Duck Call Room - Uncle Si's Greatest Fantasy Matchups of All Time

Episode Date: May 6, 2021

Si Robertson was a football phenom back in the day, and oh, does he have stories. After reliving the near-death experience of going up against Steve "The Bear" Jones, Si, Martin, JD, and Phillip play a game of what-ifs. What if prime Muhammad Ali got in the ring with prime Mike Tyson? Who would win if Jack Nicklaus took on Tiger Woods and Michael Jordan took on Kobe Bryant? Could Walker, Texas Ranger beat Marshal Matt Dillon in a fight? And most importantly, would Si rather fight one Martin-sized duck or 100 duck-sized Martins? The boys try to come up with the toughest man who ever lived, and they debate which quarterback is the GOAT: Drew Brees or Tom Brady. Si also attempts to name a fan's baby and shares his advice on raising a daughter. - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Si, I'm about ready for you to do these intros. Go ahead, Si. Do you know what I'm going to say? No, you don't what that would be? What? That would be the start of the comedy hour. Well, then go. Well, then we're 18 seconds into that.

Yeah, I thought that's what we were doing. Welcome to people. Welcome to people. Hey, welcome people to what is, duckhall room slash.com. That's close enough. Hey, everything's slash.com when you do computers. boys at least i know that they'll find it sign actually that recently changed it's actually no one informed me it's actually dot com slash not slash dot com you've got the order a little there it is

you know you know he's dyslexic anyway guaranteed but i love the fact that i didn't realize i said the word guaranteed a lot until we started this podcast guarantee people like to point that Martin, you've been on that guaranteed bag for a... Guaranteed. Yeah, didn't realize it. But I'm glad somebody at home is listening and pays attention to that. But we're here in the duck call room. Look, if you're new to the channel, be sure you subscribe.

That's YouTube.com slash duck call room. Once we get to 40,000 subscribers, which we're not far. We're getting close. We're getting closer. All the people that have ever commented with the word sigh, and we're going to take any spelling of sigh, That's I-S-I. C-Y.

C-Y. C-Y. Okay. C-Y. There's all kind of ways. I like that. Do you know a man named Cy spelled C-Y? Yeah, he played baseball with Cy Young.

Yeah, I said, Cy Young. No, I'm kidding. He just whistle at baseball boys. But anyways, once we get to 40,000, you leave a comment mentioning Cy, we're going to pick from those people, the subscribers, and the commenters, and you're going to win 15 minutes on Zoom with Uncle Si. It's 15 minutes you'll never forget. I can assure you that. So be sure, like, subscribe, comment, all that good stuff. YouTube.com slash duck call room.

So it's not that hard, Sa. I know. I actually feel like I'm at the fair, and I need a tennis ball. All you gets one shot. Them are like the milk jugs, boys. By the way. Knock down and one of a teddy bear. Well, then I'm putting on a helmet.

Before you put a helmet, all right, boy. Get Johnny Dee's helmet. Before you walked in, Martin, sigh threw me. a moon pie and I almost knocked my head off and spit my coffee. I heard the calamity. Yeah. That's sigh throwing the moon pies, starting a food fight in here that he can't finish. Like moon pie banana.

Oh, a banana? It's the flavor. A banana moon pie. Okay. You didn't like it, so you just decided to throw it? Well, he said, the old one that just asked me, did I play sports? Yeah. And I answered, yes, I played them all.

Thank you. And then Phillips said, throw me. Did you play you? I didn't get moon pie out of my mouth before he let loose with it. Hey, here it comes the whistle. Did you play any of them well? I know you played them all, but did you play any well? I played one of them very well.

What's that? Tea ball. Football. Football. I was a great downfield blocker. I can see that. Because it was to the point, you got to understand. I had it down to a science, okay.

If you were a really good referee, you would call clipping, okay? Because it's always, I was getting him by halfway from the back side. side from blindsiding him. You was crack back blocking before it was cold. Oh, yeah. Oh, okay. The forward pass had been invented. And concussions were legal about.

That's what wrong with everybody. They didn't play football. You know, they didn't have no helmets on, so they knew to get their head out the way. The worst thing they did for a football player was give them a helmet. Worst thing they did to a football player. Well, they got it worried they can't even play anymore. No, they're playing flag football now. No, no.

But if you took the helmets off, that's actually an interesting one. No, no. If you just remove the helmets, then people stop using them as weapons. When they played back in them, J's, JD. When you were a kid? Yeah. They will call Iron Men, and they was called that way for a reason. You went offense and defense.

Oh, yeah. Okay, so, hey, you had to be, you know, long-lasting longevity. Okay. You had to go all the way out on offense. Then when you turn around, you go all out on defense. So you played receiver and quarterback? Oh, I thought the ball didn't run to catch it. Quarterback and receiver.

Okay, I've heard it all now. Back in the end day, so you had to be doing it all. Well, you, so, I mean, I know you went to a small school, so there was only like eight of you, so you played quarterback and receiver? Oh, I played. Kicker, punner. All positions. I don't think you play defensive tackle. No.

I did play Monster Man on defense though. Monster Man. Yeah. It's a new position. I had one. Phyllis. No, you just take out their best play. No, no.

I had one job. Go to the football. Okay. It didn't, you know, it was where it was at? It's at that. Go to the football. Kill the man with a ball. That's what the other 10 people are doing too.

The best defensive play I ever made, we was playing Fair Park. Fair Park. Yep. And three, four. And that was when Steve the Bear Jones won All America. All America. Steve the Bear Jones? Yep.

Steve the Bear Jones. He's the fullback. Back check. About 5-4, 280. Okay, and just no neck. Okay. Well, I gathered that from 5-4-280. No, no.

