Dumb Blonde - Ask, Tell, Confess

Episode Date: January 24, 2025

In this week's Ask, Tell, Confess, a listener dishes out a revenge story involving a twisted shepherd’s pie, another vents about her husband possibly dropping the ball on her 50th birthday plans, and a caller shares an unforgettable moment where a hookup sniffed around a little too much during a hookup.Watch Full Episodes & More:www.dumbblondeunrated.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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We have more shows that we're adding. And not to mention we have the visuals of the podcast. Head over to www.patreon.com backslash dumb blonde podcast and sign up. Ask tell, confess. Welcome everyone to another episode of Ask, Tell, Confess. Welcome everyone to another episode of Ask, Tell, Confess. Welcome everyone to another episode of Ask, Tell, Confess. Welcome everyone to another episode of Ask, Tell, Confess. Welcome everyone to another episode of Ask, Tell, Confess. Welcome everyone to another episode of Ask, Tell, Confess. Welcome everyone to another episode of Ask, Tell, Confess.

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Shhhhhhhhhh. That was my contribution. I've been practicing and I really want to get the whistle down but I can't do it. I can't, like I said, I can't whistle regularly so it's the only way. I can't do it. I can't. Like I said, I can't whistle regularly, so I can only whistle. Listen, ladies, don't get lip filler if you ever want to whistle. Never fucking work. Wait, you have lip filler. Can you? Not a lot, though.

You guys don't have a lot. I feel like no, not like I do. I got a fucking whole fucking two decades worth of filler in my lips. I got a decade. So you got a decade. I got a decade. I didn't even know. Yeah. I've been here officially 10 years. Haley was just sending me some dude's fucking massive dong. Yeah. And what is it with these guys?

I was on my for you page. First of all, I want to know how people on TikTok get away with this shit. Yeah. Because if I the video of me and Greg having a fucking rump off, get shadow banned. But dudes can be on there with bulges. Girls are just clapping cheeks like nothing. It's almost like if they're underage, the girls like not underage, but if they're like super, super young, like TikTok just pushes them to the masses. It's so weird. Yeah, I like it.

So anyway, isn't that where you found that cone video that one time? Was that on Instagram? The cone of the girl was Reels. Oh, Reels be wild. Oh, we already have. Instagram Reels is crazy. Yeah. I send you guys some weird shit. It's a wild west over there.

You know, it's wild. So what do you guys got for us today? We got some new Ashtail confesses. We're excited. We're going to read some and we're going to listen to some because now you can text in and you can send voicemails. So maybe it was just telling you guys guys if you guys want to be able to leave us voicemails or text us You need to be a patreon member. You can sub to any tier and you can access this feature

All right, I'm gonna give you this one to read About seven years ago, I was living with a terribly abusive boyfriend. We had two dogs and one night, during one of his drunken rages, he stepped in dog poop they had left on the floor. Furious, he picked it up and threw it at me. It actually hit me in the face.

I was beyond horrified. The next day while he was at work, I decided I'd have enough and wanted a little revenge. No. I made a homemade shepherd's pie for dinner, but I added a little something extra. A small piece of dog poop mixed with the gravy. I served him a big portion with a smile.

To top it off, I also smeared him a big portion with a smile. To top it off, I also smeared a bit of it inside the hood of one of his hoodies and his pillowcases, just enough for him to catch faint whiffs of it. Isn't that the word whiff, Christy? I love that it was so faint. The craziest part, he didn't even notice. That man was something else.

Part double, I swear, a week later, I moved out for good to this day, though. craziest part he didn't even notice that man was something else part double I swear a week later I moved out for good to this day though I can't even look at shepherds by without feeling sick wait you don't notice how do you not notice oh my gosh he must have stank he must have been a stinky person yeah that or he was just used to dog shit in the house smell hmm I don't so here's this is a thin line. And I never want to make anybody feel bad for something they've done, you know, to an ex who is especially in a fucking abusive ex. I get that.

You got to leave. You don't start fucking with people's food because that one is one of my biggest fears, but two, it's just it's different. You know, like slashing tires, I can understand. Breaking windows. I mean, even fucking throwing hands with each other, I can understand. But making poisoning somebody's food is a whole another level of kind of like, whoa, you know, like you have to really like what links will you go when you get mad at somebody else?

