Duck Call Room - Willie Robertson’s Airport Survival Strategy Is Pure Chaos

Episode Date: September 8, 2026

Uncle Si and the boys let AI steer the show, and somehow it leads them straight into a story too unbelievable to be true. Si defends his questionable airplane etiquette, John-David reveals Willie’s incredibly effective trick for keeping the middle seat empty, and Jessica’s unforgettable farewell to a driver during the crazy ‘Duck Dynasty’ travel days is a family legend. Phillip admits he once picked up a suspicious package at the airport, private planes, and Martin and Si wax nostalgic about the best airplane trip of their lives. Duck Call Room episode #585 is sponsored by: https://tecovas.com/duck — Get 10% off when you sign up for email and texts. https://duckstamp.com - Get your digital duck stamp online and keep it right on your phone! https://rocketmoney.com/duck - Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster! - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have we figured out what we're doing yet? No. Okay, that's what I figured. That's what I think. This is a white, wait for it podcast. Let it get there. Something, something will click here in a minute. I wish I had a big cherry bomb.

I'd let it throw it in there. You're bored. It's I getting bored. Listen how funny this is. I'd break it. Hey, all I did this. Now, this is hilarious. Sad G.

Maybe the title should be. be using AI to record a podcast. Welcome to the comedy hour. Because I typed in who was here. It asked me who was here. It said with Uncle Si, Martin, John David, and Philip on the mic, you have the perfect blend of size,

wild storytelling, Martin's pragmatic outdoor knowledge, John David's quick wit, suck on that, Hunter. In your face, baby! And Phillips' relatable everyday perspective. All right. Let's do it.

I'm in. Here are. We're doing the AI episode right now. Welcome back to the D-Eyie. We're typing in what we should do on artificial intelligence, and artificial intelligence is going to tell us what to do today. Go, Martin. So what did you type in? I just typed in Evergreen podcast topics. So it gave me a list of it. Then it said, tell me who's on the mic, and that's where I started. I told them who was here. And now they, it's, I have a quick wit,

according to AI. It's funny because now it says debunking and fact-checking sigh. Well, we can't do that A. Because Christine ain't here. But we all know she's the tacos. I'm just the truth sayer. We have outdoor realities versus expectations. It says Martin's survival guy. My survival guy does go home, by the way.

Just don't just go home versus size instincts. Do you have instincts? Yeah, he does. The worst helper. My instinct is when it's cold stets out. Go home. Go home. It's 2026, y'all.

all the great indoors are wonderful. Yeah. Then it said, who's the worst, the other one is, who's the worst helper in the blind? John, David, and Philip roast each other

about who's the biggest liability during a serious bond? Why is that so funny? I'm not laughing. I know. I am. It's one of us, for sure.

Wow. I feel like you'd be, hold on, I think we need to answer that. Well, I think he's the winner. He's the biggest liability. Hey, yeah, Philip.

What are you talking about? For sure. Hey, a man comes on one time and he's banned for life. Hey, I didn't get banned. I just cheers as much to go back. That's only from the duck blind, though. We still go squirrel hunting. That's right.

We've been rabbit hunting, quail, pheasant. Now, the rabbit hunt. Dubs. I mean, not the rabbit hunting is a hoot. Now that was fun. Okay, because we get about 20 people with side by side. With Roman candles. Okay.

and Roman candles show up and he brings a little dog that all that dog is a person? He waits so you start to the boss starts shooting Roman candles up in the street At the squirrels.

At the squirrels. To make them move. Okay, that seems... And then he starts barking. Okay. He's a little, what's the breeze? Snowser or something.

Jesse? Uh-huh. Bobo and James. Jesse, what are they? Oh, terriers, rat terrier. Gross. Yeah, rat terriers. Oh, I'm sorry.

He's got one of them. Ah, I got you. And it's a barrage of lead going up into the tree. Oh, wow. All for the vicious squirrel. We've got two big. And you can't eat them. The vicious mighty squirrel.

Hey, we got two big guys that, you know, pretty good size fellows. They're the vine shakers. Free shaker. Okay. Huh? Yeah. Man. You do all this for just a squirrel?

Yeah. And look. And there's two or three up there, and then, hey, you got 20 people with shotguns, rifles. That's a whole well-drawn. Oh, hey. So they're not very good eating because they're shot to pieces. But the time they get the floor to the ground, they don't, they've been full of hole. Tenderized.

Oh, I know that. Interesting. But it is a hoot to go and do it. Okay, it really is. You do love a good old squirrel. Well, that's my favorite wild game. There's nothing better, okay, for two things. The texture, then the flavor.

What about like a wild chicken? Oh, no, chicken. I throw chicken away. Don't go crazy. No, I'm serious. I throw chicken away. You've never thrown a chicken away in your life. Oh, yeah, I throw it away.

I'll tell you this. How many squirrels did you think I could eat? Young squirrels. Thank you for clarifying young squirrels. You once ate 24 donuts on national television. I'm going to say you could eat 15 squirrels. Nope. Me and my wife's brother,

that's what he ordered. He was coming in to visit. And he says, I won't squirrels. Okay. I kill 24 young ones. And I think Christine ate one leg and maybe a back. And hey, me and him, that was nothing left. Wipe them out.

Fifteen's a pretty good. good thing. Yeah, that ain't right. We ate between the three of us, we ate 24. That would be four legs, a back. What'd you do on them heads? Cut them off. You didn't eat?

