Duck Call Room - Willie Robertson Has Been Embarrassed for 12 Years

Episode Date: April 8, 2021

Si and Willie Robertson in the same room? What could go wrong?! Willie confronts Si about the embarrassing moment that's been on his mind for 12 years. Willie also creates a NEW embarrassing moment when he reveals why John-David actually NEEDS a bidet. Martin describes how Willie hazed him the first time they got on a plane together. Willie offers the inside scoop on his new Facebook Watch show, "At Home with the Robertsons." And after sharing his desperate late-night trip to Walmart, Willie closes with a Bible verse that makes him nearly die laughing.    - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the duck call room. Look if you're new to the channel, check us out. YouTube.com slash duck call room. Be sure to hit that subscribe button. In a couple of weeks, we're going to be doing something pretty cool on there, something that only subscribers will have a chance to get. So if you're listening on YouTube, make sure you like, subscribe, follow YouTube.com slash duck call room. And if you're on the podcast apps of any and all sorts, leave us a kind rating and review. So that's all the housekeeping for this week. We have another guest. Actually, he's not another guest.

He's the same guest. He's a recurring guest now. The boss is back. For the first time ever, we have two Robertsons in this room at one time. So if today you don't hear from me and Johnny D. a whole lot, you're welcome. Boss, welcome.

Godwin told me I didn't have to talk much. I'm taking his chair. I'm just going to do what he does and just sit here. You got to make weird noises Actually he's really good at sitting here Not working So y'all got him in his bang zone Really is coming hot

Well y'all keep calling me a guest I'm pretty sure I own this building So how am I a guest at my own place No you're just a bad penny You keep showing up Well speaking of bad pennies Oh no huh I'm a silver dollar son

Oh my gosh You look like a penny that's been laid down on a railway. Well, hey, here's the deal. Did you go to Easter Sunday and celebrate Jesus' resurrection? Did I go? Yeah. I didn't realize you had to go somewhere to celebrate. I started celebrate before I went anywhere. Well, hey. Hey, what's your day? I celebrate. I celebrated every day. I do too. When you get my age, it'll be more important to you. Yes, I saw you at a building. I walked beside you and say, oh, hey. Hey. Happy Easter.

Yeah, and it was good to see the church fill a useless building. There you go. Man, we are coming in hot today, boys. Coming in hot. Well, I had to bring in resurrection, boys. Because, hey, like I said, hey, like I said, when you get my age, it's looms. It's getting close. Yeah, it looms larger in your mind.

Well, it's looming large on me as well. Well, I mean, it wasn't but a couple of months ago that they had, they had, they had, You basically in that hole getting ready to roll out rock over in front of you anyway. Yeah, see, I had one foot in the grave. It was what everybody was telling me. Well, technically, Si, and I don't mean to go Phil Robertson on you, but if you're talking about did I celebrate at a building with other people, I did one, two, three, four, five?

Five different celebratory things. I'll start on Friday for me, Jack. Oh, good Friday. Oh, yeah, good Friday. I did a whole three days. Which one was your favorite? One, two, three, four, five. They were all good.

Awesome. There was just all. There was some lobby action and number. It was a building. Baptized two guys. Yeah. That happened. That's actually when I stepped out, came back in, and one of our people had studied with

them. So a guy and his son got baptized yesterday morning. But I don't mean to go Phil Robertson on you, so. Well, I was wondering where you disappeared to. I saw you when you left. I had to go in. I was worried about you. I had to go get somebody else in on the resurrection.

Well, there you go. Hey. Well, hey, good for you there, buddy. I think I won that. No, I'll give you that, okay? If you're talking about baptized people, yeah, okay. That's a win-win for everybody. That's a win-win-win, especially for them.

My goodness. See, I missed Easter lunch. the whole eggs, all that. I missed all that. You missed lunch. I did. You guys repent Sunday. I did.

Don't worry. I've gotten enough lunches in my day. I know. You don't have to help me. This is such a different deal because now sighs is the one sitting here giggling, which is what we're usually doing. So thanks. I mean, this is all right.

No, no. This was actually good, okay, because I was going to get into. to it, we started this thing off talking about relationships. Yeah, our first podcast. Oh, okay, yeah. I didn't know how far back we were going. No, no, well, and I just was fixing to tell the guys, I said, hey, you need to look at what the relationships. What are we really talking about here?

We're talking about good versus evil, boys. And that's what we're talking about right now. Guarantee. What kind of relationship do you have with your nephew here? I'm interested. If we're talking about relationships, Let's go there. No, no.

