Duck Call Room - Uncle Si Will Never Forget These Childhood Shenanigans

Episode Date: December 21, 2021

Si tells the most hilarious, mischievous, and painful stories from the childhood games he played with his brothers. The boys wonder if the Robertson boys were being tough or just dumb. Martin calls out Phillip for being sneaky good at pool, and Si talks about finishing a game using a mop handle for a pool cue. Phillip bets John-David that he can rip a phonebook in half. Challenge accepted! Si talks about his Uncle Marvin’s unusual health problem that came from eating lots of ducks. And the boys answer questions about tattoos, celebrity pastors, and grown men playing video games. - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I was good in golf on the Nintendo. Nintendo? That was Calico Vision. You were playing. That was up here. Which Nintendo? Well, my son was the one that got me in. He was playing it.

How long ago we told? Oh, that's been 15 years, 20 years. Oh, so we're talking about like regulation. They've come a long way with that golf game for video games. Oh, no. Hey, look, I pulled a shark. What was this guy's name? Greg Norman?

Yeah, Greg Norman. Yeah. The fairway, we was going this way, and right over here, was where the grain was. Ladies and gentlemen, this is all of the video game. You could lay up down there and then come back around. And I said, wait a minute, it ain't about 20 yards on the other side of these streets. Video game.

I said, let me pull a Greg Norman on them, boys. Video game. Hey, about two inches from the pen. There you go. That's how good he is. That's how good he is. I've seen him do some things. And that was the beginning of your golf coaching career.

Are we rolling? We are rolling. What do you have air rolling? Hey, somebody, one of my fans. this it's in. Let's see what you do. I think it's a hat. Knocked in a hat. It's a magic eight ball. Well, here's one for this.

Oh, Lord. I like my gone better. And he's got a gone. What is this thing here? A magic eight ball. Now that's what. Ask a question. Ask a question. You don't know what a magic eight ball is? I'm playing poker tonight. Am I won?

Is I going to win at poker tonight? And then you shake it up? My sources say no. Hey, that thing's accurate. A piece of junkler. Ask it again. All right. Are you really positive that Sye's not going to win at poker tonight?

Now they cannot predict. Oh. They can't predict. Oh, he's unpredictable. That sounds like Sise poker game. Nailed it. Nailed it. I could use this the entire episode.

Whoever sent this? Yeah, who sees? I appreciate it. Right on the handle card. That was from John Wiskowski. John Woscowse. Yes, sir. Concentry.

Was he from Canaan? Yeah, from Canaan. And thenadeon. Kenanadian? Hey. What part of the country's that? Hey, John, send us some ducks. Here.

Here, go put this back in there. Oh, you ain't kidding. Will Si kill a limit of ducks anymore this season? Hey. Let's see what it says. Please tell us. This is mine now. What'd you ask?

I asked if you were going to kill any limits this year. I've already killed a bunch of limits. He said it anymore. There you go. Right there. Now look. You may rely on it. That's it.

That's positivity. Nice. That sounds like. Whoever said this, John, appreciate it. Look at there. We got a magic eight ball to answer all you questions. And a bell. I'm going to steal the bell.

I used to be good in eight balls. I was still the eight ball. Now, that's true. In the military, I used to be pretty good. The most average one was $265. In what? In pool. And guess what I did the next day?

Lost it back. No. I went to Walmart, bought me two rod and reels, the tackle box, and then filled it up with dates. At Walmart? And I spent $200. 65 bucks. Why didn't you go the honey hole? No.

That wasn't a roundback. I was like four chatterbates. That wasn't a roundback. No. He wasn't on that bag. I had a bunch of rebels, okay? Oh. The broken back ones that, you know.

Yeah, the regular ones. The regular ones that just do this. Yeah. I tend to stay away from topics of broken backs. Oh, no. No. Hey. More mountains.

We're talking about fishing baits here. Yeah. That's good. That's good. All right. Yeah. Support your local tackle store of Walmart. Well, that's all it is.

Back in that day, JD. I bet he was in North Carolina when that happened. I don't remember where I was there. Or Alabama, one of the two. But hey, look, I won the last $20. You wasn't around here because Phil would have strapped you. That's right. Well, I know.

It was put out in the military. Yeah. The last one, he had already knocked the tip up off the pool stick. So there was a mop over in the wall. He just, this guy was big. He just broke the end of the middle. mop off through the wood in trash can and we played the last game with a with a mop phil you ever done anything like that in your pool hall day negatory so you you're a pool shark

no i used to play but i i was just okay phil one of them that show up with his own stick yeah i had that sneaky peat like curly don't oh hold on i think curly don't was bad in a pool table he's pretty good player yeah he used to play every day at lunch when we worked at TP outdoors. He'd walk down the street to old banyans and hustle him up a game for... Making him a little cat? Yeah.

I was like, Curley, why don't you just go eat something? You know, the boy looked like he's about to blow away anyway, but he was always chasing his next win. He was addicted to the rush of the pool table. Oh, that's funny. I did see a guy, so I saw a guy in the pool hall play for money, and he lost, but he didn't have the money. Uh-oh.

So the guy said, what size of them shoes you got on? and he took the man's shoes and left to satisfy the debt. When you play and you lose, you got to pay. You got to honor your debt now. Oh, no, yeah. I had a buddy of mine. Hey, he grew up in a pool hall.

His grandfather owned one. Well, hey, you're talking about a shark. Okay. He never cashed his military check. He sent it home and they put it in the bank for him. And you could borrow a thousand dollars off of him anytime. So let me borrow a thousand dollars. No, I said he'll.