I ain't like that. No brain either. You'd be if you was that, in the case that time you'd hear, you'd hear crack, crack, crack. She'd take a big butcher knife and pop out of the hand. Well, Martin's grandmother used to freeze them, and then what did she do? she would leave the eyeballs. He left the eyes and the old ones. Old one.

And took them out of the young one. Oh, so you know the difference. Yeah, you know, because they didn't have a Sharpie. No. That you could just write old and young on. No, you go open that freezer up. Give me a thing. Squirrels out the freezer.

I'm going to thaw them. I'm going to look in there and he said in my old eyeballs. I'm like, what are we having? We haven't fried or dumplings? Well, no, no. That mattered because. That's better than going in and open the freezer and there's fish. Oh.

Frozen. Yeah, no, we ain't doing that. Like, no, no, I'm full of guts and everything. Yeah, no. Why would you freeze the guts? Well, no, I'm talking about some people do that. Oh, yeah. Who?

Well, I've been in houses where I open the freezer and there was fish in there. Oh. Like 50 bluegill. Did you leave? I didn't eat. I didn't eat. I didn't eat. If they'll do that with a fish, I'm telling them what you do with this hamburger.

Hey, call me rude. Whatever, but hey, no. He's out. Call him, rude, or whatever. I'm sorry. There's certain things that, hey. I have a standard and it has to be beaten. One of them is wild game preparation.

Yeah. Okay, I'm not going to eat fish that you threw in the freezer and froze every thing intact. Yeah. And they said, oh, they're delicious. I said, well, I'll take your word for it. I got a question for you. look, but we've been flying a lot lately. We, I have been.

Airplane etiquette. You're talking to the wrong people. Why, I love flying with Si. He goes to sleep. No, no, no. He distracts so many people. He sits behind on. And he tailytap, he sings, he bumps.

Things like that. What, airplane etiquette? Yeah. How do you feel about... I was told, I mean, I got air muffs on listening to the good music. Okay. You shouldn't sing. Because my man here has got, you know, well, I didn't do it on the plane.

Oh. But I will do it in the airport when we're just waiting for life. He will put on a show for the terminal, which I appreciate it. Oh, I did. I put on a four-hour show there one time I over a layover. Yeah. I appreciate that. Hey, everyone, you know, I should have went ahead and put my hat out and let's

a fill a little old money. But he was stomping. You should do that. You should do that. Look, they called. I'm listening to music, y'all, and the next I know, sir. The young lady is tapping me on the shoulder and said,

sir, would you stop kick in the seat in front of you? I took off my Well, you can't do that here. Can't take off your headphones. Put your mic back off. Grab his mic.

I can't help him. I don't know who's been lying to you. He's got to take the headphones. I'm not kicking her chair. Man, I'm smashing the floor. No, no, and look. And I pointed down to my leg. And hey, I was listening to a good song that has a really strong good beat to it.

What's up? So my footage is going, probably radar love. And he had his boots on and he's stomping behind her. She calls a stewardess. And I'm just shaking my head. I'm listening. And a girl looked at me and said, no, you're not kicking her chair, are you? I said, no, ma'am, I'm not.

And I said, if you think I'm going to stop what I'm doing right now, wrong answer. I said, hey, you're lucky that I don't start singing right now. Yes, he is. Okay, because, hey. You threatened her with a good time? Hey, well, no, I'm just talking about it. I said, hey, there's a thing known as freedom of speech. Yeah.

And I'm very avid about it since I spent 24, four years protecting that little deal. That's good. Yeah, I wasn't even talking about this. And citing the riot. Yeah, you were just talking about all the ding-dongs that don't put their phone on airplane. Which did you know that if your phone's on airplane mode, you can still pull up your duck stamp at ductstamp.com? There you go. I didn't know that. I didn't know that there was an airplane mode for phone. Yeah. And whenever you got your duck stamp on duckstamp.com, you can put it in your wallet.

You can access it even if you were hunting in the air for some reason. It's there. No, what I was talking about, and this isn't happened to me. Okay. It's all. It happened to John, didn't it? It lied to me about the etiquette of flying. No, I'm just, you have no etiquette. If you are slamming your foot on the ground, you have thrown etiquette out to window, sir. Even if it is a good song.

Even if it's Dolly Parton, that is bad etiquette. Hit him, Zai. Slap him. Watch out, J.D. There's other people, man. That's like when Carter dropped that fart bomb on the way to Colorado. You said that wrong. On the plane?

There's not other people when you're talking about Dolly Parton. You're telling him if there's other subwomen, okay? Where did Dolly Park? I was just saying, no matter how good the music is. You can't. On a plane, you can't be doing this. She's at the top, baby. Martin on the Toccova's website, they got cowboy boots.

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Well, go ahead. Hold on, hold on. So I'm trying to figure out what this smells from. Because I'm not sitting next to Carter. He's up there with my sister, his aunt. And I'm like, you're the only man I was thought that heard that it will smell something in there. Let me see what it finds out, what it is. I had to know.

It was terrible. Look, everybody in the plane is looking around. Everybody else is going. I flash you a late on the plane. There's a baby three rows up, and they're checking. it's diaper because it's got to be this kid's done crapped his pants and they're like oh it's not the baby and then all the sudden i look and carter's looking at me got to look about and he's giggling because he knows what he's done yeah full grown man just gassed out an airplane

i yeah one mspd it was the worst but deadly you did that on a plane no it was even better we done that in what are the uh in new york oh oh yeah I know, the Jessica story behind the scenes. Black car. Black car service. Oh, yeah. Hey, it's the whole crew, okay? And I'm in the front seat with Jessica.

