Duck Call Room - Uncle Si Weasels Financial Secrets From Willie Robertson's Assistant

Episode Date: December 25, 2025

Willie’s snowy road-trip panic sets the tone as he’s convinced he’s writing his obituary by text, and Uncle Si tries to pry Willie’s financial secrets out of his assistant Chad with zero success. The boys dive into McRib mishaps, stinky cheeses, and Si proudly predicts Jep’s son to be a sports superstar in the making. John-David wishes for a Hawaiian Punch fountain, but Martin is all about making it to the level of owning a home urinal. - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What are we going to talk about today? I don't know. We're going to talk about life. Okay, there you go. Welcome back to the duck call room, ladies and gentlemen. I will say, when I walked in here, so I said, I'm still on this life kick. Me too. That's good news.

Well, before you get started, let's introduce Chad. Chad has been here before one time. No, three. This is number three. I can't remember. I mean, I just know it. It was so memorable we don't remember. It's not.

No, I remember it because Chad, as y'all may or may not know, is the reason that hello at duckcallroom.com exists. It is his brainchild. He stole it from another podcast. Which is great. That's fine. Plus, he's always fun to be around. I'm like imitation is the greatest form of flattery,

and we're just imitating. Who are we imitating? I don't even remember. I just think some fun or be around because he takes my money at the poker table. Yeah. You're the only person he does that too. But he gives it to everybody else, so it's fine. Well, Chad, you have my old job basically, don't you?

I don't know, man. What's your job title? People, you're not just a friend. Like, you have a job or? Yeah. I mean, I think you've done every job there is, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but are you Willie?

We were just in New York and a guy asked what I did. And Willie was just watching. He was like, I've been waiting here. Are you Willie's friend? What was your answer? Yeah, I just said, I work on the finance, work, property, work, whatever's needed, kind of just this guy. Not a big title guy, are you? Yeah, I'm not a big title guy.

But it was so funny. Willie just stopped. And he was like, I've been waiting to hear. Yeah. Well, I'm still waiting. Yeah, I'm so waiting. I mean, I told you exactly what I told them. I kind of, on the personal finance side,

just kind of oversee all that. Matter of fact, oh, yeah. So if anybody wants Willie to give them money, called Jack of all trades and a master of none. A master of, wow. Ouch. I can do it all.

But I will say I did, I did feel like we'll. almost was going to die this weekend, this week in New York, Syracuse. We were there. And let me tell you, those boys up north that used to driving in the ice, I mean, they drive like we would drive here on a sunny day. Yeah. Like, I would. I mean, if you're used to.

Hey, let me tell you what thing. Which one of y'all was driving now? I was scared to Dan. Were y'all just riding? No, we were riding, yeah. Oh, okay. And that guy, well, we would, it would have taken us four times as long as get there. Most of the time up there,

they don't slow down. No, they did not. My cars, cars was like getting in their lane. They were slamming on the brakes. I was hanging on to everything. It's your job to make sure that doesn't happen. So you travel with Willie? It's a little bit. It's not. I spent the whole

time like you when I was up there in the Army. Yeah. If somebody else was driving, I was. I was white knuckling. At one point, Willie was like, I'm texting my obituary at this moment. Like he thought he was like, this is ridiculous. The guy never slowed down.

Did he send it to you? No, he's going to send it to it. Because I would like to read it. They didn't? Then we could change it. Yeah, I was just wondering what it says. And something else, we were in Syracuse, New York. Something else I realized, like in Louisiana, when it snows, we just wait for it to melt.

Like, we don't worry about what to do with the snow. Yeah, because it's going to melt. Yeah. It's not going to melt there. Syracuse. No, you got to move. You got to move. You got to move it all in place.

They just moved it all in place. to another pile and it just piled up just mountains of snow everywhere you look now when i was in massachusetts and used to go to the club out hitchhite yeah and hey that's how he met his wife yeah all drank a little too much one night how also how he met his wife oh and hey i'll go up the hill fall or roll down the other side you know not how he met his wife they just push they just push the snow off the side of the road well hey they think make mountains really yeah all right Don't get rid of it. They just, they can't get rid of it.

How do you get rid of it? How do you get rid of snow when it's 30 degrees outside? They just keep filing it up. Interesting. Piling it on it. In the big parking lots, they never were the, you know, businesses. They push it to the middle. You just make a mountain.

That's, I mean, where we were. The Dozer was just pushing as far up as they could go. That's interesting. I'm glad I don't live there. Me too. I woke up and it was 23 this morning. They had snowed. I told the kids goodbye and I went back in the bed.

They had stole several months a year. Where's that? Seven months a year in Massachusetts, it was snow to ground. I don't know how y'all do it. No? I could tell you, I'd have no interest. It'd be summertime and there'd still be a pile of it just down melt. They look at us in 90 degrees for a couple of months.

It'll kill them. So, I mean, I get it. It's wherever you're from, whatever you're used to. Yeah. But I'm not used to that. Let me tell you, I was there three days. They didn't have the snow. In Syracuse for three days?

Couldn't wait to get back. What did you do in Syracuse for three days? He sat around while Willie sat in a hotel room, wondering what he was going to do. I've been there. Does Willie leave the hotel room now? What are we doing now? Very, very little. What do you do?

I used to go explore. You just sit in a hotel room, too. I'm that old guy. How much dominoes you eat on the road then? Because Johnny D had that mastered. I'm sad I don't have Willie's card number on my Domino's app anymore. I could put it back on there. We have killed some Taco Bell.

Taco Bell is kind of my go-to. If we're on a travel and driving, Taco Bell or Popeyes, it seems like it's the two that's been going. Yeah. Y'all trying to get that dude wipe still, huh? That's good. Hey, you got to put it out there in the universe, man. You got to.

Taco Bell and Dude Wipes on the. row with Willie Roe. So that's your two fast food is Popeyes and Taco Bell. Interesting. You like to get cussed at and good fried chicken and dog food. I love taco. I love it. It's dog food, but I love it.

