Duck Call Room - Willie Robertson Has a Cheeky Nickname for His New Son-in-Law

Episode Date: June 10, 2021

Willie's youngest daughter, Bella, is officially married, and Willie reveals his nickname for her new husband. Uncle Si tells the story of the time he wore skunk-sprayed sneakers to a basketball game — on purpose. Willie drinks Si's tea for the very first time. Si misses Willie singing Hall and Oates at Bella's wedding. Willie acknowledges the healing power of shorty shorts, but he's torn on whether to embrace the trend in 2021. Martin explains why booty shorts violate his fashion rules, and Stone and Si won't wear shorts, period. Willie shares his nicknames for his grandkids and admits Sadie has already banned one potential nickname for her daughter. And a fan tries to get Willie in trouble with a question about wives who won't cook.  - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're back. Look, if you're listening on Apple or Spotify, be sure to leave us a rating and review. That way your friends can find us. That's kind of all the housekeeping I have right out the shoot. Oh, I do want to remind you, if you haven't yet, send us an email, tell us about your Scoremaster experience. That way you can be entered for the $100 gift card to purchase $100 worth of Duck Call Room merchandise. So our friends over at Scoremaster still have that going on. So shoot us an email over to hello at duckcallroom.com. Let us know that you've used scoremaster and what it's done for you,

and you're automatically entered. But without further ado, look, it's going to be a little bit quieter in here. No, it ain't going to be quieter. Here we kidding. John David's not here, but I think we found a suitable replacement in the boss. That's questionable. Oh, questionable. What's questionable, whether or not I'm suitable?

Yeah, whether you're suitable or not. I think I can handle it. You can't. Maybe, maybe so. You may can. You don't have a computer, which is a nice change of pace, that we don't have the internet just rolling through here this week. But that would be a hard.

I got a phone. I can get on it. Yeah. What does he do? Just sit here and look at his computer. Pretty much. Anything that Cy brings up, he looks at it, or he watches soccer. He Googles it.

He Googles everything. He's the Uncle Cy fact checker. Yeah. That's it. That's it. And surprisingly, most of them are correct. I'm betting about a thousand, boys. He's about 7.50.

No, about 7. I'd give him over 850 in the spirit of college baseball. I've actually been sending John Luke's stuff that I would like to hear about. So some of the things that he's brought up are from the mind of his boss. Yeah, he's mentioned it. He's mentioned like, Willie really wanted us to talk about this. I don't know why, but, you know, and then we'll go down that road. I just get tickled over things I read about.

Like cigarettes and tacos and all that kind of stuff. I think the dude who blew the tannerite up for the baby reveal, that was one of my favorites. Oh, yeah, crack the foundations on the houses and funny. is that. Oh, that's a redneck in Christless. New Hampshire or something, Vermont somewhere.

Now, that surprised me. Yeah. That's one of those rectangle states up north. Yeah. One of those that sits side by side. Yeah,

I can't figure them all out, but it was one of those. Do you guys watch, you don't watch it, but do you watch the TNT basketball coverage like with Shaq and Charles Barkley? No, but I do.

You should watch it. They generally put the highlights of Barclay and Shaq on some, on some sort of social media every day. I mean, the game is whatever it is, but them two talking. But something just hit me. This is brand new information hot off the press. Si is like Shaq.

He just says quick things, hard to understand, but and total opposite human beings. But you're kind of like Shaq. You just kind of, have you ever, have you ever seen that? They were talking about how great Shaq was in basketball. I said, if I was the referee, Shaq would have fouled out in the first three minutes. Because you can't see. No, no, because all he does is push people out of the way. And, I mean, the man's seven foot tall, so he dunks the ball.

How hard is that? Push the guy out of the way, dunk the ball. See, that sounds like Shatt. That sounds like something Shack would say. And then you'd have Chuck over, no, no, no, man. Now, Markley, he had a little class to him. Shaq didn't Sal, you've lost your mind.

One, you didn't watch basketball. We all know that. Yeah, I did. Growing up, I watched basketball. Growing up. Yeah. Growing up. Well, we're going up.

Wait. Growing up, it was black and white. Like on TV. It was still basketball, okay? I'm talking about when basketball was basketball, when Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, and all them guys were playing. They played basketball, okay? It wasn't all less shoving and pushing.

They did it with finesse. They were the dirtiest players in the league. You ever heard of a guy named Bill Lane Beer? Si says in the 80s, they weren't shoving and pushing. He'd push him out of the way. I mean, well, side, okay, there's so many levels. I need to break that apart. So let me start by saying, in the 80s, you were still considering yourself growing up.

Okay. How old were you in the 80s? 80s. I don't know. I'd like to look it up. Well, let's do the math. Let's do the math. When were you born?

48. I was born 27th of April, 1948. Okay, 48. Now, by the time we get, so you're in your 30s. 32 in 1980s. 32 and 80. But he said bird, that's when they came on. Well, hey, I'm still growing up, son.

Okay. So you're considering yourself when you're 35 when you were growing up. I'm still growing up. Okay. So in my mind, when I hear. someone say, hey, when I was growing up, that meant like when you were 14 or 17 or 12 or 8, not when you're in your mid to the latter 30s. Let's say growing up generally.

That's like zero to 25 growing up. Right. I mean, because that's y'all. That's your opinion. So first fact check. You know my opinion is way off on his growing up. Everybody's got a couple of them. Okay.

And then he says in basketball, they didn't pull. push and shove each other back in the day like they do today. You haven't watched the basketball game in decades. Okay. Now you can't push and shove. That's over. They don't even touch each other anymore. They call a flage or a foul.