Oh. okay and he's the reason i won a 265 because he said hey if you ain't got the money i i'll back you because you fixed to take that idiot's money on you on his best day and your worst day you can beat him y'all and i said pat you know i don't play for money he grabbed me in the chest and just lifting me up and pulled him too you're gonna play him

i said yes sir okay i'll play you go and y'all would be surprised to see sire i play pool we played a couple years ago and he beat everybody in the room, including me. I believe, I mean, I can see side being good at it. I know he's got hand-eye coordination because I've seen him shoots. I mean, that's part of the battle right there. I don't know how you calculate angles because I've also seen you do math. That's where I have a little problem.

If he was good at math, he'd win everything. No, no, look here, me and Pat played one day, and we played a lot. Pat. And the goal for me was to hook him where he couldn't make the shot. So I said, all right, you know, and he was always asking me, play for 10. You know, play for 20. I said, Pat, I've watched you in too much money. I ain't playing you for money.

So I finally there I put a shot because the cue ball roll in between two on the other end of the pool table. There's two balls. this right and another one blocking it and I rolled the cue ball in between them so he had he had just he could bank and hit the bank on the other side just at an angle a little bit and his ball the eight ball was up here against the rail and I said I said Pat I said how much you want money how much money you want put on this one he said it's up to you make it easy on yourself son I said I got you this time I said $20.20 I said I got you this time

So, yeah, I'm going to play this. I'm going to play some money on this one. So it took him about five minutes. He got on the table with a stick. He had to six rail it. He had to six rail this stupid cue ball. Six rail it. Yeah.

What's that mean? Peeleum, peon, peon, peon, peon, peon, peon, peon. Six times off the rail. It looked like a ricochet. Yeah. And he only had, I'm telling you, he had like seven inches, and he could just hit the other side. So he sit there a minute and he got to figure. I said, hey, I said, are you going to shoot or not?

He said, hey, give me a minute I got to figure out the angles on this. And I got to do math. Was this on like Yahoo.com? No, no, no, no, no. And it had the little odd. Hey, this is a real game. Because I didn't play for money because he'd always win. But that time I said, I got you this time.

So I'll risk 20. He finally got up there and he's like this. And just, boom. I couldn't believe he didn't tear the felt or break. the pool stick because he hit it okay and that thing pique pink pink pink pink and it was right in the middle the eight ball was it hit it hit over here and starts going and it looks like it's fixing to stop and it just keeps going keeps going and just right when it's fixed and run out it goes and this thing goes clunk so you lost 20 I lost 20 so in your pool playing career you're up to 45

Yeah, I said, you have got to be kidding me. That's the way I feel when you're telling a store. Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing. I could not believe. Hit the gone for Martin. No, no. Hey, I could not believe he made that stupid shock. And I'll tell you what.

Tell us, man. I'll never bet against you ever again. You can't ever bet a man at his own trick. Because I saw a guy coming to the pool hall back in the day. and he had a he would take a dime between these two fingers and stand from me to John David where the the phone was the yeah the pay phone that could hit phone put it in that you put a quarter in the phone you get to call somebody yeah he could do it what he'd take a dime and he'd walk from me to you no I saw him do it and he would get the bets right with everybody in the room and he took that dime

he said I get three shots and everybody was like okay and he missed on that first one but it was so close you knew you were in trouble yeah and on the second second one, nothing but net just pay up boys. Go make the phone call. And I said right then I said you never bet a man at his own trick. He could throw

it into the slot? Yeah, into the slot. You were there? No. I'm just saying. No, but people know about it. If you go down Trenton Street right now and start asking some of them people, you know, that have been in and out of the pool halls, they know. Well, hey, here's a lot. I got a lot of questions. How many pool halls in this time.

This was a few years ago, but there's still some in there. I mean, this wasn't last week. Have you ever heard of anyone taking a phone book that's about two, two and a half inches thick? That's not, hey, I bet you money that I can tear this phone book in half. Those dudes used to do that for Jesus at schools back of the day. What was that called? I don't know, but I remember.

They'd like show up to your school and be like, Love Jesus and lift weights and rip phone books. Team Impact. The only part I took the heart. The only part I took the heart on that was love Jesus. Forget about ripping. Lift it weights. That's for the crowd next door over.

So they would. They literally can tear a phone book in a. In the pool hole? Wherever. Oh, yeah. You see some thing. You can't believe. You saw that, didn't you?

Didn't you see it at Willie's house? We were at Willie's house. Now, I learned the technique about the phone book, so I can do it. He can do it. No, you can. I can. Somebody get a phone. Hey, go get a bumble.

They don't make them anymore. Hey, here's the deal. You ain't ripping Google. You ain't ripping Google in half. You got to put $50 on. I'll put $50 right now on the fact that you can't terrify it. Ask Brandon Hee. That's for me.

Because I'm going to cover your bet for 50. Brandon He. Because he's going to rip in half. He lost money in that. He's going to rip in half. I'm going to pick up 50 bucks from you. I got it. I can't wait.

Let's go. Let's go pick up some money. Let's go pick up some money. ourselves. Let's take our first break. We'll be back right out. I'm going to get the phone. There's a ream of paper back there. All right. Look, springtime is here. It's warming up. You know what that means. That means more outside cooking. And y'all know we love to eat beef around here. And that's what because of our friends over at Triedells beef makes such a good product, ain't it good? It's so good. Our friend, Sall Robertson would say,

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support ranch families and eat some dang good steak. That's a little bit too thick, seriously. That's, no, you, okay, roll. Are you going to try to rip it? That one's too big. No, he's faking. No, no, no. That is a thick one.

That is not a thick phone book. I mean, it's thicker than what I'm comfortable tearing. Wait, what? Wait, what? No, you said a phone book. You said a phone book. I got a phone book, and this ain't the phone book. that I grew up with.

Sa, save your money, Sire, don't make that bet. You are, you are a snowboarder. You are, what do they call that?

