Duck Call Room - Uncle Si Was a Master at Breaking ‘Duck Dynasty’ Equipment

Episode Date: March 7, 2023

Si can't believe it when John-David updates him about the Daylight Savings Time rumors. The boys get into a debate about what you can and can't do inside of pools: Does everyone pee in swimming pools? Or is that just rednecks? Martin confesses he hates lazy rivers. Si remembers jumping into Willie's pond while filming "Duck Dynasty" — microphone & all! — and how he retrieved his glasses that went flying into the water. Godwin tells everyone about his battle against pizza and how he substitutes it. Si shares with the room that he has a mystery stew, but he can't remember the type of pasta he uses. John-David shares a picture with Si of a kid riding a giraffe, fans send in their own pedicure stories, and finally the guys find a distributor for their favorite snack!  -- Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Look, I got my ducks in a row. You got his ducked in a row, boys. And we're rolling and we're back on the show. No, you don't. There's a fourth duck, son. You got one that very much so not in a row. The ducks are out of a row. My ducks are in a row.

Oh, welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. We're back here in the duck car room. I'm so ready to roll. We've got a guy who is all in spring. Yep. It's that time. I'm ready. It's March.

Stuff is blooming. That's right. I've sneezed. The crappies on the bank. A million times today and I've never been happier. It's just strange to see Galvin out of Earth tones. It's just. Well, he looks good.

I'm not saying he doesn't. I've got a good color about it. I love it. It brings up them baby blues. I'm in. This is in no way making fun of him. It's odd to see. Hey, I'm a good looking fella.

A fine figure of a man. Been saying it for years. See? That shirt's terrifying. That is a crazy looking fish. Well, he's been in a cornfield all night. Hey. So you ever seen them corn fed bucks?

Hey, corn makes everything better. This is true. It makes whiskey. It makes whiskey. There you go. That's it. Sound like a Luke Bryan song. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. And it makes my woman get frisky. Oh, boy. Okay. Oh, we got to edit the whole episode again. I don't want to hear that. Oh, we ain't got to do nothing. No.

It is. It is great that it is spring. It is. It is. I'm so happy. It's borderline early summer. And it is hot. I know it, it's hot.

I'm about to whip out the tank top. But it's fixing the rain. Thank God, because we need some of that yellow dust to settle down. It has come with a vengeance down here, which, I mean, I'm sure you can hear my nasly self. I've succumbed to the sickness of the boys. Oh, not quite to, it's just a cold. It ain't nothing. Just making sure.

Yeah, they're negative for everything. But then they got old dad. I guess if you blow enough snot into your dad's face while you're cleaning everything, you get it. You get it. It is what it is. I'm all right, though. But the pollen ain't helping nothing. But the time's going to change.

I know, I know. The time change? Is this the last time change? This is the last time it changes. I don't know if that's true yet or not. I hope it is. But please call your local state politician. March on Washington.

We finally have something we can all agree on, and we need to take to the streets. Which one are we going with? Are we going with the one that's coming? No, no, no, no. There's no debate here. We need an extra hour at night. I'm not debating. I'm just asking which one they decided to stick with.

I'm cool with whichever one they go with. Just quit changing it. I'm not cool with whichever one they got. You can't stick with the one now because when it gets seven o'clock, it's done two hours of daylight. In the morning? Yeah. So we're going with the other one.

Yeah. Right. I want it to be daylight at 9 p.m. Well, is this supposed to take place? That's what I'm talking about. There's a rumor that after this time change, I think politicians stink, but if you're listening, which you're not, because you're not listening to the people. I just went hard on the paint there. That after this one, the Senate's approved it at Congress Hayden and they'll never change the clocks again.

Yep. And your boy will be on top of the world. What made him change? I thought I read, we changed this time. I don't believe that. And we changed, but we changed next fall. and then it sticks. No, no, no, no.

Is that not what it is? I will march on Washington if they do that. Why would they do that? I don't believe that. I don't, I don't want it to happen. Do you know how much happier I would be if during duck season I got to wake up at like 5.30 to go duck hunting? Oh, praise the Lord.

Instead of having to wake up at 4.30 or 3 or whatever, something's stupid. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah, I mean, you would just be in a better mood. Like, of course, them 10 o'clock mileage is not going to be 11 o'clock mileage. Yeah, that's right. I mean, Phil's whole spill, there. and duck season is going to have to chain. But it's spring. Boy, I've seen some things happen here around four or five o'clock.

I'll tell you. Well, it'll be like eight or nine o'clock now. I mean, this is going to be wild. Shooting hours is going to be $8.58. That sounds fantastic. Amazing. It really does. I'll take my kids to school in the dark.

I don't like getting off working at being dark outside. Yeah, walking outside, like, because we ain't got to windows anyway. So, like, when you walk around the front door, this place and you're like, it's pitch black. It's bedtime. They're coming. You know, well, then you still got four hours until you can put your kids to bed. And you're like, well, this isn't no fun.

Like, talk about being a captive audience. Like, they got me now. But, yeah, when you can play outside with them until 8 o'clock. Oh, they'll sleep all night. They'll be so wild. That's good. I'm in. March is one of the top probably three months of the year.

Is it? Easy. For what? Everything. Life. Really? I love it. Do you?

Oh, it's great. Don't you think? Mark. I think I'm more of an April. Cropi. It's okay. Cropi. But it's like, it's the change happens.

So you've been all sad. Can imagine if it snowed here. But you've been all like, oh, it's all dark outside and it's cold. And then it's like. It's the resurrection in nature. Here we come. Life begins again. And it does that.

