Duck Call Room - Uncle Si’s Five-Finger Discount at the Strawberry Farm

Episode Date: May 18, 2023

Si is back from Texas where he tried the brisket that John-David and Willie had been raving about ... but he declares it "edible" and won't give John-David the satisfaction he wants. The boys are surprised when they find out that Si and Christine love going to Olive Garden and Martin talks about how hard it is to get into any new restaurant in West Monroe. Godwin and John-David are excited for an adorable fan's Buc-ee's themed birthday party. Si challenges us all to get "united" back in the United States! John-David shows some interesting taxidermy and Si shocks the room with a story of his favorite dog memory which immediately takes a left turn and the boys try to lighten the mood with their favorite dog stories instead. And did Si and Phil's childhood dog ACTUALLY know how to talk? Because that's what Si's mama claimed. -- Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, well, then I'm going to tell them what I... Let me go over and give you a summary of what I, me and Philip and a couple of friends about it. Time out. Time out. Welcome back to the duck call room. You can't just start talking. I'm nervous, though. We've got to put our W sauce out.

We've got to do all kinds of things, man. Quit trying to rush me. Okay. But I'm nervous because last time we were all here together, I said some crazy stuff about... Yeah, you are to be. Barbecue versus Stone's Barbecue, and now he's had it. So now, we, me, Philip, and two of my friends with Salon View, Texas. Yep.

Okay, I was going to be speaking me and Philip at a church over there for the bunch of men. This is to catch the album. The AD was bold in his claim. Okay, so I got a little disclaimer to Benfitt. First, you and Willie overreacted, but I can understand why. Because you was probably, it's probably the same thing happened to y'all to you that happened to me. Okay. It was edible, but it wasn't the best I've ever had.

Oh, here we got. No, let me tell you why. Edible? Yeah. Edible. Edible. That's your, that's your statement. Hold, let me tell the rest of the story.

But. Okay, so we get there and we show up at 6 o'clock. I don't know why they had me stir up so early since I didn't go on till 9. I gave you three hours to eat Bresket, buddy. So I never do. I'd have walked out on that stage with a meat sweat. You hear me? No, no, no, because I couldn't, oh, I wouldn't be able to speak.

I may, yeah, you'd have rolled me out there. No, no, because that's what happened to everybody else. I guarantee you. Oh, and they said, well, you want, you on a plate? Because it was edible. I don't ever like to, you know, speak on the full stomach. I said, so I'll wait. So look.

You eat cold brisket. Yeah. We go out there. I go out there at 9 o'clock. We, me and Phillips speak about, all till 10, 15. Okay, then I sit for about 45 minutes, signing autographs and taking pictures. She's up till 11?

Oh, yeah. So we get back to the room at 11, okay. I've got four or five big containers with the surround, not the surround, but the 10-4, 10-4? Yeah. So we get back to the room and it's four of them. Okay. So look, the first thing I do is open one.

Okay, and there's about, oh, eight racks of ribs. Praise God. Okay. Okay. Then I open another one, and it's full of... It's full of brisket. Can I sign up? Okay, so it's full of brisket, so we pick out.

Mm-hmm. Okay, so look. On cold brisket. Oh, no, no, no, no. It was still warm. Matter of fact, the ribs were hot. It's amazing. No, yeah, the ribs were hot.

So this man keep his brisket warm for you until 11 p.m. You're going to say edible? Oh, well, hey, it was. Oh, no. So look, we pick out. I get in bed about 12. He pigs out. Uh-huh.

Okay. So look. Record show. Need a Xan tax size of a hockey puck. This was a horrible night of sleep because I'm just, I ate too much. Okay. Uh-huh. So I fought these ribs and brisket all night long.

And I get about eight, maybe 7.30. And I said, well, I'm so miserable. I said, I don't know but one thing to do. Give me some more of it. Hey, get back on them. Yeah. So, look, Philip comes in about an hour later, y'all, and he said, is there anything left?

In the refrigerator, I said, yeah, there's some ribs in brisket back there. So he opens up and starts going through it and there's two big boxes. And he said, hold it. He said, where's all the ribs? I said, they're in the box? he opened it up he said no it ain't number 75 bones in this stupid box what you're talking about you ate and I said I'll hold it hold it no that's no there's got to be something ribbed in there he said no then he opened one that's

supposed to have briskey and he said and I said well hey this hotel must have rat through mice is all I take they can open a refrigerator door yeah well hey that's the only time it ate it it was edible and he ate it all right that's right so It was good. It was edible. But it wasn't the best I've ever had. Phillips said it was. Quit short-selling yourself because Macmillan don't text at us and gave it a 10 out of 10.

Now the problem with Philips... And you ate eight racks. Yeah. But it was edible. Well, I don't know. I mean, what happened? And you ate it for breakfast. Hey, because it was a big bunch of ribs.

If you eating smoked meat for breakfast, it don't come in a taco form, it was more than edible. Yeah. It was edible. Give the man credit. Johnny Dee. You can tell Johnny Dee's, right? It's his birthday for Kyle. Hey, you really overreacted, okay?

It was good, but I mean, it wasn't that good. Was there any dessert? Was it? No. I could not. I'm just telling you right now, if I'm eating biscuit for breakfast, it was good. He's calling it edible, and he ate eight pounds of beef. It won't even give you the satisfaction on your birthday to say you were right.