Whenever you act like you ain't good at, what's it called? A hustler, baby. A hustler? I'm a hustler, baby. So are we doing this for 50? Hold on,

let me. Alia, go ahead and do it. Which way are you ripping? Doesn't matter. However you want to. I just want to test. You want a test. Jody D.

Sye, get your knife ready. You ain't got Yeah, I ain't got it. Let me check my wallet. Let's check. Hi. I like to put it in my IOU.

For Fitty? Yeah, I ain't got my wallet. It's in my truck. Hey, there's this cool thing these days called Venmo. You got it. All right, 20 bucks. I got 20. No, you said Fitty.

This is smaller than the regulation. There ain't no renegan. It's Fitty. That's smaller than a regulation. It's Fitty. Sire. You're the one. Is that half?

No, no. It's just half. Half of wood. Yeah, you just split it in half, sigh. Good job. Is that half? No, no, no, no. Side, don't break it.

I'm so confused. Now you're really getting huffled. I'm just saying it's that half. No, you can't rip it in half that way. He said rip it in half. I said rip it in half is all I said. Yeah, bring it to me, John, David. Take it over to him.

Let's see you do it, Phil. Oh, paper cutter. So you can rip a phone book in half. Ladies and gentlemen, that's about 280 pages. In this corner coming in at the weight of 275. 225. I gave you 50 pounds. All right, boy, here we go.

He's trying to tear this book in half. Quit putting it below the table, you cheater. Well, there ain't no knife down there. I can truth what I'm seeing here. Oh, the mankind. Oh, this is the most disappointed I've ever been to win. Get in the middle. To win $20.

This is the most distant. Ladies and gentlemen, if you're listening, Phil has been chewing on part of this phone book. Oh, no. Oh, no. You see it, Terry? I think he got part of it. Or you hear it. I think I heard it.

Let's go, real. I feel like he's got something in his hand, like a razor blade. No, he ain't got nothing in his hand. I've once arm wrestled, Phil. I lost. So he is strong. This is technique. All right, we're going to fast forward because this is taking for it.

I feel like you're losing a dollar for every 15 seconds. You show do like to add rules as we go on a bet. I thought this was I can rip a phone book in half, not I can tear one page at a time in half. This is one page at time. Come on, son. That's fine. I'm actually getting get to caught up on all my emails. Oh, he's getting caught up on your emails, boys.

I remember, boys. Somebody. Besides, that ain't the phone book. That ain't a phone book. What, it's the yellow pages. It's not even the white pages. I just offered you the yellow. Oh, hey, look, that ain't a phone book.

Oh, he got it going. Oh, that's just pay that man his money. I ain't doubling the bet at this point. You already done it loosened it all up. All right. If he won't double the bet, hey, forget it. He said, hey, no, hold on. He said you've loosened it all up.

It ain't my time. It ain't worth my money. It ain't worth my money. funny. I can't do it. Hey. You gonna pay it on hand? No, I ain't gonna pay you.

If you're gonna double up the bet. Hey, since he won't double up. Hold on. That's not in half. I ain't gonna pay. He did rip half the pages. Since he wouldn't do it. Hey, since he wouldn't do it.

He ripped like a quarter of it. Now you can do it. No, you ain't. See? Hey, pull your shorts down, Herman. It's a family show. All right. All right.

Well, I don't. I don't know who owes. If you weren't doubled your bed, I ain't going to pay you. I don't know who owes what. I think he lost. Back to the. Ladies and gentlemen, we're back from that break of trying to make $20 off of each other. We don't know who won.

Hey, $20 is $20, huh? $20, hammer. Yeah, oh, he called you hammer. That's funny. You did tear the phone book up. He did tear it. You are a man of mystery. I could have gone through it if I did it went slower.

He was a pool hall hustler. What do you think he is? But also, remember that email? Why do you think his character on Duck Dynasty was so good? Like, Philip, you want to race outhouses? Hey, he's done it before. You want to race live moors? He was speaking his native language, son.

I mean. I just, but remember the other, like a month ago, we got an email from some old boy that said he worked with a guy who was in a breakdancing group with Phil. Philip McMillan. Yeah, save wanted to make a bed on that, and I said, I'll take that bed. And they tried to get me. I said, no, that actually sounds like something Philip would have done. That's why I said, hey, I'll take the bet.

He is a international man of mystery. And he performed at skating rinks for the Queen of England. Yeah. There you go. Hey. I don't know. He's fella. It's all true.

Hey, they offered him the job of Trowoli got in, you know, that show. Who's Trowley? John Trowley. John Trowley. Who's John Trowley? The dancer. John Travolta. Staying alive.

Staying alive. like, maybe. They offered Phil that part. They all Philip to job first, and he turned it down. Stand alive. That's the only reason that John Cervoli made it. I don't believe that. Y'all want to know why I had Phillips sit beside me in here.

That's because you never know about it. I don't believe that's a man of mystery. A man of mystery. What else is interesting about you? Well, I got a lot more questions. This is only our show, so you better make it. I need you to be more specific. I did bring all the.

treats from Valerie and her husband for you and you and Godwin, I put them over there for y'all's dogs. Yeah, they're in a box. For a dog. Yeah, okay. Real nice treat. All right. But since you tell he's a man of mystery,

hey, his job is a mystery. Yeah. No, it's not. We know what he does. Yeah, yeah. I don't know how he does it. Well, that's why I'm saying it's a mystery. Job for you or his real job?

