Duck Call Room - Uncle Si's Family was Involved in a Shootout

Episode Date: December 18, 2025

Uncle Si shares some jaw-dropping family lore, including the deadly Robertson shootout that split the kin, the hot-pepper torture his cousins put him through as a baby, and the claim his aunt was practically a circus-ready bearded lady. Martin can’t get over how mean the Robertson kids were back then, and Phillip is finally ready to retire his Santa suit at the children’s home where he’s worked for 30 years. The boys celebrate John-David officially stepping into the career his 17-year-old self once dreamed about as he’s invited back to his alma mater to speak at Career Day. - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Anyways. Yeah. All right, welcome back to the podcast, ladies and gentlemen. Go, keep it together. The family that hate when I laughed just got so mad. The jokes beforehand today were great, people. Oh, man, y'all see it one day. I don't know when, but one day we'll get all this out of here.

A dark years. Yeah. It's just a couple of dark minutes a lot of times. You've got to get everything out of your system before you go live. It's just duck call room for adults. It's duck call locker room is what it is. It's hilarious. It's objectively hilarious.

Yeah, welcome back, Phillip. Wow, thank you. I appreciate it. Martin. I do know where you got that jacket. You do? Yeah. Even knows what that's at.

In the middle of that big field and Springfield, downtown Springfield, Missouri, by the way, out in the middle of nowhere. I didn't notice the logo was on the jacket. How much merch did you seal from a dentist shop? Did you just lose a tooth? No, you got new teeth. No. No, that's not right.

So I've got an visaline, and they're straightening out my teeth in order to do some other work. Don't switch the trays too fast. I hear about it all the time. Oh, I'm not going to. Got to go by the bill. I'm a rule follow. That's what Brittany does. So, yeah, if you want to catch a proper scolding.

Oh, okay. Oh, that's what she does? No, Dr. Megan's got me in line. I got to send her a picture every week. Not only does she have them in line. She has him invisible. This is not an ad, by the way. But if you're looking for one,

Ding, ding, ding. We got you. So, y'all, y'all went by. Was there a picture of Si on the, on the building out with a big one? No, all I saw was that thing. You saw that? And it's, it's like, boom. Is that a colon or a semicolon?

Like a semicolon. That's a semicolon. I never know which is. So we say it's in the middle of nowhere because you kind of kind of drive around the back to get there, you know. Yeah, but it's right off of the interstate in Springfield, Missouri. You can't miss it. No, you cannot miss it. A big glass building.

And I was like, I was like a mile away and I was sitting there thinking, why does that look familiar? And then as I get closer, I see the smile. And I said, oh, okay. I do know where this is. I know where I'm at now. I don't know why anyone would want to be a dentist. Can you imagine just putting your hands in other people's mouth all day?

No, but they do work some pretty sweet hours. Mm-hmm. Like, they choose their own schedule and they, I guess they pick out how much money they want to make in a year and like whatever that equals. That's how much it works. They just keep working until then. Yeah, they're like, eh, you know. Good for the dentist.

Yeah, they take off months. I miss that at Career Day. And speaking of Career Day, uh-oh. That whole bunch is good people. And I noticed that Size enjoyed it since he's had his new teeth, y'all. Oh, ain't no doubt. And I've sent y'all some pictures from the meet and greets that we've been to.

And he's got some big smiles. You've got them big cheese and big. They love it. People love it. Look, but speaking of Career Day, I've got big, news. Uh-oh. I'm finally an adult.

I got a text this morning from the high school that I graduated from. Inviting me back. Warshitae Christian. For Career Week, and I'm going to speak to the high schoolers. Oh, you're going to speak. About career. Did they give you a full list of who's there? No, but I may want to know that for you sign up.

I'm on a panel and I couldn't be more excited to be the weird. Who's on the panel with you? I don't know. We won't know. It's not until February. I've got your theme song ready. I think I'm going to have walk-up music. Here it is.

I'm digging up worms. I'm digging up worms. But yeah, I'm thinking about missing it and sending sigh in my place. Just like that episode. Yeah, which career do they want to know about? I don't know. They're not going to let sigh back in. They want to know about the tackle shop or they want to know about the podcast?

I actually asked that question. Semi-retired reality TV star? And nobody, they didn't respond to that. They didn't get no input. I said, do y'all want retail or podcast or what? Or output? Maybe. If you need podcast help.

Oh. Hunter, that would be a big deal for you. Hunter, do you want to turn to career day? I think we should all just show up. Back to school. I hear it and I'm like, oh, thank God. Nobody asked me. Oh, you should come with me.

It'll be hilarious. Oh, I'm not. But here's the best part. I was thinking about it. I was like, yeah, I'll do it. It'll be funny. And then I thought, but what about my high school yearbook? You're going to take it with you?

Yeah, I am. because there is a section of the senior quote no yeah they ask you what you want to be yeah yes what was it it says after graduation i planned two and i had to fill it out guess what a 17 year old john david owen wrote a gynecologist no what gosh no maybe that was just me at 17 no not me uh that's a tough thing i want business owner a professional slow, no. Slope is soft. Yeah.

I might have thought it. I want to be at marketing for the New Orleans Saints. I have no idea. All right, here it is. Read it. At the top. Get fat and take over the honey hole. You've done both of those.

Boom, boom. You've done both of those. Exactly. I'm the perfect person. I knew fat. Wow, you're hairling. Wow. Look at that face.

I buzzed it. I don't know, but that's incredible that. comes that far down your forehead. Oh, yeah. You have like a three head. I'm like, that's incredible. Yeah, I got a lot of hair.

