Duck Call Room - Uncle Si Was Approved for Lung Surgery!

Episode Date: June 14, 2022

Si gets a surprise call from Houston that puts him one step closer to breathing easy. Martin warns that T-shirts with pockets aren’t just dumb — they’re dangerous. Godwin returns from his beach trip with sage advice about what to do when someone pees in the pool. Si recalls surfing with a sea turtle in Hawaii and a close encounter with an army of one-armed crabs. John-David gets the boys to give their best wedding advice to a listener. And Si runs a hilarious cost-benefit analysis on a fan’s relationship. - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

But it doesn't say t-shirt. Pocking on dress shirt, nice. Pocking on T-shirt, dumb. What are you talking about? No. What's you going to put there? Huh? Stuff.

Whatever I have. Lemon packets? A check. A check. A check. You know you put that in your back pocket. What? No, I put it here.

That is, that pocket ain't big enough to hold your shirt. Oh, yeah. That is interesting. Pocket on a T-shirt as valuable as a pocket on a button down. No, button downs. Where's that? I'm not against... Button down.

I ain't much on buttoned down. I like pockets. The more pockets you have, the better. That's that? You don't have to wear a backpack. Yeah, I like pocketback. I respectfully disagree. I like pockets.

You don't want pockets on a button down, but you want it on a piece. You want a pocket to have your pocket knife in? No, I want a pocket on a button down, like a fishing shirt. Yeah. The Columbia PFGs, the Magellans, everybody that makes one of them things. Why do you want a button down? Because I can put my phone up there in it Because it's got a zipper

Oh hey you put your phone in your pocket On your breeches Well no I can't On the t-shirt I can't because I ain't got no rear end To hold my breeches up I put my pocket My bone in my pocket

My pants go to ground Well look I can't have it You got a rear end problem Well I mean it is what it is What it is what it is What it is what it is? A pocket on a cotton t-shirt Oh yeah

No Don't do nothing but give me a raw left nipple That's it Man there you go chest pockets on t-shirts is there anything in that pocket right now no there's nothing in that no but he like good is you know why because then he bends over it would fall out of no but in case i have something to put into it like these oh he's now he's got an airhead in his pocket airhead in his pocket don't don't now you got to watch it though when you bend over be careful you bend over on you get

stabbed yeah falls on your foot you're a man it you're a had a cut nipple instead of just a one that's rub you'd a man that broke a rib getting a coke out of the ice chest. I don't think you want something that sharp at close to your chest. Oh, no, hey, I ain't broke no reel. I cracked two ribs. That's what I said, a rib. I wasn't getting a rib.

I didn't broke a rib. I had such a big crappie, boys. Hey, put him in a cooler. Yeah, to get a Coca-Cola out. I was actually throwing a crappie in there, but I was turned in a bad position. Yeah, I was in my boat. You know, watch positions. It'll pop, pop bones.

According to the innerwebs, the T-R-Words. The inner-web. Pockets on T-shirts arose because of the decline of waistcoats, which I didn't know what that was. A waistcoat. A waistcoat, which is just a vest. So Al doesn't need pockets on T-shirts.

But they got a little pocket, the vest, do. And more and more people started wearing T-shirts as outerwear, so they had to put a pocket on it. So I'm just going to paraphrase what I just. heard. In the 50s and the 60s, people figured out vest wouldn't it. Here we are in the 20s, the 2020s, and Al said, do you know what I need? Bringing it back, baby. T-shirt with a pocket on it. No, he needs a vest. That's why he doesn't need a T-shirt. I will say this. In the order of things that I hate or not dislike, I'm going to put the vest. It's pretty, it's not a,

He's down there. Yeah, but it's a, what's the word? I like them during hunting seeds. They're fine during hunting seeds. Yeah. He's a torso warm. Yeah, during the summer. Yeah, and then your arms are free to move pretty good.

Yeah. But, I mean, if you look at our compadres when you wear one. They look good. A vest, camo. A vest, yeah. It looks good? Oh, yeah. No.

Oh, yeah, it does. Hey, the Cowboys and the Cowboy Day, they had a vest. That's a leather vest. That's tight. Well, I'm talking about, hey, they look spiffy. Yeah, it's not a zipper spandex vest. Well, I mean, I don't know about the spandex vest, you know. Is that the type of owl wears?

It's got to be something because it's stretching. Oh, it's stretching? Oh, okay. You know, we went to. The fabric is always being tested. In other words, on a T-shirt. To the fabrics being testing. Now we're at the spandex, stage.

You just don't understand how much money, Al. He's getting paid to test him fast. That's what it is. We can't make it 20 episodes without bringing up Al Robertson and his vest. I can't help it. They just got back from vacation and they posted all them pictures from the beach. Oh, is he wearing a social media? Yeah, okay.

Maybe he's wearing a waistcoat. I don't know what. Oh, hey, he may have a waistcoat. What's the definition of a waistcoat? But from the ones I've said. A vest. A vest. A sleeveless upper body garment.

A sleeveless upper body garment. A vest. commonly known as the best. But when he was on vacation, what did you do? I sat on the beach with my woman. It ain't the funnest thing to do. No offense, Ms. Paula. But she loves it, therefore I love it.

Well, that's a good man there. You just sat there under your portable shade tree. Yeah, sat under my portable shade tree and watch people. You have a portable shade tree? Well, umbrella. You've got to have that to watch people. That makes sense. I sat in my chair.

You got to have that to watch it. I did get out in the ocean and swam. T-T. T-T. Yeah, that's what most of them do. That's what most of them do. You be watching them. They'll go out there about waist deep and they stop and they fiddle with the water a little bit with their hands.

