Duck Call Room - Uncle Si's Guide to Parenting

Episode Date: March 18, 2021

Si relives the worst whuppings he ever got from his parents and shares the story of why he'll never forget his mama's switch bush. John-David realizes he's missing $1,250, and the culprit is his 7-year-old son. Si gets ready to take a belt to John-David to teach him a little Parenting 101. He also recalls all the butts that got torn up when Phil caught 16-year-old Al and his buddies drinking beer. And the boys delve into Si's free-spirited nudist days, laughing at Si's drill sergeant, Godwin's smoooooth answer to a question about his favorite trophy, Martin's philosophy on child discipline, and whether it's true that "it hurts me worse than it hurts you." ~ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

And we're back with another episode of the Duck Call Room. Look, we appreciate all y'all that called us this Tuesday for our first Tuesday episode. If you missed it, be sure and check out our Tuesday episodes. They can only be found on YouTube.com slash duck call room. That is YouTube. com slash Duck Call Room. While you're there, like, subscribe, comment, let us know what we can do different, better. Anything we're missing that you desire, let us know we are here to serve.

So. That was a fun one. What, the Tuesday? Yeah. It was. You still on a sugar high, ain't you? You dope popped in Rishi Cup. Guarantee.

Oh, Johnny D. He still smuggling. He still got them, boys. He still smuggling. I know where we keep them. That's the one thing, like, I will say about this podcast so far is Duck Dynasty, people send us a lot of stuff, like stuff, but they didn't ever send us racy eggs and major juice. Mr. and Mrs. Teeth and Christmas tree cakes.

Well, this one, this one's a much better model as far as. The fans are smart than you think. They are, yeah. Because they know once you get all this sugar, you'll be on the sugar. It ain't always to tell you what we're going to discuss. We got, I forgot to bring them over here. They sent us some, I can't even think of their name. I don't even know why I brought them up.

But it's deer scent. Deer scent. Deer scent. Yeah, cover scent. Yeah, okay. Like deer pee? Maybe. Hey, you forgot something else too.

They're supposed to smell like other deer. Yeah. You forgot something else, too. There, Godwin. You can have my stash. You need to bring your trumpet, son. My trumpet? Yeah.

Oh, yeah, you do have to bring it. No, I'm talking about the real one. The real one. Smack him, Martin. I like it. He's playing a pretty good duty. Hey, bring your real one. I think you can actually play it pretty good.

We don't even have to, we don't have to pay a license for that. That's a Godwin or Regional. for your imagination. I need a tambourine. Hey, Johnny D. on the Maracas over there. Yeah. Hey, look.

Husty man, I got something to say. Michael Avery's, okay? His dad used to, the first time I met him, they was playing music, you know, they kicked the guitar up and all that, and his dad was over like this. And look, he was making all the sounds of a hymoneca.

Without a. Yeah, and I kept looking. I was trying to see what kind of harmonica he had. Now, all he had to eat like this. He just had a comb in his hand. He didn't have a comb. No, he didn't even have a comb. No.

Hey, he can make every sound that harmonica could make with just his mouth. A harmonica? I can't do. How do you pronounce it? Sion. Sion never been big on them all. Don't pop you. Because a homonica joke, buddy.

Wow. I want to go home with Bruce. And now for the imagination. Oh, Lord of mercy. This is fantastic. And now for something totally different. I thought this would be more difficult having to do two a week, but apparently it's not. We're just going to keep on rolling.

We're just going to keep on rolling. Hey, hey, I heard a rumor. About what? About a child. Uh-oh. We're diving right into this. We're going, oh, okay. No, don't look at me.

I'm not the child. Hey, right, I got a story to tell. Yeah, but it has to do with you. Yeah, I got a story to tell. Okay, well, tell it. Would you like to hear the story? story? Yes, sir.

All right. So yesterday I get to work, Martin's here. I look, I don't even remember what I was doing. I was buying something online for Willie. I'm sure. I grabbed my wallet. And so I'm currently in the process of purchasing a lawnmower from a friend who had a lawnmower business.

He's moving on from that. So I got a smoking deal on a lawnmower. And you got some cash in your pocket? Well, I had some cash in my pocket. Okay. So I look at my wallet and $1,250 is just gone. everything else correct

so you know what that leads to everybody around here has lost money at some point everybody on there's lost money so then he comes in my office and we backtrack his past 24 to 36 hours like where could this be trying to find out where I yeah where could it potentially be he was showing it to somebody and forgot where he put

no Johnny D ain't curly like he ain't pull out no wad of cash and start flashing it I was just I had it to buy a lot of I know, but my first place would have went, okay, is I'd have been him. I'd have been to the wife and say, oh, I accused her first. Okay. Yeah, yeah.

I said, okay, where's the cash there, baby? I said, oh, Allison Doe popped you on that. She saw that in there and said, that's way too much to have. He don't need that. He don't need that much. I said, she ain't spent it. It's at your house, but she took it out of your wallet because she said, well, you can't spend it.

You don't need that much in your wallet. Well, what happened? Where did it? So at this point, I'm panicked. But my, so I have three kids, a seven, he just turned seven, like last week. A little boy that's about to turn five and a two-year-old girl. And my oldest son, he's been really into money since his birthday. Like he got like 20 bucks here, 15 here.

So he's really, so now. Oh, he's had a good birthday. Yeah. So he's got like 60 bucks to go to Target. But he's been collecting change every time he's in the car from the cup holders and go and put in his, he's got a money jar. It counts it. He's got like $9.

and 20 cents in there and just spare change. So I'm like, maybe did he get my wallet and take it out? Because I just have no idea. And then I'm like, did somebody get in my truck and just steal my cash? Because at this point, I'm like, now I'm not going to have a lawnmower. So I'm sad. And so my, but my wife is having a Bible study when I realize this at our house. And our producer, Cole, his wife's there.

