Duck Call Room - Willie Terrorizes Korie in the Shower

Episode Date: February 15, 2022

Willie Robertson tells the story of a mischievous prank he played on Korie early in their marriage. John-David finds out that Willie was shocked by what he left behind in his former Duck Commander office. Willie makes Martin squirm with stories of eel slime, parasites, and lice. Godwin has good reason to think his office furniture is ready for an upgrade. And the boys tackle a fan question about when baptisms can take place. - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, Godwin, what did John the Baptist and Kermit the Frog have in common? I don't know. They both baptized people. Wrong. They have the same middle name. Oh, wow, that is bad. Gobinds at least make you chuckle. The.

The. Why do bicycles fall over? Because they hadn't been baptized. Too tired. See, that's funny. Too tired. Y'all didn't like the John the Baptist one? That one's kind of lame.

I ain't a lot. What's the warmest? Where's the warmest spot in your house? The baptismal. Wrong. The corner. The corner. It's always 90 degrees.

Oh, needs explanation. The joke that needs a little more explanation. Well, Randy, who didn't say where you're from, I'm sorry they didn't like your John the Baptist joke. I liked it. But hey, I got good news, people. We don't have John the Baptist here.

We have Willie the baptizer here. What's it like sitting? next to your friend. He's no longer your boss. He's now your friend. Who said we're a friend? Is that awkward? Is that an awkward situation?

Is the relationship changed now? I miss him. I was so excited when I saw him on the schedule for this podcast. Well, that's awesome. I was excited too. I was excited when you texted me because I realized I had totally forgotten that I was supposed to do the podcast. And then when you text me, I said, oh, crap.

Yeah. Yeah, that is tomorrow. Oh, I was excited to see you. I'm excited. No, the other day, we were at church the other day and we hung out, when I didn't go to church and stood in the lobby for an hour and just talked. That's good. It's just good to catch you.

Wow. I was just wondering if the dynamic feels different since you're sitting beside each other. We're just like two co-workers. Passing in the night. We're just two co-workers on a mission here of this podcast. And, yeah, we used to work together in a closer relationship. But, you know, now we're in different spots. So I think it's good.

There you go. How are you doing? Everybody keeps asking me how you're doing. People keep asking me how you're doing. I'm like, I don't know. I don't work there anymore. Maybe that can be your answer. I don't.

I say, I have no idea. He doesn't work for me. I don't know. We're just friends. I don't know. I'm doing fishing baits. I'm assuming that's awesome. It's been fun.

You sling them. I'm tired. I go to bed earlier. Yeah. What's your work day like now? I get to work later. Then I did here. He's a man-up counter.

Hey, Ty, you get there later? Mm-hmm. Come on. I work till six every. You know, in the Duck Commander days, a slow day, about 3.45, I'm going to slip on out and go fishing or something. I don't, that's gone. Go fishing.

Come on. On a pond. I did see him fishing. He was fishing in my pond. Oh. Did you catch any? No, I think he's a gar. Yeah.

I don't know who was in charge of stocking it. Jay's told, well, no, Jay's told me that day. He said, you know, them Cropi and Willie's Paws don't take him back off. I said, he restocked it last winter. He said, no. I said, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I didn't know that either. Yes, you did. Crap. Yeah. So, your brother's. I got to beat Jay's to it. The brother's back over, your brother's back over there catching all you fish. Yeah, I got to.

Yeah, they've been in there about a year now. I mean, I ain't been over there on them. That's research and development. Willie's a test tank. It's a test tank. My pond is a gar. There's no fish. it.

No, but your dad is fire. Your dad is pretty good. It is on fire. Yeah. We've taken stuff. How is the fishing market? The fishing market? It's good.

It's February, so it better be good. It's picking up. February in the South. That's a good thing. We sell a lot of fishing things. I'm still learning. I don't even know what half of it is. People ask me stuff.

But you can either look like a dummy and lie to them, or you can be like, man, I don't really know. Let's learn together. But the dude that used to, my. The dude that bought the store that started the store, my dad bought it from him, was in there one day. He was like, hey, you don't know how you learn how to fish every bait in here? I said, no, you can't. There's too many.

Like, nobody does that. He goes, no, you just read the back of the package. Oh, nice, nice job hack. Pro tip. Just read the back of the package. Pro tip. They tell you on the package. That's the Bobby.

Bobby Phillips. The devil's in the detail. What have you been up to there, Willie? Oh, man. I've been busy. I've been traveling a lot. I've been gone. I just went to Kansas

and hung out with Mr. LaRoche at his place. And, yeah, I've been moving and shake and teaching a little from the Bible. Full-time granddad. Full-time granddad. Do a lot of Buck Commander stuff. And, yeah, just doing what I do. He's doing what it is.

Working for the man. Here's what I take. I'll tell you. Working for the man. I've seen this boy more in the past month than I've seen him in the past two years. Right. I know. And now I look down and I'm like, man, who's calling me in the month?

Mm-hmm. That's bizarre. Okay, we're back, baby. It's 2012, son. Let's roll. That's what it feels like. Well, I lost my assistant, so I had to, like, get back on the train. I had to learn some stuff.

Have you messed up? Have you messed up? Have you messed up, everything? And I got up here. And I walked in. Everything's being torn down. That's basically fumigating from John David's office. By the way, while we're here, let me just go ahead and...

Uh-oh. Okay. Just get something off my chest. Uh-oh. This is... So, this guy leaves, but he leaves his office. Like, it literally... See, you know what's funny?