Yeah. But I, at 17 years old, apparently for one day at least my golden life was to get fat and take over the honey hole and I did it. And they put it in writing. You did it. And I put it and they even printed it. I've seen you at your biggest. And now I know that you've taken over the honey.

Well, not checks. I hadn't taken. You're, you're preparing to take over. But how about that? I'm just glad to know that you of all people went and took your picture. I was told to stand on the train tracks. I don't know, man. Brain tracks.

On this episode of Bayou Life. By you're so dull. Yes, that's for our local listeners. I'm very proud of the fact that I nailed my career choices. You did it. You did it. I laughed so hard when I thought of that. That's funny.

The rest of them I was just talking about my old biology teacher. Apparently I had a thing for, which is weird. Like 17-year-old me, calm down. I haven't seen you shaving in a long time. I haven't shaved my face in like 12 years. But I didn't go to the barber back then either. I got a bad haircut at 15, went, bought some clippers, buzzed my head for a few years, then just quit everything.

And now I go to barber. Your hair line incredibly low in that picture. That's cool. I mean, that means you got a lot of it. It's actually higher now than it was. You have lost a little, but nothing. Now he's got a forehead. You said he had a three-clips.

He had a three-headed. Man, that was great. Most people got a five-head. You know, at four is the standard. Most folks got five. But Johnny D. was rocking at about a three. Yeah, he was. That was interesting.

No. Anyways. I'm going to tell those kids about going to college for six years, not knowing what they're going to do in life, in the easiest degree they can and then selling worms. I don't know what can go wrong. And if you know Uncle Si, your life gets way easier. Something tells me you're shooting for this to be a lot.

one-time ask. Are your kids going to be there? What age are you speaking? It's high school. Like, it's the kid's about to graduate. Yeah, so it's like the gym's going to stink.

Yeah. Because the high schoolers walking. I hope I'm not in the gym. What are they going to ask you? I don't know. I have no idea. You think Hiddyam's going to ask you for a job. You should take application.

Heck no. Yeah, no, you don't have to hire anybody. Just take the application. Brain time is coming. But I'm 50 and over to work for me as the rule. Now?

unless older. You could work for me. Oh, I couldn't. They're the only ones that know how to work. I'd ruin your business. Why? He'd be fishing all the time. Oh, Side being there making his own combos.

We already know that story. This is what you need, the size special right here. Devil horse. I don't know what they'll ask me or why I was even chosen, but I'm actually halfway excited about it. I just want to know. You got to find out who else is on this. Oh, no, we will circle back to this.

And I'm sure it's going to be like people in suits. But then another girl that graduated the year before me was sitting by Donald Trump the other day. It was wild. Oh, Elton's daughter? Yeah. Merrill. I saw that. I saw that.

I know that person. Yeah, I saw her. I was like, well, look at Merrill. She made it, man. So I hope she's not there because then I'm going to be the weirdo at the end. I like it as the representative of farmers across America that chose Merrill Kennedy. And I'd love to know what Donnie said to her. Like, because he got a little bit of sight.

Merrill is, she's Merrill. That's Martin's way of saying. I don't want to get in trouble here, but she's a very attractive woman. Yeah, she's not ugly. So, uh, and her daddy grows a bunch of rice. Bunch of rice. And they sell a bunch of cookies. No, that's not always,

and they sell rice too, four sisters rice. It's actually just really good. It's what I buy at the store. Good rice. Best rice for them. So, Sire, what would you tell them? What would you tell this, this group of, uh, seniors? What?

Sir, we already have that on video and he looked them in the eyes and said, you can't never heard of a non? No, that's why I said, Amy. Okay. My niece. Kimmer. Oh, yeah. Judy's daughter.

Yeah. She invited me to talk to the kids in kindergarten before I went to school. And it was wild because when I first got up, I didn't know how about it or what I was going to say. And I get up and look at all these kids and I said, you know what? This is the most amazing thing to be here.

I said, because I'm standing in. here thinking, I could be looking at the next president of the United States of America. Well, the last one you did, you fell asleep on. Well, you know, look, I'm working hard. These boys have been running me to death. If you think I ain't going to bust you at least 10 more times for falling asleep, all that, you got to roll down, man. All I can say in my defense is, man, I was tired.

And Carter would not stop talking. And I'll say that his... And I got on, well, Star Wars and, hey, yeah. Well, look. We edited that a little. All right, look, springtime is here. It's warming up. You know what that means?

That means more outside cooking. And y'all know we love to eat beef around here. And that's what because of our friends over at Triedells beef makes such a good product, baby. Ain't it good? It's so good. Our friend, Sao Robertson would say, buy on the grill! Look, before we got Triedails, getting ready for a cookout, man, somebody had to run the grocery store, do all the things, grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day.

And you never really know where that beef comes from. But with Tritails beef, we skip the grocery store and do it a different way. Tritels comes from a family ranch out in Texas. They're a fifth generation American ranch. So they've been at it for a while. Now, look, the beef comes straight from their ranch and other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way. Their steaks are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door. we threw a couple of ribbys on the grill.

Look, salt, pepper, garlic, hot fire, that's all you need. Look, because I tell you what, when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living, you can taste the difference. The tenderness and the flavor are fantastic. So if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season,

go check out Triedails beef. I know in size case, Christine loves it, which is just a, she doesn't eat meat. She isn't a big meat easier, folks. Yeah. Just go to trybeef.com slash. That's tribeef.com slash. support ranch families and eat some dang good steak.

Did you tell him that you changed your medication and it's been knocking, making you tired? I just told him. What he's told us that. Yeah, he had to change medication and it's been making him tired and y'all drag him in here. Y'all drag him in here? Hey, that's true. I ask Christine every time if it's okay.

