Duck Call Room - Uncle Si Will Never Forget His First Kiss

Episode Date: October 4, 2022

Si remembers his first kiss like it was yesterday, which has all the boys trying to recall their first kisses. John-David and Si freak out over an emotional support alligator in Pennsylvania. Martin takes up the big debate: Do beans belong in chili? Godwin almost lost his boat on the way to do some Sunday fishing. Godwin thinks Si could start a new crop top fashion trend. And John-David is shocked to find out NASA intentionally collided with an asteroid in space.  - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

That is awesome. Pandera hat on, boys. Tell me about it. Look. He's got that thing. That's tripping me out, bro. Magnets are wild. That pin is up.

How do they work? That pen is straight a lot of them. I need a P. Look at that pen. Yeah. Well, it's all about fields. Huh? Fields.

That's how they work. It's all about fields. Who's Phil? Bill Robertson? Magnets. We're defying gravity now. Oh, F-E-I-L-D-S. Fields.

He says field. The magnetic field. The magnetic field. Not to be confused with shield. That's right. I almost nailed it. That's a shillard. That foul got me the other day playing with this other one.

Yeah, we got too many toys on these things. Are we going yet? I think so. I think so. Are we going? Welcome back. There you go. Martin, do your welcome back thing.

This is the podcast. A podcast of threes. Threes. Three's. But there's four of us. I know, but we're going with three. The first one is, how did everything you see get here? Uh-oh.

Okay. In the second... My man had a good night's sleep. He'd been studying this morning. He had a good night. The second one is, okay, what is the purpose of everything, including us? So how do you get here? The other one, after all is said and done,

And the final countdown have been counted down. The final count. Yeah. That's it. What's your destination? What's your destination? Well, pastor, why don't you go ahead and preach? Well, how's your saying?

I like it. Hey, put that in your hum box and complementate it on it. That's the wrong word. Compentate it? Compton say that ten times real fast. No, I can't say it. I can't say it right. That one.

Contemplate. What is the word I'm looking at? Contemplate. Contemplate. He's kind of the word. Thank seriously about it. Contemplate. You'll use them.

Well, have you been contemplating this morning? Yes, I have. What you've been? And, hey, look, the only thing it did was, okay, is I'm sitting here. I'd sign a bunch of stuff. And I looked down and I'm bleeding. My man sprung a leak. I sprung a leak.

You're working to. The pressure. This old hide of mine, it actually tore about a lot. a quarter inch. Underneath this bandage. I'm going to let it. That's Dr. Justin Martin. Oh, wait, Martin, you bandages him up this?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, he doesn't sewed him up. He's in practice for the years to come. Yeah. Because he's fixed to have two that's just going to have all kind of boboats. Oh, yeah. All kind of boboats. So what happened to you?

I just started bleeding. Oh, we looked down. He was bleeding. I'd bleed him. Yeah. He said, well, probably this was probably had caught and tore. The rubber. The rubber band?

My warning wristband. Warning. About, hey, he has been fooled with on the right side of his lungs. Because I can't pronounce a... Pumatox. Pumatic thorax risk. Sure. Close enough.

Pneumatic. Yeah. There you go. That's something about, hey, tires. Tires. What? That shocks. Shocks, too.

Shoxton. Newman. The P. Silent. Why is it there? Why is it there? Hey, Asthace. Gannat.

Phil Roberts gets to say you. Because he was an English major. Pinamonia. What were you? Major? I was a dropout. That's what I was. Unreal.

Oh, no. It was real. He's been, he's going to have to kick. I thought that a long time ago. He's got a little while, though, before he starts band-a-dating up. him youngans. Well, look, before we go too far. I was about to say, we didn't know if you were going to be here today, and you are.

Here I am. Yeah. No, we've been instructed to try and get to Monday. Monday. The final words were, I'll see you Monday if I don't see you before then. Ah, yeah. In other words, don't rush this process. That's right.

Look, if you hear over in the corner, moaning and groaning. I've been hearing that for two weeks. And saying couldn't, wooden, can't. Shouldn't. Just don't worry about it. It's just contractions. I get it. Couldn't, shouldn't, wouldn't.

Oh. I was like, I think those are like the main thing you look out for. Now, that one's a little more educated joke by Galvin. That's why I didn't get it. Yeah. That one, that one you, yeah, okay. I like it. So you're going to have October babies.

Yeah. Golly Monday. Oh, Hammer. We still got two days left in September. They may not make October. Are you going to be sitting on a boat? staying October 1st? No.

If I do, I'm going to end up at moleherns on October 2nd. That would be the local funeral home. Well, they can call you. Huh? She can call you? Yeah.

Yeah, no, I know better. Deer season go to January 31st. I ain't got to be there for day. I've already been deer house. I was sitting on Deer's down when Joe Hano was born. No. Yeah? Well, she is adopted.

Did you kill anything? There is. I forgot that part of it. Okay, that makes sense. I had a little more leeway. Yeah. There you go. There you go.

You ain't going to pull that one over on me. You ain't going to shame me for not being there October 1st. I don't care. It goes to January 31st. We got plenty of time to kill deer. I'm not worried about that. And I still got a little stag meat from last year. I ain't in a bind right now.

We've been getting our deer hunting. spot ready me and miss baller she she up first or you she's up first she's up first she's up first boys the pressure's on she's always up first y'all draw straws or you just no i just want to watch her there you go that's good i like that servant man he's a servant mhm she's all riled up over i mean she didn't even start deer hunting until she's 50 she shoots one and she's like i get it now there it is she said i just provided us with some meat that we can eat. I put food on the table.

