. I said, okay, here you go. I said, I want for somebody to run up on somebody that's got way more money than they got

cents. Oh, yeah. And I said, voila A&E. That's true. It took him 60 years, but he found them. Hey, I found him. And they probably made more money off that than you did. Yeah, they probably said the same thing about you.

Yeah. They ripped you off, man. You were the star of the show. I don't know if you've heard. Well, I'll just say this. they didn't rip very much. Oh yeah, he's doing all right. Because I'm doing all right.

But hey, I could have ripped them for more if they kept going. But I feel like he knows, tell me if I'm wrong, but he knows that if we're going to do any kind of remake or any kind of anything, he's the lynchpin. It can't go without him. Yeah, but he would be easy to talk into it because he's like, he's the ultimate team players. Oh, yeah, he's getting here.

Yeah, he's like Derek Jeter with the Yankees. y'all not having a team without me. Yeah. Look at them now. And to be fair, I'm not playing without him. Yeah. See, there you go. But let's listen.

Please don't stop this. Being this boy could not have made it if we grew up together. Oh, yeah. But there's some other, we don't have to. We'd probably both be in the pen. Oh, yeah. There's a very strong chance of that. We don't have to say, we don't have to mention names, but there's some people that we could go on without, you know.

I mean, between us. I don't want to say, because I think I'm one of them. No, I was going to say. I was going to say, to be very fair. Yeah, one of them's me. Like, you know But No, I mean

Hey I was on one episode Of Duck Dinus Sometimes you just got to know Where you stand Hey, You went in the movie The Blind son

Yeah, that counts Hey, Kate Extra Yeah Yeah Yeah, he's a He's a sag member Oh yeah

Yeah They cut every line I had Yeah I am They said Hey, we need you to come Do some lines It didn't work out

You're a face You're gonna be on that weird Award show On TBS The Kela's? No, The SAG stuff The Kloves.

No, we're not a part of... We're trying to win a K-Love award, by the way. It's Klove. The Klove Awards. Every other podcast in this building's got one? Not us. No, not even close. Can you give us something inspirational?

Because that's what they've all won. I'm going to hurt you. I'm going to hurt you. For sure. I did that... But you used to do churches. I did it. What, exactly?

That's the problem. Now he just roast churches. I did a monologue at the Kloafin Award. in 2019 and they cut the entire thing. I heard about that. Wait, really? Yeah. Yeah, I've been there.

This is hilarious. You want to give it again? We probably won't cover it. We'll run it. Because look, my church asked me to roast the staff for their Christmas party. Terrible idea. I was like, I don't think I want to do this. And somebody said, no, you heard what they did John Christor for Caleb 2019?

I was like, I'm way smaller than this. I'm out. Oh, man. They were like, well, that was just like the whole deal of, you know, Willie's, what, 50th birthday? They're like, hey, roast your boss. You're like, he signs by paychecks. He doesn't sign them, but, you know.

He has somebody for that. Yeah, he has a guy or a girl, technically. Becky. Yeah, Becky. There you go. But, no, I'm not roasting the boss. That's done. That's suicide.

They had me roast my pastor. Bad call. Terrible idea. Yeah, but easy jokes, man. The preacher jokes are a plenty, right? I called one of them a missionary to the Frenchman's Ben Country Club. There you go. See?

I said, here I am, Lord, send me. Yeah, send me. Nobody laughed. No. I said Zakeas was his favorite, his favorite Bible character because Jesus loved rich people and so does he and not just nothing. Nothing. I mean nothing.

Hey, well, you're getting a great reaction from a professional. I know who would laugh at that. Rich people, so does he. Seriously, that campus is in a really nice part. They laughed at that funny. They laughed at that one. Well, hey, look, people don't like rich people. Yeah.

Yeah, I hate you. What are you talking about? America loves you. Hey, that's because he started from the bottom now he's here. You ain't rich. I ain't rich. He's not rich. He's not rich.

He's a man of the people. You forgot your wife's birthday and you just gave her a blank check and said, go get what you want. Go get something, honey. Hey, I want to be able to sleep at night. You got to keep the woman happy, son. She got to hurt you? Hey, hey, has she got red hair? it's a good point

yeah she's made got any redhead jokes he's got go ahead John oh I already tried it I did it on the other

podcast they did all those and they he hit her on the other did you really start telling a story and Phil

just start flipping the pages of his novel yeah I was telling the story and I just look over there he goes yeah

yeah he ended up back here in Galatian somewhere probably I thought it was going to end I thought the podcast was going to end

in like in every head bow every head bowed every eye closed no one looking around. Yeah. Would you slip your hand up?

And we're waiting on you. Yeah. It's like, I think I'm the only one. Did you get a thank you? Yeah. Thank you. Thank you.

They just call down people who they want to witness to. They just call, yeah. I see those hands. Yeah, I see. Yes, yes, yes, all over this building. Thank you for those hands.

Those happen at like, we speak in a lot of wild game dinners and stuff, but those always happen and it's crazy. So I'm like, I'm part of the, I was in theory, the person here, so do I look up, or I bow? I'm confused on what to do here.

