Duck Call Room - Uncle Si Wants Therapy, So We Got a Counselor

Episode Date: May 5, 2026

Uncle Si had a simple idea—bring in a real therapist and ask some honest questions. Dr. Emily Jones joins the show to talk about everything from war trauma to marriage and parenting, and even the surprising reasons communities like “furries” exist. Martin is eager for advice on raising twin boys with an unfortunate bathroom habit, while John-David proves once and for all that he does, in fact, have smart friends. Duck Call Room episode #549 is sponsored by: https://buyraycon.com/duck — Get 15% off today! The Everyday Earbuds Classic are the perfect addition to your everyday routine. Thanks Raycon for sponsoring! https://trybeef.com/duck — Get 10% off your first TriTails box straight from their ranch to your door. https://rocketmoney.com/duck — Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster! https://factormeals.com/duck50off — Get 50% off and free daily greens per box with new subscription using code duck50off at checkout! *Terms and conditions apply - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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You can get one of these if you move too much. This is a one and done situation. Oh, no, you'll be back. If you're good, this, hey, we'll put you on payroll. Well, you got to put your headset on before we go there to infinity and beyond. Do we have to explain what we're doing? I think so. But we don't know what we're doing.

The Starship Enterprise is always going to places they say that no one's been before. So that's what we're doing today. We're doing it today. We're fixing to go. Should I get the background? I'm going to have a counseling. sigh the other day i'll just do the backdrop real quick before i introduce our guest before we're at we're at sys house it was me philip mcmillan licensed counselor and sai who was and sye was like we need a

counselor to come on and just talk about stuff and maybe sai has a few questions no no and i was kind of like well that philip's been doing that for 30 years he's like not philip and immediately in my brain, I was like, well, there's Scars mom. Oh, my gosh. I am Scar's mom. Remember Zazzo Carter? Mm-hmm. Oh, I was like, she raised Scar.

My son was Scar. From the, okay. And I've known Emily for a while, and she's hilarious to me, even though she's not trying to be. And so I was like, I texted her, I said, Emily, side needs a counselor. Are you in? And sure, her immediate answer was no. Immediate answer. That was absolutely not.

Wait a minute. Holy. But I talked her into it. So we have Dr. Emily Jones, Ph.D. LMFT-S-S, comma, LPC-S. That's right. So forget all that job. What do you actually do for a living? So I'm a counselor by trade.

Hey, you're a psychiatrist, in other words. No, that's actually illegal for me to say that. So no, just a counselor, no medicine. Well, you got a PhD? I do. I'm a doctor, but not the kind of. makes good money. Ah.

That sucks. Yeah. Yeah. But she's one of the smartest people I know, Sa. So I work at a nonprofit locally and I'm a clinical director there. I teach online for a master's program in counseling. And then I do a little bit of private practice for myself. Oh, wow.

I told you all I had an expert in the world. Lots of branches. I like. Yeah. Yeah. That's cool. She even has a website. Diversify and income.

I like that. We can talk about that. I'm the only place I can find you. Oh, here we're. Well, my question is, do you have a battery of test or questions that you ask a patient? We do, yeah. Well, good. Let's run through that.

I don't think we can do that. Well, you mean, I can't do that. We can, I don't know. She's in that daughter. So am I. We can do this. I'm here today as a friend of the podcast that's counselor adjacent. I'm not here to be your counselor today.

I didn't bring my instruments with me. You have instruments? Oh. You know the test. Oh, you have tools of the trade. Tools of the trade. I didn't bring any of that with me today. I was probably hoping she had like a brain scheme.

I was excited. I don't have one of those. An EEG to put on him while we're doing this. That would have been awesome. Oh, no, that would have been. Yeah. What? Like some weird.

It may be a flat line. It might be a flat line. Yeah. Oh, yours is definitely moving all over the place. Yeah. I bet that you, we got to get the next one after Emily. I just had an idea. We've got to have Si, I take a polygraph.

Oh, that's a good idea. Because I'd like to see those things jump all up and down on him. Do you have any patients that went to NOM? No, my dad was in Vietnam, though. He was a Marine and had pretty severe mental health issues after all. And also drank a lot to self-medic. Well, no, no, because most people say, well, was you in any heavy action? And I said, no.

I said, but you don't understand. Yeah, it didn't matter. That doesn't matter. And I had a guy that won the military. of honor for his action in Vietnam. And he said, here, hold it. And I said, no, that's your. And he said, no, he said, you serve, right?

And I said, yeah, I said, but, but no, you know, that belongs to you or what you did. And he said, no, it doesn't. Part of it belongs to you because you serve. Well, he screwed my head up when he's done that. Okay, because this man got shot like five times and saying, numerous of his buddies, you know, during combat action. But people don't understand that if you go to a foreign country and the foreign country,

you're in war there, and, you know, all they want to do is kill you. Well, it does something to your psyche. It does. My dad's the reason I'm a counselor, because I grew up with him and all of the things that he experienced from that, and I wanted to be helpful. Well, somebody had asked me, said, well, did you think you have to be helpful? any of the trauma involved with war? I said, probably.

Probably. I do. I imagine because I don't even know. Yeah. Because when I, the reason I say that, because on Veterans Day, okay,

and they start running all these war movies, I'm watching a war movie and just brushed out crying. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm going, what is wrong with you? Well, you had trauma.

And y'all came home and just had to go back to life. No, no, because if somebody would have got in my face, I know. No, yeah, that would just be one of them, hey, that's something you don't do. Well, I'll tell you right now, so my son and John David's son are in the same grade, and Henry came home and told me that they were learning about hippies in their social studies. Well, our kids are learning about hippies?

