Duck Call Room - Why Uncle Si's Beard Is Shorter on One Side

Episode Date: February 25, 2021

Si Robertson has a suave hat, a whole lot of energy, and a bunch of crazy stories about his college days. Si also shares his best fishing stories of all time, and they involve 2 fractured ribs, a 7-foot freshwater eel, and a 200-pound redfish. Martin has a theory on why Si's beard is shorter on one side, but Si has other ideas. John-David sports a new look. Phil, Jase, and Al left a big mess when they recorded "Unashamed" in the duck call room last week. Phillip makes Si a $100 bet about Si's favorite Bloody Mary mix. And Si drops the show's first "that's what she said."    - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So folks, we've heard y'all, we've listened. Look, starting on March 16th, we're actually going to go to two episodes of this podcast a week. Twice. And they will be on Tuesdays and Thursdays. If you're watching on YouTube, the only place you're going to be able to find the new Tuesday episode will be the brand new duck call room YouTube channel. It's at YouTube.com slash duck call room, all one word, no spaces, none of that. So the Tuesday episodes will only be there, not the Duck Commander channel. While we're building that one up, we're still going to put the Thursday.

episodes over to the Duck Commander channel, but jump over there, subscribe to the new Duck Call Room and we're going to give you a part of a giveaway. So the new subscribers, the Duck Call Room channel on YouTube, we're going to do a giveaway. I appreciate y'all listening to this point. Now let's get into this week's episode. New YouTube. I got a new haircut. So I got a new shirt. And a new watch. Weird day. Without further ado, I'm just going to kick it off. off and say, man, what a week we just experienced here in North Louisiana. No, no, no, no. I'm

thinking, is the rest of the world finally thawed out? We are, thank God. Texas? Yeah. That's bad business over it was. We finally beat Texas at something other than football. We kept our power.

But the only reason we kept powers, because we got ripped a new one from two hurricanes. If we hadn't had done that and lost every tree over every power line, we'd probably been out of power I would just say, 2020 was not good. All right, and 2021. He ain't started much better, it ain't looking much better, boys.

He slow out to shoot, ain't it? So all you folks out there are you all good? I hope you are, and I hope it's warm. How was the snowstorm at your house? Hey, look, I was like a bear. Was you? I was like a big grizzly bear. I went into hibernation.

You do that during June, so that don't surprise me. Hey, when it dropped below 60, no, I got to break out of coat. That's what happens when you come from Vietnam on 115 every day to Massachusetts. Okay, Boston, Massachusetts up at Fort Devons where they have snow about 10 months out of year. No, I can't do that. I found out after five days, I'm not equipped to live places where you can't walk outside. Oh, no, no, that's why I'm called a fair weather hunter. Guarantee.

Because when the eye shows up, you. Guess what? The old boy here is gone. The kid is gone. He's still at the house under a blanket sleeping. Oh, I can tell you. Our power went out for a little while. Did you?

Oh, yeah, you were the night I lost power because we live right there by each other. About an hour. Wait a man. You're the one that called me and told me if the power goes out. Come to my house. That's right. Come to my house. And then my power went out.

It's a good thing my power just blink every once in a while. I never did go off. You just had a few flickers? Yeah. I had a few flickers and every time it did. Well, here's what... Hold on, hang on, hang on. Here's what I learned about that power going out when it's that cold outside.

It was only off for, what, an hour? About an hour. Hour, hour and ten minutes, something like that. It got cold up in that house quick. Oh, yeah. I'm talking about cold. Yeah, that's why when I get to seeing these commercials on what is, generics. Yeah.

Mm-hmm. You may ought to look into water. Yeah, I was thinking about... You could probably power y'all. What is the, give me our estimate here. here son. But how much is this going to set me back? I did get you an estimate, remember?

The whole home general. That ain't why I ain't got one. Yeah, that's why you ain't got one. Okay. That's what I, I knew it had to be something with money. So I drove by to check on Si, me and my wife, and I mean, there's nobody driving down the roads on Sy's road. The mayor, the mayor of Phil Pot, I mean, that's what they call, Sye.

No, they say I'm the mayor of the Balkan v. Balking me. They've made my territory of bigger boys. Expanded his territory. So I knock on the door and finally Miss Christine comes the door and she says, come on in, you know, we're sitting busy and how's everything going? We're fine. We're good.

What time of day is this? This is like 1 o'clock. He was at your house. You don't know? Oh, no, he don't know. He was, he, look. I thought. 12 on is noon.

Noontime. That's nap time, son. It sounded like a bear in the back room. I said, what's going on? She said, oh, that's this sigh back there sleeping. It's the bear hibernating, son. So you legitimately just slept through the week. Hey, I didn't mind the cold a bit because I never did leave the house.

He didn't even go outside. One time I'd done like sweet pee, I went to the one in the look and I said, oh, ain't them pretty icicles? And guess where I went back to? The bad. So you didn't chase Christine around the house with snowballs or nothing? like that? Y'all didn't have no snowball fights. I'm going to go slid.

I'm done to tell y'all. If you see me running after anything, get your gun and shoot what's chasing me. Oh, Lord. Maybe another young woman. Who knows? Oh, my goodness. So, Sa?

Oh, hey, they're still after me. Oh, guarantee. They ain't after you, son, after that bank account. I got a question. What is Cy wearing? Oh, this is a t-shirt. I must have missed out on that. Are we confused?

Are we confused about? Are we confused about the insulated underwear, the shirt, or the hat? Which one are we? For those listening. There's no white in front of me here. Tell me, get out. Hey. Hey.

For those just listening and not watching, he's standing up, taking his hat off. I don't know what he's doing. I'm going to fix him to lay his hat down. Oh, you're getting rid of a hat. Lay it down. Lay it down. So I walked in with a felt hat. Okay.

So, hey. Look. J.D. I don't know what's... Don't make me unboxed that. He also brought his pistol in for me to repair,

so we've already got that out of the way. And he said he might pistol whip me. So... He's always wanted to pistol whip somebody. The one that plays in Diehardt. Bruce Willis. My, my toll is always, you've got to be prepared, son.