I am not dragging him anywhere. Hunter stick it up for himself. How much he pay you to say this? I have my wife to blame for this crap, huh? Yeah. Yeah, but blame your wife. Now it makes sense. Uh-huh.

I don't know why they're running me so hard. I hate to disrupt this story. I got to make more money for that red-ed woman of mine is bad. I hate to disrupt your story about the kids, but what medicine they change you? What's got you sleeping? Like blood pressure medicine or something? Oh, I don't know. Yeah.

He takes a wad of it. I don't even know what I'm taking. Hey, look, I don't know what I'm taking and we, even what are. Hey, y'all know that he don't know what he's taking. or if he's taking it. Yeah. Because he'll tell you he's taking it. No, I was just curious on what would affect the sleeping unless, you know.

On a real note, do I need to ask you to come in here less? No, I just, yeah. Yeah, do that. We can't get four to show up anyway. So we ask people to come in here less and this is going to be the me and John David show. Yeah. Well, we already know people in the comments love us. Oh.

That's funny. Johnny, I don't know what you need to tell them, but... I don't either. I know. I had a bad night is what happened. That night? Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, well, you ain't got it. No, no. No, no. I'm just serious. I was serious. I was serious. I just like busting your chops about it. Hey, I called...

You're sleeping, snoring. I had those nights. Carter said, you did so? Respectly, look, if I leave and go anywhere, yeah. I laid you in the bed all night. Yeah. All night.

I mean, I'm talking about, hey. No, no, I didn't doze off, nope. No, no. I'm laying there all night long waiting. I look at my watch and say, God, it's going to take, it's going to take forever the daylight to get here. I do love duck season because every night I fall asleep about 9 o'clock on the couch. Oh, no.

Unless your wife beat you to the couch and then you're in trouble. No, we got one big enough for both of them. That's what's wrong. What? I don't go duck hunting all the time anymore. He ain't ever tired. And I ain't tired. No duck hunting.

We fixed it. I didn't. We fixed it. You fall asleep at 9. Yeah. You sound like Allison. No, I fell asleep at. Yeah, I was, I bet I was asleep before.

And then you get up 4.30? Yeah. Before 9. Before you're not hunting. Yeah. Did you wear your side? You're going to 9 o'clock? Oh, I was fully dressed, yeah.

Now, I didn't go to bed. I just was watching something. I think I was watching Food Network or something. How old are you? What's on on Wednesday night? Survivor. Yeah, thank you. Oh, no.

The worst part of Survivor, and Allison got a job this year, so she goes to bed at, you know, 615, 730, somewhere in there. So we're slow. We watch TV in 15-minute increments together before she's asleep on the count. That's kind of the way me and Brittany did stranger things, this new city and they're strangers things. We've committed to waiting for Christmas break from school so we can actually watch. Oh, when the rest of it comes out.

No, well, you just want to watch a whole episode without Allison falling asleep. Oh, yeah, good luck with that. Yeah, the first night, she said, oh, she was fired up about it. it and she turned it all and I don't even know if I made it 12 minutes and I'm not going to miss it. I'm glad to know Britney's in my position here. Yeah. I'm not going to miss the episode of Survivor. Y'all can watch whatever you want to.

I thought you and Brittany watch a show together and me and I was going to catch up. Yeah, we'll start watching the same show and I'll just text Britney. Why do you watch that crap? I love it. Survivor. Yeah. Survivor's awesome. You gotta be kidding me.

The tribe has spoken. That's right. And hey, that's real. That is real TV. boys, I'm telling you, I've been on both sides. That's real. Maybe. Uh-huh. I want to be on it. So apply.

I have. You've applied, hold on, you've applied to Survivor. I've got a video. I should show it to you. Willie applied for one time? Willie did. Willie was on the, well, he was almost on the Amazing Race. Him and Ashley tried to be on the Amazing Race a long time ago. Gives me an idea.

Are you inside? Me and sigh. Amazing Race. You probably shouldn't sign, sigh up for anything. race involved. Oh, or amazing? Amazing.

Amazing. Oh, amazing. Storytelling. Yeah. Amazing size is great at. That's right. I would make it amazing.

But race, no. Yeah, race ain't really his forte. I don't. He does like to go fast. I probably win Survivor because everybody there's loving. Oh,

talk about that. And he'd be on a way far enough. He used to be on Big Brother. Just moving to the house. I was driving down the highway going home the other day and a truck come by and threw a rock up and put a kick in my darn woodchill. Golly. That pissed me off so bad.

Was it a big truck because there's a 118 wheelers lined up by the paper mill down by where you live? I'm just saying, there's he a big truck, and hey, he threw a rock and all the hard. I thought somebody shot at me. Yeah. Yeah. It took a hit, it, pow. The worst is when you see it. I was looking.

It took me a minute to find it. Like I've been on interstate before, and you see it, and it looks like a boulder, and you're like, yeah, this is going to be. Boom. It's like, and that's all it did was that little nick. Thank you. But a goose made it through. You were so that. So that's weird.

