Dumb Blonde - #71 Dumb Blonde: Manager Meme - Mental Health Check

Episode Date: November 11, 2020

Manager Meme is back and gives us the exciting news of the birth of her beautiful baby boy, Cash Michael! She gives us an update on her mental health and how she is coping with the roller coaster of emotions that come with being a new mother. Meme and Bunnie also talk about spiritual attacks, the benefits of finding a good therapist, and how genetics play a crazy role in how we can feel.  Manager Meme Shahan instagram: @Shearly.sinfull Bunnie linker.ee/Bunniexo Watch Full Episodes & More: www.dumbblondeunrated.com "It wasn't a piece of shrimp, it was a piece of me." - MemeSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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What's up, you sexy motherfuckers? to another episode of dumb blonde and me and lou is in the house and she is not pregnant no more god lee that was like the longest fucking pregnancy ever like a year of pregnancy please don't do that to me again we're done i feel like i literally feel like i had that kid. Yeah. Like it was crazy. I still haven't got to meet him yet though. I know. It's a stupid Rona too. Like I just get so scared taking him out.

He's so little and now RSVs in season is just really sucks, but he's such a sweet boy. Tell us about the Jason story while during your birth. Oh my gosh. Okay. So, uh, Jason doesn't do well with blood, which i found this out one time in our marriage before when he saw an open wound and passed out like blacked out hit the floor everything we had to call 9-1-1 um well this time i thought he was gonna be okay he's been through a c-section with me before and he was sitting there and he said he he was staring at the ground and he saw something

on the ground he's like man like why is there a piece of shrimp on the ground and then realized very shortly after that it wasn't a piece of shrimp it was a piece of me oh and just looked at my anesthesiologist and said i don't feel so good and then he just started to go so she had to like grab him and then the baby wasn't crying and he passed out like it was just it was so hectic oh my god you know what listen i can't blame him no i am like the same way when i see blood or i see fucking anything that's not fucking ordinary i'll i don't i haven't fainted yet ever but i get really grossed out he said like he was surprised because i have like it was a whole female crew all the nurses doctors everyone was female and he said they were just in there talking about like um you know going to mexican food after and stuff like that he's like

how how are you in someone's insides and talking about like going to get margaritas i can't understand i couldn't even talk about eating carne asada because like the inside of people look like raw carne asada i had some medical difficulties and she had to take pictures of my insides to show me later on and it really does like the little flaps and just everything stuff is carne yeah it's nasty so what did we name the baby cash cash cash michael cash bunny cash bunny yeah his middle name is bunny he's gonna grow up no one he's gonna be a little bunny yeah no really like it's he's such a sweet little baby he's so tiny how's it how's it been for you after giving birth um it's been different i definitely mentally went

through a different pregnancy um and then even after i feel like this afterwards is a lot different than with olivia and i think maybe it's just the difference in having a girl and a boy like what is in your body yeah you know just maybe having more hormones and then more testosterone with him. But it's definitely two different pregnancies. It hasn't been the best, but it's been like a weird, like good and bad. Like when you say like good and bad, what's some of the good? Some of the good is just kind of finding myself again, you know, because I get that with Olivia. Yeah, I'm not sure we're in a little crop top today.

Like, you know, self-love, you know, like finding that, but then also mentally being at like my lowest, you know, my depression is really like at a really bad place, but like in the same sense. So it's like one of those weird, like my anxiety is really high. So I'm feeling a lot of emotion, like things like that. But my depression is at a really low. So then I dwell a lot and things like that. It's a kind of like a roller coaster yeah no I never I've always had severe anxiety problems and I but I've never battled with depression until last January when I did a YouTube video about it but depression is I never understood it like people used to always even Jay Jay gets

super depressed and I and I used even now that I've experienced depression, it hits people differently. Like sometimes I'll be like, Jay, you have so much good going on around you. Like, how can you be depressed? What is there to be sad about? You know, but it, depression really just fucking, it conquers. And I don't want to say conquers. It consumes anybody. Yes.