You're going to be missing some pieces of that. He had a head on shoulders and then, hey, look, I started to tackle the quarterback. Yon, because, hey. He said, huck! Quarterback's hook! Look, the hole opened up, okay. The guard in the center cross-blocked, okay? The hole opened up big enough

for you drive 18, where they're sideways to it. That's a big one. Yeah. But anyway, I started to hit the quarterback, I said, I'm not going to make it. I'm going to have to hit the man. The bear. The bear.

I'm going to have to take on the bear. Well, I took him on. And the only thing Coach Sark said when we was watching it on the film Get your head out of the way No no he just said Son the only problem you got you ain't got enough Beans in your pants Because look I hit Steve the Barry Jones perfectly

Form was right Hit my hip wrap on him Hey no no Wrap my arms around his legs 35 yards behind me I finally tripped him up After he had just beat me to death With his knees

So he drug you 35 yards? No, no, he didn't drag me. He was bouncing me off his knees for 35 yards. He sang a little song while he did it. I felt like I had been in the ring was nine sumo wrestlers. Let me tell you something. And they had all jumped on top of me. Si didn't trip him up.

Steve got tired. That's the only reason he went down. Oh, no, no, no. He had that 90 pounds on him. I look like a monkey rolling around on a rich. A rugby ball. A rugby ball. A rugby ball.

Basically, you look like a hamster in a wheel. Oh, no, no, yeah. That's what you looked like. And he was literally beating me to death with his knees. But you wasn't letting go. It sounded like this. I did get him down. You got that.

I did get him down. It was amazing. I would pay money to go back in time and watch Cyper. Hey, no, no, no. Look, Jerry Aldrich, the coach of West Monroe. West Monroe has got some films of me. playing football. I'm serious.

We need that. We're going to get Coach Arlis, because Coach Arles, we're going to bring him on the show. No, no. Coach Arles, coach me now. Well, no, no, because, hey, I'm serious. He has film of you playing football.

He's got film of me playing football. Way back to 1900? Yeah, way back to 19, what, what, I graduated 66, yeah, like 64. There were cameras then. Yeah, I don't know. That's fantastic. No, no.

Oh, no. Coach Arles, you probably don't watch this or listen to it. Hey, we're coming for you, coach. No, no. Hey, you need to get it. I'm calling in a favor, coach. No, no, yeah, because you're talking about a good comedy hour. Watching me on film, playing football, oh, it would be a little.

I don't know if I want Coach Arles here. He'd be telling stories about when I was 15. No, we don't want to hear those. It was a family show, Mark. He was a good football player. Yeah. Real good. Good coach, too.

Yep. Very good. Like good, like you were good? Well, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, he actually tackled the bear. No, no, yeah. He didn't just ride him. Well, hey, look, he was a lineman.

Okay, he had a little weight on it, but I didn't have no weight. Look, you got to understand. I weighed 130 pounds. So you look like Martin in the third grade. That's probably not right. Hey, Martin was a grown man in the third grade. I can guarantee you this. In the sixth, I weighed more than one third.

Well, no, no, I'm just telling you, hey, he was a grown man. No, when Martin played football the first time, they were like, he had to step on the scale and he wasn't allowed to run the football. Yeah. Because he was too big. And I only got to put one foot on a scale. So let me ask you this, Mark. He's stand on one leg, Martin. Did Joe ever play bull in the ring?

You remember that? Oh, yeah. Okay. So look, my favorite thing to do, because I also played the best round. That's how they figured out who was going to play safety. Yeah. The boys that quit on that one, they're like, no, you get out of here. So you get in the middle, you get in the middle of this ring.

You're surrounded by guys, all the football players. And everybody's got a number. And they call the numbers. So when they call, my number was 24. So they'd say, whoever's in the middle, and then they'd say 24. And they'd look around, they'd look at me. I just act like I wasn't paying attention. And then when they turn their head,

and then they didn't forget who 24 was again. A fellow sneak attack. Hey, I learned it from size. There's a reason they call him McVillen. Yeah. He's always looking for an edge. Got an edge. You always got to have an egg.

You took cheap shots on people? Only once because then, like I said, then they knew it. When we were talking baseball. Yeah, they all had a meeting before. McMillan's 24. 24. They just wait on for. Baseball.

Who was the pitcher? Nolan Ryan. It's a major league game. I think it may have been in for the World Series even. Nolan Ryan. He's a big, no, he's a big, long, tall fellow. Randy Johnson. Hit the bird with a ball?

And hit the pigeon. Oh, yeah. And exploded a pigeon. Well, yeah, 99 miles an hour. Fastball, 99 miles an hour, and hey, that was the greatest film ever done. That big old long, Rossco. I mean, hey, he come off the mound was halfway to home plate. That's how tall he is.

I'm trying to show it to you. Sign, watch that right now. He looked like he was shown with a 12-gauge. The pigeon literally exploded. We're friends of pigeons here in the duck-car room. But that would bit the dust, baby. Hey. That's unreal.

He wasn't a guy at Eagle. No. Eagle has seen it coming. Oh, he's seen it coming. That's right. I tell you what, that pigeon there? No. He's gone.

He's gone. So that wasn't like hitting him with that rock and just turning his head around backwards. That pretty well powdered him. This thing literally, it looked like a 12-gauge full choke. I remember it. Yeah, with about, oh. probably two because it blew up so bad. You know, good grief.

All right. Well, let's take our first break. We'll be back right after this. All right, look, springtime is here. It's warming up. You know what that means. That means more outside cooking. And y'all know. We love to eat beef around here.