Be prepared. He's prepared. Be prepared. And behind him, he's got his oxygen machine. So he is prepared for him. They may come his way. I was huffing puffing puffy coming in there, but now that I've sent out

and relax. I'm all right. Oh, well, that's good. Well, I ain't going to break it out. Hey,

you got to learn to get off of it every once while. He's, you know, we're waiting himself off the oxygen. Those too, boys. Doctors orders.

Robbing it down. Yeah. Those are just suggestions. Yeah, that's a suggestion. Oh, my goodness gracious. Well, hey,

I'm telling you, I just, I realize five days inside is too much. I went so crazy that I shoveled my driveway. Yeah, that was loony too. That's what I did

to get out of the house. I mean, how? He was sick. Yeah, I'm telling you I was. Well, the biggest thing is I was trying to not to become a domestic abuse statistic. I think my woman was about to beat me. We don't have way too much time inside together. Hey, that's the thing. Look, the pandemic, the divorce rate is sky high.

Guaranteed. Hey, because everybody's got to stay home, afraid to get sick. Hey, divorce rate went up like, oh, good grief. You know, like at what are that thing? We got a commercial about what we do, getting your score up. Oh, yeah. Scoremaster, yeah. We're going to get to that one here a little bit.

Scoremaster. No, divorce rate is up like 50%. That probably makes that scoremaster go down if I had to get it. Oh, well, that's true. That's probably so. It's not good for the bank account. Because you've got to have mama, okay, to spend Papa's money. Yeah, well.

That's why Papa had to get a brand new bag. I'm just telling you. I'm not made. The thing about the pandemic was when they first told us to stay at home, we'd still go fishing. This thing, you couldn't go fishing. You couldn't get out your drive one. No, you just don't there.

Unless you want to ice fish. And who wants to do that? I think so. I tried it once. That's done. Yeah, that's off the bucket list. Yeah. We got a bunch of emails this week making fun of us because we won't ice fish.

And after just looking outside this week, I'm never going to. No. I'm not made this. Well, hey, I have tried it. It was 20 below when we went. And look, and people are driving pickups, okay, with street tires out on this lake that's covered with two, three foot of snow. Nope.

But then one that said, you know, eh, ain't going nowhere. I said, well, he's going to spend the night ahead of it. And long as he's got gas, he's all right. That'll be all right. But hey, but what that gas running out, he figured it's cold. I'll tell you what else we did while we were there. But since we were there, we went ahead and,

got on the sled and rode the sled with the dogs. Dog sled. Awesome. Dog sledded. Awesome. That was probably the best part of the trip. You were a musher? Oh, no, no, no.

Back in them days when that's how they got around and when it was north to Alaska for the gold rush and all that. You'd have never made it. He's putting his hat back on. My hat is off to them boys. And now he's taking it off. Because I ain't in their class. Trust me.

I'm not even in the class. people that live north of like Missouri can't do it. I can tell you right now after this experience your boy is as far north as he's going. I ain't uh-uh. Hey, Jake is fixing to move. Who is? Jace. I'm telling you. Where's he? He's already moved

like, you know, he's in between West Monroe and Austin, Texas, because of his daughter going to school. And both of them just got shut down, sir. Are you telling me that stuff follows Jay's? Well, no, no. But Jay's, I'm talking about if Jay's fixing to go north for one,

thing. Greenheads. No. Okay. He's fixing to move north to kill some more ducks. Is he? Yeah, probably. It wouldn't surprise it. He's doing so well in the stock market, he's going to have the money to do it. So, hey. Well, I'm just glad he's found all his free time since he don't work here

anymore. I'm glad he's found something to time. Well, hey, he didn't work when he was here. I know. But they did come do their podcast here. And left it a mess. The unashamed crew did roll in here and just, just crap all over our set pretty much.

Well, what's the unashamed crew doing in our set? Because they got ashamed to living down there, so they come up here. It was too icy. Yeah. They had to meet up here. Okay, nothing was working down there. Okay. I guess.

I see it. I see it. I came by my house and got the key. I went outside in my slippers and shorts and nearly died of freezing. Yeah, we had to get Phil, Al and Jace a key. We had to drop them a pen on where the office was because it's been so long as they've been here, They don't forgot that. They didn't know how to get in.

Didn't know the security code. Didn't know nothing. But the rest of us do. No, no. I mean, you... That's a Robertson thing. Well, you know where it is. You know how to get here?

Well, hi, yeah, but you started saying keys and office, what is, the combination to the little... Piquity-de-be-be-be-be-be-be-a-peat. Hey, the Robertson ain't into that. Now, Jason's it into it, you know, because of his stock market stuff. you got to lock up all that money so jace is moving north that's just my opinion i'm going it won't look it won't shock me when he comes up and says yeah i'm going to you know canada is or somewhere up there for it you know they take a chainsaw to duck hunt yeah i'm going to porto yeah cancun the music and the women boys it out so look you can tell size had a week off

but look he's rested up size energy level is a little bit higher today, Martin. I can tell. He's like the scoremaster of the divorce. Huh? My oxygen level is down and my energy level is up. What's with the damp? You're recovering.

Oh. So, look, while you're recovering, let's take a break to recover from what we've heard so far. We'll be right back. All right, look, springtime is here. It's warming up. You know what that means? That means more outside cooking.

And y'all know. We love to eat beef around here. And that's what, of our friends over at Tritels Beef makes such a good product, ain't it good? It's so good. Our friend, Sal Robertson would say, buy on the grill!

Look, before we got Tritels, getting ready for a cookout, man, somebody had to run the grocery store, do all the things, grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day. And you never really know where that beef comes from. But with Tritales beef, we skip the grocery store and do it a different way. Tritels comes from a family ranch out in Texas.

They're a fifth generation American ranch, So they've been at it for a while. Now look, the beef comes straight from their ranch and other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way. Their steaks are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door. We threw a couple of ribbys on the grill.

Look, salt, pepper, garlic, hot fire, that's all you need. Look, because I'll tell you what, when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living, you can taste the difference. The tenderness and the flavor are fantastic. So if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season, go check out Tritails Beef.