Like nobody is safe from fucking depression. You can have everything. And you know what? Viking Barbie and I, when she was out here, we kind of got on this like subject. It was like Kata, Viking Barbie, me, and then Jonathan's wife was there also. And we all got on this subject of depression. And something that resonated with me, which made me kind of make that turn into more self-love, was Viking Barbie had said that people would look at her and assume she was the happiest

person ever because she's beautiful. She has lots of money. You know, she's like, I'm a porn star. I've got a loving, significant other, like all these things. She said, so when people look at me, they don't understand why I would have depression. Kind of like how you're saying, like, you look at jay and you're like you have so much yeah and she said you know it doesn't matter what i have i still don't have that happiness right man if i always thought in my head well if i had this i would be happy and it doesn't work like that you know it's a true

chemical imbalance yeah no it really is i like i, I've been battling it since last January. Mine isn't more of the depression side. Mine's more of like suicidal ideation. And you know that. Like I even talked about it in the YouTube video that I made. And it's not that I would ever act on it, but I literally, there's not a day that goes by that I don't envision it. Like it's sick.

And there's sometimes that I'm just like, why am I thinking about this this like i could literally be sitting there having a blast and then i just envision like blowing my head off yeah like and it's crazy but you know i've read so much stuff about it and a lot of people are like that you know like you would look at people and just be like oh my god there's they have everything you know going for them and not realizing that everybody's fighting a war inside themselves in there that like some people can shut it off a lot better and you know, going for them and not realizing that everybody's fighting a war inside themselves. Some people can shut it off a lot better. And you know, I saw something the other day. Do you have that little voice in your head? No, not yet. No, no. I just was like, yeah. Do you talk in your head? Um, I don't, I mean, not more than normal. Like, I don't, I don't know

what's normal and what's not. Yeah. I learned that there's actually a majority of people that don't have a voice in their head. Okay. They envision shapes and paths and things like that, but they don't physically speak in their head. They cannot hear a voice. Right. And I was like, dude, do you know what I would do not to have a voice in my head? Well, when you hear the voice, what does it do?

Because I'm trying to figure out if I got it or not. It literally narrates my entire day. Like, my voice doesn't stop in my head. So, like, give me an example. Like, right now, like, I have other't stop in my head so like give me an example like right now like i have other paths going in my head just thinking about all the things i have to do family at home things like that yeah on being able to sit here and have a conversation so i have something already running in my head yeah no i do too yeah so there's a majority of people that don't have that right

like um you know if you're driving in the car i'm thinking in my head and there's like a little voice in my head talking saying you have this this and this to do like or you you know don't forget to make that left hand turn up here well there are a majority of people that don't have that and you know i feel like i wonder if those people suffer as much as we would with anxiety and depression if they don't have that voice because i feel like that voice would be silent well i feel like they would suffer just as much because they wouldn't have like, you know, that expression, I guess. It would be like more like stuff down.

So wouldn't that come out in other ways? Yeah, I don't know. Not sure. That's like a really like weird thing I always wondered, you know, like because they think in shapes and paths, they don't think in words. Yeah. I'm really hard on myself. Like that voice in my head is like super

rough like yeah you know just constantly mine are more visions as opposed to voices so like but i've always been under attack like spiritually we've talked about this you do freaking you know a million times is ever since i was a little girl i have always seen spirits i've always been attacked by by the spiritual world. And I feel like that has a lot to do with something going on inside me. And I was watching American Horror Story last night with Jay and with a psychic on there said, she said something, she said, like, you don't, you don't choose them, they choose you. And that's like the realest thing ever. Resonate. Yeah, I was like, holy shit. I was like, that's the truth. And I feel like a lot of my mental unstabilities come from other spirits, you know, because I, cause I never ever

battled, um, depression or the suicidal thoughts until I went through the miscarriage in January. But literally right after I went to a funeral home, chisel rest in peace was shot. And I went to a funeral home and I touched the body. And I, in that moment, I feel like something latched onto me and it just wouldn't, it hasn't let me go. It's gotten, I've gotten relief from it because when I first felt that feeling, it was like the only way that I could explain it was eternal darkness. It was like, I was laying in a tanning booth and I literally had to jump up out of the tanning booth because I fucking if I was so sad and I kept visioning envisioning me blowing my head off. And it but it was just like sadness.