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I don't know why I like watching baseball fights so much. Because most of them are like pillow fights until you run into the Nolan Ryan one. Well, that's because once again, Nolan Ryan is the toughest man to ever live. Easy. Well, we can make a list. Oh, we got him. Sorry, we're still watching. What a lick.

Watch this one. Bam! glasses went one way look like teeth once another got him got him are we filming right now yeah we're all

okay uh yeah my bad I was just watching you I thought we were in break you're saying and Philo's checking the stock market what you got money in right now you got any hot ones

oh you got any hot ones oh you boy jason gave me a few hot tips oh boy got some hot tip hey I will say jace is pretty sharp when it comes to the stock market

hey you want to know what I put a bunch of money in six flags because we're going back to roller coasters, baby. Oh, I was supposed to say Rolex, bades, oh, here we go. Soft shoes.

You know, I found the people that are pretty sharp at stocks are independently wealthy anyway, so it doesn't really matter. Yeah, make a bet and see where it hits. Just see what happens. Any house, no, Nolan, right, who did you say was tougher than Nolan Wright?

Oh, Walker, Texas Ranger. Oh, that's not even a real person. About Chuck Norse? That is a real person. That's a real person. Walker, Texas Ranger, who would win in a fight? Walker, Texas Ranger or Matt Dillon. Ooh, you shouldn't put him to the test like that, J.D.

No, don't answer to side. Don't answer that side. Let me just tell you. Matt Dillon would never get that pistol up to whip him because he'd have done got roundhouse kicked in the chin. I don't know about that boys. He would have told Trevette, hold my hat. Trayette, yeah.

Hold my hat. Hold on. Roundhouse kick. I just found a whole website. Y'all forget one thing. Dedicated to Matt Ditt. Dillon versus White. Matt Dillon was the marshal of Dodd City.

That's fine. The Dodd City was a wild town. Well, let me tell you. Walker, Texas Ranger was the Ranger of Texas. Yeah, them Jayhawkers don't want nothing to do with a Texan. Never like the Jayhawkers, I said. Are you going Matt Dillon over Walker, Texas Ranger? I'm going to know-drawn.

I think it would be a good fight to watch. Okay. I think, I think the Texas Rangers would be shot. and he probably had a pistol laid upside his head about three times well just so we're clear Walker carried a pistol too now he didn't have to use it but he toaded it with us the eyes of a ranger

or a pause I don't know what they used to say one riot one ranger I don't know what that means it only takes one you can have a riot and they'll only send one ranger yeah oh

because when he comes in the town He's up to Texas Red. Yeah. So you're going with Matt, who's... I would just say it would be a good fight. Besides Samson. Toughest man ever, Phil. I've got Nolan Ryan.

I feel like I've kind of sold myself short. Yeah, yeah. Walker, Texas Ranger. Come back. You got to come back to me. Come back to you. Well, you're last. Everybody else's gone.

Who'd you say, Martin? Walker. Chuck Norris. He won up Nolan Ryan with Chuck. No, you're going with Kung Fu. No, I'm going with Chuck Norse. That's Kung Fu. Oh.

It's not really Kung Fu. It's like... It's like... It's like Redneck kicking. Alive or dead, Johnny? You're forgetting whatever you want to do. Mars or Dillon's redneck too. Yeah, no, I'm giving you that.

All right. So I probably don't know this one, but I'm going to have to go with a local name, J-Y-D. That's the junkyard dog. Bo-D-boom. Boom-boom. You're going with Snoop Dog? No. Junkyard Dogs from W.W.E.

Junkyard Dog. He's going with Snoop Dog, boy. He's a rapper. Snoop Dog. Yeah, I'm the only person that picked a real human being. I picked Chuck Norris. No, you picked Walker, Texas Rangers. Well, that was his...

Chuck Norris is a real person. That was in his prime. Yes, he is. Yeah. You're saying Chuck Norris in his prime. He never actually kicked somebody. That was all acting. No, that wasn't acting. Junkyard Dog.

Yeah, that's what I mean. I'm just saying. Oh, now, that was real. We used to watch that. That's real. Cy, wrestling's real. You know it. You know wrestling.

I remember when, you know, Jason and Willie and all that was into that. Yeah. Yeah. And I told what I told Jay's that he was getting the ring. I said, Jace, here's one little thing. Let me tell you a little secret. If I climb up on the top rope and I jump and land in your chest with my knee, you're going one or two places.

They're going to bury you Or you're going to the hospital For emergency life support surgery You're not going to get up And then whoop me in the end of this Okay That's the one or two places Was gonna be after the burial

I thought that's a morgue or the hospital I was going heaven or somewhere else Now I will give them this Them are the greatest stunt men and stunt ladies who those that are in the ring and doing all this stuff

oh yeah that's funny if you don't because if they wasn't there would be a lot of people dying in the wrestling industry I mean like all the time I love it

I love who have we gone over our favorite wrestlers I don't know I don't think so oh yeah we have oh yeah we did hacks all Hey, that's it. All you got to do is think of a two before.

Whoop. And here it comes. I need to watch more junkyard dogs. I didn't know. That's old school. And he's got a good theme song. What was the theme song? Another one bites the dust.

Okay. Let's see how that song goes. Who is the best boxer ever? Muhammad Ali. All right, moving on. Are you saying it's not? Are you saying? Are we sure?

I met Holyfield in the airport. Are we talking about pound for pound? Just overall. No, no, no. If you say somebody, they got to be able to beat the person I say. I don't care how much a weigh. I'll take Holyfield in his prime. Evander, the real deal, Holyfield.

Oh, yeah. Half of air and everything. I met him in the airport. I've met him one time. Half an ear and all. He did. He's a big man. Somebody bid a ear off?