And the sun. With a vengeance. Yeah. Comes in like a line. Oh, yeah. Goes out like a line. lamb. That's why we got tornado threats tonight. But by the way,

bring them on. Can we talk to the tornadoes? Y'all quit coming at night. The fight during the daytime, let us at least know it's coming. Fair fights are nice. We used to never get these things during the middle of night. Now I'm going to bed. We used to never get tornadoes. Yeah, we now tornado alley over here.

That's just, especially out there by you. They like that little gap in them hills right there. I know. I can watch them go back. You're on the right side of the hill. We sing one one time when Joe Hanna was a baby. She was probably six or seven. And I don't know.

It went, it got just ominous, you know, the color of the clouds. And it just looked weird. And I looked out there and I seen this little tail just go, just like that. I said, that was a tornado. I just saw a tornado. Touchdown. Get my bicycle inside.

Get my bicycle inside. I'm bicycle got to go. Yeah, them naders are way cool. or when they're out there in the Midwest going through like wheat fields. And there ain't nobody's stuff getting tore up. I mean, I feel bad for a farmer. And ain't no thickets out there. You can see where they're going.

You can get away from them. Yeah, you can move. You can't get away from them here. No, you just look up and you're like, oh, there went somebody's porch. Yeah. And then, you know, like, you don't know what's going on. I don't know why they just can't come in the daylight.

Every time around here is the middle of the night. It is. It is. It is. So I'm sure tonight our phones will go off, and it'll be a mad scramble to get kids and everything and, you know, just go getting a haul. I go with the sleep-through-it approach.

Sleep-through. That works every time but once. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's a lot-fired-so-peaker game. He's got a 50-50-chink. 50-50, boys. That all-in works every time but once, don't it side? That's it, boys.

But it's a lot of fun. It's a good time while it rides. What's up? Let it ride. You can't even enjoy the adrenaline because you're asleep. Yeah, I'm good. I don't like being scared. I didn't even know it's going to rain. Oh, Lord.

I don't even look that at the, like, whatever. Look, I watch that Reed Timmer guy. Who's Reed? That's that extreme meteorologist guy. He's starting to crowd Louisiana. That means if he's here. Oh, boy. He ain't no Jim Cantorri.

I don't know. Jim Cantorri don't know Jack. Reed? He on the ball. Jim, I'm sorry for what Mark. Jim, he's back in the studio now. Yeah, Jim, though, yeah, because he kept picking the wrong places. Or maybe he was picking the right place.

Maybe he didn't want to be involved at him. Is he who was out on the side of the road in front of Duck Commander when it snowed? I don't know. Was there somebody here? Well, he's up the street. It was close enough. He was in front of Waffle House, technically. Which is where I'd have been, too.

Oh, yeah, he just walked outside. I'll be in there in a minute, mothered and covered. There is a likely risk of severe weather today. A likely risk. Nobody tells me anything until y'all just told me. Yeah. 2 a.m? Oh, man.

Hey, that's what I'm talking about. You're going to be sleeping through it. You'll sleep through it. You'll sleep through. Your boy going to sleep. No, I ain't going to hear it. And I got a lot to say today. That's fine.

Hey, I'm just, y'all's talking about all this weather and the time change. Does your knee hurt? No. That ain't going to do it to you. No, it's over. That's all over. All right. All right.

All right. Look, springtime is here. It's warming up. You know what that means. That means more outside cooking. And y'all know we love to eat beef around here. And that's what because of our friends over at Triedells beef makes such a good product, baby. Ain't it good?

It's so good. Our friend, Cy Robertson would say, buy on the grill! Look, before we got Triedells, getting ready for a cookout, man, somebody had to run the grocery store, do all the things, grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day. And you never really know where that beef comes from. But with Triedells beef, we skip the grocery store and do it a different way. Tritails comes from a family ranch out in Texas. They're a fifth generation American ranch, so they've been at it for a while.

Now, look, the beef comes straight from their ranch and other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way. Their steaks are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door. We threw a couple of ribbys on the grill. Look, salt, pepper, garlic, hot fire, that's all you need. Look, because I'll tell you what, when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living, you can taste the difference. The tenderness and the flavor are fantastic. So if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season,

go check out Tri-Tales beef. I know in size case, Christine loves it, which is just a, she doesn't eat meat. She isn't a big meat easier, folks. Yeah. Just go to trybeef.com slash. That's tribeef.com slash support ranch families and eat some dang good steak.

When is the time going to change? When it changes? No. I think two weeks from now. Oh. You'll never notice it, Cy. I know. No.

It just... No, like the end of this... It just passes me by, boy. It changes Saturday night? Of which this episode airs. Oh, okay. We filmed it ahead of time. Yeah.

We do? The March 12th. March 12th. March 12th. Did our Congress vote on this? No, because they're all worried about stuff nobody cares about. Hey, I got a question. I'm going to be over in Virginia then.

So I'm already going to be sprung forward a little bit. Oh, you're going to be so jacked up. There is nothing that boggles intelligent humans quite like a time change. I mean... Time zones are the way. Time zones. But I understand them greatly. So I'm going to spring forward my clock for two hours instead of one hour.

You ain't going to have to do nothing except leave your cell phone on. It'll do it for you. Oh, yeah. That's the whole thing. thing you need to do. The microwave. Well, you can fix that when you get home. They make those these days.

You radio all in your truck. Yeah. Radio in the truck. You'll have to change all that. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. If I'm ever pressing.

You got to change you watch. Yep. Got to change the watch. I do. But when in doubt, just look at your phone. You ought to have two. Just at that and in the drawer and get the ud. And then when it changes, swap them back.

Switch. You don't have to mess with that. No, the spring forward is the best. That's like two clicks and you're done. It's that one where you've got to chase it all the way around that's aggravating. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. When you fall back.

