Duck Call Room - We Need a ‘Duck Dynasty’ Reboot for Mishaps Like This

Episode Date: June 18, 2024

Martin is reaching milestones with his sons, and Phillip offers some hard-won parenting advice for potty training boys. Uncle Si’s first meeting with his in-laws included everyone’s worst dating nightmare: the toilet water coming up instead of going down after the flush! John-David sticks up for all the guys out there who’ve had their own embarrassing toilet occurrences, and Si considers getting some new ink to match his new beard game! - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So, where's your chain at, for real? You could never break the chain. They broke it. What's the deal with people stealing stuff around here? They broke it, man. I cut it off because I couldn't hang it up. I know where Phil's going. He's trying to get me all riled up.

No, no. Why are you riled up? I was just singing Fleetwood Mac. Well, you know, I just, I don't know. No, tell him what happened. You can't say, I just, I don't know. Someone. Someone.

Oh, no. I know. That works here. Broke the toilet seat. I'm not even, look. We got some many people that come in and out of here. They may not even work here. But this was a special.

Hold on. Special toilet. Hold on. There's, I had my own toilet. Are you fixed? No, it wasn't. Hey, I don't work here anymore.

Which toilet was it? Because that's an important part of the... Yeah, it was our bathroom. I quit again. The executive... You quit again, boy? The executive suite. you will, as I like to call it.

That one lady used to have an office basically in that bathroom and you couldn't go. And that one time I did and it was full dumb and dumber. And I felt terrible because she's out there just answering emails right on the other side of the bathroom door. Have you ever? Beth, have you ever forgave you for that one? Well, we didn't have, we had too many employees all the sudden because Duck Commander blew up. Mm-hmm. And so we're just putting people in closets.

Well, she ended up basically at the bathroom door. Is this Royce's wife? Yeah. Okay, go ahead. When I tell you, it was like a bomb went off noise-wise, and I was like, she's just on the other side of the door. But what's you going to do? I tried to play music.

It didn't help. Hey. Anyway, somebody broke the toilet? We talked to our head. That was actually, I guess, me just now when I threw it, because I was upset about the broken toilet. What happened to the toilet, Mark? I don't know.

Look, I went in there to Titi. And like a good gentleman who shares all, to share office places with females, I was going to pick up the seat. Well, when I go to lift the seat, it is a jar. And I'm like, what's happening here? So I start chasing it with my hand. Oh, the seat's just not even attached to it?

No. That's a work hazard. Yeah, you hit my big toe and pissed me all. Uh-oh. There you go. Uh-oh. So somebody broke it. They jimmied it back on where you couldn't tell it was broke.

And then they closed the. top lid too. To make it look. Yeah. Okay. So instead... This place is going to crap. Instead of just merely going and talking to somebody or...

I mean, it was a clever pun. Is that why you're laughing? No. Oh. I'm getting blamed over here. Hunter's giggling too hard. No, no. It wasn't me.

I haven't even stepped foot in back. Hey, who's done it? That's what I'm going to know. Hold on. Different question. Did you just say you have never stepped foot in a bathroom here? No, not today. He said not today.

I don't know that it was broke. I don't know that it was broken today. Yeah, this was broke like on Friday. It could have been broken last night. I didn't use that bathroom yesterday either. Hunter's dehydrated, first of all. That's important to cover that. If anything.

Yeah, we'll circle back to that. Yeah. Sorry. So somebody, and you know, everyone's why you get in a bind and stuff happens in the bathroom. I've left pairs of underwear behind. It happens. Yeah. I've been there done that.

Like, I've done the Irish goodbye because you went there, whoops, and then you just kind of slip on out to your truck and you come back and everybody's like, why did you change clothes? Oh, I got something on it. You know, you don't tell them you crapped your pants, but like. At Tristan Street golf course one time, I just left my underwear there. I said these are theirs now. Yeah, you can have them.

There's no saving these. Yeah. I must go home. Yeah, I got to go now. But my problem with it is, and I think it's kind of a microcosm of the world that we live in. Oh, we're getting deep. Yeah, we're getting deep. Because this is like the third thing that's happened this week here that is really, really irritated me. Uh-oh. What else happened? Well, we'll get to that too. This is... However, just tell somebody you broke it. Uh, the toilet's a

different one. The seat? That's embarrassing. The seat. What if... Well, go under there, under the impression. Hey, do like I, I've had to do, I found it broken. I would tell you if I, actually, I wouldn't tell you if I broke it. I'd just go buy a new toilet seat and put it on there. I got a company credit card. Not a big deal. It is at max four screws. Well, just. At max.

But don't try and cover it like you didn't break it. Yes. Put a note that says, was an emergency jogged, sat down kind of quick, knocked it off the hinges. I mean, because I go back and think about it. Anonymous. I go back and think now.

So what if, what if Becky goes to sit down to T.T.? That's a hazard. Or to use the restroom. And then Beck, falls off the toll, it breaks her hip, and we've got a whole new different thing. Yeah.

There you got, you know. Becky! I mean, thank God it happened to me. All I did have dropped it on my big toe, which aggravated the snotted. I mean, because somebody intentionally put the whole deal down. Yeah. Yeah. They didn't know how to deal with it.

Once they broke it, they didn't know how to deal with it. And so they just put it back. Are we not all adults here? Well, I don't know. Actually, every time I come to this office, I see a new child that I don't know. And I don't know whose it is. So there might have been a kid. Now that's possible.