They're learning about hippies in their social studies class. Oh, boy, I don't think you girl Carter quite hard. And Henry said, do you want to know what? I said about that? And I was like, no. Yes. I want to know what Henry said. Well, they started all of his little friends,

apparently know all of his grandpa stories about what his grandpa would say about hippies. And I was like, keep that down. Keep that quiet. Yeah. Hippies are. Well, no, no. Because that's, see, that's what I look at today. Our young people, get great stuff they can get into,

especially if they got one of these stupid things out here. There it is. There we go. Emily's an expert in this. Well, no, no, because... He hasn't said anything wrong yet. Keep them. I was shocked to hear that our kids today spend like 80 hours a week.

Oh, it's a lot. On this. 80 hours a week. And they asked a machine a bunch of questions. And then it gets so bad that they kill themselves after they ask this stupid machine a question. Yeah, it happens. and kids are getting exposed younger and younger. Well, no, no, that's another thing.

So that's one of the reasons we wanted Emily on because you've been yelling about cell phones for a minute. So far, size, the person I agree with most in this room. No, no, because I haven't said it. The kids of today have got a lot of crap to wade through. They do. That's true. I'm serious. I will say, though, like a lot of what's going on, though,

is kids are not connected in their home to their parents because parents are distracted by their cell phones or their jobs. Kids are not connected at school because, you know, COVID, they got pulled from school for a few years. And what you're saying there is, it's isolation. It is. And it's a lack of connection and modeling. Hey, that does. That's messing with your psyche.

It does. It has a huge impact. Okay. Is if you become so isolated, that's where you like a guy goes berserk, starts. shooting up people. Well, and kids don't have... Because he's got no one to talk to. Yeah. To tell him, hey, dude, you know, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, your thinking is wrong on this. Yeah, or they don't know how to talk to people. And that's a big thing to you right now with AI. Kids are going on like chat GPT and actually AI gets smarter and learns how to talk to you. And so kids are

struggling socially, but then connecting with AI and thinking that that's a real relationship. And that happens a lot. A lot. That literally scares the, you know what out of me. It's something to be very aware of. Is that you would trust a stupid machine? Well, when you're 10 years old and nobody teaches you how to monitor that for yourself for what to do on the internet or you don't have a, maybe you have a hard home and you

don't have anybody to talk to. I guess it's because they're missing a common sense. I would say so maybe, but also like. I think a lot of it is there's not a lot of connection for kids. They don't know how to connect with other people. They don't know how to be in relationship with others. It's getting harder and harder for kids to do that. And adults, by the way.

It's not just kids. Father's Day's easy this year. Is it? Yeah. What? Beef. Beef. It's so simple.

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visit trybeef.com slash for an extra gift with your order. That's trybeef. dot com slash grab something special for dad, fire up the grill, and celebrate 250 years of American legacy with some outstanding Texas beef. So I got a question. I got lots of questions. I got lots of things too. But Emma, what would you say your area of expertise?

Yeah. Is there like one that you're more? Yeah. Okay. I didn't know if like in that, you know, like biologists, that's what I am, I'm a trained biologist. I was the nerd side of this thing. You didn't finish.

Yeah, don't care. Look what happened. She wrote her papers. That's good. I wrote, there's like three quarters of mine. I never, I never defended. It's written. It's just not defended.

So expertise as we were. Parenting. Parenting. Oh, oh. Okay. All right. I like that because I got questions about twin boys that are drastically different. Yeah.

My expertise is mostly trauma-informed parenting and then marital counseling. So like attachment and trauma, all those things around there. Okay. There you go. I got lots of questions. That's interesting. How do you raise Carter? And can I just send them to your house for me?

Y'all are doing a great job. Keep doing what you're doing. Yeah, keep doing what you do. Carter's a jeet, man. He's a great kid. Yeah, he's doing nothing. He's a great kid. So if I were to come to you and say perhaps, you know, hypothetical situation here.

Because this isn't counseling. Yeah, it gets how this, yeah, it's just, you know, just hypotheticals here. Like you go outside and you find your twin three-year-old boys t-teeing on their dog. What, what? that's not a learned behavior what is this what's that about what could that possibly be um their boys okay uh they are

the dog off and just tell them to pee else we're in the yard yeah if that's your problem no it's only happened once in it well i mean it might have happened yesterday they're trying to figure it out they're trying to figure out what about his kid that headbutt stuff oh yeah like what well like like metal in the honey hole he just he acts like the pole was going to move

or something it sounded like What did he do after? He cried and come to me. I did not laugh immediately. I love that answer you gave. I waited a second. Well, he asked you that. You said, they're boys.

Yeah. It was less of a headbutton, more of just a direct. I bet he won't do that exact thing again. Yeah. Yeah, he's actually, he's the, what's funny is he's the safe one. That's what's funny. You have to realize kids are like constantly, we get confused and think kids should know things. They are constantly learning from every experience they have.

And so there's a lot of natural consequences. that are built into headbutting a metal pole. Well, he ran, well, he just ran face first into that one. No, he paused, looked at it and headbutted. Yeah, but I mean, I don't. I know this because we heard it, but I got cameras, man. You know, you on my Instagram now. Watch it.

It was on the security camera. Watch his kid. Boom. Oh, bud. Oh, bless. I did not laugh until about now. I laughed. Bob.

Did his brother tell him? It didn't look like he knew where he was running. Yeah. I think he was looking down. He wasn't paying attention. He wasn't paying attention. Yeah. His little eyes are looking down and him and his brother were running at the same time.

