Duck Call Room - Uncle Si Was a Secret Agent in the Military

Episode Date: March 15, 2022

Si shocks Martin with his adventures as a secret agent in the Army. But long before Si was busting smuggling rings and setting military nap records, he was getting sucker punched on his first day of high school. Si reveals why he maxed out at E-7 in the Army. Veteran JR Lyda stops by to talk about what it's really like to hunt with Si and Stone. Stone can't stop watching slap fights on YouTube. And John-David asks the boys what age it's OK for your daughter to start dating. ~ https://www.campvaloroutdoors.org — Check out the work Camp Valor Outdoors does to recognize, honor, and support ill, injured, and wounded disabled veterans and their families - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I don't remember anything about my first day of high school, not one thing. I'm going to tell you what mine was, okay? Get off the bus at the high school, go in the gym, we're all in the gym, you know, and I think the principal was going to talk to us all, why we went to the gym and then go to the auditorium, I don't know, but we was in the gym. So, mystery. I'm sitting in about a halfway thing in the seats. in the gym and it's a bunch of us freshmen and as always right you got seniors above us and

seniors below us that's a that's as always oh yeah yeah so what happened the first thing that's okay is hey a senior sandwich yeah they's pushing this little chubby guy on me and i pushed him off of me well the next thing happened is he doesn't sucker punch me in the in the in the in the eye doesn't black my eye okay so the fight on, okay, and about this goes on for about five minutes. He swings at me, I duck, and he makes a bad mistake. He hit me with his

fist on my head, and it was just like somebody shot at 22 rifle. You heard, and he said, holy, hold, hold, he grabbed his hand. When he said, hold it, hold it, hold him, I knocked him down, was on top of him. And they drugged me off of him.

So your first day of high school fight, you got jump. Yeah, I got sucker punch. No wonder you remember your first day. Oh, no, no, look, and here's the wildest thing about all this is. Me and Charles, that was the guy's name, that the senior's push me on, we become friends. He sucker punched you. And he sucker punched me.

And you whooped, but he paid for it because they had to drag me off of him when he said, oh, the old one of them hurt. I said, yeah, you sure are. Started just wailing on that head. You and Chubby Chuck. That's right. No, Charles. Chabby Charles

Chabby Charles He had me about Oh Probably 175 So he's about 300 Yeah There's no way He was more than one

He was pretty heavy on the hoof Yeah He was a guard So y'all were the exact opposite Oh yeah Yeah I was string bean Well why did he punch you

Huh? Because hey They pushed him They pushed me on You know him on me And when I pushed it back He'd nail me I hate

It was one of them hey It was a surprise eyes, okay, for me. I don't disagree with you often. What? I'm going to disagree, because you started this story by saying, I bet 90% of boys' first day of high school. Yeah, they'd have a fight.

What? That number significantly lower than 90. Oh, no, it'd be 50-50 anyway. I thought you was going to say to say, no elevator to the third floor, and there wasn't no third floor, and there wasn't no elevator, or, you know. I'm with Martin on this one I'm telling you take a poll

across the nation first day at high school how many of you had a fight? Why are you yelling? God, he remembers that sucker but what I don't I'm going to say two or three people respond with yes

oh it'd be more than that but y'all were dumb enough to fight in the gym everything we did was a fight out in a parking lot whenever it happened nobody wanted to get in trouble in school and we'll settle down. The coaches were normally if you started a fight, a couple of coaches would grab everybody

scuff of your neck and we'd go up behind the 4-H barn where they had all animals. You're all talking about now. Push it out there and talk about to settle it. That was back in the days where teachers and principals could actually discipline the students. Yeah, they took care of business.

You got in a fight? They didn't break it up. they just put it on pauls yeah they just put it on pauls went behind the building and then said okay get you know hey go for it beat the living you know what out of each other and after you done it talking about shake hand down let's go back work go back scoop did y'all get paddlings at school no no I did we got one of them things called leather belt okay okay wasn't a paddle I got a piece of timber laid across my rear end at Westman

Oh, when we were coming up through high school, what percentage of junior highs and high schools do you think had paddled? When we were there? Yes. All of them. They all had it when I got paddled once. What's the percentage now? Some of them had paddles.

Some of them used melt. Now? Less than ten. Oh, now you couldn't even. Oh, they'd arrest the teacher. Yeah, that's true. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and then they'd put the coaches, all the coaches were the ones to jail.

Something tells me somewhere out there in West Texas, they still paddle. Yeah. They are somewhere, or North Arkansas. Oh, yeah. West Texas, Central Arkansas. They're probably North Carolina, South Carolina. They still, they still. No.

Yeah. No, they're out. Oh, no, they ain't out. Yep, they're out. Out. West Virginia? Yep. They still on that bag.

We all were afraid of one of the principals at our school because there was a rumor he had an electric paddle. Electric paddle. And I guess it was like a tad of. Hazer and the paddle that he had one in prodder, cattle prudders. That one that coach Ainsworth had at West Monroe High School must have had a lot of cane on it because when he do-popped me that first time, everything went none.

He hit me so hard. You know what though? You and a big old boy, though. But you know what? I deserved it, too. I knew when I went in there, I said, they don't got the kid. They done got me, son. Coach Ainsworth about five, eight, maybe.

Oh. And let me tell you, he got a little crowsy. row hop. I saw that shadow coming. I said, let's go hurt. I can't see. He was ex-military probably. He was full-time football coach and assistant principal, so whatever he was. He probably did some time in the military.