Hey, it's like a... The goose is on the loose. I've been watching it because it hit. I heard about that goose. It knocked a little dim, a little hole with it. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah. The, uh,

Hey, that's better in the buzzards. It is better. You've told the buzzards. Yeah, no, no, because Phil, Phil come up on some buzzers and didn't slow down. One of them jumped up and, hey, next day he knows. He's in the truck with Phil. He knocked the windshield.

out and he's in the in the truck with feel and you know he said you know really now yeah i don't want to hit anything the best one was though when jimmy frank hit that cow hit that cow i'm chatting in a bw wait a minute oh joe yeah no no in a b in a dw go watch the carter episode it's he slid up under him hey it's a it's magical then the cow go oh if you i'd have loved it had a a video of it. Oh, yeah. That would have handed you a huge check. That Bob Saggett would have

around back in, wasn't it? That would have been epic. So I have Jimmy Frank, Senator, a big cow, and it crushed that beetle the old cab in. When did America's funny as some video start? I don't know, but when I hear that,

I think about Christmas vacation. You know, when old boy Chevy Chase drives up under the log truck and it's just the perfect size. Is Christmas vacation the greatest? move christmas movie it's a good that's a golf course it's a pretty good one it's a good the golf course and eddie is funny i like him golf course all the whole thing what what's the little addie shack caddy shack he's talking about Chevy chase movies oh

i said Christmas movies not Chevy chase movies well let's just for the jump up i like the golf course where he's trying to kill them uh gophers gophers and hey he blows the whole course up That's because that's what you were doing in Alabama all of them. You were Bill Murray. I think that's something. You got that going for him. Well, that was hilarious. I would,

what is the greatest Christmas movie? It depends on how old you are. That's a good point. What do you get left at home? Oh, boy. Hunters raised on. Die hard movie, no.

No, it's not. One is one or the kids. You made fun of me for that before. Home alone? Home alone. Yeah. That's the greatest. I watched Home Alone yesterday at work.

That's a good one. Because they're two idiots. They're two idiots that he keeps messing up. That's hilarious. Well, if you look at it like in your, if you look at it and it's like body stature, it's like Philip and Cy try to break into a house. I mean, he got Sy as Marv and he got Philip over here just Joe Pesci. And Carter's Kevin.

I mean, you see these two, the dynamic duo going around. They could be the wet bandits and then the sticky bandits. Y'all should do that as Halloween one time. You and Cy go as a group costume of the wet bandits. I'd pay money to see it. Or you may have to be the sticky bandits because I don't know if you could really tote around wet, but you could have gloves with the tape and all that stuff. Oh, you do the, you put the iron on size phase.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, you do like the end of Home Alone. Oh, do the full makeup. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you burn a, burn a beanie and put it on his head. Give him a gold tooth, but take it away. Bing. I don't know your thought of as Joe Pessie.

feel like that's awesome I don't care I've been called worse yeah I'm sure everybody thinks I'm Fred off the Grinch that big reindeer you know no Flintstone oh Flintstone

well Fred off the Grinch Oh you're on that new Grinch That's the one the boys like I'm not on it That's the one they're on so about But that's not a bad one No it's funny I mean I like it

Oh sugar plums Jackson says it at least 100 times a day He drops up now he goes Sugar Plums but you know what christmas movies are really not popular anymore it's the old like rudolph the red nose reindeer movies oh brittie's favorite is the year without a santa claus i'm about to get blasted in the comments you want to know why those aren't because they stink yeah playmation's not your thing it's not it's not it should have been left in the past where it was it's a weird story it's bizarre

you know what's funny will feral in a tiny house that's great Yeah. It's funny. Yeah, we watched, last night, we watched the year without a Santa Claus. I like, Heat Miser and Snow Miser. What? Oh, yeah. Yeah, from like 19-65.

What's his name? Rooney is the guy in it or whatever, or Santa Claus. I don't get it. What, Mickey Rooney? I don't know. No, it was somebody else. Yeah. No, it was Mickey Rooney.

Was it? Oh, I've seen it enough because that's Britney's favorite. Like, that was one of... That's Britney's favorite movie? Mm-hmm. Her favorite Christmas movie. She'd grow up in the 60s? Maybe.

I mean, there's a change. Her parents did. Yeah. But what about Jingle all the way? On the Schwarzenegger. What about that one? What? I don't think I've seen Jingle all the way.

It's a good. Turbo Man. Oh, Hunter said me neither. You haven't seen Jingle with Turbo Man, Jamie. Yeah, that's it. And he breaks in his neighbor's house to steal the kid's toy and the reindeer beats him up. Phil Hartman. It's a great movie.

I ain't seen him. You haven't seen him. You haven't seen jingle all the way? Okay, you got to see it. Top five. Not what I've seen him. I have been to Santa Claus at the Methodist home where I work for 30 years, and I'm hanging it up.

This is my last year. What? Doing it up. You're done? The last Santa. You can't hang that up. Oh, Phil Macmill. I got a replacement.

No. Boo. It's an older gentleman, and he's retired, and he's going to do it for us. That's like I got tricked in the army. Hey, once you get started. Oh, yeah. Then like that, I said, hey, look at me, I'm skinned bones. That's what I said.

You know, well, you can't say it in honesty. You can't say skin and bones. You can't say skin and bones. And honesty, he says. And honesty. That's right. There's a good center right there. You think that's the real one.

You think this is the real one? Yeah, that's the real one. You know who that is? I know who that is. And he makes a good one. Matt and Mary? Mac Owens. My uncle.

Mac Owen. He just needs a little belly. He's putting his hand up like he's pregnant. I know. Oh, Mike looks good. I love that guy. Who ever thought that guy used to be drug at it? Yeah.

Hey, he was. I just know you, man. I mean, I know. When you look at him, you can't help but think. Look at God when you know his story. I know, no. Like, if you don't know a story, you're like, hey, there's some dude dressed up playing Santa. But when you think about the twist and turn it took to get right there, that's incredible, man.

Like bringing so much joy. of children and all that at the Denver airport or wherever he's at there in Denver. I wish it was the Denver airport. It might be, so I'm not even going to correct you. Middle of the airport, Santa sounds like a rough gig. That sounds like when holidays are over and go back to the shoe shine station. Oh, man. I'm doing it one day.