He won't let me know I was right. And, hey, and I spent a night, and the other. The next day. Sweating it out. Yeah. The ride from Longville all the way to home was horrible too. That's what it is. It's not that he didn't, he's downgrading it on his mistakes.

I paid for it, boys, I paid for it. Yeah. That's what happens when you were glutton. Yeah. He could have brought some here. Well, that's why, hey, that's why pigs get, you know, and then hogs get slaughtered. Yeah, pigs get fat, hogs get slaughtered. Yeah, pigs get fat, hogs get slaughtered.

I will say. We did have somebody email in and rebuke me. It's in Gilgore. It's his favorite restaurant. Austin emails in. He even had his rehearsal dinner there, which is big time. Then he said, get aside of brisket. The ribs are where it's at.

And I think, you know, eight racks of edible ribs proves that. Well, they was edible. He won't give me the same. Hey, that's plain to see. They were edible. There was no left. Okay. He didn't.

Hey. Just when I think you different in all them Robertsons, you come back and show you just you are one of them, buddy. Let's be fair. It kept them private. Yeah. If it wasn't absolutely outstanding, here to go, no, it ain't much. That ain't much.

No, yes, I say something's edible. It was really, really good. Well, that was, hey, it was passable. That's what I'm saying. Well, put you mic up to your face. That way we can hear you. It was passable, boy. It was passable.

You've lost your mind. Oh. Well, I thought he was finally going to give me my... No, never. Never. You ain't getting what you do, son. Never. Never. Never going to get it.

Uh-uh. Not out of us. It's genetic. There's just some things you can't get past, man. You don't get past it, boy. There's just some things you can't get past. Unbelievable. Unreal.

Tea break. Yeah, did a little tea break. Look, we got a few minutes to the end of the first break. How was Mother's Day received? everybody, everybody, you took care of the moms in your lives, did good. Look, I saw what y'all did. Boy, was, whew. Mine was bad.

I cooked 65 fillets. Mingnons? No. Yes, but from the water. Crappies. I saw the pictures. How did you cook them? Half of them I cook with sour cream.

And the other half I cook with muskine. Hey, there's a man that cooked forever back. I took the mustard. No, it was more than 60. Anyway, I took mustard and put on my fillets, but what I added to my flour was I got me a rolling pin and put me some cool ranch Doritos in a zip-block bag and just crunched them suckers up fine.

If we ain't careful, we're going to get labeled as a food. And put it into the, put it into the flour and then I put my mustard on. I put salt, pepper, and garlic on my flays, mixed them up. Then I put my flour on there mixed it all up. I'm sorry, you're just

making me happy. I got touch you on the shoulder. 375. Next time you do that, put the German hot mustard on. I'm thinking about putting some of that gray poop on there and seeing what it tastes like. I'm sure it was edible. Because you can't taste

mustard but it is a little bit tangier than the sour cream. I eat 75% of his meals out of a can and he's going to tell y'all how to cook. Well, no, no, I'm just saying. No, no, I'm just saying. Hey, I need to get somebody to put the German hot mustard on it. Oh, well, that's fine. That's just spicy brown? I mean, is that what's a German mustard is, spicy brown mustard?

How hot is. I don't want it. It won't burn you. It's just got a good spice. spicy in a little heat flame. That would be interesting. I noticed one thing about Godwin, I'd like to call what I noticed on social,

Godwin's gathering, is there were a bunch of foil pans sitting there with paper towels. Mm-hmm. They soaked up the grease, they did their job, but there wasn't nothing in them in them pictures. Like, it's gone.

Late picture. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, the crew you fed. We had. She said, Paula got up there and she said, everybody that has a mother here, the daughters had to wait on the mommas. Yeah, that's pretty cool. And so nobody could eat. I hate to eat last, which I kind of like that because I just get what's left.

Yeah. But everybody had a chance, didn't they? Yep. They had their chance. So too bad for you, but it was good. Good, yeah. I think, but side by side. I've never done that.

And side by side, I think I'm... I'm laying in towards the mustard. But who won the race? Which one was empty first? I think the mustard was. But it was first. But there wasn't a nice guy. But there wasn't none left.

No. Look. There was one of them pint-sized zip-block bags. Brooke took that home. Okay. That's all it was left. Did you make French fries? Oh, yeah.

I saw them. And onion ring. You know those weren't originally cooked in France? I know if they cooked in grease. Got him. Jack wanted me to read that and see it work. I did. I did note something.

