Duck Call Room - Willie Robertson Totally Embarrassed Bella's Husband at Their Wedding

Episode Date: November 7, 2023

Uncle Si and Martin explain a famous southern saying that John-David has apparently misunderstood his entire life. Stone and Martin relive their merciless initiations into the Duckmen inner circle. John-David gets a chance to poke fun at Godwin's irrational fear of icy water and the boys lose it over the nickname Godwin tried to give himself. The boys realize that the Robertsons are kings of embarrassing nicknames and explain what “home field advantage” means when it comes to unexpected bowel movements. - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I'm sure Johnny D will make a grand entrance here in a minute. But, Stone, you on the mend? Oh, yeah. That's good. That old, that old idis got me. Ius. Some kind of idis. Nowadays, you don't want to go find out what kind of idas it is.

Yeah. Oh, I know. We've been sick for over a month. It was one of them idices, man. I was down for about a week. Yeah. Yep. I'm back now, though.

So it's in the wind, boys. If you go out in the woods and it's in the air, then you're going to get it. You're going to get it. That's why you just stay at home and sleep. Well, no. That's why you still active. Hey, no. Copmanston was on a deer stand last night.

Was you? Oh, yeah. It was a very enjoyable hunt. We've seen about 30, maybe more, but 10 of them was bucks. Because the deer were the moms and the yearlings were acting weird. They're spooky. They're jumping around all the time and looking up. and I was wondering what was going on.

I said, well, maybe a bobcat, a coyote slipping in the woods. Or a panther. Yeah, or a panther even. You never know. What it was, it was 10 bucks coming from every direction. Ah. And, I mean, you thought it pretty.

Oh, yeah. Three-year-old eight point come out of town. I mean, he was a beautiful deer, you know. He was bright red. Really? Yeah. That wasn't red. I don't guess that was red.

Did you all, did we kill red? No. Okay. No, he's... Okay. No, he's still... Well, no, he's still... What?

I said, he come by here and got a check this morning. Well, hey, did I get one? Oh, no. Oh, you're talking about a deer. I thought you were talking about Jimmy Reed. Oh, he had a deer called Big Red. Oh, never mind. My baby.

Yeah. And he was a pretty deer. Okay. Well, he's still out there. Okay. He was big and he was red. There you go. Well, good.

How quick? Did you take a heater? No. He's a little frost on a pumpkin yesterday. Oh, no. Oh, no. When I woke up, you know, that morning, And it had false on my truck.

I didn't have near enough clothes. I can tell you that. Yeah, this morning it was cold. Yeah. Well, I got up to coming to the podcast yesterday. Yeah. I had to, you know, had to thaw my windshield off. It was 37.

It was, uh, and that was 8.30 when I was. 29 this morning. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You got them bill you're going to take to the, uh, 80s? No, it's the low is 60 over there. Oh, it ain't got cold yet?

No. Y'all about to leave and go. hunting in the desert. It's going to be high. It's going to be 85. I don't know. I don't know. We probably go over without them and just freeze their tail off.

It's going to be 85 in the evenings and 60 in the mornings. But we had an enjoyable hunt seen 10 bucks. We didn't turn into deer watchers. Oh, I enjoy it. I had to be fair. That's most of the time when I go deer hunting, I'm a deer watcher. I don't, I don't shoot many of them. Well, I'd tell people, look, if all it was was boom, I'd say never go again.

Yeah. If that's all it was to it. I said, because, hey, when you do this, boom, then the work starts. I guarantee you. That's what I always. And with me, it used to be the work would start. Now, he's there. Okay, so no, he takes care of all the work.

That's what I'm thinking. When a sheeter buck comes out right at dark, I'm thinking. Nope. I ain't doing it. I ain't doing it. No, no. Because, hey, look, he's got the green light. If I don't get it, I don't shoot.

Yeah. No. He's managing it. Okay. He's in charge of it. and said, hey, you say, you say, girl, or leave him alone. But them to come out at dark means you ain't getting home for another two, oh, no, maybe three hours.

Well, that's like his one. He could have killed an old one. He just said, hey, I don't feel like foolwood. Yeah. And that's taken into consideration that side makes a good shot. That's what I'm talking. That's why I said, make it, hold it, hold it. Hey, I mean, I told you, I was brain that devil that dope.

No, I give you, I give side. this. He's generally a really good shot. He don't cripple many deer. He'll shoot seven foot over his back. I would rather do that. He ain't much of a center

mass kind of guy. I would rather do that. That's that bunch on top of the hill. Well, he's after his surgery, he's having trouble seeing the crosshairs of a real fine reticle. No, no. No. He needs a

You need a heavy reticle? Yeah, a heavy reticle. That's worried I was looking for. Yeah, heavy. Heavy. Maybe even one that illuminate. I won't tell you, the best one I've ever had was a

redfield scope. It was six power. And it had, it had them, they come out wide. The wide field, the red field wide. Oh, no,

yeah, it had them wide and looked. The crosshairs were like a quarter of an inch. but it comes to the center and then it had the little bitty ones so you didn't even have to look at the little bitty ones I know what you're talking about you didn't even have to look at the little bitty ones

and look hey that was on my squirrel 22 okay going hey you know what I'm I shot them running that squirrels and hit them in the head but I just want to throw this at you I was actually in Academy the other day and the Redfield brand is back

okay so they're back building Redfield. You go look at Redfield Scopes. Well, hey, well, I'll have to go look now. Some kids stole that off of my 22 rifle. Good, no. Yeah. Welcome, Johnny D.