She said. She just had to get that nest empty. And then we went to the camp and she, we dropped. She said, well, we need to clean up. No. No, getting our recliner out there. We've been taking a nap. No time, no.

You know, her, she can't be still. And she finally got around to it and sitting out recliner. and we took a nap, she woke up and she said, okay, I get it. Blood pressure medicine. Oh, yeah. She wasn't. If she ever ended up at Wyoming, she wouldn't ever come back.

Oh, man. Oh, she's done. Have me in debt buying property and everything. But, yeah, so that's the deal. Look, we'll take our first break. We'll get back right after this. All right, look, springtime is here. It's warming up.

You know what that means. That means more outside cooking. And y'all know we love to eat beef around here. And that's what because of our friends over at Triedells beef makes such a good product, baby. Ain't it good? It's so good. Our friend, Sao Robertson would say, buy on the grill! Look, before we got Triedells, getting ready for a cookout, man, somebody had to run the grocery store, do all the things, grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day.

And you never really know where that beef come to them. But with Triedale's beef, we skipped the grocery store. and do it a different way. Triedails comes from a family ranch out in Texas. They're a fifth generation American ranch, so they've been at it for a while. Now, look, the beef comes straight from their ranch and other ranchers they work with

who raise cattle the same way. Their steaks are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door. We threw a couple of ribbys on the grill. Look, salt, pepper, garlic, hot fire, that's all you need. Look, because I'll tell you what, when the beef comes from people who raise cattle

for a living, you can taste the difference. The tenderness and the fire. flavor are fantastic. So if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season, go check out Triedails beef. I know in size case Christine loves it, which is just a, uh, she doesn't eat me. She ain't a big meat easier, folks. Yeah. Just go to trybeef.com slash. That's trybeef.com slash support ranch families and eat some dang good steak. Well, Godwin, I can't help but notice you, you're like the incredible shrinking man here beside me. You're doing good, son. Boy, everything that's good, I can't eat.

Let me tell you what, Miss Johanna, she had, she made a shepherd's pie the other day. Yeah. With cauliflower as the taters. Yeah. And it was, she had them sauced up. It was good. I was surprised.

Collier. And it's actually good for you. Yeah. They finally figured out what they're not. out what they say with all that left over cauliflower. Just turn it into other stuff. Pizza class. Oh, she had it.

It was, I'd had it before somewhere and it was kind of running. I'm like, man. She had it. It was. Don't make you run. He got it down pat. Yeah, don't make it runny. No, it wasn't runny.

The real question is, is it good or you just ain't had it? It's good. You ain't had nothing good in so long it seems good. Well, that might be it. That may be it. Is it somewhat of a placebo effect? You know what? I want a stinking hamburger. Well, go get you one.

Just throw the bun away. I got bad news for you, guys. Yesterday I found out we're getting one of them Freddy's frozen custards and steak burgers in West Monroe. Uh-oh. Are we really? Where's that at? Chicken Express, old building. Really?

That one got a chance to make it, too. That's a good place. Yeah. Well, I won't be going. You might. You get it whoop? Yeah, you get it whoop. Then we can go.

With the milk? Oh, that little thing you stick on your arm. Uh-huh. And you put your phone. Them things. I keep ripping them things off. Limbing up deer stand, you know, putting lemming up deer standers out there.

And, boy, tore it off my arm, put a new one on, go out there and working about two days later. I ripped that and all. I can't keep them on there. He's a very active young man. you are spry I'm gonna have to put it on the back I guess

you put it on you can you put it like right there it'll be pretty safe right there I don't know it hurt like the dickens but I thought those didn't hurt I don't know it seems like it

it didn't hurt ripping out you look at it and you go when you pull it off you put a new one on yeah that thing got a needle looks like two miles long in it

it ain't really but but you know I just don't like needle So how are you doing? You still on the medicine and all that stuff? Are you clear?

This is what I'm doing. I'm taking ginger. Ginger. Like the tea? I'm taking two pills every morning. Of ginger? Of ginger. I got all that medicine.

He's making my stomach hurt. Yeah. But. The ginger helping? Yeah. So far. I mean, we're going to try it and see. If it don't work, we'll get back on the medicine.

Well, ginger. ought not make your stomach hurt, ain't that what they give you for knowledge of me? So that ought to help. Yeah, that ought to help both ways. Brittany ate enough of that stuff in the first six weeks. Just straight ginger? I think I'm pretty sweet. Ginger, ginger, candy, like just.

Ginger ale? Ginger ale. I thought people only drank that on airplanes. Not ginger. What am I saying? I don't know. That's what you said. That pink stuff.

Ginger, is that what it is? Pink stuff? What is that they get when you go eat? Cushy. Peptobismo? No. It's on the side of your plate. Pepperica?

No. That is ginger. It's ginger? I thought the white was pickled ginger. Excuse me. I didn't mean to say ginger. But I'd like to have some. Cinnamon.

Cinnamon. You're taking cinnamon? Cinnamon. Oh. And you eat cinnamon with your sushi? No. Well, that's good. I'm confused.

All right. Let's start over. Let's start over. Start over, start over. Ask me if I'm taking my medicine. Are you taking your medicine? No. Why?

Why ain't you taking your medicine? Because I'm taking cinnamon. I'm taking two pills of cinnamon. Cinnamon pills? Yes, sir. That's exactly right. So what does cinnamon actually do? It lowers your glucose level.