Well, then go tell your parent. We're about to close down Duck Commander Daycare then. Well, this kid did not do it. I just don't understand why you don't just say something. I would have messed up with it. Make up a story. You found it too.

Make up something like... I feel like if I'm jogging into the bathroom and I slide into first base to sit down and knock the toilet seat off the hinges, I'm just going to leave it off the hinges and be like, my bad. But that's an embarrassing one. So I don't know that I'd just be walking out and be like, hey, everybody.

We'll make it obvious so that somebody doesn't sit in on it. I would just fix it. Future reference, okay, for whoever did it, do not do that. Because like Martin said, someone else could have come in there and hurt. Hey, prime example. Kay was here yesterday. Yeah. You know how much that woman uses the bathroom.

What if Ms. Kay goes in there sits on it? Yeah. You hurt Ms. Kay, there's going to be an army again. That's why you. That's what I'm saying. You broke it. Just.

And you don't even have to say you broke it again. Don't hide it. What if Ms. Kay broke it. Kay can't walk that far right now. But I think an email is coming out from Mark. I would have told you the store. Oh, no.

We have one of our patented all-employee meetings next week. And guess what's going to be a topic of discussion? You'll have all-employee. If you break the toilet seat, you've got to get up in minute. I like it. Yeah. What time is this meeting at and where? Like 11 o'clock.

I will not be there. But can you record the toilet seat portion of it? Is there a bonus if you find out who did it? Well, here, let me tell you my issue. We've added a lot of new people here. Oh, boy. We have. It's a don't fact.

We cut a bunch of people back and we've added a lot of new people here. Before we added new people, everybody that was here took a little ownership of this place. It was a dump. Don't get me wrong. It's built from 1960. There's cockroaches here. Huge dump. It's fine.

I love it. That's okay. It's one of the hominess things about it. You know, like kind of makes you feel like, you know, your grandparents. It's been upgraded. But everybody. took care of it. Yeah, because it was like your own special...

If you saw something in the floor, you picked it up, you bent down. Now we're just leaving broken toilet seats laying around. So we got a culture problem changing around here that I don't like. Now, is it the toilet seat? Have there been several incidents? Well, yesterday, so we got a box bin back here where you break down your boxes and you put them in the bin. The unwritten rule is if you deposit the box that fills up the bin, whoever it is,

just take them out there to the recycling dumpster. it is a 20-yard walk with concrete now. We never had concrete before. It's as easy as it can get. I had to walk through gravel like some sort of heathen. Exactly. Look, this thing. Y'all got a sidewalk.

This thing yesterday was stacked up nine foot tall when I went back there to put two boxes in it. Oh, boy. So I don't care. It's not, it is what it is. But how do we get to nine, how did it get to nine foot tall? Like, why did somebody not take it out prior to you? I would say this is not a one-person thing. It's a culture thing.

We're allowing something to get in here that don't need to be in here. That one. This one. There's them two. There's them four. Because one person did do it. No,

I'm not saying one person did do it. I'm just wondering for the person that, the first person when it was full that left it full and what were you doing? Why not just roll it out? I mean, it's literally a five-minute thing. Hunter took him out last week. I saw him out there in the parking lot doing it.

Hunter rules. Yeah, I saw Hunter dumping the thing. Hunter, of all the people that still work here, you're in my top 10. Yeah. Thanks. I appreciate. There's only 10 people that work. I just don't understand how we get it to this fall.

I don't know. I don't know. I got it up there. What did it do for it? Isn't that crazy? Ain't that wild? You got side died. But it's just like, why are we there?

What is changed? What is this a bunch of people looking at that saying that ain't my job when they take a box back here? You know you don't want them to say that. That ain't my job. That's what I'm talking about. So that's the mindset that's got to change at this place if I'm going to stick around here. Because I can't handle it.

Let's just go fire somebody. Because it makes me irrationally angry like I am right now. Let's just call. Let's open the door. First person that walks in, let's just fire them to prove a point. I'm just kidding. All right. Look, springtime is here.

It's warming up. You know what that means? That means more outside cooking. and y'all know we love to eat beef around here and that's what because of our friends over at try tell's beef makes such a good product baby ain't it good it's so good it's our friend sall robertson would say buy on the grill look before we got tritels getting ready for a cookout man somebody had to run the grocery store do all the things grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day and you never really know where that beef comes from but with tritels beef we skip the grocery store

and do it a different way. Triedails comes from a family ranch out in Texas. They're a fifth generation American ranch, so they've been at it for a while. Now, look, the beef comes straight from their ranch and other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way. Their steaks are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door.

We threw a couple of ribbys on the grill. Look, salt, pepper, garlic, hot fire, that's all you need. Look, because I'll tell you what, when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living, you can taste the difference. the tenderness and the flavor are fantastic. So if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season, go check out Triedails beef.

I know in size case Christine loves it, which is just a, she doesn't eat meat. She isn't a big meat easier, folks. Yeah. Just go to trybeef.com slash. That's tribeef.com slash support ranch families and eat some dang good steak. She's on Pennsylvania.

So let me tell y'all something, and it's not the same exact thing, but what we started noticing is if we let graffiti gets started anywhere in the children's home where I work. If we don't address it and really get rid of it, it gets rampant and the kids come into an environment where there's graffiti, it sets a whole different tone for care. So anytime we see something, we try to address it and fix it immediately so that the environment has changed and it doesn't get too far gone.