That went on purpose. That's one thing that most proud of the same. He's fine. That's one thing that one most parents say, oh, don't worry about it. He ain't paying attention. He's fine.

That poor kids had it rough, though, because the next day his mama hit him right between eyes with a football. He was looking and then he wasn't. so she, like, he was looking, so she threw it, he looked down about the time she let go and they looked back up. Boom, right there. I was like, buddy. I mean, we're going to get you a helmet. And you're the safe one.

Like the big-headed clumsy ones, the one that is reckless abandoned through everything. So that was, no, yeah, that's interesting. Yeah. Like their boys. Their boys, yeah. Is there any reason they'd be drastically different? Your twins? Mm-hmm.

Very different. Yeah, I think, I think people get confused when they see twins. Are they identical? No, they're fraternal. Okay. Well, then they're totally different separate sets. Yeah. They just came out at the same time.

And so. Yeah. I used to think that everything was really like, you know, people say nature versus nurture. Yeah, that argument's shot. Well, I used to really be like, it's all about nurture. Yeah. And like, the more biology I learned, because that's not my background, the more I realize, like, it's a huge mix of both. And so.

Yeah, DNA is strong. No, DNA is powerful. That's what I was thinking about, okay. You just talking about why they never. It's DNA. Yeah, DNA's power. Yeah. Yeah.

One of them got a lot of me, one of them got a lot of his mom. Yeah. That's so wild. Yeah. Did you ever learn about epigenetics? A little bit, yeah. That was something new that I learned too of like. We're getting left behind, buddy.

Did you hear that word? Those two just used? Oh, no, that's fine. Yeah. Genetics, I loved. What did you just say? I loved and hated those classes all at the same time. Epigenetics.

What? Epigenetics. It's basically, it's more of a new, it's a newer or more emerging field and study of like DNA because everybody thinks, so did you ever hear the word tabularosa? You did. No. Yeah, you did. Tabular.

Okay. That sounds like something out of Jurassic Park, Emily. So it's the idea that everybody comes out and it's a blank slate. So if I get a baby, it's all up to me how this baby turns out. Oh, no way. Blank slate, right? Yeah. Okay.

Well, epigenetics actually is a new field of study that shows that trauma and life experiences actually changes the way your DNA is expressed. And so think about whenever conception happens, what is passed onto a child to create them, DNA. So a child can have traumatic experiences expressed onto their DNA without ever having left the womb. This is the smartest thing I've ever heard in my life. This is why we had to. No, no, no. You know why I know about this?

Because I was drastically concerned why they were so different. So then I got to nerd and out and I was like, oh, my goodness gracious. Like, that's crazy, right? Like, they've even linked some of this stuff to just, like, even in men, sperm health. Just, you've got, you've got unhealthy sperm that make an egg. Yep. And so it leads to an unhealthy set of DNA. I mean, it's crazy, man.

It's wild. Like, it's wild what they're doing with that stuff now. What they figured out in genetics is it's a lot more than just ACGT in your DNA. Like, there's a lot more shifts in it. Well, no, like you said. Okay. Okay. When you look at all this when it comes together is insane.

It is. Okay. Because I look like when a woman is carrying a baby or two. Or three. You know, three or four. That's just mind-blowing, okay? That everything still works and she's gained 20 pounds right here. Yeah, it's a trip. So it's an experience.

We've never been. Oh, yeah, I know. That's why I see a lot of people. We hear kidney stones are worse. I always, they know I love the women. That was told to us. That's not our opinion. I was a guest.

That was a guest who, yeah. You know, moms are a, uh, they're a hybrid. A hybrid. Yeah. They really are because they put it with crap that they're not natural. Okay. Put up with a husband first and then they have babies and then put up. My husband's delightful.

My husband is a delight. He's one of the nicest people. Well, yes, he gets counseled every day. When I met her husband, I said, you inadvertently counsel your husband? Like accidentally. Like, you don't even realize it. Because you're refusing to counsel us today.

The only time it ever happened, we got in the fight in the car when I was in school, and I'm pretty reactive. And I sort of was like, okay. And I slowed down. I was like, well, tell me. And he was like, no. He was like, you will not therapy me.

I was like, I'm not there. And so, you know, he would rather rage. Emily than therapist Emily. Yeah, just go ahead and bite my head off. Get this whatever this is going to be. But do not ask me how this makes me feel. That's the only time. That's the only time.

I learned my lesson from there. Oh, that's funny. So you got marriage and you got trauma. And you've got raising kids. It all goes together. Carter asks me when he can get a cell phone. And we get that question a lot in emails. So what, in your professional opinion, my answer is never.

So I'll just, I mean, like my professional opinion. the longer you can delay, the better in my personal home. When Henry can drive, he will have a dumb cell phone. He does have a watch, like a smart watch that we program all the numbers into for him to be able to call. Are you the reason I have one of those watches? Maybe. It's a good thing to have. But no, he already knows that.

And they're already, you know, like, he's surrounded by kids at church and extracurriculars in school that already have them. And he's just already made his piece with like, yeah, that's not going to be my story. Okay. So. I think that's part. part of the problem, though. All these kids are getting together and, you know, one kid's cool because he has a phone. And then you have to make your kid be like the one that doesn't, hey, you're not that guy. Yeah. Well, I sort of told Henry, I'm like, our goal is to be set apart because,

you know, we're Christians. And so like, our goal is to be set apart. So, like, consider this practice of being set apart and it being uncomfortable and then phone for you. And like, sometimes you might get left out and that's okay. But I'm also thankful that, like, we have families that have similar views as we do. And other people have phones for different reasons. They may have family situations or work situations where that's needed. For our family, that's not something we need right now. And that's okay. But it's not just, it's not just a phone. That's the problem. Like, kids have iPads and tablets and laptops and all of those things. We're almost four years no iPad. Bravo, sir. Praise God. My kids do have iPads. We bought them last year. Henry is 11 and Hadley is six.