And he's sitting over there. And so I'm like, I can't just go barging in my house right now looking for money. and be like, oh, sorry, we're losing $1,000 all the time. Let me find this thing. I'm like, I'm panicked. So I'm just having to sit here and think. And then I'm like, oh, wait, my kids are at home because it's spring break. So I FaceTime their iPad.

And I'm like, please answer. And they don't answer. Try again. And he answers. I'm like, hey, buddy. And Martin hears this. I'm like, hey, listen, real quick. He's like, dad, I was watching YouTube.

I said, I don't care. I said, listen. He's on that YouTube back. I said, listen, right now. I said, did you get in Daddy's wallet? He goes, maybe Lottie did. I'll see you later dad bye baugh

and so at that point I'm like all right I think I know what happened let me give you the direct quote he looked up and he said that little sucker he said and I looked at

and I said oh yeah he did it I said I don't know what he did but he knows where it's at because he threw a little two year old sister under the bus so fast it makes your head spin so his name's Carter and he said yeah Lottie probably did something with it

so then and my middle son's name's Ben so I'm driving home and I call my wife, I'm like, hey, I'm missing all this money. And she goes, now she's mad at me for being irresponsible. I'm like, this is not my fault. I said, well, you look for it while I'm on my way home. I'm flying. And she's like, no, I mean, she goes, well, Lottie probably put in the show,

our daughter's been really into throwing trash away lately. She'll finish me. She's like, maybe it's in the trash can. It's trash day. I said, go out there. She goes, that's your problem. If I lose the money, it's our problem. So she goes out to the trash.

can gets the trash from that day brings it back so then I get home I charge in the house and both boys are sitting there I say Ben's Carter look at me said look at me did anybody touch and only Ben's look at you yeah Ben's conscience is clean I've been there before look at me that's a trap so I think I got Carter pinned up and I said did anybody touch daddy's wallet Ben said no Carter goes I think Lottie did so I Jen and I just honed in. I'm like, all right, you little lion sucker. I said, you ain't going to get past this one. I said,

oh yeah, where did Lottie put it? Do you know? He goes, uh, uh, maybe under, uh, maybe under my money jar. And I'm like, so I said, you take it under your money. So I said, and by the way, she's too. She can't reach that. So then I take him upstairs. I'm like, you show me where it is.

And I go look and I got a money jar. There's $9 in it, but there's $1,200, $50 underneath it. I have a video of the discovery of said money. Oh, yeah. I send it to Martin. So then I'm laughing. But then I'm like, well, my son's stealing in line.

So this is got like, he, he honestly probably thought it was $6. He didn't know how much money he was stolen. I want to get Gobbins reaction. Watch this guy. This is good. Oh, this is good stuff. Uh-oh. There it all was.

There was my lawnmower, just chilling under a few. Well, here's what you need to do. Stand up and bend over, and I'm going to get. give you about two minutes. Oh, no. You don't have to look. I didn't steal the money. Whoa, Sire, put your belt on.

Sire, put your belt on. What are you doing? Why are you going to up here? I'm giving him practicing 101. Oh, no. Oh, you're going to show him what to do? Yeah, I was going to give him what he should have gave Carter. Hey.

Hey, go get me a switch. I hated that. So Carter got his. Go get me a switch. You go get me a switch. Go pick a switch. But then when I find the money. I got a belt on.

Oh, you love this. When I find the money, I said, how did that money get there? And he said, I guess Lottie did it. I was like, this kid's going to die on this hill, isn't he going to go with it? I'm going to have to shit. It's his story. I'm going to have to tell you. And then I said, last chance, buddy.

I said, look at me in the eyes and tell me. And I said, you better not lie. I said, who. Don't do it, Carter. Don't look at me straight in eyes. And he starts, he starts a little shaking and swift. And I hate, you know how it is as a parent. you're just like, I hate doing this, but I have to.

And he's looking at me, and he's, I said, don't lie to me. Who put the money there? And he just points at himself. And I was like, oh, dear, Greene. He had that lip quivered. So then we sat down, he got in trouble. Then he lied to me again last. I told you that story, too, huh?

So then we're pulling up to church. It was a whole fiasco last night with this boy. We're pulling up to church, and he unbuckles his seatbelt. In the road, like the major road before we pull in it, I said, did you unbuckle your seatbelt? He goes, no. so then I pull in the church Lottie did it

No no this one gets better So I pull in the church And just slam on the brakes Break checked him Hey you ain't wearing your seatbelt You're coming in the front seat with me So he says no it's still buckled Well he came flying out

So I said who unbuckled your seatbelt Why would you unbuckled your seatbelt? He goes I didn't do it I said who did it He said A ghost A ghost A ghost with hands I said.

And a phone, man. I said, okay. So now you're just lying all the time. He goes, no, no, no. It wasn't because it was Ben's like, uh-uh, I didn't do it. I said. So I said, I was just, I'm in the middle of like the street slash parking lot. I get out of the car and grab him.

I'm like, we're going to stop. And I, the problem was, I was like, I'm about to just whip this kid in the oblivion and then send him off to Bible class. So I just got him and gave him a real good talking. Then he went to Bible class, learned about Jonah running from the Lord. So hopefully that helped. And then we have. And then we had a real good talk last night. So I think we might have broken the line.

But, hey, it was a day of parenting yesterday. And, hey, good news. I'm going to get a lawnmower this weekend because I found my money. He got the money, boys. He's going to get a lawnmower. All right. Well, we may dive a little further into that when we come back. Let's take our first break.

First break. First break. All right, look, springtime is here. It's warming up. You know what that means? That means more outside cooking. And y'all know. We love to eat beef around here.

And that's what because of our friends over at Tritels Beef makes such a good product, baby. Ain't it good? It's so good. Our friend, Sao Robertson would say, buy on the grill! Look, before we got Tritels, getting ready for a cookout, man, somebody had to run the grocery store, do all the things, grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day. And you never really know where that beef comes to them. But with Tritale's beef, we skip the grocery store and do it a different way. Tritels comes from a family ranch out in Texas.