They stop the game. They look at it again. And there literally is no pushing and shoving. That's over. So you're totally wrong on your analysis of that. And Shaq was not even the worst at pushing and shoved. Shack was just bigger. Okay.

Okay. Here we go. A question. Okay. Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, and them guy and them that was always in the championship playoff. Yep. Okay.

They passed the ball behind their backs, running down the court, ain't even looking passing the ball. There was more talent back in them days than there are to date. Okay. You're wrong again. Yeah. In your opinion. Today's game, they still pass the ball behind their back.

They can still do that. That hasn't been a lost art, okay? They don't do it anymore. Some of the players back in the day when you were growing up in your 40s and 30s, honestly, they look like they work at the paper mill. I mean, they look like they got off a shift. They're just big dudes, okay? Larry Burr was not really a physical specimen, you know, just a big dude who could shoot

and pass and other things. Today's athlete is literally an athlete. They could do anything they want to do. They shoot. I mean, it's unbelievable. it's just a different game, but for you to say that they're not as athletic or skilled is frankly absurd. I mean,

you do realize like Steph Curry plays on the second level of tour golf, right? I mean, he qualified for that side. He can shoot a basketball and he plays on the whatever it is, and he plays golf too. And he's really good. Well, no, okay. I'll give you, okay. So, I mean,

but hey, that's an extreme example, I know, but it used to be a wrestling match. when they played basketball, especially for the big guys. Yeah, now they can't touch each other anymore.

Well, hey, it's about time. Honestly, I kind of like the wrestling match. I kind of enjoyed the like, you know, it's kind of like where hockey still is, right? Yeah.

Like, actually hockey, you can just, I mean, none of us, let's be honest, none of us watch hockey. No,

no. I can't even, I'm watching it. I don't even understand. I can't follow the puck. Like, that thing needs to be fluorescent and they need,

need to when they televise it it should always be in slow motion because i never get and they need less people on the ice there's too much traffic out there that's why you can't see what's going on like but i do like three on three or something i do like when whatever happens and i'm not sure how it or who gets mad or what they just they just start hitting each other gloves off helmets off and fight like men that's what go back to your point kenny was it kenny kennie smith charles barclay and shack talking about the game is way more entertaining than the game itself. 100%.

It's really fun. It's probably the best show on TV. No, no, hand down. Hands down. Now, they're better commentators than there was players. When Barclay called Anthony Davis street closed the other night. That was fantastic. When he said, oh, street closed Davis over here.

Every time I see him, he's in street clothes. And then what does he do? He comes out, Anthony, which he used to play for the New Orleans Pelicans. I think the Lakers just sold their soul to devil. They got their one championship. Nobody watched it. Nobody cared because it was COVID. And now they get me by the son.

And now they, well, they're just old. They just got old. But he came out. He couldn't play. He looked like Jay Stone. Now, y'all don't know this. But back in the day, Jay Stone, I watched him as a kid playing. I was a coach.

And so he could shoot. His dad was my coach as well, actually. He couldn't stand me. but so I knew Jay could shoot three so I recruited him into my league my basketball league so he comes out he's not all yoked up and in shape like he is now he was quite a little portly but he still had a little game so he's running up down the floor first game of the year and I'm like well maybe we can get something and then I heard what sounded like a 22 go off just a piao and it was old stone's hamstring and he's laying just circling in the middle of the court

And I'm like, I didn't even say pick him up. I just said slide him off. That's right. Push him out of the way, boys. He's like, I need some water. I need water. I'm like, get out. Get on back to the duck car rooms.

Your athletic career is over. It was that sudden change of direction that got me. Oh, I miss that basketball team. That was fun. Hey, I'm still playing. Oh, I'm still doing it. 49 years old, I'm still playing. Have you ever popped a hamstring?

Mm-mm. I ain't ever moved. fast enough to pop a hamstring. It's like, you know, your hamstring, it stretches out like this, but when it, when it pops, it just, it just coals up in a ball. I watched him do it. I witnessed him. I witnessed his episode. Yeah, racing little wheel. Yeah. I had him too. And it was a, it was an audible pop on his too, because we're standing there. Everybody's hollered and then you just, you hear, and then all of a sudden he's like a wet dish rang. He just rolled up. I rolled across the finish line. and I never forget they said all right Willie that was awesome let's do another tape

I said boys we ain't gonna do another take for a couple more episodes yeah this is one only boy that was pretty good team with squad we had that our best player was 5-6 300 yeah he was big than 5-6 5-7 5-8 yeah I mean he was 300 it's more correct but he could shoot oh good you know what I've got a B we'll just call him B yeah B could shoot that's like the Army that's why they send in tanks and all you used foot soldiers get behind the tank. You just send the 300 man, tell him to run down court, get behind him. This 300

I like the Army. We don't get behind it. This 300 was finesse. This 300 was finesse. He wasn't power. I mean, he could power. Tried up at the top of the key. Sire, you play basketball in high school, right? Yeah. Did you all be any good? No, I was never talented in the

sports arena, okay? Any of them. Any of them. Okay, I just didn't have it. But he's the best shot we got. But he does. He does have a story where he scored 52 points because of his shoes.

The skucks. Yeah. They couldn't guard me, boys. Oh, wait, well, we ain't told that one yet. And we're not going to tell it just yet. Let's take our first break. And then we'll get on them shoes. Yeah, we'll be right back.

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She isn't a big meat easier, folks. Yeah. Just go to trybeef.com slash. That's trybeef.com slash support ranch families and eat some dang good steak. All right, we're back. Sigh, look, our fans, unless they've bought your book, don't know about your stellar basketball career.