They have little Amazon fire tablets. But we also have, again, I know too much. much for my job. And so like there's no internet access on it. It's all whatever y'all put on there. Whatever we put on it. And they don't know our Wi-Fi passwords. So they can't get on. So if we go on a trip, we have to download all of their Disney movies before we get on the road if they're going to watch it. But we keep those in our bedroom. And like they don't have access to any of that in the house without us. See, pitching is work. And I think that's, like, what you just said, that was, you took a lot of extra steps there. And I think most people these days, you're just like, there, get after it.

Because when we, how old are you? I'm 40. You're 40. Yeah. You should know that. We're friends. I know, but you're younger than me. He's 37.

36, man. He's 36. Give him 15 days. My husband's 37. He just turned 30. So like. Niceest guy on earth. He really is.

He'd like him. But. Well, he takes a minute because you're like, is he really this nice? Oh, one of those. Like, are you up to something? But then. So nice. Like, where are you going to put the knife?

But he is. No, but then he turns out. There's no nice. It's just a pat on the back. Hey, that's good. But the reality is, is like we got these phones when we were growing up and now we're parenting. And like when we had these phones, it was a different situation. All right.

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they called themselves furries. What? Damn, that was a weird segue. Hunter? No, no, because I've been sitting here thinking about that because, you know, where did that actually come from? Have they been abused?

I know some of them have. But I'll tell you this. I don't know. I'm not super well adept on that situation. but just for like your knowledge, I do think the draw to any kind of community like that is that typically those are kids that have been very, very hurt and they find a place that they belong. Everything for me that I've learned in counseling comes back to people are looking for a connection.

And for me, like for us as Christians, like we know what that calling and that longing in their hearts are, right? Yeah. But people are, that's what everybody's seeking. That's what everybody's after. And a lot of times, kids that are struggling can find that community and can find that belonging in places that may not be the healthiest, but they belong somewhere. You know what I mean?

And so, like, that's the draw. It's like, kids want to move. Yeah, the isolation is over. Yes. I found my people. Yes. Well, and the reality is, is for kids that are different, you know, like, are they always accepted at school?

Are they always accepted at church? And the reality is, is like, no, because we don't do well with people that. are different from us. You know what I'm saying? And so like, if I'm gonna find, if I can find my people over here. That's so sad. It is.

And like honestly, we failed them. I was just gonna say, more than anything, it's sad like to me because I'm like, okay, so where have we missed,

like where have we missed the mark of making sure that people feel known and connected and loved for who they are, right? Because you can't, you can't draw people

if you're not willing to go towards them. So. Hey, there's a good line right there. That's a good one. preach that's a good one yeah you don't I go to her Bible class sometimes yeah now she's done quit bad letting it's super uncomfortable do you want to talk about John David in life group no absolutely I do I know no because with kids especially love to I always I always tell them

y'all because I'll ask them sometimes are you loved you all they'll look at me kind of funny and I said I got I got a point to it I'm going to show you the point in a minute answer me are you do you think your love and if depending on what to say. I said, well, hey, I'll fix this change yet for you right now. I love you and I don't even know you. And I said, then I got another one. Jesus loves you more than I do. And he says, so hey, don't you ever go anywhere and say, oh, nobody loves me. Because Uncle's side. I said, because I told you I love you. You can get a doll of each. We should put that on the TV. And like right now, I got a church. Every time I in church,

comes gives me a hug. I love that. Okay, she's like 13 and 14 years old, but this started when she's six. Yeah. Interesting. Okay, because they're walking around looking sad. And I'm looking and I'm thinking isolation.

I said, well, hey, come here a minute. I'll stop all this isolation crap. Man, this is the lowest my heart rates ever been on this show. Really? Because mine's. Well, no, no. I figured that we were kind of like anti-on each other. You've got a calming presence about you.

Well, the fact of the podcast. She's been very stressed about doing it. I know. She's a hot one over here. She's do more than, okay, I know I make people laugh and I want that. Okay, because laughter is good. But I want you, if you're out there and you're hurting, I want you to know that, hey, somewhere there you can find help.

Would it surprise you, Emily, that the number one, arguably the number one email that we get is relationship advice? From us. From us? Would that surprise you? Yes. Why? Well, hey, hold on. No, why?

And also, no, because even just sitting here, I've listened a few times because I've heard that my husband has been talked about on this podcast once or twice. All good things. Oh. It had to be you. I don't know the nicest down earth. I can't tell a lot of stories because, you know, I leave out where and win and name sometimes because I have been called to the principals. office before. But he is a principal. He was the guy whenever

we had to do the camp out and I just went to bed. Oh. And he was on point with them kids. They weren't going nowhere. So I was like, I can go to bed. Super nice. Super nice guy. I thought he was going to hurt some kids that night. And he had my support. Both hands. So he's got a good bluff with the kid. No, it's not a bluff.

Oh, okay. He means it. But I think also why people probably come to y'all for relationship, y'all are very candid with one another. And like, that's the thing. is like most people aren't going to be honest about what it is that they're thinking or what's true. Here's the thing about, and that's because of we're all Christians.

You know, if you know that I'm a sinner and I've already told you, I mess up and then I had to turn and walk and look up and say, yeah, Lord, this begins, yeah, I know, I know. I've done it again, I know. You know, well, if I've told you, I'm already messed up.