Oh, I do too. It's just hard to eat. I don't, whatever. It's not a driving food. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. No, no. You have to stop and eat. Although I did try another driving food last yesterday.

What's that? Because I promised cart or something. You didn't have your breakfast meat pie? I'm off those. We hit a number that I'm like, oh, got to slow down, gang, it's the winner. Gotta get back on the old program. Anyway.

Carter saw an ad for the McRib being back. I love them. Yes. He was on a mission. Yes. To have a McRib. Yes. They don't serve those at OCS cafeteria.

We used to get them in washed off bars school. We got a Macribs. I got a McRibs? 100%. Like the real thing? I mean, it wasn't a McDonald's, But it was a rib paddy. It looked like it.

What is this? And we didn't only get it during the winter. We had that baby year round. Yeah, year round. And I would always, that was the day I brought my extra money to get two. Yeah. A McRib? Yes.

It's just in school cafeteria? The Knoth? It was back in the day. It had onions and pickles? No. Ours did not. It's just a sandwich. You could put whatever condiments they had of it.

I guess technically. Was it shaved like ribs? Yeah, it had the little furry. I mean, it looked like the same exact thing. My whole life's been right. I thought this was a. McDonald's special. Yeah.

Well, I mean, some food group makes it and distributive to other people. So Carter was on a mission because he'd heard from probably Ryan Trehan or somebody that this is the world's greatest food. The McRill? The McRill. I mean, it's not bad. I would have said it. So we go to McDonald's on Saturday.

It's on the menu. Take it. If you're out of it, just take it off the menu. It's a TV screen. Oh, no. So then Carter's mad. And I was like, well, we had to get to a baseball tournament. So for Ben's.

And I was like, look, I found an app because McDonald's has an app now, and I scoured Washtal Parish, and only one of our surprisingly large number of McDonald's had the McRib. McDonald's, where's that? Like, eight. Really? Yeah. And why would you run out? Like, why would you run out of that?

So for lunch yesterday, we go to McDonald's, and I'm like, we'll get to Boy of McRibbillop. We can trash McDonald's all we want to, but then French fries are. So good. And, you know. I ordered one McRib, and when they had that, I said, go ahead and make it too. Yeah. It's like, get another one for a dollar.

Let me have this moment with my son. I mean, we're just sharing a bond here. Yeah, heck, yeah. I pass it back to Carter and goes, dad, this thing's beautiful. It got five stars, although very hard to eat while driving. Yeah, that would be a toughie because it is slathered and salt. We were in Allison's car. She was very upset, but we did it.

Did you get it with the onions and pickles, or did you get that? Yeah. Did Carter? Oh, yeah. Oh, really? He eats. Carter's got a refined palate. There you go.

Mom's Allison. Yeah. Boy, he had sushi for lunch today. It's a problem. Good for him. Yeah. I don't like it. That's fantastic.

That's, no, McRibs are good. They're not. I do. I do bypass the onions. I'm saying, I get just pickles. Yeah, just the pickles. Yeah. I bypassed the onions, but, you know.

Sal, what do you think about the McRib? Eh, yeah. He eat it. Don't let it. If he didn't give it a thumbs down, he eat it. that he's got all his teeth he'll like it even more I just don't ever... It would be. It's hard driving though. Oh yeah, you can't eat it.

I mean, you can't, but you should. I did. I did it. In my Sunday clothes, because we went after church. I was like, all right, look, springtime is here. It's warming up. You know what that means? That means more outside cooking. And y'all know. We love to eat beef around here.

And that's what, because of our friends over at Triedale's beef makes such a good product, baby. Ain't it good? It's so good. our friend, Sao Robertson would say, buy on the grill. Look, before we got Tritels, getting ready for a cookout, man, somebody had to run the grocery store,

do all the things, grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day. And you never really know where that beef comes from. But with Tritels beef, we skip the grocery store and do it a different way. Triedales comes from a family ranch out in Texas. They're a fifth generation American ranch. So they've been at it for a while.

Now, look, the beef comes straight from their ranch and other ranchers they work with who raise cattle. the same way. Their steaks are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door. We threw a couple of ribbys on the grill. Look, salt, pepper, garlic, hot fire, that's all you need. Look, because I tell you what, when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living, you can taste the difference. The tenderness and the flavor are fantastic. So if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season, go check out Tritale's beef. I know in size case Christine loves it,

which is just a she doesn't eat meat. She ain't a big meat eater, folks. Yeah. Just go to trybeef.com slash. That's trybeef.com slash support ranch families and eat some dang good steak. Whatever happened to that little thing I used to have when I pressed a button and he would talk. Donald Trump? No, no, not that thing. That thing's wild.

I don't know. You lost that thing. I had a little keychain and it would go. I think Hunter got rid of it because I was always pressing it. You still got Phil Frogerson over there. We do have Phil Frogerson. Our buddy brought to us, our friend. That was always a fun one.

Yeah, that thing talks. Does he say happiness? Does it talk? Yeah. I don't think so. Yeah. Chad, I know I don't have to worry about Jennifer listening to this. What did you get her for Christmas?

Because I'm still looking for things. Man, we don't do gifts. What? You don't do gifts. Oh, wow. I just never done gifts. I couldn't get him to talk. I'm broke Christmas.

Couldn't get him to talk. Anniversaries. No gifts at all. Period. End of story. So living with you is the gift. Is that coming through? I hear something, but he's talking about Hebrews 1.

He said, save the planet, save the planet. And then the beaver's coming along. He ain't going to save them. Johnny Dey, what did you get Allison? I don't, well, I got her a pot. This is an expensive month for you, ain't it? Because you got birthday, anniversary, and Christmas all within like a two week. This year 15 for the anniversary.