Glucose. Did I say that right? Is that why they put it on like? French toast and stuff. Counteractive sugar. Yeah, but you can't have the bread. Cinnamon toast crunch. But you can't have the sugar.

Can't have cinnamon toast. I could eat a bunch of it. Cinnamon toast crunch is a great cereal. Yeah, pour it in a big cup and pour milk on top of it. Yeah, here it is. Cinnamon may help lower blood sugar and fight diabetes by imitating the effects of insulin and increasing glucose transport into cells. There you go.

That makes sense now. So you're on the cinnamon I'm on the cinnamon If it don't work Like I said I'll have to go back On the medicine But we're gonna try it

I feel a lot better And he doesn't hurt your stomach They got cinnamon pills The medicine is hurting your stomach So goblin's like pumpkin spice right now It is October It is Is it

All you need is some ugs and some leggings Son you'd be You'd be really celebrating this part I got an old Miss game this week Yeah guarantee Oh they're gonna have a cool helmet Who's that Oh Miss

Oh, the rebels, yeah. Yeah, they're wearing the camouflage. Yeah. Rishing camouflage, yeah. They better do something because Kentucky's coming and Kentucky's good. Oh, and Kentucky. And we ain't talking about basketball. Yeah, we actually called them out earlier.

We got an email from a Kentucky fan, which I didn't know there was a Kentucky football fan, but apparently there's a couple. Yeah. And they were like, no, we're at football school now. They'll come out to woodworks now. Well, I'm going to watch the game. When is it Saturday?

Saturday at 11. At 11. You go, why? You're going to watch football? Miss Paul would better stick that thing pretty early. You ain't hunting until 11. Come on. No.

I get daylight 6.30. It'll be, let's see. But they ain't been moving, and I've been looking on that camera. That camera, and they ain't been moving until 8.30. 8.30. That's a good thing. That's a marathon sit there. Yeah.

But at least the skaters will be gone by then. Boy, did it feel good this morning. Yeah, it's been nice. We finally got a little weather down in here in the south. Oh, I put a hoodie on today just to feel like I'm at home again. Yeah, so you could. Oh, I was so excited. I bet you them fish are back.

I'm kind of scared to go fishing. Why? Because I got home from church other day. It took me a little nap. That was blessed rest. You get the best rest on Sunday because it's blessed, you know. That is. There is nothing like a Sunday afternoon.

No. And I got up, and I went out there and backed up to my boat, cranked it down, on the ball, hook my chains up, hooked in my deal, and then something happened. I've done something. I don't know. Then I went and unplugged my battery. I got in there and took off. Took off.

I got about six miles down the road, went over a bridge, my boat come off the trailer. Not off the trailer, off the ball Oh, the trailer come off the ball Wait, your trailer came off your truck? Yeah That's just as bad as a boat Coming off the trailer almost Yeah

Did it tear up in? I used to think Oh yeah He looked at it He said, oh yeah That stank and sea arc's a tank It gets into a vehicle It says, no

I'm going through you It hits your truck Yeah tore my Blanker out on my passenger side The tail light And it hit right there under Between the bumper

And the light It put a crease in there How fast were you going? About 30 That's scary I was coming to a stop time And it just Come loose

Goh Boy, let me see Didn't put it all the way down I used to think You know I'd hear about it I'd say, them idiots. Well, let me tell you what them idiots do.

Them idiots do what I just told you. They back up to their trailer, they jack the hitch down on the ball. They put their jack up. They put their chains on. They plug the thing on, and they go do something else. And they don't latch it. They walk off and don't latch it. That's what the...

No, it popped up all for them. the ball. Yeah. He didn't latch. He didn't have it latch. I didn't latch. There it is. Yeah.

Yeah, see. That's what they're media. I ain't going to say I'll never do it. That's the first time I ever doing it. But that's the first thing I do is put that and pop that pin in it before I even mess with a chain or anything else. Okay, it ain't going nowhere. I'm so, every time I drive a trailer, I'm like, I'm so nervous. I'm like, something bad is about to happen.

I had to go get my golf cart with the, you know, which is my boat because it's got rod holders on the side because it's the most red. Well, there's so much junk to remember to do. And I was so, I was the whole time, I was like, this golf car is going to fly off at any moment. No, it didn't. It's hard to do, but. So now, I got to get a rude. I need to put me a note on the steering wheel.

Latch. Don't forget me. Put you a sticker on there. Make sure this is latched. But nobody else was involved? No. Where was you use it to four way right there to church and all of? No, I was going to Darbaran.

I cut through. Guyton Road, Guyton church. Yeah. Gaiton Swamp Road? No, that's over by Sini. Oh, yeah. But I think it's... Anyway, it's over a bridge right there

where you come out at Wilderness Stakers. Oh, you went that way. Yeah. Yeah, I got you. I got you. It went over that bridge. Well, I'm stunned it made it that far. Yeah.

Before it did it. Did you catch anything? Yeah. Oh. Because you kept going? I said, no. I'm going. That's what I'm talking about.

I tried to do that the morning. I hit the deer with my boat. Oh, yeah. My truck said, no, you ain't. No, you ain't going to. I look at Brittany. I said, what do we do? I said, we're going to go to the lake.

I mean, I ain't worried about it. And then all my gauge is went, you know, I said, no, we're going to pull over right here. Never mind. Okay, we're okay. We passed me and Stone passed him on the side of the road. I said, it didn't even help. Just kept on going. I said, that looked like Martin.

