Duck Call Room - Willie Robertson Better Watch Out Around Uncle Si's New Insults

Episode Date: February 22, 2024

An Uncle Si fan gets more than he bargained for by trying Si’s home remedy! Si and Phillip get their creative juices flowing by listening to his favorite songs, and Martin is impressed with the depth and breadth of their musical interests. John-David is staggered by Si’s “weird” pizza preferences, and Martin can’t understand where Si puts all that pizza on his skinny frame. Si’s backwards neighbors take out their ignorance on an unusual flying object, and Willie unwittingly gives the boys more material to tease him with.  - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Technical difficulties. Welcome back, Martin. Are we ready? Yeah, I think we're going. I don't know. There's been so many technical difficulties today that we don't know how to even explain the good stuff that happened. We're only 35 minutes behind when we were supposed to start. We had a good time, though.

What else would I be doing? We played the bongos. We explored Phil McMillan's vast playlist of weirdness. Thank you. What? purchase songs of purchase songs which i'm sure all the artists are forever grateful because they got a cut of their 99 cents when did when was the last time you bought a song you're like you know what that's that's a that's a buyer not a not a streamer he has no stream do you not have like the hey just pay this a

month and you can listen to whatever i don't but all my kids do and they try to get me on and i'm like uh-uh i got the songs i won't i don't need no more nothing new i will say it's a very eclectic sample of music from the 70s, 80s, and 90s. And not only mine, which includes a lot of yacht rock, but Sy's got all his old country on there, too. Yeah, Philip, Philip's the kind of guy that wear a flower shirt with his hamburger meat hanging out. That's what I just discovered.

I mean, I've never seen that from him, but, you know. What is yacht rock? Exactly what I'm talking about. I don't know why, I don't know how you don't smoke cigars. Are you a big Jimmy Buffett kind of guy? There it is. Phillips in a hot tub with his hamburger meat out and a cigar. Also, what is it?

We got hamburger meat hanging out and that is tripping me out. What is that? Chistair. Oh, I don't know, man. We actually stopped at a cigar store. True. Okay, and it was closed on us. Yeah.

Were you going to get you one? The 7-Eleven was closed? He was going to get something for his son. Oh. Bryce likes it. Oh, Bryce likes a cigar. I like to smell them. Yeah.

They got back miles on every corner in Westman, Row. You couldn't find one that was open? That's nasty. That is nasty. These were homemade though. Homemade? Oh, yeah. So we took a trip to Oklahoma.

Land of the homemade cigars. Land of oil. My old homemade cigars look different now. And there's a lot of Indian reservations. And a lot of Indians. And a lot of Indians. Native American. That makes it.

Native American. It's their land. And there's a lot of that there. Uh. But we had a good time. Wait, oh, yeah, that's why we're filming today because y'all were, y'all just got out of town. Yeah, we did. Did you all this playlist the whole way?

Yes, we did. Yes, we did. That actually, his playlist is long enough to take you to Oklahoma and back. That's right. And you don't have to listen. Well, he does have multiple versions of the same song, but you would not have to listen to the same version of the same song. Oh, that was a good one because we played the one about the hurricane. Oh, yeah.

It comes around every June. And we had, oh, no, no, look, and we got both versions. How do you know what that is? You don't know that song? You don't know. I was born in a rain on the Pontchrane. I was born in the rain on the Pontchrane's rain. Underneath the Luzon.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. When you said Hurricane, I was, they rocked me like a hurricane. But either way, minor league hockey music. The best version is the men singing. But they did have three good-looking chicks that sang it. How do you know that they were good-looking if you were listening to the radio? Hey, when it come up, they were singing, they had pictures of them. okay it was very easy on the eyes oh here we go but you know hey i like the i like the original

version but good thing your eyes work because nothing else does right you give you all hey that's it right but for all the grief i would give that that playlist that i just heard all the names of the songs and have the songs in grief that that is a road trip playlist for sure that keeps you happy or are you just need to be on an island for about seven days and nothing to do. You're going to listen to Phil's music. Well, a lot of Kenny Chaston.

Because what's wild is you'll listen. We got that. Yeah, you'll listen to that and then all of a sudden here comes Tupac. Yeah, and Midnight Star. You know, and Prince. So I like to listen to us in print. And Abba.

And Black Eye Peas. You name it. We got it. But it's better to listen to that. And he knows the words to all of them. And the crows. And the crows. I'm going to name something that should be on there that's not on there.

Go. And I feel like I need to have heard it. Watch out that. If it's anything from 2004 till now, it ain't on that. No, no, for sure, it's not. I'm trying to think, L.L. Cool J. Got it. Yeah, he's a song.

I don't remember, but he. A lot of them. Mama said, knock you out, it's a jam. Super Tramp. What song is it? Disco Inferno or something like that. Oh, yeah, definitely. Definitely.

Yeah. If it's hair, if there's hair involved, it's on there. Anything. from like a Disney movie at the beginning is on that for sure. Probably so, yeah. But look, here's the reason why I need it because when me and Sire are going somewhere

flying a lot, he likes to listen to it with the headphones on. Yeah, I get forward easy. Yeah, and he doesn't have serious X-M on his truck, so we have to plug in the phone. I've realized one thing about all my travels.

Mm-hmm. y'all that's a bunch of people there that need to go to walmart and get them a personality uh-oh go get they all get shook up hearing me sing oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh it's not so much it's lovely day by bill withers on there got it got it love a lovely day you probably heard that on the way to hook on i'm just going through songs i've recently listened to i was singing a disco inferno by the tramps by the way dun dun dun dun dun dun dun it's funky town on there I don't know. Funky Town.