I've shot guns. She's in the middle. And the guy's driving. A bigger car? Driving. And son, I'm telling you, she left one loose, silent but deadly. It's all right. And hey, this guy said, hey, he rolled his woman.

and I said, if you do that again, I'll stop and put everyone on you. Well, the next day, he picked us up again. It was taking us to the airport. We fixed a lead. Jessica said, I'm going to give him one last shot. That's terrible. We do need to have Jessica back on just to discuss. Can we discuss this story?

I don't think you were. Hey, look, just one of them silent, but deadly diesels won in BOR. Did she ever own up to it? Oh, yeah. No, no. When she did it, she didn't look at him and smiled. What a psycho. You're talking about, hey.

You talk about this was roachy boys. I remember I was in the back, like way, way back with the luggage. What I told her, I said, hey, that was a fitting. I liked a salute you gave him when we left. Oh, man. Anyways. We didn't even talk about what I thought. Yeah, what were you trying to get to?

No, you sit down by a complete stranger. Do you talk or not? No. No, I say hi and how are you doing? And I put my headphones on and then that's it. Yeah. It depends on who's sitting there. Hold on.

He said a complete stranger. A complete stranger. Yeah. But, Sa, you're sitting first class next to the window. Right. But he ain't ever got a stranger. It's always one of us. Yeah, that's right.

So I don't have to fight this issue or worry about this. Yes, he does. He's sitting there probably looking at each person that comes on. If it's a tall blonde girl, he's like, ooh, I'll talk to her. Well, he gets to see everybody because he goes first. As you wheed him down the ramp. He jumps up. It's a miracle.

You got to do something. What do you want to get on last? Then he runs to his seat, and they're like, huh. Didn't have him peg for that. All right. You know. I've never understood the people that are dying to get on the airplane. Yeah.

I want to be in, like, the last group. Yeah. the least amount of time in that bucket but the problem is now if you don't go early and you brought a carry on it ain't go I always like to look at the variety of what's coming on the plane

I really do you got some weird people that I don't say I know I mean I'm serious oh that's a whole other one is airport dress codes they have gone just completely out the window one time me and Willie flew southwest That's one that they, the, I want to hear that.

No, no, that's, that's one they need to address the whole air, you know, all their airport. Dress code in an airport. You're dressed up today, by the way. Your shirt's tucked in. You got the pearls snaps on. Got his new duck commander hat on. Hey, that's poncho boy. Hey, poncho.

Where's Lefty? Poncho Villa. Hey, lefty's down in the desert. No, he's like he got better, he better watch it or he, you know, he's not going to be like puncho. Now, these days it's like people put the least amount of. effort they can into what they wear flying. They look like me, circa 2015.

Yeah, but I never questioned if you had underwear on. Like, some people today, I'm like, look at this cat. They're not wearing underwear? I mean, I don't know. It wouldn't surprise me. I'm like, they legit looked like they stepped out of their bed, went through security, and we're like, Oh, hold on. One time me and Willie flew South West. Well, Willie always had pants on. Well, you know how in Southwest, you just, you just,

get on. Yeah. It's a free for all. And it's a free for all. Yeah. So me and Willie were like, we got to protect this middle seat because we're both large. Yeah. I've gotten smaller since then.

He's still the same size. I got a question. I may be bigger. What? Look, so we both got our hair because it was wild. I took a hat off. He took his bandan off. And we just looked like two homeless guys sitting there waiting for somebody to come sit between us.

And we watched every person get on that plane and we just look at them. There's a seat if you want it. There you. No, no. And that nobody sat there. But yeah, that's what I do. Why I want to go first because I want to see everybody that's coming on. Have a wild airport story.

Look, there's a lot of good looking. Yeah, Hunter, you're a little ball of anxiety. What do you do? Are you a nervous flyer so talking helps you? Oh, gosh, I would hate to sit next to Hunter. I used to be a nervous flyer, but I've done it enough where I'm like normal now. Nope. That's a strong word for you.

One, very recently. You just called yourself normal, man. I can't let that. Go hunter. But very recently, I had this girl who stopped me to talk to me before we made it onto the airport or airplane at the gate. No. And we talked for a while. I was like, oh, she's pretty cool.

She then asked the flight attendant to change her seat. And I'm sitting at the very back of the plane, the very last seat. About a turlet. Yeah. And then she comes all the way back there to sit next to me, to keep talking. It was a wild conversation. Hunter, she was into you.

I don't think so. Oh, my. Thank goodness you have a moment. Nobody voluntarily sits by you unless they're into you. And I'm not saying you in general. Nobody goes through the trouble of changing their seats. You didn't have to carry a bag for her, did you? No.

Like hold this until we get to where we're going? No, no. Was she homely? No. You run into a drug day. That doesn't matter for some way as long as she can cook good. Of course she may have. She may have looked at him and realized he was the least threatening person on the plane and said,

you know what? I'm going with him. Yeah. He looks honest. This was in October, last October. So I was wearing a Spirit Halloween bracelet. And she was like, oh, you like Spirit Halloween. Also, I'm a furry.

Okay. Oh, she was a furry? Yeah. Yes, I, there you go. Why didn't you lead with the fact that she was a furry? Because I didn't know until halfway into the furry. Because I could withdraw, I could withdraw my last statement. Well, no, no, because I got a question of that.