Yeah, Mike Tyson. Mike Tyson's tough too, though. You don't want to get hit by Mike Tyson. No, not at all. I just wish I could stomp on you. I'm going to tell him you said that, Jay. You know Mike Tyson? No.

But he's probably listening. I don't think Mike Tyson. Mike, if you're out there, please don't hit me. Also, you've said some outrageous stuff. And please come sit in this chair. Yeah. Whatever you said you wanted to eat our children, what did you mean? Who's the two you would like to see?

Box? Yeah, in their prime when they were at the top of their game. Oh, so we like time machine stuff here. Yeah, yeah, the best of the best of their prime. Yeah, the best of the best at time. I would like to see Muhammad Ali versus Tyson. Oh, that's a good one. That's a good one.

That would have been both of them in their prime. That would be a pretty good. Yeah. I like this. Because you got quick over power. I know. But who would... Oh, I have no idea.

Then, okay, who would you put your money on in that fight? Muhammad Ali. I mean, probably, Ali. I couldn't. Not in Tyson's prime. But, I mean... Yeah, he wouldn't be able to hit him. Oh, yeah.

Oh, he'd hit him because he'd move in close. That part, I just... The problem is Tyson may get caught. All these arms a little longer. So he's going to have to get in there uncomfortably close. But you've seen him get in there close before. I know. That would be a good scrap bear.

No, no. That would be one that, I don't even know, you know, I'd have to ask the odds makers. Who are you going on this one here? It would be about even money. Because the thing about it is, if Tyson got a lick on Alley. Oh, yeah, he can hit.

He's a bruiser. Yeah. Well, I can speak to this more than the rest of us because he watched both of them. Because boxing was cool. Well, he watched both of them in their prime. Now boxing's just. We try not to get hit.

That's the thing, though. Boxing just had to clip somebody out of $199 for a pay-per-view now. And then they never even hit each other. Yeah. Who was the guy Don King that was the promoter? That's when we quit watching. Hair, hair. That's the guy of cool hair.

Yeah, he was. But you know what the best thing that ever came out of boxing was, that grill? Because that thing, you could grill some chicken on that thing. Oh, no, no, no. George Forham. George Forham and knew how to make a grill. Big George. Yeah.

Big George. But you got to think about, hey, Ali had a six-foot wingspan. Yeah. Yeah. Six-foot wingspan. That's why, like, everybody that wants to watch his spot. I got a six-foot wingspan.

No, no, no, no, no. This is one arm. One arm. Oh, this is a six-foot arm. Oh, his six feet arms is what kept him in the game. No, no, no. This is one-on-arm. Oh, this ain't doing this.

It took a minute to get there, though. This ain't doing this. He had a six-foot reach. I don't think he had a six-foot reach. Okay. But I wish he did. No, no, I'm serious. People used to watch him for one reason.

Because he had six-foot arms. No, no. They was hoping somebody would whip him. He should have been on the greatest show, but if that's the case. The Guinness Book of World Records. No, no, I'm serious. I'm the baddest man alive. Look at my six-foot arms.

Right. Well, not only that. You got a six-foot arm. You're going to trip over it. Hold on. No, Johnny Dez. I just Googled Muhammad Ali's reach. It's six foot reach, I'm telling you.

Six and a half foot. Yeah, that's this. So reach is this. Reach is everything combined. Yeah, but he had, it had to be pretty. I'm not sure that ain't this, this, okay? I think it's just one. Six foot on.

A man alive has got a six foot. Well, hey, I'm just saying. He did. Well, no, no, look. Mike Tyson only had 71 inches. Look, because the reason I'm saying this, it's okay. Because the perfect man, remember that model of some Da Vinci's perfect man,

like your reach should always equal your height, like finger to finger. Oh, here we go biology, man. And the ones that were great, their reach was greater than their height. That means they could fight outside of themselves. Well, that's what I'm saying. I used to look, when Ali used to do his little dance, he had his arms. They was hanging near his ankles. No, how serious?

Smoking. The man was doing the dance. Hey, his hands will by his feet. We're going a little long here. How tall is Muhammad Ali? Muhammad Ali reach 78 inches, height 6'3 foot 3. Yeah, so see, he's five inches. He's fighting five inches outside of his body, is what they're saying.

So I'm 6-2, but my reach is probably 6-2. Or maybe even just a hair shorter. Yeah, sure. Come on, man. No, I'm just saying, like, that's. I'm serious, hey. Od's are you're shorter than you are. You need to run some old films if you could get them.

And hey, no, no, I'm serious. And run it. Well, yeah. He said, look, he's dancing like this. Well, his arms are. Hey, people are throwing licks at him and he didn't even come close. His arms are two or three inches longer than a normal man, so it's going to look like he's got. Oh, no, no, look like he's dragging the ground.

I'm serious. I'm serious. Oh, my goodness. I like the boxing episode. We'll look more into that. Let's take another break. We'll be back at after. His arms really are.

It's weird. Yeah. Did you ever box? In the military? I had a buddy in high school. Okay. He went to the Golden Glove finals. He got beat out in the finals.

Did you ever boxed in high school? No. I wish I would have because I'm telling you, people don't realize watching a sport like boxing. You're talking about got to be in shape. Oh, 100%. To go for three minutes is ridiculous. They got to be able to jab like for 15 minutes to actually go in and get in the ring for three minutes.

But I like, I like this prime versus prime. So yeah, let's go with another one. Let's go Tiger Woods versus Jack Nicholas. That's not fair. Prime versus prime. No, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah. Yeah.

That would be a good matchup. It wouldn't be though. Oh, it would be. Yes, it would too. Because Tiger Woods, Prime versus Prime, has way better equipment. Like, Tiger Woods got $5,000. So either Jack and his prime plays with Tiger stuff. Or Tiger goes back to that.

