Duck Call Room - Uncle Si’s Highly Unusual Home Upgrade Makes the News

Episode Date: August 29, 2024

Uncle Si’s home recently got a loud, patriotic makeover that made the headlines and the haters came out of the woodwork, of course! Martin’s twins stop in to say hello and his wife, Brittany, confesses that his potential as a father warmed her heart early in their relationship. John-David puts another shoplifter on blast, but this time there’s no way he wants the merch back after where it’s been. Si contemplates how he’d do as a president, unloads on a proposed new tax, and thinks a redo of the Boston Tea Party is right up his alley! - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Somebody's knocking on the door. Come on in. Come on. It's my buddy. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey, hey, hey, he is.

What are y'all doing already up here? It's your birthday. Shouldn't you be asleep, bud? No. No, I ain't on sleep. Come here, bud. We've got two Tiny Martins in the building for Martin's birthday today. Although, calling him Tiny is a stretch.

You carried them both. Brittany carried them both in here. We got ears, come on. We got ears. And no, they're not coming here. No, not that. He's a hater.

They just can't be trusted on the part of a lot. Hey, bud. So it's Martin, how old are you? I feel a lot older than I am with these two. Oh, my goodness. Oh, goodness. Brother ruined it all. Oh, my goodness.

Ladies and gentlemen, the one that was sitting there. in Martin's lap was fine and then the other one came and now he's mad he got duck and yellow lion there it is was duck their first word

it might have been it was in the top 10 was it in the top 10 it actually was yeah it's pretty cool that's what my kids called gawin when they were little they called him duck duck and paco are they still call her paco yeah they still call her paco

I didn't know about the duck, though. That's awesome. Duck and Paco's have. So, Brittany, I've noticed one thing about your children. Do they ever go inside or do they ever wear clothes? No, no, no, no. That's a good thing. They live outside.

They're little mini Tarzan's. Yeah. For sure. Why would you have clothes on? It's too hot. It's too hot. And I'm the one that does all that laundry. So the less clothes they wear.

The less laundry is better. That's how side lived his whole life. Yeah. I'm afraid of boys. Freedom Ring, baby Especially at that age While it's still cute Yeah

Before people start judging you They can get away with it right now Oh, he's gone Heylan You want to go That's one of my favorite parts About Martin's children They don't stop moving

You go on to see Beth He's in the corner Oh, okay You got Blue Dino? He said Blue Dino? That's so funny. He said, he said,

can you just get me out of there? He doesn't like being on camera. Your kids really are super chill, though. For the most part. Compared to. As long as they're not trying to do the same thing. Is that,

so there's just a natural competitiveness going down. All day, every day. I don't even know if it's competitive or is more just selfish. Like, I mean, I'm not even being.

That's probably the truth to the man. Like, because they're not like trying to do something better or faster, it's just like, if one of them's with her, then the other one goes over there to elicit that response. Could be doing something totally different. But if one of them comes over to me

and decides to have a little one-on-one time with me, no. The other one is not having it. That's the best call ever to get one of them there. Go see, bud. Go see Johnny D. I'm trying to think of something. No.

He's just standing over there. Hi. He said, no, I ain't worried about that. He's got trust issues. how they've grown. Oh, they're getting big now. But you know,

humans are selfish until they have their own kids. Yeah. Pretty much. Yeah, I'll tell you that. Yeah. That's pretty accurate right there.

So I saw all the way he cut them eyes at Wayland. Uh-huh. Oh, yeah. You punk. Yeah, he ain't, he ain't much. And like,

what really makes him mad is Jackson, what makes him mad, he's a puzzle freak. Like, his little puzzles can put them all together, all the things. well whalen can't really he just waylon knows what they all are he just struggles getting the pieces in there so he'll be putting a puzzle together whalen come over and take one piece

oh no he does it on purpose yeah he doesn't it yeah and then buddy just to get a reaction I'm talking about just glad to see he was at church yesterday it's the old thing it's the old thing but I know what the what but Jackson will come up will come and snatch these two things from him. He's way more attached to these than Jack. I could go take that blue dino from Jackson. So we got a blue dino, we got a duck. What's the other one?

Yellow lion. Yellow lion? Yellow lion's the OG though. A malliard. Yeah. He has a mallard too. He's just not as attached to it. And we now have a shark that we've added to the rotation too.

Wait till they name them. What you see, bud? You see the alligator? I'll wait. I know how I'm going to win this battle. Oh, he will love that. No. No.

No. Hey, I don't know. Come sit with me. And go hit the drums? But yeah, that's kind of them. I'm giving you size bongo drums. Yeah. Yeah.

One him over. He said. One him over. But that's them in a nutshell. Like they just, they know each other's trigger. And even at less than two, they exploit it.

Okay. Yes. That doesn't change, by the way. No. No. No. It's a change at your house ever? No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

My youngest, she will do stuff. I watch her. I'm like, you are doing this on purpose, Lottie? Oh, yeah. Just infuriate Carter. And they get in fights all the time. Parenting's tough. Woo, ain't it?