Like I was consumed with sadness. And I remember I raced to the fucking hospital and I called Jay. I was like, I'm having a fucking nervous breakdown. Something's wrong. I was like, I'm going to the fucking hospital and I called Jay. I was like, I'm having a fucking nervous breakdown. Something's wrong. I was like, I'm going to the hospital. I was in the parking lot, literally praying like, dear Lord, please like get these thoughts out of my head. I don't want to feel like this. I'm fucking eating St. John's wort, fucking taking my L-methylfolate. Like I had just had my boobs taken out too. So I think that had a lot to do with it too. My boobs, my, uh, you know, all my hormones are trying to get back on track too,

after having the miscarriage. And I just feel like, um, you know, like in that moment, it was like the worst feeling ever. So susceptible to it at that point also, because that was a lot of trauma to go through. Your body wasn't, your body was weak and your walls were down. Yeah, for sure. And I also think I I had the rona I think I got the rona in November but literally this past year has been like I've been on like this fucking self-help um you know just path of trying to figure out how to make myself better and taking vitamins has made me feel better are you thinking I think I read something that you had said in your story the other day that you're thinking about getting back on medication uh no i'm gonna just seek help so i'm probably gonna start seeing a therapist which i haven't done before oh really

just more like self-help myself like research i'm just like you yeah you know you and i are very similar on like if i if i'm gonna do something i'm gonna read every article about it on the internet yeah i know about it you know and things like that so um i had talked to jason about it like at the end of my pregnancy and then now that i had the baby he was like i think it's time yeah i think so too because like again like i'm at a really good high but i'm also at a really really low so there's like no in between some days are great some days are awful mornings can start great and bad i think we're so you know impressionable yeah our brains are very impressionable yes we're younger so like something that happens is gonna trail off later in your life and like you're gonna probably suppress it a lot you know like you said you were like wild like for a long time oh i'd still be

wild if i never got married and like a lot of that probably has to do with the fact that you had trauma as a child and it's like that's your way to like just push it down inside further and further and it doesn't always have to be like sexual trauma. You know, like my mom left me on a doorstep when I was three months old. And, you know, it took my dad was in the hospital and she like ran off with his organ player, you know, like, yeah, it was crazy. So literally it's just a series of traumatic events. I also had a super, you know, abusive stepmother who, you know, I used to get my ass kicked and that set the bar for abusive relationships because it was like, well, if this

is how she shows me love, then this is what, you know, so I think going to therapy is what I'm coming back around to. I think going to therapy is probably one of the best things you can do because I, when I started therapy last year, when I went to go see my therapist out here she did um the ed is it edmr with me or the tapping no I don't know what that is um yeah it's edmr and it's it actually really helped so they have this therapy where they you hold these devices and it like taps in your hand and it's like supposed to reset your neurotransmitters in your brain i'm not exactly positive 100 so don't you know judge me if i'm not telling the right description about it um but what was really cool and what she had me do was she had me revisit a really painful

situation and i don't even like saying it's painful and i have a heart i minimize everything and i think at the time i was so upset because my parents, when I, I got molested when I was five, but I didn't tell my parents until I was like nine, 10 or 11. And this guy had raped numerous people, including his own sister, like abusive ended up becoming one of the biggest rapists in Texas. Uh, yeah. And it was my uncle's, um, my uncle's son who I think is in and out of prison still, as we speak, uncle's um my uncle's son who I think is in and out of prison still as we speak god rest his soul he has passed away my uncle um but what she had me do was revisit one of the situations that happened and she had me visualize talking to my child self you know and she's like if you could tell your child self anything right now what would it be and you're literally like sitting there talking and I'm not one that's made to cry easily yeah you know and just envisioning me as a child sitting