And they come back in. If I was there, I'd be screaming. Hey, quit being in the water. You're going to have to scream it all day. Yeah, because that's what they do. That's what everybody do. Hey, quit that. At the beach?

Yeah. Are you not supposed to pee in the ocean? No, you can't. No. You ain't supposed to pee in the pool either, but people do. No, you shouldn't pee in the pool. That's a much small body of a lot of water walk. Well, I know everybody just swam around it.

Well, you think the cool range in there, son. Wait, did you just say you can't if you're pregnant? Wait, what? What did you say about peeing in the ocean? You can't, what? I said, swim around it. Swim around it? I don't know.

But that was close. You were close. I thought you said you can't if you're pregnant. Well, I know. My woman can't hear neither. How do you know when there's swim around it? That's when you hit them warm current. Yeah, them warm current.

Oh, the warm current. Oh, it's warm in general. No, this wasn't where I was that. It's cold. It's cold. Where were you? That first little deal. I was down there in the blue water.

He was in the blue water. So you weren't in Alabama? I wouldn't. That's where the big marlin. I went on past that. I went by her. Buckeys. Did you stop? Didn't stop.

No, Paula didn't want. You went by buckies? Let me tell you what. You wouldn't have stopped neither. There was that many people. It was a line on the exit. Uh-oh, it was a line on the exit. There's a reason.

Get in it. The exit was backed up. It wasn't, it wasn't enough to turn off. No, I said, I'm with you. I'd have said. But I was curious about them 159,000 bathroom stalls they got in that thing. You don't have to be. The day was all full.

Well, when they go to the beach, they take the whole crew, don't he? I was trying to see if Al wore a vest on the beach. He didn't. I'm looking at the photos. Yeah, they were supposed to go. They don't never go to the week. Did you leave the country? No, I didn't.

No, he was in Florida. Florida. I know where he was at. I mean, I know the state. I don't know where he was that. I went on a catamaran ride, did you? That was pretty neat. You got one on a what ride?

A what ride? Catamaran. A catamaran? What's the catamemarant? What's the catamorant? It's a boat in three parts, hooked together on top. Like a tritone. Yeah.

Almost. That's a great definition. Had living quarters in the middle one. Those things are smooth. They don't fall out money like the run. No, they just ride. Why is it? They glide.

It's a sailboat. She said they went to Bahamas and that thing, took them 21 days. They get to the Bahamas. Yeah. Why, ain't that fall? She said she figured it'd be two weeks. It is if you start on this side of Florida. It was bad storms and all that.

Yeah. They got caught in Key West. Is there a bunch of seaweed down there right now? That's the rumor. It was. The saragasm weed. Well, the saragosome weed. It was the week four we got there.

Is it gone now? Pretty much. That's good news. Some of it come up in there. Did you catch any fish? I didn't go fish. You didn't buy your fishing pole? I started to, but I kept watching them boys

because I figured out, I've never, now my woman goes to the beach every year. I don't never go. She goes with a bunch of them gals, you know, from church, that church women's group. They can't come home until they've had a good cry, right? Yeah, you can't come home. When you're crying, then you can come on home.

Anyway. Well, that was happening at the meeting, too. The meetings they have, they never over. You hear them. calling and they start walking out the door then. Time to go home, boy. Cried don't go home. I don't know what it is about that.

But anyway, I went down there, she said, now you got to go early and get us, because you got an umbrella and two chairs with your condo. So I went down there to save a spot, you know, and you go down there, and all the men are down there just standing. They're just standing around by this umbrella. This is mine, you know.

Put a towel over it. I put my drink cup over it. I went down there drinking coffee. Put my Yeti over it. And some of them down there fishing, but there ain't nobody catching. They're just fishing. So I'm like, no, this ain't a good spot. So I didn't ever buy my last, I was thought about it.

You should have drug one out the back of that catarline. Because there was sand fleas everywhere. You digging that sand, you find. and some sand flea. But there you go. I didn't see one guy caught a shark and some kind of long fish. Probably barracuda. I don't know what it was.

Probably barracuda. I don't know. It wasn't close enough to see, but I could see. They're like a bullet. It was long and silver. Shape, yep, shape like a bullet. So that's about it. That's it.

But them old boys putting them tent things up. They was pretty handy. They had a four-wheeler and a trailer, and this one guy had a drill. He'd drill in that sand. Other guy stab an umbrella right behind it. They put out about 100 umbrellas in about 15 minutes. Really? And charred.

They was getting it. They had it down pat. But anyway, Beach ain't so much for me, but, hey, you do what your woman wants to do in the summertime. She leaves you alone in the wintertime. That's why I'm headed down there this weekend. That's right. You know. Well, we'll be back right after that.

There you go. All right, look, springtime is here. It's warming up. You know what that means? That means more outside cooking. And y'all know we love to eat beef around here. And that's what because of our friends over at Triedales beef makes such a good product, baby. Ain't it good?

It's so good. Our friend, Sao Robertson would say, buy on the grill! Look, before we got Triedells, getting ready for a cookout, man, somebody had to run the grocery store. do all the things, grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day. And you never really know where that beef comes from. But with Tritails beef, we skip the grocery store and do it a different way. Tritails comes from a family ranch out in Texas.