Your points high at Vivian High School or wherever you went to high school. North Caddo. North Caddo. North Caddo. So what, tell us, what was your best basketball game you ever had? Well, I got to tell you,

my brother, Phil, run a trap line when he was in high school. Y'all may have heard of Phil. Phil Robertson, I'm not sure if y'all are worried his brother. He ran away. Explain what that is.

You're sitting out. trap trying to catch mink, raccoons, bobcat, whatever, put in, you know, their foot and their stuff. Fur bears. Yeah, whatever. Trying to make, trying to sell them birds. You're selling fur here. Yeah.

Mostly we catch a lot of cones and in, hey, every once in a while, here's the way it happened. You know, he comes in, he runs this for four school. So he comes walking in and we smell him coming, okay? You know, he comes in and I's, well, I caught five coons and a mink, and I guess you know what else I caught because everybody's out running out the back door. He had a skunk caught in a steel trap. Okay.

And while he was doing this, okay, the skunks just sprayed him down, I mean, holds him down like a fireman. Okay. So the boy stunk, well, hey, mama just told him, get outside, get naked, bury everything you've got to. and then come in here and I'll try to get this off of you, you know. And it never did go away. So look, basketball, this is like a year later, basketball season's coming up.

Okay, I need some tennis shoes. Phil had a brand new pair of tennis shoes that morning when he run into the skunk. So look, I go out there, you know, I dig it up, okay. You dug up his tennis shoes? Oh, yeah, I dug them up. And look, they didn't smell that bad. Yeah. So, hey, and look, they wasn't rotten.

They were brand new tennis shoes. So I guess skunk spray is a preservative? Oh, no. So look, hey, I put them on, okay. We're in the game, you know, and they pass me the ball. Hey, I'd be able to look and lay it up, you know. And I hear the coach on the other team, somebody, get on him, guard him, you know. And the guy's something like, coach, he stinks.

Yeah. So I scored something like 40. two points at night. Okay? Because they couldn't hang with me. They couldn't stay. They just, the smell was too bad.

The smell was so bad, they couldn't, they couldn't guard me. All I ever heard was, hey, get on him. I can't coach. He stink like a skunk.

Oh, what did you do with them shoes is what I want to know. You didn't score 42 every game? I'd have just ran them back. Well, hey, no, that was the only game

I put them on. They made me take them off a dumb way. Put a friend. Your lucky shoes. Yeah, it was foul, boy.

They said it was foul. I said, well, hey, you know. You could have been playing against some of them boys if you'd have kept them shoes. Who knows? Wasn't allowed, boys. What position did you play in basketball? Hey, I was a guard. Guard?

Yep. I did have a bad hook shot, though. Like bad good or bad? No, no. Bad good. Bad good? Yeah. Because who's the guy for the Lakers that used to?

Kareem. Abdu. Yeah. Abdu. Abdu. You can't guard a hook shot. I don't care, I tell you are. You can't guard it because, hey, you got it behind you

okay, you just flip it. And if you flip it good, you just So correct me if I'm wrong, but I remember on the outdoor TV show, they were filming a episode at the wreck, Sigh tossed about his hook shot, calls it the crane or something. The hook. Fear the crane. Fear the crane. He cuts it loose

about 10 feet behind the three point line and draino. Drano. You would have thought, hey, you would have thought that was duck dynast in one of the episodes you would have thought i had won the NBA championship well you shot it 20 times before that never sniffed the rim then they turned the camera on and you got on the same are you kidding the crowd went nuts yeah you've always been a performance i'm behind the half court line and do a hook shot and hey okay you're stretching it out a little bit now you're stretching it out a little bit now i'm behind half court no but anyway hey it wasn't

Nothing but net, buddy. All you heard was swish. I'm not taking away from you making a shot. You wouldn't pass a half-court line. No. You was about two steps behind the three-point line up. I mean, you wouldn't close. I'll give you that, but you weren't past half-court.

I don't even remember this. But it was still impressive. What show was it on? Duck Commander. Bunnelly presented. Oh, it was on there. Oh, yeah. What was this?

Made it. Oh, was this where I was coaching. Yeah, the basketball team. I was coaching Sadie's team. Yep, that's right. Yes. I remember that now. I forgot about him making a house.

hook shot. Oh yeah. Made it. You thought I'd won an NBA Templars. It shot it 25 times before we started rolling

and then lights, camera, action and the guy makes it. It's incredible. Of course. Hey, pour me some of that thing. Just a little bit. Just a little bit.

Just give me a little shot of that. Just pass it around. We're pouring it up today, just a warning of you may end up like that after drinking. Hey, that's really colored shining. I never drank

Uncle Size ice tea in my I'm kind of in a bind, boys. No, that's freshly booed this morning. It's solid. No, he's good. It's solid. Yeah. It's good.

Yeah. I've drank it. I always said I drink as much tea as him. I'm just not as famous for it. If you saw how he makes his tea, you wouldn't drink it. Wait a bit. What are you talking about? How many ways are there to make tea?

Yeah. I've never used tap water in a microwave to make tea. Really? He does the tap water. What? No. I do it. You just eat the water?

You boil it. I boil it. It is boiling. And the microwave. So you boil? Yeah, it's just that. And the microwave. In the microwave or on the oven.

Most time I just put it in the oven. You know, put it on a pan. Fill it full of water. Throw five tea bags in it and get after it. Here's the deal. So I used to ball. Well, I didn't wouldn't ball it, but I get it to almost a ball, put the tea bag in. So I did it old school as well.