Don't be aggravated, just get another walk. That was like when I first went to visit my mom and dad when they moved to, Daddy was working in Arizona. He's back, baby. All right. No, no. We got there after a long drive. You had the screen.

Four. Something like that. Okay. We lay in bed and Mama started laughing. She's in her bed. She's laughing. And I said, what are you laughing about? She said, you're and your wife in there.

talking. She said, have you figured out what, what's the problem is? And I said, what are you talking about? She said, oh, you're going to lay there for four, five, six hours, because I did it when I first come out here. Oh, what the time changing? No, there's no insects in Arizona. What happened to? They got them big old spiders over. No, no, no, no. I'm telling you, there's no insects like there is in Louisiana. Okay, because we got in bed, everything shut off, no TV, no noise, nothing. Oh, yeah, I'm off that. You know, birds, okay, and insects at night in Louisiana is, they make a lot of noise.

That's true. Aren't you right? So does that white noise machine. And I'm laying there and talking about, what's going on here? Something ain't right. Too quiet. It's not normal. Too quiet.

Yeah, and my mom was just Was out there laughing She saw you figure it out of the fly And I said, oh, I know what it is now There is no buzzing There are no mosquitoes biting you Can't wait on that That's peaceful

Yeah, I just I said, okay Yeah, I understand You know what else you didn't have? What? My pillow What that made me? Ah 2.0, shameless blood

Hey, I'm not being with too And you weren't on a helix. I don't know how you ever even slept. I'm telling you. And you weren't taking it out of great. Better sleep and quiet. I don't know if I could live up in Alaska. What?

You could. No, you couldn't. Because it'd all be daylight like three hours a day. Yeah. You know. You would thrive there. I would never make it.

Those folks up there are so laid back. Kind of like you? Kind of like slow motion. Yeah. There you go. Well, that's like the bunch in Michigan that I just got last weekend. What were they doing? Huh?

Drinking? No. No, I'm kidding. They got nothing better to do that. These are outdoors. It's too cold. Okay. Oh, no, cold don't bother them.

They have big families up there. Yeah. And they don't know. You have big families? Yeah, all born in July. No, Denver. Because they're conceived in the wintertime. Piece that one together, didn't we?

No, I'm saying you. Hey, look, you know, we had a thousand people up there and look, they had me good because they had about four or five meters around me. But all the rest of them was out there just in the cold. Freezing. But foot of snowed around. No, they wouldn't freezing. No, they wasn't. I've been up there in a deal outside like that.

Yeah, they were freezing. First question I had to ask about today. Who's bright ideal was this to do this outdoors? Yeah. In the wintertime up here. Was there snow? They were behind the recreation. About a foot deep.

How about going through that door right there? Yeah, and a lot of ice, yeah, try that. You know, because all the ducks and all the animals, because there was animals everywhere, deer everywhere, turkeys everywhere, ducks, geese everywhere. But they're sitting on ice. I don't like sitting on ice. Yeah.

This was the whole Spring is Here episode. We went straight to winter. We're back to winter. Get out of the wintertime. Yeah. Well, how I did? The winter. Winter should end directly after Christmas day.

I'm weedy. December 26th should be spring. It should be 80 degrees sunny. Well, it almost was. And we should go swimming. Yeah. I mean, most of duck season was like that. You don't like sweat?

That's about true. Not to go of water. That's why I said it needs to be 80 degrees. The water? Just that outside. Now you're going to mess up everything. That was the rule in my house when I was a kid. We couldn't go swim until it was 80 degrees outside.

So we'd call time and temperature 100 times. 79. 79. The current time is 10.48 a.m. The temperature is 78 degrees. And then we'd call back 10 minutes later, hoping it'd say 80. And when it said 80, we're like, mom we're going to the pond they said it once time and temperature said it there are kids listening

right now and i just realize how old i am that have no clue why anyone would call a phone number but that was the only way to know the temperature back they certainly didn't know you called it from a phone that was in your house yeah hooked to the wall not one that you toaded with you do you remember your child's phone number 396 276 don't say it out loud people are going to call it i don't live there no more he don't live your mom does she's basically moved in with us right now She didn't. She's having to work your kids. I know mine, but it's still my parents' phone number.

396. I don't know. I was in my house now. No. That's Johnny's Pizza. Johnny's Pizza, baby. That's Johnny's Pizza, baby. Johnny's on Wallace, baby.

Y'all call there and hit us with that delivery. Yeah, I'll give out my address if y'all do it. He said, you'll give me an address. 2916, North Savage Street. I remember, like, I remember all those phone numbers. numbers from, I mean, that's crazy. Like my grandparents' phone numbers, I remember both theirs. I remember my best friend's Blazes phone number.

I'd call him all the time, and it would be to, you know, hey, tell your mom to bring you over here. Yeah. Same way with Clark. I thought she's going to say, what's the temperature? Well, he never knew either. What was timing temperature? It was like 397,000 or something?

I had a big sister who was in charge. I think it's still a thing. Is it really? We're about to call it. I think we call it was. I wonder who's supposed. sponsors it now. It used to always be some bank.

Like, it was... The time and temperature of the day. See, the problem is if you type in time and temperature on Google, it just tells you that it's 309 and that it's 79 degrees. That's lame. No swimming. That's no fun. You can't go swimming.

No swimming. You need to get that skimmer out there and get that pollen off the day. Oh, oh, no. I could go. I noticed that. Last night, me and Johanna was grilling. She cooked us up some steaks, and I was looking at my sink over her. outside on my porch

and I said there's polym on there it's already started I've been there about a week now yeah I got my water hose I hosed everything I gotta take him fish guts off

yeah sure do they make you listen to an ad I just want the time in the temperature I don't want don't be throwing that that's the same thing

everybody does in this podcast that's it why is that space is valuable now. I don't even know what that ad was for. I wanted the time and I wanted the temperature. We're going to entertain, though. We can have ads.