Yeah, but he gets it all done and won. Yeah, and then Allison's sad for the last, mad and sad for the other. 11. Well, you got Valentine's Day coming. Yeah, we don't really do much on that. Oh, okay. We just go out to eat her something. Yeah.

Anyways. All flowers. I got her. I got her, what I get her? Some fancy pot. Okay. Cooking in. Oh.

Something is useful. But for our anniversary, I got her something that benefits me in no way, shape, form, or fashion. A red speeder. No, that would benefit me. Oh. Because of how good I would look in it. Okay.

There you go. But, no, I got her some fancy coffee maker that shouldn't cost that much. I don't know why it does, but that's what I was told I should get her. Oh, okay. Multiple people. Well, good for you. But I don't drink coffee. Good for you for listening.

You do not drink coffee? I'm going to put Red Bull in it and see what it does. Well, Brittany just sent me a picture with the text of a thermometer that said 100.1, so I'm not going to go home. You just leaving her on her own? Yeah, she's a grown up. She's a grown-up. She's a grown-up. My kids are at my moms, and I'm going to go to the camp.

What if I'm a carrier? I can't take that risk. Oh, there we go. Can't take that risk. He's not pretty good a lot. The old Vids going around out here. Yeah, that's what they say she got. Can't say that anymore.

Did I tell y'all what happened to me? What? About the turkey. Oh, yeah, you got sick, but you didn't go on. You just said you got a little sick. How bad was it? I never want to do that again. You mess up to bed?

No, no, no. I went through a roll of toilet paper, though. At both home and work. I left work. I had to leave. Oh, no. Yeah. I ate the turkey.

Yeah. Did you know it was the turkey when you ate it? Well, yeah. I cooked the turkey. No, I'm saying, like, while you were eating. No, I did this sniff test. Yeah. Then I heated it up, which I think probably masked anything that might have been wrong with it.

And then I ate the turkey. I said, I wonder how long you can eat a turkey after Thanksgiving. So I Google it. What day was it? It was past what Google said you should do. Okay. It just got lost in the fridge. No, I knew where it was.

Oh. I just thought, I mean, turkey on the shelf at the store lasts for a real long time. Yeah, that's true. So why wouldn't turkey that I cook last? That's why the robbersters are not big on leftovers. Not me neither, no more. So Friday, I came in from out of town. Boys are there by themselves because some in-service day, I don't understand that.

I'm like, what have y'all eaten today? Oh, we ate some fish sticks. I said, well, we got to eat dinner. Chandler goes in there and gets the bowl of turkey or the butter of turkey left over from Thanksgiving and just started eating it. So what do you do it? This was Friday. Like this just Friday. Two weeks?

Yeah. I said, what are you doing? He said, eating turkey. I looked at it was literally mold growing on it. Well, that's just penicillet. I mean, now he didn't get a piece with the mold on it, hopefully, but I threw it away. You may want a piece with mold because you can treat yourself at the same time as you're making yourself sick. It was our fault for not cleaning out the refrigerator for a little.

I was blown away. He ate that? I mean, I don't know how many bites he took, but he literally was just. Dad, I don't think we've had you on here for a holiday. What's your favorite Thanksgiving dish? Dad's a big pie fella. He's a pie, pecan pie. Dessert.

But I know most people don't like turkey. I actually do like turkey. Really? What most people do you hang out with that don't like turkey? A lot of people say it's dry, but I don't like it. It's dry, but I actually... Most people cook it too dry. Yeah.

Thank you. You want to cook it. You know how they say cook it to this degrees? That's not true. Stop short. Yeah. That's nice. Stop short of short. Yeah.

Medium rare turkey is fantastic. Well, I tell you about my son-in-law. He cooked one for this. A lot of what happened to you make a sense. He soaked it in some kind of fruit. Yeah. Yeah. And it was excellent.

Smoke it or fried or what do you do? Smoke it? Just cooking it up? All I know, but he actually marinated it in some kind of fruit. Oh, there you go. And it was real moist. Real moist. And tender.

That was the best turkey I've ever ate. Well, since you're a turkey guy, Chad, turkey or ham, though, like if you got the choice. I honestly pick turkey over here. Yeah. Winner. Turkey's better than ham, man. I like that. That is just them.

Hey, fuck it. It reminds me. My wife found all that dressing in the freezer. Uh-huh. I'm down to my last one. You've eaten all that? She found about five bags from last year. Oh, year old dressing.

This is my wedding cake. Oh, hey, I mean, it was the gallon, you know, one gallon chip lock full of dressing. When you leave this earth and they study you. Hey, hey, that was better than what I made this year. Yeah. Because it had enough sage, you are. You are. You're a marvel.

Ask him what you. favorite food was for Thanksgiving. I was saying, duck and jess it. What food do y'all do for Christmas? Honestly, mom does the same. Now, I will say we do. You're a grown man, son.

Yeah, yeah, but we got her house. You're not even bringing something? Yeah, we got to her house Christmas. We do et tufei. Okay. Christmas Eve. Do you bring something? Yeah, we bring some pie.

I make some lemon pie. If you make the lemon pies or do you buy them? What kind of pie? I make them, make them. But it's easy. It's condensed milk and lemon juice. It's like, how do you mess? Oh, for icebox pie, limnopla?

Oh, yeah. I mean, it's the easiest thing in the world to make. Gosh, I gave that one a thumbs up. Okay. And I know, yeah, hey, I ate the whole thing. But they fixed the banana. That's one of the best pie. I will say I like, and I know most people don't agree, but I like having that at dufe.

Something easy to make big pot of it. It's not a huge mess. Yeah. I'm with it. Needs a ton of people. And most people like Ettufei. Yeah. You don't like that toofei.

Jumbbo. Jambola. I just made a big old pot of jump a lot of jump a lot. Oh yeah. There you go. Saturday. You know what I had the other night? Since we're just stuck on food.