She was just wondering if you were a dog or what? Are there people that go to the airport every day and spend the day at the airport, you're walking back and forth? Well, if you fly to Monroe, you might. No, no, because I'm serious. I've been in an airport and, hey, and we've had a big, long layover. Yeah. Oh, you like.

And it's this guy or a woman that walked from about, you know, six or seven up, pass. Oh, well, I can't say nothing. I do that. And come back forward. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but for four or five hours? But, sir, I remember that.

We had a 15-hour layover in Chicago, and we missed the event we were going to. Fifteen-hour layover in Chicago. Yes. Because you could have been home. That's right. They kept saying after five hours, oh, we got everything fixed, you know. Oh, it got delayed into 15 hours. Oh, y'all ended up and then.

The plan was in 15 hours. Right. It started out like a two hour delay. And then we were there for 15 hours. All is forgiven. Yeah. We missed the event. We had to, well, we went and tried to work it out as a Duck Commander event.

Yeah. Oh, well. Yeah, that's it. No, but I do that. The airport seats are so uncomfortable. Well, they make them uncomfortable. so you go spend money. Well, I was looking because, I mean, this person's...

They don't want you to be comfortable. I'll get 12,000 steps in an airport. Hey, man. This guy spent like five hours walking back before it's in front of me. I got stuck in the Minneapolis airport for four hours one time, and I found a weird moving sidewalk that was over in a corner by itself, and I just walked in the wrong direction on it like it was a treadmill. There you go.

For like an hour. Yeah. What else was I going to do? Cardio work. Hey, do y'all have any ridiculous subscriptions that you? you thought, hey, I'm just going to sign up for this. The next thing you know you've been paying for it for six months. Yeah, Bella does that all the time.

I like how I asked if you did it and you're throwing your wife under me. Yeah, what the world is that about? I just not a subscription guy. You don't have any? I am. I mean, I've signed up for some before and forgot. Most ridiculous one ever, go. Flushable wipes.

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Not really. No. I don't. You know the coolest thing that ever happened to me in an airport? Yeah. In an airplane. I get up, I'm with Willie, we stand up, this lady looks at us, we were in first class, I think we were there. Willie was like speaking at Christian Knight at the White Sox. And so we left and the lady looked at us and was like, heard y'all put on a really good show last night. And I was like, y'all, I was just sitting in the dugout. I was eating a dog.

I was like, yeah, everybody said it was really cool at Wrigley Field, which y'all did. And I was like, who does she think we are? Oh, man, we were at the other one. She mistook us for the foo fighters. And I was like, you know what? I'm okay with this in this moment. And which one you think you were? Food.

Probably Kurt Cobain. Just kidding. He's not one of them. Dave Grawl for sure. I don't look like any of the foo fighters. Yeah, I know. She just assumed we were rock. She saw homeless-looking people in first class and assumed we were the rock star.

Yeah. I see people glance at me up there too because I get upgraded almost every time now. And they look down, they're looking at me like, how'd this cat get up here? And I'm like, buddy, you spend enough money with American Airlines? That put you up here every once in a while. I did have, I had a lady one time, you know, the fight to get on the plane. She was ready and she was like in group two or three or something. Yeah.

We'll now accept our, and by the way, just so we're clear, I've never paid for a first class ticket. Couldn't afford it. But Willie could and he wanted me to sit by him. And so. Or he paid the money. Yeah. Or somebody that was grabbing him out and paid for it. So I'm nobody special.

but I walk up and I was looking like I was looking and the lady goes, they're only bored in first class right now, sir. And I looked at her and go, neat. So you shouldn't get on. And I just walked up and handed them my ticket. I was like, that lady thought I deserved the toilet. Oh, you do get some judgmental looks in that thing, man, from everybody.

They're like, how in the world do you get up here? But I was asking that because, you know, I just flew and I had my camera guy, Jared, and he got upgraded because I got upgraded. so everything, but we weren't, they didn't have seats together. And I was like, that's fine, whatever. Like, I don't care. And then what happened? So I won the lottery, right?

I didn't, I mean, my guy's just chill. Headphones on, gone, me too, like. But Jared got the guy that I don't know if he flies first class a lot or maybe he's a nervous flyer, but he was going to see if he could drink them out of whiskey. Oh, good for him. Because it's free in first class. Oh, he thought he was going to get drunk. No, he didn't think he was going to get drunk.

He succeeded in that. He could accomplish it. Yeah, he got drunk. They don't say no in first class. And then starts just yelling at each other. I mean, not like bad yelling. He thinks he's talking, right? Oh, but he's drunk.

He's having a good time. He's yelling. And he just, he keeps Jared, he'll engage Jared. And I'm like two rows behind him. And Jared look over at him and talk to him. And then just Jared go right back to the window. And then my guy, I see that chicken wing go over there, nudging him to talk again. and then they start making bets on if the pilot was Air Force or Navy.

Not real sure what that was about. But then we land and the guy just stands up before we can stand up. Air Force. And I'm like, oh, my goodness. He was having a big time. Oh, yeah. Straight out of Monroe. You know how quick the Monroe to Dallas flight is?

My man got obliterated and got cut off. I've never seen anybody get cut off on a plane. Oh. Especially on a 40-minute flight. I have no story that could tell you. We're not serving you anymore. Oh, yeah. And then the flight attendant said,

we'll get off. He said, man, I hope you don't find another drink between here and your next flight. He got on. You're not my body. But that's why I bring,

you know, my headphones and my sunglasses or whatever. I want to say, hey, how are you doing? And then I'm getting in my zone. I'm not, I'm not waking up.