I mean, if it were a toilet, I would say you didn't flush. That's what your office looked like when you left. That was all the guys stuff. You know who cleaned up your... Do you know who cleaned it out? I heard. Oh, yeah. You know who's...

And you didn't care, because now you're like, eh, who cares? had to go in there and do something. That was, I took all my stuff. All my stuff was gone. Your cousin, who shared that office with me for a while, still had piles of stuff. Yeah, it was all my stuff. Yeah, most of it was just your stuff that I kept places. So it's on me.

I should have told him right before you left. Hey, bring all my stuff. I didn't know where you wanted that stuff. It had been in there for years. I actually found some really good stuff in there. Oh, he, it was so funny. It was really good. Yeah.

Man, I found some serious. He would find a random thing. He said, ooh, need that. Oh, for sure. Need? That's a strong word. I put it all in my office. Yeah.

I said, what we do with, we loading it on carts and stuff. He said, put that down at the end. I'll come pick it up day by day. So every day he leaves here, he just has a little armful, puts it. Armful of random. But you didn't think about, like, cleaning it up and, like, sweeping up maybe a bit. Acumen. Or was it like, no, now they tore it up.

But I'm saying on the way out, was there any. thought like you know what uh probably should just i thought i did a pretty good job oh my god i will say when we moved that couch the amount of stuff that had gone behind and under was somewhat appalling i mean there were i don't even know i had the word i couldn't breathe it was worse than covid i mean whatever the funk was growing in that place i didn't like that office it was rough i just kind of hung out in that one corner and looked at all the things that were in there and I was afraid of them. Oh, man.

That was a good time. He hung that one on me. Got you. He got me. He got me on that. That was a good one. Tushé. Tushay.

Yeah, you did leave, and then Harry's going to move in your office. And he came down there, he said, this ain't going to work. So now they're tearing up the floors in our office. I did finally get a solid ceiling in my office. I've had them holes in that thing for a while. I just dealt with it. I was like, yeah, you know, it was fine. There's holes all in the ceiling.

It's a new day, boys. Yeah, y'all remodel. I need a new chair. Yeah. There's a big remodel happen. You need a new chair? There was one in my office. I left that.

I don't know if that's in the budget or not. Harry picked out some expensive floors in there, so. Here's what you don't do. I've been sitting in that brown chair since it was down at field. You don't let your controller be in charge of the remodel budget. Because he knows exactly how much we got. That's right. else scared to spend money, but Harry knows exactly how much we...

The CPA knows exactly how much funds we have. Yeah. So you're telling me to get a pillar? You're probably going to want to. Or just some kind of mild lift kit. Maybe put you some blocks under it or something, I'm not sure. What's happening to it? It's just falling?

It's just, you know, I've been sitting in it for 20 years. It should be conformed to your butt. It is, all the way down to the wood. You try holding him for 20 years. years and see what kind of shape you're in. He's tired. There's nothing wrong with that chair. It's just tired.

It's too tired. That chair just, that chair groans. Y'allvin, y'all've had a little fun down there since wintertime hit, ain't you? You've had some office companions? Wow. What? Wow. This is Kurt Lively?

Wow. Wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. When this last cold snap hit, apparently all the food on the outside was gone, and little field mice moved in. Oh, they did. We got a mice problem again?

Not anymore. Not anymore. In this office? No, the one warehouse down the street. Oh. Because that baseball team keeps it so warm in there. So, you know, they come in there, buddy, everywhere. Well, all that Victor dog food was in there.

Dude, I'm sitting in my house the other night, and I look down in this mouse, not only did he, like, I thought we had a deal. Like, Mike's come out when you see him, then they run off. Oh, this guy's like, what are you looking at? I dare you. I dare you. I just looking at me like, and I'm looking at him. I'm like, really? And he, so he scurries under the thing, and I'm like, I'm fixing to get that.

He comes back out. Just chins up on me. at me like you're still there i'm like yeah i'm still here well you ain't going to the kitchen well then i said all right little buddy you're gonna you're gonna be running one day or night and all of a sudden you're gonna hit something and you're not gonna be able to move and then you're gonna realize yeah come he put a sticky thing out and i can't move my feet anymore do not see i've had so i've had so many my they hit it man they've been roving It's been a plague of them since this last cold snap.

I don't know. But it's all the little ones. It's all the little field mice. It's not, no, be it to big cotton rats. We got them. We got them. Living at you mom and dad. Yeah, whatever.

Whatever. That's squirrel. Yeah. I'm going to buy a, I'm going to get me a pet chicken snake for my living room so that it'll eat the mic. There you go. That'll go over well. Why not?

Hey, it's better than a cat. When we come back from this first break, will you tell the story about when you threw a snake on your wife? I love that. Let's take a break and do that. That's a good one. All right, look, springtime is here. It's warming up.

You know what that means? That means more outside cooking. And y'all know we love to eat beef around here. And that's what because of our friends over at Triedells beef makes such a good product, baby. Ain't it good? It's so good. Our friend, Sao Robertson would say, buy on the grill! Look, before we got Triedales, getting ready for a cookout, man, somebody had to run the grocery store, do all the things, grab whatever was.

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for a living, you can taste the difference. The tenderness and the flavor are fantastic. So if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season, go check out Triedails beef. I know in size case, Christine loves it, which is just a, she doesn't eat meat. She isn't a big meat easier, folks. Yeah. Just go to trybeef.com slash. That's trybeef.com slash support ranch families and eat some dang good steak. So you were brave enough or dumb enough or I don't really know the correct term to throw a snake on Corey? Well, technically, I threw it in the vicinity. So this was about year two of marriage. And they've made it.