I mean, we can't play it on here, but for seven seconds, but... Yeah, I mean, that's the greatest song in the history of man. One of the men, don't they? One of the men was on there is the Gap Band. Oh, yeah. He got a song from Gap Band. I ain't ever heard of. With the longest playing time, I think there ever is.

13 minutes and like 33. That's the Gap Band. This will be the test. Right, when you, I've got the test. I've got the test. Freebird? No. Oh, you know, that's only.

neon moon by Brooks and Dunn is that I can confirm I saw the album cover Brooks and Dunn's greatest hit so Neon Moon is there we listen to that twice

You know I drove home last night and I said I don't For some reason George Strait just came on my phone I didn't do it But I was like I'm not mad about this

And then I was like While I was getting gas I was like I really want to listen to Neon Moon So I got gas and listened You got a table. Way in the back. Table for two, way in the back.

That actually was talking about Stowe's and Ruston, Louisiana. Yep. When he wrote that song. Oh, that's a good song. Yeah. Oh, Kicks Brooks. Brooks and Dunn's awesome. Oh, no.

We actually want to see Brooks and Blunt and Reeve up. Oh, here we go. Caesar's Palace in Vegas. Buckle up, everybody. Hand's got a type and Reeve fits it. Hey, it was cool. It was cool. Because when we was in the green room and met them, y'all,

I walked up to Reba. You know what I said? Me and my wife already made a deal. Made a deal. And she said, well, what's that? Because I had on my sparkly jacket and my cowboy hat, my cowboy booth. She said, what's that cowboy? And I said, hey, I said.

We made a deal. I said, I get you. And she gets Ronnie. And you ain't got nothing to say about it. You said, well, give me a big old hug. I said, you got it, you good looking effort. That's true. But the thing about that was people were lined up and hearing and talking and to sign,

getting stories and everybody else was on the other side like, what's going on here? You know, so that was pretty interesting. So you, wait, who's Christine's got like Patrick Swayze or somebody? Ronnie Duh. Oh, okay, I missed that. She loved kicks and Brooks. kicks and brooks and brooks that's right ronnie don't know she loves ron that's funny that mullet was good looking she got a type too yeah i know real i'm still talking about

ravey well yeah that's why you got that smile on you face oh yeah oh yeah i also don't have no deals i don't think that would work for me oh i do have a celebrity crush who oh they had no the pioneer woman they had a fabulous show we had a great time i'll either marry her or she can adopt me and I'm going to go. Hey, we went right through there. Then I'll say that you don't have a type. I type's women that can cook good, son. Sy, where was that Pawnee that we were in? Yeah, that's where she's at. I'm making a trip one day. You should. And I'm going to stand in line to meet. I'm going to be there and I'm going to feel like all the people I used to look at standing outside our office and I'm just going to be standing outside the Pioneer Woman's restaurant.

Hey, take Sy with you because she came up to the table where we were sitting and hug sigh. That's a good deal to take Sauer. Sal, you want to just drive to Oklahoma again? All right. It's only about eight hours. But our buddy tank, and we've talked about Tank before, our buddy Tank had a birthday, so we had a big birthday celebration. Say, happy birthday.

Same happy birthday. His name is Tank. His name's Tank. You want to be on his good side. He's about talls that door right there. And he's about 400. Why they call him Tank? I don't know.

But he's awesome. him him and his wife. If he got a door lock, if you got a door lock, it's called Hank. He's come on. So he's the size of a refrigerator. He's a big boy. But he dances good. He's a great dancer.

Where did we meet? Him and his daughter. We went to a lot of things and him and I love the way he interacts with his daughter. When you see a dad and daughter dancing and having a great time, I always like that kind of stuff. So y'all always get new friends and I have no idea where they came from. And now we're just driving Oklahoma to hang out. a tank? Well, we've been friends a long time. I just hadn't heard about... We've got a lot

of friends everywhere. Y'all got a lot of friends in Oklahoma is what you're going. We got a lot of friends in Mississippi too. Oh, by the way, let me tell you about this. This is exciting. So I got a phone call before we started the podcast and you know, we're doing something for the Homes of Hope. It's like the ninth or 10th annual Uncle Si's ski shoot, okay? So the guy calls me and says, you know,

I'm going to have a special guest for Cy to meet. It's George and Tammy's daughter, Georgette. Gertet. Who's going to meet you at the event and hang out. George Jones, I get a big hug from her. Hey. Yeah.

He stopped loving her today. That's right. He stopped loving her. Hey, I ain't never stopped loving her. We know. Amen, buddy. There he goes. Take a break before you love it too much.

Yeah, I know. Get to a commercial. Break. Break. Break. Break. Yeah. We'll be back.

All right. Look, springtime is here. It's warming up. You know what that means. That means more. outside cook and and y'all know we love to eat beef around here and that's what because of our friends over at tritels beef makes such a good product baby ain't it good it's so good it's our friend sall robertson would say buy on the grill look before we got tritels getting ready for a cookout man

somebody had to run the grocery store do all the things grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day and you never really know where that beef come to him but with tritels beef we skip the grocery store and do it a different way. Triedales comes from a family ranch out in Texas. They're a fifth generation American ranch, so they've been at it for a while. Now, look, the beef comes straight from their ranch and other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way. Their steaks are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door. We threw a couple of ribbys on the grill. Look, salt, pepper, garlic, hot fire, that's all you need. Look, because I'll tell you what, when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living, you can taste the difference. The

tenderness and the flavor are fantastic. So if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season, go check out Tritails Beef. I know in size case Christine loves it, which is just a, she doesn't eat meat. She ain't a big meat easier, folks. Yeah. Just go to trybeef.com slash.