But that's them in a nutshell. So it's fun. The only thing they do together is ride their little bikes. They got bikes? Yes. Yeah, them little push bikes. I feel like I saw one of them going down a hill and do a complete flip. the other day.

That'd be him. He went straight over the handlebars. That'd be him. Him and gravity are tight. That is awesome. Yeah. He got right back on his bike and went down it again though, no problem. He never stops talking either.

No, neither one. I can't believe he's been. He's plotting. He's got a plan. He's chilling out. He's observing. He'll observe. He's chilling out.

Yeah, he's the most vocal and everything. thing, just not in a crowd. When a crowd's involved, he locks up. But he thrives in a crowd. Okay. I will say, when we were late for church for a variety of reasons yesterday, we'll get into them too. I peeked in in the little nursery, they have that window, and they were actually playing together. Were they? Yeah. I was like, hey, the Martins are here. I'm 20 minutes late. I think they do that when they're in a crowd that they don't know, then they gravitate towards the one that they do know. But like at home, no. Yeah, no.

At home. No, minimal amount of time with each other. Okay. Except now, like in the bathtub, they wash each other. It's kind of weird. I say what? They dump buckets of water on each other's heads. Yeah, that's fighting with water.

Yeah. Yeah. But they do it gently. He hasn't stopped moving. He's exploring. Got a duck, bud? What's you looking at back there? Yeah, you do?

The big one, he's very Martinish. He's getting that duck. And the T's gone. And he loves some. all sweet tea so look at there. How about that? What is that, buddy? Knocking stuff over.

Duck? You heard Waylon said it. What is it? Duck, yeah. What's he say? Quack, quiet, quiet. Hey, come here. Hunters, that's what you thought this job would be one day?

Yeah. Well, Martin, at 29, did you think you'd be sitting in the duck? You were working for duck commander. Mm-hmm. We met when we, He was 27. Yeah.

We got married at 29, yeah. Yeah. Did you think you'd be sitting here with two? Two, I would have said probably yes. Two at the same time, no. Very different. No, it's a very different set of circumstances there. That wasn't quite planned out.

Yeah, but the same result. Why are you so, you got something you want to say? He ain't said nothing. You got a duck? What does a duck say? Quack. Quack. Quack, quack, quack.

Quack, quack. Where are he? Will you please just sit with me for like two-sack? Oh, here you go do it. And he's not even two yet. He got all skin up knees and stuff. Oh yeah. They run and gun, don't they? Well, he does. Yeah.

It's actually calmed down a lot too. It used... Last week that was a pretty big... Oh man. he's a dangerous kid yeah we beefed it on the concrete yeah this one waylon's much more cautious dachson's more like I figured out that's how our kids were yeah he's much more reserved and cautious you got the one that's scared of everything won't go anywhere and then you got the one that will do anything who gets stung by wasp oh he'll do it all he just does it at a much slower pace it's much

more calculated he ain't getting himself in trouble no yeah he's definitely not he's not getting overextended on anything, but what colors that? Red. Is that red? What color's that? Brown, yeah. There you go. What colors this? That's not green. What colors that? Brown, yeah. What color is this?

Yeah. Say night night. Okay, he's ready to play. He said you can put, he said you can. we do if like his pacifier and all his lovies if he's like about to eat or if we're going outside he'll hand him to me and say okay night night yeah are they obsessed with pacifiers he is more so than him but we only let them have him at night now okay i remember those yeah devilish days of getting rid of those things which lottie she just threw it away one day what she goes i don't want this anymore i was about to ask you what you did to and bens we had to break it we cut it and told him it was

broken and we made them throw it away in a trash can. I felt terrible. No, you put Tabasco on it. That's what I did. You put Tabasco on it? Really? That would make me not want it anymore. That sounds a little aggressive. It works. Allison took scissors to it so then it was like all messed up and I was like it's broken, throw it away. And Ben's had it. He wore that thing like a suit and like it was attached to him. He would if we like everywhere he went. It was bad. Yeah. And so then it was like three rough days. and he was fine. Okay.

He likes his at night, for sure. Did it affect his sleep? I don't remember. Probably. Carter never had one. That's the only time they have them. Yep. Cold turkey all the way to go.

Yeah. Carter never had one, so that was easy. All right. Oh, no, he had one, but then he had surgery, and then we never had to use it again. Because he couldn't use it for like a week. So we're like, well, that's the time to get rid of it. A basket sauce.

It's rough. Oh, yeah. He's looking for you, Johnny Lee. Oh, hey, man. He said, no, I just wanted you to see me. I didn't want you to touch me. But he was making sure you were watching. I like it.

Everybody needs an audience, man. You can go run around? Aw, we. The dad version of Martin. You're a big teddy bear, aren't you? Even before we had kids, all of our friends had kids before us. We were a little late in the game. And I'd see all my friends' kids with him.

and I'm like, yep, he's going to be great with kids for sure. I'm better when I can whip them. And that's what Anna thought when she saw me with kids. That's what got her. Teddy bear. Then he started talking about pouring Tabasco on their past. So I can just say it. I have great news.