Mm-hmm. There I was, broke down, fluids coming out of my truck. Oh, you come back? I know. No, you called. I said, no, go fishing, son. I said, don't worry about me. I ain't nothing we can do here, but wait.

Ain't anything you can do. Go catch me some. Bring me some back. Yeah, no, that's. Good, great. Yeah, that's a bad deal. But, hey, you're fine. Your truck's drivable.

Your boat's fine. Yeah. It could have been a lot worse. It's thinking of tell, you got to buy the, well, I had to buy the whole assembly anyway, but $132. Well, yeah. It's only fitting itchy truck is about two inches narrow than it used to be. That's the way all of ours end up. I got a crease right there, but...

It'd be a right. It was going to happen eventually. Old age is creeping in. Start forgetting things. At some point, you just let the truck go and just have dings and everything all in it. I swear I'm had in that 2012. You don't even care anymore. You dare somebody pull up.

My dad got a new truck. He don't like driving it. He kept the old one because, you know, he accidentally set a fire on it. And there's more, and them trees ain't got a lot of give when you're back into them. Yeah. So it's just, you know. The sense of freedom you get from driving a paid off vehicle is unlike any other. Just tear it up.

Who cares? You just, it don't matter anymore. Whatever. All right. Well, let's take another break. Godwin, I'm sorry to hear that. We'll be back right over. I'm glad you're okay.

I'm glad he caught fish. Where to? I don't know. So I started off with a bunch to say, and now he ain't got nothing to say. He ain't got nothing to say. He ain't got nothing to say. I've given them time to think about it. What's under his shirt?

No, no, no. No, I got a question. Where did you get that shirt? I have no idea. That's a pretty cold-looking shirt. I like it. But I've seen it, and I said, well, I'll just wear it. Is it just a white t-shirt with a sticker on it?

Nope. It was a gospel symbols on it. Oh, it's like a big. like a giant iron on patch. Yeah. Oh. Oh. Huh.

I thought he had something under his shirt. Did somebody make that for you? I think Lester did. Lester did. I think he did, but I'm not sure. I thought, because looking over here like he had a bulletproof vest on, I thought he was worried for his life. I didn't know what was that.

Well, Lester'd get me a life. Already, look, and I got blood on it. Uh-oh. That's terrible. That's all of it. That's terrible. You just bleed it away. That'd be all right.

Christine need us up. Cut it off. Just cut it off. No. Middrift shirt. No. A belly shirt? We'll bring him back in style.

Crop top. You could do it, sir. No, I can't. If you wore something like that, everybody would wear something like that. I don't know that I would. That'd be a shame to wear it. No, I'd wear it. No.

I ain't any shame to my belly. Then you'd have that big old belly out there. Worked hard for it, didn't? Oh, what? Well, his belly. way smaller mine keeps creeping back into the picture i ain't wearing it well you gotta quit eating all that good stuff i know all the good stuff been getting me lately falling off the wagon i gotta get back on it yeah i can't afford to fall off

i do sugar go up and i don't know what happens just taking more cinnamon i don't want to find out cinnamon oh man yeah it was dropping out dropping my alarm that thing that word alarm would go off that's probably what happened to your boat trailer it probably went off and you went to check it and you forgot that's probably what got you no no i was trying to give you benefit of the doubt here well i'll it wasn't my thought i agree it ain't his fault oh my favorite part of that whole story let me tell you what them idiots do yeah i know exactly what they do born up.

My goodness, Greg. When did these three questions you brought up Earth, when did that pop in? Well, I just been thinking about it. He's been thinking about it. What's the... They didn't just pop in in like a dream through outer space again? Well, no, this was the, you know,

everything that's going on in this world. Uh-huh. That is just totally out of control. Well, what do you think about us launching a satellite into an asteroid? How do you feel about that? Well, that's a... What? That's one of them...

I mean, it was an object in space. I don't know. That's a preemptive extract. I haven't heard. Preemptive. What are we doing? We're practicing for the real thing if it ever really happens.

A big asteroid headed towards this planet. Like Armageddon? Oh, yeah. Like the movie? I'm just saying. I don't think Bruce Willis was involved. Yeah, we'll just call Bruce Willis. He can drill, man.

If you need a whole dog, that's the guy. I would like you, how would you like the old jump on the asteroid? Oh, I'd like it. I'm not interested. And then start drilling a hole in it and then play with dynamite. I don't really like leaving Louisiana, so I'm not really interested in going to space. Space would be awesome. Just think he'd be floating around.

The world's first planetary defense. So we're literally dropping bombs on asteroids, see if we can move them? Oh, yeah. In case Armageddon does happen? Hey, change to chast, through chains. is the trajectory of it. Is that what they didn't blow it up? And make it bypass us.

Yeah, they was like trying to pull a, like a block. Did they knock it off? A pick play, if you would. Did they knock it off its course? Like a pick and roll. We intentionally collided 6.8 million miles away from Earth. That's too far to walk. Yeah, it's too far to drive.

I don't know. I'm trying to read. There you go. That was our first try. Well, he's reading. But why are they trying it? That's the question. Well, apparently, just in case.

It's a JIC move. Because there's a danger of it actually happening. Yeah, I don't think it's a just-in-case. No. Oh, he thinks it's practice. Oh, no, that's what it is. Yeah. I think they know something.

This is actually, you know, it's a possibility. We're going to start something here. I think they know something's coming. So then the Italians sent a camera to follow it. 6.8 million miles away? I guess. No. I'm just, I'm reporting.