That's trybeef.com slash support ranch families and eat some dang good steak. When Martin puts his eyeball on the mic, I know there's something wrong. No, that's what it's, yeah. That's when I ain't got to say nothing. I just sit here. When Martin does that, it's when we have a chance to go quasi-viral

because size is going to get us canceled. Yeah. It's when I peer up and I start feeling there may be an issue. I'm like, oh, how do we want to save this one? Oh, boy. All right, but we're back. I don't even know what we're going to talk about, but that's nothing new.

What else have? Why you laugh? We've talked about the road trip to Oklahoma and back. What happened? So you just went to a dance with Tank? Yeah, we went to a birthday celebration with our buddy. I still doing birthday parties. That's cool.

At a private ranch. Oh, yeah, it was a private ranch. And so this is the ranch where we drove around and saw Fallow deer. So were you an invite or were you the entertainment? Invite. Okay. Well, yeah, some people get caught. I'm both.

Some rich people like hire the Rock and some people. Oh, no. I'm both. I'm a good friend, but I am also. Let me try. the entertainment. Because I keep them laughing. Well, that is true.

And I'm good at it. Do you all? He knows you so well. He said, I'm not dumb. Do you know the answer here? We played dominoes. Yeah. Okay.

And what? I think I won twice and he won. You win one? Yes. Okay. Well, I could remember. Aren't you on teams? I won twice and then we got to the perfect game and I won again.

Oh, did you? Oh, yeah. How much money you win? I won $700. size undefeated I'm undefeated in Oklahoma That's a good thing I've never lost that

Is your unwinfeated in this? Oh I don't hear that I've won my chair here today That time we were on a plane And playing poker the only time he was winning Was when we were above Oklahoma Oh no no no the best one on that was The problem was that was early and I was broke

Hey we're fixing the land Oh yeah they were on there Y'all y'all was on that one of the funnest Three hours of my life Oh no We were land and would it said, hey, don't nobody move. And the pilot was fixed open the door.

And he said, hey, don't open that door. Because we've got the hand and we got all the money in the pot. That's a true story. And look, I said, well, I said, you made the bet, the last bet. I call you with everything I got. I said, you know, what have you got? Well, hey, he knew I had him beat. So he had conveniently said, where's my cards?

I said, I don't know. but I said, guess what? I said, I've got my two that goes the five on the board. And I said, I got the stone cold nut queen high straight. All of it. All of it. And I said, hey, by the way, pilot, going to the door, because this trip is over. I don't cook all these crowns money.

Yeah, I know. You took money from the poor folks, me and John Davis. Oh, no. My money was in there, too. He took everybody's money. I also robbed the rich and gave it to the poor. Yeah, but you robbed the rich. way more poor than he did rich.

That's not true. He took way more from Willie, but the percentage was different. Yeah, okay. After about 50 bucks, I was like, yeah, our percentage of net income was way different on that trip. The only two left with money were you and Willie. They just kept that until we were out. Yeah, I couldn't afford it.

Yeah, I didn't have much cash on it. The funniest part of that trip was when we all walked into the bathroom. Okay, boys. Okay, and that was in Denver, Colorado. We haven't been in the back, okay, because all the stalls were full. By us, because we faster than you. Oh, yeah. I'm in the back, okay, and all of a sudden, I'm in a new bathroom, I have no idea.

And the lights go out and so when I've said you, there is not a, it ain't no, it's dark, dark, dark. Uh-oh. You made a hunter peer up there, buddy. No, no, I literally, it took me 15 minutes to find my way out of it by going again. the wall. I'm aware. We stood in there while they was fueling up the plane and laughing the whole time waiting on you to come out. I got an ice cream.

The under overworths 15 minutes. Oh, no. It took me 15 minutes to find my way out. I felt like a mime. This trap, you know. A mime? A mime or a mine? A mime.

Isn't it? Yeah. Yeah, that's right. Like there's a wall. All the difference is you ain't ever not talked. I said, oh, I don't know if I'm going to ever get out of here. Okay. Okay, bar.

I do miss. Willie was outside your time, mate. Yeah, we all were. That was a good time. We were on. The Spokane, Washington State Fair. Man, it was good. Man, times were wild.

People used to book us to come to places. Oh. I was watching. That was on a Sunday, too. And I woke up and went to a bar next to the hotel and was watching the Saints game at 10 a.m. Yeah. I was like, this place is weird. Yeah, I remember texted you.

You said, I'm across the street watching the game. I was like, I'm in bed. I ain't doing that. That was a weird group. Was it me, you, is us three? I think of everybody. John Luke. John Luke.

John Godwin. Godwin. And Willie. Yeah. Yeah. A good time. What an a collective. Yeah.

Oh, that's what it was because they have Willie and Sadie and John Luke booked. And me and Godwin got booked for like Sadie or Saigon. We were a swap out. Some had to be swapped out. And so we sent the farm. Yeah, we sent her by it. It was like, we're all coming. How many seats you got on that plane?

Let's go. Yeah, everybody went and had to stop because we flew around wildfires or something for fuel twice or something weird. Oh, when we stopped to fuel up, I left my phone somewhere. That's true, too. Yeah. Denver, yeah. Yeah, we stopped Denver both times. They're going there and coming back.

We flew into Denver and I couldn't remember my phone. Wow. There you go. I miss other people paying for me to fly on private planes. Those were fun times. I don't miss not having my status, though, because I lost, we fly so much for work that, man, you get spoiled by getting upgraded all the time. Then you go on that little run. We went on.

I mean, it's nice pulling out to the tarmac, getting your truck washed and everything. I haven't been on a plane in probably two or three years. But you're going back on one, right? I mean. Ever since you gave up your personal system, John? Tackle shopping employees don't need a lot of flight time. Unless they're going to Disney. I am going to, yep, that's the next flight I got.