And what you're talking about is it's getting in the direction where you don't like it and it's getting too far gone. No, no, no, Corley. Yeah, I can't stand it. If you don't handle it while it's a small problem, it will become a big issue. That's what I had to do to Allison. She wouldn't break down the boxes, so.

Oh, yeah. Oh, good, great. Do that at home, too, throw a box in a trash can. Allison is the one doing it. It's probably, if she was here, you know. Does Brittany break down boxes? Why can wives, just specifically, them not just cut the box down before you put it in the trash?

Mine takes a moment. out and burns them. I made a deal with Brittany. I said, if you will just sit the box under the carport, I will, I'll break them down. Just please do not throw them in the trash can. I'll take care.

Whatever you do, don't throw them in the trash can. Allison, I'm not going to go there. Although Alston doesn't want you. I must have got there from the military. What? No, no. Because when I get through with a box of Kleenex, the Kleenex is gone.

Yeah. I tear it in the little, I don't just throw it in the trash air. It might be, because I tear it, break it down. and then it's, you know, it's little pieces. I mean, I'm one of the few guys that I know, like, I break down the pizza boxes. My dad would break down the milk cartons when we've got to...

Yeah, they're making them out of a lot stronger things now. When we got to walk a house. Well, hey, you can't put but a couple in there. Yeah. If they're the real good ones now, like, hey, it's a house. I save them and freeze them. Poker game.

That's my ice in the summertime. Yeah. Well, if you throw two of them in the trash can, it's full. Yeah. So, hey, I got to take a pocket now. I thought. What happened to the Johnny's pizza box? Oh,

now put 40 in there if I want to. They're new. Random. You need to make people take their pizza bottles. Look at there. Somebody was listening. I'm about to text you this, man, dude. What?

Somebody in this office. Oh, somebody might have raised their hands on it. I did it. No, the toilet seats fit. There's a brand new toilet seat on there. Okay. I tried to air drop it. Did you get it?

I got it, but air drops. Oh, shoot. I'm sorry. I'm an old man who doesn't know how to urge it. It'll go to download. Wait, somebody's hand is holding up the empty toilet seat. That's the culprit. No, it's not the culprit.

Whose hand is this? That's Jared. Jared did that. Oh, Jared went and fixed up. That's just the rest of the pictures in my phone. Here's what I can say with a very certain level of confidence. Jared was not here yesterday. So it wasn't Jared, but he did fix it.

Look at it. Jared's nude. Do we like Jared? I do like Jared. Artons on one today and it makes me watch out. Well, what I tell you, and here's what I like about Jared. You don't have to tell him what to do. Like he sees something, he does something. Like, you know.

He's not a, that's not my job guy. That's not my job. People are the world. Like when you're hunting, like Jared, Jared's our camera guy for the hunts and everything. When you're hunting, I'll look out there when he's got what he's got. If we still got decoys to pick up, he's picking up decoys. He's trying to get us in and out as quick as possible doing all the stuff while maintaining and doing his job. He knows I would never ask him to do that.

I think it's about doing the right thing a lot of times. You know, just some people have a servant mindset and they're going to, wherever the need is, they're going to help, you know. Yeah. I'm going to stick up for the bathroom culprit just a little, though, because breaking a toilet seat's embarrassing. Have you done that before? Hey, it's embarrassing. We're not here to talk about it. Look, as a guy who's shopped in the Husky section for 97% of his life,

whoa. I can say I have never broken a toilet seat. I've never broken a toilet seat. And I'm a guy who breaks a lot of stuff. If I were to break a toilet seat, I might panic. I've fixed a lot of toilet seats, but I haven't broken any of us. Well, that's like the idiot that uses the bathroom and does number two. And then I haven't got the common sense.

Everybody does. I'll say, no, if I find that, Martin's doing DNA testing and firing you if you do that. No, we're just going to start over. You can either get rid of me or everybody else, but we're going to start over. If we stop flushing? Yeah. Cy, that's terrible.

Well, no, I'm serious, it happens. Who? Where? You obviously, ain't ever been to a bathroom in an airport. Some nasty folks just get up and walk away from it. No, no. And of course, when I walk in there and see it, I'm like, man, how did that come out of a human? But, I mean, they're trying to get away from.

The other thing, I can't understand if you tried to flush it and you can't. Because I walked in there and I'm talking about, hey, somebody dropped a log. Okay. This was, this was a logger. Okay. Because there ain't a way it's going to ever go down. Martin, save us. No, there's no saving this.

Well, no, I'm just telling you. Did I tell you about my buddy? He's got a girlfriend and he had to go meet the parents in Mississippi. And I was like praying it would be just like the movie. except it went full dumb and dumber. Oh, no. He said, For him?

Went to flush? No, nothing. He's texting me from the bathroom, just panicked. Oh, no. Hey, I did that with my...

He found a plunger in the bathroom. He was Christine's parent. Praise the Lord. What, you did it? Oh, no, I don't know that Christine one of my... We stopped as we got married. Yeah, hey.

Flushed it? Nope. It hung up. Ain't no growing up. Where? You know, and I come out and I said, hey, look, where's your plunger?

And he said, what are you talking about? I said, hey, this Cabot stopped up and me get it unstopped. See? That's a lonely walk, ain't. Well, no, because, hey. You can't leave it. But some people get scared, and then they just run. No, Christine got life.

