Duck Call Room - Uncle Si Warned Them He Was Fixin' to Get Wet

Episode Date: April 1, 2021

Si warned the "Duck Dynasty" crew he was about to cool off in the lake, so hey, what happened next wasn't HIS fault, was it? You mess with Si, you get all due respect! Martin and Si have a bone to pick with the world's sexiest bald man. Willie drops by, Si tries out his new frog-gigging light, and the boys talk Easter plans, snakes, and why almost everything about the U.K. is baffling to Americans. John-David introduces Godwin to the confusing world of bidets. And Si is ready for Snoop Dogg, but is Snoop Dogg ready for Si? - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Anyway, we're back here in the Duck Call Room. Another Thursday episode. It's been a pretty good week. Look, if you're checking this out on YouTube, be sure you head on over to the Duck Call Room YouTube channel. That's YouTube.com slash Duck Call Room, all one word. Make sure you like and subscribe. Leave us a comment down below while you're there. And as always, leave us a cool, friendly rating on all your podcast apps.

That way your friends know where to find us. Find us. Find us. Find us. A little tongue-tied this morning. Not find us because that costs money. That's kind of like. Yeah. Knife, you don't say connife. Hey, Godwin, you know what we got in this week?

What you get in this week? Well, I already thanked Bernard, but a nice lady named Kim sent us some more jackhammers. So we're on that chatter back. Kim, thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much, Kim. I'm going to catch a big old mouth bass for you. What is it?

I'm going to say that's for Kim. It's a chatter bait called a jackhammer. It's a vibrating jig. Is it any good? Is it any good? Did you not get yours? It's the best fishing bait invention since the night crawler. Did you not get yours?

No. No, it didn't have his name on. Kim left us a nice note and said, we're tired of Uncle Si getting all the gifts. I wanted to send you and gobbling something. That is awesome right there. Mississippi and I can't think of the name of it, but it's swirling. When you drip, it's a topwater bait. Oh, that's a buzz bait?

No, it's a blopper. Wopper plopper. Yeah. That thing's bad though, boom. That's what it sounds like. God with the perfect impression. That actually is what it sounds like. Well, I just know, hey.

That's right before a big old bass. About nine and a half pound bass. In about eight, three quarters. Now, how come is it all these new bass baits that catch them are so cotton-picking expensive? What do they run? The jackhammer? Jackhammer, $18, $17.99. For one?

For uno. For one? Don't throw it in a tree. The fish and bait people got to make money, too. Unless you go to the honey hole, it's $19. I know. It's $25. Somebody got to pay John Davis salary.

Hey, is it underwater? Underwater or top water. It's subsurface, yeah. A lot of top surface. Now, a plopper. A wopper. You have one of my weights that you can slide on a line and not get loose if you, if you hang it. No, you go up here and get him.

Yeah. The problem is them toothy critters is what get him. They'll bite him and just cut him smooth off of you. The what? You know, like gar and all that kind of stuff. Tootty, toothy. Grinnell. Yeah, grinnell loves it.

I didn't catch toothy. Yeah, grinnell will not four foot of slack in a chatterbats. But them wopper ploppers ain't cheap either now. They like 18, 19 bucks. Well, see, that was the guy gave to me in Mississippi to fish with it. Yeah. But they work. Oh, they work.

They call it a nine-half-pounder and a eight-and-three-four-four-old. Fortress. On a top water? On top water? Oh, buddy. That's good. It just cool. Sound like somebody flushed a commode on top of two.

No, no. No, no. What was fun about it, it was where a fence had come in the water and it got deep enough that I could throw it back in the back and as soon as it got over that fence. Oh, boom. Oh, I'm hung. Yeah, you just hung up. You just hung up in his face.

That's it. I was hung up in a summer. I guarantee you. I didn't think he was going to cross the fence to get it. Oh, no, no. That was a chicken in the road. Oh, that's the chicken in the road. Not the fence of the fence.

I have actually caught a bunch of fish off of fences. That's funny. They don't know where them property lines are. Nope. Like you get on them rivers like Beth Rivers, got cattle pastures and they'll run that barbed wire out into the river to keep the cows from crossing. Throw it up on the side.

And even throw something up with that fence post has got one on it. Guaranteed there's one on that fence. Well, I got a question. Yeah. Is it the post or the wire that holds it? I think it's different times a year. They do different things. Like if it's a shadspawing or something, they get on the war.

And if they just kind of trying to hide out. That's how Godwin says war. War. They got it on the war. Wire for those listening. Bob wire. But if it's, you know. Not Bob White.

Bob wire. If it's later in the year, I think they get on that post and just sit there with a nose on. trying to hide, trying to be stealthy. They think they hit. On the shady side. Yeah, they think they hit. Yeah. Until you throw up there and they dope poppy.

I went fishing yesterday. How was your fishing? I saw your fishing trip via Instagram. As a man who is an heir to a tackle shop, how'd y'all do? I took a four-year-old and a six-year-old, no, seven-year-old. What kind of boat were you in? Aluminum boat. how was that power

John Boe John Boat yeah well we're not sure exactly what it was paddle Oh oh manual transmission He's cool He's sculling He's sculling

I'm sure He wasn't sculling So I was pure motor I was not Rookie rookie I didn't I cast it like twice Do you know how to skull a paddle

I don't probably I'm pretty good paddler Are you? Probably I don't Y'all got I can tell you what you're talking. You don't know how to skull.

Skull paddle. Which means what is that? Doing skull. I don't. I'm going to need to know, I might call it something different. He'll Google it. He'll Google it. Hey, Google it, find out.

I just paddle. I ain't going to tell you. Cy, you got a pretty good story about skull paddling field, don't you? Oh, yeah. I mean, this is one of my favorite ones here. Hey, look here. We skipped school. One year.