there talking to myself just had me in tears and sometimes what is Chachi doing going down fucking Chachi's like listen mom you're not get serious. So I think just sitting there and envisioning, you know, that and in therapy and just all that stuff is so good for you and just so healthy, you know? Yeah. Healthy. Yeah. That's another thing is like we tend to suppress that so, so much. Yeah. Because it's like that self-help, that self-love is the first thing that goes, you know, like it was just something as simple as i'd put on there um like just i've had my phone for two years i've never made it easier for myself to use

right you know like i've never like i can literally search for this app every day and it'd be frustrating and shit as easy as just putting the app on your home screen you know because i've got my android and the iphone so it's like you can organize your phone in both ways but like mine was just like it would be so much easier if i had that app that I used every single day on my home screen. And like the other day. Yeah. The other day I fucking put it on my home screen. It took me three like seconds.

Like just fucking hold it down and put it up. That's all it took. But like I suppressed myself of that for two years. Yeah. You know, because that's the first thing you do is like you don't feel like you're deserving enough of it. So you just take those things away even if you subconsciously don't be like some people would have never thought yeah some people don't even realize that they're like self-deprecating yeah at all like if you like say you're a mom and you're you are a mom actually

you know a lot of moms don't go out and spend money on themselves because they feel like they don't deserve it and their kids do that's self-deprecation that comes from some sort of trauma that happened as a child that's a trauma response yeah to something that happened to you as a child so you know even taking the first steps of self-love like you're doing is such a huge step i love that you're wearing you don't make me dress you up because you know we should do a meme make i feel like i can't do a meme makeover on you though because you're already so beautiful it was easy with shan because she was like a nerd you know so it was like we had to make her look like a fucking porn star you know but with you it's like what could i possibly do to to upgrade you that

was like one of the things i didn't realize that i was starting to like uh give myself more self love it was jason who pointed out he's very like hyper aware of me and my feelings and everything like that you have such a good husband i really do like he's the best uh and it was i went and bought new clothes and he was like well look at you you know and then like i got my nails done i haven't had my nails done since march um so i got my nails done this whole outfit except for my shoes was brand new i and then i went and got a tattoo and so you know like it was those things that like i probably haven't spent money on myself truly spent money on myself in like i can't tell you how long what's up guys just wanted to take a moment to tell you guys that this podcast is sponsored by adam and

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Oh my gosh. We need this fucking list. Yes. Because I know quarantine is driving me up a fucking wall. Yes. And you know what? It not just did mental things to like yourself, but like your loved ones. Yeah. You were put into situations with your loved ones yeah you were put into

situations with your loved ones you've never so i see all these people like in confessions and stuff and be like quarantine ruined my marriage no there was an underlying issue here that you just got you guys were forced to be in the same room and talk yeah you know it's sort of like um when someone changes a job like maybe you're home more and you go through those fights you're forced into those situations right no i've seen a lot of divorces this quarantine and i'm just like golly did you guys never have a fucking conversation celebrities especially how many divorces we saw come out of or talk about divorce or needing help because you know a lot of celebrities uh you guys know like it ruined your guys's tour like oh yeahay was leaving the week of yeah and quarantine hit

you know and then you're these people are forced to be together when maybe all they ever knew was tour or travel and things like that so jay and i are always together so i feel like quarantine brought us closer together but i mean i'm ready for a break so if anybody wants my husband they can have him fuck my life i'm like when does tour start but you know what he's picked up golfing and that's another thing for his depression instead of just sitting around sulking about it jay went out and decided to do some self-love and he went and got a membership out of three country clubs and literally golfs every fucking day and i don't complain he's gone from fucking eight o'clock in the morning well no let me not lie he's gone from like 1 p.m in the morning. Well, now let me not lie. He's gone from like 1 PM in the afternoon until like 10 o'clock at night.