We're not informative. Tomato. Yeah, we're really not informative. See? Yeah. Nobody's listening to us for important information, like what time it is or what the temperature is. Yeah, they don't care.

They just look down at their phone. Now that I'm older, I'm considering why we just didn't buy a thermometer. Or a clock. And hook it outside your window where you could see it. Yeah. Really seems like that. Why didn't you just turn on a weather channel? Well, that's only every eight minutes, ten minutes, on the AIDS.

Yeah. You couldn't wait that long? We never seen that. I want to go swimming, man. So you were the start of instant gratification. That's what you do. That's what it is. Time and temperature.

The downfall of society. Entitled. Entitled generation. The phone number to time and temper. Unbelievable. Why don't you start one? What? A time and temperature.

Yeah, you can do like cram. Give your number out. Somebody called you. You know like Craim. I'm going to do it on Seinfeld. You can give movie reviews. I'm going to do that when people call the store from now on. The current time is...

No, you ought to just say the water temperature on Lake Darbone is 62 degrees. There you go. All you got to do is call me, ain't they? People call me and ask them all the time. I'm like, I ain't there, bro. I don't know. Yeah. You just start telling them water temperatures of local lakes.

The water temperature of Caney Lake is... 62 degrees. Is that correct? That is incorrect. That is incorrect. It's definitely. Definitely 64. And they're on the bank.

And they're on the bank. They're in the mouse. Get you a bobber and a 30-second ounce. Double-cross hook with a croppy magnet on it. What's a bobber? A cork. A cork. Cork, what I call it.

Bobber. I wanted to people, other people, to understand what I say. It is. Well, it depends on if you're using a cork or a bobber. People say it's float. I call it a court. But they'll call it a float, a bobber, a store. Strike indicator.

Who's got time to say strike indicator? I got a cor. You got a cork? It's made out of cork. If it's made out of cork, you can call it a cork. If it's made out of styrofummer plastic, it's a bobber. Why don't you just call it a plastic? Well, that could be anything.

Did you call it a court? I got a cork. No, I got a plastic. No, you got a bobber. You got to be careful with plastic. They can make anything these days. I had one other day. It was defected.

It kept sinking. Are you sure it wasn't? just a fish on, it was, you know, every time I'd have a fish on that. I said,

this cork is defected. Don't take it out. That's right. Springs here. The cork is defective. It keeps going under. Well,

let's defect into our next break. We'll be back right after this. I'm for one anti-pool. Me too. Are you asked at my residence? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

If somebody else wants to have one to invite you over, I'm cool with that kind of boat. That's why we got a golf cart. I got a boat. That's enough trouble. I got a golf cart that can get me to about eight different pools. Yeah.

Not invited to all of them. Like Jason Missy's, it probably would be weird if I was just in their pool all of a sudden. Well, you got a lake. You can just jump in a lake. Yeah. I've been in that lake, pond thing. So is me and Gobbin. Yep.

So it's that. Yes, I've been in there too. When were y'all in my pond? Or my neighborhood pond. Duck Dynasty. Duck Dynasty. Duck Dynasty. I told them boys, he said, you better take this, Mike.

off me. Yep. You better take this money off. I'm going to go on. And look. They didn't move. Yeah. This was in the August.

It's hot. Hotest month of year. They're hired in the firehouse. And we're wearing hunting clothes and waiters. And that's what made you jump in? Yeah. And I told him, I said, hey, you better do something with this mic because I figure it wet. Well, hey, they hardheaded.

They didn't listen. He said, no, you ain't going to get wet. Then all they hear is, oh. He went off that pier. Flash. Are you a, are you a, oh. Oh, no. Tarzan yell off the pier.

Tarzan and yell off the pier. I can confirm he was not airborne that long. Yeah. And my grices fell off? That happened. I slipped out of the waiters, didn't have any shoes on, and I actually felt the bottom until I felt my grises, picked him up my butt toe.

Yep. And got him. Ingenuity. He didn't even grab them with his hand. He just stuck them back on with his toe. Just stuck them back on. That's wild. Are you that flexible?

Oh, he can be in like a tape measure. Hey, hey. It cracks when it does? Yeah, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, hey, guess what? And then rolls back up, too.

A thousand dollar, uh, Mike. It goes. He goes. They go. And then them guys say, hey, we, after that, we got waterproof mics all the time. I said, hey, I said, look, I told y'all, y'all did not listen. See, the problem with a pool. though is like they can tell when you pee in it.

You just jump in the lake. I ain't got a clue. How can they tell? I mean, there's generally a pretty warm current staying around. Everybody pees in the pool. If you wear a black suit? Hey, you just go ahead. Do you all pee in your parents? We got to go back. Everybody pees in the pool? Everybody.

Oh, everybody does. If it wouldn't, it'd just be an ool. That's right. That's right. That's right. See, we got on this because Beth, our producer was asking, well, there's not a lot of pools of West Monroe, and I think we just found the This is redneck, okay? They're going to pee in the pool.

If people say they ain't peeing in the pool, they lie. That's the bottom line. The only way... Beth is saying she has never... I will not say I've never peed in a pool because, you know, sometimes you just have fun. He can't get out of filter on it. If I get waste deep in water, I'm taking a leak.