I'm not, no. No, yeah. I like it. Ask me about. Well, a lot of people, they are scared to fly anyway. I'm one of them.

That's why they will. Still don't like it. Yeah. Make your mind off of what's happening around them. I hadn't flown in like two years and we hit that turbulence other day when me and Allison left town. And I crank that. Boy, it's rough up there right now. I don't like it.

Getting out of town when it's. I do not believe the human body was made to do that. When it's hot, when it's this hot and you got them thermal winds up there, man, it's rough getting up. Well, what you get up here, fine. but getting up and getting out of here. You're still not where a human being is meant to be. And jet lag is real. We flew at 45,000 feet yesterday.

I don't know that I've ever flown that high. Huh. We're usually like 30,000. That's up there. Usually about 30,000 is that high as I've gone. Yeah, 45. We did that when we went to Canada. The coolest thing that ever had me on a plane was

is I get in there on Monroe and I'm going to Florida. Yeah. Down to the Navy Seals. We have a singing gig down there. Hold on Hold on Those are our heroes, ma'am You should say

That is one of the greatest sentences In all of American history Well, I got on a plane From Monroe to Florida You know, because I had a gig singing For the Navy Seals You're the only person that could live on. Oh no, well, it was really cool

So look, I always do it Okay, so And the captain has just announced That, okay, we've reached her cruising Out 2,000, 3,000 feet. Well, when I do, I look out, you know, I always say a prayer. Oh, yeah.

It's a rainbow one. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. As soon as I said, in Jesus' name, I opened my eyes and look, the clouds were right up to my window. Yeah. The big luminous white ones. Yeah. So I can't see nothing.

Oh, I look. Not worth it. And hey, behold, there is a circular. Rainbow. Uh-huh. That's a cloud. Right against my window. I know it.

That's cool. Okay, and I'm looking and saying, wait a minute. No pot of gold, no leprechaun. There's nothing. I want to go. Everything that's round is underneath the fog. Yet this rainbow is clearly circular and it's there. Look, and it's there.

till we start out of your scent in Florida. And then it left? Never left. Hmm, cool. Y'all get on an airplane with hot food. Oh, hey, no, my best trip is when we all flew to Florida, and it was the nicest plane of everything. Oh, no.

And that was, it was, oh, with our Seminole. Yeah, the Seminole's, and they cooked for us. Oh, yeah, made an omelet. Oh, my goodness. We had egg omelet for breakfast. And rode on. on a couch. I saw y'all back down.

They didn't have chairs. They had good looking woman. They didn't have seats. They had couch. Oh, we had couches. I know they taught a bad deal, but man, they made up for in their airplane. Golly. What are you talking about?

Whoever gets to fly on him that's not us. It's a good one. Yeah. That woman up there cracking in the mall. I should have went back and hunted with the chief. Yeah. Call him up. I bet they'd still let us.

I regret that. Me too. I sure should have done that. I'd show like to ride on that. airplane again. We made it from Monroe, Louisiana to almost Miami, Florida in an hour. That's crazy. We just cut straight across the Gulf of Mexico. Them boys said, six hundred miles and hours. I like when the chief asked him what he wanted to hunt and I was like, what season is?

And chief said, it's any season I wanted to be. Whatever you want to hunt. He said, there ain't no rules in here. He said, hey, I'm the rules. Yeah. I said, hey, well, good for you. You want to shoot it? Yeah, hunter, you get on playing with hot food? No. Thank God. The only food I bring on a plane is like gum. Okay, good.

Gum's not food, Hunter. I just see them people that go, you know, like slide by the water burgers. They're getting on the plane and they get on there with a hot hamburger and French fries. What's wrong with that? Because I don't want to smell that. That's better than beef turkey? No. There's nothing worse smelling than somebody else's beef turkey.

There are very few Americans that can't go two hours without a meal. That's all I'm saying. As a... What if they had a short hour? we could all skip two hours worth of meals. But what if they don't have a Wadaburger back home? Well, then poor planning is all I got to. What if I, the only place I can get Chipotle?

Is it D-32 in Atlanta? Yeah. Then come back here and get hobby peas, a locally-owned business. I'm not going to get in one of our flight yesterday. This dude accidentally threw his bag out of a woman, like in a seat. Hold on, accidentally threw it? It was this older gentleman. He was like much old.

About as about as old as you, sigh. And he, I can't tell. Maybe it turns us, boys. We love the women. I can't tell if he was trying to throw it into the seat next to her and just missed. But he threw it like right at her. It was, and then he was like, oh. What did he throw out of her?

His bag. His bag of clothes and stuff. And then he realized it was the wrong seat. Then he sat next to me. Did you question him about it? I was just going to. stay silent. Hey, do y'all have any ridiculous subscriptions that you thought,

hey, I'm just going to sign up for this. The next thing you know, you've been paying for it for six months. Yeah, Bella does that all the time. I like how I asked if you did it, and you're throwing your wife under you. What the world is that about? I just not a subscription guy. You don't have any? I am.