And I couldn't be more happier because one, he's getting exercise. He's getting his steps in and he's, you know, out there doing something that he loves. It's taken his mind off of whatever it is. That's, you know,

hurting him on the inside. You know, he's still getting over his dad's death and stuff like that too. And it's not a cure. Like, you know, finding things like that aren't like so much of a cure but more of a distraction yeah you still have to work on

yourself regardless if you find that little thing that helps distract you it's going to revisit eventually so i think for the first let for the first thing on the list we don't even know how many points we're going to have with this but just for a little list of mental self self-help i think that self-love yes show yourself some sort of self-love today or tomorrow actually don't even wait till tomorrow do it today like you're listening to this i think about what you're gonna do for yourself yeah think about something that you've wanted to do even if you don't have money to do anything go out and fucking walk in the park yeah you know i mean it's a little chilly right now but you know or go to a nursery and

smell flowers put the app on your home screen that's been like driving yeah organize your phone something so so small clean out your closet which is what i'm gonna fucking go home and do yeah you know like clean out some sort of closet do you know make a place in your home that is your safe space that you can go to go take a fucking fucking bubble bath. Paint your own fucking nails. Yeah. You know, like. It's something that you. Wax your butthole.

You didn't. You know, anything. You didn't know you were depriving yourself of that, that you know is going to make yourself just a little bit happy. Yeah. It doesn't have to be a lot. Just a little. And then just work your way into it.

You know. Absolutely. Absolutely. And then I think the second thing would be definitely some sort of help yes get in there talk to somebody which i need to go back i haven't been probably in the past six months but since quarantine yeah quarantine literally ruined our whole routine but it's really good to go talk to somebody that's a third party that doesn't have an opinion who doesn't and i'm not talking about going to a psychologist and And getting fucking pills. Because I for one.

No I'm not. Medication. I don't believe in medication. I know everybody's different. And that it helps other people and stuff like that. I'm more of like a naturalist. I want to take vitamins. You know and there's some vitamins I've taken.

Like I took 5-HTP one time. It fucking made me climb the walls. And I read so many good reviews on it. I had to drink like a bottle of Benadryl to come down off of that. My anxiety was at all because I have that MTHFR gene mutation. So that's why even doing drugs, I never was like a good drug addict. What is that mutation? You need to look into it because you might have it too.

I feel like I've looked up something like this before. Yeah, you need to look it up. I don't really know the whole, I don't want to talk scientifically because I don't really know too much about it. I know a lot about it, but I don't know how to explain it. It's like, it's a mutation in your genes that like, okay, say I snort a real Coke and Monica snorts a real Coke. I'm going to get sick because my body can't break it down and process it.

I don't know why I used Coke as a fucking thing, but Monica's going to party like it's fucking 1999, you know? So your body just can't break down certain things and it can't work, but also that affects your mental health. So a lot of people who have it have a chemical imbalance, have depression, have anxiety, have suicidal ideation. It's a huge thing. So you need to really look into it. Um, MTHFR gene mutation. And what they do is they put you on L-methylfolate because it's a, you're lacking B9, I believe it's either B6 or B9. I think it's