What's that? Santa? You should. I'm, yeah. Oh, I got to go white first. Well, it won't take long. You get the edges. No, no, he got a long time.

Oh, he got a long time. No, I... Hath hadn't gone white. That's the weird part. Was he jet black like you? I think so. Yeah. Except for whenever he bleached it blonde,

looked like him and him. Like a huge cut tip, did it? Yeah, yeah, he did. But... Willie did it better. Yeah, he did it too. They were really good friends. Bubble-headed bleak blonde.

But the, yeah, no, I've always thought I'd go gray or white pretty early like my dad did. And I don't think it's happening. And I'm a little disappointed. Yeah. You got time, friend. That's true. You got time.

Nothing but time. Oh, we could come see Santa at the honeyhole. Then you double dope pop them. Yeah, double do pops. Yeah, there you go. That's it. That's the good look about it. That's a good thing.

Yeah, I don't know. How does my phone, oh. Your phone's going crazy. It's cold, man, so the deer and ducks are moving. Is that what's going on? It's all my trail cameras updating. Yeah. So it's just steady.

Just, bz, bz. So I could, Sa, when you were, let's say, 30, could you imagine having a little box

in your pocket that sent you pictures from the woods on command? No. Isn't it awesome? What a time to be alive,

man. Hey. It is amazing times. Mm-hmm. That is. Like, I just got a picture of a bowl spread

right in front of my camera. How about that? Hey. Ain't that fun? Yep. What the last time you seen one in? It's been a while.

Mm-hmm. You should start naming your ducks like sigh and stone name their deer. No, because then I won't kill them. Oh no, y'all should have seen them. Something gets a name, I don't hunt it. No, no.

Hey. He gets a name, I'm out. I can't do it. You should have seen Sage when she shot Big Red. Yeah. Well, she made a good shot on it.

There you go. 180 yards. Got her. Hey, as soon as just Ketal, down he went. Dang. Down goes Frasier, boys.

Down goes Frasier, boys. Oh, man. So what else you got going on, Phil? You're a retired Santa Claus. A retired Santa Claus. Empty nester for Christmas. Is that kind of weird? I'm celebrating 30 years at the Children's Home in December, which is.

Look at there. What are you going to walk away? Any minute, any minute. No, he ain't going on. Wait, how old are you? 55. Yeah, he got tons of time. Yeah, no, I'll probably be there a long time.

I love it. So I got that going on. All my kids coming in for Christmas, you know, Bryston and Emily. are coming in, Blake, Amber and DJ. Amber got a job as an architect in Arkansas, Bentonville. And so her and DJ lives in. She's up there at Walmart. Yeah.

It's beautiful. Sam. Yep. Uncle Sam. So that's it. America's real Uncle Sam. Sam Walton. That's right.

He was. He was best buddies with your grandfather. Best buddies is strong. Oh, they were buddies. They knew. They did it. Competition. Yeah.

Sam won. I could own the Broncos right now. But they ended up being pretty close to what I understand. Sam Walton wrote the foreword to my papaw's book. Money grows on trees, baby. Does it? That's what my papal said, so I'm believing it. Did you read it?

I've actually never read it. I have read it. I mean, he gave it to me. Alton did. Does it in fact grow on trees? Or is he just big in the timber business? That's just, yeah. It grows on trees if you're willing to really cut.

There's a lot of work probably. You gotta really... Depends on how many trees you guys. How much money you want. You gotta climb trees, pick trees. You gotta do a lot of things for money to grow on trees. No, but I had an interesting phone call today. I was about saying you were telling me something about somebody you met.

So our buddy, me inside, got a buddy, Sal Melatilla. What's his nickname, animal style? Salvador. He's a stockbroker over in Shreveport area. But anyway, he called... me up and we're talking and I'm trying to get him to fly us to West Texas to go dove hunting so we don't have to drive you know anyway he says I've got one of my associates that's here that is kin to Uncle Si he said he said he and put her on the phone she said okay I am size dad James his sister is my grandmother and so she started telling me the stories and was like and something happened with their dads or something was there a the shooting or something one of them got one of my uncles got killed on the levy over cows what was it one like his cousin that shot him or something

well it was that that was around the area yeah because she was telling me it was kinfolk yeah she said it was some kind of kinfolk related they had an argument over it and hey pistols were pulled and hey they killed you dang that'd make for a weird Christmas you ain't But a very interesting Christmas movie. Because the water was, it was a flood year, okay, and the guy didn't have no word for the cows. Oh, except on the levy. Yeah.

And the guy didn't like it and said he considered it his levy. Oh. You know, no, you had a gunfight, you know, got killed. That does happen. I don't think it does. I mean, back then, I've seen it in the western that it happened. Oh, no. At all start.

Stuff like that. You ever watched Open Range? They kill Larry. Everybody over some grazing cows, man. People don't like their cows eating grass, man. Open range of good Western movie, though. But, I mean, everybody gets killed up in there. That's wild.

But it's all over cows grazing. Them cows caused a lot. I'm sitting here trying to thank you. They caused a lot of beef back in the day. I am of Daddy's sister and I can't. She's got pictures and stuff of the family. This woman has a beard. What?

Yeah. Now we're on the ground. Why didn't we start there? This is your dad. sister. You could have told like a fine, lighthearted story. You got to understand. So your aunt had a beard?

Oh, yeah. Could she sing? Yeah. Well, no, no, look. She had, you know, she worked her whole life at the circus. Like a man. I mean, she really did. Okay.