His real job. What he does for a limit? He foods with abused kids. Mm-hmm. okay which takes a special I think you need to clarify fools with abused kids tricks them out of all their money when they come in yeah

we all know he's a hustler baby he's a hustler yeah you said he fools with abused kids that's why I think he may want to but you said pooh that's why I said now we all know what he does and it's a job that I know good well I couldn't

no I couldn't do because I'd be an emotional basket case the whole time. That's why he's out of me a lot. Yeah. Because I bring fun into the arena. Yeah. That's true. Okay. And he needs it after what. He has to well. That's true. Philip McMillan, what you do for a job is nothing short of incredible. Yeah. Because I don't know how you don't just go home and lock yourself in the dark room and cry all night. Yeah. I'm too emotional. I'm too emotional. You see the worst of the worst that's happened to a bunch of kids that can't even control

their circumstances. That's terrible. Well, and I'm going to say this. That's why I do like hanging out with y'all, you know. Me and John David, we had a great time when we went on a few events together, me and you. But with Si, everything's fun. Everything's first class and a lot of fun. Hey, and you get chicken and dumplings brought to your room. Not only that, all the food you can eat and take home with you for later. And you bring home a sandwich.

Somebody emailed another day and was mad at you. For what? You went to that judge the world's greatest barber. you contest and you didn't put any in your suitcase like Phil. You didn't bring up. Oh, look. They took that plate for me so fast that at first time I said, whoa, whoa, whoa, I ain't done with him.

And then they had to swap them and then everything's gone. Yeah, tell me, hey, what are you doing? I could, I can't remember her name, but I sure could go for another big old bowl of that lady's greens. Golly, they were good. He back on them. Back on them. I ain't anything.

I've been chasing ducks all morning. And I can't believe it. John, Guy was, don't like greens. He said it tastes like dirt. You can't believe, look at him. Do you think he's big on vegetable? Well, I never think about food. I ain't ever seen Gobwin eat anything green.

When you mention something green, he said it ought to be illegal to grow it. Every time. Green, okra. John David. He's a meat and taters kind of fella. I wish you'd have been there when he was driving us around. Hildberry doughboard. Oh, Gobbin.

That thing may have been called. That thing may have been called a land rover, but that was like, that ain't a, that ain't what I think of when I think of land. Land Rover. Yeah. That's the thing they use in Africa. That's the one, the vehicle they use in Africa, the land rover. Yeah. You're all in a safari Jeep. No, it wouldn't have made it on those safari.

If you left asphalt, you're in trouble. A land rover is a safari cheap, okay? It ain't that thing we was riding in a fair in the Tennessee. No, that was a box. Well, I hope we don't need that phone book for nothing, because, She's gone. They totally demolished that baby. Oh, I can put it back together for another $20.

Hey, call, hey, come. Make it a Honda and he'll put it back together. Oh, Lord. Let's take another break. We'll be back right after this. So here's what happened. We were shooting rubber bands, and you shot and hit this duck almost knocked his hand on. Hey, we actually took a two before, okay?

Two by four. Put a real strong clothesline pears. in, right, put clothes to hang clothes with. Oh, yeah. And wrap an intertube, you know, tight real good with intertube. And then we would cut about a half inch circle, you know, an intertube. And I had like a, it looked like a 30-thirty rifle barrel on this stupid thing. And, hey, I'd put it on the end of it and put it all the way back to that safety pin, okay, and put it in there.

And we'd have wars with them. Why? Huh? Why? It was so much fun to put it against somebody's back and hit that clothespin. That sound like it hurt. Oh, he'd put a blister on here. That's what we grew up doing.

No wonder y'all awesome mean. Golly. Oh, no, that was fun. Especially when I come up with the Buntline special. That's about like popping somebody with a wet dish rag. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. But it was like, this was crazy.

We even made them where they were multiple. we had four or five rubber bands put on them. Oh, Lord. And you just kept squeezing and pia, pio, pio, pio, pio, pio. You had you an automatic rubber band. Only Cy Robertson would have an automatic rubber band. I bought one from a boat show. We went from, hey, look, we went from cow patty fights to buttonline special fights.

Wet or wet. I've been in on them cow patties, chunk and dry cow patties. Oh, dry. The worst one I was saying was Jimmy. Frank got hit in the face. It was crusty. Look, it was crusty on top. Uh-oh.

Soft in the middle. Hey, uh-oh. Soft on the other side looking. The guy had it. I don't remember. I think it was Kenny Tidwell. Kenny, why would you do that, man? No, no.

Because it was Jimmy Frank? Yeah, he was behind the tree and Jimmy Frank come walking by. No, not like a pie face. Oh, yeah. Oh. But it wasn't a pie. It's on cow patty. And the front of it was soft.

Oh. Because, hey, you don't understand it. There's a lot of hate going on because, hey, Jimmy Frank used to make them all play football. And, like, Kenny Titable, got a scholarship to Louisiana Tech for it. Because Jim Frank made him play. He got good at it. Was Jimmy Frank your oldest brother? Oldest brother.

And he was mean as all get out. Jimmy. Yeah. Him and Harold both. They had both of them had a mean streak to him. Did they both go to Louisiana? Is he on the tech? No, LSU.

Oh, I didn't know. Yeah, both of them graduated from LSU. But they were mean. Yeah, my whole family and all the kin folks. I don't know why that's so mean. So how'd you turn out? That's because they grew up popping each other with rubber band.

I'd be mad too. Moldable. Oh, no. I just thought the best one. You know, the big giant catching, kitchen matches? Yeah. We used to take a razor blade. Oh, no.

Okay. Put four. A razor. Or razor blades not anywhere. The jokes never start with razor blades. No, no, listen to me. You take the razor blade and you cut it one way and then you cut it another way and then you take paper and make yourself the arrow, the feathers. And then you get a needle, the biggest one you can find, and put it in the other end.

And then you have wars with them. Okay, that was our darts. We couldn't afford darts. Why would you throw darts if you could afford them? Hey, well, if we could afford them, we'd have used darts. You just thrown a dart at your friend? Hey, at my brothers and at their cousin. You had to be tough.

Hey, you had to be tough in our neighborhood, son. Okay. Oh, that ain't being tough. That's being dumb. There's a very, very defined difference between being tough and being dumb. Growing up with y'all was dumb. No, no, hey. They had a nurse on staff.