Mr. Stokes got me, and he's the opposite of 5-8. He was 6-8, I think, and just everybody's scared of him because he's huge. Yeah. And he hit me with that paddle, and I was like, that didn't hurt. And it took a second, and once the sting came into play,

I was like, I'm never sitting down again. Oh, yeah. Oh, that sounds like Colts Hicks. He was 6-8, about 390. Big Oaf, cousin. Oh, yeah, he does 390. Yeah, when he grabbed by the neck, it was like this. You go off the ground.

Come with me, young man. Yes, sir. Well, we talk about this like it was 100 years ago. Oh, no. Yeah. Well, I remember that it was five minutes ago. It was way back to 1900, Joe. Oh, no, technically.

I guess mine would have been about year 2000 because I was a junior. So it would have been right around the turn of the millennium. The whole world didn't end. Our computers didn't crash. How times than how people have changed? Oh, what are you talking about? Every morning we would say the pledge of allegiance. Everybody would stand up, put your hand over your heart, say the pledge,

and then the teacher would say a prayer, and then we'd start our day. And if you did something bad, there were consequences. Oh, have times changed. have they changed yeah or the or the worst that was the only time I got paddled but I bare crawled enough to peel all the skin off my hands to do another stupid crap but when the teachers would just tell the coaches and not go to the other route

because they knew whatever the coaches did would be worse than going down there and getting a couple of licks coach bristow would put you in the long jump pit and just tell you start jumping in the sand until you threw up or he got tired of watching you and he could watch that for a really long either that or put you in the circle Oh, no. Coach Sal was a big believer put you up under that shoot.

Oh, yeah, in a cage? It was a cage, but it was all square tubing. So if you come up a little early, your bell rung for. Oh, yeah, yeah. And you just kept, you kept. What was it? It's like a cage for offensive linemen. But what you did when you got in trouble, you know, it had five slots.

So you'd take on people inside the cage. Okay. Teach you stay low. But when you got in trouble, you had to bear crawl all the way through that thing. You go in, out, in, out. And you best not stop when you got to that other end. You just snaked your way through it, bear crawling the whole time. And if you stood up, don't doing.

I mean, just ring your hell. And the whole time, he's just berating you. Just yelling. And you're saying, I don't want to end up back here. But, you know, hey. That's why I just, it's my opinion. But that's why we were good. Most coaches did some military time.

Or they wanted to. Yeah. It was their second man. Maybe that's where the Army got it from. I don't know. Yeah. But I think you see the ones that run their program like the military are successful. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. I would say that Alabama football is an equivalent to a military institution. It's my way or the highway. But even the military, the discipline has changed dramatically over the years. And speaking of the military side, I got a good friend of ours. He just happens to come through town Who is an expert on such things That we might get a chance to talk to him today

He's been in what for 30 years 30-something years He retired after 30 years In-9 I was talking to him like he was an E3 When he was duck hunting with us I had no idea He was in charge

You was in charge of him? I was the E-9 that day Yeah you was the E-9 In-charged of the outfit, boy And when we got done They said you know he's an E-9 I'm like what I don't apologize to him, I said, J.R.

I ain't going to apologize to you. What was your rank, side? Mine was E7. You almost made it there. Well, no. No, I had one problem that, hey, with my problem, you're not going to make EA to E. That mouth? The mouth.

He's a little lippy. He's a little lippy. Same thing that got you in trouble with Chubby Charles. Hey, I'm like old Cleeney's Wood in the movie. A man's got to know his limitations. Okay, I know my limitations. Okay. I would have not made,

I probably didn't even make a good E7, but I know good and well I wouldn't make it good E8 or E9 because you've got to be political. Yeah. And I'm not political. And plus you've got to be smart enough to know when to shut your mouth and just listen and say, okay, yeah. And we all know that filter, bingo.

I know, though. That's been gone, broke, whatever. May it not even come in the book. box. It may not even been there to begin with. Oh, Lord, well, let's take a break. We'll be back right after you. Let's do it. All right, look, springtime is here. It's warming up.

You know what that means. That means more outside cooking. And y'all know, we love to eat beef around here. And that's what, because of our friends over at Triedells beef makes such a good product, baby. Ain't it good? It's so good. Our friend, Sall Robertson would say,

buy on the grill! Look, before we got Triedails, getting ready for a cookout, man, I had to run the grocery store, do all the things, grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day. And you never really know where that beef comes from. But with Tritails beef, we skip the grocery store and do it a different way. Tritels comes from a family ranch out in Texas. They're a fifth generation American ranch. So they've been at it for a while.

Now, look, the beef comes straight from their ranch and other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way. Their steaks are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door. we threw a couple of ribbys on the grill. Look, salt, pepper, garlic, hot fire, that's all you need. Look, because I tell you what, when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living, you can taste the difference.

The tenderness and the flavor are fantastic. So if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season, go check out Trial's beef. I know in size case Christine loves it, which is just a, she doesn't eat meat. She isn't a big meat easier, folks. Yeah. Just go to trybeef.com slash.

That's tribeef.com slash. support ranch families and eat some dang good steak. Put those headphones on, J.R. I'm going to talk to you like you in E3. It don't matter now. He isn't his younger. He's a little bit better when I was at E3. He's retired now, isn't he?

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. So he's just a civilian. Yeah. Yeah, so you talk to him however you want to. Oh, that's right. Now, looking at him, I recommend it being kind. Oh, yeah.

He's still in pretty good shape. He's in pretty good shape. But he was in the Air Force, so the PT standards are not. Yeah, they ain't what you used to be. No, no. Whenever you boys are ready to go run, we can go run. No, I ain't going to run with you. Whenever you're ready.