B9. You're lacking B9 in your body and it's it'll throw your entire body off if you're lacking any sort of vitamins in your body your whole body's going to be out of whack so i went and i got my blood work done and for those people who can go and get your blood work done i think a lot of insurance companies cover that too yeah go get your fucking blood work done figure out what's going on before you go to a psychologist and get and want to get put on medication go get your blood work done see what you're lacking in vitamins we just did it with monica monica was going through it like it was her mood swings were so severe that i could i knew something was wrong and i'd be like dude are you okay and like so we took her and come to find out

she was lacking in a whole bunch of shit and so now they have her on a vitamin regimen and she's been doing pretty good huh memo yeah i've been doing a lot better yeah put your back like in it is like little things can completely throw you off oh yeah no no it's vitamins vitamin deficiencies are a motherfucker because when i was going through that shit in january that's what i did is i finally went to um justin at body works. If you guys live in, in Nashville, you guys have to go see Justin at body works home, but he sent you, he's amazing. He has this lady there named crystal who I can hook you up with. You can go see, she'll draw all your labs and tell you exactly. And just from looking at your blood work, she'll be like, okay, you need this, you need this, you need this. And then she'll put you on

a regimen within two weeks. You'll be feeling so much better. You know, i'm always throwing vitamins at you and shit so i definitely think have your blood drawn to should be in one of those as well as to the root of maybe one of the issues and not have to jump all the way you know you want to start small and work your way up yeah just go be put on medication because medication is literally just going to change your entire dna you it's going to like you numb yeah like and that's and i've been there i've been on medication i tried that kind of stuff i think that's what people need to hear though see i've never been on medication but you have it honestly um there was a turning point for me like i felt like one they were giving me more side effects than what i was

trying to prevent yeah so like i had more suicidal thoughts on medication than I had off of it. Yeah. And I'm like, isn't this what we're supposed to be like trying to prevent and fix? You know, it's not a fix. It's literally just a mask. Right. And Jason and I, I almost lost Jason in 2016 to a car accident. And I remember we had gotten very tragic news like in all of that coming.

It was like the beginning of 2017 i was on medication and we got this like really really sad news and jason's back was turned to me and he's like i just knew i was gonna turn around you were gonna be bawling because i'm a crier i cry over i'll cry over a fucking commercial um and then he like makes that turn to look at me and he was like you were just stone cold he said you had not one emotion he was like that was tragic he was like i was on the verge of losing it and you're just over there like looking like a damn statue yeah he's like that's when i knew there was something wrong with you and that's what the medication did it just made me not feel yeah i just was like well that sucks see i wouldn't want

to go through i'm such an emotionally passionate person like i'm not emotional on the outside but there's a storm brewing inside and like i would not want to never not feel that human though like i want to feel love i want to feel happiness but i also want to still feel sadness yeah i just don't want to go all the way down deep dark into the pits and we are not talking shit about people on medication there are some people who really need it and some people who it really works for i'm just scared because i'm already a fucking weirdo if i take that shit i just don't want anything in my body. Like I am 100% I don't even take anything to sleep Like even I don't take benadryl anymore and like jay even said that the other day He's like you're not taking anything to sleep and I was like no

Because as long as he's known me I literally have had to take you know Benadryl or something that will help me go to sleep Like I've cleaned in this past five years that i've been with jay I've cleaned my entire body out and i'm just trying to get to know myself sober. Yeah. You know, and it's a crazy thing. It's a new person. Yeah.

No, it's weird. I'm kind of boring and fucking freakishly awkward. It's fucked up. Like I'm good with people in my own circle, but any new people, I'm just like, I don't know what to do. And yeah. And, you know, like just it getting to the root of it. And that's pretty much what you're doing is like that that's i didn't want to be on medication anymore so this is like the last

two three years um i've just pretty much smoked yeah weed and like yeah that'd be kind of like i love weed a safety net for me and then figure out like okay it's not it's not fixing me i'm not saying that's gonna be a fix but it masks it a lot easier and gives me that you know i still feel emotion and stuff absolutely not on medication and now i think it gives you the munchies yeah now it's time to go towards the okay let's hope a therapist can actually fix this absolutely well it's gonna be you doing the fixing it's not gonna be the therapist she's just gonna guide you yeah exactly and that's always good i love weed i'm a huge advocate for weed i believe in it it's natural all that stuff i used to be a weed smoking