I can just go ahead and tell you that right now. Even in a pool? What about a high tub? I ain't getting... I ain't making no human suit. How do you and your wife out on a hand of grocery trip there's a hot tub are you going to pee in it boy there's a hot tub I'll let her get out of the hot tub and then I'll be in there taking a leak

in the bathroom or off the port that you see you ain't got to go far I'm not saying you got to like go to the bathroom like come to my parents pool there's shrubs there's naked rear ends in every direction seeing if they can pee over the fence my kids are crazy they still can yeah my hat's off to it's impressive those days it's excited so but yeah they don't pee in the pool I don't think You're kids Colts Carter If they pee in the pool

They're peeing way too much Because they pee every five They get out of the pool Go pee somewhere in the grass Yeah Well that's just That's when they're dribbling Because they didn't get it all out

Over there trying to reach over to fin Oh they paid in the pool But guarantee Your little daughter Definitely pee in the pool Oh yeah 100%. She gets out and goes the bathroom

Well Yeah One out of three She goes in there And gets her some more jeez one of them things she pokes a straw in Caprice on I know what I'm talking to my kids about tonight

Pee and in the pool It's got a filter on it Yeah and it's sterile You're in this sterile Am I the only one In this podcast that is anti-peeing in a pool This is why I'm anti-water parks I mean I just don't go down the lazy Band-Aid river

That's not my deal It's not right There you go It's all funny games till that band-a-bentate go That is so gross You see SpongeBob come floating by you. You're like, nope, I'm out. Mm-mm.

Nope, I'm out on that. We're not going to water parks this year, hopefully. Oh, you're going. Oh, yeah. We went last spring break. If you got kids, you're going. You're going. We went to that indoor one at the Great Wolf Lodge,

which is like a sweat sauna and an indoor water pole. Yeah, that's good. That way the sun can't kill all the bacteria in the water. That's a good call. That's a brilliant one. It's like you jump into a pool of hand sanitizer. Hey, that was fun. We took Joe.

and Brooke over. I got the Harry Potter wand and we run around all them floors touching us. Oh, we didn't do that. That was extra money. I was like, kids, look, pizza, which I'm into.

Oh, yeah. Oh, you can eat, baby. Yeah, sign me up for that station. There's nothing more fun than pizza in a water slide. That's all I'm saying. And we're, I mean, it's not summer yet. You can put whatever you want to with pizza,

and I'm going to have pretty good time. See? You can fill in the backside of that with waterslide duck hunt. Boy, I'd like that. A big old piece of pizza, just a hole. I'd eat 14 incher. Would you? It's been that long?

Sweep the kitchen. We went over and ate at the pizza place after church other day, and I slighted me a piece, but what would it do for you? What pizza place? When I was in Europe, I had a place we had pizza, and a 12-inch pizza. Just roll it up like a hot dog and eat it. And it'd melt you mouth.

That'd be off. Oh, no. It would melt in your mouth. I ate pizza rolls for dinner the other night because... I had to sell it. Yeah, I was on my own. That's legit. And now my kids ain't going to have enough pizza rolls for the next time they want it.

He ate them all, boy. They were so good. That'd be all right. Where did you got? What pizza place did you go to after church other night? You got to know. Johnny's? Johnys?

Yeah, well. I'm just checking. I ain't nobody been to Pizza Hut since me and you quit going there when they closed down to lunch buffet. You know? But I had a salad bar. If you say $5 all you can eat pizza buffet, I don't care. I'll go sit it out until you put a good one out there. I don't care what names on the door.

I'm going. He's going, boy. I'd sit it out with you, wait on a good one. Then when the Johnny's Pizza Buffet opened back up, me and Martin tried to... That's a good one. Yeah, it was crazy as nobody believes me. My favorite thing about the Johnny's Pizza buffet is the salad bar.

It's good. You can't get all them top of it. You can't get like pickled okra and deadgum black olives and all that any other saliv. What? Either one of them? Uh-uh. Well, sorry. But pizza places...

But I get them little chunks of ham. An onion. Them little square hams. They've been processed so much. That's what I'm saying. The good news about the ochre is at least I know it's okra. That ham, I ain't real sure what they've cubed up. And I don't care because it's the last.

And I don't know who has to boil all them eggs and chop them up. But God bless them. They show up. They show up from China like that. Do they? I don't know, but it's good. Is that the chick of China Chinese chicken? You just beat them with a saucer.

You're chicken and the brain stop. No, remember when COVID finally was like, hey, you could eat a buff. again, me and Martin said we're going to John. We called months in advance, is the buffet back open? Yeah, we checked like once a month. And all that money they made from delivering pizzas through all that time, me and Martin

wiped out in one afternoon. Man, I hurt that place. I remember I was like, I walked out of there like, oh, wow. Derek saw us coming, said, uh-oh. Yeah, we didn't get our discount. I said, go ahead. He knew what was going to happen. Just run them. You know the ones. Yeah, it's us. Yeah, they see us walk through the door. They're like, well, they went to

margins. It's us again. Got a need to sell these to four more kids. That way we'll make our money back. But I do. Man, why this pizza's so good? We could talk about it. I don't know. I got strong opinions on people. I'm sorry, Gavin, that you have to not partake in it as often or as frequently as you used to.

Oh, it was good. That was always the go-toe around here. If you wanted this crew to work through lunch to get something done, like, hey, we got 10 Johnny's pizzas showing up at about 1230. You ought to see how much stuff they put in a box in. All they had to do is give them free pizza. Best thing going. Works every time.

I'm trying to think of all the pleasures in life if there's one better than free pizza. Free pizza. I don't think there is. It certainly ain't a swimming pool. I can assure you. No. It ain't a swimming pool. Pizza while sitting beside a swimming pool.

It don't get much better. That sounds like a good pool. I go to that one. Sounds like a good time. There you go. let's take another break. We'll be back right after this. At Nukes for church every Wednesday, we go to Nukes.