I know in size case, Christine loves it, which is just a, she doesn't eat meat. She ain't a big meat easier, folks. Yeah. Just go to trybeef.com slash. That's tribeef.com slash support ranch families and eat some dang good steak. Yeah, I remember you boys, you Robertson boys hate technology, but I love it. Because while we're doing this podcast, I'm sitting here watching my buddies fish. No, no, no, no, no.

I don't have nothing against it. He's for it. You just don't want it. I know, I'm for it. It hates him. It hates him. Except, if I touch that, it would probably destroy JD's phone. Okay.

Because it's something about me that technology does not like. Trust me when I tell you, I've tried to help Sy with all this stuff, you know. It won't work. It's not going to work with him. It won't work. Well, that's why you got to get you a guy. Oh, wait, you've got one. He's got a guy.

He's got my handler. And he does use it, but he just uses it through me. Well, no, no. That's a Robertson thing, too. No, no, that's a Robb thing because Phil said, oh, I've never owned one. I've never done a lot. Martin, get me his K on the phone. Tell them we're coming back.

Get lunch ready. You know, give him his guy and say, see what's for dinner. Weather report. Yeah. My favorite. Hey, check that one to see where that storms at. My favorite Philism is, oh, I don't need a watch. I just say it's a little in the morning.

It's almost noon. It's after lunch. And then the first thing, every morning. It's what time is. Yeah, how much time we got too legal? I don't need no watch. How much time we got to the legal? That's right.

It's like, huh. I thought you didn't need a watch there, you know. As long as you got people with you with all this stuff, it's fine. Yeah, he's a good manager. That's how Willie is too. Willie will text me pictures of things that he wants me to order off of Amazon for him. I'm like, you can see the button. Yeah.

Just press that one. Now. Add the cart. Now. Add the car. Screenshot it, send it to me. Son, you'll understand. When you get the kind of money that Willie's got,

hey, you don't punch. You don't punch. No buttons. You pay somebody else just to punch the buttons. I'm just going to say I'm glad you're confident I'm going to have the kind of money Willie's guy. Oh, yeah. Mark that one down.

Hey, if you hang around someone long enough, if you hang around you long enough. Osmosis will kick in and you will get part of it, okay? Osmosis. That's why I'm surrounded myself by you once a week and Willie does. Hey, Friday, boys. Let's go. Go for it. Martin. You got to recognize you can.

cash chaos, son. That's all it is too. Sy, did you watch the weather channel at all last week? No, because it's disheartening to watch it. Disheartening. Well, you'd have got a pretty good chuckle from when they were standing in front of Academy doing a live one, and

your nephew went down there and did donuts behind it. Do we know that guy? No, I'm just I'm sure, yes, I'm sure we do. Did we actually know who it was? So on the weather channel, JG? Oh, I don't know who it was, but I guarantee you Someone was behind the camera. And it was a hundred.

You could see it from the front door. I'm like, hey, look, they're right in front of work. And all of a sudden, there's some redneck and the biggest truck you've ever seen just doing donuts behind the weather. Yeah, that'd be J.G. And the cameraman was just moving, trying to get him out of the view every time. He's never driven on ice before. No, that truck, you were right where to be, baby. All I saw was the Finn Commander sticker on back.

Oh, hey. Was there a way? Was there really one? Speaking of that, I can't wait until. It gets warm enough for all that to crank back up. What, fishing? Oh, yeah. You can go right now.

Yeah. No, hey. They got to be biting. They've been freezing the death for a week. Yeah. But hey, look, no, that's a rule. I don't go to the lake and freeze my tail off just to catch a white perch. Oh.

He's got stoned. I will go out and burn up to do it. Yeah. Well, I like them both. I'm ready to go fishing. That's for sure. We're We're, and you both

Yeah, we're getting there Because I don't go fishing You go catch I go catching Okay, because Stone has got all this Sonar equipment It's a good thing he does, okay Because all I do is get in the boat

Cast here No, no, no No, I get in the boat Stone said Boom-Bum He says, okay, this is the first one He throws out the buoy He throws out the second buoy

And says, okay, right there between them two buoys it's about a two-foot square hit it and then give it a 10 count. Hey, as long as you hit that square and say, one, two, three, four, five, six, six, seven, seven, eight, nine, ten. And we're going to continue. Bing, ding, ding, me, me. Hey. Oh, about a pound and a half.

Throw them in a bus. That's what fishing is now. That's how stone fishes. Hey, oh, yeah. That's the only way we fish, son. Oh, yeah. They on them clear water black crappies. Hey, if it's about fire cats,

and they ain't, uh-uh. Moving on. Next, next brush top. Yeah. And look, what's good about it? You're looking at big screen there, and we pulled up the one, he said, you've got to come and look at it.

I'm up the front of boat sitting down. And look, I wish it had been night. Because this looked like a giant Christmas tree, okay, and they didn't have colored lights. They only had white ones. and look, this giant tree, oh, they must have had a thousand lights on it. You know, and stone's shit, but they're little.

There's all a little bitty crappie. The lights he's talking about is crappies. Yeah. Oh, okay. Y'all never seen a side image and sonar screen. Hey, yeah. We do it the old fashion way in the pond behind my house. It was literally, hey, 1,000 crappie in that tree, but hey, there's all about this size.

And I mean. Hand size. I'm talking about, hey, you throw it in there and let it get to about 18. 18. But hey, as fast as you can get it down to 18, boom. But ain't enough funny, too. A lot of size fishing stories, I mean, I wouldn't believe them, but I have seen a lot of them. Oh, hey.

Now I believe a lot of them. A lot more of them. FinC commander is filming this, okay? So every time we raise that lid on that cooler when we're fixing a leave. There's somebody in the background doing, Donuts and something. Well, that's people doing backflips and everything. Yeah, it's just a circus because when they look in there and see that level four

with them black crappie. Black copy. Yeah. And then the next best thing is, tell me when we're going to have the fish fry. Yeah. For those of y'all listening, they're on that cany lake bag. Y'all leave Darbonne alone. That's where I stay.

Oh, hey, you can have Darbonne. You can have Darbonne. That's a garhole anyway. Oh, it ain't no gar hole. No. No. Hey, I'm just being, I'm joking. Yeah, I mean, it is a garhole.