Generally, it's always our way out. The man at the Dominoes on Cypress Street was making my loaded cheese tauts. Loaded what? They put some tots down. They put it on a piece of parchment paper. They sprinkle a little cheese on there. Throw it in a box and bring it to your house.

Yeah. Whoever says the world sucks is wrong because that's possible from your phone. Yeah. You don't have to talk to a soul for that to happen. But my man. God bless America's all. My man made a mistake of some epic proportion and accidentally spilt the cheese onto the tots.

When I tell you there was two pounds of cheese in that box. And it was baked, like oven baked. So the edges were crispy. You had like little cheeses. It was the most phenomenal. And now I don't have that problem. I'm going to the bathroom anymore. Yeah.

Clogged. Yeah. Completely. But it was magical. Oh, that's why cheese is. I think I just picked dinner tonight. Yeah. Go to Domino.

Since I'm going to be on my own. You just got to hope they make a mistake. Yeah, it was totally not supposed to be that way. Well, good. But it was great. I mean, look. Hey, God provides me. Oh, I do that on bread.

What? Cut up sharp cheese. Yeah. Put it on bread. Yeah. And actually kind of burn it. Like cheese toast? Yeah.

Why is burnt cheese so good? Everything else gets worse when you burn it. But cheese gets better. No, you got to get it a little hotter than normal. Cheese is just good. I love cheese. Hunter, what's your favorite type of cheese? He's actually as a provalong type, yeah.

Prepared for this question. I just like, Colby. What? You have to prepare yourself for what kind of cheese is your favorite? Well, I, I, I, calm down, man. It's just, it's it. You asked me a question. I panicked.

Oh, I didn't mind me about when I dated that little Italian gal. Oh, praise the Lord. Here. Look. This is what we get. This is what we're here for, paper. And she made me homemade Italian pizza. Look, when she broke, broke out the cheese, you're talking about it stink.

Oh, he's told this. Yeah, you told me. No, because I was wondering after the smell hit me. I said, oh, I don't think I can eat that. She said, oh, trust me. She said, you'll eat it because it tastes better. her, okay, after you cook. Yeah. Well, it did.

That's true. That's true. But you're talking about, I mean, you're talking about it, raunchy. Ah. I don't know what kind of cheesy it was, but this. They cut that cheese. This was your Italian girlfriend? Oh, yeah. She was it down in New Orleans. Hey, I was Italian in New Orleans. That's a wild ride.

That's a wild one. Oh, that's a big idea. He was half Italian, half, half Cajun. No, you're talking about a while. Half Italian, half cake. Yeah, yeah. I don't know I've ever met one of them. That's where you got on Dewey sausage from.

I'm going to tell you, though, she was a fine thing. And dooey sausage. Hey, she could cook pizza too, son. Oh. Praise God. The reason I married Allison. Yeah, I was going to say. I mean, I'm with Johnny D.

The worst pizza I've ever had is still pretty good. Pretty doggone good. You invited me to the Pizza Hut buffet right now. It was just like, just like, He'll sticky chicken. Sticky chicken. Yeah. You know, I'll look, I'll come down there about dinner time.

He says, you're just the time. Oh, you're talking about the smell. Yeah. Because I was trying to figure out how we got chicken and pizza were similar. He's got chicken cut up in one of them iron pots. Yeah. And he probably had a pound of garlic. I'm just clove after clove pill and just threw all over the bottom of

that big pan. Well, when I drove up and opened the door, it was just, whoa. I said, what are you cooking? He said, a new deal. And it's great. And I said, what's, what you call it? He said, sticky chicken. Sticky chicken.

So he said, come on here, look. So he opened the pot, you know, took the lid off. And I said, I won't be able to eat that. I said, you got enough garlic in there. You had creep. He said, you won't even taste it. I said, you're out of your mind. I said, well, hey, give me a leg, let me try it.

That was the best stuff ever. And it didn't have the garlic taste. That's good. Hold on, but why would you put something in something if your explanation is you can't taste it? I always get mad whenever I'm like, I'm good. I don't really like tomatoes. And they're like, oh, you can't even taste them. Why'd you put it in?

When everybody that knows, after you ate it, they knew you had garlic. Oh, yeah. They could smell it. When you breathe on them, my good, great. Make me some sticky chicken much. Kind of like when you had Connie Island for a little. lunch. Yeah.

Everybody knows where you've been. But that stuff would, I mean, it was really good. I was shocked. Who's got the recipe? Who's going to make it? Who's got the recipe? Well, it's somewhere in one of the cage's cookbook probably. Yeah.

He made it all the time. He made about four or five dishes that was just his specialty. Yeah. One of them was in the fried rice. Bachi, Bachi. Yeah. Yep.

Well, you know, he put that thing on that grill. He's got in his house. Yeah. And I mean, it would be full. You know. And now he cooked that good. I bet it was Johnny D. can do that. I've been known to sling on a flat top.

A flat top is one of the greatest inventions known to man. Because you're either at the fanciest restaurant on earth, the Waffle House, or at the local habauchy. Well, what's good about it is, is it makes stuff crunchy. And you can cook so much. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, and Phil just has his whole grills covered with rice and everything you put in it.

Yeah. And he had two of them big specialists. Yeah. He was constantly just, yo. Yeah. So it was fun to watch him do it. And the smell, and the smell was out of this world. Could you imagine going to the local high-bachi restaurant and Phil Robertson walk out and stand in the middle of those 12 people or 14, however many?

You may not look at it. be the chef and start making a joke i was just fixed that he might not look that good but hey that boy could cook that stuff all right boys got a little japanese coconut i'm telling you yeah i'll tell you i'd if he could throw the egg up on top of his hat and all that good oh he had the hand-eye coordination for it he could do that oh that's the easy part his delivery on like japanese egg roll probably suffer a little bit yeah that'd be tough what was last time you went to a high-bachi restaurant we've been with him. Phil filmed it for

for the show. Yeah, we filmed a Duck Dynasty one like it Ronan or something. That's, yeah, but no, this was for treasure,

family treasure. We stayed at home. It was my vacation at home. You had a staycation? Yeah, a staycation. That's what we called it.