Me and him, we have a good relationship, okay? During the show, okay, we've done some good stuff together. Okay. Correct. No, no, I'm serious. I'm serious. I mean, I got to say my favorite interaction between YouTube

when you were handcuffed to him. Oh, man. That was good stuff. No, no, that was one of my favorite episodes, and then the other one that I liked probably better than That one was the Mountain Man radio show. I'm walking behind him when we go in there. And I look and there's the receptionist up there,

and there's one of them little bells on the deal. And I made my mind up right when I was saying it. I'm fixed to drive. Willie and Mountain Man slam insane ringing that bell. He tried. Oh, no. I did it. He tried. And then, hey, then what the good part was,

about a week after that episode ran on TV, someone, a fan, had built me a, his bongo bells, Bongo bells, okay, and then I drove my wife insane and she threw it in the trash can. And I'm still mad at it because of that, because I was getting good. So I don't think that was the tipping point of driving your wife and saying, I think it's probably the 40 years she's been with you. 50, 50. It's coming up to 50. Boy. Well, you started that about at 40.

I'm going to say it was probably 10 years ago. We did that. Oh, my goodness. But one of my favorite, I think the hardest I ever laughed was when we were, what was the one we were in Nashville and Sa has the giddy up on the cowboy hat and he started, the song was his poker game the other night. He's just singing about the game. Well, I got pocket jacks.

Got next to me. I laugh so hard on that, that day. I'll never forget that day. Oh, man. There were some good times in that. I mean, I remember when we watched, what, the premiere of the one, and we were to part of size film, and remember, we were all together,

and when it cut to him, and he said, have you kids ever heard of NOM? Oh, yeah. I mean, we all just hit. Overall, that's my, yeah, one of my favorite episodes was that one. No, no, the funniest thing about that was, Jay said, I can't believe you talk like that in front of them kids. I said, Jayce, the kid wasn't there when I was doing that.

And he said, what? I said I was in front of a green screen by myself. No, you weren't in front of a green screen. The kids was not there. They brought the kids in later when I was crying. That is not. That is not a lie. We're in the 5% zone.

The virus is playing tricks with the memories now. Season one, we couldn't even afford green screens in season one. You were at the school. You were at the school. I know it. And hey, the kid wasn't in there. I was giving all that stuff. He's lost this.

Oh, he's getting foggy. He's got that COVID brain. I mean, he's got that COVID brain. That COVID didn't war away. What was left? Oh, which wasn't much. Oh, boy. He's got that COVID brain.

Don't listen to these idiots. I know where we've been. I don't know where we're going, but we are going to take a break. We'll be back right after this. Don't go away. All right, look, springtime is here. It's warming up. You know what that means?

That means more outside cooking. And y'all know we love to eat beef around here. And that's what because of our friends over at Triedells beef makes such a good product, baby. Ain't it good? It's so good. Our friend, Sao Robertson would say, buy on the grill!

Look, before we got Triedels, getting ready for a cookout, man, somebody had to run the grocery store, do all the things, grab whatever was left in case you were late in the day. And you never really know where that beef comes from. But with Triedells beef, we skip the grocery store and do it a different way. Tritails comes from a family ranch out in Texas. They're a fifth generation American ranch, so they've been at it for a while. Now, look, the beef comes straight from their ranch and other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way.

Their steaks are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door. We threw a couple of ribbys on the grill. Look, salt, pepper, garlic, hot fire, that's all you need. Look, because I'll tell you what, when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living, you can taste the difference. The tenderness and the flavor are fantastic. So if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season, go check out Tritails Beef.

I know in size case Christine loves it, which is just a she doesn't eat meat. She ain't a big meat easier, folks. Yeah. Just go to trybeef.com slash. That's trybeef.com slash support ranch families and eat some dang good steak. Where were we?

I don't even. Welcome back. We just debunked. We just showed Cy that he was actually not in front of a green screen. In the break, episode Frog in 1. So I was just in a library yelling at kids about nom and tigers. Yeah. Bingo Tiger ripped his arm off.

Now, hey, I got something to say. Okay. Well, knock yourself out. I heard you we're talking about badees. Uh-oh. Hey, don't jump the gun here. We got something special playing. Easy, easy, easy.

Easy, rich boy. Uh-oh. Easy rich boy. Silver booze. Easy master bedroom at 12. This is for normal people. I've heard a rumor that Johnny D. has a bootleg bidet. It's not bootleg.

An attachment. Well, he couldn't afford the real bidet because he's got that Rolex on his wrist. A bidet is a bidet, but you've got one that you've attached like some kind of little small water hose you've connected to your commode. A commode was a what exactly? Garden hose. It's not a garden hose. It's a bidet. A bidet attached.

I mean, I've seen a bidet, but I'm... It's not separate and apart anymore. They fixed it. Have you seen cars, too? The cartoon? Well, they've had one in there. A lot of our fans have only seen it up today. So you got something off a cartoon and put it in your bathroom?

I'm just saying that the four and... So you're using this? Yeah, I'm using it. Very clean. It ain't a garden hose. That is a question. You know the one of their advertising where they have the 18 wheeler run over it? That's the kind of it.

You turn it on and it goes out. I don't know what it. He's talking about that flex hose. I've got to go to check out this bidet. So look, but I'm remodeling my bathroom, and I found one that has a bidet built in and a blow dryer. What do he, I mean. Is that not the coolest thing? Anybody's ever heard?