They're a fifth generation American ranch. So they've been at it for a while. Now, look, the beef comes straight from their ranch and other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way. Their steaks are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door. We threw a couple of ribbys on the grill. Look, salt, pepper, garlic, hot fire, that's all you need. Look, because I'll tell you what, when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living,

you can taste the difference. The tenderness and the flavor are fantastic. So if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season, go check out Triedails beef. I know in size case Christine loves it, which is just a, she doesn't eat meat. She ain't a big meat easier, folks. Yeah. Just go to trybeef.com slash. That's trybeef.com slash support ranch families and eat some dang

good steak. Y'all, when you're on vacation, what best thing you ate while you was down there? You found you some good dinners? I found me some, I ate at this one place. I forget the name of it. But it was like, you went down this road just bumpy everywhere, but that's where all the locals went. And it was out on a pear, rickety old pear.

But you're talking about good. Good. What did you eat? I got some shrimp and I got some. some kind of fish, some Mahi. Got some of that. It was good. That's a green one?

Yeah. I see him. Green and char trees. Maui, wow. Maui, wow. No, that's that stuff you smoked in college. Yeah. No.

Mahi, Mai is good. Dorado. It's got a bunch of different names. I got some sushi one night. That was good. There you go. You's living your best life, wouldn't you? Did you play Put Putt?

No. Godly. Ride a go cart? No. They had some up there look just like them baby NASCAR. Really? Oh, yeah, you got inside it. Oh, my goodness.

You should have done it. But everything was full. I figured after the Memorial Day, everybody would be gone. Not a lot of people. No, the Memorial Day is like, what flag they wave? Oh, green flag at a NASCAR race. A Memorial Day like the green flag. At the end of August 1st, like.

It's a checkered flag. That's when it starts slowing down. It's a daggum hot. You can't stand it down there. Oh, they're flying that red flag on that lifeguard stand a couple of days. Don't get in there? It was an undercurrent. You could feel it, boy.

Really? Well, when you had to get in there to pee. That's right, boys. How much urine is in the ocean? There ain't no time. All of it? All of it eventually makes it there. Yeah.

We've seen Dauphin, seen a shark. You saw a shark? Yeah, bigin. Yeah, he was pretty big. He was on that countering ran. Oh. He came right up under one of them, whatever you call them runners. Really?

Big old thing. You could have caught him. He wasn't as big as that, and we say, remember we went with them boys that done all that free diving? Oh, yeah. But he wasn't that big, but he was a good one. No, but that thing that we saw was a monster. Yeah, and them boys wanted to get in the water with you. Yeah.

No thank you Yeah He was one of them that What a white tip or something One of them that killed all them boys over That had that plane crash over in the Pacific He was the same kind as in Wait

Big old giant thing They were in a plane crash Yeah And then they got eaten by a shark Well their plane went down And then yeah they all got ate by sharks That's a bad day Yeah

Unless you'd a shark I'm just saying How unlucky were you to have a plane crash And then you survive it only to be eaten by a shark. Yeah, but that's the same kind of shark that was out there in the middle of the Atlantic. And then boy said, man, we'd show like to get in the water route. I said, well, let me know how it turns out.

Yeah, I'll drive. Well, you're going to have to if we're going to get home. I ain't got no interest in getting in there with that racer. No. He's big. He took half our tuna from. Things ate you. Yeah, yeah.

You ever been in a wrestling match with a shark? Nope, but I was in the... Virginia Beach in the underground big aquarium they got. And I was, my peripheral vision, all I seen was teeth coming into my peripheral vision and then the rest of it came. You're talking about a killing machine. That is a killer machine. Because did you know if they break a front tooth off, it just automatically what's left,

if any is left, it falls out. and they've got it on a chain and they roll another one into the front and it grows in the back. There you go. They're never without something to eat you with.

No, no. They're never without their teeth. Sharp teeth. They got like three rows of them. Well, I've never heard of a sharp sharp, been called snagled tooth. Hey, and they're at a 45 degree angle. So when, I don't know how to.

How fast the shark swims. Real. But it's fast. If he hits you, you're fixing to lose whatever he hit. Whatever part of the body he hit you on, you lost that. He gone.

Good grief. That is why. When did you go to an aquarium in Virginia? When my son was stationed up there. Okay. Is it a good aquarium? Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, no. If you're there, you need to go. It's like going to a

first-rate, first-class suit. That's the first time he said something that didn't pertain to Alabama, Germany, or Vietnam, or North Carolina. Oh, no, no, but hey, no, it's worth going to see, okay, because they've got it all in the aquarium. The Virginia Aquarium. Hey, I like it.

No, we've seen a sea turtle. Did you? Sure did. Oh, I had one of them come up to my, I was on a surfing board in Hawaii. Good that, Curry. No, no, I'm serious, and it blew my lady, swimmer.

She was there. No, no, she was there to take care of me. Oh. You know, and it blew her mind. She lives in Hawaii and has mightnily lives her life in the ocean. Duck, honesty.

No, no. I'm serious. Hey, look, I'm talking about this sucker was as big as round as this table. And he comes up, I'm like this, petting his head. You petted his head? Oh, yeah. This thing was humongous.

And this lady is just freaking out, What is it with you? Somebody get Christine on the phone to verify this. No, no. And I said, what are you talking about? She said, I've been an ocean all my life and I never had one of the sea turtles come up to my board. It's because we're using paper straws.

You know, and I said, well, hey, look, animals like me. Yeah. They use a whisperer. Yeah. Hey. That's because they know not to fear you. His, his skin felt weird. I don't think you're supposed to touch them.

Well, I couldn't happen. right up against the board against my leg. No, I'm with you out of bed. I was right. People are serious. I was trying to tell you. Easy big guy, easy, yeah. Yeah.