Was barely around there? Huh? No, no, this was, I was in the Army at Fort Bragg. Oh, I was going to. My next door neighbor's kids, okay, look. I was going to say we should have checked Tommy's estate sale. No. Oh, no.

That's the first thing I had done. I went to Tommy's house and said, okay, let me check. Yeah, where about going? Yeah, where's the guns at, buddy? That's fantastic. But, hey, that Redfield with the wide, you know, cross-airs. Yeah. And then the small ones in the center.

And, I mean, you know, when it comes together, I mean, so, yeah, you just throw it up with the big ones. Get it between them. Hey, kill it. And whack him. Cat squirrel running full speed. Hey, I kill 66 of them. Okay. Now, you got to think about it.

66 of them I shot and shot them running half up in the head in the head I hit three in the neck out of 66 I hit only three in the neck none behind the shoulder nope nope nothing past the neck nobody shot okay this was head or neck running you know that's why it became mad because you know if I hit them in the head ain't no use cooking it yeah I ain't no use for her to find bloody yeah she don't get to get her squirrel oh yeah yeah so she said, hey, next time shoot him in the body. Yeah, behind, 12, rink. Yeah, shoot him like you would have deer.

Yeah, put it behind the shoulder. Body, shoulder shots. I want that. I want that. You know what's funny, Martin? He's told that to so many people he actually believes it's true now. That's what Phil. Isn't that like all of them?

That's what Phil told Jason one time. Hey, that's your uncle. He said, did you actually been believing him all these years? Well, everybody says he's lying, but if he's. If you believe it to be true, you're not lying. If that's the truth as you know it, if you believe it. If you go with me, okay, and then you watch me when I shoot stuff and it all falls, okay? Well, it ain't, it ain't a lie.

Yeah, I don't disagree. I support your message. I know that you truly believe in black people. Oh, no, according to the Robertson, my brothers and nephews, I've never killed anything. Mm-mm. Okay. No. But hey, you know, they blow a bunch of smoke, too.

Okay. I ain't the only smoke blower in the Robertson family. Yeah, but you're the best. Jace can hold his own. I'll give you that. And you're the kindest one. Oh, yeah. Most entertaining for sure.

Amen to that. And hey, you know, truth be known. If I wasn't with them, when they're duck hunting, every time I'm not there, they don't say, okay, how many we get out of that bunch? No. The only five of them coming in, we didn't kill but one. Everybody shot five times.

They say things like getting long in the tooth. Yeah, I said, hey, yeah. The killer ain't there, boy. Killer ain't there. He ain't there. Nothing dies. That's right. Hey.

Well, he's sucking hind tits. We'd never eat, boy, we'd never have any meat to eat if I ain't there. Yeah. Oh, barely says high and tit better than no tit. Marginly. There you go. I mean, it is better. Right.

But it is the last one. It is. You know, everybody else doesn't got on it. What does that even mean for the people listening in Ireland right now? Sucking high and teeth? Yeah. Really? They don't know.

So you have a... Most people, I'm just, I'm getting ahead of the email. It means you get what the little boy is shot at. Right. Yeah, like on a dog or a pig or anything that nurses, there's an order hierarchy of the on a female dog. It's a pecking order. Yeah.

And so, you know, The higher up. Yeah, the biggest puppy is always going to get the best one. It's going to get the top of them because it's closest to the milk supply, so they get more milk. As you go down, they steadily decrease. So generally the runt is back there on the high and hit. Which is why.

It's done being hit two or three times before he got to. Yeah, because they sampled it on their way up. They don't just go to the first one. They start here and work their way up. That's it. It was like sign them in that bathtub. Oh, yeah. Whenever, you know, they were.

last bath so hey when I got it it was filthy water. Yeah the only reason for warm water in the bath when he got there was urine. That's right. That's it. That's a problem. That was a very aggressive last. It's like when you wear a black suit. Yeah. I wear a black suit and you pee on yourself. Nobody knows, but you get the warm feeling.

Wear black suit. Hey. Okay. Hey, that's a pro tip. Well, hey, there you go, boy. That's good. But no, that's what's second hind tip. That's what it means. I'm just laughing at people now. But that's the reason I always request.

the rite of the litter when I get a dog because he's a fighter. This whole time I thought it was high antit. And he ain't expected. No hind. Yeah, I just got it. My whole life I've been curious. I tried to blame it on the listeners. Are you the one that's on Chester's drawers or chest of drawers?

You don't even want to go there? But I thought it was high and tit and then I just found out it's hind tit. Okay. Yeah, way back here in the back. Learn something new every day. High end. Yeah. No, high end.

I thought that's what people would have been saying my whole life. Sucking a high end to you? Well, I'm sure there's somebody else. I don't know what it means either. I just said it. You just learned,

I learned something. I didn't know that you choose to run of the dogs because he is a fighter. Fighter, yeah. Because he's had to fight all his life. He's had to fight his whole life. Yep.

Yep. And I don't need to be carrying another man duck hunting with me. I want the smallest lab I can get my hands. Underdog. I always for the underdog. 50 pounds or less. Pocket dog.

That's what I like to call. But let's take it. a break now that Johnny Dee's here and joined us. We'll come back right after this. Bad time. All right, look, springtime is here. It's warming up. You know what that means.

That means more outside cooking. And y'all know, we love to eat beef around here. And that's what because of our friends over at Triedales beef makes such a good product, baby. Ain't it good? It's so good. Our friend, Sao Robertson would say, buy on the grill! Look, before we got Triedales, getting ready for a cookout, man, somebody had to run the

grocery store, do all the things, grab whatever. was left in case you were late in the day. And you never really know where that beef comes from, but with Tritails beef, we skip the grocery store and do it a different way. Tritels comes from a family ranch out in Texas. They're a fifth generation American ranch.