I won't say mildred, but I don't think that's right. Mildred with a beard. No, she had. Does she send you the picture? Why? We got to get her over here. She in Shreeport? Yes, she's in Shreport.

And she wants to meet with Sae and show all the family stuff. We'd love to right here on the dock. Yeah, we'll bring her in here. Call Sal and tell her. Yeah, we get Sal to bring her over. Yeah. But Sal wants to see us the next couple of weeks. Maybe you'll get to meet her and then we bring her on.

There you go. So you're all working out a plane deal with Sal? What kind of plane he got? I don't know. Yeah. Prop job. A what? Pop job.

Yeah, prop. Like a king air or something. There's nothing fancy. Yeah, a million-dollar king air. Yeah, for Saia, no, not too fancy. Hey, I'm serious, she had a beard because she worked like a man all her life. That's how you grow beards? Well, they, she's been working hard.

She grew up on a farm. I had not been doing that. Okay. Hmm. Interesting. She wasn't, when the hay was hauled, she was hauling, throwing it up here and everything else. Are you sure she just didn't have hay all over her face? Mm.

She had a, she had a beard. Like a full beard? Huh? Like a Philip beard or a minute? Or just a five o'clock shadow. No. She had like a, like a. Got teat.

She's not. She raped it? No, no, I'm serious. She had to shave. She kept it trim, right? No, she shaved, okay, and then she had to put, like, a color it on her, you know, cover it up. I'm not speechless often. But I don't know.

No, that's, I mean, it's not. That makes sense that that's y'all's relatives. It's not abnormal. It's not the most famous beard on earth. So, why wouldn't you have a relative that's a lady that has? It's always, I've told you this. I never did meet my grandfathers either one. And it's always pissed me out.

Because Daddy's dad was a judge. That would have been cool to meet him. Yeah. And like the courthouse? Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's why I was saying, Daddy, you know, I've always said that Phil was what I call it a hard man.

He shows no emotion. That was weakness. No. Yeah. Daddy. So how many aunts and uncles did you have, a bunch of them? Two minutes.

The Hales and Hobbs is. Yeah, two minutes to remember. But if this was his daddy's sister, this was size daddy's sister, so this was his aunt. Yeah, that's what I was.

So was she a Hobbs then? No, no, she was a Robertson, but when she married. She got married. But the Hobbs are your mama's family. Yeah.

Is that right? Yep. Okay. So then she would have married. Well, no, the hails. The Hales.

Are your mom's family? Hils is their mom's family. Okay. Yeah, Hobbies are their first cousins. Okay. Because y'all always said y'all's tree pretty straight, but it's kind of crooked here. Marisou, she married an Alexander.

Okay. That's Phil's middle now. Irene married Marvin, and I don't know where he come from. Okay. No. That's ain't Irene. The one that pinking. Oh, no.

One that will cut you with her toes. Got pliers for toes. Yeah. Draw blood. And look. And somebody's always going to be there and she's going to cut that sucker. Yeah. Because we'll be eating and somebody will scream.

And then everybody else will be busting and lay out laughing. Y'all always sit the guest by her just so that way she'll. Hey, don't know. Well, you bring you a new blood for her. Yeah. And you just watch. You ain't ever got this one before. Sit back and watch.

Everybody's trying to just eating real just because they're waiting for the screen. So I wish you that mean? Oh, no. Look, the hell's in the hobbs. Okay. My, uh, Cissor Toes and a beer. FM,

hail, daughters, okay, Lulu and, uh, God, I can't, Eith.

Lulu, Edith, there's, I think there was another one. But anyway, these are such better names and like, Hey,

look, they run me down, took all my clothes off. We need to, and rub me down with hot pepper fresh pull from the garden. good grief so how old were you

hey you're talking about little mean bees yeah they were oh like in the day we called those biddies look we would go swimming hang our clothes on the limbs and the next thing we do we turn around them three have grabbed all our clothes and left

were you naked yeah yeah we're skinny dipping so hey guess what the next thing you see is you three see three gay guys running through the woods naked going home to get some clothes. How bad side naked at 120 pounds was a funny thing to see running through the woods. Oh, no, no, no.

Hey. It'd be a little like a freaking demigorgon. One big foot. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Look. Oh, no. No. No. You ain't. You know, you don't understand. They would do it and then tell the whole neighborhood. Okay, so everybody's waiting and watching for us to run through the woods but naked.

Oh. Oh, they over there, you know, waving the clothes. Did you ever spend any time in an upside down? Upside down. His whole life's enough. Upside down. I was got to watch stranger things, that. That joke would make a lot more sense to you once you want that show.

Hey, look, when they would have, you know, we live on a hill. Oh, man. The Hobbs is live down below as the bottom of the hill. Well, every Friday night and Saturday, the Hobbs is invited people come over to play Dominole. Yep, yep. Well, Jimmy Frank, my oldest brother. One way?

We call him the warden. Because Mama and Daddy would say, okay, we're going down to play Domino's, okay? you're in charge, take care of the kids. So they left y'all up on top of the hill. Yeah, so we're in the log cabin, okay. And Jimmy Frank was like a Nazi guard. No escape. No, no, yeah.

He's walking around like he's on patrol, you know. So look, we had, you know, the cabin had two windows. One who wants to have one on the other side. So we'll time it. I mean, okay, when you see him come around the corner on your window, we're going out the other one. So we would eventually all end up down as to Hobbsys, okay, with, you know, with Afram's bunch, hail, okay.

The main sisters. They had come down. Jimmy Frank wasn't a very good warden. Well, he never could keep this wild. He got outsmarted. Yeah, he could keep a man. Yeah. And he were naked this all the time.