No. You see me running, get your gun ready, and shoot what's chasing me. I swore off at running. He always ended up out of breath. I never understood the appeal. No, no, no. Here's the first thing on the military. Okay.

This ought to be good. I don't know about the Air Force. Well, hey. Introduce who's. This is the first. Let's introduce who sat beside you there. We introduced him for us. All right.

What was your rank, J.R.? I was the Chief Master's Army. That's right. The Air Force. We got it right. Okay. Chief Master's Sergeant. So we got J.R.

Lider here with us today, special guest. He's famous in West Texas and East, Georgia. That's a big gap. I didn't know I was saying. Hey, I covered a lot of certiorgio. I'll take that. But retired, how many years they are? I did 30 years.

30 years, 30 years, retired, chief master sergeant. Is that right? That's right, Chief Master Sergeant. That's the highest rank you can obtain. In the Air Force. In the Air Force. NCO. NCO.

NCO. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we're back to what I was going to say. Okay. The military's, I don't know. about the Air Force. I'm speaking only Army. Yeah. The military's program, okay, PT program in the Army stinks to high heaven.

Okay, because, hey, I run five miles every day, five days a week. It never got me in shape. So something is wrong with their PT program. Yeah, it had nothing to do with it. Winston's. Yeah, it didn't have to do with them cigarettes. No, no, no, even if you smoke, I don't know. If you smoke, I don't know. If you spoke to the cart today. If you run five miles every day for five days a week, you should be able to run five miles and don't even break a sweat. How far could you run right now?

Right now, I can't run nowhere. Sometimes I think it's got to do with what you do after you run those five miles. Uh-oh. What did you do after you ran the five miles every day? Right, not much. That's the story of my life. Hey, I never did. too much when I did a little better thing.

He found a place. He found a place, took a nap, had him a breathing treatment. Oh, I'm probably the only person in the military that got an hour nap in every day regardless of what was going on. Continuous or? Yeah, oh no. If it's at war or whatever, peace timing

don't make a difference. Hey, when this boy gets tired, I'm going to find me somewhere to get a nap. So I had sigh and stone beam in in the middle of COVID to talk to all of our airmen during the award ceremony, right? This was a big deal for everybody.

And everybody tuned in, and all side did was tell them how to take a nap for an hour every day. You think they got it figured out? And look, I imagine they really enjoyed it. Because hey, look, you know, you're talking about unsung heroes, okay? Military people that serve. Oh, they ain't unsung around here. Well, I know, but most of, you know. A lot of places they are, but not around here.

No. But they just, you know, they do not get the credit. And his wife is sitting right over her. She's a servant, too, okay? Oh, 100%. Okay, he served and so did she. Okay, because she had to take care of all the business while he was out taking care of all the soldiers and everybody else.

So I'll actually brag on her just a little bit. Not only does she take care of me, but she served 23 years herself. So she retires the E-7, Master Sergeant of the Air Force as well. Look, there. First and foremost, thank both of you for serving our nation. And I know she don't have a microphone, but does it make you feel any better that you and Cy were the same rank? She was probably a better E-7 than I was.

Okay. So, yeah. Oh, I'm going to go ahead and remove probably from that. She probably could say no or yes, okay. Yeah. instead of running in my mouth. Something tells me they put you at E7 so they wouldn't have to fool with you.

No, no. Hey, look, and I really believe this. I was actually a secret agent for the Army. No, no, I'm serious. Because you've got to understand something. I drove all the way here today for this. Oh, yeah.

No, no, no, because you got to understand something. Who were you spying on the Army? No, no. Me and about 30 other E-7s. Okay, we're stationed at Europe, okay, at 200 Tamsi, okay, which is supply, you know, for Europe, you know, and the world, really. But anyway, all 30 of us, I was, you probably won't believe this, but I was in the top 5%. Not physically.

Army-wide and supply, my job. I was in the top 5% Army-wide, okay. So, me and these 30 guys that I know, okay, We all went to the same schools and all this stuff. We're at 200 Tamsie. Okay, I'm in the operational sale, okay? So here comes the promotion list. They're all saying, hey, did you get your E8?

And I said, no, I didn't make it. And they said, wait a minute, whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you talking about? You didn't make it? I said, I didn't make it, guy. Yeah, well, all 30 of them did. Mm-hmm. But look, if they had promoted me to E8,

they would have had to move me out of my job that I was doing. The reason I'm saying that I was actually a secret agent is they kept, look, I had been to this place, the first time I went,

I had been there three days, me and a lieutenant colonel and a GS-12 just head-to-head clash, boom! And every, you know, the first day, I'd been there three days, and we, boom,

it's a blow up. You know. So my life was miserable for the first three years of that tour. Well, guess what? The next time I get ordered to Germany, it's the same place, the same division. You know, after this happens about five or six times, and every time I go there, I'm in trouble as soon as I get there,

why would you keep sending me back if I'm just trouble? So what? But I was told by the NCOs above me, okay, that, hey, I busted a smuggling ring over there that was selling all of our equipment worldwide. Okay, they said I broke it up because, hey, I'm doing all the paperwork on this stall of stuff we got. And look, when I come up missing 10 of something, you're going to have to give me an answer of what happened to them 10 items. So I kept asking them, hey, Then that's how the ring got busted up.

I kept asking questions, and finally somebody said, oh, well, I know what happened to it. It's being stole by this gang of thieves that are, you know, worldwide. Secret agent. Secret agent. Breaking up international crime.