Hey, no, no, no. No, no. This was one time we skipped school on. my mother's orders. We get up and start getting dressed. She said, hey, no, don't put on my own clothes. I'm fish hungry. Y'all going fishing today.

Yes, ma'am. Okay, look, we're in there on the window seal, like this with our eyes. So as Mickey, the bus driver comes up. Mom waved her own. She goes, we jump in the falcon. We already got everything loaded. Just shiner's, fishing poles, cane poles.

Old river we head. and Gillam, Louisiana. Go up there, and this is an old river, where the river used to go, Red River, it's changed courses. Now, this is a landlocked old river, okay? Lake. It's an oxbow.

Yeah, oxbow. Look, no trees. Too old. They done died and sunk under the water, the stumps of rot and everything else. Tree gone. But we look out there, and a commercial fisherman had come in there

and stuck two wool of limbs in the shallow side. So we pull up there and throw them shunners in there and just as soon as it, the cork never stopped running. Shoo! Under it go, now this isn't in the winter time, and it's about 24 degrees.

Okay, with about a 35 mile an hour of northwest wind. Perfect duck hunting weather, but it ain't open. Yeah. So we both get one, about a pound and a half. By the time we get them all, put a shiner on, We looked back and, hey, the little pole we just called them out up there about 150, 200 yards. You know, for that wind. That wind doesn't blow it.

Well, hey. You should have power pole down. Hey, yeah, I wish so. But anyway, we piled back up there and do it again. Okay. Well, hey, we finally had hit us down on us. Hey, no, no, work. We done done this three times.

We ain't got but six fish. You know, and Phil said, hey, guess what? I said, what? he said you being the youngest you're going to have to be a three and a half horse motor and keep you right here around these poles and I said no hold oh oh oh oh he said hey ma'all says she wanted some fish

for supper you got to do the paddling son so hey we had six let's see 69 croppy later so 75 so we got 75 you know, we go home, mom's happy, you know. So the next day I got, we had to read a book, then give the written report to the teacher, and then you've got to tell them, tell the students, you know, what you read.

So I get up there and start telling me, I read, you know, Tom Sawyer, on the Mississippi with Old Jim, you know. And they said, hey, no, we don't want to hear that crap. We've all read that book, you know. You and Phil skipped school last Thursday. what did you do? I looked at Ms. Jones and I said, you know, what's the deal?

Do I get to keep on with this stupid buck report or do I tell, you know, about going to crop-y-fizzy? Allegedly. Allegedly, crappetfish. Yeah, and she said, just know this. And I said, what? She said, you are being crazy on this. I said, fine, no problem.

All right, here we go. And I go through the whole store where at the winter seal with her eyeballs, just rub it. Mickey can pop-pomp. Mom weighs her on. You know, so she, we get in the Falcon and we go to the old river. Now, this is wintertime. 24 degrees, 35 mile an hour northwest wind.

So I tell them the old story, and I said, hey, 75 croppy at the end of this little deal. And she said, well, you know, Ms. John said, that's worth the C-mile. I jumped off off that stool and said, woman, have you lost your flipping mind? 75 croppy in a northwest 35 mile an hour wind and I'm the motor for crying out loud that's a triple A if I've ever heard it she said all right I'll make a deal with and I said what's that it better be you better up to Annie here she said I'll give you a B minus I said deal she'd have given you an A if you'd have brought her some of them crocky yeah yeah see that's before we learned about that yeah them teach you working trades now yeah feel I've learned that

in college So your older brother made the baby paddle. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Hey, it's the stair step deal, okay? That didn't work. Youngest, youngest, he gets, you know, he gets the short end of the stick, so to speak. Well, you got the long end of the paddle, it sounds like that.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and, hey, that was a chore. Okay. And you just had to sit there and skull in one spot. Yeah, like I was washing clothes in a big old iron skillet outside. And he didn't even. You let you catch one more.

No. You caught you three and that's it. I caught three and that was it. That's your limit, son. Hey, now you've got to let me catch the rest of them. That's the way that goes, boys, when you're the youngest. God, let you go. You get to, hey, it's like Jerry, uh, I can't think his name.

But anyway, he was a truck driver on Bandit. Like he used to say, hey, you know. Smokey in the Bandish. Yeah, smoking in the Bandit. Yeah, smoking in the Band. You got the gold mine and I got the shelf. That's the bottom line on that. little trip boys on the crappy trip

you did get to eat on me well I did do that yeah but Phil got the gold mine I got to shout and you made Mama happy and hey Ma was happy look as long as Ma was happy you gotta keep Ma'all happy because if Ma' ain't happy ain't nobody gonna be happy Jack I can agree with that look let's take our first

break we'll be right back hey don't go away we're coming right back guarantee that's right guarantee all right look springtime is here it's warming up you know what that means that means more outside cook and and y'all know we love to eat beef around here and that's what because of our friends over at tritels beef makes such a good product baby ain't it good it's so good it's our friend sall robertson would say buy on the grill look before we got tritels getting ready for a cookout man

somebody had to run the grocery store do all the things grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day and you never really know where that beef come to them but with tritels beef we skip the grocery store and do it a different way. Triedales comes from a family ranch out in Texas. They're a fifth generation American ranch, so they've been at it for a while. Now, look, the beef comes straight from their ranch and other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way. Their stakes are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door. We threw a couple of ribbys on the grill. Look, salt, pepper, garlic, hot fire, that's all you need. Look, because I'll tell you what, when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living, you can taste the difference. The

tenderness and the flavor are fantastic. So if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season, go check out Tritails Beef. I know in size case Christine loves it, which is just a, she doesn't eat meat. She ain't a big meat easier, folks. Yeah. Just go to trybeef.com slash.