They had desserts, sir, and they had some that I could eat, whatever it was. I don't know. It was anyway. You know how you eat, you drinking sweet tea, and you eat something sweet, it tastes unsweet. So I got me a nighty, because I drink unsweet tea, I said, I'm going to eat something sweet, and it's going to make

my tea sweet. No. It's going to work. That worked. Well, don't that seem... I mean, it's like that light bulb in the refrigerator. Never goes out. Ever goes out, boy. There you go. It's on every time I open the door. Let's take our first

food break of the day. We'll be back right after this. All right, look, springtime is here. It's warming up. You know what that means that means more outside cook and and y'all know we love to eat beef around here and that's what because of our friends over at tritels beef makes such a good product baby ain't it good it's so good our friend sall robertson would say buy on the grill look before we got tritels getting ready for a cookout man somebody had to run the grocery store do all the things grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day and you never really know where that beef come to them but with

Triedails beef, we skip the grocery store and do it a different way. Triedales comes from a family ranch out in Texas. They're a fifth generation American ranch, so they've been at it for a while. Now, look, the beef comes straight from their ranch and other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way. Their steaks are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door. We threw a couple of ribbys on the grill. Look, salt, pepper, garlic, hot fire, that's all you need. Look, because I'll tell you what, when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living,

you can taste the difference. The tenderness and the flavor are fantastic. So if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season, go check out Tritails Beef. I know in size case, Christine loves it, which is just a, she doesn't eat meat. She isn't a big meat eater, folks. Yeah.

Just go to trybeef.com slash. That's trybeef.com slash support ranch families and eat some dang good steak. So my sister's out of town, which she's a mom. She went to visit her. mom. Swin mom, yeah. Absolutely.

But she went to visit her husband's family up in Nashville. But my dad, so my dad asked my mom and Allison what they wanted to eat. And so we had filet mignon, boiled shrimp, fried shrimp. And then we only did the, you know, we're cornmeal folk over at our house. So we had some cropper. Oh, that's a sacrily. And it was so good. And I hurt myself.

But then my sister wasn't there. And she texted me. She said, are y'all eating together? And I said, yeah. And I sent her a picture. of just steaks and shrimp and all the things. My dad makes best fried shrimp on planet, maybe. And she got mad, she said,

that's not nice, because she was at Olive Garden in Tennessee. There's three key letters in Olive Garden, G-A-R, G-A-R. Gar. It's a gar. It's a gar. It's just not very good. I'm not a, I'm not a few. Yeah, he ain't an olive garden.

So I would call it edible. Yes, I would say it's edible. They make decent meatballs. Like me. You like their meatballs? Yeah. I like them bread. It's a spicy meatball.

When is the last time you've eaten an olive garden? When? Day four yesterday. No, that was probably 20 days ago. You went? I would have lost how ever. My wife. My wife loves Olive Garden.

Does she? Yeah. For the breadsticks and salad? Yeah. Learn something new today. And the meatballs. Do you want to meet salad? I go to Olive Garden.

I noticed something about women in that age class. They love going there for breadsticks and salad. Last time I'm- And meatballs, because, hey, I heard about four. And then what I ate, I don't eat was spaghetti. My wife makes me meatball sandwiches. Oh, okay. I'm into that.

Yeah. With the bread. Like you do, meatloaf. Mm-hmm. I like, you know, whenever we cook, Kay cooks meatloaf, yeah. I just get me two slices of bread. Yeah.

Put you a little piece of provolone cheese on there and after. It is. Last time I was at Olive Garden, I went to sit down, I pulled my chair out, and then I went to sit down and my wife thought that was her chair, and she pulled it out, and I was laying on the floor in the middle of the olive. You sat down all right on the floor. There you go. It was very embarrassing.

But then we went and picked strawberries yesterday. Strawberries, where are at? At the strawberry farm? Mm-hmm. Okay. Where's that at? It's out in Calhoun. Yeah.

Calhoun. Oh, the Indian. Indian. Indian Creek or whatever. Indian Village. Yeah. You didn't eat it on while you was picking them, right? I ate something this morning.

You got to wash them. I'm talking why you're picking them. No, you got to pay for them first. Hey, no. You always eat them when you're picking. What is it? But they weigh the bucket. Yeah, they wear.

You got bucket sizes. Well, I said, I should tell them, hey, you better weigh me before we start. Okay, and they'll weigh me after them doing. Got a toy. Because I'm going to be grazing while we're out there picking, boys. I have a low-key thief, man but he's at the age where people don't care. You mean to tell me that if you go out to a farm and pick something like strawberries,

you don't eat some? Not until you pay for you? I don't believe it. I tend to pay before I consume it. I'm not the person that walks in the section of fruit and eat too great. Do you do that at the grocery store? Yeah. You just go take a bite out of an onion, make sure you want it.

I'll pay for it at the grocery store. I'll pay for it at the grocery store. But if it's small business, if it's mom and pop out there sweating. Oh, hey. Paying for their own fertilizer. Struggling to make a living. Yeah. Shoveling chicken crap to keep everything growing good.

No, we'll eat that first. Pinching as many pennies as they can. Terrible, man. They're doing pretty good, I think. But they're doing it all right. Well, because they got this homemade ice cream, strawberry from their strawberries. Yeah. Did you dough pop up?

There's labing. I might go back right now. I've sat here and tried to figure out. I never realized. that Mother's Day was like a fried fish holiday for Louisiana. But that's what we had, too. We all fried fish. If you fry fish, it don't matter if it's Mother's Day or not.

You invite five people. 10's going to show up. Five things are going to show up. How's that happening? Just like that school of fish out there on the river. It all started at five, but they just keep growing. That's what I had to do. One of my plate got empty.