She got terrible because, hey, she said, I come out there. Hey, no, about to rid of that duck call thing here. I come out and say, oh, hey, where's the plunger it? I think if I had a daughter, like when they had a date or something or the boy come over, think I'd slide in the guest bathroom and unhook the chain and send the, let the guy go in there. And then just see if he had the honesty to come out and say something's wrong. Well, it's going to plus one time because it's not if the chain's off of it. Oh, I got you.

Yeah. They can't do it. No, no, okay. I've been in a panic in a mini-a-bathroom with stuff taken apart. Oh, no. I'm pretty good at fixing the toilet. Hey, I panic when I was saying, I was saying, shut the water, I was saying, shut the water, I'll beg it.

We shut the water, I'll shut the water hole. Yeah, reach down there. Yeah, because they fix to come over and I'm going, no, no.

Oh, once it comes over, you're done. If that happens. Yeah, sell the house. Yeah, hey, it's all up to the top. I said,

oh, finally the stupid water shut off. If you are at a girlfriend or fiancée's, uh, parents' house and the water oak, just leave. It's over.

There's plenty of fish in the sea. Wow. And that's what maybe this person felt like when they broke the toilet. You're steadily making a bigger puddle. Don't come. clean. Just go.

The problem is they come back to work today because everybody's here. Everybody's here. So nobody said, no, I ain't going back. Okay. So you want me to go, I'll yell at everybody just for fun. No, no, how can you find out? I don't even want to yell. We don't even know.

No, no, I don't want to yell at anybody. I just want to go accuse everybody and then you can tell who it is. They'll get nervous. No. You think? Oh, yeah. It's the Willie way. It's not like a cop and a detective with lights on their eyes.

Hunter, can we take one of these cameras? You just, let me walk. Can we go for YouTube style? And say, I think you would have to use your phone. These cameras are pre-stationary. Let's call everybody in one at a time and question. Oh, hey, can you come see me in the duck call? Yeah, go see me.

Did you break the toll? Did you break the toilet? First person up is that new girl at the front desk, just to embarrass her. Get her. Just so she knows how this place opera. That's the problem. There's not enough people making fun of people in these halls anymore. Well, that's because nobody knows anybody.

Everybody's new. You should come to our hallway. They make fun of me every day. Well, Hunter, that's different. Yeah, but you broke the toilet. Hunter will come hide at my office from time to time, which is fine, because I'm really enjoying getting another guy. I don't know why.

By the way, we said we were going to circle back to this. Why are you dehydrated? Because he hasn't been to the bathroom today. I'm not dehydrated. Because he broke the toilet. I have a water bottle that I brought with me. I just, I don't know. I just haven't gone.

He said. I went to my apartment for lunch. I went to the bathroom there. Oh. Okay. Okay. I thought you hadn't been to the bathroom all day, Hunter. You had to go to.

I'm actually constipated again. Hold on. Hunter's constipated. No, that's a joke. That's a joke. Oh, okay. The problem with Hunter jokes is he edits the show, so I have no idea of it. That'll never make it. It actually will because Hunter's a great sport.

And an interesting human being. Hunter, you go to your girlfriend's house. You got a new girlfriend, y'all. Girlfriend's parents' house. Your girlfriend's parents' house. Still very new. You break the toilet seat. What do you do?

Panic and. run. I know I will panic. I will try and see if I can fix it so that way I won't admit it to anyone. Well, you cleverly disguise it so that they, I don't know. It's okay before they go back. Hunter is leaving it and crawling out of a window. No. No, he's not that athletic. I can hop out of a window. Thank you. I just, I have a lot more respect. There we go. Okay. Yeah. I will, I will try and fix it. I will not admit it. If I can't fix it, I'm going to text. my girlfriend into panic. Okay. And then I'll walk out and admit defeat. And then I'll- Tell her. Hey, you confess.

I come up to the dad and be like, I screwed up and I broke your toilet. There you go. Well, I think if admirable. I went back to the skate town last night. I did see that. I kept waiting for the Carter video. He wasn't feeling it last night.

He wouldn't. He would do a lap and then rest. Prez. Prez was just. My legs are on fire. Is this every Wednesday? now. Every Wednesday is Christian

night at Skate Town. Okay. And so y'all win again? I want to rename it. It seems exclusive. Worship night? Yeah, yeah, it would be better. But then people would show up the thing and they're going to sing.

Well, they can. I sang along a couple times. Yeah, the speakers are really loud. Ben's almost won the limbo. We practiced that. I got faster. I brought three pairs socks so I was ready this time. Yeah.

My legs are on fire. Any spills? Did not fall one? Oh, yes, it did. Yes, I did. was a bad one. Transfer? Standing up from the seat. Went down. Also, new experience, trying to teach

Carter who can't skate how to pee on skates in the bathroom. We broke the toilet seat, actually. That's the second one. But it was tough. But yeah, scat. I got a life. We were back. I forgot. I got a life moment in the boys' life.

Last night, for the first time, Waylon walked up to us and pointed at his rear end and said poop. All right. And the problem is he had pooped. I was like, okay, we're really close. I need to know before you do this next time. Oh, so he was like, hey, this is disgusting.

Now he's like, come see. I mean, that's the first time. I mean, they would run up to you like, you knew. They have this little look like. A little dance. Oh, man, I already know. Like, you have. Wait, how?