That's trybeef.com slash. Support ranch families and eat some dang good steak. Well, we didn't catch nothing. Oh, man. Doodley squat. All right. Doodley squat. Not great.

Not great. Let's go look at the ducks. That's what he's. I looked at him and said, are you having fun? He goes, um, not great. Who's that? My son. We literally, I paddled.

Okay. And they were fishing. We had a cart, like Lightning McQueen. We're trying to catch stuff. It was, I was just trying to be a good thing. You should, should, should ask him, are you bored? And if he said, yes, time of all right, hey, just bend over that seat and I'll get that bored of you. He wasn't bored.

He wasn't bored. Hey, I just paddle on your behind. you'll get through that bower real thing. He was just upset. We couldn't catch fish. So then I said, well, you want to do it again next weekend? He goes, maybe I'll go to Papa's house. My dad, he was like.

Yeah, go down to the pond. Well, that's what we were on my, I think he figured out, like, his uncle. Poppah's is a fire hole. His Papa, his friend Willie, all got better ponds. Better ponds than dad goes to. Oh, yeah, big Dave got that hole. He gets home and he don't feel like clean them. He just throw them in that pond.

Hey, whoa, whoa, don't worry about that. That's a good thing, though. Oh, it is. They're dumb as a box of rocks. Oh, yeah, no, no. Hey, we filmed an episode on that. Yeah. Yeah, we called it.

And called a lot of fish, too. Everybody. And I thought you were going to throw Jessica in the lake. Oh, we should have just tossed her. I'm serious, he should have tossed her because, hey, that would have never stopped. Look, I'll tell you this. You talk about tossing Jessica. Look, you married to a mean redhead?

If I'd have tossed that blonde-headed woman in that thing. Oh, no, no, that's why I was hoping. I was like this, police door in the flea door there. I'd have got my tail tore up, son. I had my prayer hands on a police store in that, Mark. You just want to see me and get woke. Well, no, hey, I just want to, you know, start something. Well, that, it would have went on for years.

I remember where he was over there filming in that pond, you jumped in the, you jumped in. And that guy, the Mike guy was going, oh, no, no, no. Hey, I told them. I told them this was in July for crying out of light 100 degrees. We out there filming in waiters no less. And I said, hey, fellas, and they said, what? I said, we took like a minute break, you know,

for them to re-load camera equipment. And I said, I'm going to get wet. And they said, no, you can't do it. I said, you're not listening. You don't understand. I'm fixed to get wet. Well, hey, they left the mic in there. Hey, the next thing.

off the pier. He did, too. He said he just jumped in the lake. No, no, that's about $2,500 mic quippet. Okay. It's gone. And they said, I said, uh-uh,

I tell y'all. Got to teach him a lesson at some point. You warned them. I mean, what else do you do? That's all I can do. That's like, you know, saying with all due respect before you say something mean to somebody.

It clears you, you know? I don't think that clears you. Do what? Oh, yeah, it does. Yeah, it clears. Yeah. Yeah, it clears. No, no, because, hey, y'all just reminded me

in my whole military career. With all due respect, sir. With all due respect, sir, you don't want to ask me that question because I guarantee you, I know you're not going to like the answer. Okay. He ain't going to like the answer. No, it clears you for anything.

If you start your answer with that. It doesn't clear you for nothing. Yes, it does. It just means you know you've been caught or you know that you're about to do something. No one's going to be I caught. It's pretty. Hey, I've warned you

beforehand. You don't want to do this. Yeah. If they don't want to hear it, it's up to them to stop it right. Yeah. With all due respect, you need to watch Madlock.

A good lawyer never asked the person to understand the question unless he already knows the answer. Because he may surprise you with something that you were not prepared for. And the judge says, guilty. Do you watch a lot of Maddo?

Oh, I watch a lot of that. That and Matt Dillon. That's why I want to slap you upside the head with a pistol. I'm just waiting for the day that you do it. That's it. I'm ready for it. It's probably just be the size of a goose egg. That's fine.

And it'll go down unless they hit you hard, and then you're going to be gone. Yeah, he'll go down. He'll go down. You'll be standing to Perley Gates and asking St. Peter, what happened? The last thing I remember we were doing the podcast. he said was that idiot sitting beside you at 45 he laid it upside your head and he done it a little too hard speaking of that clown sitting beside you have you taken time to look at his shirt oh j d there's a lot going on beside me you need to read yeah yeah jd read it read it for everybody that may not be

able to now i lay me down to sleep beside my bed i'm gonna a gun i keep If I awake and you're inside the corner's van, it will be your last ride. Sir Robertson. Let this be a warning. You don't want to mess with this old idiot. With all due respect, you do not want to mess. There you go. See?

You're figuring it out. You actually got the message. Thank you. Now, see, look, here's what I'm going to give you another one. With all due respect, which truck stop did you get? that shirt from. I wish I had one of them big wallets about that long with a chain you could use for a tow truck. I'm surprised that wasn't a prerequisite to purchase that shirt.

I didn't get this out of a truck stop. Where did you get it? I done an event in Gilmer, Texas, for the first responders. And I got this out of the Arcta Tech gun store. Okay. Because they had it on the wall, and it was a small. And I said, that ain't going to work. That won't work.

I said, I needed him a large. Go get me one. So before I left, I got it. Gilmer, Texas. You bought it at the gun store? At Arkletex. Gunn store. In Gilmore, Texas.

Gilmer Texas. And the man that owns it is called Les. And I can't remember his life. We call him evil. Oh, God. Hey, shout out though, E. No, no. Phil gave him that nickname.

Okay. And whatever Phil nicknamed somebody, as far as he's concerned, he'll die with that. name. I guarantee. That's a Robertson trait. Because we had a cameraman and Phil named him after, I got to tell him. We go duck hunt.