Me and all the children are going to Disney. You riding up front and putting them in the back? On the mine train, yeah. No, I'm talking about on the plane. Oh, no. Yeah, right. Allison, I didn't know if you still had enough miles, you could upgrade to first class and say, Allison, good luck.

I got enough miles to get me and like two of the kids on that plane for free, but I'm about out of Willie, Willie Sky Miles, thanks to Willie. I've used them sparingly over the time. but they're not going up. No, no, dwindling. Not a lot of Shiner shows or cricket expos to go to and make any sense. Well, I mean, I hate you're not here, but I do like the fact that you're a tackle shop. Because me and John David just like...

We made a trade, boys. We completed like the best redneck trade ever. I can't wait to hear this. So Johnny D needed some fishing baits that are like the hottest fishing bait in the country right now. the Crush City freeloader. And it just so happens that I work with the fine folks over at Rapalus. I had a stash of them. He had a stash of them.

Uh-oh. So I brought him. I now have a stash of him. I brought him about approximately 30 packages of freeloaders. 649. And I'm getting a pair of sunglasses. We're just swapping. We're helping each other out.

I need to be blocked from the sun and he needed freeloaders. That must be some good sunglasses. Well, I mean, I don't really care. I told him to pick. I said whatever. I told him, I said, dealer's choice,

whatever's a fair trade. I said him 14 pictures of me modeling sunglasses. He comes under me selfies. He won't pick one out. So then I get here, I'm like, what sunglasses did you want?

And he's like, ah, just throw some. So next time I'm just showing up with sunglasses on their market. Whatever's a fair deal. What about the glasses the sunglasses?

The sunglasses. Oh, Lord. They won't sunglasses. We lost all of those. Those were to help from the sun. Those were to protect you from a truck. Oh,

Uh-oh. You've got some still? I still got him in a truck. Yeah, he goes by a dollar general every day. It's easy to pick up some sunglasses. Is that in case air soft? Is that in case airsoft war breaks up or something? Like, I don't know.

Never, never, you never know when you're going to need your battle. I mean, boys. You wore those for like a month. I don't know. I wouldn't take them off. And you were serious about it. Well, no, they made everything good and clear. That's one not going blind.

Yeah, that's how you know a man going blind when he says, charthrues sunglasses make everything clear? We got a problem. Because they were charitrues. They made everything good and clear. It is. And for $29.99 plus tax level licenses and shipping and handling, you can get one pair, but wait, there's more.

You can get two more for free. And the all new unreleased battle light. I mean, like that. Hey, can't break them, boy. Can't break them. They twist them. What time did you buy those at, 2 a.m. or 3 a.m.? Because it was clearly on infomercial.

No. I want to ask Christine because she's the one that purchased them, I'm sure. Of course she did. Well, they didn't call anybody because the phone still don't work. She ordered them on Amazon. Yeah, why does your phone not work? I don't know. I got an idea.

My woman had been working on that for like three to five days. And hey, she told me the other day she said to go out and have a doctor's point. She said, oh, by the way, the phone man's coming. And, you know, she's not. She just said, hey, you know, you know. need to talk to the phone man. The phone. You know, today when he gets you,

and I said, I ain't going to be on the phone talking to the phone man. Is that like the gas man? Yeah. I said, no. She said, no, he's going to be here in the house. I said, well, okay, I may, I may talk to him then. But he didn't show up. He probably called first.

Well, hey, no, hey, the phone doesn't work. The phone don't work. And he ain't got a cell phone. No. Hey, phones do not work for me. Well, let me tell you why. Because every time he gets a robo call, he's like, yep, that's what I thought. He picks it up.

He's like, boom. Yeah. And so now the phone's not working, and he's surprised. Oh, no, I'm an official roboc killer. And now phone killer. We're going to have to get smoke signals to get in contact. I give you 1001, 1002. Do you think they have pigeons?

If I say hello, you've got two seconds to answer me. State your case. You better state your case. Don't hang up. Don't hang up. Don't hang up. I think we should train a bird to carry notes. Pigeon.

Dut commander to his house. Eagle the pigeon. That's right. No, but like a cooler bird than that, like a hawk. Oh, look. Hey. No, that sounds like a lot of work. Eagle, eagle of a hawk.

He can see 360. Do you think we could train a bird to go from here to size house and deliver notes? No, rough neighborhood. It gets shot in training. That's right. The stuff he got to fly over to get there? No, he's got to go through Balkenville and he'll never make it. No, Sam.

We're going to teach him to loop around. You got to give him a slip like I did. You got to get Bonsonville a wide, a wide berth. Otherwise, you're going to end up on a spit. No. No, that was weird. That was going home after a poker game one night. Oh, now.

Here we go. And I'm with a fishpaws right. Oh, yeah. Oh, and look, something comes over. were just, wow, you know, and it's about treetop high. It's low at night. I remember this, yeah. Night.

And I'm saying, what in the world? I said, I think I just seen a UFO. Oh, it was to you. No, no. It was unidentified. It was wild. And I said, you know, so hey, I, what? Somebody was in security.

And I said, hey, have y'all, are y'all doing some stuff at night, the cops? And he said, what are you talking about? I said, hey, other night coming home from, it's like 2 a.m. in the morning. And this stupid thing come flying over at the low. The cops. And they said no, not that we know well.

Now, do you know the rest of the story on what it was? Huh? It was a Canadian goose. No. Huh. What? No, I mean, I don't remember. Yeah, so it was flying over and it was actually a mosquito, dropping mosquito spray. Okay.

And somebody... That's what's wrong with all of us. And somebody in Balkanbell shot it down. what? Yeah. Was it a... No, no. It was a drone. Oh, a drone.