In your whole life, a staycation? Well, hey. But the funniest he did, look, the first thing he did was like,

look, he had one, especially turning it sideways. threw an egg in the air. It hit perfectly on that spasperseller. Cut it. Drop the egg and yolk on it. He just slung the egg thing off on the shell.

Oh, wait. They brought a professional to your home? No, no. Philip did it. McMillan? At his house, yeah. Don't believe it. Oh, no.

And, hey, look, it was actually half decent to eat. Half decent. What a robin. I ate the rice and stuff. Yeah. I mean, I was stunned. It was edible. It was actually.

I was shot now. I was more than stunned. I was shocked. It was edible. It's almost hard to mess it out when he's sticking out. No soy sauce. It was actually funny to watch too. What's that?

Him cook this. I'm watching him do it. Oh, I can only imagine. And I said, hey, you couldn't do that. If you've done it a million times again, you could never make that work like it did. Yeah. There you go.

Because he just threw it up, done like that, and it hung up halfway, and the egg dropped out. He really? It was hilarious. Apparently, I wouldn't know. It was hilarious. I'm guessing he did. I love to hear that Johnny Dees headed these baseball tournaments

because he used to always give me the hardest time of these baseball tournaments. We lost the first game and headed home right after, baby. Oh, single elimination. Well, here's the problem. And, you know, we might need to have Jep on. Because Gus is in the third grade. Benz is in the fourth grade.

Yeah, Gus is a monster. But if you put them next to each other, Gus is about to start driving. Yeah. And Benz is just getting out of the second grade. Gus is in third. Yeah. Yeah, Gus is a monster.

So in this tournament, the school's third graders and the fourth graders faced off in the second round. Yeah. And I'm a fourth grade dad, and all of them were like, the third grade's good, no doubt. They're all like nervous that the third graders are about to beat them. The third graders are just out there about to have fun

because if they accidentally beat them, I don't want to be a fourth grade boy at school today. Yeah. Because they beat them. Oh, yeah, you're supposed to lose if you're the third grade. But the third graders came out there first inning. Two kids hit it to the fence. I walked over, I said,

Chip, did Gus just hit the ball of the fence? He goes, that was the five best hits we've had all year, right out the gate. I said, well, good news is if you win, I'll beat you back to the neighborhood. Yeah. Oh, it was like a school baseball tournament. Oh, other schools. But they were just a couple of the teams.

But yeah, Gus defeated us from across the pond. But Gus was still there when I left. I said, I'm going to throw stuff in your yard, Gus. See you later. Yeah, Gus is probably... He might be on the same side of the pond. Maybe, who knows? Hey, quit spilling secrets on here.

Oh, what is his problem? You know, sadly, I went to Jep's moving. Jep's moving across the pond to see me. I was like, wait, that didn't make any sense. I don't forget about it. I love to hear that a lot of the time. He's doing the travel baseball. Oh, no, no, no.

We are school fall ball. We had one game an hour and a half away at 7.30. Yeah, he ain't spending a weekend in Memphis. Yeah. It rained out. And if it wouldn't have rained out, I would have got, I would ate some of that old turkey again just to avoid it. Just to, yeah, just to not go.

How do you feel about that, Sigh? People are taking their kids hours away to sleep in hotel rooms and play baseball tournaments when their dad is Chad. So, like, we've retired for baseball. They're soccer players now. But how do you feel about travel baseball? I want size of opinion. I wouldn't do it.

Yeah, can it? Get rid of. I wouldn't do it. I feel that way. I had kids that played it. Hey. That's, man.

Now, I feel that. Dad ain't coming. Travel sports in general. Like, it's just weird. The beauty of being a kid is you got to play everything. Like, that's what, I mean, I was on a basketball team.

Trash, mind you, terrible at basketball. But there was nothing else going on. I wouldn't have loved to go back and watch you play back. A husky guy jog up and down the court and decide to rest on offense because he knew he couldn't shoot. It would have been fun to watch. Yeah, I was terrible. That was your favorite sport, Johnny D.

Oh, the best part of that when I was growing up is we had the farmers plate. The what? All the neighborhood farmers. We had a, you know. the old man played the kids yeah yeah yeah y'all got y'all's hilarious y'all got y'all's tail up too didn't you know we had no we had a guy that remind me of your father uh-oh okay he everything i don't know where this is he never look he never he never wore anything but overalls yeah okay here martin bear foot your overalls and like i don't think he had a awesome

any kind of underwear t-shirt on i don't think he owned he would play and look He would run over you, knock you down, and make a layup. Hold on. No, my dad was going to make no layup. The grown men were playing the kids in basketball? Oh, yeah. We bought, y'all. It was a mixed team.

Yeah. We had the farmers and kids, y'all. Oh, no. This guy, this guy, he was the same guy that I tell you that killed a bull. Oh, Lord. Oh, gracious. Man, it punched a cow between the eyes. No, no, look, he bought a bridge.

breeding bull for $20,000. No, no, that was the one that bought a breeding bull for $20,000. Oh, that's him. Oh, here we go. And then killed it. Now, I didn't say 50. They said 50. I said 20. Hunter's about to get fired.

I've always said 20. You just killed $20,000 worth of breeding wool. You went from $50 down to $20. You just paid something like $50,000 for that breeding bull what are we going to do now oh my goodness this is back when he's walking like said he's got overalls on and he's got one in big farmer red hankstuffs that you could i could use it as a blanket yeah it's that big he was walking across the pasture the bull run over him turned around and was coming back and hey he just sidestepped in when he did he hit him right

down the forehead and kill that sucker dead as a hammer punched him yeah and his wife said what am going to do down. He said, hell, call the neighbor, and we pick's a barbecue. It's a barbecue. We're about to have a Macria, baby. Yeah. That's interesting. I don't think that's... But this guy played basketball. There's more in it than you.