But it literally blew the girl's mind. She was talking about, what is it? Cy was seconds away from making a Disney movie. Oh, no, no, no. He was about to ride that turtle. No, no, that was the coolest thing for that stupid thing, because I'm looking and something's coming up. I can see it coming up, and I'm going, hey, you know, I'm right.

And in that moment, they got the inspiration. for Moana's grandmother. Oh no, 170. It was wild. Wow. Yeah. Hey, people are serious about sea turtles.

Oh, no. They're awesome. They're awesome. They're beautiful. Let's just be awesome. Let's be honest. All turtles are pretty sticking cool. They're very big.

Yeah, they're awesome. I love a box turtle. That zoo and Tyler doesn't have turtles. Oh, tortoises. I used to until I found out who they, who are their bunkers. Bunkmates. Who's that?

Box turtle? Yeah, box turtle. Or the gopher tortoises? Well, the one that's got the box, he can close it whole like the, it's like a garage door comes up, that one. Their bunk mates are rattlesnakes. Well, wouldn't you live with them too if you say? If you was at the bottom of the food chain?

No. No, you gotta do close that garage door? Well, I mean, the turtle's fine, but the bunk mate, no. He ain't in the rattlesnakes. Yeah, I ain't in the rattlesnakes, you know. you know. No, you can take the rattle off of that. You ain't into snakes. Well, hey, I don't like, yeah, forget the rattles and anything else.

If he crawls slithers on this belly, I got one lane for it. What? A 22. And that's something to blow his head off with. Well, we'll be back right after this. Crabbed them crabs running on them beach, they run sideways. I don't see how they do that. Did you chase them?

I tried to run sideways, and I was like, now. I like the one that's just got one, one claw. One claw. I don't mind it. I guess they started around. They ought to go this way, but they go this way. And there's literally millions of, in the marsh grass. Because I went over, I went over a bridge when I was in Virginia.

Back to Virginia. Okay. And look, the tide was out. And I'm telling you, I bet you was there was at least a million. One-armed cramps? One-armed craps. with like the little bitty shell on the back of it. Did any of them say they were so shiny?

No, but there was a lot of them. It was? So, hey, that's why you never see any carcasses in the ocean. Wait, there's a such thing as a one-armed crab. Well, he just told you they were out. I just told you that's a fiddler crab. When you're going to quit outing him, son? I ain't ever heard no one-armed crab?

Yeah. I got all that too. Hey, look, you go down there. I suppose to fiddler on the roof? You go down there in Key West, and they got them crabs that live on the ground on land, and them suckers are just some hammers. But, I mean, how mad would you be if he was born to look like this, we just want, like... No, no, that's what's so unique about it.

He ain't got one cow. He got another one over there. It just ain't much to it. Well, yeah, but, hey, the only thing you notice is the big one, big pincher. Well, yeah, that's to keep the sun out of his eyes. Do you think some of them are left-handed and some of them are right-hand? Well, only so far, I'm looking at that's all right-hand. This one's lefty.

Yeah, there's a lefty. There's a south ball. That wasn't a south ball. It's on the right side. He's looking at you. And the other one's right-handed. Your left or my left side? Which one we own?

Oh, I'm looking. Okay, he's looking at me. His right. Either way. Okay. I didn't know there was such thing. But anyway, I guess it could be left-handed. That's where they got to the slot machine from.

Fiddler. I just can't wait to see where we end up after this break. More. No, no, hey, it just hit me about that one-on-arm, one-arm-crab. Yeah, one-arm bandits. No, my point was we've been to Virginia. But you did, you know, it was never. We went to an aquarium.

Marsh. It's actually something to see if you see a corcus in the ocean. A carcass? Yeah. It would be incredible to see a corpus. Hey, or a body. Okay, because it, hey, if it's that long, it's gone. Something's going to eat it.

What is a corcus? A porpoise? No, a body. Oh, a carcass. Carcass. A carcass, whatever. It's like a bobbarus, but different. Yeah, it's like a body.

So you're saying if there's a... A dead body. If there's a corcus in the ocean... You don't see them, I'll tell you. It's an ocean. Cleanup troupe. There's always a cleanup crew ready, ready and willing. It's in the ocean.

Well, they're pretty efficient up here in these piney woods. Well, no, that's right. That's true. Between the buzzards or flies and maggots. Yeah. They go on. Yeah. They don't take it long.

Yeah. Like ain't, you know how to tell a male ain't from a female ain't? Oh, hold on. The big claws. I think this is a joke. No. No, no. The big joke is they've got...

He throw them in the water. If it sinks, it's a girl, ain't. But if he floats, it's a buoyant. That's pretty good. He's buoyant. He's a buoyant. He's a buoyant, boys. Okay.

aunt it'd be your uncle. Oh. Well, it's something like they can lift 12 times their body weight. Huh? Yeah. Boy ants or girl aunts? No. Or buoys.

I would say the boy. Booyance. Boillet. Twelve times their body weight? Yeah. It may be more than that. I just know this is amazing what they can live. How much can you live?

5,000 times their body weight. Is it? 5,000 times. Oh, okay. I knew somebody. I knew when I said it, I knew I was wrong. How much do you weigh, Sa-Ey-Sy-2? I weigh 172.

All right. That's because they're so small, what they pick up is small. Yeah, but no, no, no, no. Five times their body weight is still small. No. It still don't weigh. If you're talking about five times their weight. Five thousand times their weight.