I do get the pizza there. The veggie pizza with a cauliflower crust. Oh. And one of them side salads. That's how you know pizza is the greatest thing ever made. Whenever you can say veggie pizza and a cauliflower crustace. Well, I like it. It just makes me sad.

It's still good. I mean, I'd eat it. And red bell peppers and then mushrooms. and them yellow bell peppers. But when you start talking about that, onion, pepperoni and ham and sausage. Yeah, I can put that on there too. Yeah.

I can have the pepperoni. I make a good stew with that. I can have meat. A good stew with cauliflower. No, no, with bell peppers, onions, all the different color bell peppers. Oh, yeah. Onions, and then...

It always goes back. Filet mignon, cut it up in little chunks. And put it in. on pizza? No, we put it on in that stew I make. When did we get the... Oh, no, hey. It takes you about... Why have I never had your stew? No, no, it takes you about 15 minutes. The only thing the man ever served me was fried spam.

No, no, no. And you're talking about you make a dead gun. That's actually in the stew. Oh, no, no, no, no. That's two. I'm telling you. Unbelievable. Especially when you buy the little round filet mignon's. When you're going to build it again? What other shapes did filet mignon's come in? I don't know. Oh, no, that's fine. Wendy's got square ones.

I'm still mad. The only thing the man's ever served me is fried spam with a halopiner on a piece of bread. That's it. That's pretty good. It was good. It was hot, but it was good. It was good. You know?

I love fried spam. You're making me hungry. I'm not going to back away from it. As a rat, somebody on a giraffe. We'll show that, come the email segment. All right, boy, I'm going through them as we go. I like it. There you go.

But I, so you're a stew maker. Oh, yeah. Stew maker. What do you call it? Just stew? Mulligan stew. It's just a little stew. Okay.

You eat it over rice or a tater? No, we started eating it over noodles. Noodle? And you can get your favorite noodles. I don't remember what they are, the Italian. Well, yeah. No, no. Rigetone.

These are Italian. They're spaghetti. What shape are they? Let's go. Bow ties? No, it's a little round thing. A little round thing. Pavioli?

No, that's an elbow. Nokey? It's the elbow things, yeah. Macaroni? No, not macaroni. It's albos. Elbow noodles. You're talking about like cavitopi?

Well, look, they're about... I didn't know we were all about well-vosed and different noodles. I love pasta. So, it's... Did she eat pasta restaurants in town? About each and a half long. And pretty thick. Pernoey.

G-N-O-C-H-I. Not N-O-C-H-I. N-O-C-H-I-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-K-E-N-E-K-E-N-E-K-E-N-E-M-E-O-K-E-N-O-E-N-O-E-N-O-E-N-O-E-N-O-E-T-O-E-O-E-R-T-E, I'm like thick-D-E-E-R-E-R-E-R-E-E-R-E-O-L-E-E. Oh, like Mulligan. It was a gravy. Like a squirrel-M-O-O-O. No, you like, I like squirrels and potatoes.

I love Jersey Joe does. Let me tell you, you could put you a piece of light bread down and put that on top of it. And so on. You could go to town. Jersey Joe does that. Which one you got? That top, right? Lazzania?

No, it's any lasagna. That's lasagna. Well, hey, this is just macaroni, and it's about an inch and I have two inches. Ain't that a d'ank? It's a macaroni. Pined. Pini pasta. Like a little tube?

Yeah, yeah. Pini pasta. We got there. Very important to know your types of pasta. Or is it rigatone? All right. It ain't no rigatine. My tony riggy.

One of my aunts was she's a Italian descent. You're right? I thought she cooked was that type. When it was mac and cheese, that was what it was. It was that. A rigatoni noodle instead of macaroni? Yeah. Ziti?

Oh, it's good. Bates. Ziti's good. Y'all just showing out. I'm reading. No, no, hey, she made some good... Well, I mean, you gotta think, most pasta dishes are like deconstructed pizza,

so, like, yeah, I'm in. I mean, we've talked about how much we love pizza, so like... I had a pasta for lunch today. That's what I'm talking about. Thank you, factor meals. There you go. Pasta goes good with everything. Yeah, there's nothing wrong with.

Like rice. And people say it's bad for you. Like, it'll make you heavy. The skinniest I've ever been, in my life, I ate pasta every day. What, in Italy? Mm-hmm. Yeah. I was tiny. No, clothes fell off.

He was tiny. Couldn't gain weight, and I just kept eating pasta. I'm going to go with that had less to do with your diet and more with your activity level. Probably but I'm just... Still, I was... It was a very good time in life. Pasta every day at lunch. If you talk about that red sauce, Georgia Joe cooks that.

Does he? Yeah. I mean, no, no. That ball can cook. Yeah, it'll make you slap your mama. He's about half a whole oil Italian itself. Yeah. Yeah. I think he's a whole jersey.

He puts some good food together. He does. Jersey Joe. Jersey Joe. Giant D. trying to figure out who it is. I don't know who Jersey Joe. That's another one of Phil's misfits down there.

Oh, really? Oh, he can cook. But the boy, I can cook. I will get in that. Yeah, this one is actually like worth having around. Yeah. He's beneficial. Most of Phil's are just projects that end up costing you more.

more than the Yeah. Well, just The lookout. But, no, Jersey Joe, he helped.

Jersey Joe pulls his own weight. Let's put it in the way. Yeah. Like, they're like Burley. Yeah. Like, come on in. Burley's the main. Yeah, everything good with them.

Red, we're going to have to revisit. He was in the store the other day. Jimmy Redd? Oh, Lord. He buys something? No,

he said he had to go get a check from Ms. Cave first. Yeah. You sell him some of that soap? Was that? That. Was in pockets full?