You are spending way too much time. Although I will say this. I will say, I've hung out with this guy a lot. Oh, here we go. That region of his body is the worst. smelling, foul, the whole area, geographically, everything down there. So I made him one time, we were traveling together. He smelled so bad.

I don't know what happened. He goes in there and sprays like industrial liceol from like a battery. I apologize for this. I mean, I was going to vomit. This is a good story. So if a bidet, whatever. I did not have a bidet at the time, but something happened. Bro, you didn't have a bar of soap at the time.

I ate something wrong. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, wasn't it, no, we're not to my gas. No, just, no, it was just a funk of your body. No, I remember it. It was just, it was awful. Radiating out of you. Martin, have you never heard this story? We go to the Texas Rangers game and like midway on the, the plane's a thousand degrees,

and I'm just pouring sweat. No excuses for, I was sitting there too, and I wasn't just reeking and blowing out the whole plane. I'm just trying to tell the same. story. Well, the story ended and I was like, you're either going to get off the plane and hitch a ride, you should have just jumped on the old Greyhound bus and just bust it back from Dallas.

Man, this guy. Anyway. So, but I'm not a believer in bidet. Are you a bidet guy? Who, me? Yeah. No, I'm not a... So are you a bidet, man?

No, I didn't even want... So the only guy here. I didn't know what it was. Right. But our fans, our fans are bidet people. Well, maybe they're... grew up rich like you did and they tried to figure out whatever it is. Here's why I don't like bidet's.

I'd love to hear this. Kind of like washing dishes. All right? I like, like if I'm washing a plate. Yeah. I like to see the evidence. See, you don't know how to use it. There's evidence.

There's evidence. And then when I get through washing that plate with a dish rag, it's as clean as it can be. See, and you, like some of our fans, they don't know. So what you do, you take a dirty plate, just a nasty, dirty plate. And just shove it in the dishwasher. And you're like, good enough. Nope. And then you put it back in the pantry.

No. See? But what's the first thing you do with the dirty plate? You shove it under the water. And then you wash it off. All of it. Yeah. Technically, the first thing I do is take a paper towel to my dirty plate,

dump that in the garbage, and then I go to that. There you go. There you go. That's why I don't like bideties. It's not toilet paper less. Don't mix. Don't mix dishes and plates with bidets. Don't go there.

It's just a visual for everybody. That's funky if John David is. He needs a little mini power washer. You need a little, you actually need like a bathroom attendant in your bathroom with a little power washer. Like a guy? Yeah, just spray you down. With mints? Yeah, I mean, just spray you down.

Boy, it's funky. Hey, it sounds like y'all need to buy y'all a sandblester. For what? For you're behind. The whole region. We've gone down a path. Well, I just wanted to say that. If you're ever with Willie, it only takes two or three times and it's hung on you.

You may need to work in some more showers or something. I don't know what the problem is. I'll wear the Texas Ranger game. Something happened that day. Yeah, it was, yeah. was a problem. I agree. It's like me and him went on like a two-week streak when we were, when I first started here, deer hunting. We were coming back home for your grandma's funeral. We drove like all night or whatever when I about killed you and all that stuff. But we'll bypass

the part where I almost killed him. I don't even remember driving through the town of San Antonio. No, I was not been drinking. I was just sleepy. I mean, we left at 1 a.m. Is that when I stopped at Bunkies? Yeah, woke me up. Yeah. He was tired. I dropped like $1,500 at Bucky's gas station. First time. And they dropped the big fire pit in the back of the truck, Martin jumps up. Scared me to death.

I had no idea. I was in that rim sleep. So I was in a, you know, your eyes shaking. They dropped that fire pit in there. And I thought, I was like, that's all of it. Something, we're dead. I woke up and he's smiling with, like, bags of beef jerky and candy. Nothing like a Buckees.

The first Bucketys, that was like the first time we had. been. I was that guy, Buckees, man. I'm spending some cash at Buckees. I think everybody remembers the first time they went to Buckees. It's like Disney World. Don't let this boy fool you. On that trip coming home, he propped his feet

up on the dash, and it was Oh, yeah. He'd been stuck in the same pair of socks, because he only brought one for about a week and a half. And when he put them feed on that dash with no boots on, I said, what what happened? Yeah, foul. Like, what, what, what just

happened? William Biday for his feet. We had the windows down on interstate going about 80, and it was 25 degrees outside. But you couldn't go up. He had done unsheathed them socks. And buddy, there was no getting away from. It was funky.

That was a bad deal there. It was funky. Oh, man. I don't know why I didn't buy socks at Buckees. I don't either. They got them. Yeah, of course, they got everything. But the sock, you didn't unsheat them socks until after we had left Bucky's.

so it was too late at that point. Hey, when I got home, I peeled them things off. I bet they were. I bet you took them off and they were like firm. Like, just still look like they were on your foot. Man, those things were bad. I would get it if John David did it if there were hunting seasons. Yeah.