So they've been at it for a while. Now, look, the beef comes straight from their ranch and other ranchers they work with who raise cattle the same way. Their steaks are properly aged and shipped straight from the ranch to your door. We threw a couple of ribbys on the grill. Look, salt, pepper, garlic, hot fire. That's

all you need. Look, because I'll tell you what, when the beef comes from people who raise cattle for a living, you can taste the difference. The tenderness and the flavor are fantastic. So if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season, go check out Tritails Beef. I know in size case, Christine loves it, which is just a, she doesn't eat meat. She isn't a big meat easier, folks. Yeah. Just go to trybeef.com slash. That's trybeef.com slash support ranch families and eat some dang good steak. Yeah, Phil's coming here tomorrow, I think, to record for Sadies or something. So y'all listening, go check that out on that one drops. Yeah, that'll be good.

But, hey, the podcast team requested, can Phil come hang out in your office that way and get some, you got some stuff for him at that way? He doesn't feel like the trip to town's a wasted time. I was like, y'all don't understand. He going to make you think as a waste of time anyway. He ain't ever just going to say yes. Whether he enjoyed coming to do it or not. He going to get up and say, got what you need.

Yeah. He plays the same game. him and Jay's play that same game. They make it as miserable on you as you can stand it. So you won't ever ask them to do anything. You ask them to do something? It's all for sport. That's it.

It really is. I mean, I know on the inside when they're doing that, they're smirking. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, watch yes. Yeah, I'm about to fleece these suckers. They ain't going to ask me to do that again. So just out of spite, I ask them to do it again. It's always been a attempt.

and I just learned that. Yeah. Going with them. They all want to, well, they always test you. Yeah. Because they don't want to have any fun.

No. No. Make it as miserable you can. Why don't you bring a heater? Oh, no, we don't want to do that. Who's a man?

It's just like my first year here. They hatched the idea to move the decoys at midnight every night. Oh, no. Oh, yeah. Wait. I remember that. You don't think that wouldn't initiate?

Oh, yeah. Questions. Yeah. Why? So you didn't disturb the ducks. And I was better enough to do it. You don't. You don't want to get there.

I don't want to get there early in the morning to do it. You got to do it at midnight where if any is there flying around in the early morning, you want it already ready. So y'all would go down there at midnight, move to Coys. My first season here, I pretty much lived on Phil and Kay's couch or the lot, which every one I could get to first. Yeah, and not on that, if we saw a duck light over there and we did not have a blind. Yeah, chainsaw.

Okay, hey, chainsaws, cut the bus. Two by fours. Yeah, two befores. And, hey, go over tonight. And I want a blind there in the morning where eight people can sit in it. Now, what? Gobble walked off one night. Just walked off.

He got a text from Miss Paula that said, get home. Yeah, yeah. And Gobin, all you saw was his little headlight walking through the wood. Gone. Looked up, he gone. What year was this? 2010. Oh, when we saw?

Nine, 2010. Hey, when Phil sunk the boat and we were, we was breaking ice is how he sunk it. Guy went, okay, they all got wet, okay. Well, the next time, Guy was wading through the woods and told me, I'll see y'all tomorrow, maybe. Yeah, going home, boys. I'm going home. Well, he's got that ice phobia anyway.

Oh, well, yeah. Cold water and Godwin don't mix. That's why I got a hot tub. Yeah. But I'm serious. You know, I'm surprised that the people of. we hunt with the ones that have stayed. Yeah.

Yeah. Some of us found a better mouse trap. Going with them. Okay. First rule is, hey, don't come out here laughing and having fun. No, can't do that. Okay. And hey, look, you're used to.

Now we have a heater. Used to, though. Oh, no, don't bring a heater. Oh, well, wait a minute. It's below freezing tomorrow. Let's get a heater. No, we ain't taking a heater. Well, the only part is...

You'll be warm if you've got a heater. I want you miserable. Now since 2010, I know for a fact, Phil has had a heater since 2008. Oh, no. That's the same. But it was the only one allowed. They changed on that. Oh, yeah. Oh, they just changed on.

Hey, Burley. Grab that propane bottle. Yeah. Okay. Hey, I know. I know. I got to get some small ones. That was the 30-pound one.

I do have a question for you. As a man who used to unload the boat all the time, you old farts go sit down when you get there, which is fine. Yeah. Why are yours and Phil, Robertson's bag so heavy. Look, what do you take? No, no, I know what I feel is there. I go with a pocket full of shells and two

bottles of water. Hey, mine is very light. Except for, except for. Okay. You know, I spent 24 and a half years of military. This kid right here isn't going to run out of ammunition. So when I pick your bag up, it's that heavy, that's

all ammo? Hi, it's full box of the shotgun shells. Technically, he don't go now. Yeah, he don't go ducking anymore. Like, he's retired from ducking. That's not true. Okay, I have a man on the inside, okay, and when he alerts me, you want to come today? Yeah, you go when it's sunny.

Then I go. You go when it's sunny 75 and a strong south wind. That's it. A big comfortable blast. Yeah, that's all he's doing. Roger that. Leave the kid at home. I'm going to be in my bed on my pillow.

Ice hole. Oh. I'm going to be in my bed with my pillow and checking my eyelids. For penthouse. My man can kill six ducks. He takes 100 shells. Oh, 100. I will say, there was the one day, and it's in our swamp room in the tour,

where we shot two Mallard Drake's, and we proceeded to shoot two boxes of shells trying to kill them. Yeah, y'all didn't stop shooting. No, we all kept shooting to the point where we were just laughing. Like, because they hit the, we were hunting the wrong wind for the wrong blind, so we shot them in the butt, and they landed out there about 50, and they're just cruising, we ain't got a dog, and we just, boom, boom. And this is like seven people in the blind.