He's not even two. I know. He just turned 20 months, a year and eight months. Yeah. Does that even mean? I don't know. That's too much, man. man but yeah no but that was so i was like okay maybe we're on maybe we're starting a path to

no more diapers like i'm out a path not one day not saying oh next week we're going to be potty train you know like it gave me a window into a future that didn't include diapers and i it made me excited first glimpse of hope yeah yeah like i remember the last time when we were like let's throw the diapers well we didn't throw them way i think we gave them the the church or something, but it's like, get rid of this. And I was like, this is magical. Yeah. It feels a long time ago. What age, what age our kids supposed to be pot? I don't know. Everything, so then, of course, you know me. I was like, well, after they went to bed, I got online. They said, actually, one of the ideal times to start is right at 20 months to start

potty training. So, um. Boys are fun, though. You just shove them outside naked. Yeah. And have you said, you know, you know, they got the potty chairs, obviously. Do you know, they have urinals now. man that's so cool for boys like they have urinals with a little flusher that are like freestanding so you can go like stand it on your on your back porch or your patio and then go out there and pee in the little urinal and flush and like we didn't have a urinal yeah that's actually made by the folks that are here know what they're called newby or whatever the newby guys that are here yeah they're here yeah so so when bryson was young and learning to be potty trained we would put like fruit loops in the toilet and he would pee on the fruit loops and it was fun And he yelled, Daddy, come, come look, come see, come see. And I walked in. He was standing like up where the sink is about this high. Yeah.

And he's peeing in the toilet, which is over where sigh is. Somehow another he was hitting some of it in the toilet. Those were the days, wasn't they say? Hey, I'm judging. Yeah. Hey, he was like, come look at this. I said, that's great. Alicia, come clean this up.

Everybody got their story. I'm saying that pop don't work like that. I remember, yeah, buddy. I remember able to do that. Downhill. You know, to write your name on stuff now. Downhill from there. Them days is that.

I can think I could still sign JD. Well, yeah, I could, too. I could put my initials, but I ain't writing Justin Martin on nothing, not no more. Sire's writing Morse code, he said. So I was a very peeing in braille. Just a dot here in a dot. Here. That's terrible.

Oh, man. Hey, when me and Sal went to golf course. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. He and in Braille. I mean, that's funny. I don't care who you are.

Yeah. Martin, you should go on tour with stuff like that. Yeah, that's material right there. Oh, man. Send that to John Chris. Yeah. You need to get paid for that joke. No, I'm good.

That was funny. Hey, I'm good. I'm happy the toilet seats. paired everything's good. Pee and Embrail. Oh, Martin needed this for a little release. Yeah,

before I went in there and lost my cookies on everybody. Oh. No, it, yeah, so that, it was cool to see a potential path towards diaper, I know we got a long road ahead of us,

obviously, but, you know, it was neat. Yeah, that's good. Seeing that deal, I was like, okay,

all right. And we're almost done with swim lessons, too. So now they're, they're taking, they're swimming in their pajamas and their full clothes and, like,

I say, swimming like swimming in pajamas well that's in case they fall in when they're not expecting it and figuring out how to get their weight back up with a full wet set of clothes on with pajamas yeah things are progressing well for the for the martin twins so it's fun around there it's a lot of a lot of fun yeah i can enjoy it but i'm looking for it so he peed from the sink yeah yeah when they pee in the bathtub yeah i'm like wow i mean they they got some range on them it's impressive It's wild. Yeah, and, you know, they're at that age where they can learn so much and retain so much.

But one thing about mine is when they'd go to their grandfather's house, they would learn things that I don't want them to learn. How to light a lighter. Oh, yeah. You know how to do it? Oh, yeah. And Alicia was cooking breakfast one morning on a Saturday, and Bryson had been over at my father-in-law's, and he came downstairs. And he was probably about maybe two and a half. And she said, Bryson, you want some breakfast?

And he said, beep. Yes, I want some breakfast. Oh, what's beep? He beep. H-beep? Yeah, yes. Regular beep. The H-beep.

And Alicia said, Philip, can you go talk to Bryson? I said, Bryson, we don't say that word. He said, Papa says it. I was like, okay, but you got to teach and train them, you know? Oh, yeah, that's going to be, yeah. Papa says it. Yeah, they're already a little mockingbirds. Oh, my goodness.

The things you try to get them to say, like red, no. say one thing that's a little off color. Got that like that. That's why I said, hey, people don't realize. Trust me on our teeth, they're listening. And they want to be funny. Everything you say. Lottie went on a kick where she would get every question you asked her wrong on purpose

because she thought the letter W was hilarious. What's Kat start with? And she'd look you dead in eyes and go, W. And she'd start laughing. And we'd be like, no, Lottie, that's ridiculous. What's whales start with? just stare at you. She wouldn't answer that.

Lock up. Yeah. But what's dogs start with? W. And I was like, are you trying to fail? Capri-K. And she would be like, maybe. Yeah.

The youngest ones are terrifying. Lottie scares me. I only got two minutes difference in mind, so I don't know. I think it still works that way. Does it? I don't know. You'd have to ask somebody. The youngest one is a bottomless pit for groceries.

That's what he is right now. So, yeah, Jackson can eat. Boy's impressive. Is he going to spend 97% of his life in the Husky? Oh, yeah, we'll be navigating that together. I tell him, I teach him how to hide that a little label on your jeans and, you know, all the things. A little H back there on the Levi tags. We'll get rid of that.

Was that a thing? Oh, yeah. I went Husky until adulthood. I was the smallest kid in class. You were a late bloomer. Yeah. Yeah. Carter getting there, though.