It is CNN that I'm reading, so who knows? What is it? Drone? I don't know. I think all we did was hit it. I don't think we moved it. We just made it mad. How do they know they hit it if it's what, 6.4 and 8 million miles away?

Well, they sent, who knows? Johnny D in Space Store. Oh, no, no. I'm just saying, I doubt it. I'm just saying you can't trust everything you read on CNN. That's all I'm going to say. That's like the deal about, okay, I ate 4 billion years old. Astro?

I know we've got a deal that we can look at the layers of our planet and all that and get an estimate of how old it is. How do they do that age something out of? And how do they calibrate the machine that does it? What we learned. Carbon dating. Carbon dating. Yeah, carbon dating.

What's a deal? The layers of the earth. Yeah. Okay. What's the difference of a cat and a comma? What's the difference between a cat and a comma? Yeah. Garfield, lasagna.

I'd have got nothing. A cat has paws, I mean, claws. A cat has claws at the end of his paws. And a comma has paws. At the end of a clause. The delivery was a little rocky, but you got there. A cat has A cat has claws

At the end of his paws And a comma has pauls at the end of a clause There it is Educated Again What English class you've been going to on the weekends I don't know A bear walks in a bar and he says

Give me a whiskey and Cola And the bartender says Why the big paws? He said I don't know. I was born with them. Guy one, I'm going to have to get you start writing something that's down. Now I'm going to be a dad. I need dad.

I don't know. I was born. I was born that way. I was just born with them. How are the polls? Why the big? I don't know. I read about the asteroid. It seems like all we learned was that we can hit an asteroid. I don't know if that's going to do us any good. Scopes on.

Just going to make the asteroid more angry. Yeah. But, hey, that's your. your taxpayer dollars at work, so... Yeah, wasn't it like $350 million? I wonder how many times I had to turn a dial out in. We could get Drew Brees back for that price.

He hit it. He's pretty accurate. I mean, it's going to get close. He ain't got no arm strength anymore, but he did it. He's going to hit the right spot. Yeah. That's interesting. Yeah, I don't know. And then the other thing I saw in the news was somebody got an emotional support alligator. A what? For real?

That just seemed like a bad idea. No, no, no. They had that on television. A young lady had one with a walking lease. On an alligator? An alligator? Really? Yeah. She was about six, maybe.

How big? Six-year-old girl? Yeah, six-year-old girl and an alligator was about six foot. Oh, now. Somebody emailed me about it. Then he showed him, everybody had it on his shoulder and was hugging it like a baby. And I said, yeah, you're going to turn around there one day, and he's going to bite your ear off. No, he's going to bite your head home.

Oh, hey, that's it. Yeah, Dustin from Ashgrove, Missouri sent us a video about Wally the emotional support. There is. There is. What on? Are this man? There he is. Look at this, Martin.

That's the same one. Look at this. That's the same one. He's kissing an alligator. All right. Oh, that's tight. No, that's dangerous. No, that's cool, man.

That alligator's walking around their house like a dog. That's fine. That alligator don't know he's an alligator. That's it. Now one day when he figures it out, it's going to be a bad deal. Yeah, they're going to. Yeah, this is going to have a bad ending. No, I ain't.

I wouldn't do it. Yeah, this is going to have a bad ending. Where is the guy from? I don't know. It's Wally the emotional support alligator. Emotional support, all right. Yep, it's like that lady in the snake. Huh?

The lady that found a snake out in the cold and took him inside and followed him out, and he bidder. Oh. And he said, hey, you know. You knew what I was when you picked me up and brought me in here. There you go. And now you're shocked that I bit you? Yeah.

I'm a snake. That's what I do. I bite people. I buy it everybody. Yep. Why are you going to get mad to me? Yeah. Why are you going to get mad?

I'm just doing what I'm designed to do. That's what them criminals say today when them cops get them. I say, well, I'm just trying to steal this. Why are you trying to? Don't mess with me. This is in Pennsylvania. And he like takes it to the park He doesn't recommend it though

Hey that ain't the one I saw I saw the young lady had the old house He doesn't got bit once And he said if you don't know what you're doing You will get bit And you know what I do to alligators to bite Eat them Bite them back

Run Well shoot Yeah Well hey you lose You lose that We need to keep up with that You lose that in a lot of fun That's going to end badly

How did alligator end up He ain't even from around there. Well, maybe he's too old to do anything. Farner. Farner. He's a foreigner. He's five and a half foot. Oh, yeah, that's still the fun, sir.

You can mess with them that size. Once they get up to about eight, they become a nuisance. No, sir. I ain't messing with them this long. Why not? Oh, no. They're fine. They're sharp.

They're fine when they little. They're fine. Well, don't let him bite you. Then he gets infected. Oh, boy, you. It is a trick. He adopted it from Orlando. Yep.

There you go. Bought it out of a... Evacuee. He brought it out of one of them little farm shops. He's running from Ian. He said, what's that out here going to do when it snows in Pennsylvania? He's going to go get under that heat lamp. He's going to go.

He's going to get under that heat lamp they got for him. Unreal. And he'll bake. There you go. Well, let's take another break. We'll be back right there. You don't like a mid-morning snack? I like a snack anytime.

Oh, I have a snack. have to eat snacks that's a good part i eat them turkey bites do you eat all them vienna turkey backs boys yep what was your favorite flavor i like that bourbon smoke bourbon and the barbacke they were gone i ate at first yeah yeah and the regular originals they good all of them's good jalabina boy i want one now is there any more i went you took the whole box with you oh he took the bag I'm all tangled up. Papa ain't got a new bag because he hated it.