Well, no, no. Well, Phil used to say I didn't wear clothes until I was 14. I got more question about the hot pepper all over your body. How'd that feel? I got more questions. Does that hurt? Like, it was like, it was like halapeno peppers rubbed all over you? This is not bright enough.

For how red your skin was? Look at, look at his hat, Johnny D's hat. It was that, I looked like that. Okay. That's a pretty good thing. Where they rubbed it all over you. Oh, no, and hey, they didn't miss a spot. Even on your.

Oh, yeah. On my private, in the crack everywhere. Not the crack. Oh, no. Hey, I'm talking about, look. I'm not to crack, George. No. Oh, Mama got, oh,

Mama was, that's probably the maddest I've ever seen my mother. Dang, Cy, that's rough, buddy. Oh, rough. How do you? Hey, I was on fire. I bet. What'd you do, jump in a tub or pond or? Like vinegar coated or something?

Is that one of things like? Well, Mama put me in the tub in cold water, and I think she did pour like two gallons of vinegar. Yeah. Because back in them days, we canned everything. Yeah. So we had plenty of them. Dang.

And it did, it did stop the burning. Mm. But I mean, my eyes, okay, I'm lucky to be where I can see. So how'd you come out of that family being normal? Oh. You just got. Right. So, come on to me.

Size is pretty normal. Normal. How'd you make it out? Hey, look, it was tough growing up. He talks to his stuff. No, no, look, it was tough growing up. Look, if you went outside of the house, it was no telling what was going to hit you.

You might get run over by a wagon. Y'all thought it like cow craft at each other? Oh, did we? Yeah. And look, the best one was, I think it was what. I can't remember if it was one. The older ones are Tommy. I think it was Tommy.

One way. Tommy found. A cow patty, okay, about that size that bongo drum. About that's six, eight inches around? Yeah, around. Perfect for put on your hand. Yeah. Okay.

The top of it, okay, is sunbreak. Oh, crusty. So it's crusty. But not the middle. But hey, when you turn it over, it's soft. And look, he's standing behind the oak tree. I know, hick of a tree in the yard. Well, hey.

one of them either harold i think it was harold comes walking by and this the hole just pie in the face just in this the runny side well yeah you don't want to hold it you'll get crap on your hand yeah yeah we used to have calpatti wars yeah nope okay yeah we did all that we threw them with everybody we used to like i said uh look i walked out ours were dry as a chip if you if you picked up the wet one you couldn't sling it so yo i'm out hey i walked outside one day and hey next time i know i'm i'm knocked out

okay now who did it is one of these three sisters he did it with a hickinut green hickinut just wopopop don't pop mama wakes me up talking about you all right and i said what happened i said i walked outside next time i know i'm looking at you

you don't light out Yeah. A cold water A cannon. That's crazy. And I had a knot on my head that big around on his back where he hit me. Man, y'all lost, no, no, Harold lost two teeth. Same thing.

You know where to send him. He was standing, look, he was standing behind the oak tree, okay. Somebody slung, it hit the tree, and he stepped out and busted two front teeth out. Thanks, I. You stay, hey, look, BB guns. I'm glad I know y'all and y'all's gentle years.

Oh, no, no. Hey, they're still pretty rough. Look, they made Jimmy Frank, look, Jimmy Frank made all the kids in the neighborhood play football. What? He's the oldest? Oh, yeah.

And he was mean. You don't understand. Homs and Robertsons, y'all? Y'all just fought all the time? Hey, they were mean. There's a mean street. Didn't one of them back you in? Where y'all wanted a lost mask?

How's that film? Were y'all like the local militia? Huh? Were y'all like the local militia? Like in the Patriot? Don't, don't. Hey, the mean kids, you know, that they went and got from down there in the swamps.

I grew up next door to Sadie. Hey. We went and got snow cones. PlayStation. Nobody got hurt. Oh, y'all didn't hear the one about, you know, until this day, when we'd get together for a family reunion. the discussion was, okay, here's the question.

What was the wagon loaded with? What wagons are? The wagon that Jimmy Frank feels playing in the sand in the front yard. Jimmy Frank has been out chopping wood and loading the wagon with wood for fire. How big of a wagon? A regular what, whatever that size of a wagon? Like a horse and wagon? Yeah, like a four by eight.

like a radio flyer. Like a covered wagon on a stove. Jimmy Frank got Dan tied to the wagon. Booner. Okay. Loaded with, it was either loaded with pine straw for the garden. Yeah.

We had, Danny always had a big garden of, uh, or it was firewood. Uh-huh. Everybody, you know, Jimi Frank said it was firewood.

But anyway, Phil is like four years old. Okay, playing in the sand. Jimmy Frank comes up and he's playing in the sand. And Jimmy Frank says, get out of way, boy. The Phil says, go around. Yeah, that's a bit of him. Hey, the wagon loaded with wood went across his belly.

Front wagon, front wagon, back wagon. No, Jim Frank goes and goes, and goes to go ahead, Texas, and unloads it. That's a house, you know. Dang. Now I can see why Phil was a hard man. No, no, no. Phil, no. Phil could do his belly and he could look like a pregnant woman. It would blow out just like a pregnant woman.

I do that too, but nobody would have run over me. I used to look like that. Was everybody running over? I got this from Johnny Street. Ran over it? Yeah. Dang. With a wagon loaded with wood.