But look, I had a dude over. Corey had put out this fancy crystal looking pitcher. My water went to boil. Didn't realize. I'm pouring the water in. I'm talking to the guy and literally I had the thought, can you pour boiling water in something like this? And as soon as the thought went through my brain,

it exploded and all of my tea went on to my thighs and my lower leg, which was boiling water. Yeah. It's burnt. Let me tell you something. Yeah, it burnt pain. Don't ever do that. We probably still got some pictures.

Don't ever do that. That's a DED. Two months. Don't ever do this. And I told the doctor, I said, well, I got to play in a golf tournament next week. And he said, no. No, you ain't going to make that. I said, oh, yeah, I'll be, I will be your patient that will be it.

That wasn't even a chance. So I had to wear a little shorty shorts for two months and scrape it all off. I had to wear a Christian short. I want to talk about my shorts at the next section. I need to ask some other men about my shorts. That's perfect timing. Look, we'll try to find a picture of that too because y'all need to see his legs from back in there.

If you want a picture of the shorts, just get on Christians. We'll bring him shorts back. Let's circle back to that. We'll be right back after this. Well, boss, you wanted to talk about your shorts. Oh, there it is. Uh-oh. That's my thighs.

Oh, from the burn. From the burns. I was like that when I'm in the Bahamas. and did, you know. Yours was caused by the sun. You didn't do that. Oh, hi, it was just as bad. No.

I'm serious. Don't you take away from my second degree burn? No, his wasn't, his was first degree sunburn, though. Yeah. It was bad. It was. Hey, my whole.

But it wasn't sloughing skin bad. Yeah, I mean, it, I mean, the first thing he did was just fill up with liquid. It felt like I had water balloons hanging off my leg. And I went in there the doctor said, said you got to scrape this every day with a wash rag and dialed soap or I'm going to do it. And the nurse said, don't let him do it.

And so I put a rag in my mouth. I get in the bathtub. I get soap on it. And you got to scrape all that dead skin. And it ain't wanting to come off. And so it was. That makes me hurt. Oh, that makes me hurt.

When it got me right in my inner thighs. Uh-oh. I mean, I was inches from major, major. I don't know what happens then. Well, that junk is cold. The aloe vera. Yeah. All I did, I bought four, five, four or five gallons.

This is so far above. You don't buy the stuff I had to put on my light. You don't go. This was some kind of silver. It had silver in it. I kept mine froze with that junk about that thick over my whole, on both legs. Oh, yeah. So I was in a rough spot.

Oh, no. But it wasn't. Why? You just stand out of the sun all. day. Well, hey, I put stupid sunscreen on and... Oh, why is it? Like, once. No good. He put it on once.

No, it didn't. I put it on. Hey, I put it on. Yeah, 30, yeah. And then he... The sun just laughed. The sun was just belly laughing at what you put on. He slept. He slept all day while we were on the boat. So he's laid on a beam bag with like his legs out from under the Bimini top of the boat. Hey, I've seen his legs. They ain't seen the sun in a couple of decades.

And they ain't seen it since either. Yeah. That was the last time they saw. And they never will. I felt bad for him. That poor boy was in a bind where the legs burnt a look at. It was a three-day vacation and me and Stone had some kind of bug virus. Okay.

And me and him both stayed in the house. Okay. Yeah, that's the worst pain I've ever had. Anyway, about my shorts. So recently my kids, so I've had my same shorts. I mean, once you get a pair of shorts, I mean, I have them for, 15 years. Yeah, I just keep wearing.

I mean, they don't wear out. Really? You ain't ever busted them? Yeah. Dang. I put that thread stretch to the limit up in there. Mine are kind of bigger.

That's kind of where I'm getting to. So they're not, yeah, I'm not into the, you know, mine are just kind of hanging there. Yeah. So apparently all my kids laugh at me and say my shorts are too long.

You on that basketball shorts? No. I mean, every pair of shorts I buy is too long, but I'm getting them from a store. I don't know, you know. So they said, dad, the shorts are now, they're shorter now.

No. Now, this is the debate. They said, look at Christian. It's always Christian. Look at Christian. Well, yeah. It looks like the form that the thing, you know. Yeah, when you go to the stores.

The model. It's basically Christian. Yeah, he's the mannequin. That's a gray face or whatever. And they said, no, his shorts don't. But I realize, I have surprisingly short legs. Because Corey and are the same height, but her. Her legs are like nine inch.

Her hip is nine inches above mine. So my, yeah. So she got a short course of it. I'm possibly deformed. I'm not sure, but my legs are short. But the waist didn't like skinny. Yeah. So when you,

when you hit that waist size, there's an assumptive length to the knee. Preach. Preach. But that's not true on me. You know, it's like, no legs.

I mean, I'm pushing around the 40 waistline. So they're like, oh, well, we know what this size of sky is. I'm like, no, I'm not even. I'm half that. person. Yeah. So I've got this look, you know, and so I'm trying to now, but I feel like when I wear the shorts, I feel like I'm back playing basketball again in high school, like when

I was growing up in the 80s, and they feel a little awkwardly short, but I'm a set. I think I'm going with this look because they're telling me that's what everybody's doing. I have 100%. Do I do I get so dear duck call room, do I get rid of all my shorts that are longer to the knees or past, or do I go with the new 2021? What is? I don't even know what year. Yeah, 2020. Yeah, 2021 look of the more snugly shorter shorts.

I'm a firm. I'm a firm believer. When you sit down, the back of your shorts should be right there at the back of your knee. Like that's just, I don't. That's your fashion. No, I'm not saying it's fashion. I'm saying it's, it's, it's cooth. It's covering.