They're a fifth generation American ranch, so they've been at it for a while. Now, look, the beef comes straight from their ranch and other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way. Their steaks are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door. We threw a couple of ribbys on the grill. Look, salt, pepper, garlic, hot fire, that's all you need. Look, because I tell you what, when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living, you can taste the difference. The tenderness and the flavor are fantastic.

So if you're stocking the freezer for grilling, season. Go check out Triedails Beef. I know in size case Christine loves it, which is just a she doesn't eat meat. She isn't a big meat easier, folks. Yeah. Just go to trybeef.com slash That's trybeef.com slash support ranch families and eat some dang good steak.

What do you go? Oh! Oh, wow. And we're back. Good, great. Whoa, we were almost. Hey, hold him down. Hold him down.

He's fixing a leaves. We got no teeth. He'd gone. We were almost back from break. Oh, we're back. Good. Three. So I said roll with it.

Next one. He's got a swatter. So I'm going to cut you off. You've been drinking too much. Yeah. The bartender cut him off. Yeah, the tea's got too tough, boys. So look, here's my deal.

So we've heard the story of Young Carter. Young Carter. Boy, was about to buy more Legos than any kid in town. Hey, here's where I'll say that you're on the right track. He's not a smart. thief. Yeah, that's a good thing. Because a smart thief would have clipped you for a hundred at a time and you'd have never

known it. You'd have gotten your wallet. It'd have been 1150. You'd say, dang, I'm going to spend a hundred. Oh, and then you'd have justified it. You've been like, oh, yeah, I did go to. Did I buy them scratch? Wherever.

Yeah. Oh, I bought a tank of gas. You know, whatever. Like, you'd have been like, I'd just go get another hundred. Ain't no big deal. Like, but when 1250 go missing, there's a big red flag. There's a big red flag and a mild sweat that breaks out over 1250. That's a, it's a, you know.

And then you were messing with me the whole time. Oh, of course. He walked past my office. I was playing devil's admon. I said, didn't you go to that surge place yesterday? Oh, yeah. Somebody probably sucked you. Isn't parenting fun?

I wasn't a good time. I don't like the discipline. That's the point I want to get to with parenting. Here's what I know to be true. I'm not a parent, so just hear me out on this. Here's what I know to be true. Carter lying and I hate to call this stealing because he had been getting changed. It's not to him, it's just, he has no idea that that's $1,250.

I'm just trying to. That's money that he wants to put in his jar, which is fine. Like, that's totally cool. $1.50 is a good haul, though. But he went in debt. Well, but dad has set a precedent of just giving him the change out of the cup holders. But not out of his bill. Well, that's dad's money.

It doesn't matter. He lets me have it. That's not a, I'm not, we'll get to that point. I'm not calling you a bad parent or anything. I know that. The whole thing is, this is a learning experience for both of you. Oh yeah.

But I know that John David and Allison are both extremely honest humans, like brutally honest. John David's so honest, a lot of people don't like it because of it. Let's just be honest about that. And the same can be said for me. Same can be said for you. Same be said for God. And when you start hitting people with honesty, they, they tend to say,

boy that guy's kind of a hayhole or something you know uh-oh or butt hole whatever you want to call but i'm just saying that's the a lot of times that's the rap you get when you're honest with people so this kid is raised by two people that i know to be honest and yet he is finding a way of deception so my question is that deception born into us as humans or is it a learned behavior is a learned Learn behavior. So a kid that's raised by two honest people, where does he learn the deception? YouTube. No, no.

Hi, this is, this, when he was telling the story, I was going back to my childhood with my mother. This is, uh, it's learned, and he probably got it from his peers. But mama, okay, the reason, raising, it wouldn't send me back to my childhood is he brought up the lying. Okay. My mother, if you lied to her, you feel get hurt. Okay, and look, and like you said, being honest, they raised me from infancy, okay, to be honest. I went to the military and, hey, honesty got me in more trouble. If I had just told a little white lie, but, uh-uh, no, I don't have been through this.

Look, and everybody says God has not got any sense of humor. Oh, I beg to different with you. Okay. because my mama in our yard, it was a bush, and guess what it grew? Switches. The best switches that ever were grown. Don't get them little bitty flex. Oh, no, and look, Mama added injury, okay, insult to injury and everything else

and put everything else on top of it because, hey, young man, since you did that, go out there and pick me a switch. Oh, boy, that's the worst, ain't it? Oh, no, look, and I got to the age where, you know, I know it all. So I go out there and I grab it before I break it off and I do it like this. I said, okay. You have a little test run. No, no, yeah.

I said, okay, that'll break after the third, fourth, maybe fifth lick. I said, and I'll be good to go. Take it. She about five legs broke it. She said, young man, go back and give me another one. Run it back. And she said, and guess what? We may be here all day because if it breaks, we're going to pick that bush down.

to the ground. Look, she whooped me for three months with that switch. Look, it broke and hey, she cried. She said, oh, my goodness, that was such a good one.

Hey. Oh, man. It was hallelujah time for me because it broke. Oh, been there. Hey. Yeah. Mamma had one of them bushes in her yard.

Mamma had one too. It had them switch limbs it would like wrap around your leg. Like, wouldn't just go across your bottom. Don't think like a regulation whip. It gets you this way and then it sneak through the back door

and get you on the inside of that thigh. You know, that little tender meat right there on the inside of your thigh. That little one won't hurt is bad. Oh, wrong. That thing leave a wealth to size of that cup on the bottom of your leg. I don't think I've ever got a switch. What? I only got belts.

My dad. He was lucky. I guess so. A belt wide. See, but I was... Them wraparounds, he's done my thing. Why? I was dumb as a kid, too, because my dad,

my dad would say, go get a belt, meet me in your room. So I'd have to go to my dad's closet. Get a belt. And get a belt. And I always picked out the one with the smallest buckle. I don't know why, because I was like, he ain't hit me with the buckle, but I just wasn't that smart of a kid. And so then I'd end up with, like, the small belt.