Yeah. Well, I know it's what, me, Stone, you, W.E., Phil, Goblin. They're six right there. You know, Jason was there somewhere. So this shit was just constantly just boom boom boom boom boom boom if the neighbors if the neighbors heard that they were trying to figure out what just happened what video was that on I don't know maybe I don't know probably 14 or 15 something I don't know but it was it was funny it was now we did burn through some shells then we's all using everybody's shells on that one that was a good one I mean it plays in that swamp room it's pretty funny to go back and watch but I'll never forget it butt shot two milder Drake's at about 40 because they snuck in there on us. And didn't kill them outright.

So, hey, they were swimming off. And, hey, I don't know what it is about a duck on the water. They're hard to kill. When they're swimming away from you, they are. They're hard to kill. If they're broadside, they're pretty easy. But they're swimming away from you. Them wasn't easy.

Because, hey, I can't tell. We probably shot a box of shells a piece at them. Yeah. We smash. Okay, seven men. Okay, and they shot 25 times a piece. I'd never forget it. We just all got tickled at each other.

Man, that was on that mail. Another one was the day we shot at Jacks. Oh, raining jacks. Yeah, the 300 jacks that come over and lit, and they lit about 60. And Phil started it off with the 10 gates. Yeah. Okay.

Boom. Yeah, that one never gets old. That's another one, W.E. got the laughing. Oh, no, no. I couldn't keep shells in my gun. gun. That's all you hear me saying, I can't keep a shell of my stupid gun. Note to self. When W.E. makes his December journey down here to visit his mama, we got to get him in here. Oh, I told it. He slipped out here without doing it last. Is that Jason? Yeah,

I'm trying to find the clip of y'all shooting. I gave him that hat, you know, way back at the First Army hat. Oh, yeah, the bomber hat. Yeah. And he wore it to slam out. Yeah, but he don't like you. No, he don't care on about it. Let's take a break. We'll be back right after this. It was a good time, boys. Amen. Hunter said we need to talk

about Gobbin's ice phobia, which is always way funnier when Goblin's not here. Yeah. Because Gobwin just gets his feelings hurt on the things he's done to avoid ice and says that a lot of them are made up. No, they're not made up. Now, some of them are embellished.

The one where Jay's now says he walked like eight miles around Barrett's place to not cross the now. What was the last time you saw Gallum walk eight miles? Well, he walked a long way because I'm sitting here thinking about when you were talking about it. Yeah, but I mean it's like... Were you there?

Yeah, it was in Kansas. Yeah, it's a 200 by 200 feet. I know, I know, I know, he didn't walk eight miles. The little ditch was like, what, five feet? Yeah, I mean, it was, it was deep on him, but I mean, it wasn't nothing like, it wasn't going to go over his weighters. Everybody else slid across the eyes, right? Yeah, yeah. And then, it was, it was deep on, it. me and Gowman broke through. And so when he broke through, he was like,

I ain't going to first. I ain't going there. And me, I just sat on my butt and got back on top of it. I was like, this isn't bad. He's like, yeah, but it hurts. And I'm like, okay. Whatever. They were on the blind, behind the blind coming in.

Yeah. From the bank, okay. So we hear crash, say, but y'all all right? Yeah. And it's all we busted to it's a little thing here. Yeah, I ain't no problem. Yeah. Well, Gowman is crawling back to the bank.

Yeah. he gone. He walked around the field to come up on the levee. He made the big loot. Yeah. But Jason will say now is like eight miles. It's like a 200 by 200. Yeah.

Half a mile. Yeah. Half a mile. Now, you know, Gobbans got a shorter stride than most. So he probably got a few extra steps in, especially being in wait. Well,

because I remember that day that no legs got, was wearing Phil's hip boots and how he got water full up. No. You know. And hey, look. Everybody called that guy a no leg. What was his name? I don't remember.

Did he have legs? He was short. He had legs. He had a long... He was one of them guys that had a long torso and tiny legs. Yeah, and short legs. I'm serious. He looked funny.

Okay, I can't help but say it. He looked funny. These boys, if you show up and have some sort of physical abnormality, that's your name. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Handicap. That's it. Okay.

Well, some people would look at having things. 30-inch legs and a 40-inch torso is a handicap. Is he the guy that ran the barbecue twin town? He had a long torso. Well, no, no, because he was known for two things. Okay. That's terrible. Was he?

You know what I'm talking. I know who you told me. That's terrible. How's that terrible? He had a long torso. He did. He did. I don't know.

He never knows that. He made great money. He did do that. But he had a long torso. Hey, normally, normally, how high is his hip boots? about 30 inches or something. Okay. All right.

His legs were shorter than 30 inches. Yeah. Okay. I wish I had a tape measure. You know, two foot is like this. Another foot, you know, this kid, you know, and he had a giant torso. Okay. No leg.

That's why they named him no legs. Oh, yeah. Oh, that feels the best nickname giver. But Martin's right. They'll pick whatever stands out the most. Whatever you don't like about it. out yourself. Whatever you don't like.

Whatever, whatever people have made fun of you for your whole life. Oh, yeah. He called Shelby Thick Legs. Yeah. Old thick legs. Big size. Yeah.

Nobody ever called it at. Yeah, he did too. Big time. He showed it, but she took it in stride. Well, he had to have thick skin to work around here.