Hold on. Is this PG? No, no. It's clean. It's family. We go duck hunting. This is on no legs. Okay.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Look, Phil's got on his hip boots. Okay. The next day, this fellow, I don't remember what his name is now, but anyway, he showed up and said, oh, I forgot my hip boots. And Phil said, well, you can wear mine, you know. So look, we're walking in a line going to where we're going to hunt in the timber,

flooded timber. We're going to stand and shoot wood ducks. And, you know, he says, oh, gosh, I went underwater. And these boots. He said, no, these boots leak. And Phil said, they don't leak. I wore them yesterday. And we turned around.

He had him pulled up and Phil damned him from that day on. He said, oh, I see your problem. He said, you ain't got no legs. And hey, he's no legs. From then on, every time you're telling me, it was no leg. Oh, no legs coming today? Was he short? He was short.

He just had a really long torso. Really long. All his height was from like his belly up. Hey, his legs were just about that long. Oh, no leg. I can remember that. I can confirm the Arkletex gun store, though, because Sigh is their profile picture. on my face.

Hey, Hey, that's what I'm talking about. Hey, my cup's even on there. Oh, Lord, have mercy.

Did you go to an event there recently? Yeah, he was there this weekend. Oh, that was this weekend. Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Oh, that's what you're talking about.

And I actually went pet pig hunting. I didn't kill but one thing. What did you kill? We was driving in a dark blackout drive. Okay, we're going over a levee on a pond. Well, they looked, saying something rippling, so we stopped.

You know, and it was probably a beaver. It was either beavers or neuterat. You know, and they said, come around and they used this, y'all. So at first, soon as I got around there, he went under. You know, and I said, okay, he said, did you sit there? He'll come back up. They was telling him it was pigs. You know, I'm looking for a stupid pig.

No, it wasn't a pig. It wasn't a pig. I'm looking, and they said, oh, you just come up over on the right, you know. What was it? Yeah. It was a nutter rat or a beaver. Well, hey, I just seen the ripple, you know. So I've got this night vision scope on this gun, so I, whop!

Got him. Got him. Then he started moving a bit, and I just, pow, whop. Then that time it was, and he went to the bottom. All the way to the bottom. He probably be floating by the day. Oh, no, he'll be bloated by the day. Yeah, he smelled good.

Stone killed three, what? Philip MacMellon killed one. Stone killed one of them out there, about 250 hondo. 250 Honda. Yeah. Oh, no, and it was one of his way this one. It was $25,000. I don't know what number 250 Honda is.

I'm serious. It was about that long. Oh, no. Oh, hey. Uh-oh, careful. Oh, careful. Whatever you're saying right now. It's 95s of fit, true, boy.

There's a bunch of crap. That would be fat boy willies come in. and he's a boy. See you boss. He texted me a minute ago and said, come in here. I need to talk to you and I was like, I'm doing something with this.

I don't know how to have it. We don't know how to break it up, boys. I'm not here. Oh, Lord, have mercy. Well, you know, a willie breaks is a good reason that's to take any other break. Well, we didn't kill six pigs. Six pigs.

Six pigs. Six pigs in that plus five nutr rats or beavers. Five. So I love them. That's a loving. Neutur rats. on the guns. Unidentified water rodents.

That's right. That all needed killing. Oh, yeah. They're going to cut the levees. They're going to do something. They're going to dig holes. They're going to be a little build downs and they're going to stop the water up. Yeah.

We don't need that. And we don't need that. And we don't need that. I got a beaver probably too. Do you? Yeah. Out of my 60 acres. Oh, only 60 acres.

There's your man right beside. You better get them things out of there. You won't cut out of you. You need to go to the orchard. they'll fix you up with thermo vision, rifle, all of it, ammo. And if you buy all that, you get that shirt for free.

There you go. Now, hey, I ain't going to make that deal on the podcast. They're making money charging this, okay? They may give you a discount, you know, JD, if you told them I sent you. A small one. A small one. I've been trying to get you and Willie's crumbs for years,

so I appreciate that. Right. Well, look, with all due respect, Let's take a break. All right, boy, we're taking a break. Hey, reach over and slap him. Who? Him, he's making all that racket.

Would you put... Hey, I didn't... Hey, you're talking about a light. That thing's like a gun, son. Watch where you point. No, no, this is... Hey, Jason's going to end up with this. This is a frog-gicking light.

I mean, heavenly... Well, a young fellow... Is it off? No, it's not off. Is it off? No. Is it off? Yeah.

Yes. Okay. It's off. It's got a flashlight on his head, everybody. Whoever left this here from me? Appreciate. Jason's going to end up with because hey,

it's perfect froggy. That was a young fellow from just outside of Knoxville, about an hour. By the hour. I knew that. By the hour from Knoxville. It's a hat with a flashlight.

There's some good people in Tennessee. Knoxville, like that place on a old brother where Artel. It's a geographical oddity. It's an hour from everywhere. Do not seek your treasure here. Yeah. That's probably for Coon.

They probably used it for coon hunting them. Yeah, that's what they were. They're coon hunter. Goon hunter. No, no, Cah. Jace didn't use for frog.

And we got an old smoky coon hand up in here now. Oh, man. He's running them, boys. He's on the trail. I told Jim. He'll be there first, I promise. You forget how good God would it is the sound of it. He is a sound board.

We don't even need a computer or anything. Because when we first did it, I was like, we need, like, buttons to press to make funny noises. And I just totally sold Godwin short on. Yeah. Have him hooked to electricity. That way when you press the button, he got to do something. Firement.

It's time. No, no. That would be actually good because you would never know what we're going to be coming out of it when you press that button. That's right. You'll never know what you'll get.