That was dumb. I picked the big, thick one. Less for wind resistance, buddy. It's coming faster. You need got plenty of belts in my... You need that big one to spread that surface area out. You know what? You know what I use?

Wood and spoons from the kitchen. Go get a wooden spoon. Why do parents make them go get it? I just do it because my dad made it. Because it's a walk of shame, son. Time to think about it. The loneliest place in my childhood was the march from Memo's back door to that switch tree. That was the loneliest walk in America.

The one back had to be sad. He didn't come right. Oh, the one back you knew what was coming. But the one there, you felt like, well, if I zig five yards this way, I zig back five yards that way, you can take your time. But once you made that commitment of breaking the switch, you know, I got to go get this over. Like, this is about to be brutal.

And you know it's weird, too? Show enough, it was brute. I mean, it wasn't brutal. Look, I say this right now. There's a lot of people that probably can't be honest with themselves. I deserved every weapon I got. Every last one of them. And there's a few that I deserved that I didn't get.

But every one that I got, I was not unfairly worked. I say I got one. I ain't doing it just to do it. I got one questionable one. But I deserve plenty more than I got. Oh, no, no, no, like him. Like him, okay. I got one, me and my sister, okay.

Daddy's working graveyard, which is 12 o'clock midnight till 7 in the morning. He comes home and gets in bed. Well, for three hours me and my sister are fighting. Well, he can't. Look, dad can't. sleep. Okay, so he, Mama said he's been walking around in his underwear

looking for a belt for three hours. And, hey, we come by him like two cats, you know, well, he grabbed the New York State Handy, okay. Hey, 12-foot extension cord. Okay, and look, I went back to the old West days when they took a bullwhip to you. Okay, because, hey, I'm bleeding, okay, and so was my sister and my mama.

Oh, boy. You know, oh yeah. That plug got you, didn't it? Oh, no, no, yeah. And like Martin said, tell me, I said, and all day we would say when we'd get to talk in at reunions. That was 14. That's when I got it.

That's the last one I got. He said, did you deserve it? I said, hey, I deserve to be whipped for disobeying you and keeping you up. But I didn't deserve child abuse. And then you got a nun. Oh, no, no, no. You know, all he would do, he'd start laughing, okay? When he laughed, you didn't laugh out loud, he just shook all over.

Because if you, well, if you asked him, he didn't mean to do that to you, but that was the first thing. I hate my hand. Well, no, no, because he was too rare. I hate to do this, too mad. No, no, he was too mad. I do it. I remember that.

My dad would always say, it's going to hurt me. It's going to hurt me. And then he would tell me one day you'll understand, and I was like, bull crap. Yesterday you understood, didn't you? And I'm telling you. Oh, well, before you, that kid's been whooped plenty of life. Oh, I know. But it is just, when you realize, like, oh, crud, like, go get a spoon or a belt or a sweat.

And you're just like, I don't want to do this. And then, but Carter, he a lot like me. Like, once you do it, he'll snuggle up to you and love on you. But it's, it is tough, man. You don't like doing it. But you know you got to. Well, you got to discipline your children. Otherwise.

Spare to ride. That's for real. Otherwise, $12.50 from you because you better do this okay, before they get in the teenage years. Early and often. But here's another thing. Look, folks, I'm telling you, if they get

12, 13 and you hadn't been disciplined them up to then. Even an extension court ain't going to work, is it? No. Hey, nothing you can do will do anything will do any good, okay. It's because you love them though. Well, no, no, because that's why you discipline, okay?

Oh, for sure. And they, I mean, some kids, too, I mean, I've talked to several, you know, older people that's, you know, my dad, they didn't care what I did. And made them go down the wrong road just. Well, no, no, because here's the thing. Yeah, here's the thing. If you don't have boundaries, okay, this is for kids or adults. Yeah. Okay.

You've got to have boundaries. Not in respect. Yeah. You got to have them. Okay. Otherwise, you know, if you don't, you're just going to do whatever you feel like doing. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Well, hey, other, there are consequences for every action there is. That it is. Yeah. For every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction. Oh, reaction. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. So, hey, if you don't, if you don't. If you don't discipline your children, I'm just saying it. You don't love them. Amen. I can go with that. Well, here's what you can rest us here tonight.

My parents really love me. And so did my grandparents. No, no, look. They really love me. No, no, look, this is the 60s, okay. Not only did both of my parents really love me, but, hey, in our neighborhood, my neighbor's, really love me.

Amen. Because, hey, if you acted up in the neighborhood and they saw you, you fix to get your butt whooped not once. The neighbor's going to whip you, and then he's going to call dad, and then when you get home, dad's going to put it on you. I never forget that it will go

to break. Mom, we went to Astro World. Do you remember that? Astro World. Down there. Sixthagling? Yeah. I think it was legit. Jolene, Martin, probably the only person that went to Astro World and bought an Astro World paddle. paddle.

Not a boat paddle. A paddle. I know. Did it have holes? It had one hole on the end of it that would leave a perfect white ring on your butt cheek. Don't ask me how I know. That's old paddles at Astro World? Guaranteed.

Guaranteed to leave a ring on your behind. With a leather strap around the handle so it didn't slip. Yes, sir. Guarantee. That happened. From Astro World. Astro World. I hate the Astros.

Never liked them at all. Astro World closed, so you're going to have to go to Texas. And he's got good reason too, boys. All right, let's take a break. We'll be back. That's good stuff. All right, well, we're back. Look, while we were at break,

Sae brought up a pretty good point that he wants to get to. So we're going to. Yeah. Hey, we're back. No, no. Nah, no. Yeah. Not all.