Oh, what do they weigh? You can't even fail them until they bite you. What I'm just saying, there's still a feat. It would be like if Si could lift 860,000 pounds. Yeah. There you go. 860,000 pounds. Which is about the size of a large yacht.

Yeah. It's pretty impressive, Sae. Oh, no. That's why I tell you. Yeah. So you ain't an eight? Well, no, no, that's like the hummingbird. Okay.

Oh, man, here we go. Oh, no, no, no. Because, hey, this is the coolest thing. The humming bird does not flap his wings just up and down. down. Yes, he doesn't flip his wings up and down. Side to side. A humming, though, a humming bird does a figure eight,

and it's 180 wing beats per second. That's fast. That's why he can go, woo, who, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, he'd go any way he wants to go. He's like a drone. And, hey, and his wing beat are a figure eight. But you got a thing about it. A figure eight wing beat, 180 beats per second.

80 times a second. I just wish y'all. Nope. I looked it up. What did it say? They flutter their wings 80 times per second. They do not flap their wings. They rotate them in a figure eight.

And then they go, Zim, zo, z. Oh, if you ever heard one, that's what. My aunt grabbed one off of flower. Is she a girl ain't or a boy? No, no. That'd be your uncle. My aunt is a girl. But hey, she grabbed a hummingbird.

Guess what happened? She couldn't lift it. He stuck that beak slammed through her hand. What? Well, that ain't very nice. Yeah. All the way through? All the way.

Yeah. And then he said, V-W! He's gone. When she opened it, he backed out. He must have been eating crow. I'm just telling you, okay. What is this podcast even about?

About things that hit my mind. Nature. Nature. Yeah, nature today. Hmm. Yeah. Well, what's the funnest thing you've done today? Right here.

I hear it's a podcast, boy. It's hard to beat this. Oh, by the way, did you ever talk to your wife? She called me in a panic looking for you. No, no, yeah. Oh, okay. We got a phone call from Houston. Oh.

Okay, so my... Houston there's a problem. No, no, the problem is fixing to be fixed. There's a solution? Oh, yeah. You're approved? Yeah, yeah, I got a few more steps to go through, but yeah, I've been approved. Ah, hey.

Look at you. That means you're going to be talking for a while, son. That's good. Breathing through just wide open lungs. Well, really, the exhale, right? No, yeah. That's what it fixes, the exhale, not the inhale. good.

It's not getting rid of the bad. There you go. So you're going to be able to talk twice as much. Oh, yeah. And it's fast. He's going to be like a hummingbird over. Then I'll be able to tell us. We won't get in her word in there twice.

Then I'll be able to tell him on QE more. Yeah, baby. That's exciting, Sam. Well, it is. That's cool. I didn't know what it was about. Yeah, that's why she was trying to run everybody down. Yeah.

So, hey, have you seen my husband? Yeah. She needed his inch. I wanted to get my hair done. She needed his checkbook. Yeah. I want to get my hair done and I come home. Whoa.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't breeze over that. Well, I'm out. Reverse. Run this thing back about 30 seconds. No, no, I got, this is hair done? Huh? You went to?

This is hair done? No, she went to get her hair done. Oh, I thought you said, I. I was like, whoa, no, sir, no, sir. We didn't. Actually, all this time he's going to go into a barber lunch or line. She went to get her hair done. Oh.

Okay. Yeah, she had a date with a hair lady. Because if this was you got your hair done, I was going to have to wonder where it was. Here's what's done with my hair. That's it. Yeah, that's about it. I know.

I'm glad I wasn't the only one. I heard I. And when it gets real like this, I got to use the big side of the comb to get it off tango. Not the little side. Not the other side, because that hurts too much. Side of man has still got the comb that flips over.

Oh, yeah. Teth on one side, rough on us. Big teeth on one side. To get it straightened out, and then you don't, yeah, okay. Do you keep it in a cup by the sink? No. Oh, Steve. It's right there where I got my car keys, my truck keys.

Right there where I got my truck keys. He's a dapper damn, man. Oh, so you leave it. Two weeks for rent for it. So the last thing you do for you leave the house is run a comb through your hair. Golly. Then I'm out of the door. No?

Yeah, I wouldn't have pegged you for that, no. And then you're right here with a window down? Nope. Yeah. No. And I will say one thing about that. new for it I got. Tell us about it.

I could leave meat and that sucker and it wouldn't fall. Leave the air conditioner on. It will run you out there. Oh, that's good. And it only goes to seven. What? Yeah. And I usually turn it on two.

And then if I drive from here to the pie care, about halfway up, I turn it off. Are we talking about your air conditioner? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Gov only goes up to seven? Yeah.

Okay. Oh, and it'll run you out of there. My truck I've actually got out him how to wipe you know frost off your arm yeah frost off my arm

95% if Christine went here here she goes no you didn't oh no hey that's like I run down the temperature of son Tompade

yo you seen the commercial where it goes from infrared to blue hey that's what it is in my truck when I get out solid blue it's solid blue

it's freezing everything ain't no red ain't no red. This is all that blue, baby. What's this the commercial for? Cold air conditioning. Cold air. Cold air.

What size telling all of us? Oh, they got all kinds of new things that cold air. They got the little neck band. Okay, and it actually sprays cold air down and up. Okay, then if you go all the way and get the little band around your neck and the new hat, then you got it made. If you wanted to know what they were advertising on it, they'd. daytime TV.

That's right. It's supposed to advertise it on daytime TV. Yeah. You watch TV land. You can buy yourself a hat with a fan on it? Boat wait. And you know what they're saying with it? Attack light.