What? Anna brought you something. Is that what's in that refrigerator in that? Is that what's in the refrigerator? We're going to a break because we have, we're going to a break because we have, We have peanut butter pie. Oh, great. I've never had it.

It's his absolute. It didn't have my name on it, so I didn't take a piece of it. I don't sink it in there. It's yours. We're going to take a break and eat pie. Birthday pie. Martin, I do have a birthday present for you, though. What's that?

I was scrolling the Facebook. You know the old death scroll you do when you just bored and you don't have anything better to do. Yeah, when you're using a bathroom. Yep. Yeah. And I ran across a K&OE 8 News article. Stone, you may have seen this too.

I ran across a K&OE article. Local TV star, Cy Robertson, gets patriotic home makeover. You got to have a bit. It really looked good. Oh, yeah. Brittany is in the corner going, no. Is that real?

Is that, Cy, same question. No, no, that's real. That's real. That's my house now. Okay, it's got red, white, and blue. shingles on it. You got red, white, and blue shingles. Yeah.

On your home. Yep. And look, they started about 4 a.m. in the morning. Well, yeah, it's hot. Yeah. No, I don't blame them. Yeah. But I'm there staring sleeping in this.

There goes everything on our table. Yeah. Yeah. I told me, good. Grief. These boys are starting. I looked at the clock. I said, 4 a.m.

I said, well, he's got to beat the heat. Side, do you remember the days when we got paid to blend in. Because you show like to stand out now. Well, hey, look, that is the loudest roof I've ever seen. Hey, that thing is really pretty. And they did that. Look, it didn't take them for about four to 12.

They did your whole room. 4 a.m. to 12 o'clock. They were done. They were done. They were done. Hey, clean up and everything. And you ain't got a flat yet? No.

No, I've been, I'm very cautious. Are you worried at all that your house will now be very recognizable from Google Maps? No, because, hey, everybody has Google my house forever. Yeah, they show up there. That's why Willie paid that $30,000 of... For his neighbor's fence. For my fence. One of the greatest stories of all times.

Because he's come by one day, and there must have been 20 cars in the yard. Well, I got to admit on this roof. So a guy came by and knocked on. on my door last week. Huh? And said, I want to inspect your roof or whatever, you know, hail damage, all the thing. I said, well, we just had it done by another company. Insurance said, no, we're good.

We're going to wait. Perfect. You win. Which is fine. Like, I don't want to have to come out of pocket anything anyway. Amen. But me telling him that, he said, oh, by the way, have you seen size roof that we're going to do?

And I was like, what are you talking about? He said, well, we're making sigh. a patriotic roof for this deal for veterans where we're giving away free roofs to veterans or whatever. He's looking for another guy, another veteran to do this for. And I said. Stone? I said, no, but I can only imagine if Sioux approved it, it probably is wild. And he said, it's different.

Well, no, no, because he was all worried about it because it took him like it seemed like forever. They, you know, to get it going. Yeah. He had stopped by the house. He said, well, I'm just checking in. well, you're having difficulties getting the red roofing

material. And I said, hey, don't worry about it. Not a lot of people go with bright red roofs. Or white. But hey,

unless you own a barn. They really good, though. They really did a good job, and they did it quickly. I mean, what does Christine think? Uh, oh,

she loved it. Okay. Yeah. That's all the matters. Yeah. I mean, I'm a patriotic guy, but I kind of stop it like

swimsuits. And hats. And hats. Like, go USA. Hey. Oh, there's a child underneath me playing with shotgun shells. I'm going to the duck car rim. All right, look, springtime is here.

It's warming up. You know what that means. That means more outside cooking. And y'all know we love to eat beef around here. And that's what because of our friends over at Triedells beef makes such a good product, baby. Ain't it good? It's so good. Our friend, Cy Robertson would say, buy on the grill.

Look, before we got Triedells, getting ready for a cookout mess. Somebody had to run the grocery store, do all the things, grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day. And you never really know where that beef comes from. But with Triedales beef, we skip the grocery store and do it a different way. Triedales comes from a family ranch out in Texas. They're a fifth generation American ranch. So they've been at it for a while. Now, look, the beef comes straight from their ranch and other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way.

Their steaks are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door. we threw a couple of ribbys on the grill. Look, salt, pepper, garlic, hot fire, that's all you need. Look, because I tell you what, when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living, you can taste the difference. The tenderness and the flavor are fantastic. So if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season, go check out Tritale's beef. I know in size case Christine loves it, which is just a, she doesn't eat me.

She ain't a big meat easier, folks. Yeah. Just go to trybeef.com slash. That's trybeef.com slash. support ranch families and eat some dang good steak. You know, surprisingly, where you live of a roof like that really ain't going to stand out. There's other stuff to look at. Yeah.