motherfucker and then anxiety if i can anxiety has taken all the joys of life for me yeah so it's like i can't even smoke anymore without having like a panic attack so um let's see what's next what do you think we did self i'd say get out get out and fucking don't sit don't sit at home thinking of ways to self yes that's where medicaid yeah quarantine was hard on that because it drew everyone inside yep so like drinking fucking popping a zanny you know yeah i mean every now and then is okay but if i can you know you need to try to think of healthy constructive ways of coping as opposed to destructive ways of coping yes exactly because it's really just going to make it worse and that's all you're pretty much doing if you're taking if you're drinking the alcohol you're taking the

pills or stuff you're masking it for now and all this benzo's make you feel lower anyways yeah it's just gonna it's gonna storm inside a lot more and then eventually it's gonna break out and something bad's gonna happen yep it's gonna come out in different ways yes exactly and you know what it affects your loved ones too like really really really bad like communicate yes you have to even if it's super hard for you and it's important that your loved one knows how to communicate with you. Yeah. Well, who knows how to listen to you can communicate all you want with somebody. But if they are not comprehending what you're saying, it's not going to get anywhere.

That's what I always tell people. They're like, what's your biggest relationship secret? And I'm just like, we don't really have a relationship secret. We just literally try to fucking understand each other instead of, you know, some people listen to talk. You need to listen to hear, you know, so you have to make sure you have that significant other that actually is receiving what you're saying, because there are a lot of people who are going through mental health that have partners that aren't supportive. Yeah. I've heard people say before, like having their significant other,

tell them like, are we over this yet yet like they're going through a depression state if my husband ever told me are we over this yet yeah i would probably lose it like i really would lose my shit he just he just he's amazing like and we kind of figured out this part of me together we've been together in march will be 10 years so it's like i've kind of like we've grown with my mental health so he's learned how to deal with it a lot more instead of just coming into like a crazy like I was still young and wild when I was younger and we met so you know it was masked really well and then like I sobered up a lot more and like that's when I figured out I was like oh I'm fucking crazy cool yeah um so like let's figure this out together and he's done great about that like he could help

anyone you know just learning what to say, when to say it kind of thing is super important because like it doesn't have to be your significant other. It can be like a parent, a friend or whatever. Just have that person who knows how to communicate with you when you're at your worst and knows how to, you know, be there for you even when you're at your best. Right. Yeah, totally. I couldn't agree more.

And I just also think that, you know, you know yourself. So, you know, if you yourself. So, you know, if you're having like suicidal thoughts and you feel like you're going to act on it, then you need to really go talk to somebody. I wouldn't call those helplines because I've heard so many bad reviews about them. You can go places like you went to the hospital because you knew better. So don't ever feel like you're alone in this world and that you don't have anybody to talk to. I mean, dude, my DMs are always open. My DMs are full of people who are always messaging me asking for some sort of glimpse of hope. Cause that's really what depression is. You just feel hopeless, you know, and you guys have got to understand the shit passes. Like you could be in the lowest of lows and two months later being

on top of the world, you know? So don't ever let a bad day fuck you up forever yeah you have to remember some of the happiest people don't have everything self-care 2021 we said self-care 2020 and it really did turn out to be self-care but it was like we were all going through it yeah you gotta go through that bad shit yeah that's what it was yeah you gotta go through the low to have the high yeah so we're gonna make 2021 just self-care 2021 we got to make it happen you know yeah for sure Mimi thank you so much for being here thank you for having me I always love when you're here I think everybody else loves when you're here too I would hope so why don't you tell everybody where they can find you if they already don't know you can find me on instagram at shirley.sinful I'm not cool enough

to have the only fans. That's next. We're going to have Mimi busting it wide open pretty soon. I can't wait. Oh, God. Self-love. Self-love, baby. Thank you guys so much for tuning in to another episode of Dumb Blonde. I will see you guys next week.

Bye. Bye. you you you you