You know, and you're off. That's totally excusable. Two weeks cold. You're not just reeking like the reek stays within your clothing, but. The reek stays. Oh, this was just a random day in May, huh? Summer, yeah. June.

Nasty, yeah. It's a bad deal. It's a bad deal. There was another person with. who threatened to hurt me is how bad it smelled and that man's name was Marcus Littrell and I 100% know I'm losing a fight to him quickly yeah when Marcus Lattrell tells you you stink about him yeah I'm sure Marcus has smelled some funk you know I'm out know if you'll watch that movie about him but like you need to give up the bidet that was pre-bade hey we fix these issues

beside your toilet needs to be some dishwashing liquid a couple of rye and one of them scrubbers. And a series of mirrors so that you can confirm it is exactly clean. That's just weird. I mean, you got to look somehow. What if you miss a spot? I just, I don't think.

Now, I would say that I'm probably saying that's now. Well, added it if we need to. I don't want to be the headline on this thing. But I would say I'm probably at 80% of the time when that happens to me when I go. I just take a shower. Wait, what? Yeah. Oh, from there to that.

Yeah, I just. If you have to, if you go to the bathroom, you're like, all right, shower time? Shower towel. That's pretty much a bidet. I just get the whole, well, that's what I'm saying. That's what you need. You need to go to car wash, Jack. I would have to.

That's where you need to be. I would have to shower down at the car wash, baby. As a guy who's worked very closely with him now for the past four or five years, specifically, if he did that. He would only work two hours a day. The boy has got a very active, lower bowel. Oh, very active, very regular. Very regular.

I accept my watchman. Well, I know he urinates like that. The only person that urinates more is that I can remember is like Corey when she was pregnant. Or sigh. Oh, sigh, yeah. Pian side needs a catheter. That's got a reason why. I'm saying when I was in my late 20s, I wasn't like, you know, going to the bathroom every 12 minutes.

I drink a lot of water. It's only. Johnny D's first stop in the morning when he gets here is like, hey man, what's up? Next thing you hear the toilet flush at the end of the hall. That's step one. Well, his bowels are just, he's a human garbage disposal. He eats everything, just goes around. It's like one of those Roomba is just going around, just eating food everywhere, just beef jerr, whatever it is.

A Roomba. He just called you a Roomba. By the way, if anybody's feeling bad for me, this is a been eight years of constant. Oh my goodness. Welcome to the goat episode. Ah, the goat. Oh, man.

Okay, well, yeah, we're at that time. Let's take a dozen. You just called him a room, but let's take a break. I got to recover for that for a second. I mean, we do have something to talk to you about, really. I mean, I'm curious. And all week via the social media, I saw your smiling face everywhere. What's new for the boss?

I mean, we all know what's new, but the people at home don't know. So tell them what's new. Our new TV show? Yeah. Well, I don't know. Is it a TV show? If it's on Facebook, watch. It's a streaming show.

I don't understand technology. You got a new show out. We have a new show called At Home with the Robertsons. It is a moving talk show. A moving talk. We talk, but we move. It's mobile. It's mobile.

So we do fun stuff. We had guests come in and we, yeah, we tackle some hot topics. It's not like this show. It ain't, yeah. On this show, we stay away from the heat. On At Homewether Robertson, y'all went straight into the fire with a lot of them. So the show's out. Well, the show came out and Johnny Dee, how the comments on the show. I'm reading them right now.

they're solid they're solid I thought they were negative who said they were negative somebody told me they were negative well I had learned how to block out this person I sleep with tell me that some of them were negative

oh well there's always going to be some negative people yeah you should read our comments well I'm sure what do you mean by solid I mean I mean people have said we live in this world together I love that we have to find common ground

that was the lady named Kimberly thank you Janet said thank you for bringing some sunshine into our lives and discussing real life blessings on this show. Thank you. Don says so happy you guys are back. So yeah, there's a bunch of Shantel said she missed you guys. Shantel's my friend. She just missed me in life.

Shantale, yeah. So yeah, the show's out and yeah, it was fun. It was a lot of fun. We had guests come in. Then we got and do something kind of fun, Louisiana. Well, not everything's Louisiana. On the first one, you built a duck call with some people from love and hip-hop in Atlanta. Yeah.

And hey, look, I'm reading it. Andy and Mendices, yeah. I just read some negative comments. They didn't watch. Oh, they didn't watch it. That's what it looks like that. They just generally don't like me. Oh, look.

They're talking about this, and they just moved like. I was on a couple of them. I had a blast shooting a couple of them that I did. So I was on a couple of them. Yeah. Yeah, I enjoyed it. Yeah. Because it was after the first.

food on the table is a neutral zone so to speak okay and then we discuss stuff while eating a fine meal yeah i like that food on a table is a neutral one i don't that's a good episode the one size or one of the ones when because we talked about kneeling for the national anthem or standing the flag yeah we took him boys crawler fishing yeah we took him boys crawfish and then we got the dinner table and i now we were were worried about sigh because sigh got heated

he wasn't no funsy sigh angry side you got to understand like they made his soup wrong at the deli he was that guy well see you know you got to understand okay

for those that served our nation and wore our nation's uniform and some of them died for it okay and for that flag because the people out there that may be just a song or a national anthem,

and that flag may just be a piece of cloth to you. It's more than that, okay, to people that serve and have gave limb, life, you know. So, yeah, it, uh, that's a hot topic with me. Well, okay, and I was a hot topic. And I told the guys that did it, okay, you need to find another venue for your protest. It's a good show.