That's right. Yeah. I'll never forget. It said, Hey, there, thick legs. You ain't going to tell me what to do. I mean,

he looked straight as Shelby at that day. I was sitting there. It was deadpan, okay? You ain't going to tell me. You ain't going to tell me what to do. I was like, but yeah, if something stands out like, you know, if you lost a finger, there's a old weight finger, you know, I mean, like, you know.

Oh, no. You got a, if you got a web foot or something, there, here comes old duck foot. You know, I mean, just whatever. Martin had a good one. Horse head. That bunch that showed up was going to clean our duck lines out with a red, Oh, yeah, the exterminator. Billy the exterminator.

One of them had, he was a snake wrangler. Well, his index finger was missing right here, and we said, what happened to that? No, that was Doug Dynasty. Well, yeah. That was old Mike from Doug Dynasty. And I said, what happened to that? And he said, oh, I was handling a rattlesnake, and he bit by my finger. You know, we had to cut it off.

And they said, yeah, remind me not to call you when, you know, you know, if I need a snake handler. Yeah. You don't know what you're doing. He was down to nine and a half. You remember when Galvin tried to give himself a nickname? A Wildcat? He wrote Wildcat on all of his grit. Yeah.

Oh, Wildcat. He's going to get in, uh. Change his nickname. He's going to change. Not all. This was his first. He didn't have one. Now, he'll tell you that Phil called him Wildcat.

So he's like, oh, I got, I got a nickname Wildcat on everything. Yep. So, uh, I don't know how it happened, but I think he'll, Phil said, I don't know if I can repeat that. Oh, you can. I mean, because it's a common name. He said, wild cat, remind me more of a pussy cat. He said, I'm more like a meow, not wow.

But then I think Phil rethought it in the next day, he kind of started calling him the walrus. Well, that's because the next day he had to get up in that elmhole line, and he just kind of rolled to get in it. It was a good idea you getting in here like a walrus. And then that one stuck, buddy. Yeah, that one stuck with him. Yeah.

Once Walrus come up across Phil's lips, that one's stuck. Oh, Walrus. Oh, man. So you got barely, so you think of some more nicknames. What's he called Skippy Covionion? Goosledon. Goosledon. I think Lyle will come up with that.

Yeah, but it hung on him. Oh, goosledon. Because he cleans some ducks. He cleaned some woodies. And left the goozles in it. Yeah. Yeah, he didn't get the lungs and everything else. Every one of them.

You had to redo it. Yeah. Yeah. The only thing he got out was like the gizzard. Like he reached there, got the gizzard. The rest of it, yeah, the rest of it was still in. Everything else. I mean, you mess up around these boys.

It's on. Oh, yeah. But Willie hang on you too. Oh, Willie's just as good. There's a guy in town that's a waiter. Oh, that's the jacks. He's two years younger than me. That's the Jacks right there.

And he, if Willie sees him, because whenever he was seven years old, he said he had mud and his butt out at Camp Chioca. Because he slipped and fell in a little. puddle he goes mom i got mud in my butt willie if if he walks in that kid in town he's like oh it's old mud in his butt here working at this place i'm like what are we not gonna let that one go nope and old mud butt butt boy well he called his future son-in-law butt cut oh right i mean like well he did have a part right down the middle of his hair well butt cut from balkhamville he said that it at the rehearsal dinner yeah no at their wedding i'm pretty sure the rehearsal dinner

The rehearsal dinner, because I was there, and I laughed for 10 minutes. Everybody laughs except for him and his dad. No, but then he, then at the wedding, at the wedding. At the wedding. Well, you were there. Yeah. That crap was so funny. I know why his dad did him because they looked like this.

Oh, yeah. At the wedding, Willie told, he was like, all right, yeah, after it was over and they walked out, he said, and all you people from Palmfield, don't keep any of the fish. go down to my car. Yeah. No, the way he said it was, he said,

because Sadie had just got married, and he said, well, I looked up, old Sadie shows up with Christian from Niceville. And then I look up

and here comes Bella with butt cut from Bacomville. Yeah. And look, the whole room just bust out laughing. Oh. Oh, that was so funny.

Oh, well. What about a Benny Do-Doodoo? Benny do do do do Oh, Jimson? Benny Doodoo. Well, Phil named him Jimson. And then Willie hung Benny Doodoo on him because you remember why? I do not.

He was letting, you remember that RV? Oh, yeah, he lived in the RV. He lived in the RV and Willie walked in there and the smell was just atrocious. And from then on, he was known as Benny Doodoo. He is in my phone as Benny the Doodoo. Oh. But he was. He was gymson to everybody here.

Yeah. And I know his parents showed up, and they couldn't find him. Nobody knew his real name. We looking for Benjamin Mongols. And they said, oh, don't know. We don't have anybody by that name. Well, they named Jordan the Hobbit.

Yeah, he went from the Hobbit to Frodo. Frodo. I mean, you just, hey, Hunter, you're laughing over there. You're in this office now. You're close. Just wait. It won't be Hunter long. We've all been very nice to you for 300 episodes.

But too many of these robberses start showing up. If you got something that you don't like about yourself, cover it right now. Don't let them say your car. Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. Park in the back. Stay in the back.

I don't know how they can use an orange Ford Focus against you or whatever that thing is. They will. They will. They will. That ain't a Ford Focus. That's one of them things of hamsters. That's one of them cubes. That's one of them.