You can't realize. Yeah. When was it in the 80s? Short shorts. Well, back when Larry Bird, see, we're going to bring this all the way back to the basketball. I still have nightmares. You know, you'd go back to my dad being a coach. He'd wear them bike coaching shorts that were short and really tight in the crotch area.

Well, your dad was similar to me, although your dad was at a different level than me. As far as waist size was comparative to how far it goes to the neck. Like, your dad's waist size, he coached me. His waist size would have said he was eight foot. two. That's right. Yeah. But bike,

but he wasn't. He was about six foot. But you know those shorts I'm talking about. Oh, one hundred percent. Oh, with the wheel, really wide base.

Oh, yeah. The band, you know. Oh, yeah. The stretchy band. That's back when coaches, though, had chewing tobacco and cigarettes in their pockets,

you know. That was all my coaches in Dixie, they had them little short things. They had some kind of tobacco products hanging out of the back. You show up at a ballpark like that now. They'd be like, uh-uh, that ain't going to fly. Yeah.

So then the shorts got really long, probably overly long. Yeah, yeah. But y'all feel like you still, you still need to be around the knee. First, don't wear your shorts. Where's yours hitting? Well, now I'm to the point where I don't wear shorts ever. You're off shorts. I wear fishing pants, stretchy waistband.

You never wear shorts. I mean, it's June. It's getting really hot. They have these pants now. They're lightweight. They're so light. Yeah. I mean, it's almost like wearing nothing.

Yeah. I mean, they are. I don't think I give up my shorts. I like shorts. I still wear shorts, but they are, they're to the need. But I wear pants 90% of the time now. I've gotten off of shorts. I mean, I used to wear shorts every day.

Like, once it hit March, like that's short time. Like, we can wear short breeches in. Gobind still does. Yep. You know. So what kind of shorts are you wearing these days? I don't wear shorts. Ever?

No, ever. When's the last time you wore? I just remembered it where he wears. cut off. He wears jorts. Like he's got jeans that got cut off, but they're to the knees. So they're like,

oh, yeah. He said, oh, yeah. I'm with Martin on the knee deal, okay, you know, especially if you got the big blousy pants, you don't want them,

you don't want them, they got to be down to the knee or, hey, everything's not going to be covered up. Especially as you get older. Yeah. As you get older and gravity takes them.

He can't pull off the little 80s basketball. Now, since John David's not here, I can speak for him because I'm with him all the time. And John David still, he wears shorts like a child, like giant basketball shorts past his knees. To work. Oh, that's all he wears. Exclusively, yeah. Matter of fact, that's all he wears. I've never seen him with a pair of long panther.

So guys, you know that we had our wedding. Bella got married Saturday. night at our house and it was a big thing uh which by the way sigh was there side what did you think about the wedding no i wasn't oh my gosh i wasn't i what hey what you can't show up to your no no i had i had an event that was on the calendar son for a year okay and then i told the other night when we was wherever we was at i said bellie you getting married this saturday right she said yeah i said yeah sorry babe i'm not going to be able to make it i got i got events been on my calendar for Tell Willie what the event was.

Snake rodeo. Oh, my gosh. Did you get paid to be? Yeah. Yeah. I wouldn't have missed it otherwise. Right. But I told her and her husband to be, okay, which he is now.

Yeah. And I said, hey, I wish he's the best. Sorry, I can't be there, but I. John David, every time I looked at the food line, John David was in it. I mean, oh, I mean. Well, he's a big boy. And your son and a law. He's going to be even bigger.

Your son-in-law was right there beside him. And he's got a good appetite. Christian. Right. Him and Christian were, they're tapping at that time. I mean, John David kept going. He went through the line so much. He looked like, I think he had a gravy stand on the bottom of his belly from where he just kept sliding across.

He just slide through there again. It was crazy. It was a line was crazy, long. There was, there was. He's taking a knife. He's taking a knife. Oh, he just. If anybody wants, I also have about a 30-second video of John David dancing at the wedding.

He has no idea. Hey, could he get down? No, he was just jumping around. I figured you. It was bad. But I videoed it. So we've got that for our own. We do have a video.

Oh, yeah. John Davy, by the end of the night, so the dance, we had this, it was kind of like scaffolding built up. So we're probably eight foot off the ground. It was like a trampoline.

Well, you could get on it. Oh, it got to move. It was moving. Yeah. Oh, okay. I really thought the whole thing was going down. I thought it was going town. Yeah, there was a lot of weight on it.

Which I kind of would have liked to have said just, I mean, the whole thing, because everybody would just went in the pond. That would have been funny. That would have been funny. Which, by the way, kudos to you on the closing of the ceremony. When you actually sang the Hall of Notes part, that was fantastic. That was not planned either. I got up there and they kept playing.

So they walked out, Sal, you wasn't there. So I explained. So they walked out to Hall of Notes. make my dreams come true, one of your old favorites. And it was a real band, like an orchestra kind of deal. And so when I got up on the stage, I was supposed to close it out. And Corey's like, here's what you say exactly. But they kept playing.

And I thought, well, why not? Why not? Go for it. You make my dreams. It would have been funnier if I would have known that first line. If I was just come out with the. But I couldn't remember how it exactly started. I'm sorry.