Was in pocket full? You're being mean. No, he's coming back by a Falcon. No, but I guarantee you you'd have clipped him for another $2.50 if you had a fountain drink machine. Oh, yeah. That's right. He'd gone go by a fountain coat and a pack of Marlboros and a can of Copenhagen. Every day.

Every day. I said, well, don't you just buy a roll of snow? He said, I can't afford that. That ain't good for you. Yeah. He'd go 10 days in a row, but he ain't going to buy one. That's wild. That's the first thing he'd do when he wake up in the morning was head to VJ's.

Yep. A 17-mile ride to the gas station. Yep. Every day. What he had against stocking it at his house. I love a gas station, though. I do, too, if they got good stuff in it. All gas stations got pretty good stuff.

No, but there's some. The gas stations really peak once you get down there close to Interstate 10. Oh, yeah. They got that bodine in there. Get them boudan egg rolls and cracklings. Even though I do stop at a place that a day down there on my way down, their cracklings were obviously cooked after their catfish special. I was sad.

Yeah. That ain't no good. It was like, man, that's a crackling. Little fish. With a little farm-raced catfish. Yeah, no. And fairness, I still ate them. Yeah.

But you could tell. I kept trying to figure out if it was just a bad one or if it was a whole batch. Turns out it was a whole batch because I ate every one of them. But they just, it did make me sad. I was like, I should have just bought the catfish then. If this is what I was going to eat. But I don't know why fish ruins grease. But, you know, my grandma used to have one.

Like when she savour and strain her oil, she'd write fish on that one. And then everything else was fried in everything else. But fish had its own little container over there. That was right next to the bacon grease container. Well, I don't tell you something right there. Yep. Her little fry, Daddy, she cooked like three pieces at a time. Standing there on that stove.

Oh, she could eat. I don't need my three. Now we got them baskets that'll cook for an army. Oh, yeah. And we fell them up, too. Yeah. Why? That's all my food today.

What's that? Fried fish. You eat it? You betcha. Well, you fry it in it? Payne out of all. What kind of batter you got on it? I got flour, almond flour.

No. Hey, some things in life you can't go to the dark side. You can't substitute. Amen. Life's too short, ain't it? That's reward day, see. What day is that? That's about every day.

It just depends on what day he catches them. Yeah. Well, my one says, you keep fish today. And if Johanna's cooking already or not? Yeah. What's y'all having tonight? She's a meal prepper She already got her menu done

For all week Yeah She's something You're gonna miss her You're gonna miss her when she moves back out Ain't you? It ain't gonna be long Yeah

They're doing the paperwork now On that house Oh Lord Paper Guy one going back He was an empty nester Then he got re-nested Now he's gonna be empty again

Well Miss Paula She doesn't check out the backyard They out in the country She said We can put that feeder out back there By that pond I got a pawn We'll put a feeder out

back there. She doesn't find, she doesn't figure out where to get too deer. Then we beat frying physics. Yeah. Yeah,

a little fried backstrap. Ain't anything wrong with that. She said, you get the fish and I'll provide the backstrap. Yum. That's a good trade. That's a real good trade there.

Well, let's take another break. We'll get them emails when we come back right after this. Johnny D. What's in that inbox? Hello at dot callroom. Dot. It's hard to say after that.

Well, here's the one Si brought up earlier. A man on a giraffe. No. Oh. The kid. Oh. If anybody's got one of these, please send it so

I can. Why is that TV so close to the giraffe? I bet. Because that giraffe's so tall. I bet you said a left monk. I bet that establishment right there, you can still buy cigarettes at the front door and a vending machine. Well, that is in Middleburg, Florida.

So probably. Absolutely. Scott sent that in. and his son saw it and said, I got to ride that like sidewalk. Yeah, there you go. You got to get up right where you can hold him cigarettes at the front door. Yeah.

Yeah, you can still get you a heater for a roll of quarters up in that joint. I guarantee you. 100%. You walk out of there smelling like pool chalk. Oh, that got me. I don't know where to go from there because that was funny. Okay, we got a lot of people because it was a lot of people, because it was us for,

thank you, Godwin, that got pedicures. You're welcome. You ready to go back? I go with you. But Squirrel from Mayo, Florida, got to be honest. If you're named Squirrel and you're from Florida, I'm probably going to read your email.

He's the one that owns that establishment. That kid was just in. Or maybe he's got the local cigarette vending machine in his model cornered. giraffe part. It's just a jurastic part. Yeah. He said squirrel's the one that I'm sorry, Squirrel.

I don't even know. Well, Squirrel, squirrel, oh, squirrel decided to take the place. His girlfriend would want him get a pedicure. He saw us do it. He went? He went. Send us a picture, Squirrel. He doesn't have a picture.

It didn't happen. Did you enjoy it? I guarantee you the answer is yes. He said it was actually fantastic. Oh. There you go. It was fact. If you can go sit in that chair for 40 minutes and not leave there relaxed,

there is something wrong with you. Yeah. Mm-hmm. I don't care if you name is for it. Hey, because the massage for your legs and feet was wonderful. Yeah. Okay. And you actually, you know, you get your toenails trim.

Yeah. Now, the foot stuff is what it is. And cleaned. Okay. Now, some of you may not want to put paint on it. Hey, I like paint. That leads us into our next email. Well, go ahead.

It doesn't have anything to do with squirrel. That's right. Now we're going to rabbits. Anthony, I don't know if Anthony owns. Maybe a cougar or two. We're back. We're back on them cougars, boys. Hey, y'all love cougars.

Hey, don't break your mic again. Stop it. Where were you at? Anthony. Anthony from Sabitha, maybe, Kansas. Yeah, sure. Sure. Sabitha, Kansas.