You just need to watch the show and see out. But it was fun over that nine. watching it play out because it started on size size leaning back and our guest was leaning back and they're kind of going at each other but then as the night kept going they actually moved closer together they leaned in to each other and they kept talking the whole night and so yeah but we just had but that's what i miss a lot of times we have to talk through that i mean you guys are married you probably have had some of those where you start out leaning away and on the other side of the room and yeah I mean

that's never happened oh man not this week anyways yeah so that was the idea that's the idea behind the show and yeah it's fun and we'll see if people

I mean they're engaged I mean people are making comments and you know starting some more conversations but also doing some things you know I'm here's what I think

people are like we need to have a conversation until you say what they don't want to hear and then they don't want to have the conversation So it's like you've got to be open to hearing the other opinion, right? I mean, there's different ways. And that issue was one that we needed to get some clarity on because some of these things aren't terribly organized. They're just people are doing stuff and you don't really know what they're like, what was the point?

Where did it start? Who started? And so I learned that on especially that issue was that, you know, and there's different. There was difference. Even the guests we had, there was a little bit different opinions, you know, about what it was. Well, I like the way you said, okay, and actually put a little light on that. It's like putting a spotlight on it and say, okay, let's look at this. Okay, you've got your reason for doing it.

Okay, and I've got my reason telling you that you should not do it at this point in time. All right, this, you know, during the anthem. And just like everything in life, though, generally, if you look on both sides, there's somewhere in the middle of where both of you are at that everybody can generally get behind. You know, there's somewhere right there in the middle. And that was kind of the cool thing for me being a part of that episode. I got to listen to these guys off script, like not reading what they've been coached to read, not just telling me about their life.

This was from the heart. Yeah, I mean, and I can appreciate that out of anybody. one thing I tell everybody that works here, look, never be afraid to have open and honest dialogue with people. Like, just, if you got a problem with the way I'm doing something, come talk to me. I'm cool with it because let me assure you,

if I got a problem of way you're doing it, I'm going to come talk to you. I thought it was actually good on our episode that I was involved in because we just said, okay, you know, we're going to have to agree, okay? You know, I said, hey, I see the injustice you're talking about. and I will stand beside you to fight that injustice?

I said, you just need to pick another spot to do it. Yeah. That's the beautiful thing about America and about life. We all have that opinion, and there's a middle ground we can get to. Let's take another break real quick. We'll be right back on a little bit deeper episode of the Duck Caller. Yeah, you would think making fun of people would get old, but it rarely does, Especially when you're friends, because we all know we love each other around here.

That's a good time. Well, you're... You've got to be able to laugh at yourself, sir. Yeah. And sometimes laugh at other people. It goes both ways. I like both. Guaranteed.

It goes both ways, boys. You've got to laugh at other people. With all due respect. Yeah. With all due respect. Of course. How do you feel about the phrase with all due respect? I'm just curious.

Does that excuse you for what comes next? To me, that means nothing. Oh, thank you. All it is is an alert to get ready. Signed, Martin Clay. No, no. It's an alert to get ready because somebody expects to get on you. You can say whatever you want as long as you start it with.

Get ready. It's coming. Yeah. Yeah, that doesn't mean anything. With all due respect. And then you're going to say something disrespectful? Yes. Well, no, because I gave you all that you were due prior.

which is not much well I mean I got somebody on my side people I'm excited you're at you yeah I was like that doesn't mean anything they're like no it's if I say with all due respect that's your chance to stop listen yeah that's your chance to stop me in my tracks like no just don't say it it's fine like we're good no big deal no big deal but yeah I was just curious where you stood on it there's different strokes for different folks hey y'all agree on it's a warning yeah it's a morning. It's the rattle. It's the rattler of the rattlesnake.

See, he's going, with all due respect, I'm fixing a bite. You better get out to my. Yeah. Hey. Hey. Hey.

Oh, that's funny. So I said he used it in the military all the time. That's where it started. Oh, no, no, no. Here's the deal. You have to do. Like, you got to, that. Them boys don't play with that.

Well, here's what you got to do. Okay. Don't ask me the question. If you're not ready. ready to accept the answer. Oh, I know that. Unless you say with all due respect, then you can give them the answer.

Well, no, no. I just always told them, hey, look, don't ask me that. You don't want me to answer that. You don't want the answer, okay, you're going to get. What if they say, well, answer it anyway? Well, then they get hit. And you got rode up. And I got through out.

I got through out of his office. Even if you said with all due respect. It didn't make it different. He didn't make it. Well, he just proved it. No, no, no. Hey, I'm talking about to them. It didn't make any difference.