What do you think Phil got the phrase? Who's the man? Well, no wonder, but that, no wonder, y'all didn't have no friends. No wonder y'all was such a close family. Oh, no, we had plenty of friends. They all enjoyed the games. Yeah, there were, the people in your neighborhood paid therapists a lot of money 50 years later trying to figure out what the heck was wrong with. No, we didn't go through therapy.

No, you didn't. Everybody else had to do it, but we didn't go through it. No, you didn't, but your neighbor did. No, he didn't either. God, we didn't. Unbelievable. You know, you heard the great old days? That was the great old days, huh?

I don't, I mean, I believe in the great old days. I don't believe that you're supposed to throw darts at other people in any day. Oh, it's a blast. Couldn't throw it at the head. That's the only rule. Neck down. Hey, yeah. I've thrown a dart at somebody before.

A long dart? Not a long dart. Body shot, boy. I mean, look, I will say. They were mad at me, though. When I was a kid, me and my buddy Clark. we one time thought it'd be a good idea to have a BB gun war. Same principle, though.

We knew shoulders and below. Right, shoulders and below war. Because you got above that, you know, the parents would be able to see you and you're going to get in trouble. Never mind it, put your eye out, Rafi. Like, no, forget that. Don't worry about that. We went through that. And that first time I got popped on the kneecap when I thought I was all the way behind that tree, but my knee was sticking out.

Hey. I said, uh-uh, uh-uh, we're done. We're done. Hey, if you lay down, if you lay down behind a dog, don't have your butt left up there. Hey, am I going to shoot you in the butt? Because it's always a clown in the bunch. We used to have bottle rocket wars. Yeah, we did that.

And I was looking back, we couldn't hit nobody that. Oh, Roman candles. We shot Roman candles. We shot Roman candles. Better because you could hit somebody with that. Yeah, we shot Roman candles at each other. We would get a bottle rocket. Kids, this is a Don't Ever Do episode.

Don't do this. I shouldn't tell what I'm about to tell. This is stupid. We would get a bottle rocket and rip the stick off. Oh. So it just... Didn't know where it going. And you stand in a really small circle.

That's right. Light it. That's like spinning a bottle. And throw it in the middle of the circle. Yeah. Who's the man? Who's the man? Did you have to kiss who it hit?

No. I may sound like y'all playing spin the bottle with a bottle rocket. Whoever moved lost. Without the bottle. Whoever moved lost? Yeah. So you just had to sit there and hope it didn't blow up on you. Ride the rocket.

No, whoever moved won. Oh, no, looking back, we were dumb. I'd always win because I would move. But the take-on from that is, look, we turned up just fine. Yeah. Kids are stupid. So don't overreact parents when you kids do something stupid. It's all a part of learning.

I've seen, I've seen, what happened. You've got to figure it out at some point. You still got a scar on your knee. I got a few little burns from Roman candles. The best one I remember about a baby gun is, is it a five-cell flashlight, you know. Like a mag light? Yeah.

Big D-lachers. Yeah, five-cells, okay. Them things weigh 100 pounds. We went frog hunting. It's me, Phil and Tommy. We went frog hunt at 12 miles by you, had a sack full of them. Coming back, well, Phil's in a hurry to get home.

Yeah. He's got Tommy's flashlight. Tommy bought it. He worked for it and then bought him a five-cell flashlight that we used to get a frog with. he's got the BB gun, okay, and it was one of them breakdowns shoot pellets or BBs. Mm-hmm.

Okay, so. Benjamin. Yeah. Yeah, so, yeah, he's got it loaded, okay, because we took it to kill snakes with. And he told Phil, filled up about 50 yards. He said, hey, wait up. With a flash out, me inside I can't see. Phil says, no, ain't waiting.

Y'all better catch up. He said, hey, boy, I told you you better wait for us. I'm going to shoot you. Bill said, yeah, he's still going. Then it's, Capao. And all he did was he looked at that flashlight, and we're on the highway.

And hey, down it goes, boys. Lights, grass, batteries fly every direction, and then their foot races on to the house because Tommy's fixing to beat his butt if he catches it. Did he catch it? He didn't catch it. And look, Mama had to take a razor blade on Tommy's on Phil's back,

and that baby was under the skin she just slit their skin and the baby popped out and cut the top of the mountain off all she did was just touch it and baby rolled out that's just like when you clean a duck if you got the pellet in there

that's all you got to do touch it apparently size uncle ate so many ducks that he was full of pellets oh no no no no well hold on let's tell that when we get back I was excited this is interesting all right size you were telling us before we need to break. Uncle Marvin.

Okay. Look, Uncle Marve. Now, he run a trap line. Was he a sticky bandit? No. Was he an Alexander or a tough? He won't a sticky bandit. He may have called him an outlaw.

So, what was he? Was he an Alexander? No. Hobbs? Hobbs. Max, Max death. Anyway, look, he ate so much wild game. Okay.

And like, if you eat wild game, like squirrel rabbits or doves, all the stuff we legally can kill with a shotgun. Okay. You're going to swallow some pellets. Oh, yeah. Well, used to they was all lead. Yeah, so they didn't break your tooth, whatever you did it. Well, anyway, yeah, you would smash it and you, you know, and spit it out.

Yeah, but hey, guess what? Sometimes you swallowed them, okay? And look, he had ate so much, okay, he got real sick. Was in the hospital. They couldn't figure out what was wrong with it, and he's going to the deal. They don't call a family, and it's got serious. He's dying. You know, they called family, and he,

and so they finally run him through the x-ray machine, and he locked up like a Christmas tree. And I don't know what caught it. It wasn't his liver. It may have been... Appendix. Well, it may have been an appendix. Or spleen once.