He had run over you. I just wouldn't even think of nothing about it. Knock it down. That's how basketball is supposed to play. Well, you know, like that reminds me of NBA. The greatest basketball player ever, Shaquille O'Neill. It reminds me when Charles, what Charles Barkley and the Shack play. Yes, sir. Knock everybody out of the way.

and dunk it and everybody screams and says oh boy that is the greatest in the world they are and knocking people down and dunking it yeah they're seven foot tall and weigh 400 pounds it's not their fault yeah they change the game it ain't telling it's just too much man for some of the other players you try being

seven foot tall 400 pounds of dunkin well hey I'm just telling you hey or dribbling if I didn't refrate a shack would have fouled out in the first three minutes Here we go again. On you? He'd have been on the bank. You'd have never made it three minutes against shot.

That boy would have hurt you so bad. He's called a foul, though. Fight back. Oh, boy. I wasn't very good at basketball. You don't fight back with that kind of weights on. That's true. Oh, you just kind of sit there and take it.

You just got to get knocked down and then get back up. I'm surprised you weren't better at basketball, considering if you're bigger than everybody else. No, I'm terrible. I couldn't shoot, man. You don't have to shoot when you're that big. Yeah, but I didn't have no vertical or nothing. I mean, I was, buddy, I had to go to the special shed to get Wade for football season.

There wasn't no getting that off the ground. My fast switch muscles had not developed at that moment. I did go talk. The only fastest switch I had was getting Johnny's pizza out to dagging refrigerator. So I'm just like, I mean, that's all I had in me. That's funny. I actually told Jeff that story because he was saying, yeah, football they had to weigh Gus to make sure he wasn't too big and I was like Martin for different

reasons had to be weighed yeah you go on the end you go on that shed down there on the end go see mr eK he gets you right I still 49 and a half every time for three straight years I never gained a pound yeah I'm asking okay okay yeah okay okay okay was the way in official out there at wolfba or however you say I don't, Wolf, Woffa back in the day. Swahsa, now. Let's watch all little boys football. Oh, no, it's Womfa. Yeah, Wufa.

Yeah. I played one year there. Oh, man, yeah. You went to the shed on the end for the offensive lineman. That's where they all got weight because they had that weight restriction on everybody. So now they just have weight restriction just for runners. Like if you're running the ball. Yeah, that was ever in my future.

Oh, nobody could tackle you. I made the hole. he opened the lane You didn't have to tackle me I'd tackle myself You seen that turf monster man I'd a eight dirt in sixth grade Trying to run with a football

I wish I had some of the foot The footage of me playing That's a football Oh me too So do we Because I didn't have no sense I'd hit anybody Yeah

Y'all and we played We played AAA schools And I play I play monster man. The whole deal was go to the football. Yeah. So look, I'm back out of y'all,

they hiked the ball. The guards cross-block, you could have drove an 18-wheeler sideways to it. Y'all? Well, I'm running,

I started to hit the quarterback, and I said, I ain't going to make it. And they had a running back that was about all five, eight, maybe, weighed about $2.75.

I just had no neck. You know, he just had a head on top of a body. And it was like this right here. Boom, pooh. Well, I hit him. A lot like this, y'all. I look, basically. Behind, eight yards behind the quarterback.

I tackled him 45 yards behind me. I finally tripped him up and made him fall. Just rode on him. After he just beat me to death with his feet knees. What did you weigh in high school, sir? 1.30. 1.30. That's after they soak me down my whole uniform and everything.

Hold on. When did you weigh 130 last? Oh, me? Yeah. I'm going to say like 40. He's never weighed 130. I'm going to say third or fourth grade. See, I don't think I've ever weighed 1.30.

Yeah, I mean, unless he's in kindergarten. I don't know. I know in fourth and fifth grade, like, you cannot run the ball if you weigh 129, I think. So that's the weight limit. Yeah, offensive linemen when I did, it was 150 pounds sixth grade. Because once you got junior high, that didn't matter. Like you were just part of the squad then. You were.

Yeah. You were trying to be good enough so you could make the high school scout team until you realized exactly what that meant, like, that they were about to pound your brains in three weeks working on playoffs. Playoffs. Yeah. But I weighed like probably like 1.15 in junior high. And then I just immediately went to like 180 in high school, like over a week.

Yeah. I don't know that there's a... I grew that way. You're so tall. There's a scale in there where you... Hey, look, I was so skinny when I was in the 12th grade and played on the 18th. Yeah. I also played the freshman team.

Huh. And I would kill them. Which high school was it? Because I had more knowledge in. That's right. They did. You were 30% older than them. 30% older.

And I'm sure all your older brothers were giving you some... Oh, no. Yeah. He knew how to find a lot. No, no, Coach Sigris, my coach, you know, head coach on my senior year. He said, hey, look, you know, I had to leave right in the middle of it and he graduated somewhere. He said, hey, look, I can get you a walk on over at Tech, you know, Coach AIA. And I said, have you lost your mind?

I said, coach, I weigh 130 pounds. I said, I've been in the locker room at Tech, feel place. Y'all Tommy plays. Yeah. I've been in there. I said, hey, I'm a kid. I said, those are grown men, big grown men. I said, no.

I said, I love the game, but I ain't stupid. Are kids getting bigger? 100%. Absolutely. Yeah. And some of these high school football players nowadays, yeah. They're giants.

I mean, they ain't going to be long. Gus going to have an NIL deal. Oh, no. I don't know who's going to sign him, but you better get in on the ground floor right now. I still can't believe Gus is in third grade. colleges and and pros will be watching if he's good enough. Oh, yeah.

And they'll be making offers. You know, hey, look. Because the coaches in Little League is better. High school is better. You know, just, you know, just coaches are way better. I wonder when does NIL stop now that that box has been open? Are there going to be high school players getting paid to play? I don't know how that works.