I have a distant cousin die from that one time. Somebody fed him poop. No, they didn't get fed poop. They got fed arsenic. Oh, yeah. So they actually were targeting. The husband was targeting the wife or something like this. He was on Dateline.

He's a distant cousin. I wasn't close with them. But there's like a whole Dateline about how he had came in early and put it in the coffee maker because she was always the first person that got there. I think I saw that. Yeah, so they poisoned the coffee just so having my cousin got there first that day. I know and yeah, got it instead.

I just, I feel like if you are that mad at somebody to where you're thinking about poisoning them, you need to leave because they're making making their their making you become some a monster. Yeah. And that that makes you no different than them. And I'm not talking down to you at all. I appreciate the confession. I think that's, you know, fucking very cool that you can you can owned up to that. But at the same time, it's like we have to draw a line somewhere and have boundaries in the hoodie. Maybe not the shepherd's pie. Fucking rub it in his face while he's sleeping at night.

I don't give a shit. Yeah. Anything besides eating. Yeah. It's just when you put something in somebody else's body, especially when they trust you, it's like, you know, like that's where it becomes. Because what if that, what if that poop had something in it and then the dude accidentally fucking died?

And then you go to jail. Oh my God. You know, like, and then you're going to jail for murder. Yeah, true story. You know, it's like there's just so many what ifs that could happen when you're fucking with people's food. I just don't condone fucking with people's food period. Gross. Yeah. Facts. All right. So we're going to hop into some of these ass talk confesses.

Stephanie wrote in bunny, should I be mad? My hubby just told me that he's feeling extremely guilty as he never planned anything for my 50th. A few weeks ago he told me he was going to take me to Texas to see my son. Now he says it's too cold and traveling would be difficult. I mentioned a few things we could do and his response is, it's winter, it's too cold. His final response to me is, you can wait till summer and I will do something for you then.

I'm fucking steaming. We never go out as a couple. I myself get out and do vacations with my grandson. The biggest day of my life is coming up. You guys, there is no better time than to manifest a new business than the new year. Start this year off being your own boss, being an entrepreneur, doing whatever your little heart desires. You know that business idea that you've been thinking about putting together? Guess what? Do it. I'm telling you right now, I was scared when I first started my business and now look where

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See MintMobile for details. And it's one excuse after another. Should I just buy me a plane ticket for the South and say see ya or I'm gonna go have the time of my life? Or am I overreacting? Should I settle for something this summer? I should probably, I should probably add we do live in Michigan and it's cold but that's what Long Johns are for. So I'm probably the wrong person to ask this because I'm about to drop a bomb here and I'm sure everybody's gonna think it's crazy, but my husband and I do not buy each other presents.

We don't celebrate birthdays. We don't celebrate Christmas. We don't celebrate anniversaries. We don't do any of that. And we stopped doing that because in the beginning of our relationship, like he would buy me a car. I would then feel bad and have to return it and buy him a car.

We ended up with fucking eight cars in our driveway, you know? And it just got to the point where it just didn't feel like we were in it for the right reasons as far as buying gifts. And we didn't want it to be a monetary thing, you know? And I want for one, hate people fawning over me today. This month is the first month that I've actually been like, hey, you know what? I'm going to plan a birthday trip and we're going to go, which actually we need to pull the trigger on that soon. And when I made those plans, I did not include my husband

at all because my husband, one, his schedule is so fucking crazy, two, my husband does nothing but travel for a fucking living. And the last thing I'm going to ask him to do is go out of town with me and my girls to celebrate my birthday. And lastly, I just honestly didn't think that he was going to want to go. So I told him, I was like, hey, baby, I think I'm planning a trip for my birthday. And he was actually really surprised because he knows I never

we don't celebrate holidays, nothing. And he was like, I think that's fucking awesome. And then, you know, like a week later, he's like, do you want me to go? And I was like, I would love for you to go because I would love nothing more than my husband to come with me on the birthday trip. But I just didn't, you know, all those other factors. I just didn't want to ask. I really feel like if you want to do something, I get it.

You want your husband there with you, too. But at the same time, it's like, do you want somebody there who whose heart's not in it? Or would you rather just book it yourself, be an independent baddie and go and have fun by yourself and with your grandson or with friends or like, I get it that we only have one 50th birthday, but it's over in a day. And that's what I always tell everybody about birthdays.