And most of the traffic that happens on your road happens between 11 p.m. and 3 a.m. I was just like, you don't want to go there in the wee eyes in the morning. Hey, I've been rear-ended once and it happened on Phil Pite Road. Oh, no, no. Yeah, yeah. While you were going to. I knew it was going to happen, too. saw it before it even happened.

There were two heifers walking down the road. Two heifers. And short shorts. And this cat coming up behind me wide open. And I said, uh-oh. And I was turning. And sure enough, he got distracted. Oh, boy.

Oh, that's funny. Oh, yeah. Well, I'm going to be checking Google Maps every day for your roof. Oh, me too. I can't wait for it to show up. That is wild. This looks really good, though. It really does.

Hey, as long as you like it. They did a fantastic job on it. They really did. So it's a veteran initiative for Root. Just to help you out. Okay, cool. And you're bringing attention to it. And you are pretty good at bringing attention to stuff.

Yeah, I read about it. It's a pretty cool initiative that they're giving away roofs to veterans, re-roofing their homes. I mean, hopefully that's not one of the stipulations of it. Well, they just said, would you like to have your red, white, and blue? And you said, yeah, because you love them. My patriotic is the next man. I say, why not?

Patriotic is the next fan. That's Toby Keith level patriotism right there. I guarantee. Hey, that's fantastic. Unbelievable. Oh, I got another thing I want to bring up. Well, bring it up. What is the deal with this AI junk?

Oh, boy. Uh-oh. Artificial insemination? Yeah. No, artificial intelligence. Oh, okay. That's for horses. Yeah.

Well, that and then the other thing is, non-citizens voting. What Fox News did you watch this? Well, no, no, because look, hey, I very seldom do it. Okay. So I discovered Facebook.

Yeah, I was following. Okay, so I got to flipping through the news channel. Wait until you hear about the local TV stars' roof. Well, no. But anyway, I was looking through the news channel, okay, and, you know, AI come on. Okay, and look, it's got Trump. Oh.

They both told guns and robbing stores and junk, okay? Yeah, AI's a scary thing. Who's the Russian guy? They had him doing it. Putin? Yeah. Or Elon?

Hey, all of our big wheels that we know that stay in the news, they're going to robin and don't guns nowadays. Let me show you where AI has gotten to. Yeah. I'm sending Johnny D. Oh, no. Hey, I don't like it.

I feel a bunch of suits coming up. Oh, there's probably videos that you saying crazy stuff on the internet. Well, hey, I'll have to get too busy with me, yeah. You're not going to know what to believe or disbelieve. Oh, get ready. Yeah, because this kid, it's getting slam just, I mean, insane. Hunter is so excited. About what?

He's been waiting to talk about a... My phone will not stop ringing because he's just sending me AI stuff. Like, sigh riding a duck. Did you do that, Hunter? Yeah, just no. You just made that? You just made that that fast? Why didn't you make the duck's head green at least?

Oh, Hunter. Look, there's one right there. You're not familiar with what a mallard looks like. I can't tell it to make certain things green. It just does what it wants. I just give it the problem. Hold on. So if we say something, you'll make a,

picture? Yeah. I don't like this at all. Uh-uh. I've once made a sigh into the Terminator. Why are you doing this? What is your obsession with Sai? Si, I think you should sue them.

Yeah, I feel I feel a Netflix documentary coming. Where's your shrine at? Hey, you know what y'all did miss? We got a lot to unpack and not very much time to do it. So Friday, I walk into our break room, our company break room.

And I see Hunter sitting there enjoying his lunch. And across from him is a young lady also enjoying her lunch. So Hunter brought his girlfriend to work on Friday. Oh. Or she brought him? She brought him to work. I don't know. I'm not sure.

Who brought who? Or did y'all just meet here? We just met here. Oh, okay. Yeah, we were eating our lunch together. She was very nice, by the way. I got to give her two thumbs up for my one-minute interaction. Because I didn't want to interrupt their lunch day.

I didn't know what y'all. much date. Yeah, but no, very nice. What was your name again? Cat. Cat, that's right, yeah. With a C or K? K. It's short for Kathleen.

Kathleen. There you go. Oh, hey, oh, yeah. What were y'all eating? Homemade sandwiches? Yeah, I made us sandwiches. So you had a little picnic in the break room. Look at that hopeless romantic.

Yeah, I wanted to see, like, some stuff that I do. So I showed her the editing timeline and how it works, very boring stuff. And she's still with you? Oh yeah. We walked around. And then you showed her your collection of SAI AI images? No.

Oh, yeah. We kept that one in a hidden folder. Has she met your grandpa, yeah? Yes. So Sa, you're curious about AI. Martin sent me this. I have no idea what it is. Oh, this was all AI.

I got sent this like 10 times this morning. It was crazy. This morning? Yeah. Hold on. How do I play it? Okay. I think you're at that played.