No, no. Hey. Hey, I wanted to tell you what I go. But look, I think he was 16. Okay, and he's got a bunch of buddies, and they go to a camp on the river, Walshaw River, okay? And somehow, mysteriously, you know, a couple six-pack of beer show up. Lottie did it.

You know? Yeah, it was a ghost. Yeah. A ghost, I tell you about it. Yeah, a ghost brought it, you know, but anyway, you know, these, Al and his friends, you know, get a little high off of beer, okay? So some neighbor either heard them or saw them, went to Field Kay's house and said,

well, your boy is down there, you know, drinking beer, and they all getting drunk and getting rowdy. So Phil gets in his truck, goes down there and says, you get to the house. And then he turns to all the house friends and says, he's fixing to get his butt tore out. and he said if you're going to ever come his house again by house come on down and get yours too okay now this is a bearded guy that looks like uh he on like a grizzly bearer okay when owl was 16

yeah no no no no no no yeah oh yeah phil would be what you would call in his prime oh yeah and i'm scared of him at this point but i'm just saying he's got a big old bearded you know Here's a bearded guy telling you, okay, hey. Come to my house. I'm fixing to whoop your tail. Not to interrupt you on that part, but me and I wouldn't have been friends no more. I'd have said, all right, bro, we'll see you.

No, no. Hey, that's what got me. I told Al this after we got gone on you. Because, hey, to the man, and look, there was one kid that he had just come aboard. He was visited from somewhere. Look, they all show up. Oh, Lord. Okay, look.

can line up and feel says bend over that white car there. And look, I'm talking about, hey, he was mad because, hey, he used to drink. And that was when he returned to the Lord or came to know Jesus. That was one thing you didn't do. Zero tolerance. Zero tolerance on drinking. Yeah. So, hey, he told him out to bend over and, hey, he got, I mean, this belt was whistling to the air.

Yeah, see, I think I would have signed up to go first before he got good and loose. Oh, no. If you was about number four, all their muscles was going to be a full. No, no. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they numbered up. But anyway, he whoop out his butt told him, he can't get away from me.

I don't want him to see you. Next, you know, whooped 10, you know, Eppernet was one of them, Greg Eppernet. Oh, yeah. Tor him up, he left, and then I don't remember those of them. I'm sure W.E. was that. That W.E. was one of them. Greg Eponet.

Yep. He said, I don't know who you are, but tell your daddy, I whooped your butt. No. That was the other guy. Okay. The last one to do it, and he's warm now. He said,

I have no idea who you are, but bian, baya, baya, you tell your daddy that I whoop your tail? And if you ever do it again, I'll whoop you again. Wow. But I told Al, I said, Al, I'm impressed by one thing.

I said, hey, if that would have been me, you just lost somebody for a free. because I ain't coming down there and getting my butt to work. No, I'd have never been seen at the end of mouth of Cypress Road in my life. Yeah. No, we'd have settled that score. Oh, yeah. I do find it funny now how that you look back on stuff.

And why them weapons was taking place, they wasn't a thing in the world funny about them. No. But now when you look back on them, after you've survived them and learned your lesson from them, you can't help but laugh about it. Even now, he said, it wasn't funny at the time. He said, but now it's really hilarious. Oh, it is funny.

And I said, well, hey, you have got some good friends, my man. Guaranteed. Look, I'll tell you, a good one that we had growing up, dad told us, he said, don't y'all, don't y'all play with them fireworks. It's dry, drought, you know. Oh, yeah. Don't you play with them fireworks? Yes, sir, no problem.

Well, there goes my brother. What's he got? A cigarette lighter and a firework. Bonds, throw it out there in the woods. Here come the fire department. I mean, that's where we at. Like, we tried our heart. There's work, work, work, work, put that fire out, not fire department.

Dad got off work out there at the mill, and I saw him coming. I said, oh, boy, I'm just going to stand here. I said, I'm just going to stand here and be real still. I was hoping he wouldn't see me, you know. Well, my brother, who's six years older than me, decided he would bolt. That was not a good look. Yeah, bad move. Because with every step dad took, he got matter and matter and matter.

And when he called him, I said, oh, Lord, that's all of it. I'm about to be an only child here. And then so I'm still standing there. I ain't doing that. I kind of, you know, got a little giggle on my face, a little grin, because, you know, you're watching your brother get his buttwool up. That's kind of fun. It's funny.

You ain't involved in it yet. And then we made eye contact, me and dad, and he saw that grin. He said, oh, I'm coming for you now. He said, just in case you ever think you want to do something like that. I figured out right then and there from the witness. Yeah. And the experience, I didn't want to do that. Don't run from your daddy or your mama or whoever's after you.

Because it just gets worse with every step they get. And just like Phil, they get limbered up from running. All their muscles get loose. That blood flow is going. The worst one I ever got was the last one I ever got from my mom. Oh, Big Jan got you? She got me. Oh, okay.

And my mom, about five, four. That's why it's funny to call her Big Jan. five, four, 110 pounds soaking wet. Well, at this point in life, it didn't hurt. Yeah. And I just started laughing. Oh, bad deal. Like a dummy.

No. You like me in basic training. Yeah. So she's, it's in the church parking lot. She's just wearing me out. And she did the whole, I told you not to do that you embarrass me in front of the church. And I'm just, I just start giggling. I'm like, and my sister starts laughing because she can tell it doesn't hurt.

And then she said, fine, doesn't hurt. We'll just tell dad. And I was like, oh, okay. That's all of it. So then we're drunk. So then dad's like, all right, we'll talk when we get home, which is the worst. And so then, you know, I made my peace with the Lord. It's build up time.

Yeah, that's bad. Oh, yeah. So, you know, you say your prayers on the way home. You get ready. You're prepared for judgment day. It's coming. And then you get home. Dad says, get a belt from my closet.

Me in your room. and I'm like, here we go again. Oh, man. And he, well, he got me good that time. But you didn't get no more real good. There you go. Oh, no, no, no. That was the last one from my mom.