That dude, he still likes to, like, run up and hug you like he's four. Yeah. I'm like, hey, man, you're bigger than your mom now. Oh, yeah. I love you, but, like, let's take a break before jumping. Yeah, let's pause and then hug. He'll knock you down. He's huge, especially on skates.

Philip, you used to be a roller skater, though, right? Yeah. You were, like, real into it. Yeah, well, yeah, we do a lot of roller skating and I can do it all. You do competitions? No. I would like, will you go with me to Christian? I'll go with you.

I'll go with you. I'll come back and give a report. Are you good at it? Yeah, I'm good at it. You're still good at it. We're going to, hey, we'll win the limbo prize for sure. You think you can beat eight-year-olds at limbo on skates? I think so.

Oh, sure you won them and can like put one leg out way in front of the other and keep going? Oh, yeah. Still? When was the last time you went skating? I don't know. Probably a few years ago. Hunter, get your camera. Phillips going to hurt himself.

It's going to be honest. We need video proof of those. Oh, I can do it. That'll be a good footage. Yeah. That's a confident man. Did you have like a signature move on skates? Triple luts?

No, I mean, I like skating backwards and forward and, you know, jumping up in the air and doing stuff. But I mean, that was when I was young. I accidentally. It's been a while. He said, hey, boy. Last night. I still got it. I still got it.

You still got it. It's like, you know, riding the bike. So did you roller skate a lot, sir? Yeah, I stayed on the floor most of the time. I wasn't very good at it. Aside, you've got good balance. Until I got so sore. He does.

He's got good balance. Okay. Yeah, I wasn't going to follow. It hurts. So everywhere I was pain. It was pain everywhere, so I ain't followed it. So let me ask you a question. In the woods, can you cross a log over a creek without falling off?

Yeah. I would have seen that. Yeah, I think he's got good balance. Depends on the log. for me i'm saying some of i get in the middle of and they're like nope i'm not the log is like no log's like no i've been here too long yeah yeah husky yeah that eight section again yeah get in the middle of the log and it's like uh no sorry bud and it gives way but i i i i i don't even try i have i have terrible me and logs have had a wonderful relationship what's that mean uh

Hey, my mother, when she'd get sick of us, would say, get into the falcon. We'd go 15 miles up river. She'd drop us off at the levee, Red River Levy. I don't want to see your ugly faces until summertime. Who was it? You and Phil and Tommy. Okay. And then we'd go to the river.

Fifteen miles. Find a log that was in, you know, work it free. Get on it, float down. You know, just all kinds of. just jump. 15 miles a long way. Oh, no. Not with a three mile an hour current.

Yeah, no. You'd be surprised how quick it does go. It's still five hours. Yeah, but hey. It's an afternoon. Yeah, but she didn't want them to be out after dark. She'd come pick them up for it. No, she didn't care.

No, she didn't care. Hey, dark or light? Oh, hey, dark or light? Hey, did you know, time about Philip wasn't here the other day. Did you know Si had a nickname growing up? No. Okay. Okay.

As a guy who spends a lot of time with him, I was... Hold on, but I would like to guess. Okay. So give me... If you guess this nickname that Phil hung on site when they were children after skipping school, I will be impressed. You've never heard anybody else called this. It's like a common one like Skippy or...

Sport. Spike. Fagger. Jugs out of it. He didn't wear clothes until he was nine years old. Nothing to do with nudity. Oh, hey, he said 14. Phil said 14.

Yeah. Nothing to do with nudity. I was a all-faced lie. I couldn't make it 14. Without going to jail. Yeah. Again. He said that's a ball.

Hey, who's the one that wrote the song, Stricker and sang it? Ray Stephen. Ray Stephen. Hey, that's what he wrote the song. That is a D. It's a jail. Too late. He doesn't have been.

He's the one with... Don't look, Alford. Too late. She's not got a free shot. Okay. Spunky. Wait, hold on. Is he the one with the squirrel in church song?

Mm-hmm. Yeah. That's a jane. The day the squirrel went berserk. That's what size should do, tell stories while, you know, if size BAM would have been Ray Stevens based, he'd still be in Branson.

Oh, yeah. We'd never see him again. No, we'd never see him again. It'd still be in Branson. I mean, we'd never see. That or Dollywood. I'm going one day. I'm committed to that.

Give me a clue. White perch. That's half of it. Okay. But without the white. Yeah. So like a perch legs. Man, you got real close.

Real close. He did. did with a body part. Yeah, that was impressive. Okay. Think about what I do. Fish don't have legs.

Think about what I do and then you get it. Uh. It's not sleep either. Oh, stanky leg. No. Perch is there. Hold on.

Perch is the right start. We got to pause. Perch lips. Hey. Perch mouth. Mouth. You was close. I think we missed something here.

Si said, think about what I do. And then Philip Yot. Oh, stanky leg. He's a. dancer. That's a move. The stanky leg. Well, back in the day, I did, hey, I did win a bunch of dancing

content. Your wife told me that you were a good dancer. Oh, hey. You could cut a road? Oh, what are you talking about? I was a player back in the day, sir. Well, that don't mean you can dance. Oh, no, no, no. What are you talking about? No, no, look, when I was at Fort Devon, Massachusetts, when I met my lovely intended. Perchmouth? Yeah, perchmouth. I went to a club in this fine. little effort was making a fool of all the guys that were

danced with her. And you married her? No. So I said, hey, hey, how do you make a fool? I'm up. You know, hey, we shut the floor down. Everybody else got off the floor and we had the floor the whole night long. What was your signature moved? No, no, whatever I did, I told my partner, I said, hey, whatever I do, follow me. You do with me. When I move, you move.