I need some more viennis and whoever sent that. That's right. He's not a viennys. I'm going to get some myself. I don't send them more. Oh, Lord. Any Hoosers. Good night.

How am I going to get off that stand if I get on it? What do you mean? Dude moving all morning. Shoot them and then they leave. Take you some snacks. I guess so. Sit there or why? I got to watch him

Ole Miss in Kentucky. Hey, you can watch him right there. I guess so. You better watch him on ESPN. I've watched many of football games from a deer stand. Many of them. All of them.

Lots of them. I just turn the volume all the way down, get it right there where I can see it, and if something happens, I pay it to it. I'm glad it's fall. It is fall. Yeah, it's my favorite time.

There was some leaves falling off trees. Yes. Ooh. Was it? All I said, look, the leaves are falling. I said, yep, you're going to be able to sit a long way in a couple of weeks. Yeah, well, to the point now you go outside and build you a far. I mean, you still ain't going to stand real close to it.

I got a big old pile. You got to wait until late. Yeah. I got a big old pile built up behind myself. I got to burn. There you go. It's that time. You get you some, well, no.

Never mind. No. I guess you'd get you some weenies. You just can't have no marshmallow Yeah, the red Some of that No s'm Cato bun

The red pop winis Oh yeah For roasting Oh yeah They weren't good for roasting Oh yeah There you go He's an old pro

Well that's the only ones Is any good And red ones I like all hot dogs And you don't like Vien a sausage It's a hot dog Yeah

Just cut into bite-sized chunks Yeah Minerterer hot dogs All in this No, it is not. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Mimster hot no.

When you open the pack of hot dog? Why are we talking about food? We always end up there. Well, it's fall. All the good foods in fall. Man. I could eat a dozen red pot. Yeah, we're like, I'm fixing a bill of me a stoop.

It's a chili. It's a chili season. Soup. Ooh. Which have we talked about, me and Brittany got in a spirited debate the other night about chili. Interested debate. She wanted to.

It's got beans in. What is she craving? Oh, forget the beans. She's craving. Chili? Forget the beans. Johnny D. Just said it right there.

Hashtag. Deal with it. What? Beans. You put, no. Don't put beans in chili. That's it. I put beans in chili.

Not a lot. Yeah. No. You ain't from around here. That's it. I put, well, I learned. You're an alien. I learned to make chili from one Willie Robertson.

So my chili got a whole bunch of stuff in it. I've never seen beans and chili Willie make. He got beans. No. You don't really. run a good chili with beans. He probably done it one time and said. You want to put it off beans.

Hey, have them on the side. That's what I said. I said, if you want beans, let's make red beans and rice. That's the right. There you go. It's a basically chili that you cut up smoke sausage and put into. Ladies and gentlemen. Red beans and rice is essentially that.

It's time to vote. I think we need to ask the people to vote. Can you put that on Instagram? All right, I just got the heads up. You do not put beans in chair. Go to our Instagram when this episode airs. Do beans belong? in chili. I'm anti beans

in chili. You know what I like in chili? Sour cream? No. Catch up. Because that's what Brittany does. Filet mignon. Well, I mean, who does? You put ketchup in yours? I put ketchup in my Brittany put sour cream in it. On what? I ain't tried that. In chili? No, I went over to Willie's house one time and he said, hey, try this chili and I was

like, man, that's a big piece of ground beef. And I said, that's not, and I took a buy, I said, now that is something better than I expected. Yeah. He goes, yes, filet mignon. Yeah. And I was like, okay. He makes lucky charms. He don't make chili.

Oh, it is. You just don't know if you're getting rabbi, filet. I don't have as much money as Willie, so I don't do filet, but I bought a T-bone once and just cut it all up. You got a piece of a filet. And then soaked away, it's way cheaper. Yeah. But, and then just put that bone in there and let it marinate in the chili. Oh.

But it had beans in it? Yeah, it had beans in it. See, I'm anti-beens in chili. I just ain't. I like chili with a little bit of shredded cheese. and the saltine crackers. That's all I want with it. You know what I like chili?

Oh, no, you got a hot dog. A little rice on the bottom. You can do rice. But right. But I can do more. You can do cornbread. You can do whatever you want to. Then you chop up some good onions.

Fresh onions. Throw out in there. Might have to do that cauliflower. I put onions. Yeah, cauliflower rice or the chili on top. Yeah. But you're going to have to watch how you think in your chili because most time you're thick in it with flyers.

Can you do like the different kind of almond flower? Or some, oh, that much. If you're going to thicken it, you do that with corn chips. Put a little ketchup in there. Now, I like Frito. Some cheese on top. You want to make a freed up look. I got one way to eat, chili.

And it is with Lisa Robertson's. Mexican cornbread? Oh. That's a meal in itself. Oh, no. That's a cell. It'll feed you for four days. I do mine a little different from hers because I misread the recipe the first time I did it.

Because she puts it in two pans, so it's kind of thin. I just had the one pan. I wasn't paying attention to the rest. Am I, oh, but it's like, it's like, it's wonderful cake. Oh, no. You'd like it. I'll bring you a piece, bro. You made cake.

Oh, it's so good. Yours, you could, like, pour half of it and put another layer of bacon and then pour the other half if you wanted to. Oh, it's crazy. Yeah. It's so good. Yeah. It's a good party trick, too, because when you flip it over onto the cutting board, that basket weave of bacon's on the bottom. And people that ain't never seen that before, start asking, like, they admire you.