But you got to listen. Willie Robertson. We got a bit of an unusual situation on her hands. Due to a packaging error, we've got 2,000 Matthews V3 compound bows that we can't sell. But here's the exciting part. How about the AI Willie Robertson? For free, if you're tuning into this message, you're in luck. You have the chance to grab a Matthews V3 compound bow today, absolutely free of charge.

A couple of quick things to note, this offer is only open to residents of the United States. And there's a limit of one free bow for household. Now, to us, right, that doesn't necessarily sound like Willie. No. But to the untrained ear. But to the untrained ear, I could actually see where you get that confused as Willie Robertson. Oh,

wow. But you know, it's very commonplace for a company to give away $1,000 bows. Yeah. I don't know what all the comments say, but I was like, somebody has done AI of Willie Robertson's voice. Like,

that's terrifying. That's crazy, right? I AI John David's voice once. What? Yeah. I couldn't get an edit to work. Oh, is that time he cost? No.

No, I'm kidding. A different time. I'm kidding, y'all. I couldn't get an edit to work because the way you said something was so wrong. Oh, wow. It was so weird. So I took your voice because I have hours and hours and hours of it. I trained the AI to mimic you, and I used it to make kinetic correctly.

I'm about to skull drag you across the parking lot, son. Johnny D. No, that means you're big time. You've been AI. I've been AI. Yeah, now we're doing a lot of weird stuff, Sa. I bet you're out there. Oh, there's got to be an AI, Sy Robertson.

Got to be. Hey, Jack. It's going to, one of them deals where it sounds just enough like him if you don't know him, but if you know him, it's like ridiculously wrong. Corey, when I sent out to Corey this morning, she said that sounds like Willie at Camp when he was 13. That was her response to his AI. It was a girly-willie. Well, I said, I'll have to tell you word for it.

That was actually one of the few times I wasn't around. Hey, Hunter, can you make an Uncle Sy, Gandalf, the wizard? Give me two seconds. If you knew that in two seconds. No, he's already got that one. He's just got to find it. Yeah, that's in the library. Gandalf, the Wiz.

I showed my kids all the Lord of the Rings trailers. We're about to go down that road. Are you? Oh, yeah. Does that mean a trip to New Zealand? in your future? Probably not. That sounds expensive.

The flights aren't as bad as you think. If I'm going to New Zealand, I'm going to go shoot things. Yeah. They got a special of Red Stag right now, like five grand for up to a 400-inch bull. Good gracious, that's huge. That's a big, big bull. What do you do with it? Eat it.

There? I mean, you can't bring it home with you. That's a long flight. Yeah. I don't think dry ice going to make it that bull. No. Oh, man. Hunter, you oversold the two seconds, my friend.

Oh wait, the, he's claiming he's got it. My phone froze up for some reason. Oh, boy. Where is it, Hunter? We're waiting. Uncle Sy as Gandalf.

Uncle Sy as Gandalf. Oh, my word. This is magical. He did it? Are you kidding me? Is this a real thing? Oh, wow. So question.

Do you type in, what do you type in, Cy Robertson? I put in Uncle Cy. Uncle Sy. So there's enough. That's just a, website that's free.

Yeah, there's a lot of them. All the really, really good ones you have to pay for, but this one's called GenCraft AI. Yeah. So like, but if you type in Jay Stone or Justin Martin or John David O, we're out, right? I mean, you got to be like side level. Oh, boy.

Let's see on this stuff. Oh, I hate this. No, I'm just curious. What's the website, though? GenCraft AI. Like, because they don't have a registry of every person. Or do they? If it's the government they do.

I mean, that one doesn't really look like size. That looks like... That looks like a big, yeah, like a redneck Gandalf. I don't know. I'm not as impressed with that one as it was the other one. That other one on the duck was pretty salty. This website doesn't even work, Hunter. Speaking of, didn't the Olympic medalist come do the podcast?

Oh, yeah. He did. Yeah, Brody. Oh, yeah, Brody. He's awesome. I love that family. You got to feed him, right? Yeah, I felt.

them steak. They mentioned it. Yeah. So he comes in there. He's got his Olympic medal, you know. Sage walks in. She said, you got bronze? Uh-oh. He said, yeah, I got a bronze medal. She said, you didn't get gold? She said, I got gold. You want to see?

Oh. You all know what I'm saying? So we got all got a big laugh out of it. And then they took a picture with them together. He was wearing her gold medals. He's wearing his bronze, Olympic bronze medal. That's awesome. It was pretty funny. Who's that? You?

That's Justin Martin from Duck Dynasty hunting. That looks like Mike Miller. The turkey killer. Yeah. Yeah. What kind of gun is? It's a really little gun. A tiny gun.

What kind of gun is that? A pew-poo. I don't know. Not impressed with your weird. Look how big your hands are compared to that gun. Oh, hell. I mean, I do hit their mind. For that, uh, yeah.

What else is in my hand? A GoPro? You got seven. 17 fingers. Ooh. No, no, that's just five. That's just a really long thumb. What that is.

I guess that's a GoPro or in theory. I don't like this website. It makes me uncomfortable. No, it's... But that was me back in the Waffle House days, 100%. Oh, man. That was me. Yeah, that was me.