Yeah. But anyway, look, I'm serious. When they x-rayed it, they showed the family. It looked like a Christmas tree. It was spots, bright spots everywhere. Number eight shot everywhere. Hey, six is four. Number eight coming out of the gate now.

Fours, twos. Yeah. All of. Eight shots. You know, look, they picked out one like 100. They took his spleen and they got, they just, it's in a bottle. You know what that tells me? Uncle Marvin ate in a hurry.

Oh, no, no. Well, how? I chew a little bit. I chew a little bit easier. He didn't care. Uncle Marvin didn't care. I want to see a picture of his dental records. Oh, no, no, no.

That was the weirdest thing to look at. I'm serious because we all got to look at it. It was crazy. Okay, and they, I'm serious, they had 100 pellets. Did he almost die? Yeah, he liked to die. Heavy metal poisoning, lead poisoning. Lead poisoning.

Too much heavy. They had to operate on him and took his spleen out, you know, and they took 100 pellets all sizes out of his spleen. I bet he felt a lot better. Oh, no, look, he lived like 15 years, and he was, what, 70 at the time. So he died like 85, yeah. And, hey, look, y'all, he was 10 years young. when he come out after they got rid of that junk.

And 10 pounds lighter. Oh, yeah. Oh, hey. At least a couple ounces. That's a couple ounces of shot, too. Now, let me bring up something because I met some of size Kenfolk and Vivian. Vivian. Yeah.

Okay, the Alexander's. Great people. I mean, awesome. Very hospitable. I think the Robertsons are great at that. Anyway, so Tim and his family, size cousin Tim tells me that. what you said the robertsons were very hospitable well you know they i mean feeding people filling k bringing people in the house size mom they're very welcoming the first time you meet them

hey come here sit down let me whatever physical attributes you have is about to be your name whatever physical anomaly you have anything bad hey get on over here big nose hey limpy limpy limp over here no legs no horse head horse head names. Forehead. That's... No, no, I'm sorry. I thought you was making a joke.

No, no, they are. Well, they welcome you. They just insult you when they're there. Well, Sa's mom taught them to be hospitable. I'll say that. All right. That's because that vacuumed cell. I'm just telling you.

Is that true or false? Oh, no. She scared us as kids. Oh, I believe it. Because that was back in the day that hobos rode the trains a lot. And they'd be laying in a cotton gin or work. And we'd run up on them and mama say, go down and bring him up, wake him up gently and then bring him to the house. And feed him, right?

Oh, yeah. Yeah. She ate a dozen eggs, a pound of bacon, and a loaf of bread. And now when people see you walking down the street, they're trying to feed you. Yeah. Hey, come here. You need to say one. They're trying to feed Willie, too.

Oh, I know. Yeah. In the Walmart parking lot. Yeah. I'm aware. And we in the bus that's got everybody's faith in the wheel and said, hey, look here. Go ahead, Phil. We had you.

So anyway, it was great visiting with all size. family from Vivian. They told a bunch of great stories and we had a good time. But one story that your cousin Tim told me was that his teeth were bad. He had them all pulled and a year later he had grown three inches taller. Ain't gained weight. Is that, have you ever heard anything like that? I'm just serious. That can't be a. I don't know what kind of correlation them has. I don't either. No, he had bad teeth. Okay. This is like... Rotten?

Yeah, rotten. Okay, so he... He finally pulling him. Actually, you know, cleared him up. Made him healthy? Yeah, yeah, made him healthy. Oh, okay. Because he was he.

How old was he when he had his teeth? Oh, I don't know. That's awful late to be having a gross place. He had gross. I mean, his wife backed him up. So I was like, is that true? I'm thinking about having mine pulled and I can grow a little. So what made you put him down?

A heart attack. A massive heart attack. Heart attack, open heart surgery. Yeah. When you're laying in a hospital bed and a doctor tells you to do something, it normally works. At least for a while. Unless you're stubborn.

So what's the helmet here for? Oh, I rode my scooter here this morning. Why didn't you bring the truck? It was out of gas. You rode a scooter here? The other one I rode in the show. That's not true. I kept it so I run out of gas.

That once in a little bit. Gas prices are so high. He's riding. I'm not a scooter. Side, let me take you home when we leave. Well, okay. You're in your truck? You won't be the first person that's taking him home.

You got to put a scooter in there for me. Well, let's take our last break. Let's lay this down and we'll come down. Then find and what's in the box, boy. Johnny D. What is in at hello at duck callroom. Dot call room. Let's have some fun.

Let's solve some worse problems and all kinds of. You want to have fun? I have some... Sure. I don't know that I have any fun ones. Oh, well, then let's be serious. All you jerks with your Christmas Street Cake ice cream, quit sending pictures. Yeah, I hope you choke on it.

Justin from California with your four bottles of it. Hey, there you go, Justin. And your ugly camo and your tiny beer. I like it. Buy some real tree, sir. Yeah. You got money to afford them. You can afford new camo.

Apparently, and his email, he named every one of our... sponsors, but he lives in Orange County, California. That's why he could find it. Because everybody up there's eating kale and vegan stuff. But he's from Bogalusa. Okay. How'd he end up there? He lost a bet.

You know, I got a lot of questions. But, hey. Bogalusa, where? Louisiana. I mean, I don't think Bogalusa is. If there's more than one, Bogalusa, that sounded like you should have a Mississippi behind it. It's right beside Mississippi.

When we were in Mississippi doing an event, it's right, but next to Bogalusa. Well, that's what I thought it was. Bogus. That's a cool name. All right. All right, ready? Yeah.

Here's a life advice question. Life advice. Okay. And we're going to have to take a stand on a subject. Reese from Northern Eden, Indiana. Was curious what we think about tattoos. From a biblical's perspective. Because there is a verse.