Just remember that, folks. So I was in the yard doing some yard work and I come across a little king snake. but it was a smallish king snake. So I picked it up, I took it in the house, I was going to show it off. And my wife was taking a shower. And then sometimes in life, opportunity pops up. And I'm like, how funny would this be? So I just go in there.

And we have like the curtain, you know, that hangs. And so I just threw it over the top and then scurried out. And I mean, it was the funniest. The noises. Oh, the shower cart gets ripped off, and she was not happy. Oh, so you didn't only throw it on her. You threw it on her in the shower. In the shower.

Wow. Does she know that you did that? Well, I think she assumed. I don't know how many people were bouncing in there when she's in the shower. Oh, man. It was just me and the snake. Man, I thought what I did to Brittany last year was bad with a snake, but that ain't nothing, no. I just knew we have a garter snake.

naked lives in our flyer bed. He lives in the little, the sprinkler cap thing, the irrigation control. Well, I knew he's in there because I took it off to turn my sprinklers on. And he just stayed. So the next day I said, hey, I can't get this cap off. You've got small fingers. You come in here and get that thing? Uh-uh.

And when she stuck her finger in that sprinkler cap, it just, he came up there to lick her finger. Oh. Buddy? Gone. That Tennessee Hill, Billy, was just jetting across my yard. Down the road. I'm talking about, and she said,

there's something in there. I thought, no, what are you talking about? You know, I said, look, there ain't nothing in there. When I popped it off, he just sitting there smiling at I,

I couldn't, I couldn't control it. I started dying laughing. You know, do that snake jokes. Huh? I never. Well, it's a harmless snake.

It's a garter snake. He ain't going to do nothing, what's he going to do, I mean? He just come up there give her a little kiss on a finger. And I'm proud to report he's still there this year,

so nothing snuffed him out in a year. You can go there right now and go pet him if you want to. Well, we used to have a box that covered up the cutoff valve. And so every time you open this thing, there was a Black Widow spider. I mean... I don't want them as a pet. Money.

And so I was telling this older guy about this spider. And I said, I'm going to tell you, I'm going to open this up. And there's going to be a Black Widow spider. I don't care. How many I killed? They always came back. So I opened it up, and there was no spider. And I thought, Dad, Gunn, there's always a spider.

and I kid you not, when I looked down, I saw her crawling inside of my pants at the bottom. Oh, no. I saw the spider go up. I'm going to tell you, I was standing there in my underwear in about three seconds, and here's the crazy thing. I never did find the spider. Like, I'm just standing there in my underwear and saw, I mean,

shoes are off. I don't know where that thing went, but it disappeared. I saw it go inside the pants leg. And then you shed said pants leg. I shed it past because I thought, I mean, I got so much room for that thing. You look like one of them basketball players coming off the bench, didn't you? Yeah.

Just got them breeches that just rip off. What if I would have seen it? Oh, you'd have felt him eventually. You imagine that just dough popping you up in the inner thigh region? Oh, right below the nether region. Yeah, that's a bad deal there. I don't know that I've ever been bit by a spider That's where all small insects end up for whatever reason

So you know that's where she'd have got you Oh yeah Most of them end up in your mouth like when you're sleeping Yeah Like don't we eat like 1,000 spiders in our lifetime? I've heard that Something like that Yeah

Especially if you're a mouth breather I'm glad they're not fattening I think my favorite snake was when Phil Chopped the copperhead So he took a shove when he hit a copperhead There's probably four inches of snake. Then he throws it at the dog.

Don't ask me why. And the dog gets bitten by the piece of the snake. I remember that. That's old Jesse, wasn't it? Yeah. That was old Jesse. Yeah. Jesse's been snake bed like 50 times.

Oh, yeah. Because he couldn't stand it. He couldn't stand to see a snake and kill it. He had to kill every snake he run across. A little rat terrier. Oh, it was so funny to watch. He'd throw that thing 10 foot up in a half. Just throw him up until it ceased to move.

And then he's like, no, I'm good with it now. Everything's good. It was. My dog doesn't. Them dogs down there. The upper head. Boy, I remember I was walking like on the kitchen side that, remember that, what do you call them things?

It was two steps going into the porch at Cays. And she used to have that little old. Oh, a little oning coming off there, yeah. Yeah, I got you. But the two steps, and there was a piece of around, like a telephone pole laid there. And it was a crack. It was a little crack between. Oh, okay.

That's the worst explanation of that. I've never heard of my life. But, yeah, okay, I know now. Oh, he's talking about the arbor thing. The two concrete steps, there's an arbor. The concrete steps roll into, yeah, it's actually a telephone pole. Yeah, I built all that. We built that?

But the crack, yeah, the crack was like Snake City. I guarantee you. That's where they come in and out. I went to step up on that thing one time, and I bet you I did a backflip. Man, there was a copperhead in there. I know, and that's where the copperheads lived. It's crazy. That's where Phil cut the snake into you.

Yeah, right down there. Why did you feel the crack in? They finally did, because Johanna, she's seen one, too, and she got it. We'd clean. He said, fell it in. Fill it in. Fill it in, boys. It ain't terrible, boys.

Snake. Guy, how many back flips have you done in your life? Now that you brought that up, I'm just... I used to do them all the time. Did you? You were the kid that would do flip, like just the guy that would do a flip. Yeah. I always wanted to be...