It's like, everybody always puts like an emphasis on, oh my God, you turned 40, you have to celebrate. And it's just like, no, I don't because guess what? The next day I'm 41 and it's all over with, you know, like we don't need to make a big to do. So I just feel like if you want something, do it for yourself and do it in the spirit of you know what? I'm turning 50 and I'm about to go fucking have a blast whether he's with me or not.

And that's going to change your whole perspective on everything because stop waiting around for him. Live your life without him. And if he decides, like my husband did, like at last minute, like, hey, do you want me to go? Yes, I would love for you to go. But at least he's going on his own will now and not feeling forced. Because I feel like men in general always feel forced

when it comes to their wives to have to do stuff. And it's like, you just want somebody who's participating because they want to, you know? So I don't think it's anything to be mad about. Dolly and her husband. Yeah. Openly talked about that on the podcast and said, like, Carl doesn't really do much with me and that's OK. I'll go do it. Yeah. You know, I think that's really cool.

And they've got like a really awesome relationship. Yeah, absolutely. And I mean, you know, you never know, you could fucking have the time of your life, pick a city and just fucking go, bring one of your friends, bring your fucking grandson, bring whoever brings you joy, because that, in that moment, if that turning 50 is that big of a deal for you,

make it a big deal for you then. Don't wait for somebody else to make it a big deal for you. Or maybe he's already booked the trip, but he's just trying to surprise you. Downplaying it, already booked the trip, but he's trying to surprise down playing it. Yeah, that could be. I got on that. Oh, I didn't even. That's perspective because I didn't even think of that. It could be because if he keeps saying like, no, we're not going to go whatever. And then she'll be more surprised.

Yeah, that would piss me off. That would piss me off. That's what would piss me off. I'd be like, you know, I'm the fucker. You know, you saw me getting mad over here. How many times you could have been like, look, bitch, I planned the fucking thing. piss me off. I'd be like, you know, I'm a the fucker You know, you saw me getting mad over here how many times you could have been like look bitch I planned the fucking thing leave me alone. I mean the couch. I kept saying no, but he's behind my back Yeah, exactly

So yeah, I needed an update on this Yeah, give us an update Let us know what he decides to do and if your birthday is soon, then I'm assuming you're probably an Aquarius So I mean you're in yeah Cap, Aquarius or Pisces so I'm assuming you're pretty independent on your own so yeah you you can do this yeah by yourself I will have a fucking blast by myself if I fucking want to you know I'm a party of one party party for one party of one baby party of one, baby, party of one. This person just asked, Melissa wants to know for the Ask, Tell, Confess, I would like to hear your take on all the hate you're receiving about opening a bar for someone who speaks

so highly about recovery. So first of all, I haven't seen all the hate, so I don't consume that. But secondly, I am the one who is 100% sober in the relationship. My husband has never said that he is 100% sober. He has always said that he smokes weed and that he has a few drinks.

So the bar, one, is my husband's. Two, I also feel like I go in bars all the time and I don't drink. You have to drink. Yeah. I never drink. Like I literally, but and I get that some people, it's a different addiction level and some people can't be in bars and stuff like that. This isn't the only venture we're going to be opening up. You know, this is just an opportunity that my husband was able to make passive income and put his name and his family, you know, as a staple on Broadway, which to any fucking Antioch boy and Nashville boy is a dream. He's the only Nashville native with a bar.

This little boy from Antioch grew up walking the streets of Broadway and now he has his own bar on Broadway, which my husband does drink. So it's not like he's out here saying, oh, hey, you have to be just because you're sober doesn't mean you can't be fun. I've never understood. Like people are like, I'm sober. I can't do that. Like I'm sober and I'm I'm sober and I love to have fun.

I love to go to bars and fucking watch people get drunk. And then when they start getting too drunk, I leave. But it's like, I think it's fun to just be in the atmosphere and be able to be there and fellowship with friends and then go home. And which we understand some people just can't. That's just not the space for you. But this is also the space for people who can

and are able to either stay sober or go or people who choose not to be and they want to go have fun at a bar that that's just what that place is. Which I would definitely love to talk to the bar owners about doing a mocktail. A menu for people who can't drink like us like for me, I can't drink so I would. It's not that I can't drink I choose not to drink. Yes. So it's like you know I would love a little mocktail.