That's right. You don't know what you'll get, boys. Just like Christmas morning. You don't know what you're going to get. Hey, you've got to open this package up, baby, before you know what's in it. I know some people open up our package for Christmas. Shame on them.

I'm just going to let you two go. Shame on them. Did y'all open it before Christmas? I'd look. I pique. No. You don't peek? You're a liar.

No, I'm not. We didn't peek, okay? This is the Christmas gift. We would go. Yep. He's shaking. Shake it. Shake it.

See why Mama was smarter enough, hey. She had always pet it where he wouldn't make a sound. Yeah, there you go. I have no idea. If you're wondering why Duck Dynasty was successful, that was a quick little snippet. Sorry. Godwin said some people peek their Christmas gifts before the Christmas. That's terrible.

Do you look at your Christmas gifts for Christmas? You pick a look? I bet you do. Pick a look? I'm sure I did when I was a kid. I didn't. I tried to when I was a kid, but now. But my mom had that weird roller like, you can open one now if you want to, but I'm going to take it back.

So, like, well, hey, that's the move. Here's the move. You go under the Christmas tree and you say, I'm going to look and see how many presents I got. If you pick it up on the corner, that wrapping paper is fishing a rip. Oh, I didn't mean to do that. Oh, thank you, baby. Not for my mom.

My mom uses that premium wrapping paper. You borderline can't tear that stuff. You got to paint it when you pick it up. Yeah, if Ma ever heard that, here come. the paddle. Yeah. Okay. With holes drilling in it.

Where the whistles coming toward you? Guy one been pinching corners on his Christmas presents just because you can't wait. Well, then what are you going to do about this Sunday in the Easter basket? Oh, uh-oh. That's got a laugh out of him. I don't know. I get them. I can't do nothing with that because it's always happens at night.

That Easter bunny, he's slick. No, that's what I was just to tell you, y'all. stayed up trying to catch Santa Claus. And every time I saw somebody, it looked a lot like Daddy. Really? Yeah. I think they wrote a country song about that. Really?

Yeah. Well, I got no clue. You don't know that song? I don't know that Santa look a lot like Daddy or Daddy looked a lot like you. Like Santa Claus, that's it. Yeah, I've heard it before. That's why I got that. I know you did.

I made that junk up. I knew it was from the song. He's a pros, pro people. That's why it comes behind my mind just so quick. I told you. That's how his life works. He tells next he'll be telling the plot to Goodwill hunting about this time he was in school. You know what I mean?

That's the way he operates. Whatever you say, it always goes to the story. Every story is transferable to size. How did we get to fall already? I don't know. Hey, you don't know. No, let me tell you all. Tell me.

We left Friday morning around what, 9 o'clock. No, 940. This better be a critical. detail. Meanwhile, no, no, no. Spring has sprung, okay? Oh, I guarantee. Not at 9.40.

Yeah. No, no, we left and we're at Texas. Watched it. Okay, and when we started back from over there at 9 o'clock again, okay, this time 9, not 940. Yeah, we started, okay, and when we was going over, the limbs were there. They had just started to butt out. when we came back, three days now. All fully leaveed.

That's why, hey. And for you both that don't know what you have just witnessed is resurrection power. I just had to throw that in there. Three days. Three days. Oh, hey, that's biblical. I ain't.

Hey, that's even biblical. That's biblical, boys. Yeah. I kept waiting for the time. I kept waiting for the time. Well, hey, I was like, that's pastor's side right here. It's there, like, it's on a tee for you.

That's right. Hey, but. Knock it down the faraway. But that is. That is what we get to celebrate this weekend. And that's, uh, we, you know, we always, you get caught up and everything. And what, what we're really celebrating is the fact that that tomb is, in fact, empty.

That's what we're celebrating. There are no bones in that tomb, boys. Guaranteed. And, uh, man, that's pretty awesome. Easter is always a, it's always a fun. holiday because there's unlike a lot of like Christmas Christmas and all that's fun but sometimes the weather can be like pretty crappy you know like I mean it can be cold miserable or you catch one of 80 degree days in December you're like golly it's hot and miserable and it's always

Easter is always like pretty level-headed I mean and you know like once you go eat you dinner we can go fishing we can go there's a hundred different things you can do and the time's changed so as Daylight till like 8 o'clock at night. So, you know, gives you time to find Easter eggs. You still hunt Easter eggs, don't you gobbled? Well, he don't hunt them. Yeah, no. He don't hunt them.

But he does eat them. No, I do eat them. He does eat them. Just like a deer. I know that. He's like that blind hog. He's going to find that Easter egg. Oh, okay.

There's still nieces and nephews around. That is. Hey. Oh, we hit Easter eggs this past weekend with my nieces. We're still a short one, so I'm sure I'll find that with the lawnmower at something. We put out 20, we got 19. That's cool when they hit that. Hey, that ain't bad.

It wasn't the good one, is it? No, it was just regulation plastic. The one eggs got something good at it. Yeah, it got like a 20 in it. Yeah, that's the one that's not the one that's missing, isn't? I hope that ain't the one that's missing, boy. I was about to head to Mark. No, because I put out the one with the 20 and I found it.

Oh, come on, man. That ain't no fun. No, I know. I made them. split it though if one of them did it they I just I gave them both 10 instead of one of them finding 20 I didn't want to deal with a fight oh yeah you start a family few yeah no I didn't want to I didn't want to deal with that yeah good work I didn't watch the fight and then gave them 10 a just me I said you can't put a price on a good scrap between siblings

good hair pulling oh oh Lord what are you do you have Easter plans Uh-huh. Do you have Easter plans? Yeah, I'm going to go to church. Okay. Hey, how cool? How weird is that? Last Easter we didn't go to church.

That's true. We were stuck watching online and all that. I think everybody's fired up to go to church. But like, are you family cooking out? No. We're doing it. No, hey, look, I've done got to the point. If I'm going to go to cookout, it's going to be at someone else's house.