And not one, but two. And if because of all the bright life, they send you tack shakes. Well, we'll be back right after that. I'm sitting here doing this, and the only thing to think about is, how would you like to be a woodpecker? Ladies and gentlemen,

We were in a break. Yeah. And we just started rolling, and that's what comes out of his mind. Hey. He was hitting a knife on a piece of wood, and that got you to think of? I will say one thing about they need to do a medical study, and I guarantee you, woodpeckers have a lot of migraine headaches. Okay.

There's no doubt in my mind about that. If you're wondering what the best part of my day was. Because if you ever been in the woods, it hurt. Bhr! That's a woodpecker pecking on a hard oak tree. Bird fags with Cy Robertson. No? And impressions.

I wonder if they ever get a crack, their bill ever cracks. Yeah. Their bill ever cracks? Oh, I imagine sometimes they probably hit a real soft spot and get hung up. They're trying to get a little. No, no, trying to get a bug. They know the bugs in there, and then they hit the soft spot. And they get their beak hung up.

And then you see them. How much looney tunes do you watch on a daily base? I'm going to start this orange squirrel season. I'm going to go through the woods looking to see if I see a woodpecker hanging. It's just a circle. That's right. It's been in circles trying to get out of there. I'll tell you what, you'll see him.

His nose just. No, no, you'll be a sim here. He's upside down. Oh, no. It is a thing. What? Woodpecker gets stuck in? No.

Here you go. Hey, our good friends over at YouTube, save the woodpecker. And I feel bad because I think this dude's messing with his bird. Then he pulls him out of the... And he goes. And he flies off. You got his beak stuck. So, you are just a well...

What did you just do over there, Martin? I forgot I had that gun magnet in my hand and I brought it back close and that thing jumped out of my hand and scared me to death. Ladies and gentlemen. You found a woodpecker all in about. I'm talking about scared. I'm talking about scared me to death. What kind of tree and what kind of woodpecker was that? Where's that at?

He ain't from around here. No, that was a foreign country. That was a banana tree. Yeah. I don't. That woodpecker ain't from around here. No, he's blue. But I can tell you this month.

He doesn't beat his silk black and blue. Wait, no, I'm not kidding you. Well, tell me. Science.org. That's got to mean it's true. on January 7th, 2021, they finally figured out why woodpeckers don't get stuck in trees.

It's a very long article. I'll tell you, they've done a study on it. They did a study on it. But they're saying they don't get stuck. Well, I think they're incorrect. They can move its upper and lower beaks independently. Oh, yeah, it's a mouth. Leg what?

They can lower. I can, I can, I can, move mine independently. Can you? Hey, me too. But they're moving together. No. Just move your top lip.

Apparently. No, they synced up. Wait. He said, yes. I'm a mouth. There you. There is, boys. Bam.

Bam. Bam. Bam. Is this slow motion? Oh, yeah. Look, slow motion. All right, here we go. That's the ivory bill.

Sure is. No, that's a pilliated. Nope. I'll fix it. That's the other one. Where's the red? I don't know. That was a very short video.

He's a cousin to the ivory bill. Well, yeah, they're both woodpackers. Well, no, I'm saying. The whatever he said it was. Huh? He's the cousin. He's the cousin to the ivory bill. Who's the first cousin?

Who's your first cousin? What? Hobbses. The main hobbses? The main old hobbeses. Yeah, and the hills. Oh, what an episode. You got to understand. H. H.

Honeyhole? No. Superstar. Hobbes and hails. Oh. Hey. And Rubbersons? I got arrowhead.

Oh, imagine if he was a woodpecker. Martin, can you get this thing back on track? Nope. Isn't that your job? The train has run off the tracks. Hey, 146 of them and I finally lose it. We are. All right, how's it, Boris?

One out of 146 ain't bad. Well, I don't. No, because now I'm just sitting here thinking about woodpeck. He has hijacked my mind. No, no, a woodpecker is a cool little... You're sitting there at daylight on your deer stand and you hear them. Or out there in the middle of the pond. They'll fly out, them old red-headed ones will fly all the way out there to the middle of the pond

on them dead snag. Yeah. Pretty old thing. Yeah. That's the ones with the holes in. When you said that, I just remember last year we're in the duck blind. The sun is just peeking up in the east, just the top of it. and guess what lights on a bush

and it's about 25 of them Sparrow Mosquitoes? No. I'm going to guess woodpeckers? That's what we're talking? Cardinals. Male cardinals. Male cardinals. And he's in full plumage. Red as red and it looked like a Christmas tree. It looked like somebody

stuck a Christmas tree in the ground and turning lights on. All cardinals. Because the sunlight was just hitting that buck bush over there and It was 25 red Cardinals. Yeah, look like Christmas tree. It was gorgeous. Don't you say Cardinals is your loved ones coming back to visit you. I don't know.

I think. They do. I don't know. Yeah. I've never heard that. There's so many things about birds. Them. Yeah, that's so many things about birds.

Yeah. And flowers, same thing. Yeah. Cardinal, he's a cool. Hold on. I don't know, nothing about flowers if it makes women happy. Growing up when I got my first BB gun, you got your butt whoop if you killed a mockingbird a cardinal

birds are awesome I saw I send you this picture old Kevin Peel and them were fishing KP and they were out in the middle of the Gulf and a dang yellow bill cuckoo went and landed on their boat with them for those of you that don't know the old timers call them a rain crow what was you hear them before a rain yellow bill cuckoo how does a bird get in the middle of the ocean

because he's coming back home oh he's going for it because they went to back from they migrate Yeah, they go across the Gulf, cut the Gulf, and get into Northern South America. Neatropical migrants is what they're called. A captain, I've seen this on the nature. Yeah, I've seen this on a nature show. A captain that was, he took people out to fish from Marlins and all this big fish, game fish. And he had a seagull that every time he went out would come and land on his boat.