A drone. And it scared side of that. I thought it was like a piloted plane. No, it was a drone that was spraying for mosquitoes, and somebody in Bocqueville shot it down. See? Well, I said that about the pigeon. Pigeon ain't going to make it.

No. Nope. I don't know. If the pigeon would fly at like 10 a.m., probably be safe. Well, no. They ain't none of them going to be up from the night before. 2 a.m.

he in a bind jack no midnight no problem is he's asleep at 10 a. I know he's gonna have to sit on a perch for a little bit

I was wondering we had a what they call a European hunt in Wisconsin oh yeah now this was cool a classic case

of European hunts in Wisconsin here's what they have you ever been on a Texas hunt in Germany huh they're fun no I have

I'd like to go on a Bockelville hunting. They released pheasant, chuckers, quail, quail, and pigeons. Then, pigeons will find out later right. Nobody could kill the pigeons. No. They were like. Well, hey, before they released them, though,

they pull some feathers out of their wing. You ever heard of this before? No, but it sounds mean. No, no. No, look, look. Hey, look. We, they have what? They released like, what, 500 feathers.

500 quail, 500 chuckers, and we killed most all of them. Gosh, I might. It was a military. Yeah, we killed up in the four 90s on all the pheasants, quail, and chuckers. Hey, I doubt if there was three pigeons killed. Have you seen them?

I shot at 10, and I ain't cut a feather on none of them because when they come out and it was on top of a hill, they would come down. And it's like saber jets, you know, doing all the maneuvers. pigeons? Yeah. And then I found out,

well, hey, we pull some of the tail feathers and the wing feathers and they don't fly right. They don't fly right. Yeah, they don't fly right. They fly and just,

you know, because there's going to be some people in our comments that's big mad at that. No, no, hey. Well, you know, there's bad enough,

y'all shoot them and then you're going to pluck their feathers out. We didn't do it. We shot them. That's what I'm calling about. Yeah. Hey, but I'm telling you, hey, I'm guaranteed.

Like a, like a, Like a pigeon like New York City. Oh yeah. Sky rat pigeon. Yeah. Yeah, the woo-woo. 150 mile an hour pigeons. The woo-woo's.

That's the woo-woo. Cut them, boys. Woo-woo. My man said the woo-woo. At their pigeon commander. Woo-hoo. Woo-hoo. Who-hoo.

Hey, we raise pigeons being filled in the world. It's wild because every pigeon I've shot been pretty easy to hit. Well, all them wasn't up there. How many pigeons are we shooting? Now, they hang around green elevators and other stuff with doves. I mean, they're a dove. I'm glad you brought it up because they actually have pigeon hunts in New York City. They got them out west too.

You can go whack pigeons. Oh, yeah. They call it a pigeonado. Yeah, I'm out. They do. You can't hunt pigeons in New York City. They shoot pigeons in New York City. I don't know.

We got to look it up. Well, my computer broke again. It's trying to work. But I just can't imagine it. I actually read that in a newspaper somewhere. In a newspaper. This was 40 years ago then. You can read.

A newspaper? A little bit. A little bit. I'm a kid. New York City. You're going to get some comments. Pigeon hunt. Lady.

Oh, they still type of mad about side plucking feathers from a pigeon. Oh, I didn't do it. Hey, they did it. The boys released them. New York Consolidated laws. No person shall at any time by any means or in any manner capture, kill, or attempt to capture a kill any homing pigeon. A homing pigeon.

Homing pigeon. That leaves all the rest of them. Wack them and stack them. If you pulled out a gun to shoot something in New York City, you'd end up on CNN. If you kill people, you're fine. Yeah, they're killing people all the time. If you kill the pigeon, if you pull a gun out, you're going to end up on the news.

Yeah, most likely. Yeah. Especially if you got red hair. at all. Oh. Whoa. Buckle up for safety, everybody. Welcome to the duck call room.

Yeah. We've derailed. Yeah, we've derailed. Let's go to break. Let me tell you all story. If you think you're pretty good shooter like me, I can hit skied. I'm pretty good. Well, don't go up against Martin, Godwin, sigh, and stone.

Because we were in the back of a boat in the Key West, and they were. throwing skeet but you're doing like this and you're shooting all right trying to hit them and we said whoever is does the worst has to pick up every shell and I was thinking it ain't going to be me it was 100% going to be you the only way it wasn't you is if I got invited

it took me an hour to pick up all the shell yeah I these boys can shoot I mean I'll have seen for myself it's their job I guess so and then flying fish fun oh no I six say they're flying fish fine that's wow

yeah I didn't even believe in he didn't believe me we're all out on the golf and I keep saying God I can't believe these stupid flying fish are everywhere

you didn't believe in flying fish no he told me I mean these things were this big as big as both my hands yeah all right so he it's size said hey these things jump up out of the water and they're flying like 300 yards

and I think it was 95% true I mean false oh no no it's true oh I found out it was That's true. They're further and faster than you think. They do. And bigger.

And bigger. What got me is the seas were pretty common. The waves wasn't about two foot high. Yeah. Well, they come out on top of the wave when it crested and fly like 600 yards. Yeah, we shot them. And I'm saying, what in the world? Did you pull feathers out of fens on?

No, we shot them, and then we'd scoop them up in a dip net, and then we'd scoop them up in a dip and then catch a snapper on it. Oh, yeah. And bait them. Yeah, we were getting our own bait. Oh, no. we had one that come on.

We had a man on the bow doing a shooting and a man on the back back there with a net. And the captive would turn and go, he'd see the dead body and you'd pick it up. And then when you come back in, you put a hook through him and you drop him down there and catch you a mangrove snap. No, no, look, we're out there and go on in the captain.