No, hey, that's the reason they did promote me to E8 or E9, not only that, but because I wouldn't have made a good E8 or E9. He'll vouch for this. You have to be political. if you're in the E8 or E9 position. Uh-oh. Uh-oh.

Well, I'm not even going to go there, but what I will say is that. Oh, I can see that look on his face. It was somewhere between I ain't answered this and I just smelled a fart. But it was, it wasn't good. I tried to put you on the spot. He's trying to back me in the corner, but I'm not going to let him. He ain't going to let him. I'm not going to let him.

That's why he made he 8 and E-9. There's a reason he made 30 and you made 24 and a half. Yeah, 24 to a half. Hey, oh, they didn't be a favor by kicking me out. Okay. They didn't know it at the time, but they did do me a favor by kicking me out. They did you a big favor. Oh, man, alive.

Good grief. Secret agent. Because if truth be known, I should have actually did time. I'd love to know the truth. No, no. I'd love to know the truth. That's a loaded phrase. Hold on.

Hey. Truth be known. So you're saying you should have done time. Oh, yeah. Okay. Well, let's talk about time. They got a thing that's called insubordination. That would have been putting it mildly with some of the stuff I got away with.

Okay. They figured out it was cheaper to keep you there. Well, I guess. There you go. I guess. Oh, man. Well, let's take a break. We'll be back right after this.

I want to hear J.R. Tell his version of what it was like to go hunt. hunting with us for the first time. That's what I want to hear. This ought to be good. Me and Saeve told the story before, but truth be told. I don't know if you can handle the truth.

Oh, he's not going to handle the truth. He's not going to warn him. I don't know if you can handle the truth about the hunting story. Tell us about not this year's veterans. Because all we did this year was look at the sky and eat tartar burgers. Well,

I would tell you about the hunt this year, but Si had stood us up. He decided to not. I had some one in the calendar and I don't know how. We all missed it. Everybody missed it. Well, we had fun. Even though we didn't kill a duck this year.

Well, Sae ain't been duck hunting in 2020 yet. I don't blame him either. Yeah. Even though. Look, I did listen. That's a shocker of all shock because he said, hey, he called me and said, hey, what about?

And I said, well, what do you think? He said, look, if it was up to me, I wouldn't even come up. come tomorrow. There you go. You finally wouldn't. Oh, hey, I just said, okay, I won't be there. Finally wouldn't be an insubordinate.

Every day he would call and I'd check in with him say, well, did y'all kill anything? He said, no, we ain't killed nothing. I said, well, I won't be there tomorrow either. Well, that way I missed about half of this year's season. Okay, I didn't go about a month. Ah, anyway. There wasn't a duck to be found this year.

Let's hear J.R.'s version of the Veterans Hut. Last year, though, last year was the beginning. time though it was it was a good time so um yeah i remember matt made me call and went hey hey man stone's got an opportunity for us do some veterans hunt you know down in down down down with the guys and size going to go out with us and you know we go all excited and then you called me back and you went hey i got an extra spot you got somebody and i went i got 11 000 people that would come down there and hunt right but i called the major remember major john oh yeah major john came down with retired marine corps ever him side yeah i remember the first thing you told him that he blew a duck on one

time. Hey, put the thing in pocket. Don't ever take it out again. I don't care if you are a major. So Jay got us out there, loaded us up in this blind. And, you know, we got out there and getting into that blind was actually a little bit harder than I thought it was going to be. I mean, we went out there and the hole to get in there wasn't no bigger than a little dog door. Oh, yeah, you got to go shoulder. Shoulder by shoulder.

Welcome to my life. I had to get down on my belly and low crawl in there. You know, Phil does that on purpose. He made some doors like that because he likes it. because he likes watching Godwin and Barton try to get through that little door. Then we're pulling chairs and gear through there. Throw tip on that. Next time you go, if you'll put your butt in first, it's way easier.

Yeah. Get up there, turn around, jump up on the door, and then you can shimmy in there, and you're good to go. Oh, yeah, that's how you do it. Gobbing, though, he just kind of, he just, y'am, boom. We were low crawling trying to get through that door. Oh, yeah. All that gear in there.

Sometimes you've got to watch that for that raccoon feces. Yeah. low crawler. Maybe the raccoon themselves. I ain't trying to hijack the story before we go. Why does a raccoon crap on the inside of the door when he could turn his butt around and then drop in the water? They get credit. Must be related to Curledon.

Uh-oh. That might see. That's going to hijack the story. Well, hey. That's a good story for us to tell later. Go ahead. Jay-R. I'm sorry.

So we all got out there in the blind that morning, right? And we're pulling all that gear in that little bitty door. We're trying to get everybody in there. There was, what, seven of us, I think? Yeah. There were seven of us that all got in that blind. And then Jay, Jay leaves, and as soon as he leaves the blind, the major gets his calls out, right?

Yeah. I went to go get the boat. Yeah? Because it was time to go. We were going in for a little lunch. And I heard that duck call crank up. And I looked, they had a couple of mallards working. But I'll be honest with us.

It didn't sell nothing like a duck. Well, the major was a wailing on it. Oh, man. He was. He was wailing on it. He was wailing on it. He was, so I called J.R. And I said, hey, tell whoever's blowing that call,

they need to put it in their pocket if they want to kill anything. Just so happened to be a major in the Marine Corps, old square jaw, devil dog. But we went back out that afternoon, right? We went back out that afternoon. We was all in there. We was all in there. And the major pulled out his call and he started to blow.

And Jay looks down the blind at him right in the eyes, and he goes, you can stop blowing that call. And the major was like, you don't want me to call no more? And Jay was like, no. You don't want me to call on? That's always an uncomfortable thing, man. I don't care. And the whole line, just went quiet for a minute to watch and see what was going to happen.