You should do it on your floor. Yeah, your floor should have a mocktail thing. My new shtick is, cause I don't love to drink, but sometimes I will, is I'll carry the same glass around all night. Yeah. So it's like, I'll have my first glass of champagne, but then I literally won't drink the rest of the night,

but I'll hold the glass the rest of the night. And there might be that much in it. No one ever offers me another drink. I don't have to tell people. You may, but you know, I'm like, oh no, I'm good over here. You know? And I'm like still on the same drink from two hours ago. Yeah. I just feel like society is so hard pressed to put people in boxes and like you said, you're sober, so you can't do this and you can't. And it's like, I can just because I'm sober doesn't mean my friends aren't. Those are thousands of other people aren't that too. And it's like I can just because I'm sober doesn't mean my friends aren't thousands of other people aren't that too.

And it's just like we don't. My husband has never said that he doesn't not drink and doesn't smoke weed. My husband is literally like Willie Nelson's fucking grandchild. Yeah, you know, yes. So I'm the only one who is sober. Yeah. And I had no idea my husband was giving me my own level of the bar until after it was already done, pretty much. So that was just a really sweet gesture of him

and just how my husband is really rooted in family and stuff. And this is just a fun little venture that we're diving into and just trying to dip our toes in other businesses. So let us grow, let us see what we like, let us see what we don't like. And if you can't drink and you are recovering alcoholic, please don't go in bars.

And like I said, this isn't the only thing that we're gonna be opening up. We've got your back of not going in the bar. Yeah, for sure. We fully support that. Yeah, absolutely. All right, so we're gonna listen to a voicemail. And like I said, if you guys wanna be a part of it, go join our Patreon so that you can leave us a voicemail and like I said if you guys want to be a part of it go join our patreon

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Terms at casino.draftkings.com slash promos ends January 19th, 2025 at 11.59 PM Eastern time. So I'll go first. During my 20s and after a wild night drinking at the bar, you know, you typically will find someone to go home with. That's how it's the best way to end the night when you're drunk. Nice.

It was one of my new guy friends came home and we were going at it and he starts to go down on me. And I remember previously he had always talked about how he maybe had a bad experience going down on a girl who smelled and that he wasn't going like he doesn't like doing that. So he's a smoker and I don't know if maybe he had congestion, but he starts to go down and he is smelling so hard, so loud that it's almost, I didn't even know if it was ever going to happen. He was, I mean, it was the loudest like sniff because he still couldn't smell. I don't needless to say, obviously he didn't, he didn't smell anything. Even drunk.

I was like, yo, like he's not even discreet. Okay. I would have laughed. You know, like he's not even discreet. OK. I would have laughed. That poor baby had PTSD. Whatever he went down and smelled before he was hoping he did not smell that ever again. The fact that he went down, it was like, yeah. Even though scratch and sniff, even though he is congested, that poor baby wanted to make sure

whatever he smelled before was not happening. Oh, poor baby. I don't want your most embarrassing moment in bed, Haley. I threw up on the dick one time. I did, too. So fucked up. And I didn't want him to know. So. Oh, wait, what did you do? I know this story. What did you do?

I think you ate it back up? You ate it back up. Yeah, that's what you got to do, man. That's what professionals do. It was like liquid. It's okay. It was just like tequila. Okay. Like literally going to puke.

I did the same thing, except when I puked, spinach came out. Okay. And we were filming. So it's on video. I've seen the film. What? And I had to suck the spinach and the puke back into my mouth. Thank God I didn't have. No, I'm trying not to throw up right now. That's awful. Yeah.

What the fuck? I'm glad we have similar stories. Yeah. Makes me feel like we're throat goats. That's awful. Yeah. What the fuck? I'm glad we have similar stories. Yeah. Makes me feel like we're throat goats. That's why. Yeah. Yeah. What about you, memes? Yeah. I shit in the bed one time. OK, I tell that story all the time. So I broke Jason's dick.

That wasn't I had that happen to me, too. But that's not embarrassing for me. That was embarrassing for him. No, I guess. What's embarrassing for you? Yeah, I don't know about embarrassing for me, really. I've never puked on a dick. Never shit in the bed? No. No, unfortunately not.

Have you ever had shit stains on your couch? No, you never had a sugar daddy just leave skid marks across a white sheet. You know, I miss that era of my life, unfortunately. You know, no, I know. Yeah, I know. Mimi has some deep dark shit. She never tells us. Yeah, let it out.