Nothing went to waste, baby. Hey, look, we're going to, like you said, and the captain said, hey, everybody looked for bodies. Because there was a raft. It was a one in a rubber boat that was sinking. Oh, I ain't ever been on that part of it. No, no. Look, so look, look, we go body.

there, you know, and he comes back by, and everybody said, he said, you see anybody? I said, nope, but I saw three big fish under that little rubber boat. I said, let's troll by it. And hey, by that time, whoo! Got one of them big mighty mais, the green fish. Mahi, my, my. Can I just, did I hear this story correctly? We saw a boat that was sinking? Well, it was just, it was nobody there. Yeah, I think he's talking about like a raft, wet foot, dry foot, defectors from Cuba. coming across the table. Would you rather end up in Texas or Florida, though? That's the real question.

Well, Florida is a retirement state. Hey, go to Florida. And Disney World's better than six months. A little bit smoother to rain. A lot of water, but no rocks and things that are poop you. Thanks a lot of water wash away New Orleans. Oh, we're back on the band of Heathers. Just like that, we circled all the way back.

I was born in the rain on the point of train. During a hurricane That comes around every June Which is a lie They just had to write that for the song We had no hurricanes in June We get a hurricane in June I'm moving

Yeah It's time to go That way I get just knocked out By another hurricane Yeah Go Florida And a shrimp boat On the way home

He just remembers bits and pieces Of the song I love the song That's not nothing new Oh no That's a good one I love it I love it song

I'm starting to I'm starting to now realize why his stories are the way that they are. He just patchworks four of them together and makes it. All the best parts. Is the old man in the quarters? He turned his head and said.

I have no idea. It takes a lot of water to wash the rain all heeds. I don't even know what song we're singing. Oh, you'd like it though. It's a damn. It is a good song. Yeah, you have to look up Band of the Heathons on Spotify. Don't pay.

In that sense, you're paying like $5 a month or whatever it is. I'll just buy the song like a weirdo. Yeah, I said it. You wouldn't will. Um Unbelievable What a day Sye loves the

the weirdest pizza You never guess What he puts on it I'll judge you Not fruit Let's tell him Si Do you put pineapple on pizza

Nope That's a sin No it isn't sin Mine has got Halapinia Okay Periponi The best

All kind of cheese There you go You just described The world's Then Then okay As little as a sauce Okay

and then you brick it. What's wrong with that pizza? They'll make it crispy. Can you explain to me where we went wrong? I mean, what did you rather have on? I'll take a hamburger pizza. Oh, no. Hamburger.

Yeah, it's just hamburger. I mean, I'll eat whatever he's got. Sometimes I really wonder how you fit in and there. Oh, no, I'm saying. A hamburger pizza? You and Carter just getting the same pizza? A glass of milk and some cheese? cheese? Hey, hold my coffee

while I woke, uh, Mark. You're gonna leave here? Are you gonna leave here and go have a gogert? Like, I mean, like, that's a hunter. What in the, what in the world? Oh no. I've told this before, but hey, there's a restaurant in Germany. Like my, Philip, you know, Philip,

Phil is so fired up. He's gonna get home, Alicia got him some dinosaur chicken nuggets made. Like, it's it's a big Tuesday. The dinosaur nuggets, boys. No, I will eat the pizza that he gets, I just think it's a little bit odd. Oh, no.

You just said he eats the weirdest pizza, and you said he likes meat, he likes pepperoni, jalapeno, and cheese. Which is fantastic. That's the most standard rig ever. No, I would never. I mean, I thought he's going to say he put like little salted fish. I eat one of those a week. Yeah.

That's too much to put on a pizza. Some people put sardines on them. No, I would never do that. Oh, no. Some people do that. I wouldn't pass it up. Hey. It was.

Two toppings. No. Two toppings. Pepparone and jalapinians. I mean, I don't even think anybody from Canada would find that weird. That's normal. And they put fake bacon on theirs. Fake bacon.

Oh, no. You mean the Canadian fake bacon? That's called ham. Faking. Canadian bagging or whatever. But so. But you make a pizza. Don't you cook pizza?

Yeah, and I'm going to put way more than two toppings on it. Yeah, I like my pizza to barely, the crust to barely be able to hold what I've got on it. Well, how would you like... Like, it's a limber underneath. I need to hear about Yerman pizza. No, no, I'm sick. So how would you like a 12-inch circle pizza? I'm in on that.

You actually roll up and eat it like a burrito. I'm cool with that. Solid. Okay. Have you had a hot pocket? Also good. Look, I would eat... You'd really like them, Phil.

I would eat three of them. Do they travel well? I would eat three of them. A pizza roll. That's that you put them in your pocket. You eat three burrito pizzas? Three of them, 12-inch. It makes me.

me so mad that you don't weigh. With. Halapagia? 800 pounds. Yeah. Yeah. The meat, the cheese and all that. Oh, oh.

Oh, man, not jalapias on a pizza. You wouldn't even have to chew them. It was so good, they were just melting you mouth and go down your throat. That seems too much. Oh, no, it was. It was out of this world. And then that's him, and then his buddy fills everywhere with them. Can we get hamburger?

Can I get hamburger on my pizza? Does that one come with a toy? Yeah. If you get a hamburger thing out. Can I get the crackerjack box with it? I'll tell you what we ate for the first time ever in Oklahoma. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Zidi? Zidi? Zidi. Yeah. Posse. Ziti. Yes.

Yeah. First time we ever ate it. And look, I didn't think I would like it, but it was a great. It was a big container of it, and it was delicious. Man, it was fantastic. Oh, it was delicious. I had too many flavors in that. Did it have hamburger meat?