That's Phil's favorite line. Phil's lying on that one, he don't want to hurt nobody. You'll get on them gadwall calls. Yeah, yeah. If you ever hear Phil, it gets, drink whistle, drink whistle. That means, quit blowing you, Doc. You know, Jay's does that now, too. He says, y'all, y'all, y'all quit blowing them matter to hearing calls.

Then he'll go, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Yeah, oh, yeah. And he'll crank down on it. Yeah, that's the... But it was, man. But you get off easier talking about a man's woman. Oh, yeah. And his duck calls.

Or his dog. Or his dog. Talk about the duck calling or the dog. Yeah. That major, he probably looked at your little cross-eyed, too, didn't he? Oh, yeah. Yeah. He was not happy with Jay.

I will tell you this. I was a little bit nervous, but I was going to stand firm on that. How many feet was in between you and him? Oh, he was at the other end of the blind. Oh, yeah, I'd stand firm too, too, too, but. He had a long way to go to get to you. He had the belly crawl all the way down there to get to you. Yeah, you got time to move, man.

The rule is, if you don't sound like a duck, don't blow the call. That's the rule. But some people have to be told. You notice he looked at me when he said that? Yeah, and you can tell Major John, I'll tell him when I see him, I'm not going to apologize because he didn't sound like a duck. We do the same thing, Uncle's eye. He breaks that matter

And he'd call out And guess what Look down the other end of the blind Say, say, sigh You need to put that in your pocket I'm going to tell you though I'm going to tell you so There was a duck that was shot down on the left end

There was a duck shot down there in the morning On the left end and my brother Matt claimed that duck Right Now to this day Matt Matt has never shot a duck in his life He thinks he has but he's never shot a duck for him He got the same problem I got Blaming

I think I know the shot you're talking about No no no It was a 75 yards shot left or right on a gap right the left yeah left i already know who's going to claim no i saw it i saw the footage of it the major the major clip that done john shot him yes he did it was no doubt the footage the camera was right behind it i was actually going to give credit to side well no no i don't want matt to have no matt no matt was raised up okay i did kill him Matt claimed.

But I remember the one that John killed. Oh, yeah, it was a shot. That was a long shot. He might not could blow a duck call, but the man can shoot. And that's how you know he can't blow a duck call. That's right. If you can shoot him at 80, you ain't getting them real close to. He hit that Mallard over the top of us in the afternoon.

Oh, yeah. That was passing from behind us. He hit that. Oh, he shot that one too? Oh, yeah. Oh, he's a shotgunner. This is in John's defense. you know you know don't feel bad john okay

according to the people in the blind when you hunt with the robbersons okay there ain't but two people maybe three okay that can call duck that'd be Phil Robertson Jason Robertson and I'll include stone in that the rest of them it wouldn't make any difference who what their resume was according to Phil and Jason Robertson no one else can call

Yeah. Oh, you aren't right about that. It's something that they rub off on me. I'll be the first to admit it. So I'll tell you. Same. Same. Same. You ought to try telling the landowner to shut up. You want to talk about it. I'm the only one that can tell them.

You want to talk about it get weird. Yeah, I'm the only one that can tell them and get away with it because my last name is Robertson. Hey, both of them are full up. When you go places and you tell the boy that's paying a note on the place, hey, put that duck call up. That takes a special kind of friends up there. I bet you had to phrase that just right.

Yeah, I generally just, when he knows when I quit blowing, it ain't working. But let's all get quiet. You know, then I'll start easing back in there. It's getting to the point that, hey, you'd be better off to leave your duck all at the house. Easy now. We still got to sell them things. He didn't mean that. He didn't mean that.

He meant buy more of them. You need to buy more of those. Yeah, you need different tones. That's what he meant. side yeah don't be saying stuff like that okay in other words y'all tell them about any practice okay no in other words i'm telling you stay out of the business oh okay okay okay hey you can't kill ducks without duck calls you retired we ain't oh it helps oh it gets them from 40 to 20 all right you know but anyway well yeah jr we appreciate you stopping by man that's a good time right hold on before we wrap it up one more thing what you got i would jr tell us about what y'all got going with uh with the veterans hunt up north

Yeah, I'm interested in that. Yeah, so Major John runs Camp Vowler Outdoors. It's a nonprofit where he brings together veterans and connects them through things in the outdoors. He helps the ill, injured, and wounded veterans. And, you know, I wanted to pitch in to help him out. So we're going to put together a veteran's pheasant hunt, raise a little bit of money up in Emory, South Dakota this year,

invited stone and sigh to come up. Hey, I've been there. You need to do that. No, no. I've hunted right there around this. I volunteer for that. That is good. That is good, good pheasant hunting up there.

And we've got a four-star lodge up there. Everything is included, so we're looking for some folks to sponsor some vets and take them out hunting. That's awesome. Yeah, no, I've been there. You're going to enjoy that. That's a really cool part of the world. And, Sa, you're going to like it. Well, I fix that.

In South Dakota, if the pheasant is running down the road, you can whack it. I'm going to tell you. Running right down the middle of the road. That's just common sense. Peasant hunting is truly a gentleman's sport. You get breakfast at 8 o'clock, the guide picks you up at 945. You got your limit and you're back in for lunch by noon. The one time I went, it was blowing snow and blowing sideways.

It was anything but gentlemen's, but it show was fun. It was a lot of fun. That's the one because I've seen one on television. It's where they line up a bunch of guys and they walk through a field, and it's usually snow covered. Uh-huh. Okay, and then you got a bunch of guys at the end of this field with shotguns. That's if they slick you.