Don't go up there. We fished darbone when he was in college. Yeah, ain't no fish left in it, y'all caught them all. In between my majors and minors, I did make it to the lake and fish. What was your major? Hold on. Partying was the major. Women was the minor.

Boom. And both of them go together. Call me later. Did you pass either one of them? Oh, I made A and both of them. Did I get a degree? Pong! So that means you pass party.

There you go. I get it. I see the correlation now. Mom said she was. was paying for it and she said I said mom you wasting your money she said well make it a good one well I did how many years did you go to college one semester oh so that was all I could take college was the best 12 years of his life hey no JD no that was second grade it didn't take it didn't take me eight years to get a master's degree to figure out that the little man is always

going to be their little man okay society is set up to keep you where you're at Oh, boy. And look at you. It's only going to be a few big dogs, okay? And you're one of them. Hey, right. It only took you 68 years to maximize potential. No, hey, he finally made it.

Hey, you might be the mayor, but you're still the mayor. Oh, no. Yeah, but hey, guess what? The creator is responsible for all of this, okay? I had nothing to do with it. I'm just alone for the ride and folks. it has been a great one. Oh, we ain't done yet.

And I still got a few years left. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah, heck yeah, you do. Oh my goodness. Oh. What school did you go to? Hard knocks.com. That's it.

That's not true. Did you ever go, Jay-D, you should have knew that was coming. I didn't even have to say it. We need to. We need to. We're going to the hard knocks, boys. So did you ever actually sign up for a class and attend it? I made a few.

You made it? Where? Huh? At Tech. Louisiana Tech. Louisiana Tech. Hey, I ain't know it. They got them, what do they call?

Classes? Yeah. No, no. Teachers. Textbooks? No, no. The classroom is the professors down at the bottom. Ampitheater.

Ampitheater. Classroom. Amphitheater. classroom. You can nap in the back of those. I'm surprised you didn't like going there. Oh look. Hey, I didn't have to nap. Okay. You didn't nap back then. We're learning a lot today. Oh, no. Look, teachers are needed and most of them, okay, are really great. Look, hey, I wouldn't be where I was at. I had great teachers all the way up. But some of them, you know, especially if they were specialized teachers. Oh, uh-oh.

Like a professor that's got MD behind his, you know, or pH behind. Yeah, there we go. Ph. Not a medical doctor. Yeah, pH. If they've got that behind there, you got to watch him. Okay, because we had one. Now, you could ask him, give him any date in history, and he could tell you everything about it.

But, no common sense, because, hey, look, he was on the first floor for, 10 years, okay, they moved him to a two-story building. Well, he was used to, the campus is getting bigger, okay, and he was used to sliding out the window on the first floor, okay, to go to the next class, not to get in the stampede in the hallways. Well, guess what? They moved him up to second story. The bell rung, he slid out the second story, wouldn't I, and broke both legs.

I refuse to believe any of that story. Where was that? Is that why you were in? Louisiana tech. Johnny D. Check it out. We're going to fact-check that while we take a break. We're going to fact-check that while we take a break.

He probably will not find it. And I want to vote on it too. Believe it or not. They're checking me with technology. All right. And then they're going to vote on it. What year was this? 19-20?

I think it was in 67 when I want to. So Johnny D. We're back from break. Did a professor fall off? out of window at Louisiana. No, he got no recollection. Not enough data. Not enough data, Boris.

Google does not have any time. Google does not have it. Okay. So therefore. Especially since there was no names and no professional what he taught, nothing like that. I just figure if a professor fell out of window, it'd make the news. In 1961. Voluntarily or involuntarily.

I just figured it'd make it. And broke both of the legs. I'd be like you could jump out a second story window and not break both legs. That's a long fall if you hit concrete. Yeah, that's tough. Two stories. That's not. He may have fell in on a fly a bed or something. I don't know.

Clearly not. He broke both legs. I can't tell you because he wasn't there. No, no. Or it didn't happen. Another one of my experiences at Louisiana Tech. Uh-oh. Yep.

Okay. Okay. And I think he taught English. Okay. I'm interested. Look, the rule was if you was there 15 minutes, okay, and the professor did not show us. up you can leave.

Yeah. See, I don't think that was ever a rule per se. I think I just wanted to. Well, we may have made it up. That's what I'm talking about. The students may have made it up, but anyway. Kind of like the one that's just. So, hey, we're all in the classroom,

and this little bitty small classroom, there's 60 people piled in this little thing. We're from shoulder to shoulder. His desk is up front, and there's a big trash can behind it, you know. So they start counting it down. Hey, we're down to it, boys. The time is coming out.

I even got, you know, 10, 9, 8, seven, six, five, four. Well, you hear a little paper rattling. And, hey, when they got to one, he jumped up by the giant trash can. I said, you thought you wasn't going to make a tough class today, did you? He said, turn the page so-and-so.

They pulled him out and he had two broke legs. That's how they fit him in the trash can. That was your class. There he was. There he was. You were in that class? I was there that day. You went to class three times and had some pretty.

You got jumped out of a window, got jumps out of a trash can. If you went to school the same day as I did, people were jumping out of stuff. Yeah. Well, that's. There you go. There you go.

Hey. Interesting. College 101. Yeah, he never got to 102. That's right. Hey. Oh, my goodness. We never did make it until one.

Oh, okay. It was one. just went a couple days Jason only went what He took bowling And that was about it I thought that was Willie that took bowling No wellie graduated

That's the thing that gets me about education When you get up there to get close to the Get your degree They have what they call electives I think Oh yeah you gotta have a lot of them Here's some of the electives that you've got to do And look this is for higher education

I can't wait Ballroom dancing. Boom, boom, boom. Basket weaving. I never got those options. I did take volleyball. I took a class called volleyball and pickleball. Did you really?

I took tennis classes. I didn't get it. At Abilene Christian University. I didn't get none of them. My electives were Latin. Maybe I need to look up and see what the definition of electives are. Apparently, Martin is the educated. man.

He doesn't educated man. Now I really hate him. He's a biologist. I went to college way longer than Martin, but Martin's got a way higher degree than me.