I have about three happens of it. He's like Kevin McAllister from home alone. He doesn't have a cheeseburger? I want a cheese pizza. Hold on. I'll get that cheese pizza for you. Did they top it? Did they top it with some dino nuggets?

Unbelievable. You are an interesting person and I love you. But the fact that you made fun of how Sai eats pizza and then you back to them with, I like pants. I mean. And he's got to have it bricked and all this stuff. I don't know. I mean, I'll eat it. He's a medium plus steak, man.

He's got high. priorities on his food. Yeah, you don't think his pizza ain't going to go in there for an extra five. Yeah, he's not going to be doughy.

Yeah, he's going to burn his steak. He's dang sure going to burn a pizza. Oh, it ain't burnt. But it is fine. He said, I'll have a jalapina

and cheese and pepperoni pizza cook medium plus, boy. It's like a frisbee. You could take it and chunk it. That sounds delicious. Absolutely. But let's not, that's why they need to make it

as a broomerang where I should just get it flow it wow that sounds amazing it comes back to you that's like one of my drinks oh no oh you could throw a pizza boomerang pizza I just always I'd be so scared to throw it oh I wouldn't

I would eat pizza for every meal just smashed boys and at the basis of that rule of I have to eat pizza for every meal I would never eat a hamburger pizza hey ever just think about no give me one of them that's got like the scrambled eggs and sausage bacon on it for you give me the freaking I don't believe y'all in your peer.

I don't believe y'all. You would eat the hamburger pizza so fast to make your head spin. Hold on. I'm not turning down any pizzas. I'm going to tell you all that right now. Y'all don't. Y'all was one in here. I'd smash it right now.

You'd push the panic button on this fat boy. I just wouldn't order. Yeah. No, I've never turned down pizza. I don't care if it's the most garbage pizza ever. It's still pizza. I like it. I can't believe you two fat boys would pick on the other fat boy.

I'm a that's a backhanded compliment to me at least i'm not at least i'm not tall hey y'all lay the boy on hey pudgy you're getting a little older yeah hey you better watch it there watch you look down there and see your watch you look down there and see your belt we're 75 years against this little punch it don't matter they're not proud of it buddy it don't matter so rest of us are just overachievers that's it i just started early you need too much

hey when we start reading ads for ozimpic you can just say thank you you. Okay. Let's take a break. We'll be back at a break. You're gross. I'll eat anything. Take it home. I don't like pizza.

I'll eat it because I'm fat and I'm like that, but I'm big and I'm fat. And that's that. Back me up, son. I don't know that song, but I just made it up. House real big, cars real big, belly real big. Let me tell you how I live. Anybody ready? I guess.

Is that a real song? I think that's a good segue. That was Manny Fresh. You don't know no Manny Fresh? I hope he runs up. Buy that, 20 Foles ride that. Then it gets kind of dirty.

Oh, no, never heard it. That's why it's not on my playlist. Yeah, it shouldn't be. And if it ever gets on your playlist, make sure it's the radio version. Manny Fresh is most assuredly a man from New Orleans. Okay.

But he could be. Hello at dot com. That's the email address. mailbox John W. Johnny D. said before we started that he has the greatest email we've ever got. I forgot about that. He made that claim a few weeks ago too.

It's a good one. But I want to start here. I can't wait. David and Karen from Huntsville, Alabama. I don't have the photo. But in this photo, Willie looks tiny compared to Justin. That would be you. Is this an optical illusion?

That's yesterday. I bet. But you're way bigger than Willie. Yeah. So it's not an optical illusion. No, it kind of is because it's a weird, where is that? But Willie's what, like 5'10 and you're what, 6'4? Yeah, but see, big dog?

That's half a foot. Like, I mean, I, he's shrinking or something. Yeah, well, no, he looks short compared to Martin. Hold on. Martin looks like a giant. In other words, the boy's wasting a weight. Well, no, you're short. Again.

How tall are you? No, he's doing. You're 6'3. Stand up real quick. he's not 6-3 anymore yeah I am 6-2 base you used to be 6-3 I've been over get up say oh hey get up sigh hey he's got on a tiptoe boy hey I'm not on the tiptoes I'm just saying at there's an age in which people's I don't know I think they're well my wife tell me hey she said I'm not six three you know you're not you're not you said I've shrunk

that happens yes sir can I hope is that is Willie to the age where he's shrinking I think so yeah hey no he's not he's not No, no, no, no. He is freaking. I think he's getting shorter, and he suspiciously had on a vest yesterday. I saw the vest. I tried not to make fun of it. Oh, he's got the Al syndrome.

He clearly went shopping at an Al's house. He came up to Jared, our cameraman, that works for Duck Commander, and said, ooh, a little healthy there, aren't you? And Jared said, well, yeah, you see me with a vest on. I wonder where I got that from. Hey, Willie. It's Phillip. These boys in here talking about you. He's talking about your boss.

No, I'm just curious if he's, like, my dad, not as tall as he used to do. He seemed, he seems shorter. I'm not as tall as I once was. And I don't know, I mean, I don't, but I don't, you know, I don't spend a lot of time around him now. So I don't know. It happens. Nobody does. No, no.

He's an enigma. The boys out of town all the time. Yeah. I haven't seen him in a few years. Yeah, we had a Facebook Live deal to do yesterday where we were cooking. You made him? How's he doing? Huh?

You met him again? Who, will he? Yeah. He showed up like one minute after. after we were supposed to start with an apron on that he put on from the golf course. And then we started the live in. And then we started the live and he said,

I've been cooking and prepping all day. And of course it's live, so I can't say nothing. But I'm like, Big dog. I've been cooking for five hours. Big dog. Big dog.