Oh, from your mom. Oh. And then another one I found. Dad wasn't done you. The other worst one I got, December 31st, 1999. 999. What were you? Oh, he remember.

Yeah, I was 10. Yeah. New Year's Eve party at somebody's house. I don't remember who. Got drunk? No. No, I'm kidding. I was tired.

No, it was a whole family. party everybody's having fun some some certain kids were warned to stay away from the swimming pool you might fall in and it's going to be really cold oh you push somebody no i fell in we were playing football and i jumped up to catch it and just went in the water that gum lott she threw that ball too i felt like god went i went in that water i went yeah that's what and then i got out of that water and i realized I have to go tell my parents that I'm soaking wet and that Y2K's about to happen. This is not going to be good. And so we were like 20 minutes from the house.

And my mom and my sister stayed at the party and my dad drove me all the way home just in silence. And I was like this is it. Go get me a belt. And then, well, but I was soaking wet. So I, you know, take off all your clothes. Dimpai, ow. Then, yeah. Oh, you're naked.

You didn't even get the bed of underwear. I might have some underwear. Oh, it was a rough, Ford deal. Well, let's squeeze in another break here because I want to hear about what Sy alluded to there when he says sound like me in basic training. We'll get on that when we get back. I'd like to hear some sigh punishments. It was punishment all right. The picture I got to paint is the good part. Oh, good. You're an artist.

Go ahead and paint it. Well, you know my granddaddy was a sergeant in Vietnam. Uh-oh. That's true. And he used to, he used to. Is he still alive? No, he's not. But he, uh, whenever my dad would wash his car after he got back from Vietnam, he would take a white glove. And if there was any dirt anywhere, they had to redo it and they'd get whooped.

Hmm. You better, you better stick, you better keep that white glove away from my truck because it ain't going to be white anymore. There's some tough people from back then. They still are tough. That's why they still with us. Anyway. But, Cy, you alluded to a good story of sound.

like you in basic training. I need to know. Where are you at? Here you go. All right. First two weeks, we had one drill sergeant. He's a pretty cool guy, you know. He's built like me, okay, not, you know.

A wormy fella, so. Yeah. So, hey, he had trouble at home with his wife. She was pregnant and he was having trouble, you know, the child was, and mom was. So he had to take care of business. So he leaves. We're waiting for the new drill sergeant to show up, okay?

I think it's Saturday. It may have been Sunday. But we see a taxi coming down toward the barracks that we're in on Fort Benning, Georgia. And one side of it, the taxi is like this. Folks, for those of you, they can't see. He's got a very significant cant to one side of that taxi. No, no, no, it's a severe cant that, hey, there is a severe cant that, hey, there is, sparks flying off of the bottom of the car.

Dragging the ground. It looked like he's got a big grinder going. Okay, and we're watching. So there's a little fella in there. No, no, no, no. I'm saying, I'm saying, what in the world's wrong with that taxi? Yeah, that dumb shocks don't want out of us up.

Yeah, well, unfortunately, it pulls up right there next to our building. And it takes him about five minutes to get out of it. Okay, and he's in your room. uniform, okay, and he's got a smoky the bear hat on, okay? And you start looking for him? Oh, no, no, no, look. I can take a bath in his smoky the bear hat. Okay, this guy is 6-6-475 pounds. Okay, and look, there ain't no fat there, okay? He's a mountain of a man. Oh, no, no, he is a man. Trust me. Okay, so look, that was a man.

week two, okay? So we got, what, four more weeks with this new guy, okay? You got to understand something. On Fort Benning, Georgia, it's an airborne post. There is no walking. You run everywhere you go.

Well, I weighed 130 back then, okay? Soaking with it with clothes on. Okay, this guy is about 475, okay? So he's running. Well, hey, My hat is off to this, you know, giant of a man. Okay, and look, behind his back, oh, okay, we call him Big Oaf. Big Oaf.

Oh, yeah, you wouldn't dare say it to his face. But anyway, behind his back, we're whispering, man, I wonder what Big Oaf is going to do to us today. So anyway, it's graduation time. I'm in Dressed Greens. He had a bad habit. He liked me or something. or just one of them deals. Anyway, he was always in my face.

Okay, and I mean nose to nose. He would put his nose on mine. Drill sort of the only thing they'd call you was maggots. So he got in my face. So Big Oaf versus the maggot. Big Oaf got in my face. I got dressed greens on and he said something. And I'm like, J.D.

That's stupid. I'm laughing. Okay, and the first two words out of it about to drop, yo, maggot. That means you think you do some push-up, about 50 of them. So, hey, I was in great shape, okay? We've been, you know, for eight weeks running. So, hey, I'm in great shape, so I've knocked that 50 and jump back up. Well, here he comes.

He's nose to nose again. He says something else. I bustle out laughing. It took me, I ain't too bright. It took me 350 push-ups. before I learn when you get back up no matter what big O does

do not start laughing or grinning you idiot because you're going to be here all day seven times on graduation day you had to just drop down and give him 50 50. Oh no 50 yeah God

no no and what I first told him was when he told me to drop I said Sarge I'm in dress greens you know I'm not going to he said you're not going to what? He said you're not going to what? said you better get down maggot yeah i guess i'm getting down then sorry yeah okay i'm down okay okay don't rake all that you know yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you look terrible son so do we want to add

that to your list of things not to do that you're telling everybody don't know don't laugh in a drill sergeant's face especially that's one of them big that's one of them hey this is something you do not do a big oaf if you're still with us i'd love to have you Do you know Big Oath's name? No, but I can guarantee you. Sergeant Oliver. Sergeant Oliver. Do you know his first name?

No. I will search. No. I will spend the next week of my life. Then what? When did I go in? 1967, 68? No.

67. It's when I was drafted. The funny thing is, is I would guarantee you that Big Oaf is a lot like your parents. Y'all thought, y'all were calling him Big Oaf, and he didn't know, but he knew.