The main thing is my cousin never did. Hey, somebody I don't know who comes up with Pine straw. Because that's baldface lie. It wasn't pine straw. It was wood Why y'all hate each other? Hey My sister and cousin used to give me that way

I'm telling you I mean I fought with my brothers But nothing that bad If the hump just didn't get you The hell's would And if the hell didn't You know They'd pull a pistol

They'd pull a pistol on you Yeah Me and my brother fought But I was clumsy enough Give me enough time I'd hurt myself You didn't have to hurt me That's wild bro

I'd break a leg Yeah we had a little bit of fighting But yeah Running over with wagon and rubbing hot peppers all over you. I was way too little to fight my cousins because I was like by far the youngest. So I was pretty well protected. Yeah. But I did get a lot of bat wedgies, which is where they pick you up by their underwear

and then sing the Batman theme song. It stinks. But being the loving person I really am. How'd you do that? I don't know. Well, your mama, you were her favorite, you told me. The youngest. I was your youngest.

The youngest boy. There we go. yeah that's the most important we're always the fun oh we got anything in the inbox voicemail we need to get two before we get out of here hunter hunter anything three one eight two oh no 215 six five five nine there we go three one eight two one five six five five nine or hello at dot call room dot com have you had experiences like i have me no send them oh yeah no you're a Netflix documentary waiting to happen. Once again, I just grew up next door to Sadie and John Lou.

They had a date. Yeah. Oh, we didn't have one back in. What you got, honey? Honor. We got one. Let's listen to one. We'll get out of here.

Hey, guys. That's Michael Keene from playing youth, Texas. My question is, if y'all were truck drivers, what would your C.B. handle be? And if you don't know what a C.B. is, it's what truck drivers back in the day used to talk to other drivers. It's so communication radio, broadband, something like that. But, yeah, anyway, love the podcast.

Oh, and Uncle Sy, I want to meet you before I go blind. Love you all guys. Catch you later. Are you going blind? Like a very interesting turn. Maybe he is. Well, praying for you. Hunter, you didn't get to the end of that one, did you?

It didn't say, well, hey, well, if you are. Michael. Michael Keaton, Michael King. I think I got called. King. Michael Keene. Martin, Bolton, Heiston, Keaton.

Yeah, from Texas. Well, slide on over if you're going on live, bro. Yeah, come. And send us an email that tells us more about that. Well, I wonder if it's like that. Mine would be the gunslinger. Michael, let us know. Michael, check back in, man, 318, 21, 25, 6559.

CB handles. Do CB handles have numbers? They can, I'm sure. Well, now that I was food around at the house. Yeah. And I got every pistol I got, which I got a bunch of, Yeah. And I found all kinds of hostages to put them in.

I remember this picture. Yeah. You just playing dress up? I was just in a goofy mood. I walked in there as Christine and she said something. I said, hey, you better retract that. I'll have to kill you. I hate to pistol whippy, you gypsy.

That's right. You heifer. All right, Johnny Dee. The gun slinger. Mine would also be the same as my wrestling name. Uh-oh. Of the ozone. Oh, yeah.

Ozone. What is that? The ozone layer, son. The ozone layer? I will brew in or protect the whole earth. I haven't decided which. Breaker 1-9 to the ozone. But it is all up to me.

It is my choice. Gunslinger. Go ain't gunslinger. The ozone layer, baby. They have to be the Philly Mac. The Philly Mac. The Philly Mac. That's a sandwich.

Give me that Philly Mac and cheese. Philly Mac. Philly Mac million. Breaker Breaker 1-2. This is ozone to Philly Mac. Philly Mac, yeah, come on now. We're going to head on down to the golden crown. We're doing 98.

Going to crash the gate. Going 98? They let them truckers roll. They let them try the Bears in the air. I mean, it's hard for me to come up with a new name. Jay Mark. I mean, is it, yeah, I mean. Nah, that place stinks now.

Well, I know, but that's kind of. You got that joke. Yeah. Jay Mark. 1-1. This is horse head. Come on. I mean, horse sling.

It would be a good one. Horse head. Horse head's probably the best one. Thank you. Thank you, G.L. Morris from McCrory, Arkansas. Horset. I did FaceTime Gobb on opening day duck season because he was there.

And I said, I want to see Mr. G.L. And he took me over there, Mr. G.L. sitting in his chair. You know, he's 90-something now. And G. And G. He looked at me. He said, well, horse head.

He said, I saw your kids. Looks like you have a little horse head, too. This 90-year-old man still throwing shade at me And I love Mr. Jerry Morris, by the way He is one of the just a gem of a human But yeah, sorry Jackson, you are horse head in fact It happens It is what it is

You get it from your parents Yeah, so yeah horse head, that is a good one I didn't even think about horse head ozone Philly Mac and the Gunslinger Yeah, Millie Mac and cheese Philly Mac and cheese Well the deal You had a CB.

Oh, yeah. Was it Philly Mac? No. It was left over Philly Mac. Yeah, something way different. Yeah. What was it? B.C.

Something before Christ. What was it? What was it? This is when I was 19. What was it? Yeah, before Christ. What was it? We used to use them all time.

Old Toby Red. You remember Toby Red? We're changing the subject. No. No, he's dodging this one. Can't do it? He treated this one like a ram. Now.

Yeah. Toby Red. All right. Let's get out of it. All right. Well, sometimes I do just go with the verse of the day. And I always just look it up just in case. Sa, the verse of December 11, 2025 is John 317, which is your favorite Bible verse. So why don't you hit them with it?

17. Look, Jesus, he said, hey, I didn't come to. Condem. Judge you or condemn you. I came to save you. There it is. John 3. He did not send his son in the world to condemn the world,

but to save the world through him. Boom. Bain. Merry Christmas, y'all. Man, that goes to what we're starting early on life. Life. An abundant life. We'll see y'all next time right here in the duck car room.

We're out. I'm going back.