It made a difference to say he felt better about it. Yeah, so I could sleep at night then. And in the day. Oh, no, no, no. Hey, I had to do one thing in the military. Nap every day. No, no. Well, I'd done that too.

But anyway. No, I had to do one thing. No, no. When I got up and got ready, you know, brush my teeth, everything, looking in the mirror, I had to like what I saw. And that was hard. Okay. And hey, that was hard.

Okay. And I didn't put up with no BS. Yeah. That's just a deal. If I woke up and looked and saw what you see in the mirror, I'd be angry too, man. Hey. I'd be like, what happened? Hey, look, you ain't old primrose yourself there, buddy.

Okay. Have you looked in the mirror lately? I like what I see. And size flat top days, he was good looking. Look. A muddy rut is a muddy rut. buddy. Oh, I could appreciate that.

And a muddy butt is a muddy butt. And there you go. Cray man, brother. Break the fire washer up. Johnny D. He's going to sanitize the day. Hey, Irish spring works wonders. Oh, man.

Irish spring. It's a soap. John David, they didn't even know what that is. Do they still make Irish spring? I just ain't seen those commercials in a while. That's why. Irish Spring used to have some pretty good commercials back in the day.

I'm an exclusive. spring guy. Are you? Yeah. That's awesome. Oh, it's got a good aroma. Oh, we back on that her aroma. Unlike the funk that some people walk around spreading.

Oh, Grandmaster Funk over there. And we ain't talking band here either, boys. He must be used. I bet you're a body wash guy, right? I'm a bar soap guy. You're a bar man? I bet that bar soap looks like a sheet of Velcro when you get done with it, don't? all that hair you got i don't have a lot of hair below my neck oh oh i don't have a lot of hair on top of

my head on the next step us then he's probably a rope a soap on the rope guy soap on a rope he don't want to drop it is that what you say and say hey i didn't say that i don't know what's happening anymore we've derailed i don't either it happens this train has gone over the Clilt, boys. But I mean, I got, is there something wrong, body washing a lufo? Is that a problem? Oh, I was just curious.

I mean, I'm just trying to figure out the pump. Oh, I got you. Trying to help him stay clean. By the way, everybody, all the stories shared today are like five-year-old stories. Well, yeah. Well, that's what makes them good. I mean, I still don't think you're the cleanest man I've ever met. I'm not trying to be the cleanest man.

You're the, you're actually the, I've said this to your face. You're the sloppiest guy, though. Sloppiest assistant in the world. Oh, he's just a slob. Just a slob. Food. Have you ever eaten with him? All the time.

I mean, just it stays. Before COVID, yeah, we ate lunch pretty much every day together. Did they have, how long have you worked for this man? Eight years in March as his assistant. The only positive thing about the mask was that it would cover up John David's food in his face. I did like that part of the mask wearing. I don't even know what this means. I've told him before.

Just slow down. Like, you know, it's not a contest. Now, he is the first done. And I consider myself a pretty rapid eater, but he's the first one done to the meal. Hey, I've done told y'all. The boy was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, but hey, they didn't ever put nothing in it. That's why he eats so fast. The boy has literally been starved to death as a child.

No, he ain't starving. He's good on that. Well, hey, that's the hump. I think not. Got him on that flank meat. I'll be over here for the duration of this episode. That boy is like a Pillsbury doughboy. Here we go.

And here I was thinking I was the one that's going to be dodging stuff the whole time. Anybody else? Sit next to this guy is always dangerous. I mean, the first time we flew together, you remember that one? No. You were on the exit row because, you know, big time.

I was on row seven right in front of you. I'm just a better plan. Well, I mean, I take the exit row so that in case of an emergency, I can help people. That's why I take it, not because of the extra leg room. Oh, my goodness. Exactly. But anyway, you started the trip with a 20-ounce bottle of water. By the time we landed in Atlanta, you had about three ounces left.

The rest of it was down my shirt. Because I was sitting right in front of every three minutes, he just pour another drop down my back. And he just started laughing. I mean, I'm like, what am I going to do? I'm on the smallest row on the plane as it is. I can't get back there to it. We all have different ways of training employees. Yeah, I know.

Yeah, speaking of that, well, I'll bring that up another day. When he's not here? No, I'll get him again. I just want to know why you didn't have to drive to Vegas. That's all I'm curious about. Everybody else, look at him. Look at him laughing. Look at him laughing.

See, you're still here. I am still here. You do trips like that. You end up longevity. He's mad that I didn't have to ever drive. Who else is still here? Jay Slummanet. Godwin?

Johnny Godwin. Yeah. That's about it. Hey, they put their time in. Yeah, they all drove that. But me and Jay Slummanet got the rawest end of that whole deal. Jay Slumny. This is for sure.

The guy thrown in the bench seat truck on the way in the parking. Maybe we ought to get Jordan on here one time just for. He's got stories galore and he's very lengthy at times. How many times have you fired him? A couple of times. Yeah, and he's still here. Yeah, I would fire him and then... He just kept coming away.