And they shoot them as they come. I'm over. I'm looking, okay, and they got the dogs and the people walking through, and there are literally, when I say thousands, there are literally thousands of festivals giving up. We got to figure it out. We're going to put you on the back of a golf cart, and they're going to put it in reverse. Yep.

And they're going to back you. You're going to have your shotgun ready. We're just going to back you through the weeds. When the pheasasets get up, you shoot them. No, put Sire on the end. Put him as a blocker. Put him as a blocker. He'll make that shot on the ones that get away.

You can't put him in the field. He's going to try to shoot him right off the end of gun barrel. Then the people of South Dakota is going to judge. You hard. They got to let them get away from them. They frown upon that get up, boom. Oh, do they? Oh, this is traditional.

You got to have a, you got to be a gentleman on them. You got to let him get up. You got to be a gentleman. That's why I said, get on the end where you ain't got to walk. It ain't near his aggravate. Be a blocker. By the way, this is the same major that we were talking. about earlier with the duck call awesome awesome guys as far as serving other humans and uh he does a lot

a lot for our vets you know the best news about fuzzin hunting though what's that ain't no call you ain't got to worry about the major things won't get weird with the major kick him up and shoot them all oh well that's awesome camp what's the name camp valor it's camp valor outdoors they're out of uh holding uh Missouri okay they have a website do you know or yep uh Campera Outdoors, they're on Facebook, and I think they got a dot-org as well. Perfect. We'll put it in the show note.

All right, man, we'll see. We'll be back right after this. Did you know Willie's afraid of cotton balls? Cotton balls? Willie is a cottonball phobia. Huh. And I told Kaye, I said, I bet you it has to do with a nurse.

A nurse snuck up behind him and had to cotton ball over the needle and then popped him with a shot. Pop them. Oh, speaking of cotton balls. I saw something the other day. I think it's going to be the next big thing. Next big thing. This guy was putting cotton ball.

He was standing behind the table. I walked around the corner of my seven-year-old daughter was watching this. Putting cotton balls in his ears, doing his mouth like this. And the next thing you see is another guy standing across the table doing this. Slapping him? Slap content. Liding him up, open-handed. He had cotton balls in both ears.

and he come back, I'm talking about, and popped everything he had, slapped him in the face, and it knocked the dude out, smooth. They had catchers back behind him. Just slapping each other? He knocked this guy out with the flat. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Slap fights is what they called. No, I mean, knocked him out cold.

You never slapped anybody? No, I don't slap him. Have you seen that? People don't slap me. Big old boys, too. I mean, big boys. Hold on. You hit me with a broom handle or a hammer.

Don't open it. These guys would take turns until somebody got knocked out. No, no, that's why I was asking. And you saw me this is something that's fixing to catch on? Oh, yeah, it's going to catch on. Like the UFC. I got to watch it. I couldn't quit watching it.

It just. There really isn't a bigger sign of disrespect, though, to somebody. You know what you were to open palm. The human being is losing it. No, it's bingo. Yeah. They ain't losing. But I mean, when you slap people for fun,

oh, let's. Oh, hey, go ahead and knock me out. Yeah, see if you can find it. Show it. Oh, my goodness. There's like 60,000 people watching. It's like a stadium. Oh, yeah.

Oh. But they have faults and all kinds of things in that mess. Oh, yeah. You can't flinch. Yeah. Like, if you move your head, if you don't just stand there and take it, you get slapped again. Oh, oh, look at this old boy.

Oh! Look at sigh Look at his face Cy, are you ready to join the tour? You people have lost y'all flipping man He started combing his beard

After he got slapped To prove what a man he is And that was to get the saliva out of it Oh that's big boy There's weight classes Oh yeah Heavy weights I think I got women doing it too

Yeah Yeah there was a woman She was sitting there Fixed it yeah Uh-uh obscure sports somebody this is on the Ocho

yeah they come on right after whoa I thought you don't want a fool that gal I love showing I'm sorry

she was standing there and I slept her and all she did was just a little bit this and I mean she was it was full fours

and all it would do like this oh yeah and then she said now it's my turn they should start doing that in UFC just a little

yeah A tie-breaking. The human race, I'm telling you, boys, hey. What's wrong with them? We're fixing to go extinct. Oh, they got that. How did we get here? Could you believe that?

I mean, that's the sport now. There you're ears from the cotton balls. And then told me, well, he's out. So Willie's out if you got to put cotton balls. Yeah, we just learned that Willie, the man who's been the meanest to me in my whole life is afraid of cotton. Like, he don't want it going in his ears or he don't like seeing him? He don't like, No, no, no, he's got a touch.

So, like, if we just start putting random ones in his truck and stuff like that. Next time he's in this room, I'm just going to throw him at him, the entire just, just one of the time. No, no, no, the film crew, he was always climbing with him, fooling with him and doing pranks on them. Yeah. Well, they finally got him back because they brought like a wash tub. Of cotton balls. Yeah, of cotton balls and poured all. He just, he freaked out when they poured it on him.

I'm serious. This is what Corey told him. on the podcast. Now, see, that's just dumb. Sorry, boss. That's dumb. If you got a phobia, it's all kind of phobia. If you scare the snakes, okay.

That's a phobia. If you scare the spiders, okay. Scared a wasp, okay. Cotton mow? What's that thing going to do to you? I guarantee you, you trace it back, it's going to be a nurse popped him with a needle, and she hid the needle with a cotton ball.