Like, eyes almost swell shut. Swale, slow. What's a... Yeah, I don't know. But anyway, we digress. We've really went around the world here as per usual. however Johnny D I don't want to talk about it

yeah we're talking about it shoplifting it's a plague on America I'm to the point though that I'm angry they're stealing swimming suits for crying out you should be angry my man took your merchandise and put on his jump ready you ready for it here's the video he's grabbing stuff

he's got four hats in his hand and then he does like a fire drill and then shoves them all down his pants What you don't see in this video from this clown is he had already taken his shorts off, put a swimsuit on, and then put the shorts back on over it. He had another shirt shoved down his shirt, and then the only reason we caught him is because I'm walking through this morning, doing my, you know, checking. Because Saturday night, you just get out of there. We'll clean it up Monday morning. I look down and I see some really bright red shoes

And I'm like well this is interesting You're thinking one W.E count of time Well no they were size five They were like they were a youth five if you will And so I was like that's interesting And then beside that I found $15 and I was like huh So we start looking for shoes that are missing Can't find any because we're like looking in the kids shoes

Well and then I go back to find the video And this Sketchville person's just digging around Just shoving stuff everywhere and he walked out with different shoes than he had on. Size 10, so his feet grew five sizes while he was in the back. He liked Pinocchio except his feet grew. Yeah. Every time he lie, his foot get bigger.

Every time he shoves something into his pants, his foot got bigger. But the best part was the majority of his dirty work was done directly in front of a camera. In front of a camera. There's literally a mirror, right? You see I'm looking at it? The mirror's right there. looks into the camera like three times. Well, look, here's what I've learned about shoplifters in my brief retail career.

Oh. It's a problem. If you're theft, if you're crying as shoplifting, you're not very smart. It's 2024. No, no, I was looking at this. And just, you know, I will say he's younger than 25 year old. Oh, no. No, he's older.

Mid-40s. He's older than me. Oh, he is? Yeah. He pretty rough looking. You can always see his back. Here's the thing. Well, and he's a small feller, so you get the appearance.

What's wrong? What's wrong with this picture? What part of it? I own all that, well, my parents own all that stuff. It's a stupid baseball cap. Yeah, a few of them. Oh, it's more, yeah, it's like five of them. I mean, at least get brazen and I feel one of them yetie coolers right there and take off with it.

Like, at least make you crime worth it. No? He, well, hey. You get a big old box of crickets. He got, I think he got about $300 worth of stuff is what we could see. I really don't. I don't get it. You would risk going to jail?

He's been to jail. Oh, and, you know. Yes. You got to be kidding me. You know, I've discovered in life now, too, just so we're clear. Yeah. If you're a shoplifter, you're probably not listening. But if you own a retail store in a small town, you get their picture, you put it on Facebook.

within an hour. Facebook and TikTok have solved more cold cases than the police department ever had. Look, we were waiting on the, we didn't call the police until we already had a name. Like, we're like, okay, we got it. Because somebody is, he's done somebody else wrong before and they know him. So my man's done time.

Yeah, he's going back. He's going back. But, yeah, that's sad. But at this point, I'm, I custodized this morning. I don't blame what. I was, like, I was mad because it's just so like, disres, like, at least be sneaky about it. It was just straight.

Let me see how much stuff that I'm not even going to use. Yeah, that was brazen disrespect. I'm going to shove down my pants. At the last 30 minutes when you have, who's working that shit, you got Boo, who used to work here, who is 50 something. And Big Dave, that was all that was there. And they were helping. They were doing stuff.

They were working. Yeah. So Boo felt terrible. She's like, I should have seen it. I said, you were helping other customers. There's no way to. And even then, Boo, what are you going to do? She, you know.

Well, I know she mean. She got a mean. I know she got a mean street, but I mean, you know. You worked in retail that long. You got to, you got to be able to tell somebody to exit the building. I mean, that's when you take one of them seven foot medium heavies y'all got and just start treating them like I did in the old days. You put that stuff down.

You just start whooping them with it. I've got a catfish pole. It used to be seven foot. Now it's about six. Oh, yeah, even better. I got it. That's better than a switch, buddy. That's better than a switch.

I'm talking about just treat this like it's a catfish. 1900s again. Nowadays, if you, you steal something, you got to know that there's a camera around every corner, everybody's got a cell phone. Yeah. Hey, look, this Facebook is

nobody, there's no way that you can get away with anything these days. No. No. I'm about to put on that little redneck sign we have outside. If you steal from us, I'm putting your butt on Facebook and then I'm calling the police. and it's going to work.

I'm three for three. Yeah, I put this one on Facebook one hour ago. Like I was coming in hot from filming. Yeah, when you walked at my office, it was like 12 minutes ago. If you want to know somebody's business, you just type in their wife and on Facebook, whatever her name is,

because she's going to tell you everybody's business. I do like the placement of the shirt up under your monitor. Oh, yeah. Be like Jesus, you got Jesus in theft all in one. Well, we're trying to correct this. I'm trying to see how many, But either way. Hey, return all the stolen merch for a free be like Jesus shirt.