Yeah, he was so back up. I was like, I thought I just fired him. Perseverance, boys. Perseverance. He's got a lot of perseverance. Can I me address that? What's that? I need to educate, Cy.

I'm exciting. It is not peresverence. Well, then educate me. It's perseverance. Okay. endeavor to persevere that's right endeavor no you did a lesson you did a Bible speech one time like 12 years ago and you kept saying perseverance man has got a memory like a perseverance perseverance am I right mark I mean I'm not a no no you're highly educated

persevereur no you're right you're correct perseverance perseverance endeavor to perseverevere I like endeavor to persevere that's all you need to know I like sounds better endeavor I'm glad I got that off my chest because I've been embarrassed for you for 12 years. That's all you didn't know about. Willie. Well, hey, I didn't, I'm glad you got it off your chest so you can move on. Yeah, I can move on now. It's a 12-year-old Bible class from 2008.

And Willie's like, Willie goes to bed some nights like, Maryland's side just said perseverance. He said it like 800 times. That was his buzzer. Was it a good lesson? That was actually a very good lesson that I gave. It apparently was. Yeah, it was.

That was the identity crisis. He didn't need an altercog, I can just say that. I don't think they were going to be streaming down the aisles after that one. That's terrible. That's terrible. One thing around the Roberts of the crew, you got to have a thick skin, boys. Are you going to get toes stuck? Yeah.

You go end up in therapy somewhere if you go. Oh, yeah. close today. I'm going to get in the air beer and take a shower after this. I mean, I think about your wife and your children. I mean, I'm trying to help them, man. If I can be their voice, like, why does my daddy smell so bad? Because he doesn't know to clean himself, you know?

Because here's a thing. You've got three offspring that need, you're in charge of cleaning them and then teaching them how to clean their selves. All it takes is one bad link of the chain, man. There'd be a whole bunch of stinky Owens run around. Oh. All it takes, people, one time. Oh, my.

Lady, with friends like this, you don't need no enemy. You ain't even got to go online to get all the bad stuff. That's what's good is when you get roasted more in here than you do online. This episode, I'm sure I will. But he did just give them all new material. They had kind of run out on stuff they could make fun of you for him. But boy. Oh, I'll write a book on it.

It's a lot. Make sure you put his email address. And put Rumba in there. Make sure. That'd be the town of it. Rumba. Oh, shit. Oh, Lord.

Well, let's take our last break. We'll be right back with the fans segment right after this. All right. We back online. Let's take his train home. All right, y'all stay tuned next week, okay, because we're going to be speaking about how to be hygiene good. Hygiene good. We're going to talk about press appearance and hygiene good.

That's right, boys. In a shorter way of saying that, I apparently wants to do one on being hygienic. Hygienic. Hey, you know what I did last night? No, we did. We were fishing. No, we did. The whole family was fishing.

What was you fishing for? Food. Anything that would bite. Mass croppy. They're biting too, man. Of course they are. It's on fire. It's on fire.

It is on, yeah, on my pond. And so my kids are fishing. We're going to do a fish fry. So it's like eight, well, they bring the fish up there. I don't typically clean dead fish, but I'm like, how long were they dead? But I cleaned them. I think you're okay. Were they on ice?

No, they're in water. Just in a bucket? Yeah. Oh, they're solid. The water's not that hot. How long as you go? I made a couple hours. Okay, all right, we're good.

I wouldn't go crazy. I cleaned them. We got a giant bass. I'm sure that'll taste good. Going to taste just like mud. But I needed it because, you know, my kids were like, hey, here we go. I'm like, I only know one guy who, you know, turned that into enough for a big meal, but I don't think I can do that.

And so I went down to catch some more. And anyway, I didn't get enough sign. I'm having to clean all the fish. And, well, it's 8.45. And I'm like, look, this ain't going to happen. We got to wait. We need some more fish. And then they're starving to dad.

And they're like, oh, we got to eat something out. You know, if we're going to wait on the fish. So I was going to buy, I was like I make hamburgers, right? The unfortunate thing about Easter is that all the grocery stores closed on Easter, which is great for. Oh, you should have just texted your boy. I could have brought you fish. Well, crap. No, now we're eating fish tonight.

You needed ground. So you know where I ended up at 915 last night. in line at Sonic. No, I don't know. Hey, hopefully in your... It never gets that much for me. It don't...

No, I mean, I enjoyed fast, but I'm like, no. You enjoy it. No, I'm cooking. I'm gonna cook. Where do I have to go? I'm so intrigued. I don't know, sir. No, no.

I'm so intrigued. Tell me what happened. But where would you go buy groceries at 915 at night? Walmart? On Easter? I'm at the big Walmart. Oh, the big big one? Not the name.

24 hours of. Let me say, you want to keep it real? Going to Walmart at 10 o'clock at night, it's real. It's real in there, man. Do they have any Duck Dynasty merch? It is real in there. It's real in there, boys. So then I went home and cooked hamburgers.