Carr and do a flip. When he was little God, when his parents would put a donut behind him, and he would do a backflip, that's how they trained him. And the flying flea was born. When he did that, yeah, when he did that... Me doing back. When he did the back flip, he would grab that donut in his mouth. That was good.

There's always that kid, though, that just standing there and all of a sudden pops a flip. Oh, yeah. They were always the coolest kid. And the one that couldn't stand to stay off the trampoline. I was skinny until I started working for a duck commander. That's true. Yeah, that's true. What happened?

This case cooking is a dang good. You can't get away from the table. When's the last time you worked down at Kay's? It's been a while, but. You know? I mean, I just would have thought. Once he left, Cays, I would have thought that it would have shed off. Yeah, I'm just saying, I'm using your logic.

Didn't work. Didn't work, boys. It don't go to same in averse as it does forward. Yeah, I know. I was working with that. Take some time. It's still going down. So, speaking of snakes, I was, so we used to have a, we put a wire box out there in the water.

So we'd catch our perch and we'd throw them in the wire box to bait the trot lines. A live well, if you would. It was a live, yeah, very amateur live whale. That's a nice live whale. So what happened was the snakes would get in there to eat the perch. Well, then they were kind of in the basket. So I went down there. There's a giant, I mean a giant water snake.

And so I shot him like with a 410. He had, I remember he had a BB hole in his head, blood coming out of his head, picked him up, towed him all the way back up to the cook shack. I threw him in the freezer where we stacked all our meat for the crawfish trouts. So we had everything in there. All crap. All kind of animals. Raccoon, possum.

Stuff, yeah. Whatever was laying on the side. What we found on the road. Yeah. And I was the chop man. On this day, I'd actually, I was a chop man, but I was also bringing in meat. So I just threw him in there. I'll go down a little bit later to chop up some meat for the crawfish traps.

And I grabbed that snake and he literally turned up and, like, reared back, ready to bite me. Wow. I carried him all the way from the river up there. He had a hole in his head, put him in the freezer, and then when I grabbed, he just coaled back up. Oh, they're the devil. Literally, that's where they came back.

Unfortunately, from him, I had the cleaver. I was already in chop mode anyway. So he just got a quick body chop, but he was still alive. No, see. I hate it. We'd never be able to talk about this if I was here. Oh, no. He threatened to shoot every one of us.

He don't like snakes. But he's not here. The boss is here. Snakes don't scare me. And I, man, my cheeks hurt I've been laughing so much already. Let's take another break. We'll be back right after this. Hey, listen to this.

I was running from a pack of wolves. Hey, we made it 105 episodes before he ever told that story. Really? Because he couldn't get off of no legs. Yeah. Speaking of crawfish tracks. So, yeah, we were crawfish fishermen for a while. So we'd run them, we'd get all the crawfish.

And then we would take them to the store. There's no way people, you're not going to believe this. We would go into the grocery store, sell them to the grocery store, and then we would dump them in a boat. And they had it at the grocery store. Live crawfish. That live crawfish. At the groceries at Super 1, where Uncle Joe is, that store.

I worked there for a year. That specific store. And we would dump them in there. So when you went and bought crawfish, you went in like, put them in your thing, weighed them and paid them for them at the... Oh, that was a thing. They was just like potatoes and corn and everything else. And we were one of the suppliers, so we were supplying them with crawfish.

That's awesome. And now Johnny Dee's weigh them inters every day. That's right. That's how it happened. It's old half a pound right before I came here. So we were, so like I said earlier, we were in charge of feeding. Phil had no concept of buying food to put in these things. So we would, a crawfish will eat anything, right?

I mean, it's crawfish season now. That's always been the most fascinating. So that's what you were talking about. Y'all just feel up roadkill. Yeah, he would just say, we need more food. And so me and Jace drive them down the road looking for something dead. I mean, if it was like super turned, like awfully smelly, we wouldn't pick it up. But if it was, you know, around the edge, we would throw that in the back of the truck and chop it.

So I'm chopping up. You hold your nose and go. Oh, like dogs and cats and like, oh, birds. I mean, whatever was in the road past. away already. All right. So don't get all sentimental. But so.

Life was a lot tougher back then. So we're throwing anything in this deal. So we're chopping up stuff. And you just need a little honk, you know. And so we'd go run the trouts. We'll run the troughs. We'll run the troughs probably the funnest because you, so you pick it up, sometimes you have a ton of crawfish.

But I mean, everything gets in these traps. So there were snakes all the time. Like you'd grab that thing and there'd be two. Them diamond bat water snakes. Oh. You can't get your hands. out of there for you get bed either. They're so mean.

That's what, yeah, that's what, come alive in the freezer. So, uh, I pulled it up one time and I have a green river eel. Oh, yeah. So a good size river eel. So we, so we're like, what is that?

So we dumped it out and it's splash around the boat. And so now, I don't know why I did what I did. I, so feel like when he had the duck, you would bite the back of this head and like that's how you put it away. So I decided I was going to bite this eel's head to see if I could like kill it with mouth. Some kind of write a passage thing.

I guess it's a team. So you're underwrite. Who's a man? Like, let's go. I'm not. It's me against the eel and my teeth. That just put such a foul taste and texture in my mouth, just hearing that. Oh, it's bad.

It's really bad. So I got my teeth on this thing and I'm squeaked. reason like literally all I got and I am not puncturing this skin. In fact, it's impossible, I think, to puncture an eel skin with your human teeth. So I abandoned the mission, but what happened was the slime got stuck in my teeth. So every, all my teeth had eel slime stuck in, I mean for a while. Like I could not get the taste out of my mouth. So I'm just saying, if you're out there listening, And if you happen to come upon a river eel, do not try to bite its head thinking you were... How did you hold that sucker to get him close enough?