Hey, it is what a deal. He has to pull that off. Who, me or him? How did you pull off? You went a shorter time and he got a higher degree than JD, and he's with this long term and he ain't got a duly squat.

I didn't mess around when I got there. Plus he's related to you and the Robertson crew. No, I'm not. J.D. I am not related. Uh-huh. But, no, I went six years to get a four-year degree.

It just took me. Well, hey. That happens. I bounced around. You wasn't in no big rush. Not at all. Well, because I was going to go to nursing school. Uh-oh.

Filled out that application. You probably should have done better by going to a nursing and getting a degree. Well, I did get a degree. You're saying he should have been a nurse. Well, hey, Bernie's a nurse? I know. That's a good. Hey, could you?

Hey, nurse burly. That scares me to death. No, no, no, no. Here you are. Nurse Burley. You just had surgery and you're coming out from an anesthetic. What are you looking? Here's J.D.'s face in front of you. That's what I'm saying.

Come on. Time for your bathed. Yeah. No, I'm out on that. Yeah, no, there was a day. I had the application filled out. I made the highest score of all the guys, which was only three of us, to get on the entrance of three.

And ain't bad. Hey, as me a little said, hey, one out of three. He said two out of three. But that's how many he beat. So he beat 2 out of 3. I filled it out. I said, what am I doing? And now I'm sitting next to you all these years later.

I know. Hey, you have probably been better off being a nurse. You've big money in nurses. That's the rumor. If you can put up with it, since I've got a good friend of some nurse. And he's always talking about what he's got to go through. Oh, you're not real good with nurses and doctors and medical people. Oh, being nurses and doctors do not get it on.

See, that's the reason I didn't want to be a nurse. Yeah. There was a class designed to scare people like me. And he finally showed up. No, he didn't show up. But people, they were like, ah, sometimes you get old ornery men who lied to you about their medicine. And I was like, I don't think I want to do this. Yeah.

Look. You had one job as a nurse. You got to understand it. I didn't realize I was that bad off as I was. Okay. Until I got in here and everybody did this here was somebody. but you big liar. We asked you, and you just lied flat.

The only person you didn't lie to when we was around was your wife. I said, well, the reason I'm going to lie to hers. He's like to whoop me if I lie to her. That story checks, out. You got to, you know, hey, you got to know, hey, you got to know what side of your bread, buttered on, boys. I did check into this story a little bit further. And come to find out, all the size days were running together.

So he didn't know one day from the next. X when he was going through all that and he was like, I thought I just took my medicine. That's a good point. Because you were sleeping, what? 19, 20 hours a day. Well, hey, you got to understand. Yeah, but that's just a casual Tuesday.

Somebody's always saying, hey, did you take your meds? The easiest answers, yes. Yeah. That makes sense, though. He had no clue what day. The honest truth is, I can't remember. There's too many people got my face. You take him rest?

Liar. Yeah. Liar. Liar. All right, so here we are. He is not a liar. Nope. He just really sleepy and really confused.

Oh, you got that was. And 95% truthful, which we already knew that. No, no. Hey, like, I guess it hits everybody differently. But I'm telling you, when you think about it, a microscopic, whatever you only call it. Virus. Virus.

Call him a virus. Bug. I think that's what they're calling them. Yeah, a bug bites me. Mm-hmm. And immediately. okay. This one didn't even have to bite you.

Oh, hey. Well, he entered my body when he did. The little hole he entered. Okay. Hey, all my energy said, who was gone. I love it. That right there is as scary as it is.

I don't love that. Yeah. Yeah. But then, you know, like Stone was coming up every day and saying, hey, old man, get out of bed. You got to do this. You got to move. You got to move.

Yeah. What he didn't realize was, Stone. I'm scared to get out of bed because I don't know if I can stay up right. But way back on the fire, so we aren't. Oh, yeah, no, we've covered. We don't trod that trail, son. We'll get off of him. Look, I want to, you're ready for fishing?

Give me, what is your best fishing story? I need to know Cy Robertson's best fishing story. Buckle up, because I'm sure this is going to be. No, no, no, no. It ain't got to be when you caught the most. I don't know a Cy fishing story. The best one was, and I didn't even. get to see what it was.

Okay. Now, this is a fishing store. Okay, I like it. We down there with Josh, okay. We, in a big boat, you know, and I don't know what side it was, but anyway, he's got big bouldered, we about our trip, and we're

fishing right against the Mexican shore. Okay, we don't want to Mexico. He's gone. You know, and I'm throwing a little spinner bait, okay, and first four or five cats, nothing like that. out there about 60 yards, about a 40-pound redfish is doing this.

On his side. Well, when he does it, the hook straightens out. You know. Go on. Give me another bait. Who's fishing with you? It's you and Josh Gaunt. Stone, yeah, Stone and...

Chase? W. Yeah, Jace is there. Yeah, Jace is there. I don't remember who else. But anyway, he tied me on another bait. I thought it again, and it's the same kind of... deal.

Yeah. Breatzing there, pooh, oh, miss him, pooh, and it was, well,

hey, one hour and 15 minutes later, I'm still cranking on this baby. Okay, and it's an hour

and a half. Okay, well, I might as I can see him, you know, just, he's fixing to come out

where I can get a look at it. You see color. And then it was, uh, about a 150-yard runoff on that reel. And I said, hey, somebody take over. He done whooped me.

Y'all, so Jay said, well, hey, we don't fought him for a hundred fifty minutes. He's fixed to come to the top of the water. So, Jace, I mean, he's pretty bowed up. This is in his boxing days. Oh, no. No, Jace. No, Jace. This was in his wood chopping days.

Oh, no, no. Oh, no, hey, Vladimir. here. He grabbed him and all he's doing is he's, for those listening, he is reeling back and forth. Oh yeah. He's, he's pulling up and rolling up and back and forth. Hey, he's pulling him up and rolling slack. About that time he just, psal.

We never got to see him. And they asked me and said, what was he? I said, well, I hung one that weighed about 40 pounds. I said, the second one, he's anywhere between 150 and 200 and it's redfish. And the Mars? No, we out there on Mexican shore.

I know that, but I mean, y'all's shallow water fishing. Yeah. Fish couldn't have been that big. Oh, no, I'm telling you was redfish, because you bit the same way. Redfish, 150,000. Hey, come on.