Yeah. You're not going to be surprised. That's true. Yeah. And I tell people all the time, don't depend on me. I'll always let you down. What would you say if I told you one of our pieces of advice was body slam her? That went viral.

I bet it did. Don't do that. It worked. It's frowned upon. We have a couple that got married. after that advice, Emily. Well, no, no, cool. Hey, I got,

hey, no, no, we don't. They were, they, he was afraid to ask her out. He asked us what she should do. And she always kept picking on him at work and God run. And his turn around and body slammer. He said, just walk up to her and body slammer. And he did it.

Yeah. Well, here's the thing. On to like a pallet of corn. What age group do you mostly see? Is there like, do you, preteen young adults because marriage and like that kind of stuff? this patient if we signed them up? I'm not going to answer that, but...

Oh, yeah, you can't technically say that. Are you not going to hurt my feelings? No, she can't say that legally. I'll answer that. So the place that I work at, we serve zero to 21. But when you're serving kids, like, in my opinion, a good children's counselor will work with the parents as well.

And so typically, if you're working with a kid, you're working with the parents. So I work with pretty much all ages. I got you. But I do enjoy, like, marriage counseling is one of my faves, and then I enjoy parenting and trauma. I do EMDR. Have you heard of that?

What? I don't know. I heard of it. EMDR? NBR. What do you mean? It's so scary. Have you got it done?

Yes. Why did it scary? Just, it changes a lot, it does. Really quickly. Very quickly. It's really cool.

The first time I heard about it, I was like, that's not real. Can we do it right now? NBR, what is that stand for? No. I movement, desensitization,

and reprocessing. What? And so it's actually used a lot with veterans to process the trauma that they experienced in all situations. But, you know, kids that are abused and neglected. So there's like a statistic that says children in foster care have just as much trauma as combat veterans. And so EMDR can be used with kiddos as young as six years old if they're able to all the way up to whatever age. And you look at their eyeballs? So you can do it with their eyes or I use buzzers that you hold in your hands.

all. Do you really want to know? Yeah, I'm Googling it. Oh, yeah, I'm interested. I'm about to go buy some buzzers. I've got a buzzer. It says gar. That's just a toy we have. A fan sent it to us. Eye movement desensitization. You should just put EMDR on there. There's a little YouTube website. Have you heard of? But they have...

Did you just make fun of it? No, I was trying to say there's a little YouTube website. And then I was embarrassed that I said that. You can cut that, Hunter. Nope. Leave it, Hunter. No, hey, any shot you take at him. We've got her comfortable now. Any shot you take at him as fair game. And me, by the way. So basically, whenever you have trauma, like trauma gets stuck in your brain and in your body.

And so EMDR uses something called bilateral stimulation, which means you're going from one side to another. So if you use eye movements, you would follow my hand. If you hold tapers, it'll buzz from side to side. You can tap on somebody's knees. You can do any of those things. And while you do that, you're focusing on a difficult memory along with the beliefs that you're came out of that difficult memory and we worked to reprocess it because your brain gets stuck

between the right and left hemisphere. And that's why you have visceral reactions to different things that might happen. So say you heard a loud noise. Okay. And there was somebody that was shot next to you a few years ago. And you're like, I know somebody wasn't shot, but why do I feel this way? And that that has been implanted in your brain and you can't get it out. Because when your brain learns that you're not safe, it teaches your body how to keep you safe. And so that's why a lot of people have big responses to things that we may think aren't that big of a deal, but they actually are. And so it's a, the first time I had EMDR done to me, personal story, not a therapy story, I like walked into the room and could not speak about what had happened without like falling on the

ground and crying. And I walked out of the room after it was over and I was like, okay, that happened. And so it doesn't like, it doesn't erase memories. It doesn't do anything like that. But it just helps the traumatic memory move through your body in a constructive way to where you can handle it. differently. That's why that day that I watched that movie and then burst into crack. Absolutely. My boss had to send me home after I had it done. You probably shouldn't go back to work afterwards. Yeah. No, it was not a good time. Yeah, it's tough and it can take a few sessions,

but depending on how rough it is, but it's my favorite thing that I do. Have I ever told Joe, I'm glad that like that's ever happened to me? What? Like there's, it was weird because me and Brittany did counseling and, like, one of the questions, and she would, like, tell me about your childhood. And I was like, I'm pretty friggin normal. Like, I mean, you know, with parents that stay together, like the family unit stayed together, like all these things. And so they were like, is there any?

And I'm like, no, not really. I mean, other than having to, like, run stadiums and crap, like that. I mean, I hate that. Well, I mean, I'm not saying, I'm saying life altering events. Yes, I'm saying life altering events. that are so prevalent in today's world, as divorcee, you know, like all those things that happen to such a high rate of people that get them to different responses and different things.

Like it was so normal. I was like, or what we define as normal, right? Like it was just kind of a- Would you not say that being on reality TV was a abnormal situation? Oh, yeah, that's weird. No, no, no, I'm not saying that. I was talking about- We're not normal.

No, I'm very well aware that my personality is very, very- abnormal. Well, no, I'm just saying even stuff like that, like things that we would equate as like, oh, that was a good thing. And it was fun. There can still be traumatic pieces to it. Oh, absolutely. What I tell everybody is stress is stress. Yeah. I had a cool little feature this morning on Rocket Money. Because it said, a large transaction was detected in your account. Uh-oh. Money coming in. It lets you know when it's coming in. It lets you know when it's going out. It is so convenient to have all of your money and finances right there in one simple app. You'd be surprised at how subscriptions can sneak up on you.

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One more time, RocketMoney.com slash... Doug. You can help me in my poker game. Yeah. I'm serious for the simple reason. She lost a lot of money. All she's doing when she's doing this with the patients. Yeah.