I had to go catch me some more out of that pan. Were they biting? Yeah. Found a school of it. Found the school of it. It was all in one place on that napkin. That is wild. You know, because you have certain foods for certain holidays,

and I just realized three of the four of us had fried fish for Mother's Day. That's a fried fish season. Well, let's be honest, for a lot of us guys, that's the easiest thing we can cook to feed a crowd. That's what Ms. Paula wanted on Mother's. Yeah, and that, too. That's fantastic. That was mainly for the kids at our house because we were doing a fried shrimp and steaks.

Well, all the... But I ate some of that, too. Brittany and all of our friends that we celebrated Mother's Day with, all the women informed us that they wanted to be treated as though they had no arms or legs, which basically meant keep them kids away from us. We want a day. I love it. Fried fish was on the menu, which was kind of cool as we had to go catch some fish.

I know my freezer's empty now. Yeah. And so it wasn't a bad. It was a good day. No, it ain't. Well. As far as the general public is concerned, it's empty. The guy one always got a little stash.

I got a little six package in there. A little package of six for me and Paul. Yeah. He liked me. You look at me, I'll pull out a package of them green winged till in about July. It's the one that I sat off to the side. Oh, yeah. I got some of them too.

Yeah, a couple of back straps. You never know what you find in there in the corners. You're like, oh, where'd this come from? Yeah, and that brown sat. Kind of like Willie used to stuff a 20 behind picture frames. I ain't got that much spare cash, but I do have wild game I can hide for myself. in the freezer and find in June, July. I like that.

Have a good meal that you ain't had in a hot minute. I like fish. I know this. It's finally hot around here. Golly. I know. Going to get 90 degrees today. Summer does showed up around this point.

All of a sudden. It was pretty hot. We had that big festival this weekend too. How was that? Was that good? It was good. Now, it was super hot and then the bottom dropped out. What's eating tonight for your birthday?

homemade pizzas hamburgers french fries and ice cream oh what kind of we're going to that new place you know how westmanroe acts when we get a new restaurant and everybody fights to get in even though it's just the fast food place is it calm down now i don't know but i'm got it's my birthday i people get out my way oh i'm getting ice cream and hamburgers today dead gum it oh well let's take another break we'll be back right another that is the thing with westmore though you get any new restaurant with a drive-thru police have to wave people in. Yeah, it's wild, man. We have a certain deal in this town of really liking substandard fast food a lot.

Do you remember when... And I'm not saying Freddie's substandard. I've never had it. But when that dairy queen opened, look. When dairy queen opened, they had to sell everything other than the Blizzard machine anyway. We had a dairy queen for 20 years, maybe 15 years. Yeah. Around the corner.

That you could get like nachos and hot dogs that. It was a cool thing. and then this newfangled Dairy Queen shows up. The only OG thing, they got, so blizzard. That Dairy Queen shut down. Yeah. For about five years. Yeah.

Sad. Eight, nine, somewhere in there. I love to watch me. They open up a new Dairy Queen around the corner. There are police directing traffic. Yeah, now. Get into the drive. Now it's so bad.

There's a pothole where people have been turning in from the other. I mean, like, it's still, you got to swing wide at the Dairy Queen. And they ain't got a turning lane. Like, you end up over there driving basically halfway on a Burger King Park lot, which is fine because it's empty. This town loves a new restaurant. For sure, unless it's local. Then they're like, I don't know about that, man.

It's a little pricey. Now we're taking shots of the people. No, I'm just saying, like, they'll give any chain a chance, but a lot of time a man go out on limb and, like, open his own restaurant, they're like, I don't know about that, man. It's just kind of aggravating. I'm a big believer in sporting local. Oh, absolutely.

Well, you are local. You are the epitome of local business with the honeyhole. So, no, it's a, but, you know, we try to get out and support the little people that open up things. I think it's kind of cool when people chase their dreams. Now, a lot of time, they get in over their head because small business, a lot of hard work. But, you know, it is what it is to that regard. It's wild out there. It is.

But look, hey, I got something that doesn't come from a small business from a fan of ours. What? Is it edible? Let me show you the bag. Oh. Oh, fuckies. I've been hiding this over here just for y'all. I didn't know what it was.

I saw it. I've been hiding this. So a fan dropped this off at the store for us. I'm going to read her note. Raider note. This is from Linda and David out of Wesley Chapel, Florida. It said, Duck Call Room, we listen to your podcast. Thanks for all the laughs.

We came to Westman Road to visit Watchfairy Road Church. Awesome. Because we love watching online and we're baptized by Phil yesterday. Awesome. That's cool. How cool is that? So yesterday on May 14th, Phil baptized these folks, On our way from Florida, we passed by the Buckees and knew that you loved their beef jerky's.

So we brought you an assortment of Bucke's beef jersey. Let's have it. Linda and David. Thank you. We love you. Thank you so much. And welcome to the Forever family. Yeah.

I thought you're going to say West Monroe. No. They dropped this on the way out of town. Oh, yeah. We got a steakhouse beef jerky. Is the turkey strips in there? I don't know. I have not looked.

I just, I literally just had the note. So, it's hot and spruce. spicy. Yep. Not for me. Mosquite peppered. That one's really good. That was a big one.

Okay. I know all these. I'm a fan. Pepperd's good. Hill country peppered. Good. There's not a bad one. Oh, no, these are mine, bro.