Yeah. I don't know what that thing is. I was wearing a. my green jacket once and Willie called me Oz because he can never remember my he doesn't even remember meeting me he takes your last name is eyes born I guess no I think he was calling me the wizard of Oz really maybe I don't know that's what he calls Gary Glenn just depends on the day just depends on the day hunter but every time I meet him he never remembers me I'm just saying if there's not personal if there's something that can identify you in your office as being different hide it hide it

Keep it in your desk. If you just want to be Hunter, you just play this school. You'll be all right. Well, one, one, uh, when I, when I gripped beer started turning a little gray, I put a little dye in my beer,

this was about five years ago. And I saw Willie the next day. Uh-oh. There's old black beard. Yeah. Their attention to detail is disturbing. Oh, it's crazy. They'll know if you gained a pound overnight.

Oh, yeah. Like, what's you eating? I'm like, what are we talking about? Yep, it's wild, man. Anyway, let's take another break. We'll be back after this. Well, Si, you're excited about our trip. Where are you going?

To South Texas? Oh, what are you talking about? Yeah, I'm excited. The last time I was there, I got to choose that. Oh, yeah. Okay. And I told telling Martin earlier, you know, I seen 65 deer. The first morning we was there.

And 36 of them was bucks that was bigger. than that. Well, I said, yeah. I fact-checked you on that. I asked Justin, I said, do you all have any deer bigger than the one-sized shot? He said, one. Hey. Well, hey, he's been busy because, hey, I watched them.

Okay, I seen 36. I just kept looking at my binoculars saying, good, great. I said, Justin, when are you going to give me the green light, son? Right now. It was 35, and then one minute later it was 36. Yeah. That's how side stories were. I told him, I said, because he reminded me,

he said, yeah, we go and hunting. I said, well, whatever it is, got to be bigger than that one. That's right. You can't go backwards. Yeah. Well, no, no, because I was telling Eddie, I said, well, that's probably going to be the biggest. I want something behind my head, too. Yeah.

Biggest buck that I'll ever kill. He said, would not if you hunt next year. And I said, well, you're right. I said, because I don't watch the hit parade go by me yesterday morning. Yeah. So you got, you got, what, red, green, red, yellow. You know, tag. God bless of marriage.

Yellow is three years old. Oh. Red is four years old. I was going to say. I was going to say, yellow is five years old. I was going to say yellow is five grand. Red is ten grand. Oh, no.

And orange is. If you got to ask, you shouldn't be here. Yeah. Yeah. If you got to ask what color to shoot, you don't need to be there. Yeah. I got a row out. I don't see you know with a tag in his ear.

Boy, I will. Now, if this one of them axes. Yeah. Now, you're talking about some good. Oh, no. I was going to shoot an axis over at Eddie's. And he was just, and he, hey, he felt the vibes. Well, I put the scope on him because they said it for 470.

That's 470. He felt the facts. Oh, no. Oh, no. He felt the vibe. They said, hey, Justin is one. He said, I said, how far is that axis down there? Because he asked me, you want to shoot him?

I said, I shoot him. you know so hey he he he raised him he said 470 and i said well what we're going to do he said let me set the gun so he set the scope to 470 and hand it to me as soon as i put the crosshairs on that deer he was standing in the broad open hey he felt my vibes i was just fixed squeeze trigger and hey he jumped in in the brush he felt that he felt that icy stare that's right he was fit go down i'm telling you four 70 hey 470 at 400 70 yards. I couldn't even tell you as a deer. Oh, no. Oh, you could know. On this

one, you'd know. You'll look, he had seven foot out or sticking up above his eight. That's like there was a bull, boys. That's coming from the guy. How far was that deer? That one there was about 60. And you couldn't even see his aunt was, so you're

telling me an axe is deer at 470 yards. That was pretty. You were looking at a mesquite bush. No, no, I'm telling you, hey, you were to think when he took the camera and me shooting that deer, you wouldn't think it was 10 o'clock in the daylight. When I shot that there, it was dark. That was pre-cateract surgery.

Yeah. Oh, so it really was hazy. Well, no, I admit it. Okay, I was going blind and didn't know it. Yeah. Okay. Not now, baby. Not anymore.

Not anymore. Not far off. I'd say good for all. How many years did you wear glasses? Oh, good grief. If you'd ask my wife. When did you start wearing glasses? Probably 72 when I got, went to the military.

So you went, 50 years needing a cataract. Oh, yeah. No, no, because, I mean, they, they were so scarred my lenses on my eyes. They were so scarred that, no. Because, you know, you got your chart, and I think there's five lines. And this man built the part that matters on our duck line. Yeah. Yeah.

blind you don't think the good Lord didn't have his hand over his coming oh hey I've seen his footprint that's what I'm saying the man that builds the one part that it takes to make a duck all work

was blind doing it and look in wood ducks you had to cut them by hand with scissors at the time yeah there's a whole box of them right there I don't know what that came from I did I gave it to Martin I said I'm done threw them in my lap I threw them in the lap

I said hey enjoy them boys because, hey, that's the last one I'm cutting or making. Yeah, that one right there is vintage. That's actually size handwriting on top of it. Wait, you just found a bunch of reeds you made from, oh, no, I'd cut them up. We didn't use them. They were trash. They were too long.

I did that one coming. He made the last batch long, and we didn't want to have to trim them. It's just too long. We figured out a way you could make them all the same size right after the real. The phone is the one that automated everything. Yeah. Oh, man. We were running so many out of there that ain't nobody got time to be trimming reed.

No. No. Or wedges. Or a filing plastic insert. I used to trim them all the time. Yeah. Madness. The worst one was that white hard wedge.

I have cut so many. Well, not all that. Hey. Yo, my thong, Jason's thumb, before you cut it. Mm-hmm. Did you just have? It's just a callus all the way of crawl. Yeah.

You know how I fix that. Well, I know you fix it. James would show me. You got to make this cut right here. I said, but you got to go from tip to tip. You're cutting a plastic wedge with a pocket knife. Towards you.