Oh, there is a verse. That makes him worried. Oh, that's a verse. It's in Libyicus. an interesting topic. He's thinking about he's been wearing a groove life ring, but he's thinking about getting a

tattoo of his wife's initials, I guess, on his ring finger. She says no to tattoos, so there's your answer. But maybe we could shed a little light on the subject. Where's the verse? Leviticus? It's in Leviticus. What book of the Bible is that?

Genesis Exodus, Leviticus. Third book. There you go. Okay. Yeah, but you know, I'll take it first. Oh, you got me. What does it say? I didn't know. It says that you're not supposed to do it.

But it also, there's a ton of different things like what you don't do, don't do, don't do, don't do. But the whole law is summed up in the New Testament. See, that was all the old covenant. The new covenant, when Christ's blood made the new covenant, we're not under law anymore. or so, if you're wearing shirts that have double different mesh together, like that's one of them in Leviticus. There's so many, if your goat gets out

and... A lot of Leviticus was about health too. You have to stone the animal. Uncleaning and clean animals. So, yeah, I would say in the past, God spoke to our forefathers in many ways and various times, but in these last days he spoke to us through his son whom he appointed heir over

all things. And the commandment is, the commandment is that we are no longer under law. That's why we kill and eat. Kill it. So if you want to get a tattoo, I think it's okay. There's nothing that says you can't. It's not a sin to get a tattoo.

No. My personal, poor sale on that is, I don't, the only time I dealt with Naila's when we was making darts. Yeah. If you got a tattoo, you didn't want it, did you? Yeah.

Otherwise, no, I ain't in it. You got tattooed. Yeah, I just, that was, you're out on a mom. I'm not out on them. I just, I don't have any, but my wife does. Yeah, there's not the normal. And, like, I don't, it's just not for me personally.

Yeah. Like, I don't want one. I've yet to stumble across something I wanted to put on my body. Like, I just, that's fine. I mean, I think both sides of it are fine because, like, tattoos done by a real artist are some of the coolest things. I mean, it's not for me, but, like, I look at them, I can appreciate fine artwork on somebody's body. Like, I think that's really cool.

Yeah. Well, I think. But if that, if a tattoo is going to keep you out of heaven. No. Hammer. You wouldn't make it there anyway. No. No, no. I'm just saying.

Hammer. Yeah, that ain't. That ain't. I was going to say biblically, I didn't know of anything there. But, you know, Al, I think Al's got a tattoo of a girl's name on his bike. He's got his own name on his forearm that he did himself. Al. It says, Al. It says, Al.

I always asked him why he didn't put return to send her under it or something. I mean, I don't, how do you, are you worried about spelling owl, A-L? How do you tattoo yourself too? Yeah, my only thing, Reese, as a person who does have tattoos, one of them's Jesus. I got my kids' names, and then I've got my anniversary is, uh, I would say, Google it. You're going to get arguments from both sides, read them both, and then you can make an informed opinion on how you feel, who you think's right, who you think's wrong. I promise you, there's somebody out there that says tattoos are a sin.

You can go read it. I clearly disagree with that. But there's going to be somebody that explains it kind of like Phil says. So I'd say, just research it and form your own opinion on that one. Yeah, if you want it, if you want it, go get it. Go to Vegas and get this on your arm. Hey, but let me tell you this before you. I was there.

Before you move on, I've had kids come into our program with jailhouse tattoos, just rough looking, you know. Some of the sweet. My kids' names look like jailhouse tattoos. Uh-oh. Did you do them? They were cheap, though. But anyway, but you know what? They're great kids, and I love these kids, and they've got great lives ahead of them.

And there's nothing negative or wrong with it, but I will say this. I wasn't comfortable with their tattoo because I didn't like them. You know, it's just like, oh, he kind of looks rough. He's probably this, this, this, this. So I formed opinions about them. But once I got to know them, then I was like, man, I was kind of prejudging some of. you know, just because of look and I shouldn't have. And I learned from that.

And I think you hear their stories all the time about people that don't get jobs because of tattoos and this, that, the other, you know. So I don't know. In a time and place that was probably, they judged based off of the crowd they kept a lot of times. But now, I mean, I see, I mean, look, Willie's got it, Corey got it, Sadie got it. Like, I'm just giving you examples of, like, normal everyday people that have. that I just I don't see a problem with them again I just think I ain't found nothing I want on me yeah yeah maybe one day but not right now like I'll keep wearing the groove ring and

I've gone this long side with Alam well I would rather have something I could just slip off and he won't even wear that and putting your pocket yeah yeah no I thought away but I don't want it for it's permanent yeah okay I'm with you all right next All right, thanks, Reese. Also, if your wife doesn't like them, there's your answer. Here's a very interesting one that's kind of deep. And I've thought about it a lot too. Dan from Branson, Missouri.

This show a mistake. Oh, we got two bells now. Okay, we've got two bells, boys. So, I'm kind of reading this over just so I get to the point because there's a lot to it. Basically, he's seen a lot of scant. over the years with these huge celebrity preachers is what he's going to call it. Amen. Oh, boy.

Send us $5. We'll hear you, sir. If you want to know the truth, you can call me and send your money. He might not be talking about that necessarily. I'm assuming this is in reference to the money found in the bathroom. No, no, no. Oh, that is a good one, though, Justin. What he struggles with, and there's really good celebrity pastors out there, in my opinion, and there's some that I'm like, you know.

So he's just wanting to get our input on how we as Christians should view Christ with fame and the discernment we need with celebrity. You know, putting some of these pastors over others because they got a bigger platform. Man, the good Lord gives you whatever platform you got and what you're. do with it is your thing. The world can get into that just like they can get into anything. That doesn't matter. That's more measured the man. And isn't it somewhere in Peter that says, I don't care why they're sharing it, just keep sharing it? He's like, that's 20 million them. Well, whenever he got to answer for that, but keep sharing the good news. Jesus actually told his disciples, they wrote on somebody that was preaching for money.