What? They give her tails. Either by the way their eyes are, the way their hands are, they start. The sign I'm wanting to know how to win. So I'm about to hire Emily to go help him. Sit behind me and tap on me when I should play. No, no, no, hey, this is really fascinating. Whenever McMillan's bluff.

It really is. Cy, you keep playing trash, though, you're going to keep losing. That doesn't change. That doesn't change. She can't help your poker game, man. No, no, because I've enjoyed this. No, I don't know. My life has been very abnormal from going, even, I'm saying the response of,

and there's video out there got like 5 million views of when we found out we didn't have one baby like we were told the first time. And there was, in fact, two of them in there. Yeah, I mean, I turned my phone off. I don't love to have been there when he saw the other one sticking his head up. Oh, man. That was a wildest. Because they look at it at one and then he said, wait a minute, what's that?

I know enough about transducers. There shouldn't be two of them. And mine's strictly from fishing. No, we had no idea. I love it. Oh, no, no, no. This was ultrasound. The way he said the other one popped out its head, it did sound like.

No, they were scanning. and then you go from one kid and like, why is there a mirror image over here? What it was, he was playing peekaboo with dad. Yeah. Yeah. On the ultrasound.

On the ultrasound. Yeah, early, I mean, early on somewhat, not the first appointment. Okay, so like even that,

like, I think people think to do EMDR, there has to be like some kind of crazy traumatic situation. Yeah. Like, stress is stress. And your body cannot distinguish like, oh,

two babies. That's such a gift. I'm sure that was still stressful. Oh, still is to this day. Even that kind of stuff. are things that you can do EMD around. It was more than stressful.

It was a shock to the system. Yeah. I'd love to have been wearing this little heart rate deal when I'd have. I'd like to have known what that spike was. Harton was not ready for twins is the crux of the whole story. Well, not when you've been told you're going to have twins your whole life and you go the first one. They're like, no, it's just one.

And you walk out and you're like, we beat it. We did it. Then you go back for that next one. And it's like, hello. That would be rough. Yeah, it just went well because my dad was a twin. Everybody and my whole family said, you're going to fool around.

You're the ones going to have twins. It was like, I got to brag for like four weeks. Like, ha ha. No, it wasn't us. We did it. And then, you know, here we are. I wouldn't change it for the world now, by the way. Hunter's a twin.

Are you a twin? There should be like twin therapy. What? Where they hit each other with bat? Well, I mean, that's got to be weird. Whelan and Jackson already. Have another one of you. Not another one of you.

Yeah, but it's like, like another one of you. I would just think it would be weird if I had a brother or sister that was my exact same age. I feel like I'd have issues. There's two minutes difference between Jackson and Wayland. I have issues and my sister's four years older than me. And so does she.

That may come from something totally different. I don't know. That's interesting. No, that's cool. Like that's that. Well, when she said she uses it with veterans. okay they've been through combat and all the stress that come with it and everything which you also do it with kids which and they're entirely different drama situations so to speak

yeah it's some i don't know kids trauma is really hard i think a lot of people are like kids are okay they're resilient and they are resilient but also they're totally out of control of their lives and so when traumatic things happen to kids like that's tough and a lot of times they don't have the language or the brain development to be able to reason through some of the things that they've experienced. And so I do think that's why it's very important. Like even going back to what we talked about with kids on cell phones, the internet,

things like that, they're not equipped to make good choices. And that's not a slight on children. It's the biological reality of their prefrontal cortex, which is the emotional and behavioral management center of the brain, is not fully developed until you were 25 years old. Hunter. You made it.

He said, Woo! My son lived next door. Okay. He's a vet. he was in combat so he was talking to Philip my buddy about he saw a homeless guy

and he wanted to know how to help him and that's what Philip does with kids well he had an episode one of his drama episode and I literally had to help his wife his mind shut his body off

absolutely we call that taking amygdala what Or it's in there too. Mygdala. Yeah, your amygdala is like the watchdog of the brain. So it's the thing that keeps you alive. And so if there is something that startles you, your startle response.

That threatens you. If it threatened you, your body, your mind will shut your body off. It can't harm. It might, or it's fight, flight, or freeze are the typical responses whenever your amygdala is triggered. What is yours, Martin? They has what a freeze. It depends on if I have a weapon or not.

that weapon makes it a lot easier to fight. For some reason, a dog chased me the other day when I was on a walk, and I kind of ran, but I also grabbed my headphones to hit it with it. So I guess I'm both. I'd start with that size 13 on you. Well, it came out of nowhere. Before I get them headphones. It came out of nowhere, so I jumped back and then I just turned around.

You laid a very insufferishing life. Thank you. No, I'm serious. Yeah. I mean, I don't think so. It's pretty relatively new in that response because, Oh, no. Oh, well, in school, it was always just fight or flight.

We didn't really cover freeze a whole lot. It's fight, flight or freeze. And the newest one that they're talking about now is Fawn. Fawn. What's that? Fawn is where, you know, I just went to a training and they described it as a combination of all three. But it's like, how can I get you to love me instead of threaten me? So think about if a kid's getting bullied at school.

And they can't fight them. They can't run away because they go to that school and, you know, freezing doesn't do anything. Well, maybe I'll become like the bully. Maybe I'll make jokes about myself so he won't make. So like that's an example of fun. It may not look exactly like that. But like whenever you try and adapt and like love me, don't hurt me, love me. Interesting.

I feel like I just got described. Okay. You're a fawn. Yeah. Right. Oh, no, that goes along with the isolation part. What happens when you dinner party phone? Because you know, everybody.