Yeah, they get fired up by that. Yeah, because it's good. Yeah. I need to text my wife. I know what I'm doing on Saturday. That's up. I'm making chili with beans. Not a lot of them.

Not a lot. And cornbread. I just don't think they have a place in Chile. In true chili. I don't mean. I don't. Now, what does Texas say? I don't know.

I thought Texas had, you know how Texas is. They got rules because we're Texas. Yeah. I don't know. Texas has probably got beans at it. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think.

Maybe. I don't know. Let's see. I don't know. I just think. Me personally, no beans. Texas is against beans. Yeah.

God bless Texas. That's what I'm a volunteer now. That's what I thought. You are. With the great state of Tennessee. And the volunteers, Chile is a gorean. They'll put a little bit of everything in there. You look up there's a can of rotel in there.

You like that. I do that? Huh? I do that. You put the rotel in there for some tomatoes. Oh, sweet her. I thought he was talking about. Chili. Yeah, they're making stew.

They're making a goulash. Yep. A mulligan. I hung out with Willie for a decade. What'd you expect me to learn? Willie Robertson special. Well, don't kind of like chili. It is chili. No, no, the only maters in chili. No, not chili. It's like tomato paste.

Dubia sauce. You can pour that, yeah, he'd be fire. You pour him in there. I just, this is a new, this is new for me. Yeah. Since the last time I made chili last fall. It's no surprise. though that three of us are one way and one's the other. It generally happens.

No, that's not surprising. No, it really isn't. There's somebody always going to disagree. Yeah. Except for on Black Panthers, then it's always two on two. High five. Yeah. Well, you know, we're talking about real things here.

Yeah. Not imaginary. They are real. Yeah. They are real. Yeah, we're not talking. So size anti-bean. Anti-Been.

I'm the only pro-bean guy. You're only pro-been. I'm fine with that. I've been different. If Brittany was here, she's pro-bein. Oh, I'm pro-been. She's been different her whole life too. I'm pro-bean if it was rice and...

Well, it's not chili. You put beans in it? Not chili. What is it? I don't know, but that needs to... Then you need to make like a Frito pie out of it or something. I don't know. I can go for a Frito pie.

So, there you go. Hot dog. Hot dogs, that's fine if you want to do that. But if I want a bowl of chili... Oh, that's like they've ruined the hot dog. What? Who ruined hot? I don't.

Hey, I'm telling you, because they run it through, and they put everything on it. Who? Phil does it, for a matter of course. Oh, his gourmet dogs, fire. You break it off that. No, no, no. I feel it's good.

I say it's good, but they run it through the garden. That crumbled bacon, he tried to, he come up with. Yeah. Well, hey, bacon makes everything. You got a problem with that. We can't be friends. No, no. No, bacon makes everything better.

Mm-hmm. That is true. I'm starving. You won't put bacon in chili. I'm okay with that. That is. That is, boy. Just leave the beans out.

I'm going to Sonic. Actually, you can... Hey, that's what I fixed to have when I go home. B-L-T, Sonic. No, I'm fixed to have me some chili. Oh, chili. You're going to build some? Yeah.

Hey, I'm opening a can of wolf. I'm coming to yours. Oh, he's on the wolf brand. Oh, yeah. And you're judging me for beans? And throw me a bunch of free doughs in there and have a free-d-old pie. You're judging me for beans, wolf chili? Oh, no beans.

Well, duh. Duh, no beans. Huh. Sir. I'm a Hormel guy. I am too. I'm a Hormel chili guy. Yeah.

Well, I eat that too. Hormel hot. That's where I'm going. I'm going to get something after that. Hey, I'm going to fix that. That's what I'm fixed that when I go home. Oh, the chili. Well, let's take another break.

We'll be back right after this. We might not be there. We'll get in that mail box. Well, what's in that mail bag, John? Lucas from Sandusky, Ohio. I've been there. Isn't that where Tommy Boy was? Home of Callahan Auto Park.

Yes. I like that. Fantastic. I've been there too. They got like a big roller coaster thing up that way. Yeah, they did. Yeah. It was fun.

Them Ohio folks on that bag, chili. Ain't that right? I draw a line there, Cincinnati. Yeah, we got some of that. But me and Cincinnati have made up, so I don't want to ruffle any feathers. But, yeah, spaghetti bag, chili is weird. All right. Anyway, Lucas emails in.

And Lou, he has some questions. All right, Lucas. I think we can answer them. Two months ago, Lucas had his first kiss. Oh. We all remember it, right? Oh, Lucas. Lucas is 17.

All right. Lucas has said, to me, it felt early, but his parents are like, no, you're good. They're good with it. But he was wondering when we had our first kiss, and if that was too early or not. Bum, bum, bum. I don't even remember. Oh, I remember my life it was yesterday. And that's what I was counting on, Lucas.

I'm telling you. I was in the first grade. First grade. And we're waiting on the bus and I lost this five little fine get on the bus. Well, hey, it ain't my bus, but I get on it anyway.

No way. No way. No, time out. When you were in first grade were there two buses. Well, I'm just saying, hey, Vivian Louisiana. That's what I'm saying. Why is there two?

Y'all north and one south, baby. Hey, I'm just saying. What did you do? Get on the Greyhound and bypass the school? Then, hey, the bus drivers of said buses had to separate us. In first grade? In first grade.

So if you're worried about it being too soon, my man. Not too soon. Prissy's going to love this. Her name was Prissy Pardieu. Prycy, if you're listening. That's right. Hold off. Could have been you, man.