I had it with both hands, like, I had it with both hands, like, in a vice grip. Those things are like a rubber bar of soap. I mean, you can't hold them things. Wow, that's incredible. I'm most impressed you held him. Forget trying to bite him. That's just dumb, but... How old were you?

I hope 12. I was 17. Yeah. You married like six months later? That may have been his bachelor trip. Hey, that's one of the stories she heard that thought, then she thought that's the kind of guy I need. That's a guy who take a chance.

If he'll buy it out. A guy who's trying to prove something. He's hungry. In fact, she looked at me and said, this guy's going somewhere. Who else would try that? Did you get it out of your teeth before the wedding? Well, that goes along with her.

How she do. Oh. Corey looked and said, man, that's just like my dad and my brother. That's what I mean. Sadly, you can't really appreciate that story unless you've picked up on them slimy rascals. Or at least tried to. Every time he grab him, he just goes further and you just... That man, ate an eel.

You can't catch up with him. That's where it started. I kept hitting him with the boat paddle, but he kept sliding off. Yeah. And he kind of made mad. I'm like, okay. Okay. Watch it.

I'm about face to face, me and you, me and the River Hill. I mean, he was making, like, he was making noises. is like, I mean, I was hurting him. He's down there in that river right now telling a whole different version of this story. So, boys, you go up there. Something got me. And that sucker tried to bite me, and all I did was kept sliming him. Y'all just keep all, remember when in doubt, keep slimy.

Are they, like, spewing slime out of their body? Yeah, pretty much. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. It was all in my mouth. That's their defense mechanism is to secrete slime. So, I mean, it's like, that's terrible. See, John D.

Can you imagine? You realize how proud your wife would be if you had some cool story like that? Well, when I was eight, I bit a stretch Armstrong. Remember those? Mm-hmm. In half? It was gross. But it was more like...

Was that when you were laying your king-sized bed in your old room? Queen! And it was more chemically than it was nature's slime. But it stuck with me for a while. Never bite a stretch Armstrong. No good? Oh, hey. It wasn't good, huh?

I'd have never believed it. It's something you could stretch from here to that door. It wasn't no good. I never believed it. It got so dead. They'd have a little taste. I said, I wonder what happened if I just bit its arm in half. And now David's stories.

That's why, like, rich people's, like, rich kid's stories, you can't really, because he's like his biggest thing he ever did was that time he slept without the, the case on the pillow, you know, he's like, I just, I blayed my head on it. It didn't even have the pillow case on it. It was crazy. Meanwhile, Willie was like, hey, I was sleeping in a laundry room. I'm like, did your pillow smell like urine? No. I'm like, well, number one, every pillow we had smelled like pee.

Oh. Sorry that. And had duck lights up. Hey, here's the deal. We both wet the bed, but I had a nose spray to make me stop. That's the difference between me. What? I did a nose spray every night before bed, so I wouldn't wet to bed. My mom put on plastic sheet. I've never heard of that. We had nose spray. I also never had a worm or cockroach crawl in my ear while I was sleeping. Did you ever get worms?

Did you have to do the deworming pill? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, time out. I had some. That's got to be another. No, time out. Let's take a break. We're talking about deworming. Who here was dewormmed?

Just think about it. We'll find that out in here in about 20 seconds. So what you're telling me is you were taking ivermectin before it was cool. That's right. I mean, that's what you deworm stuff with is ivermectin. Does it make your mouth red? Oh, I don't. These pills made your teeth red, tongue red.

Everything was red, and it was dewormer. Mine was purple. But the beauty of the internet is, is I think I can Google. I want to know somebody out there, surely somebody from Missouri or Northern Arkansas, was dewormed as a child. You were dewormed with a purple? It was purple. This one was red.

And it was the most nastiest. Oh, this was awful. You just about throw up trying to get it down. But did you have worms? Like, I was full of worms. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

You were. Something. My head was full of. Yeah. What were you doing? How did you find? If you had put up out, I don't want to get. Is that the worms?

Is that why it's bred into humans? Like when you take a dump, you stand up, you look at it? Yeah. You're checking for worms. When it moves about six inches after you've done it, yeah, you got worms. So it was swimming. Yeah. Oh.

Oh, my. Is this like, is I my only one? Oh, my. I had pillow cases. I don't know. I want to hear these emails. I don't know. I know there's other people.

Yeah, and then we'd have to take the worm pills. So what all parasites did you have as a kid? You had worms? No, y'all had a lice problem there for a while. Oh, we had, lice was like. They just lived there? Lice was like Friday. That's why Phil cut our hair.

He just took the clippers and shaved that mess off. He's like, all right, boys, somebody's got a lice. Everybody line up. Everybody got a buzz. Wow. So this is not how it went down up in the, when you were in the... No, not on the street. Not on the street you live on, sir.

You had your monogrammed initials on your door as you walked in this one. Wait, no, I had Dan Marley on my door back here. Oh, my goodness. So you confirmed had worms and lice. Yeah, worms for sure. Oh, lice. Yeah. All the time.

That's crazy. I ain't ever... Did you ever have a lice all the time? Uh, hmm. I obviously don't have a very hospitable environment for Lice up there. Lice don't survive on the moon. Yeah. Yeah, then I had the roach.