Okay. kids, I don't know. Everybody's searching and wants to be accepted. 100%. What advice can we give the audience? Can I interrupt real quick? Will you text Allison and see if she can get my kids from school? If she can just hold them?

No, and that is staying in the episode. Oh, and then I'll answer the question. Yeah, because apparently this one's going to take a minute if we're going to miss car pickup. I don't know. I know people out there hurting and I don't want to leave them. No, I appreciate that. I think number one is if you have a child at home, if you're a parent, what I would say to you that I've done in my own life is number one, you have to do your work. And so I know I'm a therapist, but I really do think that therapy is for everybody. I grew up in a two-parent household. I was incredibly loved. It was a Christian home. And we still had our problems, right? Like there was a little. Disagreement. Yeah. Mental health. My dad was agoraphobic shut-in. And so that was weird.

Dad didn't go outside. You know what I mean? When your siblings? Yeah. Okay. And so even though I had all of those things going for me, the reality is, it's like, I'm still impacted by my childhood. Yeah.

And so I parent some of the same ways that maybe my parents did, which there are a lot of great ways I was parented and they were still people. So there were some ways that I wanted to do things differently. But if you don't go do your work and counseling, it's going to be really hard. to connect with the kid that ticks you off or triggers you or makes you mad or scares you or whatever that may be. And this is for the kids. Hey, look, parents don't know it all.

No. Okay. They had you and they had no idea what to do. We all suck at it. Yeah. Well, and that's what. Because we've never been. No, no, but I'm just saying, hey, I'm saying, hey, look, you're a kid, okay,

mom and dad are not, no at all. Yeah. They are just like you. They were put in the moment and, hey, they're doing the best they can do with you. That's why it's so important to raise them biblically because you know then, they know from an early age we're all flawed. Yeah. Then, you know, everybody's flaws look a little different. Well, you look at your parents, though, and you think they don't do anything wrong.

Yeah. That's the belief you have as a child. It's your superheroes, right? Well, that's all you know. Yeah. Here's some of the most important things I saw. as a kid with my parents. My dad never walked out that door.

And every once while he had forget it, get in the car. And mom said, hey, you're forgetting something, dummy. It's that tact. He'd get out, come back, kiss her goodbye. Term of a Deerment. Yeah. Well, hey, that's important. It is.

That was important for me to know my dad and my mom loved each other more than anything else in this world, and they did it same for me. Look, y'all know the duck call room believes in a good night's rest and sleep sets the stage for the rest of your day. It's the time when your body quietly goes to work to heal your mind and body, steady your mood, and generally restore your energy so you can show up at work, home, and throughout life, rested and ready. When sleep feels like a struggle, it affects everything, your energy, your focus, your patience, your productivity. they all depend on getting high quality sleep. If you've noticed changes in your sleep patterns or experience symptoms like

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and affordable alternative to a sleep lab and can be completed in your own bed over one night. No more guessing, just clear answers and a path back to the rest you deserve. If you've been overlooking your sleep while optimizing everything else. This may be the missing piece. Visit sleepdoctor.com to stop guessing about your sleep and take the first step to waking up, rested and ready. That's sleep doctor.com. And so that's why, like, as the adult, you know, a lot of people are like these kids these days, kids these days. Kids are really a lot of times product of the environment that they're in. So like, do your work as an individual. If you're married, go to marriage counseling. You know what I mean? Like that's one of the sweetest things that you can do

for your family. So do that. But then also with your kids, I think one of the saddest things, and I fall into this a lot, too, is I'm so easily distracted. And it, you know, it's the phone, it's the media. Everything going on to job, the kids, the husband. And we're tired. Like, you know, and so intentional connection with your kids, me and my husband's goal is number one to raise followers of Christ, but also kids that know that they have a place that they always belong. And belong and it's with us. And so you may not belong anywhere else in the world, but you will always belong home with us.

But to do that, like you have to build a relationship and have connection. Oh, man. Well, that was fun. I'm glad I just brought Emily on here is to prove that I have smart friends. Oh, I, nobody would have believed it. I've thoroughly enjoyed it. I'd love to have you back anytime you want to come back. You're welcome.

You're coming back anytime. Thanks, guys. Because this is one of those things that you can't, you're not going to cover it all. Yeah. It's a new thing. She said she went to school like, yesterday or something. Something. You were talking about you went back to

some school. Oh, that's the Fawn. Yeah, the fight, flight. Yeah. Oh, that's just a training. Do you think they eventually made it start with an F's and now it's four Fs? I mean, is that kind of where they went? I don't think that was intentional. Because, I mean, if you did like fight, flight, freeze, or mimic. I mean, it just doesn't

roll off the tongue. You know, I mean, you kind of got a fortuitous. And this reminds me of, I couldn't tell you the verse, but David talking to the Lord said, how wonderfully I'm made. Do you know that one? God

put this together. Okay. And he built in it. It's part of the DNA in your body. To do what we're talking about with freeze, flight, or fight or fawn.

Martin's, it's going to be like... Well, you think about that. That's fine. That's like the Twilight lights on. All this stuff is going on and you have no idea of this going on.

And that's what Emily does. She helps people realize what's going on. That's why I said she leaves a very interesting life. And give them a healthier way to process what's going on when it's going on. I have your listeners. What's y'all's like demographic?

Who listens to y'all? You'd be surprised. Yeah. Heavy or female than you'd think. Okay. They're not all that big. Oh, wow. That was a joke.

That was a joke. That was a joke. The problem with jokes is they all have shreds of truth. We're going to let you leave. We're laughing at that. We're going to leave the audience with. No, we have families that listen, kids that listen. Yeah.