I missed it. You hit it. You hit it perfect. I was, well, you. everybody stopped talking and we all started singing we all started singing with him because everybody knew i mean you know the haul and oats stuff oh i was i was encouraged that they chose haul and oats to walk out to because they was too i was surprised that they even knew what that was yeah yes exactly i was like okay they they will make this this is gonna be all right

because you know i mean i watched bella grew up well i'm sorry i missed that i mean diapers so i mentioned you in there yeah we all were like best friends for a while Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, so I was there like, godly, you want to talk about feeling old, man.

Well, I said Bella grew up so fast, like, because she literally, because I guess her friends were adults and she kind of bypassed school. She, you know, sped up on that.

And then boom, she got married at 18. So, I mean, it was like quick. Yeah. It was a fast track adulthood. It was crazy.

She's always kind of acted older. But it was awesome. She was, she looked great. Shocker. Yeah. It was, It was a great time.

It was a huge thing, man. That was a huge deal to put on. And how do you feel? That's it. You're out of the wedding business. I'm out of girl. Well, I'm out of girls. That's the last wedding planner.

I said at the end of the ceremony that now I can focus them on my new growing business of a daycare. So they're babies, every room. I mean, there's crying. And John Luke's staying with us because they're remodeling their home. and so it's every day. And little John Shepherd, who I call Smockety McSmockerton, because all he wears is Smocks. And so he comes in, John Luce just dumps him in our bed about 7 o'clock.

And this morning I awoke to just a quick slap right between my eyes from a little smock. So he likes to pop me in the face and then I grab and throw him. So every morning, it's like wake up to Smockety McSmockerton from Smockville. And you're loving it. Oh, I love it. Captain, he's amazing. He's in, yeah, Captain Smock. He's in all kind of smockery.

Side, do you know what a smock is? No. You know what a smock is. That's something that an artist puts on to keep paint off of it. That's one thing I think of a smock. It's a little, I don't know. Well, it's smock. Yeah.

Okay. It's one of those little baby suits where it's like, it's like a one-piece thing and has all the little, you know, frills. Yeah. Smog-de-smog. And I'm telling you, his mother has like, they're out of smog, because she got bought everyone. And the wedding was just the king of all smock because he had the little white socks

sewn up to his knees with the little shoes. Oh, man. Oh, yeah. Them grandkids made the wedding, too. They were a little, little Zane. He come marching down there in his high water overall. Oh, yeah. He walked in there, handed that pillow, said,

I'm out. All right, boys, I've carried these rings far. I'm gone. That's the little baby juju man. Then we got Smockety McSmokerton. And then now, John Luke's daughter, Ella, I call Floppy McFlopperson because she just flop. She has like no skeletal thing.

She just flops over. Now, Sadie is mortified on what I'm going to call honey. All right? And I haven't made the determination yet. He made it, Chip, boy. She's different. She ain't floppy McPherson. flopperson she doesn't flot i mean she's like her dad it's she's bowed up already she's three weeks

oh she looks around you know she's like i mean she's got muscles i don't know i don't know what i'm not sure so they they said dad if you call her a honey boo boo boo it is over it is over do not drop a honey boo boo-boo boy i mean what are you supposed to do there's so many things with honey and so I just kind of wait and look at the personality, and then I'll make, I'll determine the nickname. Well, my favorite moment over the whole weekend was at the rehearsal dinner. Willie says, he said, well, you know, Sadie comes in with nice guy from Niceville, Florida, and then Bella rose up. Christian from Niceville, Florida. Christian from Niceville, then Bella raised in butt cut from Baltimore.

Oh, you didn't. Oh, you didn't. Oh, I had to. Oh, my son-in-law's nickname is butt cut. First time he walked in, he's got this long hair with just a crack right down the middle of it. And I said, what's up, butt cut? Butt cut from Balkanville. Oh, my goodness.

And then at the wedding, I told everybody that everybody could go down for the dance floor and the food. And I said that his family could actually go fishing if they wanted to, because I assume, you know, they're from that part of the town that may be fishing. And I said, but do not start bringing your boats in. And this is a one night only invitation to fish. Because I know how they are. I know. I'm telling you, they'll start throwing boats up over the fence. You know, they'll have trot lines out.

Oh, they'll be, they'll have like jug fishing out there, light set up. I've seen it too many times. I'm not trying to be judgmental on any of that crew either. But we were there and I was waiting in line, get me something to drink. And his hand in front of him, gets like nine things to drink. I said, look here, buddy. I said, this ain't like most wedding.

They will not run out. It's going to keep, yeah. They will not. And if they do run out, there will be more brought here. So you don't have to like go, go rattle you some drinks over and aside. You ain't got to do that here, buddy. This is biblical. We won't run out.

Yeah. You know, we won't run out. I'm sorry. I miss this. Oh, it was a good time. Oh, yeah. Well, you got to go back money, so I get it. You know, you miss these once in a lot.

time events because you got to go make your money. It was a fun, it was a fun wedding and reception. It was a, it was a very good time. The only part that was a little treacherous was getting around because of the rain. Oh, man. I kept saying, I found some girl's shoe out in the yard on the way to the bus. Like the bottom part of her shoe just broke off in the mush. I'm shocked that no way felt like really bad fell because it was just.

Oh, Brittany about. But anybody ate it on the floor. Yeah. Part of the floor. I did too. Yeah. It was, yeah,

I'm surprised. I was like, that's me. I'm sitting there going, somebody's going to sue me. Oh, my property. Like,

I'm mortified. Everybody's celebrating and jumping dancing and I'm like, run around taping down things. I mean, because girls are wearing like high heel shoes. I mean, it's mud.