Well, I cooked the hamburgers in 15 minutes, but I had to go get the materials. Yeah, I'm only eating fresh stuff. I ain't going to Sonic. Well, no, I was just saying maybe you went. Thawing out stuff, man. You start thawing stuff out at 9.30? I just thought you may go ask and say, hey, y'all got some hamburger patties. I didn't know who was open.

No, the fish. The fish fry is actually tonight. Oh, well, next time, just text me. I got fish. And I'm going to miss work to go fishing. So there's always the trade. Well, I thought we had an understanding, yeah. Yeah.

Oh, these are from sometime in 2020, but they're good. Oh, no, that's fine. I ate them yesterday. You need to stop fishing in a garhole. Go over at JD's Pond and catch all the crop of you want. And Big Days Pond? No, they ain't got crappy. Big Dave's does.

There's crappie in there? Yeah. And Big Dave's, yeah. Hey, well, call everybody. Hey, as a man who everybody comes over and fishes on, I don't go over to another man's pond. Now, you do. Well, you do need to take up a collection plate from your brother to repurchase all the crappie he took out of it. Hey, but I will say this, we caught three big crappie.

Yeah. So they're still in there. Only three left. So one, no, one road and I said he caught him, said he caught one and Bella caught. Yeah, Bella called one. We just restocked it. But there's some little. cropy in there too. Yeah, they're the little ones.

Good. Oh, y'all re-stock? But let me tell you, it's every time you put it in there, they are tearing it up right now. That's good. Well, good. I like to get with Jay Stone and well, look, you need to go get on that big old heifer that lives by the bear. I don't call her twice. The bear? The bear?

I don't go for the big, yeah, I'm not in. No, I just want to look at her, check on her, make sure she's doing all. I'm ripping her. I catch her once a year. That's it. I catch her once a year. Croppy or a bass? No, she's a bass. She's a bass. She's probably going to be about nine nine and a half this year well there was another right by the bridge

yeah that's a big can she was rolling a hunger and then she went in that jays got so much crap in their name he's put all these limbs all the brush she rolls up in the brush top yeah she gone and all my rigging's gone you got one back here by your father so i went this morning y'all appreciate this so i was going to worm fish and so i got the worms from yesterday

I went down and got all set up and there was a half a worm on the top I used it I caught three fish on the half a worm it was the only worm left I'm all set up. That was it. And I got no worm. No worm.

No worm. Well, who's going to, you, boss, you want to close this with the Bible verse? I do, man. Is it Colossians 4? Is it a good one? It is not Colossians 4.6. Is it a good one? Is that endeavor to persevere?

I was going to go. Well, then it may be a good one. This is the way we should live our lives. I actually died laughing when I read this Bible verse, and I thought that's pretty cool so um so the apostle paul he's writing to the church in corinth so we're in first corinthians one and he says is christ divided verse 13 was paul crucified for you that's a rhetorical question were you baptizing the name of paul another rhetorical question i thank god that i did not baptize any of you except chrispus and gaiaus say no one can so no one can so no one

can say that they were baptized in my name. And in parentheses, yes, I also baptized the household of Stephanus. Beyond that, I don't remember if I baptized anyone else. And I died laughing at the fact that Paul is trying to think of, did I baptize somebody else there? So we should live our lives to where you can't even remember who you baptized. Like you're forgetting good things you did. I think we all try to forget the bad things we did.

And when people remind us, we're like, oh, shoot, I did do that. But what about if we did so many good things that you're like, I can't even remember if I did that or not. And I love when people come up to me and tell me like, man, that day, you said this to me. Man, it really helped me out. And I really have forgotten that I even said that. I was like, what did I say? And so I think if we live our lives where we're doing that, we'll be like, Paul,

you'll be trying to think like, man, did I do that or not? But we know that it's good. I love my Bible verse. I'm preaching right there. It's actually good because I said that. That's why I said good versus evil. As far as it goes for me, every morning I get up and I say, I'm going to try to be good today with everybody I make.

Be good to them and do what's right. Yeah. And like you're talking about, then somebody comes up and says, hey man, you know, when you've done this, you know, back when? and you say, are you sure you're talking the right person? Did I do that?

Yeah. I ran into a buddy that I went to high school with and he doesn't even live here. He was here for the holidays a few months ago and he comes out and we walked outside and he said, yeah, man, I need to get back.

I need to get my life in order. And I said, yeah. And he goes, do you remember you baptized me in high school? I totally forgot. I mean, I still don't remember. No recollection. I have no memory of doing that.

But he didn't forget it, which was awesome. And so that was one I actually thought about it, like, I forgot even, you know. Actually, that's happened a lot. People have told me that and I totally forgot. That's awesome. Well, look, boss, it's good to have you back in the duct call room. It's good to be in the room, man. It's good to make sure you're not working up here.

Guarantee. We got a lot done today. That's good. Come back anytime. But for this week, we're out. We'll see y'all next week here on the duck call room. Be sure to wash your heinous.