You're going to come up with a dead draw. You know the time. Now, talent, no, because here's the thing. Talent for talent. Yep. We're talking like in their prime, talent for talent. Tiger versus Jack. Yeah.

Who you got? Tiger. I'd hate to go to the odds makers and say, hey, now, who you, here we go. Why can't you make a decision for yourself? It's going to be even money. You are the odds maker. I would probably go,

I would probably have to go with Tiger. Tiger. I never saw Jack Nick on. That's the problem is a lot of people don't, nowadays don't remember. Well, no, no, because you don't realize, just, unless you've met some of, of these people and been around them and watch what they can do with these stupid things.

Yeah. No, I think it is. It's unreal. I think it'd be a great match. I really do. I don't know. I mean, probably give the edge to Tiger, but I think that bias comes from me growing up watching Tiger. I'm sure somebody who grew up watching Jack would say.

What's the same way. But I just think it would be really fun to be able to watch stuff like that. I mean, it'd be like the same deal of watching, you know, Kobe and Michael Jordan. No, that wouldn't even be close. Nah, Michael Jordan. Thank you. Not even close? No.

Not even close? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Y'all not understanding something here, okay. I'm on Michael Jordan side. I know, but you don't understand. Kobe Bryant ain't, ain't no slout, son. I would 100% agree. No, no, no, no, no.

You got to understand, okay? Because here we go again. This is a talent thing. Okay. And Michael Jordan. They're even. Easy. And then Michael Jordan would come to your house and like slit your tires to make sure he won.

I'll give you a jump and you got to understand something. Okay. If you have never met one of these guys. A basketball player? Yeah. Have you? No, no, no. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. This is one of them, look, you come walking in. Headphones off. No,

no, headphones are all. He is standing up. We can't hear you, Saat. You come walking in. We can't hear him. He's walking around the office.

He's looking up. He's still looking up. To the ceiling. He still looking up. You're not even on the YouTube channel. You're still on human. This guy is... I'm in Sise Mike.

And again on the arm reach. He's getting on. giving us a full rundown on how tall basketball players are. There's a lot of y'all that complain about our audio anyway. This one's really going to be bad for you. Anyway, so basketball players are big. Welcome back, Cy. They're tall.

But that doesn't make Kobe better than Michael Jordan, because Michael Jordan's just big as Kobe. I know. Look. What do you want me looking at? You can Google it. I'm going Google it. Stats.

Stats. Kobe Bryant. Stats. Michael Jordan. Michael Jordan took three years after to go play baseball. Hey, they're going to be, no, no, they're going to be close. Yeah, but baseball needed Michael. Michael didn't need baseball.

Michael don't need nobody. They're going to be close. Raise your hand if you watch Michael Jordan play baseball. Raise your hand if you went to Birmingham to do it. Oh, I didn't do that. The Birmingham Barrens, man. You didn't saw a game? Heck yeah, I did.

That's awesome. Raise your hand if Michael Jordan owes you money from the golf course. That's not true. Okay, that's why. Raise your hand if you ever seen Michael Jordan fly. Like on TV? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

From the, from the circle to the hoop and dunk it. Kobe do it too now. And Kobe could do it also. Well, I'm just saying. Michael Jordan was a little meaner, although Kobe was mean too. But Michael Jordan, he had nobody gives him credit for the defense. I'm giving you the Vegas odds. Michael Jordan is a little bit favored.

Okay. I'm going to a little better defense, and Jordan's stats, he scored just as much as Kobe did, basically, took a couple years off. And he did it in the days where Charles Barkley was trying to take your head off. Basketball has slowly gotten softer and softer, just like football. Yeah, which I let me tell you. And Michael Jordan did it in the mean day. Well, here's what I- He dropped 50 points and they'd win 87 to 80. But here's what I tell you about Jordan.

If Jordan played in Kobe's era, he'd have played just. like him. He wouldn't have been down there fighting because he ain't got to. He had to, in his era, to do what he had to do. That's a good point. It's an excellent point that I hate. I mean, it's just part of what it is. Yeah, but it's, it's part of what it is. Yeah, but it's,

I'm just telling you, you're forgetting. It doesn't discount the battle, and I would pay lots of money. Rest in peace, Kobe. No, no. Great man. I'd love to see it. Great dad. Oh, no, no. Love to see. Baller of a basketball player. That would have been an epic, epic and nobody gives a fly.

and rip about you LeBron. Thank you. Moving on. Well, no, no, because it's the same thing with... Shut up and dribble. With the Magic Johnson. We got political. Stop it.

Same thing. Larry Bird, Magic Johnson. Yeah. Now, Magic Johnson, whoop, Larry Bird. Oh, now, come on, Johnny Deke. He's too young to know. He's too young to know. He's too young to know.

He's out loud. And Dan Marley would wipe the floor with all of them. Hey, kids, look up Dan Marley. Hey, for the three, yo, in our comment section, I actually know who Dan Marley is plus John David. Welcome to the show. Dan Marley is my favorite basketball player of all time. He was not on the original dream team. He was on the Dream Team two.

Number nine, Phoenix Suns later became coach of the Grand Canyon State University Anelubs. Great guy. And if we keep this podcast up, inevitably, you will see John David ditch the honeyhole shirt for a Dan Marley jersey at some point. Amen, amen, amen, and amen. I love Dan Marley. Thunder Dan. Oh, since we've been talking about it,

that would be something to see is go back and collect, okay, collect all the greats and put them on this team and this team and then let them go ahead and each other. I'm taking, you give me Michael Jordan, John Stockton,

Carl Malone, Scotty Pippin, and Charles Barkley, and they'd whoop anybody now. I think I might have said six people, so that would help them. I'd have a sub. Yeah.