Yeah, I had a roach crawl in my ear, hit my eardrum. That's not fun. And didn't your dad, like, pour syrup in your ears? I'm screaming. I don't, I can't see anything. All I know is my head feels like it's fixing to explode. And so dad's like, mom, like, what's wrong with him?

And I can't even, I can't keep my head straight. You don't be quiet. I'm on whoop. Well, it was all that. Then he was all that. Then he was like, okay, he's actually really hurt. And then so he turns my head to the side and he starts pouring something. I don't know what he's pouring in there. Well, it's the cure-all of cure-alls, camphophonite.

Yep. He just pours it in my ear. Yep. And what happened with, everything just got, it didn't like make the pain go away. exactly but everything's got slower and so I'm like it still hurts and so finally Phil says take him to the hospital I don't know what's wrong

with him so we go up there and the dude looks in my ear and he goes it's a giant ball of wax and I'm like oh that's embarrassing but I'm like why does this hurt so why would wax hurt that bad and then he said wait a minute it's got hair and I'm like huh

and he said it's got wings and we say it's got wings I'm like hang on and he goes it's alive and so now we know something is living in my ear so from we went from wax to hairball to flying hairball he didn't he was just seeing this so he reached in these tweezers and he grabs a hold it what it was is a water roach and it had literally oh one and big it yeah and he crawled out my ear and just disappeared like star track two and so he reaches in with these tweezers and he starts pulling that sucker out. And I'm going to tell you something. When something is coming out of your earhole,

you've never felt pressure. I mean, it feels like your head's fishing to explode. So I'm screaming, and then it just went, pop, and he pops that thing out. Immediate, right. Yeah, and then he, but for an hour, he had to dig out legs and wings, I mean, whatever else fell off in my ear. Ah, from the struggle. Because I left the door open. and I left my light on, so I'm sleeping like mouth open. I've got no telling how many insects crawling on top of me. Oh, that's four inches from crawling in your mouth. That'd have been a way better path.

That's two inches of a day. I just 80 minutes. Yeah. You don't want him going in your ear, especially because I didn't know he was in. I didn't know what, I didn't know what was. I mean, I thought I was. You can't check your ear. No.

That's most of you. So Phil, when he poured the Campofanique in my ear, it kind of like drowned him a little bit. Like he still. No kind of movie. Yeah, but he's like, now he's got all this liquid. I know what you're talking about, because when we filmed that Redneck Water Park thing for Duck Dynasty, they had us go off that stupid rope swing.

Yeah. Well, the mature athlete I am landed on my side. The mature. And I did. I knocked, apparently I had a bunch of old ear wax or something in my ear, and I knocked a big wax plug in my ear, so I'm like, oh, God, oh, God, this hurts. I mean, it was terrible. You said, I got water mirror.

I can't get it out. I couldn't get it out. I could never get it out. And so I went to the doctor next day. And the way they got that thing out, he just shot more water up in there behind it to get it out. Yeah, that's what they shoot water, yeah. And when he put, when he put that pressure on the inside of my ear,

I thought I was going to pass out. I was like, I mean, I just, it, it, like paralyzed me. I was like, oh, but then as soon as that wall, that ball come out, everything was good. Yeah, that's the way it was. Yeah. I asked him, I said, what was that from? He said, that's from him stupid foam, rubber earplugs, you wear a duck cut. Really?

He said, every time you squeeze them and put them in there, you're just pushing more wax. Ask, you know, whatever doesn't get cleaned out naturally. You just, he says, so don't wear them. Get off of them. Wear muffs. Where these new custom fit things they're making and all that. Yeah, but, I mean, that was even before Tetcher. That was 2013 probably when we filmed that episode.

I never had an earwax problem. I hope you don't, buddy. You ever had any ear problem? No. What's your biggest problem? Your knee brought you some strife for a while. My knee, yeah. It's cholesterol.

Clestrol. No? Not cholesterol. I ain't that bad cholesterol? Really? He's fine, man. You may want to check that. I am.

I did on my way in. I was running a little low. That's why I ate that burger when I got here. I was homes, boy Well, Johnny did tell me about Tales from the neighborhood That one Our neighborhood?

Yeah, your neighborhood You live in that neighborhood Oh, he built that neighborhood Hey Oh, easy Easy Another man built that neighborhood Easy

I knew I'd get him stirred up Hey, watch it I don't know, there's nothing really happy I don't I just go to work and go to bed now No, I'm saying when you were a kid Like we're telling like roaches in our ears and biting, eating river eels. I just want to hear like neighborhood story.

Like, you moved into that neighborhood when I was like six. No. We're not telling me. We're talking about me. Like, tell me like some crazy stories. What's the craziest thing that happened? On that road. Or put dishwashing liquid in somebody's fountain or something.

Oh, do you do that? Oh, we're telling stories out of school here. Okay. So I lived, there's a, the Robertsons, if you saw Duck Dynasty, I'll live on the end of the street, but there's one old angry man and a wild child that lived on the very end of the street that you didn't see much, and it'd be me and my father. Well, I was in for, I don't remember what it was, but it was like, I think it was Christmas Day. And I was bored and I was in high school, so I got a whole thing, a Don dishoke, got on my bike,

rode to somebody's house. I'll go ahead and say it. It's fine. They say missy. They don't listen. Oh. And I put. Yeah, that's for show.

I put a full gallon of don't dish detergent in that fountain there. Oh, it was hot. Really? The whole yard was just foamed. So then you killed all their grass, too. Oh, yeah. All of them. Oh.