If I lean back, you get close to me, you lean over me and do the same move I'm doing. So, hey, hey, you know, we shut the floor down. You want to teach me? No. I'll do whatever you do. Hey, I was back in the day, son. Discos sucks. Cy, what is the, what's Perchmouth mean?

Because I got no idea. Hey, I have, he never told you? He just hung that on me one day. Hey, Perchmouth. Yeah. They all have a nickname for you. Mac. Yeah, other than my, yeah.

All right, Mac. You can do it. You can do it, somebody asks if we had a nickname for Phil. Yeah, is there anything you secretly call Phil Robertson? Behind his back? No.

That's what I said. I told him I had one. I said, it's charged with a, and it got a couple of asses. And it ends with a hole. And it ends with a hole. That was in the childhood days.

No, I think, that's one, that was BC. Yeah, I was BC. We got names to everybody else, but I never,

I never knew a nickname for Phil. I call him Rob. No, no, no, because, hey, everybody that Phil's ever run up on, he gives him a nickname. And Willie does it, too. Willie's good at it. What about Les? They call him an evil eye.

He got one eye. I met him one time. He goes, hey, John David, had met you. I said, what's your name? He goes, they call me evil eye. And I just had to hold it and try not to, like, lose it. I was like, oh, I can see.

Jersey Joe And you That one's over there Oh yeah Oh hey Evil has a good dude though Oh yeah He's a great guy

Great human No it's yeah Oh absolutely Yeah Okay well They never go away either Yeah I do You got something in that inbox

I got a couple Of interesting ones Um Martin By the way Hello at dot callroom dot com Not a lot of questions today

But a few shoutouts and this is one of the cooler ones I've seen. Sarah emails in with a picture of her daughter. They're from Farmersville, Ohio, and this six-year-old girl likes to do her makeup. Duck Dynasty style is what she calls it. Oh, she's cute. And she's holding a frog there.

You say she's from Farmersville, Ohio. Wait, does that say Farmersville? There's more than more. Yeah, that's what, okay. Anyway, she's holding the world's tiniest frog. Duck Dynasty is still making kids do weird. stuff. And I love it to this day, which is awesome. Yeah, Farmersville,

Ohio. Didn't know there was another one. Um, then we got cricket emails in. She's going through, uh, breast cancer treatment right now. Doesn't always feel good. But, um, she just wanted to say that our conversation,

unplanned, chasing rabbit tails, mindless is kind of a word that hurts cricket. And clean, hilarity is lifts her spirits every day. But then she did ask a question. She asked if we ever got the stolen reel back at the honey hole.

Did I ever clear that up? No, because I thought you did. They left it at some other. Yeah, they took it. Oh, no, we cleared it up that. So I did go to the other store and walk in and that was awkward just to go into, you know. Yeah, you got a rod mills to make stole from me.

Did they pawn it, Johnny D? No, no. So that guy called the story once we put your picture up on Facebook he called my dad it was the twin brother thing and we were like does he have a twin brother you haven't heard this so the guy called and said y'all got a picture of my twin

brother up there I'm gonna go get to real and if I will you take the picture of my twin brother down well it's a small town people know you he does also he doesn't have a twin brother so he did bring it back

and we have I took the picture down, though. He's got the Rod Realback. It's all good. It's hilarious. Twins are weird, by the way, Martin. You don't say. You got something against twins?

No, but then, look, so then this guy comes in the store the other day, and I know this guy, but he doesn't even say hello. And he's a salesman that comes by like twice a year, sits down, meets with us, and I'm like, why are you here right now? And why are you acting weird?

And I'm like, it's for sure. him and I keep apparently I stared at him long enough that guy and he's from south of I-10 he goes yeah you think uh you know my brother huh and I was like I don't are you not your brother and he was like yeah we're twins and I was like good great sounded just like him he was just a customer yeah he just came in that he wasn't even a sales route no it was just a twin brother and like you want to talk about identical it was weird mine ain't gonna be able to that kind of shenanigans they don't even look like so yeah you just look way different yeah My nieces pulled it on me the other day.

I still can't tell them apart. They lied to me because they were in a contest of who could do the best belly flop. Or no, it was the best dive. And one of them was terrible. She messed up and she belly flopped. That's what happened. And I was like, all right, Stella gets a zero. And then Stella was like, it wasn't me.

It was Kinsey. And I was like, wait. What? I'm out. And for 10 minutes, they both just sat there and argued about which one. And I was like, there's no way to say. I can't dispute it. And to speak it.

Cricket also told a story. She emailed, and again, they planted some dogwood trees at the front of the neighborhood. And someone stole trees. Stole their trees? A live, a small tree. Yeah. But they stole their trees. Somebody dug up their trees.

How do you steal a tree? Why would you steal a tree? What have you wanted a tree? Just go to fastgrown trees.com. That's right. They'll go over them to your door. You don't have to go for theft. You don't have to go for theft.

All right. And then I have another one. This one is super interesting to me. They just wanted to say thank you, all the fun stuff. But wait until you hear this kid's name. This lady's a single mom. She's got four kids. Reagan, Remington, Declan, and Imogene, right?