I mean, I've signed up for some before and forgot. Most ridiculous one ever, go. Fluschable wipes. All right, flushable wipes. Well, you know what you need? You need rocket money because rocket money tracks subscriptions in one place and helps cancel unwanted ones easily. So if you've had enough flushable wipes for the rest of your life,

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Rocket money.com slash duck. Airport stories are fun, man. They're always a good time. You see the best and worst of people in an airport. Well, if the last place met me and Si went, and I can't remember what airport it was, but I went in to the bathroom and I was walking out and I saw a big,

I don't know, some kind of package with something in it and it was stapled shut. And the older gentleman before me, I think he had left it. So I grabbed it and I followed him until he sat down. I said, sir, I said, I think you left this in the bathroom. He's like, it ain't mine. Then I tried to turn it in and they were like,

no, no, don't hand that to us. just set it down right there where it is. And they had to call security to come take it away. Billup grabbed a bomb up in an air. They tell you not to leave your stuff unattended. It was unattended. Oh, man. You're supposed to report that.

I did. Like the gentleman before me, I thought it was his, and it wasn't. And now I'm stuck with somebody. I'm always enthralled when you walk in a restroom of an airport, just how many people had a bellyache. Ooh. You know? You walk in there.

That's because the human body is not. meant to go that fast and that high. It messes with your guts. You think? 100%. Really? Got to be. Every time I'm in airport, suddenly,

I got to go. I need Bush to come back and be on the podcast again. Now I've got a lot of questions I could ask. About that? About flight. Does it make you poop? Well, flying. Yeah.

That's bound to be rough on pilots. I'm pilot. I can fly. If you're over in Iran right now, landing on a carrier. going from 600 miles an hour. I'm telling you. Stop.

Two seconds. That's got to be rough on a man. Hitting a moving target, mind you. Because I didn't know it. Would you ride with them? Hey, when they hit the deck, they full throttle. He can't ride with them.

Why? Because if the hook don't grab, they can take off. Because if they're in a full throttle, they can't take off. Gotcha. So they, when they, they're stopped.

They can't ease in. He just, he just hit full throttle when he, them tires hit. And then that cable grabs him and as soon as he does, you know, he knows that he, you know,

he'll jerk back to nut. That's rough. But I didn't know it was full throttle. Is that true? I mean, it sounds right. No, no.

I am not. I am not. A Navy nor Air Force pilots. I've seen top gun many times, but they don't get into that. On the Fox News. Oh, not. Gotcha.

Wait, that's the news channel you have? Well, no, no, because I know what it brought it up. What was the guy that's got the drag racer? That we was with him. We were talking about it. Okay, yeah. About the Jesus pull. Well, a fighter jet pulls about nine.

Space Mountain, about two and a half. That's enough. Yeah. That's a lot of G. drag racer when it's full throttle running it down, that's seven. Yeah. That's why you see them, that's why you see them balloon-tired buckle. Oh, yeah, they fall out.

And I mean, they buckle, you know. Yeah. And when it takes off, that's when they unbuckle. Yeah, that's just, yeah. But that's got to be ruffled on a man sitting in that aircraft when it stops from going 600-mile dire to dead stop. two seconds or left. There was some old gal on ours this time.

She was, she was puking for her. She got on the plane. Oh, no. Oh, yeah. Did you tell her to get away? You brought her bag from the previous flight. She gonna get us all sick.

She'll get me sick. There's got to be some rule against that. I'm not. I'm weak when it comes to any, like, body fluid. No, count me out. Just knock me out. Somebody's fix to get bad news.

If somebody's like, oh, man. I looked everywhere. I was like, Oof. If it starts, no. Yeah.

Now, I've been fishing before when people were throwing up all around me, and I mean... Oh, I had to go down below. Yeah,

I couldn't, I couldn't take it. I'm down below. Because if I ain't get a whiff of it, I'll fix their joints. That doesn't bother me really. Oh,

no. No, no, that's like Phil. Phil can smell anything. I can't do that. I can't smell anything. Your spook doesn't bother me. I think my face.

It's puked so much, then I'm saying, whatever. Yeah, the puke. The only one that's got me even with the boys that time whaling threw up on me. I was like, okay, now that, that's a, this is a problem. Mom would have had a big problem to clean up. Yeah, I don't know how I held it here.

You'd have to clean the son up. You'd have to clean dad and they're wearing around. Yeah. That's one of them. Sorry about these visuals. I'll never forget. He looked over at me. I was like, man, he don't like he's feeling.

too hot and then just look straight in my face. Oh, in the face? That's in the mouth. Whoa. No, thank God for a beard. Oh, gosh. Yeah, I would be able to do that. Oh, yeah, it caught most of them.

Oh, but I just, I told, I just said, come get your kid. Mm. And she looked at him, and she's like, oh, yeah, I better get him. I was like, because all I was doing was trying not to puke on him at that point. So that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's going to let you drive when you get the bad news about dying and all that. He said, you can't drive it until you know you're dying because it will kill you. You got a bad heart.

He's been dying since the day he woke up. Yeah, that's a problem. I was on my way, boy. My only chance to ever get in a plane with the Blue Angels is if Si takes all of us. No, no, look. We're all going to land and sigh's just going to stay up there in heaven with the Lord. I've had three opportunities, and they mightn't have pulled it off all three times. If that does happen, no, we're having a weekend of burning.

And then something happened that they had to go. You know, didn't do it. Before we turn him, man, we're having a weekend at Bernie. We're going to dress him up. We're going to take him places. You know what he's talking about? He said if you die, we're going to prop you up and take you places. That way we can get in.