Surprising, there is a lot of old ladies that love us. Yeah. And we love you old ladies. I mean, according to when we go out in public, there's a lot of kids aged 8 to 15 that listen to us too because their parents led them because they know it's a pretty safe spot. Henry asked me this morning, will I be able to listen to this podcast? And I was like, yes, you listen to this. Yeah, we keep it safe for the children.

We got hit. It's mainly middle-aged males, by the way. Mainly middle-aged. They just don't say anything. I hope it's, the reality is like people will listen in here. Okay, Martin's been to counseling. Oh, absolutely. You know.

I've said on this that I'm so glad that we're in a time. I've said this before. I know I have. That where counseling is in. Where therapy is cool. where therapy is not like when I was growing up when you heard if somebody go to therapy that was almost shameful like why are they in therapy like what are you doing you weirdo like you know in a lot of Christian cultures it's still like not the thing yeah I've gotten a lot of flack from I help out with

fifth grade boys and they'll be like I heard therapy's bad and I'm like oh boy yeah but so that's just something I would say is like but it's it's cool again like I'm not saying it's cool but it's not there's not a stigma associated with therapy now like they're used to social stigma as much. Well, that's like the statement, a man don't cry. Yes. That's sheer stupidity in ignorance. Well, you got four of them in here that will.

Hey, if I'm hurt, I've never seen Hunter. You're in a, oh, you, did you see his socks? Hunter did wear his therapy socks today. They say anxious and sexy. This is what I would say. You don't take your car to the mechanic when it breaks down. You take your car, the mechanic. Every three months gets your oil change.

like you do normal maintenance. And I think I want people to know, like, there doesn't have to be some huge crisis. There doesn't have to be some huge problem. But counseling can be a tool that the Lord uses in your life to bring healing that you didn't even know you needed. And it can be used to draw you closer. If you're a believer, it can be used to draw you closer to the father.

And so, like, that's what I would encourage is like, if that's even something on your mind of like, should I go. John David today said, I probably should go, then go. We'll talk after this. Go. And so. Look, whenever you've tried to therapy Sam and he wouldn't let you, therapy away.

If you're ever like, this guy's an idiot. That was unintentional. You can do it on purpose. Ethically, could you work with him? No. Okay. You'd have to send him to somebody else. I would send him to someone else.

Here's what I don't think about. Hey, if your life sucks. I don't trust people. What? Say, I think that's something you could work through your trust issue. If you're a life sucks. Hold on. I was talking to me.

You know, you're not. happy with where you're at. That's not true. I'm very happy. Well, hey, go to someone and talk it out. A profession. Get help. Yeah.

Okay. Because you're miserable. You don't like what's going on. Are you just going to waddle in it and then let it finally defeat you? Yeah. Or are you going to, hey, it's okay that you need help. I would even say if your life's good, go to counseling. Like it doesn't.

Oh, absolutely. It don't have to be wrong. There ain't nothing wrong with a too, no. Find a good one. Yeah. And if you're a Christian, faith-based, too, because there's all kinds of different, there's different stuff.

The ones that, like, me and Brittany with marriage stuff, was faith-based counseling. Because there are some that aren't necessarily faith-based, but that was important to us when choosing one, that it was rooted in the word. Like, let's start there, and then we'll work on whatever.

But let's start in the word and figure out, you know, words pretty solid. It'll fix most of these, most issues that you're having can be found. The solution can be found in the Bible somewhere. And then, you know, if you've got different responses, you need to work through, that's a... Any counselor you go to should respect your beliefs. That's what I told John David coming on here today. I was like, it's my job. Whoever I sit with, like what they believe in is what I want to tend to. It's what I want to pay attention to. And so, yes, if you're a Christian, find that. If you're not a Christian, because I know you all have people

that probably aren't believers. I mean that's part of your problem. Oh. But find somebody who meets your values. No, no, I'm serious. Well, that's like you tell me. That's the presentation part again. Hey, don't be disconnected and isolated. I find community.

Community exists and find a way to join. Find a connection. Find your people. Yeah. They're out there. Okay. That way you're not isolated. That way you're not lonely.

Yep. That way your life don't suck. you know presentation get help and enjoy enjoy it life's too short to not to enjoy it man well we end with a bible verse do you have one that you love you didn't prep me for that we never do we just see how no we like to rapid fire if there's one that's like that i but i do have one on speed dial go ahead psalm 13914 i praise you because i'm fearfully and wonderfully made your works are wonderful i know that full well that's what sigh was talking about earlier. So whatever you are out there, wherever you are, God made you, knitted you together,

and you were fearfully and wonderfully made. And his works are wonderful, so you're wonderful. And if you don't think that, you might need to go find somebody like Emily who will help you get there and see what God has created because it is amazing and you're amazing. And if you keep reading, you will find out that you are loved. By Uncle Sy and... Love. Love. Emily, thanks for being here. That's an important knowledge. Yeah. Okay. Absolutely.

That way you're not isolated, that way you're not disconnected. It's an important statement when somebody tells you, like when I love it, when somebody says, hey, you mind if I say a prayer for you? I said, are you kidding? You're going to take my name and say it in front of God Almighty himself. I would love it if you would. I always say because I need the prayers and you need to practice. You need to practice.

That's what I'm talking. There you go. Hey, that's a win-win-win for me and win-win-win for you. It's a win-win, win, win, win. But Emily, thank you for coming on the duckball room. Yeah, we're done. No, we're done. Oh, okay.

Hey, we don't. We're trying to. We take a minute. We don't know how it ends. I'll think so. We went over a little bit.