Oh, it'll go down that way. But if someone who eventually drop down and get to the. that level. Yeah. Who's only played against our neighbor across the pond, Gus versus Ben's. You know, we have to have a talk that some people are born with things that we're not born with every time we leave the field. Yeah, remember that.

Black football, baseball. It's like, hey, you know. Remember that lie when I told you you could be anything you wanted to be? Hey. I lied, son. You ain't going to be as fast as him. Yeah. You ain't going to beat Gus at baseball.

Sorry. You got one day. But it ain't today. Yeah. But it's, well, I spent a hard every day. Now, Terry Bradshaw only wanted one thing out of this life to be an NFL quarterback. That's all.

Yeah, that's good. He did it. Everybody said, oh, no, he's too stupid. He'll never make it in the pros. He'll live and he said, yeah, yeah, well, all he's got to do is get a coach that knows talent when they see it. There you go. And hey, they run up on one and, hey, four Super Bowl rings later.

I would just like to give a round of applause to a man that's older than me that stepped back on the football field and played NFL quarterback this weekend. Phillip. River. He just needed insurance. Not only that. Bravo, Mr. Rivers. And played well. That's what I'm talking about.

44. Yeah. 44 went out there and spun it. That is. Somebody made just a little statement. He's got a great kid. He's got a good hand-eye coordination. Yeah.

Somebody made just a little statement. Well, hey, let's wait a couple more games to watch after he gets hit two or three times real hard. Who cares? If you go out there and do it once at 44? Right. Bravo. I'm impressed by people that do it at 30. Well, I take my hand off for him for going out there.

Yeah, bravo, my friend. 44, that's a little too old. Did they win? No, they lost. Yeah. It was sad. But he did it. He did it.

He did it. I mean, he did it. He played as good as any 44-year-old man. Hey, I'm going to tell you. Yeah, who's been sitting at the house. Hey, they've had some of the best games of football. It's almost like it's theater. No, no.

I mean, they're doing things that are just unreal. No, it's not the, it's no longer a scam because the Saints are winning. No. You know they're, you know they don't want that to happen. They're making catches that is just unbelievable. And then he's not only make the catch, but hold on to it when the guy is knocking you in the head. I need a sports center special that's called SVP and SI. Yeah, just side doing the highlight reel.

Yeah, with Scott Van Pell. Oh, that would be great. Oh, hey, I would watch. Hey, if I'd have been to announce on that, I would have been busted people's ear drums. Tell me, did you see that? No. I got nervous.

Yeah. Greatest catch ever. My favorite part is that you're watching old games, and you might get lost on the ACC network and think Notre Dame played Miami ten times. Hey, that's why they boys get paid to big bucks. Big bucks. Yeah, they do now.

They do now. They do now. They do now. They do now. They do now. Real, real. Oh, my goodness, Grace. He ripped off him too.

The last one I've seen another day, one, 155 million. What? Yeah. Not in college. Yeah, he gets paid like the LSU coach. Oh, yeah,

I'd about to say not. $155 million for what, a seven-year contract. I think it's come out $31,000, $31 million a year. It'd be hard for me to wake up and go to work. All right. Time me with $155 million and like $140,000 of that's I said, bye. Oh, man, it's going to be hard. It's going to be hard for me to wake up. It's going to be hard for me to care. I said, Merrill, here's your deal.

Murrell. You know, make that, make that make me, you know. Who's Merle? Oh, Merle Lynch. Merrill. Oh, oh, Merrill. Merrill. Not Merrill. Keep this where it's just making me money while I spend it all 50 million a year. Who's Merle? He said, oh, Mr. Lynch. You want to spend 50 million a year. You go out to make more than 150. That ain't going to last you too long.

Because you're going to have a bad. No, who was that? One of the pros was giving everybody the financial advice on that. He said, oh, no, you got, you got to be able to, you know, do something with this. You just, you know, you don't realize, you know, how fast it goes. 100%. No. Ask, oh, Dave.

Oh, big Dave? No. and Theo Vaughn been one of the greatest things that happened to Vanderbilt he way better in Diego Pavia he brought way more eyes

to Vanderbilt football than the quarterback did so oh good yeah but if you how many how many teams have we got a bunch

of what okay I just need you to if you knew what all of the teams okay the amount of money they spend every year it's a lot

it's a lot it's Billions. Billions. Well, hey, how do you, how do you, how do you, you can't help but going back from it. You're paying out billions. You know how much we spend on said teams?

They're making a lot of money. Yeah. Yeah. They, they do. Be sure to use code duck at checkout. Trust me. They're not in the negative on this deal,

even paying all that stuff out. They're still profitable. That's what's amazing. Yeah. Well, that just shows how much it's spent. How much money that it. matters.

Yeah. Except for... I think they're all just printing stuff in a room somewhere. I was looking at one and looking at... I was looking at the stadium. No, anymore. They just need a decimal places. You have to deal with it.

And I mean, hey, you couldn't have stuck another human being in that thing. And what? In the stadium. Oh, yeah. I mean, it was packed. And I thought to myself, I wonder how much money they spent all them people that was in that stadium. A lot.

A lot. A lot. Man, I went to a head coach offers you three season tickets. I went to a game. I forget him which game it was, but I was with my kid. I've read all the Michigan articles. He wanted to go. Chandler wanted a pretzel.

The pretzel was like $12 for a pretzel. Hey, no chance, Chad Krill signed off on that. He got the pretzel. Then he wanted a water. Oh, he was. It was like $6. I said he doesn't need water. You're going to make yourself a joke?

You don't get a drop pretzel? You ain't get no $12 bottle of water. And the only reason why he got the pretzel because we hadn't had dinner. Chad, question. When you go to a restaurant, because Noah, dude,

when you go to a restaurant, do you order for your kids? Water? No, I'm talking about their meal because you're like, you don't eat that much. But I can say nothing irritates me more than spending $4 on a drink that they're going to take two sips out of.