Yeah, that way you go. I'm going to be on the sidelines of Saints games again. I'll be up on the shoe box, baby. Yeah, you'll be in the life of the party. You'll be my one last key card. Hey, I'll be in the laughing for you. Oh, crap. Yo, you got to imagine being in a jet

and the freedom you'll have up in the air. No, you're pretty well stuck in there. You're saying to move and flying. I'm telling you just, yo, that's got to be out of this world. Because I can't imagine when Bush was talking about when he's in a spaceship and human beings are normally looking through up to the stars. Well, he was just the opposite.

He was up in the stars looking down through the stars. That's up there. It's got to be a unique... I ain't built for that. Captain Barry Butch Wilmore. Yeah, I ain't built for that, I don't think. I know I'm not. It must be one H of a ride.

One H of a ride, boys. I think it's over before you really have time to enjoy it. I don't think you enjoy that ever. I don't think you ever enjoy that. I enjoy a roller coaster. I don't think I would enjoy that. Let me tell you something. The boys that strap into that, they enjoy that.

Because if you didn't, you wouldn't get in there. That'd be punishment. You ain't going just in the name of science. You're like, you know what? You don't think people believe in science? This is going to be fun. Just in the name of the time. That's one of the things when the guy made it.

You know, one giant step for mankind. A step on one of them rockets that, you know, I don't know what speed they reach. You know, Bush could tell us. But hey, you know, that's bound to be wild. Oh, yeah. I'm out. I'm out. Because I wonder what the Gs are from Lyftoff.

I don't know. 72. All of the rockets that are firing pushing that thing up to the moon. Hey, well, we'll be able to find out, huh? Isn't Elon building a rocket launch? It's not even that much. Really? What is it?

One to four. Ah. Space Mountain. I was wrong earlier. Because it's a straight, it's a straight line. That's why there's not a whole lot of, you don't change direction. You're just sitting there.

Yeah, you're just sitting there taking it. Now, if that sucker turned at any point. Yeah, you got two things, you got a problem. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you're going to die. Yeah, and you're going to pass out from the force, but that'll be better than the concrete here about to smash the end called Ocean. So, you know, yeah, that'd be, yeah.

I like that when Bush was here and he was talking about, well, we had a problem. We had to panic you on right quick of how to fix it. But aren't we going to start launching rockets in Louisiana? That's the rumor. We made another deal with another giant company to come take our land and build something giant on it. Oh, we're going to shoot rockets off of our... Everybody's got opinions. I don't.

What I heard about is he bought all of it. He's using like, what, 15 or 20,000 acres of it, but it's 100 and something. And the rest of it will be open to the public, like public hunting, public fishing. Anything that's not on the site will be public. It'll all be public land. What used to be private ground will then be public. There you go. So I think Elon's trying to be a man for the people on that deal.

Like, hey, we're going to take this big old swath of it. But I'm going to give you this back. Y'all never had that. And we're going to shoot rockets. We're going to shoot rockets. I've always wanted to go to a rocket launch. And now that they're in Louisiana, I believe I will. Well, from the last shot they showed to the moon,

we're already starting to colonize it, bang up there. What? You saw people? No, I'm serious. They just showed one of the old news the other day. Si, six months ago, you didn't believe we landed on the moon, and now you believe we're already colonized that? I'm saying, hey, they're going to make it where it'll be,

you know, like you get in a car coming to Monroe. You'll get in a rocket ship and go where you want to go. I don't think I'd want to do... Technology is going that way. Let's say we do colonize the moon for some reason. Why would you want to go? Buddy, I don't like leaving this country. I ain't leaving this planet.

My dad doesn't have in Washington Parish. Martin said, leaving the planet, I ain't in the equations, boy. The next time I leave this planet, when that rolls called up yonder, buddy. When that trumpet starts... Hey, when it's trumpet and then the dead people start busted out of it. ground. Yeah. Yeah, I'm for that. Yeah, if I'm still alive, I'm going to watch all y'all rise first, but if I'm dead, I'm coming up too, buddy. It don't matter. That's right. Then let's roll. Good answer. Let's go there. The resurrection? But, yeah. Who things I ain't doing, leaving this

planet and jumping out of a perfectly good airplane? Think of all the cemeteries. Neither one of them. Think of all the cemeteries, and then all the casks is busted open. Well, most of them, or some of them. Maybe not even most of them. That's pretty well. I don't know the, Hopefully it's more than we think. Really rooting for it. I'm really rooting for us. I'm really, I'm really rooting that he's a lot more lenient than,

than we may believe he is. So, you know. Well, no, that's a, that's a given. We, we don't understand how much the Trinity loves the human race. Look, we went from nonsensical to real deep, real quick, boy. Hey, there's a wreck. That one right there will pull about three Gs that are. That's going to be some Gs.

A particular set of skills we have. That's one of them turns. Yeah. Y'all ever crapped in an airport? Let me tell you about Jesus Christ in Nazareth and what he did for your eternal soul. Boy, there's some of them in there, they need to hear about him because they didn't sound or smell like they was doing too good.

I hope they knew him. I said, golly. Well, when the plane starts going down, everybody starts getting a little bit religious. Well, no, no, that's why I was in. New York got the Aisist all up excited. Who? Oh, the atheist. Yeah.

Because, yeah. Remember when he said Uncle Si doesn't leave an atheist? Because I told them they didn't exist. Atheist. They're not real. And I said, hey, will you get down to it? You're staring death in the face. You're going to turn somebody and say,

That unknown God. Help me. What else we got? I don't know. We decided to do the AI-led episode and we said airplanes and here we are 40 minutes later. No, but I want to. You talked about Waterburger a while ago.