It actually tore some stuff up, so I never really, like, admitted to it. You have now, though. Oh, yeah. Well, you know. Statute of limitations doesn't run up there. That's right. That's right. Yeah.

In high school, we ran around and basically broke. people's fountains for fun and would cause just the most giant bubble. You wasn't one of them people rode around hitting mailboxes and crap like that was. No, I never hit a mouth. Oh, I did. Did you? Oh, yeah. Really?

Did you? Man, those people make me mad. You hit mailboxes? Oh, yeah. That's a federal crime. A fountain? Well, I don't do. I'm cured of that now, but that was BC?

Yeah, before Christ. Yeah. Yeah. I just wonder. I probably caused a lot of damage and fountain plumbing issues. But good for the plumbers. I didn't live.

Made me laugh. Where I live, we didn't have no fountains. Neighbors just got one a few years ago, though. That's the first fountain on that street. I'm telling you, it's funny. It's neighborhood. See, that's what I said. There's surely.

Don't. Yeah, we didn't have. The only fountains we had were whenever we were out, sticking out the back of the door, pee in. Yeah, having a contest. Had natural fountains. We went out. Drawing a line, see if you could out do the day before.

We would go over to Monroe to the fancy neighborhood. and really get after it, though. Just all of them. Godly. He was a pump. Well, let's take our last break. We'll get in that inbox when we get back. Hello at dot callroom.com is the email address.

If you have more questions for Willie or anything like that, shoot them over after this episode. And the next time he's in, we'll archive him and have them for him. What you got in there? I got a couple. Hey, actually, let me just say this. If anybody did have worms, I want sigh to comment because I know he. he had worms. He probably still has worms. So I'm going to yield my time for worm stuff to side.

I don't want to talk about his worm history as well. As much as the boy can eat, he found to have a tape worm of some sort. Wormy. A lot of worms in there. All right. We've had, oh, good grief. Worms. So look, we're going to go serious. Because Willie, what's your favorite thing? Tell me.

What's my favorite thing? Pizza. that you do that I do starts with an E E V can I buy a V

yes can I buy an A Yes he even knows how to spell evangelism So Willie's super into Telling people who don't believe In Jesus About Jesus

Right And he's super in a one day Maybe you will be too That's my hope for you Johnny T And And he's super into baptism So I got a couple

That I was like Man this would be good if Willie came on, and then this week he's on. So we're going to go straight to it. Josh from La Crosse, Wisconsin. There's a lot of fish up there. Is there? It's your way.

It's the birthplace of La Crosse, too. All right. Yeah. Little known facts. All right. So he's got two questions. The first one, why was Christine not on Duck Dynasty? She didn't want to be.

Problem solved. Number two. She was tired of. Now, I think if you live with Si, and then the thought of going to be. and being with him all day. She's like, no, I'm good. I deal with him from when he gets home.

I best think Christine got out of Duck Dynasty was so legit how they four times. Yeah, for real. Like, yeah. Because when he was still. That's just my opinion. I don't know. I won't speak for, ain't Christine.

All right. So this one is kind of serious and we need a little context. He's 39 years old. Has never been a godly man. Okay. He does believe in a creator, just not Christianity.

My parents always told me I could believe what I wanted to do. believe. They told me to respect, they would respect my choice. My mom believes in the Almighty, but does not attend church. And my dad grew up a Jehovah Witness. Don't get me wrong. I have so much respect for someone who teaches the gospel. When I do go to church, it's usually Christmas. I always give full attention. Bah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Most people I've met who are godly don't have the weight on the shoulders of what's next all around their lives because they're better because of it. So I've chosen, he's chosen to raise his children the same way and letting them

believe what they want to believe. She has a 13 year old and 18 year old. And within the past year year old, the 13 year old starting to go to church service on Wednesday nights and go into Bible camp with her cousin for the past few years. Here's the question. How do I approach the subject when she has questions about God? I want to be respectful in her beliefs, but I need to stay true to myself. Don't get me wrong. I really do want to believe in the almighty, but I just don't. I suppose I could tell her that I do believe, but I would just be lying to myself and her. Josh.

Maybe the greatest lie you ever told. Wow. Josh. Heavy. That is. Well, I mean, what's, you know, I've heard a lot of stories. This is like a lot of them in one. So, because we've got some who believe in the.

Almighty, don't go to church, Jehovah, we got a whole, we got all kind of things going. One is this whole idea that your parents told you can believe what you want to believe. Here's a news flash. You can believe whatever you want to believe, whether your parents tell you, whether they don't. You know, belief is belief, which is another thing. I was actually thinking about this morning. If you say you don't believe in Jesus, I would actually say, do you do not believe he was even on earth, I would assume the answer would be, yeah, no, I think he was on earth.

You just don't believe that he was who he said he was, and so that he's not God. So I'm assuming, because it seems like there is a belief in something that was created. And so I think for your child, I would, I mean, me personally, I would certainly hope that they would find a faith and can believe in something bigger than what they're seeing on this planet. I don't think you should be the one to teach or say that you shouldn't be just honest. I mean, if you don't believe it, just say, I don't believe it. But the others actually, you probably should read. You may should read the New Testament and read what it actually says.

And so then even if you didn't believe, at least you could share that conversation with your kids and say, well, hey, I read it and here's what I'm seeing. And if you deduct a non-belief there, then that's one way to go through this life. I was telling a friend the other day, I don't know how people do go through life without any faith in anything. It just seems like it's a big luck of the draw. And I would just be like panic going, that would be miserable.