Yeah, can I go back to the green room? Yeah. Well, I'm going to do the Civic Center. You're going to do the Civic Center here? Yeah. You said I should come back. Yeah, brave. Yeah.

I'd recommend going with Sadie, but when she has it. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's safe then. All a bunch of white girls are. Then it'll be good. No, you can come. Come do the Civic Center. They used to have a hockey team in there.

Do they? Yeah. The Monroe Moccasins. We like drunk people that fight, so minor league hockey really took off in this town. Yeah. Or you just drive around on a Thursday night. Like it's not They set up in

We have a video bingo Hall in the front of the building Like if you want to say drunk people fight We got you I go what is that I go what is that video bingo They change the name from poker to bingo And all of a sudden it's okay

It's weird I don't know Yeah you want to go gamble after this I thought it was like a video Like a blockbuster We have one You do We have a national video

This is unbelievable You can rent a DVD in this town And get a late fee This whole This whole town is like a ride At Epcot Center I can go with that You're going to tear up another mic

He's the only one that's ever broken a microphone in here He's on like number three He breaks one every time he comes in here That was it That one got me So This is crazy And I was like what is that

I was asking her everything What is that there? Oh it's a paper mill I go what is that And there I go still I go This is unbelievable And then you ran into two chickas

Side by side And then we kept going I was like dude Is Walt Disney a part of this no no they used to it would have been but then they went woke and we're out next time you come back you got to have a season passed now we're way more jerry springer than Walt Disney oh man oh this has been fun it has been absolutely I know you're a busy guy but if you ever get bored and want to take another ride at Epcot you're always welcome back here oh yeah well this is this pretty much solidifies uh that uh

Sadie's podcast is off the table now for me after listening to this. So that's out. Unashamed, I can't go back to. So it's just y'all. That's fine. Yeah. Hey, we take all the misfits and degenerates. You're welcome.

Yeah. And we're not going to K-Love either. No. Hey, they're in the biblical set. What's it called? The Christian section? Oh, yeah. A podcast?

Oh, you'll find us in leisure. It's us, the card nerds, and the World of Warcraft losers all in the same. Dungeons and Dragons. Oh, yeah. Dungeons and Dragons. No offense, Hunter. I'm just kidding. He only plays Dungeons and Dragons a couple of times.

Here's a deal. At least we're biblical, we love them all. Come on, we love them all. We do that. I like the idea of the Christian charts looking over the charts, and they go, oh, these guys, and they go, well, let's listen to it and see if they apply, see if they qualify for our category. And they go, we can't.

We went to leisure. We got out. We're in leisure. We're not even in outdoors. We're just. leisure. Yeah. Yeah, we don't, well, it fits for size. He's never really belonged anywhere. And he's kind of belonged to everywhere. And he's the king of leisure. Yeah. I guarantee you, you're not going to smile more than spending time on him. So, oh, yeah. But you will laugh a lot more

if this guy's involved. I can tell you that. I belong in heaven. Amen. I do. I'm a child. That's his theological thing as we do. I'm trying to keep my innocence. Amen. Oh, yeah. Well, you guys can all come on my podcast any. time you can't Nashville. I'm in. Yeah. I'm just going to show up one day and you can get this guy out of here. Remember me? You already? Oh yeah. I'll have all different britches. I'll still probably have on something from Zara. Yeah. I'm going to have to look up what that is. My camouflage comes from from academy, but we'll be all right. No, John, it's been a pleasure. Absolutely. For real. If you ever, and if you ever find time in your schedule and you want to go try the duck hunting.

Oh yeah. As you put it, the duck hunting. The duck getting. My girlfriend's from Bentonville. Arkansas? Yeah. Really? Yeah. So I know if she said North Arkansas. Her last name, Walton? No, I wish.

That'd have been cool. Yeah. They'd be a whole lot cooler if it was. They got the private jets. Yeah, a bunch of. Oh, they got a bunch of them. Yeah. But, no, if you ever are or Malt too, you're always welcome.

That's where I would go. We'll laugh a lot. Number two, right behind something critical role, Dungeons and Dragons. Oh, I'll take it. Oh, yeah. Well, hopefully after this episode, we'll, oh, yeah. We'll let you know. We'll let you know.

But thank you, John, for coming about. We're going to get out of here. We'll see y'all next time in the duck call room. Yeah, you close it out. I got it. Nehemi said, go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks and send some of those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve for the joy of the Lord is your strength.

Today. Just be happy, people. Get some joy. Yeah, laugh, smile. We end it with a Bible verse. Amen. There it is. That's it.

Yeah. That's what qualifies us. But we'll see you next time here in the duck call room. I googled it too. We're out. Mac, Mac, let's go. It's not allowed, but I'm going to shoot that. I'm going to shoot that stump that's going to the underground.

Love it. Let's go. Wow, shit. It's not, wow. I'm good. I got you. I got you. I just see my massage therapist in the morning.

I don't get it out.