Oh, he knew. Yeah, he knew. Yeah. And liked it. Yeah. And just, because he woke up in the morning, and I guarantee you he said to himself, what is Big Oaf going to do to them the day? That's exactly what he said. Oh, no, he probably did.

He probably did. Because he probably heard me say it, and that's the reason he always chose me to do something with. Oh, that's fantastic. Oh, that's good. But, hey, I had nothing but respect for that man, okay? Well, yeah, I mean, how could you not? Carrying, 475 pounds. Okay, and we run everywhere we went.

And trust me, we run long distances. Well, let me just tell you one thing, too. I got nothing but respect for all you boys that served and are still serving. Because that still goes on to this day. Y'all the toughest humans on this planet, as far as I'm concerned. So let's take one more break, and we'll shut this thing down. We'll take some emails and we'll hit it with a Bible verse. be back right after this.

All right, we're back. And for probably one of the more enjoyable parts of the podcast, we're going to go to the inbox of the emails. For all the y'all that have sent us emails at hello at duckcallroom.com, that's hello at duck callroom.com. Keep sending them in. We enjoy reading them. We try to read as many as we can.

We are human. We don't get to all of them, but we do read a good media. We're picking to read some right now. So Johnny D, what you got for us? Hopefully a good question. question for God. Uh-oh. Sorry, I just got a new one from Becca who sent all the stuff last time.

She just emailed us again, making sure she's from the great state of West Virginia, and she also, the Bloody Mary Mix is in the fridge writer for you. Yeah. And she saw it on my Instagram. So Becca, we appreciate that. Oh, dear. Kelly, also, Kelly was the one who said, we didn't get to thank Kelly properly. Oh, okay.

Kelly sent the 72 cans. The flats. Oh, okay. Of Mr. and Mrs. Tees to you. And I said, I respond. I said, Kelly, thanks so much. Pretty sure. Cy drank all of them already.

And she said, well, let side know, like, that's okay, but that maybe half a case a week might be a little too much. Si gets all these cool presents. Oh, yeah. And I get an old boy sent me one on Instagram. He sent me a fake spider. It's a fakes spider. It's awesome. but it's a spider.

So I got a plan for that. We'll bring him back because I'm going to put him various places around my house and watch my wife scream. I'm going to video because she hates a spider. So if anybody wants to send them Z-Man jackhammers to me and God, then that'll be much appreciated. They're only $17 a pop. No, I'm kidding.

That's just a joke. Unless you're listening to this Z-Man, that'd be awesome. Yeah. All right. Next question. Mainly, we got a lot of questions for Cy today. I'm going to try to roll through a couple. Let's go, Sy.

So Dina has a nine-year-old son named Levi, and Levi wants to know if sweet pee, the cat, is a lot like Garfield, and how much does he weigh? No, he's worse than Garfield. Look, if he was a human being, he would have every doctor there he is. Okay, because the boy is schizophrenic. You know, he's got more issues than any human I know.

Okay, and he weighs about, he did, he was up to 40, okay, and my wife took him to the vet for a checkup, and the first thing they did is they put him on a diet. So he's at, he's at about 25 now. Hey, he was so big when he was at 40. Your cat lost 15 pounds. No, no, hey, look. And it's still a giant. No, no, look, I had to push him, okay, to put him in his cat carrying case.

I had to push in on the sides of him to actually get him through the door. And put a little butter on too. Oh, no, no, no, I'm serious. I had to mash him in, you know. So, look, my question for you, I think everybody's got a note. Did he have to come out in reverse? Oh, no, no, no. He was able to turn around and in the same way to come out.

No, no. Hey, he may have come out just the same way he went in. I had to actually back him in there. Okay. Hey, I was lucky he didn't bite me because I had to push pretty hard on the side of his, you know. You've got to get a new cap, man. To get him in. Oh, he's got him on a dot.

He's on a dot. All right, next question's from Leo. And I do have to say, every time, like, you don't see somebody from the show, doesn't mean that they've passed away. Yeah. Just because we haven't seen Mountain Man in a minute. Oh, yeah. Doesn't mean he's dead.

So they ask, is Mountain Man still alive? Oh, yeah. And we get all sorts of emails asking for Mountain Man to come on our show. Mountain Man's got his own show. Yeah, Mountain Man's got his own radio show. And look, we try to keep this thing less than an hour. And if we bring Mountain Man in, we're here for, it's going to have to be a three-part series because it's going to be at least three hours.

Yeah. What were you going to say, Simon? Hey, Mountain Man is like a tube of toothpaste that you're down to the last little bit in there and you take your toothbrush, the other end of it, and you squeeze, it up right so tight. When Mountain Man's talked, I want to grab him by the throat and force words out of

him. Okay? Just ain't coming quick enough. Because, hey, me and Philip was at church and was in Phillips' car and Alicia was in there with us. Mount Man walks up and he's got

I think some teal in his hands that Jace gave him, you know? Blamey. Man said, Mount Man walks, hey man, look what Chase gave you, you know? and Mount Man said it that fast?

No, he ain't said it. No, no, he ain't said to face, but anyway, he's telling Philip about it, okay? Philip just rolls what's up, dries off. Well, about that time, Alicia slats Philip Trump, but you're so rude. And he said, hey, girl, listen, I ain't got time to listen to it. It'd take him another hour to tell us what just about them two ducks he's got in his hand. 100%.

He's a slow talker, but we love Mountain Man. Oh, love him to do that. That's where he's is. Good is gold. You're wondering about where is, Mountain Man. Good as gold. He's alive and well, folks.

But brevity is not his strong suit. Brevity is not it. All right. And then Nathan sent like a question for every single one of us. All right. And I really got a hammer on this one. It's been documented that you didn't wear clothes as a kid? Is that true? Look, according to the field.