He's mad at me because I said I would never paint my tone. apparently and he said I need to man up because his daughter who's named Charlotte which Lottie isn't ours is just Lottie but a lot of people Charlotte call us so our daughters have the same name and he said I'm 6 324 and when my daughter says I'm painting your toenails you let if my daughter wants to paint my tonal I will allow yes yes yes yes I'm just not going to go to an establishment with Martin and Gobwin and have my toenails painted well if I need to clarify that if you Your daughter offers to paint your toenail, she's going to be sorely disappointed in just how little a toenail you guys.

Stop it. She's going to have way too much paint. Yeah. You're going to be feeling that pain off some skin. You said, this is going to last years. You're a little Debbie girl. Okay. He is, he keeps reading the head, but I love it.

Well, no, well, I'm just saying, hey, daddy's a little girl. Hey. No, this is a different email. I had a daughter. Did she paint your toenail? My daughter could do whatever she. she wanted to do. There's plenty of pictures

and my nieces would make up on me. I don't care. To be real low-key, it's like relaxing. Me and my daughter used to have. They're sitting there like

playing with your beard hair and you're like, I watch more fancy. Yeah, y'all, y'all paint me whatever you want to. I don't care. I did it on the TV show for crying out loud.

Yep. Yeah, well, you just get it for life. Well, you would get to clear that out. Oh, pipe down. You're getting paid. I know what you would do for money. Well, hey. Yeah.

What are you trying to say, I don't know. I'm kidding. Hey, for a laugh, I'll do anything. Absolutely. I know you would. We're just trying to bring a smile to people. Which is why we're all sitting here talking about makeup and toenel polish and...

Hey. I've had a many of a tea party with my daughter. Oh, I would do. Okay. We watch a lot of fancy Nancy. Fancy Nancy. Fancy Nancy. Fancy Nancy.

I can't remember what men do. Joe Hunter, do you? Hopefully it wasn't fancy. Been too long. I'll watch it tonight. Anyway, we finally hit the big time. What we do? We have done it.

What'd we do? Sierra lives in Tennessee. Okay. She is a Little Debbie distributor. Uh-oh. Little Debbie distributor. She has now said she is here to meet our needs as our personal little Debbie person. We have a personal.

I forgot Godwin's here Godwin we're going to get through this but once We got one We need to come out with a sugar-free You could be the face of Little Debbie That's right Sugar-free

Christmas tree That's right It's got a ring to it Sugar-free Christmas tree There you go Don't send those to Gobbin Send me the OGs Anyway

Send us the regular ones We officially have a phone number To call for all things Well, email. Sierra. We have the end at Little Debbie. Sierra, thank you for doing God's work. Yeah, you know.

Man, that's awesome. Just out there being, just doing things. We're going to get to meet Little Debbie. Or Little Sierra won. I'm not sure with. Yeah, I don't even care. What part Tennessee is she from? Man, our inbox is full of folks from that Long State.

That's just up. We big up in there. Where was we at? We was just that. I don't care how you say. Yeah, we're in Minnesota. Memphis or not Memphis, but I call you, no. I can't remember.

I remember seeing a lot of years I had the road. Summerville. Somerville. Somerville, Tennessee. Summerville, Tennessee. Las Casas, Tennessee. Say that ten times. That's right.

Tennessee, La Casa, Tennessee, La Cossus, Tennessee, Lecasses, Tennessee, La Cossus Tennessee. I'll be able to do it. I'll stop now. That's around Nashville. I know where that is. I have no idea. That's up, Your Honor.

Yeah. Over there? That's over there. That's up there in a bowl. Yeah. It is Middle Tennessee. No, I know all about that. Hey, Sierra, okay.

Don't say it if you don't mean it. Don't say it if you don't mean it. What holiday? Oh, we got Easter coming up. They got them little Easter basket cakes. Those are fire. Uh-oh. It ain't quite...

I like them solid rabbit. And they like... Solid chocolate rabbit. She put it in the freezer, get real cold. That ain't a little debits. No, that's like Russell's over. That's a gar. Well, that's Easter.

Yeah. You don't like that hard chocolate? No, at Easter. At Easter, I want the original Reesey egg. Amen. That was the first shape. And amen. That was my first Easter love was the recent egg.

Well, that's the one you get for dessert. What are you doing with that child? What are you doing with that rabbit? That starts off for rabbit. And now we know why you can't have a little Debbie. That's why we have a little Debbie girl and you don't. That's a snack. I guess so.

Too many sweet. Too many sweet. Oh, Lord. I hate holidays. This has been a wild one. Shall I send us out of here? Please do. All right.

Well, I'm tired of laughing. We're on Zachias because why not? We went there. I'm staying there. Luke 19. Jesus is passing through Jericho. Skip ahead a little bit. When Jesus reached a spot, he looked up and said to him,

Zachias, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today. So he came down at once and welcomed him gladly. All the people saw this and began to mutter. He's gone to be the guest of a sinner. But Zakias stood up and said to Lord, look, Lord, here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor. And if I've cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay it back four times over.

Jesus said to him, today salvation has come to this house because this man, too, is the son of Abraham. For the son of man came to seek and to save the lost. A lot of us are like Zakias. We're not perfect. and a lot of people are sitting there like, I got to get my act together before I become a Christian. I know it.

Jesus is looking at you if you're hiding up in a tree saying, I'm ready. All you got to do is come follow me. Man, that'd be tight, though. It ain't like you break your arm and then wait until you heal up to go to the doctor. Yes, sir. That'd be tight, though.

Just imagine, like, Jesus, I'm coming stay at your house. Yeah, get over here. That's tight. That is a big time. That's big time. Now, I mean people got to say that. No, we'd have a pizza party. Amen.

Carl Johnny, baby. All right. We'll see y'all next time right here in the dog call room. We're out. We go.