Y'all have that. What is that? Milk chocolate almonds. Ooh. Nah, y'all have all the beef turkey. I can't have milk. I saw them almonds this direction. Overruled.

You're going to, Open them? Uncle Si. I really got to share my omens with you? Yeah, you got to share them. Give me one of them. Which one you want? I'm not a beef jerky, man. But I am.

Godwin, look. Which one's the best? It's your day you pick, buddy. Actually, it's Johnny Deas David. Sorry, you're sitting here. Well, you tell me that red one, sir. Hot and spicy? Yes, sir.

You know me all too well. What's the second best? I couldn't do that again. Mesquite pepper's really good. Yeah. The skeet pepper is. It will be good. Si, what do you want?

I want to almonds. We're going to have to work on the almonds because we're going to divvy them up. Well, hey. Here we go. We'll open them up. Anyways. Have you a handful and then have them over here than me get them.

That's cool. That's cool that they drove through and gave us there. My hands are bigger than yours. That's true, too. You got small hands. That's so good. I'm going to slide these because they could tear something like that. I'm going to Bucky soon, by the way.

There you go. I didn't want to hit nothing over there and tear it up with the weight of them almonds. Oh, this is so good. Oh, the whole room smells like jerky. It's a good thing that you. you YouTube people and people listening don't have smell because you'd be pulling over to get you some beef jerky right up now.

Is that not one of the weirdest parts of beef jerky? It doesn't smell good. It really doesn't overall. Unless you're eating it. Yeah, because right now I'm not eating anything and I'm like, man, that's... Then it smells delicious. That's stout.

Ain't much, are they said. I wonder how long they hung this. Long enough. Oh, these are real good. I know they're good. That's why. When I got to them, I was like, no, this's for me.

but anyway Linda and David thank you so much look that's cool that's cool that y'all made the trip all the way up here and then got baptized by Phil are you ready for this though what's that I mean we're on it y'all we're getting way ahead out of emails but I got email today

and it's one of my favorite emails we've ever got really river it's two years old oh River had a birthday party River is my hero River. Here she is.

She's two years old, had Bucky's plates, Bucky's banners, Bucking's birthday cake. How cool is that? Her grandma sent me this. If I can be fair, I was not expecting a female river.

That's awesome. She apparently watches her guy, watches you guys with her memo. They always say, old man, River. And she asks what could be cuter up on the screen, and I got to be honest with you, a two-year-old Bucky's birthday party

is kind of at the top. Kind of neat. Speaking of things that have happened bizarrely, do you still have that picture I texted you from, like, Friday, from the fan that sent me the message on Instagram? Oh, yeah. Of the weird places our T-shirts show up, our fans, wait until you see this one, Sire.

You're going to like this. All time. You are going to really get a good chuckle out of this one, old buddy. We texted a lot on Saturday. Oh, yeah, we did. What day was Friday? the day before Saturday. That's true.

Other day. There you are calling me a trespasser. There's a picture. Oh, here it is. Oh, that's gone. Si, you made the news. I made the news. So for those of you that can't see,

our fan Kim sent me a message on Instagram that said, Uncle Sai really needs to talk to this guy because he's getting arrested for a DUI. And he's wearing a shirt that says, says, SIE is my role model. So, Sye, what do you think when somebody's wearing a shirt that says you're their role model and they're getting arrested for a DWI or DUI, whatever you're at?

You need to give up the bottle there, my man. Our fan Kim from Flowery Branch, Georgia. Well. That's like the first time I was watching Tiger King and the Duck Commander logo showed up. And Joe Exotic's little pet ranch out there, whatever you want to call it. That was a tiger ranch. There you go. Whatever you want to call.

Sanctuary. I don't think it was. Sanctuary area. We're just all eating now. Yeah, that's fine. I thought that somebody, I thought that side may actually talk a little longer on the guy, but he can't quit eating the almonds.

So we have created a monster there. We have shut him up. But what's, okay, so we know where Duck Commander shirt. What's the weirdest place Honeyhole merch has showed up? I know you've posted a couple. I've seen a hat up there. at the when Victor had us up there for that deal in Minnesota. Yep, yep.

Oh, no, can't tell that story. Not without you wearing it, of course, not. I don't know if there's been any weird. One time when me and Willie were in Haiti, there was a guy wearing a Duck Commander shirt walking down the street. But Honeyhole's been like at the Masters and stuff. People sent y'all pictures. Oh, yeah, John Daly's buddy was in the Tampa Bay Buccane.

Sweet wearing a honeyhole hat. There you go. That would probably be, though, like, whoa, we were just on national TV. Oh, and then when that dude was on Tucker Carlson getting interviewed about the weights and fish. You have to say it like that. If you ever have a weight in a fish, you got to say, there's whites and fish. Because that video's sad and hysterical.

I think those dudes went to jail anyway. And see, look, now you can't even go find that because Tucker's gone. Let's take another break. everybody can wash their mouth out and we'll be back right after this. We should have a size birthday again. I know. I would rather it be size birthday than my birthday. How old are you?

34. That's kind of a guard. 34. Next year, at least, you get to celebrate being closer to 40 than 30. So 34 is just kind of whatever. Yeah. That's whatever. It's a low-key one.