Oh, yeah. He said, Toward you. Yeah. I said, why don't you make a mold of it? He's like, oh, that ain't going to work. That ain't going to work. Yeah.

Well, that was job security with Joe. Then I said, well, cut me the perfect one, so I have something to go by. So he cut it, handed it to me. I put it in an envelope. He's like, what are you doing? I said, I'm going to mail it in. He's what, here's what. Here's what.

When it comes back? Click. I can roll. No more cutting wet. Oh, yeah. Yeah, job security for Jay. All the problem was, he wasn't cutting them. I come in there'd be a box of them in my chair, say, hey, cut them.

Cut them. Yeah, no. I used to wrap athletics tape around my thumb. I couldn't use the pocket knife. What kind of tape? Athletics? Yeah. Well, they wrap your ankle?

Hey, I'd wrap it so thick, and then it finally comes. cut through it. Yeah. I used a pair of blood. I'd use a pair of scissors. I'd use a pair of scissors. I cheated. I got off that pocket. I could cut it with a scissors. Oh, I could. Them orange-handled scissors? Yeah. I couldn't do it. Man, you could, you could storm through them in.

But the problem is it'd take me eight hours to cut a thousand. No, no. And it would take him four hours to build a thousand. Oh, no. I'm like, what the heck? They didn't talk to me because the most time spent is the, a wooden call. 200. Yeah.

You're not told Phil? I said, hey, you need to, you're selling them for, I don't know what you're selling for, but hey, you need. I said, hey, triple that. Yeah. Triple it. Hey, guess what happens? That's where all the time spent.

Guess what happened when I became general manager? You tripled it? I two and a half did. Okay. It's $85, no. Yeah, I'll fix it because, hey, that's where all the time has spent. Jace would sit there and file every one of them. Oh, I?

Yeah. Yeah. Trim the reeds. Okay. Still. Yeah. So I got, well,

no, I cut the reeds. The worst part is he but at the end of the day go back behind you. Oh yeah. And check the ones you don't. Yeah.

And then just berate you. Yeah. For. Yeah. And then, he may, he just hit it a couple of time with the files out.

See, I had to fix yours too. Yeah. But all that was was job security. Yeah. He was the only one that could do it. He was good at it. That old DC,

He was the fastest. I'll give me math. He did it faster and better than anybody on the filing and all that. Well, yeah. That DC 200, not two of them are the same. No, no. Every one of them. Every one of them's custom.

That's right. Hand-filed every last one of them. Hand-filed every last one of them. And today they all are a little higher pitch than they work is the only man doing it. He likes them ringers. He likes them ringers. He likes them ringers. He likes to scream on one, boys.

He likes all. But anyway, let's take our last break, get in that mailbox, and we'll be back right after this. Oh, there he is, baby pencer. Hold on. We're ready. We're going to have to build something. Martin, I need like a divider between me inside because he cheats and looks at all the

things I'm going to show him before. Oh, that doesn't matter. Hello at duckcallroom.com. I like him doing that because his poker face is terrible, so I know like if we got something good coming. So Tom from robbing North Carolina North Calcutack, boy, good country. Good country.

You say that every time we've done? I love it. I love it. Hey, North Carolina is good people and South Carolina. Phil said that before. He's been all over the United States. And hey, best people, North Carolina, South Carolina.

Maybe. They're solid. I like them. The dashers live there. Well, you know, you got your people move in that you can't do nothing about. They're not, they're Floridians. Floridian.

That's even worse. Flaherd. All right, anyway, he sent in, he believes he has a Black Panther on his trail camera. What is that? I told you he's a baby Black Panther. A baby Black Panther. That looks like one of them, what them things called, you play with Hunter, Pikachu's? You say you.

A baby Pikachu, boy. Oh, that was funny. I think I looked like somebody Furby got loose. What's your little pigs? Furby. Hey, what's this little baby pigs

in Arizona and Texas? Avalina. Avilina, yeah. Yeah. That's a weird looking. That poor cat doesn't lost half his tails. Hey, look like sweepie. He's fluffy for sure.

Yeah. That one right there got a flea collar on. Yeah. Ain't no doubt about it. Flea collar? Yeah, somebody's trapped a flea collar. That was next. All right.

Well, he didn't really, he knew it wasn't a Black Panther, but it did come across. Yeah, I got that picture the other day of one at my mom's house again. I put it on Instagram, so that haters will say it's fake. Yeah.

That one, that is his neighbor's cat. Yeah. He is aware. So we're proud of you, Tim or Tom, for knowing that. For not spreading misinformation. We're not putting that on Facebook.

Steven's got a different one. He's from you. Capua. Apparently, this man's got good questions because we've apparently answered couple of them before. And he says, thanks for that. But his question is this, you know, every once in a bind,

quit reading them. No, I like this. This is going to be good. Every once in a bind. And you like to go number two on your own time at your own house. Home field advantage. Everybody likes a home field advantage. He even says, I'm all about home field advantage.

Where do you think the best place to go when you're in a pinch is and you can't be at home? The side of the road. What? Nope. Nope. Side of the road. Two choices.

Because that ain't ever warm. Two choices. There's no worse feeling than a warm public toilet seat. When you're in a bind and you're like, oh my gosh, I got to get this out. You sit down as warm because you know somebody just defiled that thing. And you're like, I got to get out of here. They didn't defile it. They just used it as it was intended to be used.

I know, but I don't want to sit on your rear end. Like, I'm just said, do you want to simplify? on mine. It's a weird way to put it, friend. But that's what you're doing? Well, hey, that's what's happening. Like, why you think it seats warm? Yeah.