She'll be turning it as red as a tomato right now. Actually, since you outed it. It was a first grade. What grade was she in? He was going. Oh, then how were y'all on two different buses? I was hoping he was going to say like six or something. She may have just visits and been visiting somebody on the bus.

I don't know. She'd go to private school and he was on public school? I don't know. Public school. There might have been more than one bus. In first grade and Vivian, Louisiana, there's two schools servicing that today at the same bus stop. Something's wrong logistically. Well, no, no, they had to pick up all the students.

Good grief out in the country. I understand. They had to send, they were, the buses weren't full, but they had to send them different directions. otherwise they'd have been there till I was just out there trolling the bus stop. I was like, what's up, now you'll end up on live PD, you keep that up. What's her name? Chrissy party. He said, what's up, Presie?

This is your bus? Oh, no, no, no. Hey, oh, shoot. From the sounds of it, they didn't talk. So your first kiss happened on a bus. Hey, here's a weird part. I can't believe I didn't date her in high school. Well, she already knew what you had to offer.

Well, I'm just saying. I don't think it was your choice. Well, I don't know. Oh, yeah, was. Oh, hey, once I set my mind. son. No, hey, come hell to high water, hey.

It's going to happen, boys. Lucas, thank you. Hey, thank you for the question. I really, I'm not even saying I don't remember because it's embarrassing. I honestly have no recollection of that. I clearly got a type.

That's all I'm going to say. She looked a lot like my current wife. Yeah. There you go. When you find a good thing, I'm into 5-5 brunettes. That's what I like. Hey, when you find a good thing,

you stick with it, boy. There you go. Well, Lucas, I did not know that that's what we were going to get, but thank you so much for emailing that in so we can find out about Vivian bus rides. All right, this one's a little tougher. Oh-oh. Mike in Missouri. Mike's dad passed away in 2020 and his mother moved in with my wife and I,

which is, you know, it happens a lot in life. Mom moves in. He's not complaining at all, I guess, just venting a little. I want to take care of my mom because I know it's the right thing to do and I know my dad would be proud of me. However, it does get pretty stressful at times and she doesn't take good care of herself sometimes and it falls on us. Doesn't want to complain.

Guess he just needs the vent and ask for any encouraging words. He believes they're doing the right things and he loves his mom dearly. Anybody got anything? It's tough. That's a good one. But, okay, she's the one that brought you into this world. Yeah, there it is. So you owe her at least that.

Yeah. Okay, to take care of her, you know. And like me and my mother were very close, so that wouldn't have been any problem. And let's face it, okay. As we get older, okay, it's a hard thing to actually watch it happen, especially when their health starts going. Mm-hmm. Okay.

But like you said, it's the right thing to do. And of course, okay, it's a hard thing to do. Yeah. Especially if her health is going. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Because to watch someone you dearly love, okay, going down and there's nothing you can do to help it or stop it. You know, it's just a tough go.

Yeah. Yeah. I'd say 100% he's doing the right thing. Yeah, you do the best you can, provide the care you can, and if it gets outside of scope of what you can provide, then you got to do something else. But, you know, they took care of you for, I'm assuming, a minimum of 18 years. At least.

Probably a little more. Probably more, most likely. Yeah. You know. I thought when Johanna graduated, she'd be out the payroll. Don't happen. No, they don't ever get off the payroll. I went back.

I went back to get on that payroll. I can't help it. But it is, size right, it is tough. I know I watched my mom take care of her mom in the later years of her life, and that was tough. And now my dad, my grandmother hadn't had to move anywhere yet, but, you know, she got pulled over by the cops going 60 the other day, so it could be coming soon.

And we love my grandmother, but he goes out there and he mows your yard. And I remember growing up, like, one of my big things was I went and mow, my dad was like, you go. Mo, there you are. So it is important to remember as we get older, or as your parents and your grandparents get older, how much they took care of you. As I said,

and you return the favor. It's just kind of the circle of life is a weird way to put it, but it's kind of what it is. Yeah, repay it off. That's why I'm glad these two young guys, you wait till they can hold a weed eater, son. They're about to get on that bag. Carter finally there.

He can blow off your driveway, Blah for it. And he likes it. So I've got him tricked right now. Yeah, you got to trick him into getting that weed eater's fun. They got me with it. Yep. I now know it ain't no fun.

I ain't a weed eater. Yeah. I'm a zero-turn fast lawnmower. Nah. You're a zero-turner roundup kind of guy, ain't you? I actually don't do a lot of round-up. My dad will round up the whole world. I like edges.

I like sharp edges. I don't like no grass touching my concrete. So I'll teach him how to do it. I'll teach them boys how to do it. That's right. You gotta get the thing upside down. And then one day they're going to be... One day they're going to figure out that was a trick.

And they're going to be sitting here. I don't know, podcasts may not be a thing by them. But if they are, they'll be complaining about me teaching them how to weed eat. And they'll be mowing your yard, mowing your mom's yard and all that good stuff. Oh, praise God.

You're going to have a lot of more time. Oh, man. Martin had himself a work for it. Oh, buddy. Guaranteed. All right. Well, I got you a verse. Let's do it.

Mike, this one's for you, and this is what you are doing. And so you ask for an encouraging word. I'm going to give you an encouraging word from Exodus 20, verse 12. Honor your father and your mother so that you may live long in the land of the Lord your God is giving you. Amen. You're making not only your dad proud, you're helping out your mom. You're making the Lord proud by just honoring your mother. So keep on, keeping on, man.

Absolutely. All right. We'll see y'all next time. right here. We're out.