So the youngest couldn't say Declan. So they she's always He's always called her brother Ducky Well now he's older This kid just gets called Duckman by everybody Well good for him And he's eight years old Look at this guy

He's just the Duckman Oh yeah Well why wouldn't he be Look at that hair Duck Man Is that not the coolest Look at that hair Why wouldn't he be

Well you know how all them Like football players End up like Kool-Aid This dude's just gonna be Duck Man for his entire life And that's the best one I think I've ever heard Yeah that's tight

that he needs to get a change on his birth certificate that is more difficult than you think you can get a tattoo though what just duck man duck man no we don't get no tattoo why not don't johnny d's got 50 of them that's not even close to true 55 no I have

oh wait visible ones I have five let's say I know you got visible one I know you got four so what are the four well you got three kids and you got the one on your arm I got two of them on oh I was with you for one of on your arm. He was. He got one on his lower back. For 10 minutes. Yeah, I mean, once the needle got to pop and I left, I said, I'll see you back at the room. I wouldn't do it. I ain't staying in

here. No. No needles. Hey, here's the deal, though. You can't, if you're going to get a tattoo, that's, you know, try that in a small town. That's not something you want to do. That thing's going to stay with you. So if you go to a big town, you get them there. Yeah, we went to Vegas. Or we were in Vegas. We didn't go to Vegas for a tattoo. If you looked at my kids' names, you'd be like, oh, that one's way better than the other two. It's just simple names. One was done in Nashville, two were done in Westmoreau. It just is what it is. The ones in

Westmanor aren't that good? You know, people struggle. There's some decent ones in what? Why are you giggling? My best was Hunter's audible giggle in the back. Hunter, do you have any tattoos? I do not have any tattoos. I think that's... That's your girlfriend? She's, yeah.

Oh, what? Hold on. Where are the? Questions. Where are they? I know she's got one on her thigh Where's the other ones? Yeah You got him He look, he can't talk

Hunter Breathe Caught him in a trap I don't know I can't remember I've never seen Hunter turn red like that Cyb you were to get a tattoo What would you get it of?

Go No No No Just the word No no hey No No no

No tattoos What if you got a Me and needles do not get a lot. Dragon on your back. Ooh, now it's tempting. My son's got that. Because he heard about the story? No, he just put a big dragon on his back.

He probably did hear the story. Oh, does he really? Yeah. Scott's got a big dragon. Yeah, he's got a dragon on his back. Interesting. And he's got fired red on it. Really?

Yeah. So maybe it was the story. Well, he was raised by you. Yeah, he probably heard a bunch of stories. Martin, you getting any? No. Why not? Rennie's got like 14.

Mm-hmm. She doesn't have 14. She's got one, well, one, or like two or three that morphed into one. So I don't really know how you count. If I want to get one. There we go. Here we go. What I would get.

The gospel symbols. Nope. No, no, hey. Nope. Perch mouth. Nope. Yeah, right across your shit. Flowers.

Yep. Either a big yellow rose or red rose. Real flowers. That would be tight. That would be tight. That's got it close. Would you get it like up to where you could. see it on your neck.

Yeah, get a neck tattoo. You can't see it there. A bouquet of red roses on my chest. When I had to move my senior year in the middle of it, from Vivian Louisiana down to South Louisiana, Gonzales. I've never heard of it. Look, every year down there on certain time,

I don't even know when it is, but they go to all the graveyards and put fresh flowers on all the graveses. Oh, yeah. So the vendors, there's thousands up on the side of the road with all these. Well, hey, they're known as gray flowers. Grave flowers. You buy them and go put them on the gray.

Yeah. Yeah. So look, I drove by there. I'm working. I'm piping. Making big money. You know, so I look, I pulled them pretty, you know. So I pulled over, you know, and I said, how much these things, you know, for a couple of big bouquets of them, you know?

And they said, oh, there ain't much, $30 a piece, I think, you know, something like that. I said, well, give me about four of them, different ones, different colors. Flowers are flowers. Yeah, so I come home, the next door neighbor is a Cajun. Okay, and she's at the house. I come in with just an armful of flowers and talking about, well, Mama, I saw these, and I said, hey, there you go. Mama's boy, that's good.

Yeah. Yeah. And she said, she just had a shock to expression on her face, the Cajun lady did. and she said, what are you doing? And I said, what are you made? She said, them are grave flowers. And I said, well, hey, they're also beautiful flowers. And I said, hey, she won't be able to enjoy them in her grave.

Yeah. I said, so I'm going to give them to her while she can actually smell them and, you know, and look at them and see their beauty. Yeah, flowers are flowers. Yeah, yeah. She's looked, she said, I've never thought of it. I said, well, hey, I didn't know they was. great flowers.

Yeah, it didn't say that on the side. Yeah, it didn't say that, yeah. Kind of like in bags it say deer corn. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How many squirrels won't eat it. No, they can't. It doesn't say squirrels. It doesn't say squirrels.

Rack and sure eat it. First Peter, five, six, and seven, because a lot of people emailed in kind of going through tough times and just were thanking us for encouragement. That was a majority of what I read today. But for all those people who are going through tough times,

first Peter, five, six, and seven, humble yourselves, therefore under God's mighty hand that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Hey, and this is for the lady that was going through breast cancer. By the good Lord, look down and take that from your body, darling, and give you a healthy recovery. Amen.

All right. We'll see y'all next time right here in the duck call. Is it over already? It's open. Are we still in leisure? Are we falling off?