Everybody just got off of it. And not only did they just get off of it, they camped on it a little while. Because it takes a while to transfer heat to a plastic toilet. Oh, that's right. Yeah, I'm with Martin on this. You do. The last place you want to go take a dump is at a gas station or a rest area. But every now and then that mustache gets sweating and you got to do.

got to go. So put it over the side of the road, go in the woods, find you a tree about you big around. That's why I said... Two hands around it just like this. And then you squat. And you squat as deep as you can squat. You take your bridges out first. And when you get to a good, when you get to a good balance point, you let go with your weak arm and you pull your bridges forward. That's why I said eight but two places to go. Okay. And whatever you do, make sure your wallet is in your front pocket. Yeah. And don't ever do it while a duck on Well, wait a don't. You're never going to get them lower enough.

No, I just come all the way out. He said, be sure to pull your bridges down. I would hate to tell you the numbers that wouldn't fit on either one of these hands. How many times I've grabbed my front tire? Oh, yeah. On the side of, like, not out in the woods. No. Yep, that's why I was telling you.

There's two places. When you're in the woods hunting, you find your log, and you get on the end of it. Look, I used to drink cheap dark liquor before going duck hunting. oh this is before crime yeah this is piece of but i'm telling you right now like old crow yeah and then the other one is when you're in a boat you're fishing i just jump in all you got do you jump it take pants off jump in okay let a rip and let a rip make sure you go in with a current here's the only thing there is a you know there's a what alert for jumping in the water because you have to do number two when it comes up it's fixed to come

to you. Okay, it's going to follow you. See, Sa ain't been fishing in a while. Si, I don't realize

power points. You ain't got to get in the water no more. No. You can grab onto your shallow water anchor as it's up

out of the water and get back in? And just lean back? It's just like a tree. You good. Reach in there and he calls hole, grab your dude,

wipes, handle your business, go on. That's it. Go on by your business. Yeah, but when you're doing the water, you already take the care of. But, so, you know,

how I deal with that current situation. You need to be like an old buck. have your nose into the wind. Into the wind. That way, when it comes up, the wind will take it away. That's right. Yeah, because if you get turned around, that's a...

Yeah, I understand. When it comes up, hey, it's fixed to come to, it's coming back to you. Swim! Well, no, because then every time you create current, it keeps it at you. So you can't really... You just kind of got a shimmy and get away. It's a bad deal. I'm most concerned about all this I-20, actually.

I thought this was like deer hunting and stuff. Buddy, between Monroe, we hunted and Waverly. There ain't nowhere on I-20. I ain't stopped between Monroe and Waverly. And number two, not one. No, number one, I'm just pissing a bottle in my truck. Yeah. Like, I don't even have to stop for that.

I mean, I've done that. Yeah, cruise control in your knee. You can take care of everything else. Children don't do that. No, I mean, get some experience under your help. Hey, look, when you got to go. Yeah, do it in a side-by-side. Right, look, if you've got to go, it's either get wet or, hey, take it, put a bottle.

Well, look, when that happens, you're saying woods, I ain't got time to get to the wood. He ain't got time. I barely got time to step out of my truck. Man, it hits you, huh? Yeah. Oh, yeah, because odds are I should have stopped 10 minutes ago when it hit me. I was like, no, it'd be right. I think I should just gas.

No, it wouldn't gas. And it shows up. Yeah, because you got your seat heaters on. That old lower bowel gets nice and warm. Oh, yeah. Next thing you know. Then things start happening? That'll have seed heaters.

Next thing you know you. Oh, I do. I don't. And the air conditioner. I'm in, I'm not. There's things I'll splurge on. I'm tight now. It ain't nothing better to get in a pickup truck,

get to sit down on a warm seat. Now, see, that's the exact opposite of a public toilet. Yeah. You pick up truck seat can be warm. That's nice. Yeah. I'm interested in the air conditioning seat. I don't really need the heated set.

Oh, yeah. I'm tight, but there's a few things I'll splurge on. Well, speaking of having to go number two, Sigh and Stone. Okay. We have a question for veterans here. David from Riverside, California, ask, what was your favorite MRE? His was cheese tortellini.

I feel like this would make me have to go to the side of the road. Mine, I'll go first. Mine was definitely the spaghetti with meat sauce because I had that jalapeno nach cheese spread in there. and I would put that spread and mix it in with that spaghetti. With spaghetti? Yeah. Made you feel like he's back at Johnny's pizza for a brief minute? No, no.

You had a bowel movement about once a week because, and that was planned because the last thing you want to do since we're on the subject is have a bow movement in Afghanistan. 10. If you could get it down to once a week, it was a good thing. Very fair. And those MREs, guess what, buddy? You have a steady diet of MREs. You ain't going to be regular.

No. It's going to be about once a week. Yeah, because they don't want you crapping a lot. Then you get caught with your bitches now. The government did it on purpose. Yeah. Stop you up a little bit. Oh, yeah.

Cy? Same deal. Really. there wasn't no favorite. It was all garbage. Yeah, that's all bad. But that cheese spread wasn't bad. Yeah, but because of the alipanias, okay, yeah, it helped.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I don't know how to go. Okay. That's good. We have that answer. There you go.

Let's end it. I didn't know where we were going with that, but I did not expect nacho cheese jalapeno spread to be involved. Let's go dear. Anytime you get alipinas. What? Anything. It makes it better. Makes it better.

First John 1-9. If we confess our sins, God is faithful and just, and we'll forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. That's just a good verse that's that lived by. Amen. We're out of here. We'll see y'all next time.