And look. Come on. That's what's going to the grave. Oh, Lord. 150, between 150 and 200, Redfish. Oh, well. I thought, Simon was going to tell the story about

when he was going to tell the story about when, when he was uh he set out of trot line him and some friends and and sigh kept hearing something he said oh that sounds that sounds like an art right there boys oh i hear something else they said sigh we hear some splashing oh that's a catfish on that one for sure all right no that's a car sigh is sound fishing no no no no you got understand something okay we're at uh fort brag yeah it's friday and and a buddy of mine thought you're in mexico no we don't we don't change. That's a different story.

We're a trot line fishing now. Yeah. But anyway, a guy had went fishing the day during lunch. You know, he showed him a picture. And it's a high-fiend channel catfish way by 5 pounds. I said, you done that during lunch? He said, yeah. I said, where?

He said, right down there on the creek, you know, about 15 minutes from here. I said, what are you doing for lunch today? He said, nothing. I said, you know, we're going to run out there. I don't look at this place, you know. So we run out there and, hey, it's a beautiful thing. This is, I can't even remember the name of it now. But anyway, it's in North Carolina, Fort Bragg.

So anyway, we come back after lunch and I said, well, boys, I said, here's what I said, here's what I'm going to do tonight. And they said, what? I said, I'm going to go to Walmart and buy me some nylon fishing string, some hooks, a bunch of stuff. You know, I'm going to rig up some trot line, throw line. Yeah. And I said, probably next weekend, I'm going to go down there and set trot lines out. on that little creek. So, hey, I go there and I get it in a name.

So the next Friday they're talking about, we're going fishing? I said, are you? I said, you go get shiners? You go get this? You go pick up a boat, you know, boat motor. So we head out. Well, we flew around and get there too late after buying all the hot dogs and everything that's going on, you know.

And we finally get the boat in the water and it's getting dark. So there's a big tree that fell in, green limbs, all. all the, you know, leaves. So I said, paddle me right up there that thing. I said, I'm just going to tie this trot line here and go across and run it up the shallow bank and then go across again.

You know, so they did, and I grabbed the boat powder and hit them green land and make sure it wasn't a big Congo in them, you know. They said, what are you doing? I said, I'm making sure it ain't no big snake laying up there in them leaves. You know, and they said, oh, good thing, good thought, yeah.

So I tie it on, they back me out, you know. I go across, put weights on it, you know, go across, and then the shallow water, I run it about about two foot deep running across, run out with that, and I said, hand me out of the trot line,

tie them together. I said, all right, now pat him across the other way, deep water. Okay. I said, all right, let's go back and bait them. So, go back and put the shindle on them out like that, you know, it's flam dark, you know, by now. So we get up there and build a fire,

and we're roasting marshmallows and having a good time laughing and all that. And about that time I hear, slash slash slash in the shallow water and I said we already got one gar boys yeah and they look at me and saying have you lost your mind? I said hey I'm telling you

it's a gar. Hook number one bar. Yeah yeah so next thing you all I hear I hear it plunk and I said I said that in there I never heard that before I said I don't know what that is I said we got one unidentified object on the line and one guard.

About that time, I told him, poosh. I said, catfish. Yeah, and behind that it was, I said, two catfish. A little bit further, okay? Flags, slack, slats. I said, okay, we got two car, unidentified, two catfish.

About that time, plunk, plunk. I said, two more catfish. And they said, well, let's go running, man. I said, hey, it ain't been fishing in 45 minutes. I said, no, man, we've got to let it go about, you know, it was like nine o'clock. I said, we're going to let it go to, you know, 12 o'clock anyway. They kept, oh, man, let's go running.

We got four cats each of seven. I said, okay, so we get in the boat. I get over there, there ain't nothing on the deep side, you know. I get up there to a woollen tree, yeah. And I said, I just took it shine. The will of them would go under there once in a while. And I said, yeah, okay. Shined down, I started shining down the shallow side.

I said, okay, there's two catfish, a gar, two more catfish. Oh, that's what there was. Hey, there was an eel. Green, okay? He didn't know the sound of the hill. Hey, he's seven foot long. That's better. Oh, no, no.

Hey, you know, hey, you also, they said, how did you know? I said, I told you, I didn't know what that was. And I said, hey, that thing was slamming. I said, hey, one of you boys, you know, I said, pick him up and lay his head on the side of the boat and then crush his head with the paddle. And then unhooked that time, we're going to, I'm going to use them, you know, y'all going to cut up that and put it on as bait. So they did.

A seven-foot-long, fresh water, eel, and the hills of North Carolina. No, no, look, so we had, we had like five catfish, okay, the aisle we kept, you know, bathed back up, you know, went, and I said, hey, I'm scared to even think what's going to happened in the morning. That's what you tell me? I said, hey, the morning is always the best. That's when they really run, you know, in the early hours. That's when they feed. Okay. Yeah. So look, I want to start up on this end this time and all the hooks are bare, you know. Look down in the shallow water I can see all the hooks are bare. But I'm looking down at that woollet tree and every once in a while I see it goes under water a little bit. And I said, I don't know

if that's the current pulling the weight? I said, but that looked like, I said, you know what, make this trip the best, boys? And that's what? I said, to have about a 30 pound up on that line right up there. And I said, oh, there went again. I said, no, that wasn't

the current, boys. I'd probably me up here. So I'd ask them, I said, where's the net? You know, and I said, we forgot. I said, what about them, well, oilfield gloves that had the... The rubber on them. Tar on them, you know, where you could grip stuff. And they said, we've got him too. I said, God, you

idiots. I said, now I'm going to have to bear hand this sucker. And sure enough, I'm bringing the line up like that, and he look, and look, it's just on that flat head part, it's just hooked, went under the skin, and come up. So if he runs,

hey, he's coming loose. And I said, oh, God, let it go. And I said, what are you doing? I said, I got one chance. I said, I've got to bring him up quick, grab him on the lip, he's going to eat me up when I do it. I said, but I'll have a chance of boat. So look, I'll bring him up.