I heard a story. I want to know if it's true about a lady. I didn't say Waterburger in there. You got naked and stole the horse. Yes, that's it. Hold on. You don't know that she got naked first. Maybe she got naked while she was on the horse.

Yeah, I don't know the story. Maybe she stole the horse and got naked. And then slipped in. As someone who is afraid of horses, I feel like it would be hard to get naked while riding a horse. I can't Google that. Oh. What am I supposed to type in? Naked woman on her.

Right, here I was. That'll take it in some real dark corners of the internet. I found it. I found it. I found it. Okay, please. Fine, fine, fine. You all have been fooled by AI.

The naked woman charged with DUI after stealing police horse gets caught in Waterberger drive through. What do you think the average age was posted by meme of the day, not the actual police? So somebody is just AI. AI is just making stuff for clicks. Now we got AI. I mean, what do you think that? No, for real, though.

Average age of person fool. by AI on the internet. Does AI have that data? Probably. Hold on, you might get fooled. Hunter got super mad at me when I showed that guy getting stealing the giraffe and Australia, it turns out it was shaggy.

That was AI. So I have been fooled. Yeah. Wait a minute. What happened with the giraffe? Somebody made a story up. Oh. I wonder what the most viral.

Did they steal my one to ride a giraffe? Oh, I got plenty of AI pictures. Well, we've seen a lot of size people doing AI on sign. crying at the Oh yeah I've seen him beardless and You know

I need to go to Africa Just so I can ride a giraffe So we should go Something tells me there's somebody In the United States of America That's got a giraffe and a saddle And they'd let you ride it Put it on his neck

At the top That is not where you can ride it Oh no That's a special shovel So he's on his neck Where I can hold his horns They're not horns either.

Hey, they do got two horns on top of the end. Somebody asked me the other day what our podcast is about and I said, you never really know. We've argued a lot of time on where you would ride a giraffe. I mean, you got to ride it

where his neck going to the body, right? Yeah, yeah, you can't climb up there. Okay, but if you were a shirt, hold on, hold on. Where would you wear a tie if you were a giraffe? Where would I wear a tie? Yeah, down here? No, right under my neck. I'm under my chin.

It would be right under her. here. But here's the thing. How long would it be? Well, they all going to look pretty short. When Carter was in the NICU and New Orleans for all that time, we were right beside the New Orleans Zoo and we would go look at the giraffes from outside the New Orleans Zoo because they were tall enough you could see them over the fence.

And that was free. Yeah. And one day, them drafts got to. I like something my cheap self do. Them giraffs got, we did go inside the zoo a couple times, but you could go sit outside and see the giraffes. One time them giraffes got to fighting. Yeah.

You ever seen a giraffe fight? No. They use their head and that big old neck and just whack each other with it. Yep. Look like it hurt. That checks out. I mean, I would too if that's all you got. There's one for you and I bet it's happening.

Uh-oh. South Louisiana. The true Cajun has ridden a gator? He's ridden a gator. No. Get somewhere or just because he was drunk? You cannot domesticate. Absolutely not.

I bet you. I bet you. bet you a million dollars they yeah somebody somebody has rolled a gator and used it as mold of transportation yeah you know what

transporting him straight to heaven well I'm just saying you knew what he was when you got on him hey they rolled one I'm telling you riding an actual gator alligator with a saddle is a dangerous highly discouraged stunt that is not practical or safely done

though people occasionally climb on them for comedic photos for means. Everything you do is dangerous. But you could strap a rope around one of them and let them pull your boat. Yeah, that's true. Be like a dog sled. I don't know what gator poop was like.

You could name your horse gator and then ride him, but that's the only way somebody's putting a saddle. Oh, that's a technicality where he got you for that million. Somebody rode gator. Yeah. The gator. Somebody rode gator. All right, let's get out of here.

I'm ready to go home. Good. Are we good, Hunter? What a time? I'll never know the answer to this, but I'm telling you. I'm 100% positive. Hey, the Cajun has rolled a Gator. I bet we get some emails about that.

What about a very nice Native American? Hey, all y'all out there. Send me an email. I know somebody out there is Roll the Gator. Hello.at.com. If you've wrote a Gator. Not like a bull. for transportation.

Not eight seconds. Not wrestling. You rode it to the store. He lived in the swamp and guess what he rode? His gator to school. He rode his gator to school. That did not happen. Hey, look, they had even had a history route to school.

That was in proverb. They rolled up, he rolled up in the little canal and tied that the gator to the eastern pole, and then he warned everybody. What are you talking about? That's a gator. You're telling the story about the guy. He wanted him all.

Don't fool my gator. He's dangerous. It takes a little bit to get him wound up, buddy, but he's still going. Hey, he's wound. All right, what's our Bible verse? Give me one on this one. I got one. We already mentioned it.

Oh, good. And I don't believe a word you're saying right now, but I believe this with all my heart. Have we discussed my Sophie on your computer yet? That's right. All right. Hit us with it. First, Corinthians, 1552. fun. In a flash in the twinkling of an eye at the last trumpet, the trumpet will sound,

the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. In a twinkling of an eye. Amen and amen. Sophie, you get bored. Don't point at this camera. She's not going to show up here. And hey, what he didn't say there was when that happens, I will be in a glorified body. And I can walk through the brick wall right there. Thank you.