But you give me those. The dream team, I mean, you ain't. I'll take the Harlem Globetrotters. He's a New York Generals kind of guy. Well, you named off a few, but then I got to thinking about, okay, no, you could take this and that and match. That's what's fun about these what-if matchups. Is they're impossible to prove?

They are. Because here's the thing. On Michael Jordan and Kobe. Okay. You're talking about two guys. with the same drives. No, no.

Had a tenacity. Yeah. In the sport. Want to. That's a lot of miles talk there. They're the same. They're the same, okay,

because these guys, they're unreal. Oh, yeah. Okay. They wear that. They're past being human. Yeah. You know what's sad?

They really are. They're past being human. Yeah. Hunter. Hunter. Yeah. They're all freaks. All the great ones are freaks.

No, no, I'm serious. They really are. Michael, Jordan, you got to think about it. He could leave the ground at the circle for crying out loud. Yeah. At the circle. At the circle behind the fritho where you stand on the line on three toes and circles behind it, his foot could be at behind the circle.

He leaves the ground and stunks it. And when John David jumps, his feet don't leave the ground. Not both at the same time anyway. You can't get a piece of paper. Hey, look, maybe this far. He can't jump rope. He can't jump rope. Maybe you can't jump rope.

No, I can't. He can't jump rope. He jumps fishing line. I never touched the realm. Well, he uses braid that way it don't break. That's right. Don't break. Okay.

All right. I love it. I like where this wet. I do too. No, no. We probably got time for another one after this break. Let's come up with another. one in the break and less debate.

If y'all bring Drew Breeze up, I'm going to get mad. No, no. That's why I was going next. Okay. Here we go. We'll save it. Number one. Hands down, don't say anything different. Or I'll hurt you. We're back.

We're back? Who's the greatest quarterback ever? No. Yep. No. He's not. No, he's not. He's not the greatest quarterback.

Is he not the greatest quarterback? The most accurate? 100%. You can't argue that. Yeah, that's him. Guaranteed. Guaranteed. Hey, here's the thing about...

Is he the greatest quarterback? No. No. Yes. He wasn't the greatest team like Tom Brady who had all top ten defenses his entire career. Well, no, no. Tom Brady.

No, no. You got a fourth. Yeah, he won a couple of Super Bowls with 13 points. Time out. You know. Drew Breeze brought him there and had a leaky faucet for a defense. Don't even get me started. Time out.

You know how you get top ten defenses? The coach calls and say, hey, you won't come play with Tom Brady? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I do. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

That started before. No, no, no, no. You got to, Jay, you got to give the man. The man, his got his due. I'm just saying, everybody builds him up. He played, every team he was ever on was real good. Here's the thing about Drew Brees. Thank you.

He's the best ever. No, no, personally. All right, moving on. Here's the thing about. Let's go to hockey. Wayne Gretzger, Sidney Crosby. No, no. Drew B's to be as little as he is.

Drew Brees is just smarter than everybody else. No, no, no, no. as little as he is, okay, to have done what he's done is a super achievement, okay? Really? Amen. Especially once.

Yeah. Okay, and he won Super Bowl. So I, yeah. I will point out. But it's got an asterisk out beside it. Oh, my God. Uh-oh.

I'm glued on this podcast. But if you, if you go back. I love starting that. I love starting that. You can go back and change like 10 places. that all went in favor of Tom Brady and all went in disfavor of Drew Breeze when neither one of them were on the field

and everybody would be like, oh, Drew Breeze is the best ever. Tuck Rule, stupid Minneapolis Miracle, stupid, we were going to keep the flag in our pocket, that ridiculousness. Freaking Adam Venetary kicking 50-yard field goals at the end of games. What's his name? Seattle, Seahawks should have beat them

and they didn't run the ball. Tom Brady's ever sitting over there going, we lost and then Malcolm Butler intercepts the dumbest pass of all time. And then Tom Brady's like, yeah, what again? It's, he plays, it's just the, he's, he's really, really, really good. But he's the luckiest man alive. And his hands are really, really heavy. And then his wife makes $50 million a year and I'm sick of Tom Brady.

No, no. Sicky you. Here's the greatest part of all this is, okay? Tell us. Hi. I'm sick of you, Tom. You know where all this comes from or where all this leads to or whether it's actually going to pinpoint to?

The Super Bowl? Nope. I think I know where you're doing. Is the coach. No, Tom Brady proved that wrong. I used to think that. Nope. Nope.

I'm going to side. What? The coach. Yeah. What about it? Because you got to look. Okay. Tom Brady.

Tom Brady comes to another team. And wins again. And that's it. But why did he win? Because the coach? Because he's Tom freaking Brady. Nope, coach. And because he had Devin White, a crazy person playing middle line.

Hey, look here. Once again. No, no. The coach. Go tigers. Go tigers. Hey, the coach, he had 10 other players to put with Tom Brady. Well, yeah.

Because you know why? Hey, Tom's coming to Tampa. You won't come? Well, no, no. That's why I'm saying. I only like two people did that. Well, hey. Leonard Fornett and Gronk and Gronk's passing.

I don't want to talk football. And the other crazy person? Football just makes me mad in every sense of the form. I used to like football. Then a bunch of stuff happened, and they can't throw penalty flags, and I don't like football anymore. And Taysam Hill is the greatest football player to ever live, hands down. And then the Saints lost again in the playoffs.

And here again, again, I go with the coach. How many has the what's the name? Nobody's talking about Tom Brady. I mean, Super Bowls have old what's your name, the Patriots won. Belichette? Yeah. One less than Tom Brady. Yeah, one less than Tom.