Yeah, for sure. What did your kids get you? I don't know yet. I guess I'm going to get something like. Maybe nothing. Wait until you get home. What did they end up getting Allison for Mother's Day? You always said you do the, you order, you ask them.

What would you order from Amazon and have Prime delivered this year? No, Carter went with a dress. Just a dress? Eight-year-olds picking out dresses for mom, man. She liked it. Here's a, look. In public or in private? No, she said she's going to wear it.

Oh, okay. Here's a tip for men everywhere. It wasn't a race car dress then. No, it was. If you ever want to buy your wife something and just surprise the mess out of her, you get her, go to Amazon, type in dress with pockets. Pick her size, like 30,000 people bought it so you know it they like it. Boom.

And she liked it. Lottie got her the most ridiculous sandals you've ever seen. She's going to be like two inches taller, but they're for like the pool. And they're like big clouds. and then Ben's got her Ben said he wanted to get her a mug that says, I heart you on it,

but I said we have eight of those. We got to change it up. And he got her some highlighters and some post-it notes, and then tape. He's really into tape. So he went like teacher appreciation week on it. He got tape for his birthday.

That was one of the big things he wanted. A scotch tape? Scotch tape. What did with it? Lots of stuff. Tape stuff together. He's making, crafts. Just wait till he finds out about electric tape.

Yeah. Oh, it's going to be impressive. One year he asks for his birthday. Or wait until he finds out about hot glue. He like builds things out of paper. So I'm kind of excited because I think like he might be an engineer. He might have, well he might do a little like woodwork in the way. Like I've seen some this like he's like making full boxes out of paper. I'm like, a tape. I'm like, hey, bro. Yeah. I make these already.

He might be a plant. your craft packaging or something. Well, right now you need to invest in somebody if he's going through that many paper products. He goes through a lot of crafting products. There you go. He's very big into it.

But that's what, yeah, that was the moves. Tape highlighters, dress with pockets. I'm telling you. What did Lottie say to get to like fluffy shoes? Sandals.

Sandals. I did, I did ex-nay about four of them that she saw first and said those. I was like, nope, never going to wear those. But then once we found some that's like golf cart, pool approved, like, okay. Okay, that's interesting.

I mean, they're weird looking, but. That's always a good time. I like that. No, that's, hey, I do think that's a brilliant deal to do with your kids. Just let them pick. Just ask them. What do you think Mom was for Mother's Day? And then whatever they say?

I'm kind of hoping that's what I get tonight, like, just random weird stuff. Or pizza. Or pizza. It's top of it. Either. Coupons for homemade pizza nights. That's what you really want. I'm in.

Oh, Lord, have mercy. We got on side about that jerky. He said nothing to scent. Now? Some almonds. I'm not a beef turkey, man. No, boy, that's because you still sour over all that seven pounds of brisket and ribs you ate this week, yeah.

That was edible. Look at that smirk on his face when he says it. Got a big old smile. Oh, that smirk on it. Oh, man. Wasn't nothing to ride home about, but, you know, it's passable. Wasn't nothing to ride home about. That right there ought to tell you all you need to know about my man's brisket from Kilgore, Texas.

Oh, I did, I did forget. I need to tell y'all something that I liked over there at the Longview High Ridge Church. Go ahead. I'm interested. There's 280 different churches or different denominations. are different denominations in Longview. Really? Okay.

And they've started a ministry of the churches coming together. That's awesome. And right now they've got 50. So what I think or what I would like to see for this to go nationwide. So the churches stay independent of themselves, but then they get together once a while? They work together. They work together for the best of the community. That's cool.

You know, help the homeless, you know. Instead of working against each other, they're all after some common goals. Yeah, and they've got the business people, business-minded businesses, they're involved in it. You know, and what they collect, you know, give, you know, 10% goes to help the homeless feed them and, you know, try to get them back on their feet and stuff. Yeah. So it was actually a really good ministry. Cool. That's what Willie spoke about.

with these guys. That's where I had the brisket. They have a night called like Unite Night. Well, no, no. A bunch of churches. I don't know. What I would like to see is, okay, you know, the devil's lying to the human population. Let's come together, okay, because right now I wouldn't even say the word United States of America, because we're not united. So what I would challenge the nation, to do. Let's put the United back in the United States of America. Might be nice. And for actually in a good

place to start would be, hey, Jesus established the church. Okay. He's the one that died for it and brought his kingdom into being. Yeah. So look, let's come together as a nation. Okay. You know, Just, you know, if you want to put a name out in front of the building where the church meets,

just say, hey, God's children meets here. Or God's disciples meet here. Yeah. Just say the church meets here. Yeah. Yeah. Because, hey, we can have differences. But, hey, the Father, Son, Holy Spirit, they're one.

That's the way they would like to see human race. is if we think what we could do if we all would work together. Yep. Y'all, so that's my challenge to the nation. Hey, let's all work toward putting and bringing the word united where it's really real to these United States of America. Right now, I just say, hey, states of America. Because we ain't united on nothing.

We don't poke the bear and woke him up. Well, no, no. He wasn't talking a lot because he was saving it because it was. This could be a great revival for our nation. Okay, because it touched my heart over there with what these people are doing. That is a cool thing to bring all that many people in one area together for some common goals. I mean, they could still meet at their place on Sunday if they want to. Yeah, but every once a month, baby?