The same more? Yeah, and he had hand-feeded. How do you? No, no. That was just on. That was just on. That was jaded. That was the thing that blew the captain's mind.

He said, how in the world did he find me? Me and this boat when I'm going out, you know, 100 miles offshore. And then here's, you know, they even named him. I don't even remember what his name was. They named the Siegel? Yep, they had a name for it. Because, hey, he would just show up out of the blue and lie on their boat, and they had hand-feed him the rest of the fisher trip.

No matter which way they went. Didn't make any difference before they went. He needs the sound of that boat. He would show up. Time out, but he could get really high and look. Well, no, no, no, but still, 100 miles offshore from the dock. That's pretty impressive. These birds that live out there.

That's how you catch him fish. No, no. Get out there and find a bird. Oh, no, it's nothing funner to watch. Okay. I guess they was on mackerel, I guess, a school of mackerel. But there was some kind of seabirds, and it was a lot of them. Brig-it birds.

And hey, these suckers are bombing out of the sky. You know, and then right before they do, they put their wings straight back and just, they go like 20 feet deep. Yeah, the ocean ain't a good place to be a little fish. Yeah. But it's amazing to watch it, because all it is is, you're talking about a splash show. Just pshu, pshu, pish. We're going to have to come up with a new segment.

like a jingle when we do fun facts about birds. Fun facts. Oh, no, it was something to see. This has been 42 minutes of it. What's the furthest a bird will migrate? What's the furthest migrating bird? Probably, I don't know the name of Phil could tell you because he tells the stories all the time. He lives in the Arctic.

A penguin? No. No, some little bird that nest. Long, long, he can fly. He nest, he nest in the Arctic. Arctic Turn. And he's black and white. Yeah.

And hey, he goes to Brazil. From the Arctic. He goes to pole every year. Well, I know, but he goes to, you know, it's Brazil. He goes to the South Pole. From Greenland in the north. I thought they wasn't no South Pole. Well, it depends on if you're a flat earth or not.

And we got in trouble by one of our listeners, so we can't talk about that anymore. But what is, if the Arctic, what? A wettle seat. Turn or fern? What is the wettles? Fern. A fern would be a plant. That sort goes all the way to Archerica.

That was his problem. He didn't turn. Well, no, no, because what they did, look, some students at Indiana, the University of Indiana, they got some. They had a field trip. They got some eggs of the turn. They incubated them. And after the turns had left to go to Brazil, then they actually turned these loose.

And look, two days later, they're in Brazil with the rest of them. he's right Brock's Birds of Indiana it's in there how does this man retain all this it's incredible Discover channel well look

fun facts with Sa it's incredible well it's seriously hey when you see it it's interesting hey when you live that long could you imagine

planted your brain and your kidneys no no that's like the hummingbird the hummingbird the hummingbird migrates 3,000 miles

could you imagine planet I think he goes to the Amazon There, right now. No, no, no, no. Hey, here's the deal. This stupid bird right here. Nope.

I think he goes to the Amazon, the hummingbird. Or where does he start? Huh? Wherever he's at. Yeah, he's a neotropical migrant, too. Yeah, he goes all over the United States. Where'd he start at? Wherever.

They just goes to, what did you say? I guess it depends on which one you want to look at is a start. Yeah. It's always summer in his world. Yeah. He leave down there to start of fall. He'd get up here in the summer. He makes the route when everything is in bloom.

Yeah, they're all doing the same thing ducks. I tell you what there is a big explosion of around here. What? Them stanking whistling ducks. Oh, yeah. Everywhere. I thought she was going to say deer flies, though, because they're bad, too. Well, yeah, but.

Whistling? I'm talking, we're talking about breath. They must leave before a hundred seasons. Do they migrate south before hunting season? Well, they don't usually come up here, but they have in the last 10 years. Yeah. Well, I tell you, everything. things coming north.

They get gold. We need to get gold. Let's take our last break. We'll be back right after this. All right, we're back. And we're back to that. And section, emails are here. What's in there, John?

Hello at duck callroom.com. Drop me an email about birds, I guess, because that's what we're in. That's a pretty jig right there. And now we're back to fishing bait. Goblin, you didn't know this, but we got people engaged because of the power of this podcast. That's awesome. New favorite thing ever. And Lizzie emails in from Dallas, Texas.

Who knows if she's from Dallas? Big D, boys. Did she go to the All-Star race? She doesn't say. But she's an identical twin, and she says congratulations to Martin on having twins. I know. And she did say, look, if one of them wakes up crying, just go ahead and wake up the other one. That way you don't have to wake up twice.

That's her advice to you. But yesterday. You heard it from a twin. A couple days ago, her boyfriend, propose to her. There you go. Congratulations. Congratulations. Is this good news? Of course I said yes. So it's good news. Of course. All right. So since we now have a wedding to plan, what is something y'all wish

you would have done on your wedding day or something you wish you wouldn't have done? Any advice would be great. Wedding advice from four dudes that are in a duck call room. Here's my advice to you, young lady. Don't spend a bunch of money or don't let your parents spend a bunch of money. It don't last very long. And you're always... And the reason I say this, I had a friend that spent $150,000 on a wedding for his daughter less than six months. They're divorced.