You know what? If you come and pay for all of that I'll give you, I don't want it back. It's been to places that cannot be clean. Yeah. Yeah, that's a bad deal. Yeah, the only retribution he's got is paying you for it, but he left you all he had probably. Yeah, he left me $15. $15.

In a youth large tennis year. Yeah, those are going in the dump. Is your wife on Facebook? I think so. she's more of an Instagrammer oh if you will on that gram I'm not a big Facebooker but it's great for small businesses

is that yeah we're at 3,200 people's watched it already there's only 15,000 people inside the city limits of Westman row buddy so I'm safe I showed everybody and spoiler alert if for some twisted reason you listen to us your dad

turned you in that's a sad story oh it's sad well but you know what let me tell you why his dad doing it because of what you read off air and we're not going to bring that up his dad loves him yeah and he knows that the only play good place for him right now is back in prison yeah like that's why his dad is doing what he does it's stay down learn to trade while you're in there dude

good grease yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i mean you get out and you come and you come and the first thing you do is go take some hats and some shirt big dave let you sweep the parking lot and give you a shirt and a hat. Well, it's just ridiculous. You know, I mean, Big Dave let you pick up trash out there for two days, and he'd give you a shirt and a hat. You ain't got to steal a.

He did something for you. He might give you a shirt. Somebody did comment one of the kids. He'd at least give you a CR shirt. One of the kids, well, he'd definitely have you there on Friday night, but how about this? That's what I'm saying.

Come visit me there. And then one of the kids that shops with us all the time. Yeah. Said I'd hate to be pounced on by Big Dave. Fully agreed. Can you imagine if Big Dave would have walked around the corner and that dude was shoving stuff in his pants? Or if it had been when he was putting them pants on,

he'd back here in his drawer. Big, oh, man. I mean, Big Dave would have. I have a healthy respect and fear of my father, and I think that. Poor a reason. Well, hey, spoiler alert. For those of you that shop at Honeyhill

and think this may be a good idea. Big Dave goes to CR on Friday nights for anger issues. He leads the anger group on Friday nights, but if y'all want to steal some... You may not want to poke that back. Yeah. Yeah, you may want to go somewhere else. And a house full of sticks that he can whip you with.

You may not want to poke the bear that leads the anger management group. He just saying. He said, what did he say? You know how side, Phil always say, look, we can either have a gunfight or a Bible study? Yeah. My dad doesn't have a gun. Yeah. We wrote a bearer Jesus.

He will have a gunfight. Oh, yeah. He knows it's just best to not have weaponry on him. He needs some of my therapy I've been taking. He'd whoop somebody. think. I'm scared of it. I've taken 10,000 of them, and it's the best thing it ever happened to me. I needed my butt whip. So does that boy right there. Well, I, here's the time. Everybody on the planet needs that buffalo. You'll lose that prideful, pride that's right.

That's right. We'll find out. Yeah. Yeah, you'll lose all that pride. You've been running around here. I guarantee you will. How long you've been there, what, two years now? Honey-Holl? Oh, 30. Three. Yeah, I couldn't remember. Three years. So you're averaging one known shoplifting a year. Well, those are, you can always,

the big ones, you know, somebody might steal a pack of hooks, whatever, you suck and you're a bad person. Oh, my goodness. You know,

the big ones that get caught, about once a year, I'm putting somebody on blast. Like, here we go. Yeah. And I'm going to find you, and then I'm going to turn you in the police

and we'll see where it goes. Now, look, I think you, you have a real future because of things I've asked you to do. moonlighting is almost a private investigator too, Johnny D. I mean, I think you could do that on the side of you can find out more about people in a hurry than anybody I know.

It's weird. Yeah, you're good. You got a lot of detective in you. Oh, he's a good, snooper. He's good. I don't know that I like it. This just proves how often people check their Facebook. That's true.

I mean, it's like, I've seen some people like every 10, 15 seconds, they can't go without looking at some kind of social media. You got to check it. Who liked that? Who liked that? I mean, it's like a drug. Yeah. And especially when there's a crime involved. Oh, yeah.

Because now they're calling them. You say they stole from the honey hole game. Can you believe they did that? Can you believe it? It is good, though, that's the city of West Monroe loves us, man. Because these people get, it's like they think, I mean, they did, but it's like they they think they came to, like, Big Dave's house and slapped him in the face and stole. And then the whole town wants to tar and feather this boy.

And I'm like, you know what? And meanwhile, they want a tar and feather side for getting a new roof. Oh. Oh. going there. Sight, you're in trouble for your roof. Did you know? Oh, yeah.