Yeah, we need to send him to therapy. I need to know. That boy needs to undergo hypnosis. I need to figure out what the cause of that is. He needed therapy for other reasons. I just got bald. It's probably worse. The whole Robertson family needs therapy.

That's you too. Me included. Yeah, I know I need therapy. I just making sure you realized you were still in there. Hey, I know I need therapy. Oh, don't we? I spent 24 and a half years of military. I need therapy just being married to one.

Oh, Lord. Careful. Never at the old moment, boys. People ask my wife, she's like, can you believe John David said that? And she's like, what do he say? She ain't listening. I can say whatever I want on here, and my wife will never hear about it, unless y'all tell. But, yo, when you come to it, when you say, okay, when you say something like, are you normal?

Nope. There's no such thing as much. No, no, especially you. Okay, if it was, I would never want to be that. We can tell. You know what I'm even more thankful of? What? That that isn't normal.

Hey, normal to me would be boring. Okay, that's right. Yeah. So I'm anything but normal, okay, because I'm never boring. I agree. Well, these people in the slap fighting ain't normal because. No, they're insane. I'm trying to, I was like, it must be for a million dollars to just get the crap knocked out of you.

No. Probably for like some Hooters gift cards or something. I mean, I don't. Wait a minute. Wait, right. I looked at it. I'm just saying. Let's see if you can find out what the price.

I saw one. It was 50,000 rubies. Oh, that's Russian. Yeah, which was $700. Hey, wait, I got to say that. I'm going to stand Hooters. I can't understand it. I can't understand it.

I'm going to be right back after this. Before this gets anywhere there, thank you for tune in. This is the Duck Call Room. We love you. Good night. Johnny D. We're in that mailbag. Hello at Duck Call Room.

That's the email address. Johnny D. What's in there? Some people don't know how to email. No. And I'm just going to call out a guy named Cody from Southern Florida who put his entire email in the subject line. Said, hey, I'm Cody from Southern Florida. And I was wondering if you could read this on the podcast.

Also, can you guys get other people on the podcast? Willie Phil, Ms. Kay, and like John Luke, maybe. What's wrong with us? Why? Huh? Did you watch last week? Where are you at? I'm just confused.

on why he wants four other people instead of us. Why he wants variety. Why it was all in the subject line. Anyways. That was his question. Why did you say? I don't know. It was weird.

I'm just telling you. What's the question? That was it. We get weird emails. Oh. That's my point. I got it. And I read all of them.

Anyways, um, relationship advice from Pace. Uh-oh. Hello, my name is Pace. And I would like advice on this subject. I have had feelings for this girl for a couple years and I asked her out. But her parents said she can't date till college. What do y'all think I should do? I think you need to hit up Willie on that one.

That sounds like I've heard that story before. Can't date till college. Then you just got to wait. Huh? I mean, it's up to her. I don't know. I'd probably quicken up the pace. Yeah.

I was sick of saying. Me and their parents would not get along. That's code for, they don't like you. We don't like you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if you figured this part of it out,

but her parents ain't digging. This is her parents. You think so? Yeah. What is the right age to let your daughter death? My daughter's three. Yeah. So that's too young.

16. 16. If you're going to send her out there with the power of a vehicle, then she's earned the right to date. I mean, she's there. That's good. You know, as long as you've raised them, right? and everything's respectful.

But in theory, I mean, the young man should be coming to pick her up and have a strict curfew and all that. But, yeah, I mean, I'd say mid-teens is a good time to start. Well, do you all agree with me on this? What? This is not a young lady. This is a parent problem. Yeah, no.

I mean, he was doing a super, like, what's the word, chivalrous thing by asking the parents? No, he didn't ask. He asked her out, and the parents said, ah. Oh, well, she may be straight lying to you, bro. Oh, that sounds like a likely story. My mom said not. You should go talk to the parents.

Yeah, then ask them. Well, I was thinking the same way you was. Sweep the parents off their feet. Yeah. If he could take her out. I asked her out, but her parents said she can't date till college. However, how old is he? How old is he?

Do we know? He's pace. He's pace. I mean, but if the girl is like 12 or 13, obviously the dad's response probably, no, she ain't dating till college. He's old enough to have an email. Well, that doesn't mean nothing. You've got to have an email for a Nintendo Switch account.

We ain't getting a full story here. Update. Pace, we need more information. We need more information. Pace, email is in with your age. Also, I want you, but I want you to go talk to there. If you're 12, I especially want you to go talk to her parents. But if you're 16, I also think it would be, you got to go, you got to be a man, go up and say,

hey, I know y'all don't want this, but here's why I'm telling you, you do. But pace, I'm just going to be honest with you. My gut says that that was her way of saying no without it being her saying. Which, look, this is not going to be the first time you hear no in your life. Yes, right. So pick yourself up by the bootstraves and keep on trucking. That's fine. She may say yes in two years.

You don't know, but just keep on trucking. You start at the top of the totem pole and work your way down. Or you start to bother them or work your way up. Which other way you want to do it, buddy. All right, what's that? Hey, what's that? Christian girlfriend, advice. Okay, yeah.

I just knew on this, me and the prayer to figure to have a big problem here. Okay, because if she's caught my eye and I'm interested in her, just a little bit about, well, hey, you don't go. We just need, we're missing key information in this story. And if she doesn't work out, my friend. Like most relationships like that between a female and a male,

uh-oh. Oh, boy. You don't want to say, okay, hey, you can't do this. Oh, we are Romeo and Juliet thing. Yeah, okay. This is one of them deals at, uh-oh, wait a minute. You've maybe, you know, made this worse than it was by saying, no. Moving on before we get too far down this.