Well, they're not going to get divorced. Well, I'm just saying, hey. But if you do a bunch of activities and all that, you've got to hang around. You can't leave. You're stuck there. Yeah. That is true. It's not worth it. Save your money because you'll need it later, especially when kids start coming along. and all this other stuff. Take pictures first. Yeah.

Get that over with it. That's my best advice for you. Don't spend a lot of money on a wedding. That's not terrible. Guys. Go to have a wedding. Hey, take the pictures at, I got an idea. Take the pictures at a rehearsal dinner.

If you're not going low, that'd be the best thing. I'm with John on that. Don't spend a bunch of money. This is why I thought we shouldn't read the same. Hey, this is 51 years of experience talking. You gave your wife a cigar wrapper and then turns out it was a $16 ring. That's what I'm talking about. But hey, now she's toting one around on it.

There's a knock your eyes out. Okay. Okay. Martin, do you have any good advice? Eat. Eat and be married. I'll say this. Eat.

We paid a bunch of money. I didn't pay no money. Allison's parents made a bunch of money for food that I didn't get to eat. Yeah. That's what I'm talking about. Because you're stuck going around in circles. everybody's you end up not even really spend a lot of time with the person

you just married because you're having to talk to everybody else say thank you for coming A-Y-O-M Close bring your own mate Like that grill Close family and close friends And have an informal I will say this Lizzie

If your parents are going to pay for the wedding If I could go back in time I'd say hey what's the budget on this thing And let's knock that down a little and you just give me the cash. I like that idea. And then go on like a really cool honeymoon. Oh, I didn't tell you that.

That's what the father told the daughter. Tell me, hey, I give you and your intended 100 grand or I'll throw you a big wedding. And them two said, okay, thought it's a big wedding. And then less than six months there's divorce. Weddings are fun. They're a waste of money. Hunt.

They're not a way. There's celebration of Lizzie and her husband. Hey, I can celebrate. They want you to do it cheaply. You can celebrate. Okay, call me a cheap steak if you want to, I'll take it. Okay, but I'm just saying, hey, save your money, close friends and family. And, hey, if you have a set budget, spend it on the honeymoon.

There you go. I just remember getting done, getting back, and like, I was so hungry. Yeah. And there was nothing. And I'm so glad it's over. And I can get back to my life. not really i'd come back and film that dynasty the next day but my wife still don't let me forget that that's it boy honey moon come back to work go on an awesome vacation put your phones in the hotel room

and go do whatever it is that you two like doing if it's the beach if it's the mountains go do that yeah that's my advice do whatever you want to do just remember to eat i'm just the main thing is love each other every morning you get up every night either eat or order two pizzas the night before and slap them in the refrigerator. What, you got something to eat when you get back. Or order a pizza right when you leave. I love that. All right. Last one. Julio from Texas.

Waylio. Who, Leo? This is a little bit opposite of the last one. My high school girlfriend that I've been dating for a year. Okay. Just broke up with me. Oh. I'm invested. Time lost.

Okay. Well, hey, look, I've just been honest here. Okay So I just ran a cost-benefit analysis and say Well, look, hey, no, I got some good advice for him You don't even know what his question is Put the question to it. You do know what his question is.

The breakup wasn't on bad terms, but he feels a little lost and loan. He is a believer in Christ, but what do I do to cope with this? Time invested. The only thing I can tell you is, okay, it's like riding horses. If you get bucked off, Hey, put your foot back in the stirp, get back on it, and try it again, boys. Hey. So I say run it back.

I say it's a summertime and go fishing. Yeah. Well, no, no. Hey. But, look, life, hey, honestly, okay, okay, this is a serious part. Okay. Okay, it happens. Yep.

Okay. There's a lot more beautiful women out there. Okay. And look, trust me when I tell you this, God has already got one picked out for you. It may be her or it may be another one. But there's a horse in the stable. Hey, but hey, look.

She's in the barn somewhere. Okay. So all you got to do is hang in there, my man. Okay. And when time comes, okay. You know, time fixes everything. And look, I don't know if he's... The Bible even says in Ecclesiastes 3-1,

there is a time for every... thing. Okay, right now there's a time to reflect and fish. And fish and then move on. Yeah, you're in high school. Be single. Yeah, you're in high school. You're young. You don't even know yourself yet. Yeah. You don't even know who you are. Yeah. You didn't think of that out yet. I'm 74 and I don't even know who I am. He thought he was 64 for a second. Hey, I figured 10 years younger on this deal was. My man. But that's their advice to him, man. Hey, look, life's too short.

I love you Yeah Everybody's going to hit a few potholes In their travels on this earth Okay hey You know If it bust the tire I get your tire fix and replace

And move on Go on down the road There you go John Dee you want to wrap this one up Not really I'm having the time of my life today My man turned into a loose can And I was it boy

He had a good nap Hey I'm on the road today Well since it was the bird episode. I can think of no better verse than Matthew 626 through 30. Do you know how it starts? No. Look at the birds in the sky. By the way, Jesus is saying this. Pay attention. Look at the birds in the sky. They don't plant or harvest. They don't even store grain in barns. Yet your father in heaven takes care of them. Julio, aren't you worth much more than birds? Can worry make you live longer? Why worry about clothes? Look how the wildflowers grow.

they don't work hard to make their clothes but I tell you that Solomon with all his wealth wasn't as well clothed as one of them God gives such beauty to everything that grows in the fields even though it is here today and thrown into a fire tomorrow God will surely do even more for you

that's it baby amen I'm sure it's at we'll see y'all next time right here that's worth that boys