Mud. It's just. Straight mud. It rained that morning. It's been raining a lot. But it was fun. It was a lot of fun. Oh,

it was a good time. I'm just, that's it. That's all at your house, though. No more. No more at the house. That was quite the... Well, I mean, yeah, I mean, somebody else could get married at the house. Yeah, but...

You're not in charge of it. Yeah. That's exactly right. And about 11 o'clock, 11 o'clock, we're all sitting there over at Al's. Boom, whoo! Oh, here, come about shooting 10-Rine. Oh, Stone had flashback. Oh, yeah. That's it.

Didn't the fireworks came. You ain't, you ain't having a wedding in my place unless the cop. are being called for the fireworks. Yeah. So everybody starts calling the cops, and I'm like, they're all here. They're in on it, boys. I hate to ruin this for you.

I ain't know about it. Oh, it was awesome. Yeah, it was good. I actually watched it from the church parking lot. I just got on the bus and got over and I heard boom, boom, I said, oh, man, we almost made it. And then we watched it from there. You got to hang around.

Even after Jacob and Bella left, the band came back down, did a whole other That band's awesome too. They're unbelievable. They're fantastic. They're so fun. It was epic. Yeah, I went to bed about 2.45. Well, we had to get everybody out.

Yeah. And then I was in church the next morning. Then he was at church teaching your evangelism class. I had two good studies. Yeah, that's good. No, that was a heck of a time. Y'all went out on the wedding business with a bang. So that was good.

It was good when they ended on. Yeah, that was fantastic. And you got you a couple. Fine son-in-law's. I do. Well, I'll say that. One TVD, but. Well, no, I'm kidding.

They're both really different, but they're both athletic. They got a, yeah, they're fun, man. They're both want-to-be hunters, so they're really getting into it. And, yeah, I think they're going to be pretty good outdoorsmen. I can't tell you how glad I am that I did not get hung with a nickname butt cut from welcome. He did it to himself. Now that line I worked on, that one I thought, I'm going to drop that.

Because all his family was there. So they're all sitting there. I'm basically going to make fun of half the crew, but it's going to be really fun. I was looking at his dad said over it. Would you say that? He was. So what was he talking about? He's talking about my kid?

I wanted to start this relationship off right. If I got an open microphone, get ready. it's coming. I'm breaking it. Lord, have mercy. Oh, well, we don't work our way through one break. Let's take another one right here. We'll be back right after this. All right, we're back with our final segment.

A lot of times the most fun segment, even though this whole deal's been fun today. I ain't going to lie. But we're in that hello at duckcallroom.com mailbag. Willie, this is generally John David's territory, but you're filling in for him. So what did you find in there? Well, here's what, here is the question.

This is from Caleb And Caleb asked I'm looking for advice Because my wife does not cook Well you are in luck Caleb We both work But I still cook when I come home

How do you train your wife Easy easy easy Easy language Caleb To cook for you To put it nicely Her cooking is so bad That I will never have to be weighed To get on a plane

Okay, so we got a thin man. Okay. Wow, there's a lot to unpack here, Caleb. Okay. Your wife does not cook. Neither does mine. We both work, so do we. You cook, so do I.

How do you train your wife to cook for you? Okay, just lose that language, okay? We're not training. Get rid of that. I trained my Labrador retriever. I had her trained, all right? I've trained other things. The wife is not one that I'm training really to do anything.

But you want to eat and you're never be, you're not scared of getting too fat. So here's the deal. Corey, I determined this. She thought she was going to cook. We've been married 29 years. About year,

probably three, I realize this isn't going to work out. Not the marriage, her cooking part. And so I just said, you know what? you do a lot of other really good things like really good things things that i'm frankly more interested in than than even cooking so i said let's just focus in on those and you do those spectacular

whatever you do and i'm going to take care of the food and so i'm the cook she's not the cook when i'm out of town i don't know what they eat um but it's not good food um but the fact that she that she doesn't cook good actually, you know, she's, she's thin and in shape, which is great. Because if she liked to eat as much as I did, then we both may have to get weighed to get on a plane. So it's, you know, hey, you got to take the positive out of it. So, but one thing that Corey got interested, she was, which I say that Corey is into sour dough. So she's gotten into this.

So now she's making this bread all the time, which is amazing. But one thing that helps, she got interested in outdoor smoking. And so I'm with a company called Pit Boss. That's awesome. You can set this up. You put the pellets in. You set the time. It does everything for you.

You put the meat in and you've got this amazing food that's outside smoking. So maybe you and Caleb, you and your spouse can do that together because you really don't do anything. You put it in there and you wait. Yeah. Walk away from it. Yeah. The worst thing you do is sit there and look at it. Yeah, you come back out and you pull it out and it's amazing food.

So perhaps look into maybe something different, like maybe outdoor smoking. You can do that with a pit boss. And otherwise, just don't worry about it. And so maybe it'll come on. Now, Corey has changed over the years. When we first met, she hated coffee. Now she drinks coffee every morning. She ate mayonnaise.

Now she hates mayonnaise. and she eats mustard. So it's weird. It's like she's made this big turn throughout life. So you never know, Caleb. It may not be like this forever. Circumstances may change. And you may eat out a lot, you know.

And so frankly, I like to cook. And so, but maybe that passion, maybe you could do some stuff together. That's my advice to you and figure it out. But as far as the training part, I would just drop that from any language. Okay. Nobody needs to get trained here.

Because she's a bad cook. Okay. You don't want to eat that either. You don't want to eat that. Yeah. Okay. So, hey, like you said, hey, get that out of your vocabulary. You're not going to train her, okay?

She probably is not interested in it. Okay, because real good cooks, they're interested, and they put in a lot of time. Yeah. Lots of time. With the food preparation. Just like Bella. Bella loves to cook.