He comes up, he comes up, got the bag, and I say, grab him. Just as soon as I grabbing him, he just, chomp. Like, get him in the boat, okay? He falls off, and I am running just blood. I'm dripping like a, I look like a pig, somebody slice his throat.

There's blood going everywhere, and they say, yeah, you okay? And I said, not really, this creek is cold. Yeah, this creek is cold. And I just, yeah. I sticking in that cold water. He's your, ah. I said, you know, they said, we can't believe you did that.

He's still flopping on the floor. I said, oh, that beat the crap out of you. I said, look what he did in my hand. He just skinned all four fingers, both sides. Now, I can believe that fishing. Hey, hey, we'll get back in the morning, been fishing stories right after this. I kind of hate to do this, by the way.

What's that? I fact-checked all size fishing stories. Which one? The 150-pound redfish? That's out. No. Hey. No, that's out.

Hey. He had him about a 40-pound jack from all. You wasn't there. I wasn't there. No, no. You wasn't there because I watched Stone catch a 350-pound giant group. You were on that. Glide's trip with us, wasn't you?

No. No. But I'm just saying. He was there. I know, Saidan got him about a 50-pound Jack Carval. Nope. They said,

Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. I don't call one of them, what? I'm just going to. I'm just going to. 38.

He was 38. But you ain't ever called a Jack Carval. Hey, I just sucked him up and put him in the boat. You're fishing with light red fish tackle and that Jack Carvall said, watch he. No. Jack Chavall. Well, the 150 pound red fish. That sounds like a singer, Jack Chavall, boys.

I got me a Jack Travol. Craval, but we'll go with it. The 150-pound red fish. That would have been a world record by 56 pounds. Hey. So he's out. I told him. I told him about when I hooked into him.

Hey, we just lost the world record redfish. And hey, Josh, back me up on that baby. And he almost doubled it. Double it. And then eels don't get seven foot long. Not freshwater one. That's like the world record.

Morey eel. That was what he is right there, that one. In North Carolina? He was seven foot long? Did you see that the words above it say European? Yeah. That was a real, that was a special eel. Hey, he ain't green.

He looks the same. Yeah. Hey, just I'm telling you, look. We're on Wikipedia, everybody. He was that big around. He doesn't. He ain't given up, Martin. Five or six foot long.

Look, Google Amphiuma. See if that looks familiar to sign. Amphiuma. A-M-P-H-I-U-M-A. Say that's the biologist's talking. Nope. He's black. Wasn't him, he says.

Wasn't him. This one was solid green. Like, hey. A grinal? No, no. The 69 charger, Dodge charger. That puky green color they come out with? Oh, yeah.

How did I not make that correlation? Golly. I mean, how did I miss that? No, no. You're born in 83? Did what? 85. Hey.

Look, and look, hey, this is a good one. Hey, look, we're going to work and, uh, what, uh, yeah, right above us. Now, below us? Bastrop. Not Bastrop. Farmable. Arkansas.

Elder. Canada. Uh, going, no, in between Farmable will and Arkansas line. What's that little town? Junction City, Bernice. I can't remember. But anyway, we. Spirrishable.

They had a, uh. There's only so many times. They had a, look, they had a particle wood. board factory there. Okay. A particle? Okay, I'll work there for a while. Look, this guy's got a

Dodge Charger, Pute Green, okay. This other guy has got a brand new Oldsmobile 88. Okay. They're racing, okay, down the highway

on about a 5, 10 miles straight stretch. I'm behind him. I'm running 90. What are you driving? I'm driving at Dennis Plymouth and hoping it ain't going to blow up. But anyway, look,

the guy in the Dodge Charter them. Look, this thing has got stainless steel pipes, solid, through the hood with big locks on both sides. And look, he'll race anybody. The only thing you do, you don't get to look on the hood. What are they racing for?

For money? For pink slips, I don't. Yeah, pink slips. This guy was always driving up in like a porous and talking about you want to buy a Porsche cheap. Yeah, whatever. But anyway, these guys, I'm behind them. Okay, the guy in the green charger goes like this to the guy in the 88, bye-bye, and he stomped it

and out here, they're running at least a hundred. Come on, no, no, no, no, no. He didn't bark the time. No, no, no, no. They're running 100 miles an hour. Johnny, back check, please. Hey, back-chick, bing-be-be-be-be-be.

Has something that's never happened to happen before. I follow them, and I pull up in the parking lot and all that, and I said, uh, you, you tore something up, did you? And he's what are you talking about? I said, I heard the screech. I said, you tore something up. And he said, no, that was burning rubber.

At a hondo. Yeah, and I said, hey, you don't burn rubber at a hundred miles an hour. He said, I beg your pardon. He said, you don't understand. Remember when I was out without this car for six months? I said, yeah. He said, whatever you can do to a automobile has been done to this one. And he barked his tires at a hondo.

Hey, look, I'm going back home. Yeah, you need. No, no, no, no, no. Look, hey, hey, when I get to where this happened, I'm driving slow, okay, I pull over, cut the engine,

walk out in the middle of this highway, and look, there are two strips about two foot long. Hey, he spun the tires doing a hundred. Okay, hey, I don't care if you believe it or not,

I actually looked at and seen it. Okay. I was sure he was going 100? Hey, I was running 90, and I was losing ground. In the Oldsmobile? No, in the Plymouth. Oh, Plymouth.

Was it Mary in Louisiana? God, I would never mention it. Clear Creek, Bainthwater, something like that up there. I've never even heard of those places. That's because they don't exist. Well, no, no, I can't remember the name. Hey, actually, they got a particle board plan up there. Okay.

Linville? But hold on. I'm out. You worked at the particle board plant? Oh, this is all making a lot of sense now. Particle. They didn't have no regulations on that glue they used back in. Oh, no, no. No, no.

Hey, it did. Hey, hey, hey, hey. It didn't stink like high heaven around that. Oh, yeah. Had you just got off work? No, we was going to work. Oh, okay. We was going to work.

I didn't know if the fumes got you yet or not. Doing a hondo. Oh, it may. Spending out at a hondo. Well, let's take one more break. And we'll come back with the last little bit of this. No wonder. jump that monster truck.