And that person is Mr. Jay Stone. because everything he cooks is, as the French would say. Okay, it is wonderful. So Stone's not cooking on Easter? Well, he may be, but he ain't invited to you. Well, he knows not to invite you to the day before. If you see this podcast, Jay, and you're cooking Easter?

Yeah. Guess what? I'm going to. Guess what? Well, just tell him you're coming over. Tell him you want to have an Easter domino match. He'll have to cook. Well, no, we do that quite frequently.

Yeah, guarantee. No, that is. Easter's always, are you going to be wearing your Easter best? Like Searsucker's suit? No, no, look. Or are you going to wear that shirt? No. I'm just curious.

Oh, yeah. I'm going to wear this and display this proud of it. And like I said before, this is a warning to those that come by my house and even have the thought of, he may have some money in there. I've got something else better for you. I'm fixing to send you on your way. Where are they headed? Where?

If you've been bad, you're going down. Okay, if you've been good, you wouldn't be in my house. Hey, you're not going to get the coroner's ride. Yeah. No, when y'all was telling me, on Christmas, I had to, my sister was a nurse, okay? She would come in, you know, every once while to take a break from college. On Christmas? whatever okay and look her brothers you know mainly Tommy Thomas Sidney Robertson

would catch like a grass snake now she's a nurse so anytime she come home we'd run to her with something that we needed hey check and see if you can do something about just cut or whatever you know she was you know cleaning it with a peroxide and then put a bandad on and whatever you so Tommy called him a big old grass snake one time and he he wrapped it in between his fingers. And when you squeezed it perfectly for a couple of minutes, it would turn purple, yellow, green,

just, it looked horrible. His hand or the snakes? No, no, the snakes, okay, but he had it, it looked like his knuckles. And we're climbing around, you know, we come in front of him, we're clown around, punching, you know. With the snake?

Yeah, and look, Tommy swung it, Phil and felt, and he acted, and he acted like he hit the, ball and he's get off I take a move from my hand. So here

comes Judy. Y'all ain't right. No. Yeah, I know what's about to come. Yeah, but anyway, she grabbed his hand like this about that time he opened his fingers and that snake's head come up.

Yeah. You know, she fainted. She fell. Yeah. So would you? If I did that to you right now. Oh, no. Oh, I'll kill you.

That's more. It wouldn't be no fine. I would send you to heaven. Okay. At least I'd be good. I would go to the pen, but you would go immediately to heaven, buddy. Tell me, what did you do? Look, it was justified, Judge.

He'd come at me with a snake. So I shot the snake, and unfortunately, he had it right in front of his heart, and the bullet was to him. He was trying to block it. Sy's over here telling a story about something funny that would give him a massive heart attack. Oh, no. Hey, look, if one ever bit me down at one on the field property, especially a cotton mouth,

the poison wouldn't have time to kill me. Okay, because, hey, I'm gone with a heart attack. It's gone. It's gone. No. Tell me what killed him, Doc, heart attack. Yeah. Tell me he died.

Okay, you remember. I've known this. He died because of fright. Yeah. No. When he's seen him hit his leg, that was it. Well, we've been from Easter to Christmas, back to Easter, back to Christmas. Christmas. Back to snakes, Ben. Back to snake, boy. For now, we're going to go to break town.

Let's take one more break, boys. Oh, you would die if somebody did that to you. It was funny at the time, but hey, look, we all got a butt whipping home. Hey, look, I got a good one for you. Hey, Mama was equal opportunity. Okay. She didn't care who did it. Get in line. Okay, get in line because, hey, I know I'm going to get the right one because none of us were squealers. We wouldn't squirle on each other. Nobody dimmed each other. Nobody dimmed each other out. Yeah, how stupid is that? I don't know why I took a beating.

I should have just one-ed-square. He didn't. That's because most time it was you. Yeah. No. And then all of you'd get it anyway. Now, hey, me and Tommy got a many-up whipping when Mama would give us worm wheels. Warm wheels.

Are we back? Worm wheels? Worm pills? Worm pills. Fills. Fills. Fills would throw his behind the oven, okay? And me and Tommy would take out of mama whoop us and then dewormers again.

so we had to take that awful tasting thing twice. Y'all's on that Ivermectin back in. Oh, no, that stuff. God. And it didn't make any difference how fast you swallowed it. Nah, it left the taste it in your mouth. I'm glad I don't have to be a war. Was it a jail capsule?

It was big as a horse, you know. It was a horse pill. Yeah. I was a horse pill. Yeah. Hold on. Ivory Mac. Oh, Lord.

Wow. God. Mm-mm-mm. Johnny D. You said you had something interesting, current event we needed to discuss. There's a current event. Well,

where are we at? A few weeks ago, I think Philip McMillan was in here. We talked about bald people because the world found out that Martin is in fact bald. Going bald. So was Gobbin.

And Goblin's ball. And we, well, Gobin wasn't here and we started discussing, you know, bald people are cool. Well, are they cool? Are they cool? Are they cool?

Well, of course they are. Yeah. That was my vote. There are cool people. Me and I both agree. But apparently we went through a list of cool bald people, and Ronnie from Perry, Georgia, was very upset that we didn't bring up Godwin. But Godwin's got such a good-looking goatee.

You don't think of him as Bob. That's my bad, a little buddy. I thought we talked about you. I don't know. Ronnie says we didn't. I'm sorry, a little buddy. Hey, I'm probably. Hey, look, he looked like he's put some wax on there and had a guy that buff his shoes.

a juke buffer. It does have a little... Pop that head. Yeah. I got to go ahead. Well, I need to just go ahead and shave it. That's it. That way, that way.