But my friend Jake in high school. There we go. Shout out to my friend Jake. He did tell me once after a girl turned me down. He said, well, you got to lower your standards to up your average. So. Might be something you need to look. Maybe there's some truth, didn't it?

You know? That's my buddy. He's a duck hunter. He's a good guy. Anyways. Colin, 25 from Milwaukee, Wisconsin. He's Christian girlfriend. We're just staying in relationships today, boys.

He grew up, read the Bible, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Went to church. Anyways, I haven't been the best Christian. And I am doing things I know is a sin. That's a good step, just saying it out loud. I know I need to change, but I'm not sure how to because of my girlfriend. We've been dating for two years,

and we both know we're going to marry each other. She does believe in God and was raised in church. She's non-denominational, yada, yada, yada. Let's just say we're both long from God and need to change. I kind of have a fear of bringing up the conversation of being more godly because of what she'll think of it. How do I get myself to do it and get, I'm going to say, get our relationship to be more godly without the fear.

Without the fears, she may not like it or take it seriously. Dun, dun, done. That's a lot to unpack. Loaded. Yeah, so, okay, I had to read that. But basically, 25. 25. So they're about to get married, sounds like.

He realizes they're going down a path. He doesn't lie. But he wants to be with her, but he wants to veer both him and her back to God. well yeah i'm proud of you're the only way she's going to get there probably so that's a good thing i would say 25 years old if the problem is what i'm thinking it is i'm not going to assume anything just go ahead and ask her to marry you yeah that was advice i was going to get put a ring on her hand because you're old enough now to i mean 25 i mean i think i had one kid 25 did you yeah i had one at 27.

And you said something, okay, that takes me down this way. You said, we're doing things we know are wrong. You're talking about, well, how do I change this? Well, you've got to stop doing things you know that are wrong first. Yeah, and the recognition of wrong is the first. You've done that. You've recognized you're doing things that you know are wrong. But if you go ahead and ask her to marry you,

then you're going to have to go ask somebody to perform the ceremony. Odds are they're going to say, that's fine, but you're going to have to go through counseling with us first. There is your way in to get into a more godly relationship, because they're going to give you, in theory, if they're a minister at a church, they're going to go through some steps of Christian marriage counseling with you. My advice, pay very close attention during those.

classes. Do not brush them off because you know what when you're sitting back there a year later saying man this marriage is tough we need counseling and they go through the same steps they did to you in the premarital you're like oh yeah I probably should have listened to what they were saying you know I'm speaking from experience here guilty like so that is your first step on getting back towards God in my opinion is just go ahead pop the question do the things and go somebody that's going to perform the ceremony don't go to Vegas don't don't listen to Elvis like I mean it's cool I mean I get it's been on TV but you know get you a real minister get you somebody that's going to care about you in your life and I'll invest in you yeah and that's going to start your path

towards but if your marriage is going to work and I've also noticed when we take our eyes off of God we struggle in our marriage so like as long as we're both moving and striving towards same thing everything's great. But you'll get relaxed or redundant. You know, you'll just get complacent in a lot of things. And when that happens, you start having problems. You're like, oh, oh, time out, time out. Let's get the first thing back the first.

And then we'll go there. I think you hit the point, okay, is the starting point. You're saying, okay, hey, look, if you know, marrier, okay. And then like you're telling me, you got to get somebody to marry you. So they're going to take you, we got to go through counseling first. Mm-hmm. So there's your starting point. But you're going to have to set the example.

I mean, that's biblical. That's right. That's biblical. The husband. Because it is God's institution we're talking about. Yeah, absolutely. Okay. Marriage is God's institution.

And if you're wanting to get married, that shows me right there. You have a faith in something other than yourself. If not, you just shack up. Call it good. You don't have to get married. You know, whatever. But you are the head of the household once this happens, And the only way you're going to get her there is if she follows you.

So you got to lead. That was good. Martin. Bringing the heat, man. Good work. Hey, when you've sucked at it as much as I have, you know. I mean, I'm just telling you. You're talking about recognition.

That's worth that. Oh, I'm telling you. Like, you know, I have been a downright failure sometimes in that area. Like, I mean. Oh, hey, don't feel like a long ranger. No. You ain't by yourself, but. Hey.

Hey. It doesn't bother me to admit it either. Me and my wife had it figured out, so we didn't need that premarital counseling. Yeah. I recommend like every five years you go for a little redose of marriage counseling anyway in case you become blind to some thing. Do something. Go hit it for a couple of months. They ain't going to hurt you nothing.

I mean, it hurts your pocketbook for a little bit, but, you know, that's an investment into your marriage. We just did a whole retreat with a bunch of other people and talk about, hey, let's make sure we're on the right track. That's exactly right. And, yeah, I think that's all great advice that you gave them there. Get married, man. Absolutely. We're telling you to pop the question. It's fantastic.

Somebody wrote a song about it. Put a ring on it. Uh-oh. I don't you like it, didn't he shit up? All right. What's our Bible verse, Johnny, dude? Sorry. Oh, oh.

That got weird. Okay. I'm sticking with the theme. I've been sticking with 2. Samuel 22, 2 through 4. He said, the Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer. My God is my rock in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation. He is my stronghold, my refuge, and my savior from violent people, you saved me. I called to the Lord who is worthy of praise and have been saved from my enemies.

People, the Lord is your rock. Amen. Make him that. Amen. We'll see y'all next time right here in the duck call room. Shout out to our friend J.R. for joining us. Absolutely. Yeah.