No. So I ordered water immediately for everybody. It's all the way. Yeah. I love this guy. Like immediately. Dude, love, Chad. It's a pretzel, man.

You have to have water. But it is a big. I can't get that. That is the driest substance on earth next to the Sahara Desert. It's a concession. There was a water fountain. It's a big press. You had to go to the water fountain.

You want to talk about Montezuma's revenge. Use a public water fountain. Does it work? When was last time you saw a working public water fountain? That night, we used it. I'm trying to think of it. I'm trying to figure out when I saw a water fountain. I saw one at the baseball thing.

Forget working, just a water fountain. And Benz goes, Dad, can I have some of your water? I said, go hit that water fountain. He goes, Dad, do you know how many mouths have been on that? And I was like, what is wrong with our society? When you were also. But when you were in school, did y'all have the good water fountain? Like the one that shot up a little bit higher.

so you didn't have to do that way better than the one on the left way better than the one on the right that's what i'm saying like everybody you're like no go over go now that one right there trash then you got to get down there make out with it like yeah yeah that's what it felt like there's a good one but look so where i went to elementary now alison teaches there and the water fountains are still there they still got them yeah your spit is still on that hold on the story gets worse so i'm there the other day. I don't remember why. I was like, I'm about to head and I'm like, oh, sweet a water fountain. I go press the button. Nothing.

Nothing. I said, gang. Press the other one? Nothing. I said, did these not work? They go, oh no, this had been turned on in like five years. Why are they still there? They're taking them away. Do you know what I would do? You need to put in a water fountain at the H.H.

That'd be tight. You need a water fountain that on him. But I mean, remember when you were a kid and your whole dream was- They need a water fountain in this place. Was to have a water fountain in your room? Like with Hawaiian Punch or Yoooo or something? Never had that dream. You never thought like if I get a million dollars one day,

I'm going to put a water fountain in my house. It spits out Yoooohoo. Hawaii and Punch. I only went with, I'm getting a urinal. Urinal money is almost boat money. That's what I'm talking about. Chad, do you have a urinal? Yeah, he does.

Oh, you do. Chad got a urinal. $130. $130. For the urinal? For the urinal? Is it second hand? No.

When I was building the house. Chad, I don't have a spot for a urinal in my house. That's the difference. Don't you $130 me. You built a room for the urinal? No. It's in the bathroom. He's not stalls.

It's kind of weird. No, no. I actually put in two urinals. One of my office upstairs. There's a second urinal I've never seen. One of the outside. bath but it's right right in front of this kind of a prime that that is who you won't run in your personal finance right and that man got two urinal you wanted a water fountain or a urinal both

require excess funds that's yeah that's or you just make your child choke on a pretzel and you can afford it heck wow sorry chad that really ended up poor for you real though but time out That's cool that you have urinals, and you're right. What? But every person I've ever known that has a urinal, they have some serious change. Yeah, I only know one other person. Who?

Well, we- One of Chad's good friends. Willie? No. Willie has a urinal. Their kids play sports together. Willie has a urinal. Holman.

Yeah, Mr. Holman. Now look, their heroes. I doctor in town. I remember the first time when I walked in because he had redone his barn or whatever, and I was like, yeah, we got us a urinal. The eye doctor in town that does the laser stuff to people's eyes. Uh-huh.

I went to high school with his son. Urinal. Urinal. Same type of Chad situation, too. It's just a bathroom in the outdoors. It's like, what's this door to? To go in the house? Nope, just a bathroom with the urinal.

Yeah. And I was like, these people are you getting ready to break ground on the house? Are you putting in a urinal? 100%. Please do. He's got two boys. One hundred percent. I'm considering it, but now I must.

I mean, to prove. If you could give a little separation of church and state between the urinal and the water fountain, though, I'd appreciate it. He will want a water fountain in my home. Yeah. That's, that you didn't have that dream? I did.

Like a Hawaiian punch water fountain. Did you chat? No, but that sounds like something you would have seen on blank check. When's the last time you've seen that movie? There you go. Exactly. It was a genius.

Yeah. There you go. It's so funny when you look at the numbers, what was spent in that movie, you know, as in 90s to make it, you're the only loser I know that would do that. You looked at the number?

No, no, it's just so funny to like be like, a million dollars bought this man, you know, there's all kinds of stuff. And it's like, yeah, yeah, wouldn't happen today.

A million dollars ain't going to get you very far. It's not going to get you very far. Man, it'd get me far enough, but it ain't going to get you real. Not like the blank check move. Yeah. Not to make it look like,

look like, I would love to have a million dollars. A million dollars. I would love to have a million dollars. now just puts you upper middle class. Like, I mean, it, you go through that. It was funny. But I do think you went through it, what, in about two weeks?

It was pretty. Yeah, I could beat that. Wouldn't take me long either. Mr. Deeds had a Hawaiian Punchwater fountain. Is that where it come from? That's where your dream came. I was trying, I was like, I know somebody had one. Yeah, because I'm like, I just, that never, that wouldn't one of them.

I appreciate it was a goal. And I think you can do it. You can do it now. I have no idea how much you want to. I don't want, I just want water now. I'm mature. There you go. All right.

Let's get out of here, man. What verse? Water fountains are expensive. Holy cow. Dad finds you a good one barely used. Here's one like back in the gap. There's verses about fountains. Oh, baby.

I don't know what kind of water you got, but I got your water right here. John 414, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life. So your goal may be to have a water fountain in your house one day, which is pretty cool. Yeah. But the living water. That's the way better.

That's the one that way better. That's the metaphor right there. Look at there. And you can get rid of all that bad water in your urinal. So where's the size advice? Where's size of it? We went over, Chad. We appreciate traffic.

I got to go back to work. Size advice was watching the NFL. Living water.