I ain't worried about it. Yeah, he don't care. I know the reason he signed up for it. It wasn't for a free roof. They're making negative comments already. Oh, the first few were like, I'm, hey, great initiative, but you couldn't find somebody more deserving. I'm like, well, who else would have made the news and got this covered locally,

regionally and nationally? So, yeah, it had a... And then told everybody about it on a little podcast in the leisure department. There you go. Like, there is a reason. People don't get stuff, though. No, they don't. And the people that get the least, for some reason,

spend the most time on Facebook. I can't even imagine commenting on stuff. It would be weird. No. Yeah, it's wild. What else happened? I mean, we've had a bunch of good stuff. There's some miserable humans on planet Earth.

Oh, I thought you were going to say on Facebook. Or Facebook. Yeah. There's some, well, there's good parts about it, but man. Oh, yeah. People need to cheer up. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's wild.

especially when politics are. Oh, boy. It is an election here. Sire, you're excited that it? Have you noticed the price of gas has dropped dramatically? All of a sudden, just might be more an election. I like that Harris just started going along with Trump on. Well, hey, let's make America great again.

Oh, let's do it. She did almost say that. No, that was Joe. He said, we're going to make America back to what it used to be. Yeah. He almost said it. That was funny. Yeah.

I think we should just get real political this year. Okay. No. Not at all. I don't know enough about it. I did see everybody up in a tailspin about it. The tax, her proposed tax or whatever. What are we getting taxed on now?

Everything. What, the unrealized capital gains or something? So if you make X amount of dollars in the stock market, it's taxable up to 44%. 44%? If your net worth is over $100 million. $100 B. But everybody got all stirred up. I'm like, man, we got lots of 100 millionaires in this world,

but I didn't even know existed. Now, the problem with that is, if you start taxing them, most of them are the business owner. So then it will be a trickle down effect. Not to 44%, but there will be a trickle down effect. They don't stop fishing as much. But, I mean, for money you don't even have. I don't know, we got too many taxes.

That's just, that's, they once poured a whole harbor. full of tea over this. Can you imagine how upset Sy would have been if he was in Boston, Massachusetts when they just started throwing tea? Perfectly good tea. My man would have been doing the salt water. He'd been doing the backstroke out there

with a bucket full of lemons. Hey, Boston's where the man got engaged, ain't it? That's why I met her. Yeah, or met her, yeah. See, look, Boston, American history, man. Throwing tea party, Cy Robertson meets Christine Robertson. Two things that just changed the world forever. It took me 14 hours of convince her to marry me.

14 hours. They dumped that tea quite faster than that. What should we do? It wasn't sweet tea either. No, it didn't say y'all on a crate either. I think we need to pull another Boston tea party. On who? I don't know.

Just anybody. We need taxes need to go down for everyone. I mean. They don't even need to go down. They just need some of them need to disappear. There you go. Some of them are ridiculous. I mean, I'm just saying.

saying it. Like, you can't just tax us because you can't work a spreadsheet and balance a budget. Like, complicating the math doesn't make the math better. So, like, just get back to simple math, this much in, this much out. It's not that difficult. Martin Robertson, 2028. I'm voting for you for president. I don't want the job of president. Because no matter how good of a job you do, half of them are going to be pissed off at you. So I don't even, I don't even want that job. I'd like to be up here for four. four years. For what?

You wouldn't do nothing? Oh, yeah, I would. What would you do? Hey, I would go in there with a slash that you would, hey, I would cut everything that there is cuttable, okay? The grass? That's about all you got the power to cut. No, no, look.

I'm talking about, hey, hey, we would be, yeah, we wouldn't be screaming back on Texas. We give him four years. Four years, okay. And Cy Robertson, we'll fix it all. And if you start that in six months, you will be done. dead. That's actually might.

Somebody will snuff you at. Hey, I don't disagree with that. Hey, it would be worth dying for. Just go in there and, hey, throw out everything they got. Okay, and start over and say, here's how we're going to run there. Two plus two is going to add up to four every time. And use your calculator. Every time.

You ain't got to show you work. You ain't got to show you work. And if you don't work, here's this news for you. You don't eat. if you don't eat that's right you die starved and death

that's what I'm talking about and we'll let the buzzers take care of you you got my vote okay but we're not going to waste any money on you boy what a platform USA

USA that's basically what that lady that's running said she said all it needs four years and I'll fix all the problem oh no I ain't gonna fix problems

okay I'm gonna get rid of the problems okay yeah because she ain't had three and a half Yeah, I ain't going to fix nothing. I'm going to get rid of everything. Yeah, he's going to get. How many people are you firing day one?

The whole whole bunch. All of them. Give me some of Jesus' truth. Let's end. Let's wrap this up. We're getting out of politics. We're going to get out of politics. Martin, happy birthday.

Happy birthday, Martin. Thank you for him. Don't steal people. And in this political season, just remember, be nice to everybody. And, you know, have fun. because your vote doesn't matter anyway. Psalm 25, 4 through 5, show me your ways, oh Lord,

teach me your past, guide me in your truth, and teach me for you are God, my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. Amen, and nobody but him. Amen, put your hope in him. That's it. See y'all next time. We'll see.