Yeah. How many is it? Six and Tom Brady has seven. Can we talk about something, though? They drafted Mac Jones. Just anything else. Just not football. I'm so sick of football.

They compare draft pictures and said that's our guy. That's their guy. It looked just like Tom's. And he's already used to playing for such a warm and bubbly coach. Who was the coach in basketball that had Jordan and all them guys? Phil Jackson. The greatest basketball coached, Who was like, I just keep saying, hey, this is going to pinpoint down to the man running it, boys.

I do believe in that, though. It starts with the coach. Most of the time. Because he will not accept nothing, especially in football. Bill Belichick taught Tom Brady how to win. That's it. And then Tom Brady took that to Tampa with him. Yes, sir, he did.

That's a good point. 100% he did that. Oh, yeah. I still have. Why are we talking about this? But, I'm just sad. But, hey, it didn't work for Michael and Charlotte, though, or wherever he went. The Wizards, when Jordan was a Washington wizard.

Well, hey, you got. Oh, yeah, he owned part of Charlotte or whatever. The thing about that is, you've got to go and they've got to have something for you to lead. Tom Brady is a leader. Tom Brady went to another team. Okay. And bam, here he comes, boys. And when the boys put their odds on it and everybody went against them.

Tom Brady? Yep. I said y'all should have called me and asked. He did. You don't bet against Tom Brady. Oh, you didn't know? Yeah, didn't you? Don't you know?

You better call somebody. You better call somebody, son. Look at it. I just want Chuck Norris to show up and kick Tom Brady's butt. He would have, but according to you, Nolan Ryan sent him into retirement. Matt Dylan can handle Tom Brady. Oh, boy. Anyways.

They could, but he ain't going to mess with Giselle. What's next? What's next on our agenda? I'm in a foul mood. This podcast is no longer fun. You got to look at it, though. The reason I'm staring at it, coach. You've made me look at it 15 times.

Take college basketball. Uh-oh. Okay. We went down a different road here. The guys that are always in the playoffs or in the running. It didn't none of them make it this year. I know. It's a weird year.

Something went bad this year. Yeah. Yeah. I was serious. I know it. Because normally it's what, Duke, North Carolina, Kentucky. Kentucky. Well, all the guys that should just have gone straight to the NBA for the one year just went ahead.

Yeah, it's like the NBA D league. Yeah, that's what they are. Yeah. What else do you all want to talk about that's actually fun, like sunshine and puppies? Oh, this should have been a blast, J.D. I just don't like football anymore. I bet a bunch of people don't like football anymore. Everybody's sick of you.

Oh, we just had the draft. I don't even know. I was gone. Who did the Saints draft? They do anything worth them? You've never heard of them. Other than the Notre Dame quarterback? Yeah, we did get that guy.

Well, I fixed that. What was the deal about somebody just got a quarterback and then didn't get no receivers? Oh, that was Aaron Rogers. Aaron Rogers once out. Yeah. Come to New Orleans. Um, but yeah.

You know, that's the coach. If you got a good quarterback, that's got a good arm and you don't have nobody to throw the ball to him. Thank you. You know, hey, well, you just wasted your bunny. That's why Taysom Hill is the greatest football player ever. He can play it everything. He can do every one of them.

He can do stuff Tom Brady never thought about doing it. He can play it all. Who's the better middle linebacker, Tassum Hill or Tom Brady? Thank you. Moving on. Best football player. It don't matter if Tom Brady can't bench all of his rings and Taysam Hill can. There's still Tom's.

They're still Brady. They're still Brady in Hill 7. Super Bowl rings. He keeps playing. He's going to need another hand. He's still going to sleeper old ring, boy. Well, I'm tired of this podcast. He's tired.

Anybody want a Bible verse about Tom Brady? Folks at home, it ain't very often you can get this boy to not want to talk. So the fact that we got him there, that's an accomplishment. He's hurting. Well, we got to take one more. Moss will steal, kill, and destroy all those rings. But we got to take it. take one more break.

What is that time? This is the smallest fellow playing I feel for you. Oh, Lord. Well, let's take one more break, and we're going to get into the inbox, and we'll wrap it up. I might put my feet up for this second. He's going to put his feet up, boys. Oh, man. This is a what-if podcast.

Yeah, this has been fun. I'm so confused. I enjoy watching people squirm. That's fun. I'm not squirming. I don't even care anymore. He don't really care anymore. He ain't football anyway.

Thank you. Oh, man. Well, Johnny D. What is in our hello at duck callroom. Dotcom inbox? We got anything over there? Anybody have been interested in what's going on? No.

That's what I'm going on. All right, moving on. No, I'm just kidding. No, we had a fun. My man Russell left a YouTube comment for you, Si. Well, what was the comment? It's going to take you a minute to wrap your head around this question.

Oh. But would you rather fight a duck the size of Martin or 100 duck. No, 100 Martins the size of a duck. No, no. So 100 tiny Martins. That's very simple. I'll break it down.

It's one against 100. Okay. You don't want to fight the 100. Fight the one big one. Okay. Fight the one big one? The little bit of them? I just think any size duck is better than Martin.

I'm smart. I'll take one duck the size of Martin. And Martin fights dirty, too. We already learned that. Out of that 100, there'd be a lot of them fighting dirty. About 90 of them. There's no such thing as a fair fight, guys. Not anymore.

Really? No, not anymore. Used to in my day when I was a kid. Y'all fought fair. Yeah, we'd fought fair. Because I've heard stories of your nephews and made it not fight fair. There was some sneaky punches going on because I got one in high school. Sneaky punches. We was talking.