And she's a great cook, and obviously her mom doesn't cook a whole lot. Corey doesn't cook a whole lot. Well, Corey's probably, the reason she doesn't like to cook is because of what size said, the time. Yeah. So Corey, when she decides to, the moment she decides she may want to cook is when she's hungry to eat. You missed it. Yeah. You missed the window.

She hadn't planned. You've got to look forward. I know how my body is. At some point, I'm going to go, I'm going to get hungry. Yeah. And I'm going to want to eat. So I've got to go back about eight hours and decide what that's going to be, what a more. Yeah.

What preparation. I'm going to go to the store. I'm going to marinate. Something's going to have to be done. And by the time I get to where I consume, all that legwork has been done. Or I'm eating something that someone else cook that they're selling me,

that frankly, I can do way better than that. So really cooking is about planning. Yeah, but you made a good point. Okay. You got to look at what your relationship is. Okay. Like Willie said, Corey does a lot of things that he likes

and would rather her, spend the time on that and hey I'll take care of the food yeah and that's what that's what Caleb needs to do even if somebody else yeah because if people will say well hey I would just eat out well that's fine if you do a lot of other things great you don't have the time to do that you know I mean since COVID I've had more time I've had a lot of time to be able to prepare things and so it's attracted because my kids come over because they want to eat the food and so but some people don't and if you don't know what good cooking is you'll you'll probably never get it So if you don't have a standard of what is good,

then you'll probably never get it. Because I think we just have a little different standard of what good food is versus like, you know. I mean, I've been to the whole states where it's like, I haven't found one thing that's good in the whole state. Like nobody cooks good. So the standard's so low, they don't even know. And then someone comes to like New Orleans and Louisiana,

they're like, oh my gosh, this food's amazing. I'm like, yeah, it's a different standard. Oh, that's, hey, that's, that's, that's, so Brittany's not cooking. I mean, she does, she does cook a little. Are you guys eating out all the time? No, no, we cook at the house probably five nights a week minimum. Yeah, I mean, I cook a lot.

But I fish a lot, a hunt a lot. I eat all of that. So, I mean, we've got a freezer that's full, and we eat deer, we eat fish, we eat turkey, whatever. And look, don't get lost. I love a chicken. And that pit boss makes a chicken really easy to make really good. And I'm in the same.

boat y'all are in well well when did you start you didn't used to cook out no no no no when we and Anna got married and I figured out if I want to eat good I better you're going to have to cook yeah but I love it I love cooking is it's one of my passions Anna Anna does not like the cook and she made that very clear yeah and you're very good at it well thank you got a few things she cooks a few things she brings out corn casserole yeah she has a corn casserole Yeah, and dessert. Yeah, and dessert. Yeah.

But going back to your point, she does a lot of things that make up and then some for not cooking. And I don't mind at all. Well, you got a slew of kids, so that's the deal. We have six kids. Yeah. Well, crap. I'd rather, I'll cook. Yeah.

You go mess with all the stuff that I do with these kids. Not that I didn't do anything with the kids, but, I mean, like, somebody's got to be doing, you know, somebody's got bottles. I mean, I'm watching these babies right now. I mean, that's a lot of time. So it is, it's a little bit. I mean, everybody's not Ms. Kay, you know, or you're doing it growing up where she's cooking everything.

But now they, she and Phil, and Phil probably cooks more than Kay now. Let's be honest. Oh, yeah. I mean, Bill's cooking more than Kay. Yeah. It's amazing what she did over the years. Yeah.

Feeding all those people. But the key to this, though, to me is, hey, you do, you and your spouse, you do what works for you. Yeah. Okay. To heck with everybody. Yeah, there's no norm here, okay, for a marriage. That's right.

If it works for you and your lady or you and your husband, that's what you do. In your case, your wife gets one side of the house and you get the other side of the house. And it works. And it works. I would say to Caleb on this and I'll leave it at this, if you want to get her into cooking, like we're in 2021, there are places that offer cooking classes now. Go take one together. Go do that on a date night if you want to do something.

If you want to encourage her to cook training, I'll agree. Get that word out of your vocabulary. Because that doesn't work for anything other than hunting dogs. Don't get no training involved in this. You're fixing to run into problems if you start talking about I'm training my woman. Yeah, that training is going to lead to counseling, whether it be marital or legal counsel. Yeah. One way in a cooking class or you'll be in a counseling.

counseling session. Yeah. Figure it out. I've been in both. Couldn't glass way funner. Yeah. That's where I'll leave it at that. But we, uh, you got a good

verse first, Willie, from the Bible. Oh. Where do we? I know you can. Just right off the top of my brain. What did I do last time? I think I did the whole chapter of 1st Corinthians 15. So I will jump to, uh, Galatians 5.

probably 20, maybe 20-ish. But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things, there is no law. There you go. Fruit to the spirit, pouring out of us, something else living in you. And they're timeless. That will pour out of you. And if you're not sure if those are coming out of you, there's another list above there of

the acts of the simple nature. And so see where you're at. I thought it was really cool that that was what Johnny prayed over Bella and Jacob. That was at the beginning, I guess. But prayed the fruits of the spirit over their marriage because it's like we're talking about in the training deal. Training is not a fruit of the spirit in this regard, my friend. So, you know, when you pray that over your marriage, you do that in your marriage and you don't have to worry about any of the rest of it. That's the truth.

Look, that's it. Boss, we appreciate you coming in, filling in for your assistant. come back anytime and look we'll see y'all next time right here on the duck call room we're out