Yeah. Essentially. Okay. But he said, Don, leave him alone. Let him be. Let him be. I'll take care of him. Yeah. That's one of them things, you know. I wouldn't get bogged down in that.

That's why John 316 and 17 is my favorite verse. And the reason is you need to read 17. Yeah. It's the Savior of the world did not come down here and condemn anyone or judge anyone. homie homie let me dig you know me homie don't play that hey hey

you're not qualified so hey don't judge anybody yeah leave me alone let them do with their yeah gotta take care of that

we do live in a weird day and age where I mean Sadie's a Christian celebrity basically and praise you can argue for a preacher God for her and I hope my daughter

grows up watching everything she does but it is a weird day and age where, you know, we can get two million followers on a phone. And some of these preachers, I mean, we went through a period a couple years ago where you couldn't go to church. I mean, it was a short while here in Louisiana. So some of these people, they've got a huge platform.

And praise God for it, it's a great way to get the word out. And yeah, there's pitfalls there. And some of them have fallen because they're humans. Well, the Bible says, okay, hey, don't put anybody on a pedestal. Correct. Especially in the human race, because if you do, they're not. They're going to fail you. Yeah.

So all scripture is God breathed and used for, useful for teaching, preaching, and rebuking so that the man of God might be thoroughly equipped. Now, if I'm thoroughly equipped, if I'm thoroughly equipped, I've got everything I need. So if I'm building a garden and Justin says, hey, Philip, are you thoroughly equipped? I said, yeah. And then later I say, wait a minute, I still need a hoe. I still need this. Let me borrow that tiller.

Then you've never been, you weren't thoroughly equipped. So God has given us what we need to be thoroughly equipped, and that's salvation and Jesus' death-bearing resurrection and his ascension. These things, those are more weightier than other things. So if someone is preaching about Jesus, first of all, I'm glad to hear it because I deal with a lot of things that are anti-Jesus. So when I run across somebody who is a fellow believer, I don't care what name you have on your building,

man, I'm glad to see you. Not only that, but I'm going to kind of look at it in a way where I'm going to be more merciful about anything when it comes to people who are following Jesus. I mean. Yeah. Love it. Love it. That was good.

I'm just winging at it. All right, one more. I feel like I feel personally attacked by Robert from Dothan, Alabama. He has a question. I love for you guys to discuss. us on the show. How do you feel about grown men playing video games?

Side, Dothan Alabama is where the Chord buddy, Travis Perry. OTP. Is this something that only children and teenagers should do? I personally think they're a waste of time and childish things should be put aside when becoming a man. However, he's got a lot of friends that do it.

They all have families. I'll give you my example personally, okay? Me and my son, when he was going up, he was going into Nintendo. okay and he played uh that's back to 1900 who's the best golfer that used to be philip mcmillan back on that golf maybe no no no what jack nicholas tiger woods tiger woods yeah tiger woods he had that on nintendo okay and we he got me to play because you know so he'd have someone to you know competition so he could beat the brakes off of no no no no sorry i got my dad to

play me a couple of them Sorry, Dad. You know, that was time. I needed up my ranking. That was time that me and my son had your father's son time. Absolutely. Yeah. Okay.

So it's all about your perspective about this. Somebody will say, well, okay, no, it says in the Bible, you know, grow up and be manly and all this, okay. Well, hey, look, you know, that's son and father time. That's important. So, hey, I like that, aside from that, aside from that, me and Brittany, play Mario Kart to this date. That's husband and wife time. No, no.

If you can pull off, it's all about your perspective. If you can pull off family time with it, I'm all for it because my kids and wife, we'll all be in there playing some kind of game I've never played before. And now, listen, they put something over your face and you can. Oh, the VR? Yeah, you're in another world. I haven't done that.

And you can watch it. We need to see Sioux. You can watch it. You can watch it. We'll do it on the big screen. You can put it on your TV so everybody can see what you're doing. Well, as a person who plays video games and has friends that play with it, there's a balance, just like it's a hobby.

Yeah, absolutely. And if I'm going home and I'm going and locking an office door and my kids are upstairs playing video games and I'm in my office playing video games and I got a headset on talking to my buddies, there's a problem. Yeah, too much time when your buddies is not your family. But you can say the same thing about fishing. Golf. Oh, yeah.

Golf. Duck hunting. Poker. If it's becoming between you and your family, problem. Yeah, absolutely. I don't play video games. If my kids are awake, I'm not playing a video game without, I might play it with them. I ain't playing one by myself or with my friends.

Yeah, it's certainly all about perspective. It's all about balance, I would say. And some people get everything out of balance. And the reason I don't have a lot of those video games, because, like, I can get severely addicted to them. Like, I get it. But you know that. But I know that. Instead, I keep the fun ones like Mario Kart. It's like, nothing addictive about Mario Kart.

You just get on there, hit people with green shells and like. Green shells and Saa needs to see some of that. Or somebody drops a fake box on your nose or whatever. Like, I mean, it happens. What are the popular games right now? Oh, like Call of Duty and all that stuff. Mario Kart. We play the Switch.

It's still the same old thing. Me and the kids. In a Switch, you go retro and, like, play games from your child. Oh, they're playing. My kids make their own Mario levels now. And then they bring it to me to try and beat. Yeah. And that's pretty cool. I smoke my kids. Yeah. Well, there's a way to go. They're seven five to be proud. Thanks a lot, Dad. Anyway. Win sometimes. Not off. John D. Let's close. You got a Bible word. You know what? I'm just going with Sa's favorite verse. Do it. He said it. We've done it before. We're going to do it again. This one's worth doing more than once. For God so loved the world that he gave as one and only son that who, ever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life for god did not send his son into the world to condemn the world but to save us but to save the world through him amen

praise jesus all right we'll see y'all next time all right we're going we gone