So I'm going to choose to believe. And I would, if I sat with you, we'd probably talk for 30 minutes about kind of where all this came from. But I choose to believe. But because I've read the New Testament, and it makes a lot more sense to me than anything else I've seen as far as what we believe in. So that's a, that was a hard one to unpack. Yeah.

Well, I was going to do the full. It needs to be a month. That was going to be a whole segment, I thought we could do that. But we got into worms. Good answer. All right. You got a short one. Ooh, maybe.

Goes long. Goes long. We're talking about Jesus. Deal with it. Michelle from West Virginia emails in. And this one's kind of heavy as well. But I think Willie's going to have a great answer. to it and I saved it for him just because she has a 13 year old who's been asking about baptism

and if he needs to be baptized to be saved he spoke with a pastor at a local church who said that he would get him baptized as soon as he scheduled it with the local church that probably answers your question Michelle but we'll get to it as this church this preacher is located doesn't have a way to perform them in his church that was last year they ain't scheduled once in a see you. So she's afraid that her son will lose interest. She also, and I just want to thank you for, she's an ER nurse. Hats off to you, ma'am. Absolutely. She works very hard. She feels like she's being a bad mom because she works so hard, but that's a tough place to be in and don't beat yourself up. He has a wonderful father, her husband, but he's not saved. So I guess what I'm asking is,

can people only be baptized on Sundays? Because that seems to be the consistent consensus here in Fayette, County, West Virginia. Golly. All righty then. I don't remember what day I obeyed the gospel, what day of the week. But I guess it was typically Monday because it was the last day of duck season, but it was at 1 o'clock in the morning. I like how you said typically whenever it was, you've only been baptized.

But you're like, typically that was. Typically I would do that. like one in the morning, but... No, he's saying he got baptized on the last day of duck season, but it was like one in the morning. I didn't know. It was Sunday, so I guess it was Monday. Okay.

Let me... By the way, we count time. I'll just, before we get involved with this, I'm going to let this man answer because he's very astute in this part. I've been a part of several baptisms with this guy right here. Ain't nary a one of them happened on a Sunday. Really? No.

I've seen a couple on a Sunday. No. It was always at your house at between the hours of 10 p.m. and 2 a.m. And we found the first thing of water we could find, whether it was. I was baptized twice, and the one on the Sunday didn't take. I'm just going to throw that out there. He just got wet. The second one is a redo.

No rerun. Okay. So let me answer this question. I'm not a Bible scholar, but I have read these things a few times. And so I would say this. There is no day of the week. The jailer comes to mind in the book of Acts where I remember the guys were in jail. The jail busted open.

They were going to leave. They didn't. He was going to kill himself. And then they went to his house. It says at that hour of the night, the jailer and his whole family were baptized. And so probably wasn't a Sunday. And so, yeah, this can be any time whenever the person is ready. There's no schedule needed for a child.

church or a pastor, that's not in the New Testament. So yeah, whenever this person's ready, this is your son at 13. Now, I would just, you know, I would just say the person needs to know exactly what they're doing. And so if you're worried about them losing interest, I wouldn't worry about that. If they lose interest, don't, they don't need to get baptized because this is not something that you're interested in for a second. And then later on, you're not interested. You can read Luke chapter 14, the cost of being a disciple where Jesus is pretty clear about what it's going to take to follow him. I would put it in our terms as saying if my wife, if I was like, if I don't ask her to marry me right now, she's liable to lose interest next month. And well, if that's the case,

we probably shouldn't get married. So if your son is ready to make Jesus the Lord of his life and he is going to confess he will be Lord of his life and repent of his sins. And when that time is ready, he should be baptized. But if there's any flakiness or uncertainty, then just wait, wait until that person is ready to go. And then at that point, I wouldn't wait on anybody to schedule anything because that's never, that was never using the New Testament. So, yeah, that answers that. Hey, and mom, don't be afraid to do it yourself. Yeah.

It ain't got to be a preacher. You are perfectly qualified to go baptize your son. It's just, yeah. You are absolutely 100. Baptism simply means to dip into water. And so now what spiritually happens, you can read Romans 6 1 through 4. That's what spiritually happens when you're baptized. So, but as far as times and dates, yeah, when, in the book of Acts, when someone heard the gospel, or they had this encounter with Jesus like Saul did.

you know, who became Paul, who wrote half the New Testament, he encounters Jesus, he falls down, he's blinded for three days, he goes into the city, he finds Anonias, and he says, you know, I need to know what to do, and so he said he was baptized right there. And so that's when he did it, and then he immediately started teaching others and getting after it. So, yeah, usually that's the deal. they hear the gospel and then they're they're baptized Acts chapter two when they heard the gospel they said what must we do and Peter says repent be baptized so those are immediate that's immediately when it's happening so yeah don't get hung up on the days of the week and all that and that's all just

kind of Americanized stuff that we've that we've done and so we certainly want your son to know what he's doing it for which is actually Jesus and the good news amen well boss thank you for coming in You want me to rob us up? Send us out of here, buddy. Maybe Willie said seven. Stop drawing on me. Never changes. Roman six, he just mentioned it.

We're going to go one through four. What shall we say then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means, Johnny Dey. By no means, exclamation point. We are those who have died to sin. How can we live in it any longer? Or don't you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death?

we were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that just as christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the father we too may live a new life and that was the life we were talking about for your son that new life and that's what we're looking for by the way i was reading he was not uh amen that's what that's one uh no by heart for sure boss thank you for coming in come back anytime you want to we're out we'll see y'all next time right here in a duck call room.