That's not shaved? No. There's more there? Yeah. The reason I know it's not shaved. Three quarters of it's shiny, and then the other part around the edges, it's not shiny. There's hair. It looks good.

I guarantee you. We didn't name Jason Alexander. Paul loves it. I believe I did. Jason Alexander. George from Seinfeld. Yeah. George Castan.

George? Yeah. He's bald. Yeah, of course he is. Well, no, he's not bald. Well, he's got the, I don't even know. You know, he looked like a baseball. Well, yeah.

That the, uh, strings have turned black. Yeah. Well, I'm just chatting. That's where he looks. The threads of turn black, you know. Well, he's like me. Kind of got that toilet seat head going. Looks like a toilet seat around top of you here?

That's it. Hang up. Hey. There you. Well. Anyway, go. You got a bird nest out. There's something that's bothering me.

Mainly in defense of you two. Because Google did a study and named the world's sexiest bald man. Stone cold. That's the claim. It's neither of you. That's offensive. But I'm going to go ahead and say this. Y'all are better looking than the human being that was named the world's sexiest bald man.

Who is? Telly Savalus. No. Prince William. Prince William? Oh, that's... He isn't. He ain't sexy.

He ain't ball-headed. Man, he ain't sexy. He's just got the name Prince. Hello, Prince. Hello, Governor. And he's got like a little tuft of hair going on. But that's in the news this week. Hey, hey, hey, hey, don't hate on tough, sir.

I got him. I'm just saying. He just got a big forehead. And what? He got a five head. Well, just think if we let our hair go, it'd just be a mullet. Yeah, that's pretty much what's a natural mullet. I like that.

That's good. I told you. I call you. Cool people are cool, boys. All the other people are cool. A lot of the internet is upset that Prince William was named better looking than the rock and other people. I agree. I'm upset for you to because.

Oh, Tennis am I should have won. Me too. But it's all because his name is Prince. And what does that even mean? Yeah. It means it parties like it's 19. That's a cooler prince. The music prince is the one you're talking about, boys.

But I just don't, we have some listeners from the UK. Yeah, look, our listeners from the UK, can y'all explain to us what the royal family is and or does? Y'all got a president, y'all got a queen, y'all got a prince. There's one prince, he's like 100 years old, and then all of a sudden they're on our TV, and I'm supposed to know what's happening, and I don't know what's happening. Do you know what's happening? No. And they got prime ministers, and.

parliaments and how many countries are in that country how many countries are in that country that's exactly right it's like dallas there's 200 cities in that's right there's a lot Dallas Dallas and fort worth the fw but there's but and then they're like hey we're england for soccer but we're the united kingdom for swimming and then for golf though they're like northern ireland and scottish and there's and they got everything i just if someone from there and we've got a few emails from there could Just condensions. Give us the easy, simple version of what y'all got going on on that island. Y'all need to watch BBC.

How many countries are in that country? I need that question answered. Every time I watch BBC before, it's always something about America. Thank you. I don't. Well, that ain't bad. No, but I mean, I'm like, why are you BBC? Hey, they do have good, what's that time, midsummer murders?

No, no, I watched that. That's a good series. And then Father Brown? No, no, the other one's Father Brown. He's a priest, and he always solves the murders. Well, they got Dr. Who. I know that. I don't know that.

That ain't who the band is. No. My daughter, I was just a joke. Yeah. Then they run Planet Earth all the time. Planet Earth. They did Planet Earth first. Yeah, and that's awesome.

And I actually like the British narrator more than the American narrator. I really prefer Snoop Dog. Does Snoop Dogg? Oh, you even talk to me? No, no. I'm with him on that. Snoop dog has got it down pat, boys. Hey, I'm serious.

Snoop, if you're listening, that's right. Get in this chair. Let's talk to Uncle Sy. This could be fun. Oh, no, that would be a trip. To have Snoop dog.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, that would be fun. I will sit out 400 episodes in a row in order to get Snoop. That's right here in this chair. Right here besides. And I just want to sit on the floor. Yeah.

Oh, that would be good. That would be good. But anyway. So a prince is the world's sexiest ball man, because he's a prince. But it's like his grandpa's a prince too. So is he a prince? What's he in charge of?

Who's the queen in charge of? Why is the wedding such a big deal? The queen's in charge of the family, trying to keep him under control. What family? The royal family. But who's in charge of everything else? So if you got a queen? No one.

That's what I'm saying. I don't know what's happening. Hey, we don't know what's happening. Well, how come that they're called? I need a fourth grade civics lesson in England. And why does your soccer team name? different than your swimming team. You just had to take kick our tails in soccer

every year. Yeah, but we beat them in swimming and they get like seven other countries to join up with them. I got a question. I don't care. You might have to Google it. Why do they drive on the wrong side of the road? Why do? Yeah. They probably asked us the same question. And what's up with that

metric system? Okay, hold on. I'm going to say something about the metric system and I'm going to get in trouble here. And later we're going to talk about bidets again. you stay in trouble. We're going to bring bidets back up because I'm with them on that too. The metric system is not a bad system.

No, the metric system actually makes math a hundred times. Well, it's confusing. No, it's not. Yeah, it is when you've got metric tools and you got the United States tool. Well, it is. And if everybody would just go metric, that would be a lot easier on all of us. But I'm just saying. Well, maybe I don't want to go metric.

America, son. I don't want to go heavy metal. I want a half inch, not a 13 millimeter, dead gummit. Hey, give me it a half inch. It's easier. Why does they say it's easier? They drive on the left to keep their sword hand free? What?

It started way back when they had swords. They're carrying swords. So if a stranger passed on the right of you, so you're, like in a knight's tail. But what if you're left-handed? You have to. Then you don't need to be on the road anyway. Then you have to go reverse. You have to protect your lady.