Yeah. Let's all meet as a community for crying out loud. Boy, the worship would be awesome, isn't it? Because we're, we believe in the same, there ain't but one God. Mm-hmm. Okay, there's three separate entities in it, but they ain't but one. Okay, so hey, let's come together on that in agreement. You know, you can disagree on a lot of things, but not on that.

Yeah. I can dig it. Hey, I support. Yeah, hey, that's the challenge for the nation. Yeah. Let's come together and put United backwards. used to be these United States of America. Yeah.

Bring United back to Monroe. No, I'm kidding. I never flew to them anyway. Because I don't know how many denominations we've got in the Twin Cities, which I'm going to find out. Yeah? I don't know. There's a lot of small churches.

But if you drive around in your towns, you'll be shocked how many different denominations there are. Claiming. Claiming. Notice I said, okay, claiming to be Christian. Why don't we all come together and, you know, unity. Let's go for some unity here, folks. Hey, I like it.

Yeah, let's unify ourselves into a break and we'll come back and read them emails and then we'll get on out of here. We'll be back right after this. The best termit taxidermy I've ever seen. It's a monkey riding a cone with a sword. What? That is a good one. That sounds like something out of Aladdin.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's a good one. Are we back? We're back. I don't know. I was scanning through the emails I wanted, but, you know, we did bad taxidermy. What did you say this was before I show Martin? The best taxidermy I've ever seen, I thought it was a monkey on riding a coon with a sword.

That's close. Read him. This is Matt. He sent this in. That would be a squirrel. Oh, a squirrel. That's even better. Riding a raccoon.

Yeah. Riding a raccoon. With a sword. Screaming. With a sword. With a sword screaming. Freedom, baby, freedom. I mean, it's a weapon to say the least.

That's a stick. But he's fashioned it into a sword. He's fashioned it into a sword. Also, Matt, charge your phone. I love it. Yeah. That's pretty cool. That's a unique one there.

I think that's what we really need. Some bizarro taxidermy for this one. Is that coyote? strapped on top of that rocket was low-key funny too. Oh, yeah. Especially if you grew up with us. That was pretty cool. Okay.

It was beep, beep. But anyway, folks, we're in the inbox. Hello at dot call room.com. Keep sending us stuff because we want to talk about it. But Johnny D. Yeah. What else we got in there? That was legit, though.

So, yeah, that was cool. We've had a fan. He calls himself Mr. Snip. I know Mr. Snip from Chattanooga. He's been around for a minute. Uh, sends a tough email in, had to put their oldest beagle to sleep last Thursday,

uh, 14 years. That's tough. That's tough. So, Andrew, buddy, so we,

we hate to hear that. But they were sitting around, talking about all their favorite memories. Uh, and he wanted to know all of our favorite memories with any of our dogs. And if we have a good memory. Oh, man.

Hmm. I got one. Martin, don't cry. The dog, whose name was bullet. This is going to be tough. He was a little,

he was a little cur. Okay. And we was waiting for the school bus. This is not the fond memory, but this, you know, everybody loved this duck. Anyway, we're fixed to get on the bus. And when we get on it and sit down,

a tractor come by with a wagon and run over, bullet. Okay. So we, the bus stops, you know, the dog's dead. We go to school crying. Everybody on the bus is crying because they know him. Get to school, the whole school is crying because they know him.

I think I'm about to cry. But he was a cool dog because when he run up on a snake, the first time he did it, we thought, said, hey, look, he's a circus dog. Because he was doing backwards flips and jumping back and turning, just doing all kind of weird stuff. then when we got up there we're saying why there's a big cotton mouth called up striking at him but that's not where i thought my fondest memory would go i thought we would have maybe told the

snake part not the tractor well no no but i'm just saying hey you know he was a cool dog i didn't see that come in and i think i've heard the story before so i should have i apologize for laughing but it was one of those laughs to keep from the crime well no no because hey you know everybody knew the dog you know it's all right well that did it for me all right so what have y'all got I can't top that

well this one time Dublin was real old and sad and moving slow so I took them to the vet and we cried then oh my goodness I had a dog name Johanna named

all our dogs with like human names like Todd We got a dog named Cal I hear you're not supposed to do that well tough because like the firemen show up to a fire

and they're like George is in there George and he's thinking that's a human but had it been Rover he might not oh yeah the dog needs to be saved too but that was a that was a good one I was gonna make that he was a black lab beautiful beautiful Oh, Todd?

Todd. Yeah, that's a good dog. And I was going to make a duck dog out of him, but she took him to her dad when New Year's and then Firecrackers spooked him. Every time Thunder or gunshot, he's in the house. Your house, my house. He ain't going to make a hunt dog. He'll make a hunting dog.

A closest house. Yeah. He ain't going to make a hunting dog. But look, don't come in the yard. If he don't know, no, sir. Did he get you? He's a good dog. He was very loyal.

Of course, Labradors are. They're very loyal to, and protect their home space. Yeah, Todd was a, he was a good dog. I always enjoyed my couch naps at Gobbins with his lap, because he didn't care. What, you knew you, though? You were in. You were in.