Really? All right, Sean. What we got from the fans this week? What we got from the fans? We got a couple of the hello at duck call room. We've got three since this started. I haven't got to read them. Hello at duck call room.com.

We got a question from somebody and I clicked the wrong one. Oh, there it is from Casey Beard. What an appropriate last name. Casey said, hey, Mark. Martin, first off, I'd like to say I love your podcast. Oh, well, thanks, Casey. Welcome to Martin's podcast. I appreciate that, Casey. I like to know that you can recognize greatness when you hear it.

And secondly, why is Uncle's size beard shorter on one side? Oh, I do know the answer to this. Oh, I know it. I know it for five hundred. Because if you look at him, he's right-handed. So that shotgun gets caught up in that beard every time he goes to shoot. So not only is it shorter on that side, you'll notice it's darker too. That is from the gunpowder residue that blows back to his beard after shooting.

So there you go. He's got a two-tone. It's fantastic. The man's shotgunner. He's lied to you. I thought he was going to tell you the truth. He didn't. The reason my beard is like this is I'm a half a bubble off.

Well, we all knew that. That story checks out. Why didn't you know that, Martin? He's being kind, saying he's a half bubble. I thought it was because every time you run away from the microbeck. It pulls out on that one side because you always end up on this side of the table and I throw my microphone. It's because old age is slipping in, boys. Everything is going south and like all your hair's falling off and all that.

That's why there's no such thing as golden 60s. Somebody lied about that side. They lied. Well, you're not in your 60s. I'm already past that, boys. I'm heading toward the great 80s. Yeah, no, you up in them silver 70s right now. I'm looking for the gold waiting.

I hope we're still doing this podcast when you're 80. It'll be my favorite thing ever. Oh, we will. We'll have to wheel him on in here. We'll be the first to volunteer for that. Next question comes from Kyle. My friend Kyle. My friend Kyle.

He came up. Martin, you said, I think it was last week. You would ask the good Lord, why did he make mosquitoes and chiggers and other annoying animals. Oh, he may have the answer. He does have the answer. Kyle's got the answer. Kyle may have the answer.

This ought to be good. What do you think that the reason those exist is because they're a byproduct of sin entering the world? Thorns, thistles, mosquitoes. I can't argue with him where. He covered his base well. It's hard to argue with sin entering the world. cause of mosquitoes.

I just thought they were bird food. Oh, they could be. Because we wouldn't have birds. Right, because Martin would say, and the whole time. He talked about the birds, not me. Hey, I love. Hey, did you ever wonder why Martin,

he's a little old bitty bird, but he's got the mouth the size of that babble. Yeah, just like a whippoor wheel. Same thing. Martin, the bird. They're both, yeah, they go through the air of that, that mouth open. Hey, here it comes, boys.

You reckon one of them's ever. Got him a red wasp, but dough popped them on the inside of that man. Probably. Probably. A purple tail was. I bet it. I bet it. You know, he was going to.

Oh, that's a rough one. Yeah. That's a rough one boy. TSO chicken. Spicy, son. Golly. Hey, look, you'll be telling you, I just thought about it. I would love for you to tell me.

Oh, no. Here's spicy. Brought it up. Here's why I survived the virus. Mr. and Mrs. T's spicy tomato juice. Hold on. Hold on. That's what the next email's about.

Hey, I'll tell you. Here we go. That's the greatest stuff it is. So this week, Lucy, Ron and Lucy, from the far north woods of Wisconsin near Lake Superior. Wisconsin. I'm so sorry for however cold it is there.

I'm never even going to be able to look in that direction again because of how cold you must be. But they emailed in and said, on the advice of Uncle's side, we tried Mr. T's bloody Mary mix without the alcohol and it's excellent. and it's excellent. So Mr. Tees, if you're listening, please send Cy Robertson a check to 117th,

Kings Lane, Westman or Louisiana, 71292. No. Because this is your greatest spokesman. No, no, don't send a check. Hashtag, well, work for juice. Hey, hashtag, send cases of juice. And he's out, he's out, by the way. Oh, no, look, I was within draw.

Hey, that five days was the cold weather. Uh-huh. Couldn't get out and I run out. So I was in bad shape. I run out of a lot of things for Bloody Marys too during that time. All right. Oh, that's the worst if you run out of Mr. T, Mr. and Mrs. T. Mr.

Is it Mrs? Or just Mr. Mr. Mr. He added. He added in. No, it's Mr. and Mrs.

Mr. T's. Hey, I got a hondo. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. I got a hondo. Fact checker. We need a fact check.

We need a picture. No, no, I'm fact-checking. Mr. T's. Mr. and Mrs. Pull that label up. I'm doing it. Put the $100 out.

There it is, boys. There it is. Mr. and Mrs. Tees. Whoa. Mary made from scratch taste. Phillips's going to get you later. He's a little short. But he got $7 if you want.

Give him the $7. You want the $7? Ladies and gentlemen, the first $100 to not be exchanged on the duck call room. There is he seven. I'll sign it and strip it over. No, I don't sign that. I'll bring it to the poker game. Mrs. Tees.

It'll be there when you... Wham, baby! How did Si get something right? That's what happens when I don't believe him. I say, that's what happens when you... The disclaimer, boys. That's at 95% again. At 95%?

You got to watch that 5% it'll get you in trouble. And now I'm thinking the professor broke both legs when he fell out the window. Well, the problem is, Phil, you're still 93% short of you bet, so that's a bad deal. We'll call it even. I ain't worried about it. We still back on that boat. All right, which one of y'all sitting us out of here with a Bible? Hey, I got to put my cool hand and Luke glasses on on that one, boy.

Oh, Lord. We're getting on track. Sae, you got a Bible verse? You want me to take it? Hit it, Jay. Hit it, Isaiah 4110, one of my memoir's favorite verses from back in the day. So do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Hey, so even if you're snow-den, even if it's 2020, even if pipes are busting all over the place, do not be afraid for better days are headed our way. Is Grandma still allowed? She is not. It's all right. I'm going to see her again with that.

Amen. But Grandma was right. That's a good one. We'll see y'all again next week right here on the door call room. We're out. Everybody be safe and warm. He looks a little bit like Phil with them glasses on.