And you just come up in here, you just roll up in here and do what Willie does. I can appreciate it. That's unusual for him. He's very good at it. Oh, he was so good at it. He was,

he owned. I did. And I was like, there ain't nothing say about it. I mean, you like your job. No, I do love my job. And I love him as a person. It just is so funny. He was like, yeah, well, three minutes ago, I was putting for a lot of money. He said, did you make it? And he said, no. No, he's no chance he made a put for money. No.

Always remember this. If you got the wrong last name, you need to keep your bags packed. I told you that before I got started. Bear, coming out. I told him. Yeah, what next? Yeah. Who's ready for the best one we've had in a long, long time? Firewood. Miss Hap from Uncle Sy. Uh-oh.

I'm glad my computer doesn't work so he can't read these ahead of time. Oh, good. I took Uncle Sy's advice on Vic's vapor rub for my hemorrhoids. Oh, no, no. Go the next one. Wisdom.

Well, when I... Oh, it gets better. Well, when I reached under the bathroom counter to grab the jar, didn't look at the label. Uh-uh. Yeah. What could this be?

And it ended up... I've gotten lots of questions now about when it keeps under his bathroom counters. I see hot. It's getting better. It ended up being a jar of Shaquille O'Neil's favorite, icy hot. Goes on hot to soothe the pain and cools off later. This ain't suck of size, miss out.

And when I applied it. Oh, it gets worse. I got a little too far forward. Oh, he got up in the, in the, well, I can't say it. In about 10 minutes, I had to call the ER to go. Oh, God. No, this can't be true. You'd have to ask Ryan.

Then it ends with the thing about Tommy Johns that I don't really understand. But I think we need to stop and say a prayer for this man. First of all. Also, open your eyes. And you shouldn't be drinking while you're treating hemorrhoids. Yeah. First of all, how did you miss? Hey, maybe his hand was, no, maybe his hand was numb.

Maybe he numbed his hand so he was just like. I'm just curious, how'd you miss? Like, that's a very, it's a very defined area. No, he forgot the first rule. I didn't know there were rules. What I had to talk about you? How many rules are there if there's a first one?

There's a rule in this, okay? You never preface this were ruling. Hey, engage your brain before you attempt any of this. I think it's funny you had your finger up when you did that. Well, I'm just telling you. Hey. No. So I give us a demonstration.

No, no. Okay. No. that mish out business is a bunch of bumps think you did on purpose this was okay somebody made a mistake like timeout so I got a question for you yeah is there a big difference between vix vapor rub

and icy hot oh yeah oh yeah yeah have you tried icey huh no I ain't gonna fool with icy hot well how you know these hey I've watched the commercial I mean they're both mentholed oh boy hey look that big man he puts it on his shoulders in him runs down and dunks a basketball. Shaquille O'Neill. There's the whole board down.

You reckon this guy took off running after he put the wrong stuff on there? Oh, I can't see. He took off to the ER. Hey, especially since he got it a little too far. How do you want to tell that story when you roll up to the ER? Hey, what happens? I bet they're like, yeah, we've heard that one before. Well, just started and fell and landed that way. Hey, look, hey, the judge could sing their song for him.

Uh-oh. And Paul, tell me about the good old day. Why's your grandpa involved in this miss-hap? Hey, hey. And how were they good old day? Yeah. Hey, it was. I'm just, I'm still, okay, so you grabbed the wrong container.

No, there's no. That's weird enough. No, there's no coming back from this. He just charged me with a mish out. So I was thinking about this song. Oh, yeah. No. Free falling.

Gross. I just don't, I can't take it no more. I can get over the missed product. I can't get over the mist product. a miss shot. Like, I just got a problem. That's a layout. Oh, hey, speaking about that.

Give me your best shot. That goes with us. I mean, it ain't a duck. It's not a moving target. It's there. You ever missed a golf ball? That ain't moving either. Yeah.

Just never forward. I always hit it fat. I don't ever hit one thing. I hope this guy's not a dentist, you know, or some kind of doctor that has to use his hands for something. Hey, bro. This guy was like, hold on, time out. Hey, hold on, time out.

You got to hit it. You got to hit it just right. Listen, if you're taking Uncle's size, hemorrhoid cream advice, you are not a learned doctor. That is confirmed. You're not, if you're listening to this podcast, probably not an educated person. No offense to those that are listening. Oh, you're as bad as that guy is on your miss on his miss house. Ain't nobody that's a learned doctor.

You don't go to school for eight years and put Victor paper up on your butt. Hey, look, don't knock it on this. You tried it. Okay? Well, this guy did try it and missed. Yeah. Well, hey, he didn't try the right product. It's Vince Vapebrook, not icy hot.

Society, you go around the corner or from down front. Oh, no, all right. There needs to be this. Oh, wow. He got too far forward. Oh, look, I got very good aim. There's no instruction. Okay, I'm not going to miss.

I have literally no idea how to transition out of this one. Well, usually you read the instructions. This didn't have instructions. Look, hey, I don't know. Go to the Bible and give us a verse. We're going to pray for this, man. Yeah, something about hot and cold. What you got?

He'll spit you out your mouth. No, focus. This needs to be about focus. If you're lukewarm, you're out of here, boys. That wasn't even my verse, because I have a really serious one, and I don't know how to get there. You're not going to get there. Look, Tim, I read your email.

I know what you're going through, and your family's going through, we're just going to leave it that we can't get too deep right now but we will be praying for you tim and on that note psalms 103 2 and 3 praise the lord my soul and forget not all his benefits who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases Tim they're in the right place is going to be all right it's scary as crap martin knows it i know it but we're rooting for you oh yeah we love you man we'll see y'all next time right here on the duck call room don't miss