I have not seen these documents. According to Phil, I didn't put on clothes until I was 14. What's coincides with the last one. up and he got from that electrical cord. Yes, right. But that's a little overstated. Look, when I was young. The question is why and also.

Because I'm a free spirit. He's a free spirit. But you know what he found at age 14? Tommy John. Thank you. Pajama shorts. Tommy John. Oh, that's good.

So you finally did put clothes on. Well, I have to. Yeah, that's true. Well, I had to when he started. Yes, society forced me to push clothes on. But you legitimately just didn't wear a lot of clothes. I was a free spirit. I told you.

Did you wear underwear? I failed the tryouts for naked and afraid. That's right. He wanted to go out. I tried it out for it, though. Day one. Cancelled. He's out.

Nathan also asked Godwin. You've been in rodeos, races. What trophy are you most proud of? Trophy. Did you win any bull riding trophies? Racing trophies? I won a rodeo. What's your favorite trophy you've ever won?

From anything. He won a big trophy at a crappy tournament, too. Yeah, fishing. You won a few things in your day. What's your favorite win? He likes them all. My woman's my favorite trophy. Oh, good answer.

My man. Hey, he's a jack of all trades, boys. She is a trophy. If you look. And I would argue that you're her greatest trophy. I hope. You're a fine figure of a me. man.

Hey, old goblin's like that old Hey, look at it. I was, Gobblins like that old Ardell dog. He ain't near his dumb. He looks for us. Hey, that was a good thing about that. Hey, my woman's my best deal.

Yeah, guarantee. What you got? Martin, what's the biggest fish you've, oh, no, no, no, not fish, bass. Biggest bass I've ever caught. Like 11.12. Where? That's a good one.

And a pond off of a harold road. Yeah. On a tiny torpedo. And a pond of Harold road. That is one of my. favorite bag what color what color baby baby bass the one with a white belly that's got green on his side and a little black strike show enough big and when he ate that thing he's 11 pounds you think godly what a blow up no he come up behind it before you bloop oh no and I said yeah I've seen

and I got to about right there I didn't get here I got about right there I said uh-oh and then I got that thing I mean if you don't know what a tiny torpedo is it's about what maybe two inches long maybe long maybe long may I don't think it's bad. With like number four. With like number four treble hooks. A little small treble hooks. I don't know.

It was just a good lord. I wasn't supposed to catch that fish. Well, you must have bought that at the honey hall. Shame and pluto. No, no. The best color, okay, is the sun perch. What's the word of?

Fire tiger? Electric chicken. Is that the one you're looking for? The green and orange and orange. Well, orange, yeah. Red. Yeah, it's that fire tiger. What's your question?

Ah, boy. here we go. All these other guys paid their dues. This one's going to get hot and heavy quick. They're going to be mad at me. What dues have you paid? None. He ain't paid nothing.

Not nothing. He ain't paid nothing. I came around at a little bit different of a time. Yeah. We weren't all down at filling K's. Yeah, shut up. Times were nice. We don't even want to hear about it.

Martin, well. He's a child of different times. I don't even want you tell this story because I don't want to get mad at you. Martin's about to be mad. The guy one is too. I worked in the. store for a long time. Those are the dues I paid. Yeah, he's a clerk. Good job.

Okay, so everybody's thing, everybody's initiation once you were kind of in at Duck Commander was we got a shot show every year. And your first year, you were the guy that had to drive, right? No man on the tow the pole. Yeah. Low man on the

telephone pole. You're an assistant to the boss. Hey, look, don't defend him. Hold on. No, time out. Time out. I got to defend the man. But hold on. He's assistant to the boss to the boss how did you get to shot show how did you my first truck my first shot show I jumped in a box truck with a bench seat in duck commander's parking lot here at 117 Kings Lane westman Louisiana said one too and I got in there with a buddy Jordan Summitt everybody knows him

little Frodo what day he saw he drove so you know that ain't gonna be too bad right as we're going to leave willie throw some generic extra in with us who called himself spikes three men driving shoulder to shoulder from here to Las Vegas in a box truck. That was my first shot show. Now tell me how you got there? In a box truck? In a box truck. I'm moving truck.

It's just got a bench seat in the front and a big box on the back. So yeah, I went to a shot show my first year and that's the whole story. Yeah, how did you get there? So I had to fly with Willie. Did you? Where did you fly in the plane? By the bathroom? The front bathroom.

Yeah. Oh, okay. I think it was 3B or something like that. How did you get home? How did you come back? Did you fly in that same airplane? Yeah, it was a plane. Yeah.

It was a plane. Just me and Willie Wood. Yeah. Yeah, you drove out to an FBO, jumped on a plane and said, I'll see you. So, Nathan, my dues were a little different. I came. I'm the luckiest man.

I appreciate you bringing up old wounds there, Nathan, because now I'm mad at him all over again. Look, you better have a good verse because now I'm making. Some people skip the dues. Don't go to sleep. Do not seek the treasure. I have a good first for us to make Martin cool out. So we're going to.

So yeah, my dues were different. For sure, for sure. You ain't paid your dues, dummy. Okay. So I went from defending you to throw it under the bus. I'm the luckiest man alive besides Willie's, and I'm fine with it. All right, so I got a whole chapter today, but we're only going to read a couple verses out of it.

Psalms 127. the Lord builds the house, the builder labors in vain, unless the Lord watches over the city, the guard stands watch in vain, skip down a little ways. Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring, a reward from him. This whole chapter is kind of about, you know, what we talked about, kids. Building it on the Lord. Building it on the Lord. Your children are a heritage from the Lord, so raise them up and build your house on the Lord,

and you will be blessed. There's many verses about that. And they will not depart from him. That's another one. Psalms 1 27, go check it out, read it. You will be blessed. And bless all of you parents out there, just fighting through it. We can't wait to see you Tuesday.

Yeah, we'll be back next week. See y'all. We'll see y'all again next Tuesday, boys. We go. We go.