Yeah, it was like, he'd be like that first couple of times I went over there, and then he's like, no, I think he's, cool and then he yeah we go in there and getting gobbled with a little short recliners where my feet would hang off about four foot yeah and todd did get right up in there with me so i was like yeah buddy come on in here it'd be fine but i man we had a lot of dogs growing up like i've got memories of all of them i remember the little rat terrier we had called patches uh bandit have we had a shadow we had a what was the other one from uh from homeward bound the other dog chance chance shadow and sassy i just showed my kids never had a sassy

that was a cat but had a chance had a shadow had a tump like there was all kinds of i showed my kids homeward bound mama mama had a weeder mire the big gray dog short tail winer raner same or thing yeah and hey she can talk mama had taught her to talk She could talk. She could talk. That's tight. No, no. What would she say?

Sunday. Sunday. Chicken fried chicken meal. We're all in there, okay, and we hear a car come up in the yard. And Miami had, for about two weeks, we would get off the school bus coming in the house, and that dog would be sitting right by the door. Well, she had watched us open it. Well, she figured it out, and we couldn't keep her out the house.

She had hit that door knob with him, pause, and come on in. So we heard the door, the car drive up, heard the door slam. Dog come in, maybe come in, and went right over and sit down right in front of Mama and said, Hal's home. Everybody at the table. When she went, oh, oh, oh, oh. Everybody said, how's home?

And hey, here you come, Harris. Okay, well, he said, boy, I tell him this right, didn't I? Let's eat. Yeah. But she could talk because mama would, we would hear mom in there frying, frying egg for breakfast and bacon. And she'd say, okay, Mamie,

go and then and wake the boys up. And we hear Mamie running on them hardwood floors and turning the corner of you could hear scratching. Y'all in, hey, here she comes. She's been outside, her nose is cold. No, you can't run from me, and you couldn't keep her out of the bed. See?

Hey, see, that's a much better in the tractor. Oh, yeah. Much more fun. Her and that car was a team. And I'm not going to get into it. They was the greatest cat. Oh, that I ate. But hey.

They'll be having fun. They was a pair. Yeah, they was a pair. All right, Johnny D. Oh, man. Well, you know, it's got to be old Dublin. Man, he's been. They do everything in twos?

No. He didn't do much of anything. but he was lovable. He was lovable. He's been gone for like seven months. Oh, yeah. No, the coolest stuff about him was like, I mean, he was kind of wild for a basset hound. But, and so we were like, man, when we have kids, this is going to be a disaster.

Yeah, floppy ears. Oh, yeah, yeah. Biggins. Biggins. He step on them when he run? Sometimes. They never ran. But he didn't run much.

But he, uh. Fad him too much, didn't you? Yes. Well, he ate it, so. Well, when we brought Carter home, I said, this, this. could be bad. Like, I don't know how this is going to go. And that sucker went from just annoying Basset Hound to, like, big brother mode, like,

weirdly and, like, would take naps beside him. Like, when my mother-in-law came over and tried to pick up Carter, I heard a noise of meanness out of, like, and I was like, hold on, bro. But I was like, also, yeah, I like this. Like, it was cool to know, like, he even going to bite my mother-in-law because he got our back. That's good. And so, you know, and just all the videos. You had the one the other day of your kids laughing.

Playing fat. Playing fetch at the dog running back and forth. Man, I got some classic ones that Carter throwing food and just cracking up. They're finally all starting to like each other, Jude and the boys. They're finally all starting. Jude has finally, after seven months. Not jealous no more. Unless you said, well, I guess they're going to live here.

They ain't going to leave. I think she's just come to the realization. Well, I guess they're here now. and uh but the and the boys have really started like when they wake up in the morning times and you take them out of their room the first thing they're doing is looking for her like where where's our dog and so now when we all get in the floor for play mat time like it's cool jude gets right there in the middle of them rolls over and they lay on her and so it's uh it's gonna make it even harder when she goes she was mine and brittany's first kid dogs man yeah man dogs they're we don't deserve them that's for daggum sure

But, well, sit inside here, Jai. You got one? Marks. Though, man, it's sad about your Beagle, but thanks for sharing. I'm glad your family had good time. And the words of Phil, just get you another one and name it the same thing. I may never go away. Dublin, too, is not going to happen anytime soon.

No, well, that'd be quadrupling. That's right. That'd actually be a funny name, quadruple. Go quad. Oh, quad. Yeah. All right, I'm going to piggyback on side here, and this is kind of a deep Bible verse. because you got to know what Paul's talking to and the Corinthians and all that.

But I want you to catch the gist of it. I appeal to you brothers and sisters in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ that all of you agree with one another and what you say and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in mind and thought. I think we can take from this. The original plan of Jesus was for us to follow Jesus. Yeah.

and get behind that idea and spread that idea. It is really cool what those guys over in Longview are doing at High Ridge and all the surrounding churches, trying to be united and going out and growing Christ in the community, not in a building. So, Sa, send us up. Let me finish this without with a challenge again. Okay.

There's a phrase, united, we stand, divided, we fall. This nation is falling, folks. we better come back together. Let's come back together and get united and start with the church, okay, in our cities and in our towns.

Let's start a movement, guys. That's my challenge to you. Amen. We'll see y'all next time. We'll see y'all next time right here in the duck car. We're out. Bye.