Hey, no, I got news for y'all. We don't carry swords anymore. So get on the right side. Get on the right side of the road. But I guess if you're in a shootout, it would actually be easier if you're driving on the left side of the row. I just don't understand why they get in on that side of the vehicle. It's like everybody's got a mail truck. That's where the door is.

That's all a bunch of mail delivery. They're over here. And he's going to pass in the seat. They ride inside saddle, boy. That's it. Guarantee. With their sword hanging out the window. This is just one of life, little...

Well, it's one of the United Kingdom, England, Britain, whatever you want to call it, because nobody knows, except for the people over there, please email us. I've got some of that. Enlightenus. And for the life of me, I don't know. Prince William, name. Having been there, I have no idea how Hagas called on.

Higgis. They ain't had no Buda, and that's why I ain't called on. Yeah, that's tough what you do. I haven't been to England. I've been to Ireland. Blood pudding, terrible. Uh-oh. Ireland's cool.

Ireland's all right. You get maters and eggs with breakfast. Beans, baked beans. They ain't that baked bean bag? It's like everything I ate there. It was just like roast gravy and potatoes. I was down with that. Uh-oh.

This just goes to show you, you really never know where we're going to end up on this show. I've been bugged by the royal family. Hey, we've been discussing England's political situation here. We said we wouldn't do politics. Parliament, King, Queens, Prime Ministers. Hand me one of them mop wigs, and I'll be judged for the day. All right, I'm out. I got to take a break, because I can't break.

He said, hey, me one of them mop wits. They're going to love this, England is. We're going to get hammered, boys. No, they're going to love it. They're going to get hummers. Which way do we go? Which way do we go? Which way do we go?

We're going towards the finish line now. Here we go. Here we go. Johnny Dee. What is in our hello at duck commander. Oh, hello at duck call room.com email inbox for this one. Rewind and do that again. I did.

All the way through. Hello. He just rewound himself. That's fantastic. We need that a lot in here. So Godwin. Yes, sir. You weren't here.

I'm not here. You weren't here when we had this. discussion we had a lot of heated debate in the comments and in the emails are you pro-biday or against bidet's oh i'll go for days i don't know what that means do you know what a bad day is are you pro-baday or anti-me negative it's the you know the water spout in your toilet that cleans you after that makes you jump up i ain't got one have you ever used one yeah All right, well, we talked about it. I'm 100% for them, sigh, very much against them.

You got one? Oh, yeah. In your house? Well, it's like an install on the toilet. It's not like a separate thing. You want to go have a sleepover, don't you? What's that day? It cleans you.

Think of it as like a car wash. That seems like laziness. Lazyness. In other words, they're too lazy to wipe their rear in. That's what I'm doing. Oh, okay, see, so that's what we got to get into, because a lot of the emails, they don't know how a bidet works. So you don't just blast yourself with water and then pull your pants out.

How do you know when you clean? It is not a lack of toilet. There is still toilet paper involved just not as much. Then why do that? Because it's cleaner. And it's water, cold or hot? It depends on how much money you got. My water's cold.

It depends on what time. Oh, he didn't put the heater in the water. I didn't put the heater in it. But I did just look up. It sounds like an extra step to me. Well, here's what I got to. My question is, how long are you got to sit there to dry off? Okay, see, that's, there's a misconception here.

Oh, no, you got a fan. You still grab toilet paper and, you know, dry yourself off. So in other words, you double dipping. No, you're double dipping. Oh, no, you're double dipping. You're a waste. It's a waste. Do you dry your hands after you wash them?

Well, of course that's all right on. But look, here's a little. I can also wipe my hands on my britches. That's right. Yeah. I can't wipe there on my bridges. I don't want, I don't want a garden hose sticking in my commode that blows water up.

Who invented a bidet? Okay. I think. Some French guy had to read. Somebody, wasn't American. He got it. Why didn't name it benight? All right, well, I wasn't going to use any names. You got to wait for day-dite? But Randy in the email, he said it can be

your best friend if you had spicy food the night before. Thank you, Randy, for emailing in. There was a lot of emails about Badez, and I'm for them. And you'd be surprised how many people are this is just one of them things that we're going to have to agree to disagree. And speaking of disagreement, we'll move on from Bidays, but

thank you for all the emails. Hold on. So you spent extra money to do that. It's not extra. It's like a lift on your truck. Like, it's just a ad on. No, I'm just saying that's what he did. His is just an add on. It's like lifting your truck. Hey, it's his bunny.

Let him waste it if he wants to. You're still going to use toilet paper. But not near as much. Especially in the hard times. Now, look, last spring, he was coming out like a bandit because, you know, everybody took out of toilet paper. Well, he's like, I only need half as much.

Oh, not even half, not even a quarter as much. We had a day. I would never feel secure. Am I clean? you check with toilet paper to see if you're clear all right people we I don't even know all right so Easter's coming up so I got you like nine or ten whole verses early on the first day of the week while it was still dark Mary Maglin went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance so she came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple and the one Jesus loved and said they have

taken the Lord out of the tomb and we don't know where they have put them so Peter and the other disciples started for the tomb and they were running but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first. He bent over and looked in at the strips of linen lying there but did not go in. Then Simon Peter came along behind him and went straight into the tomb. He saw the strips of linen lying there as well as the cloth that had been wrapped around Jesus' head. The cloth was still lying in its place separate from the linen. Finally, the other disciple who had reached the tomb first also went inside.

He saw and believed. That is John 21 through 8. The tomb is empty. And he folded up his clothes on the way out, and that power is all within us to raise one day too. Amen. There you go. You know who the disciple was that Jesus loved?

John. John. Thank you. That's a thank you very much. Johnny Godwin, baby. Johnny Gide. That's the perfect ending.