I was talking and, hey, he dope-pop me. Yeah. But then, hey, I won that fight because he hit me in the head. And guess what happened? He broke his thumb. You shouldn't have been talking. And then he said, hold it, hold it. And I said, yeah, oh, I'm going to hold it.

All right. Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. Then they had to pull me off of him. Did you pop him like a purple tail wash? Oh, yeah. I popped him a few times like a purple towel. It's like a big, a wash nest. You make me so nervous.

I know. I think you might could take a regular size, Martin. Who would win in a fight? Martin or Cy. In their prime, I'll go with Cy. And it's prime now. And it's a prime. Because I would just shoot him.

Hey, I sneaky punch him. What is a sneaky punch? Show him, sign. Show him. Please, no. Show him. Hey, let me. Look, I'd say, look over y' honor.

You look over like a dummy and I'd punch you. Pistol whip him. All I got to say is you better make it count. Hey, oh, I am. Trust me. At my age, hey, I ain't got but one in me. I got a tough. So I got to make that one.

I got a solid 10. The hospital trip for you. I got a solid 10. I can take a good lick. He can take a good lick, boys. Well, look, hey. Or something that I thought was going to do. I could outrun you, but I can't now.

I don't know what's happening. Outrunning for a minute. No, I couldn't last a minute, too. You could, because I ain't running after you. Well, I think so. I couldn't last to me. I believe in you. All right, here's my favorite question of the day.

We're going to call it the sergeant family emailed in, and their wife and him. I don't know how to say that. They just found out they were having their first kid this year. Well, congratulations. Congratulations. And they're trying to make a list of baby names. Do we know what it is yet?

Are we going to wait? Curious to what Uncle Si thinks the name should be if it were a boy. Uh-oh. So the sergeant family wants you to name their child. Know him the child. Say, give three names and let them choose. No, I think you should just name it. One name?

Just sigh names it. Too much question. Last name, Sergeant. Yep. Yes, sergeant. So you get to just name this child, whatever you want. I'm going to make them agree to just go with this because I feel like I got that power. I just want them to name it.

Whatever comes out of you. Johnny Cash Stone. Easy, son. You ain't Tom Brady. Johnny Cash. Johnny Cash's song just hit me in my mind. Johnny Cash is a boy named Sue? A boy named Sue.

A boy named Sue Sergeant. No, Sue Sargent. No, Sue Sargent. I do like to sue sergeant, but no. Sue if it's a girl. I need more grandfathers. Huh? What's the grandfather's name?

What's the grandfather's? Send me their ancestry.com profile. They just sent me in a movie. Isn't there a very obvious name if their last name is Sergeant? I like big old. I mean, you were in the military. Sergeant First Class, but I mean, hey. Were you a Sergeant?

Yes, I was a Sergeant First Class. I think they should name. child, Silas, Merritt, Sergeant. What have they named it Silas? Silas was not be a bad name, because that was Paul's traveling companion, so it would be a biblical name. Oh, there we go. But if you name the kid that, trust me, if you name him at, he's going to be on the road from now on,

because that's the way I been. My mother named me, she said, it don't seem like a hedgelon. I said, well, it's your own fault. You name me after Paul's Travement's companion, and I've been on the road ever since. there you go Silas Sergeant Silas Staff Sergeant I'm more curious

Now hey That ain't a bad SSS SSSS Silas Sergeant So you just name these people's child Well hey Hey hey

I would say come up with your own name Mr. and Mrs. Sargent Yeah But then they don't have anybody to blame it on Oh you want somebody to blame it on Well hey send it my way baby Send it on Name him Silas

Silas. Just don't name him Willie. That's right. Don't name him Sue either. Please don't name him. How do you do? How do you do? My name is Johnny Cash.

We got a lot of baby questions. And I want to kill you. All right. So Brian, Brian emailed in. He loves the podcast. Well, I appreciate it. He's going to have his first child soon. Well, congratulations.

But it's going to be a girl. Okay. So they know this one's going to be a lady. So they don't want. They do not. want you to name her, but if you got any good ideas, throw it out there. But since he's about to be a father and your daughter turned out way better than you, he wanted some tips on raising a girl.

And that's Brian from Kentucky. He actually didn't say that I did. I just added that one in there myself. Now, I understand she's better looking I am. We don't know what that came from. That's God's good. So he just needs some tips for new father. You got anything?

Raising a girl. Raising a girl. How big of a padlock do you have? Lover like you're dying. Lover like you're dying. Every day, every minute, every hour. Open communication. That's a good one.

Yeah, Phil, you've got, how old's your daughter? She is 18. A lot of open communication. It scares me just thinking about Lottie being 18. She's two. We watch a lot of frozen. It's easy right now. Yeah, you're in the two-stage, two-year-old

Terrific twos. The terrible twos. Terrific. I remember those. Were they good? No, they was terrible. Why do you think they call them terrible twos? I don't know.

But that's all that I got. Martin, you got any bag of the raising? Here's my tips. Yeah, let somebody else have them. No, no, I'm serious. Look, enjoy your children because, hey, they'll be grown and leaving home before you realize it. That's a good one. And it kind of goes with today's Bible verse that is directed directly at Tom Brady.

Matthew 6, 19 through, let's go through 21. Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal. But lay up for yourself treasures in heaven where neither moth nor rust destroys and neither thieves do not break in steel. Didn't say that right. and where thieves do not break in and steal for where your treasure is, your heart is also. Finish it, baby.

Yeah. That's a good one. You can be as good as you want on this earth, but one day nothing that you did here will matter if you don't make it upstairs to the promised land. Thank you. Very good. Appreciate you guys.

We're out. We'll see y'all next Tuesday here on the duck call. Next Tuesday.