Let it out girl. I don't know if it's like embarrassing. You never farted while getting clapped? Doggy style? I don't know. I think when I was younger, like. I know you. At least I don't believe like, I know you said you cleaved. I farted in Jay's face when he was eating me out one

time. No, the only time I've ever heard. Okay, okay. When I was trying to have a baby, Jason and I had been trying. Jason and I had been trying for years. So it took five years for us to get pregnant with Olivia, right? So at this point, and I was just frustrated and I really wanted to have a baby and I was willing to do anything. And everyone always said after you're done having sex, go upside down so the gravity can work. Well, guess what happens when you go immediately upside down?

Sounds like a plug coming out of water. Yes. Oh, it is so loud and it goes on for so long. That's the worst. And it's one where you have ejaculation too, so it's just like burgles. Yeah, I was going to say it's like... So you had your legs up in the air just... I would just like dive off the end of the bed and just like put my head on the floor with a pillow and something, my ass was just straight up in the air, just I would just like dive off the end of the bed and just like put my head on the floor with a pillow and so my ass was just straight up in the air. It's just like you just start queefing.

It's amazing. That is fucking funny. And he would laugh so hard, which would make me laugh. So, oh, no. So I just kept going. The laughing queefs. Oh my God. You get the laughing queefs.

Oh my God. No, I hate queefs. Oh my god. No, I hate queefing period. I don't like it. It's embarrassing. I hate the word queef. It's awful. Who fucking came up with that? Who who did one one day and was like,

we shall call it queef. One time, my mom, I said queef in front of my mom. My mom said, what's a queef? And we like to take turns in our family, explaining to my mom what things are. Like my turn one time was the rusty trombone. I had explained to my mom what that was. Well, it was my turn to explain queef. And my mom goes, oh honey,

we just used to call those pussy farts. Stop. I fucking love Susan. I love that word too. Wait, can we call mom and make sure she tells me it's a pussy fart? That'd be so fucking funny. Love Susan, man.

She's fucking hilarious. Well, do we have any more? You guys want to read one more? Sorry, Nan. Yeah. Oh, my grandma said she's mad that I said grandma. Oh, what did she call her? Nanny.

She was like, can you stop saying grandma? I love her. He's so bougie. Resolve to earn your degree in the new year in the Bay with WGU. With courses available online 24-7 and monthly start dates, WGU offers maximum flexibility so you can focus on your future. Learn more at wgu.edu. Alright, we got one more before we go guys, confess when I was using meth real hard, probably at the peak of my addiction before my downfall,

I would get high and extremely sexually aroused. That's crazy. Because on meth, it's so hard to be horny on meth. Really? I don't know. Well, I don't know. Maybe it depends on how she was doing it. Well, I was a tattoo artist working in a shop

and while I had a weird thing that I would try and pull either a really old woman or an unattractive woman. I'm talking as unattractive as I could. In my high mind, I would like to do anything society deemed taboo or I was told by someone that they can't do. Okay, so I'm high at the shop and in walks a woman who was like 79, 80 years old. She wanted me to put a butterfly between her breasts. Here I am high and in between some old titties

and I was tattooing her, but I kinda threw a couple of hints at her and she flirted with me at least. That's the story. LOL, I was so high, so I still have a thing for unattractive women when I'm high. I have been clean and sober a long time, so I don't have those experiences anymore.

But I had some experiences, man. I was really hoping he banged the lady. I know. Like why even write in on leave us on a cliffhanger like that story banging on the tattoo table? First of all, he had to have been smoking it because it's a guy. Yeah. Yeah. The only time I've ever been horny on meth, because I used to I had a little brief meth moment in my life,

was when I would smoke it. You fucking snort meth. You're not horny. There's no way you are just like, it was clammed up and feel terrible. Oh, it's the worst. Can we mention the fact that he's doing meth and tattooing people? Oh, all tattoo artists are on something. What? I, 100%. That is just too many open wounds and,

like what if there's sweat drips? The majority? The majority, the majority. Dude, one time I was doing meth with my, and we talk about this in my book. One time I was smoking meth in a garage somewhere in fucking Vegas, and I got these stars put on my hands.

This star right here is extremely scarred. And if you touch it, you can feel it and stuff. We were so high on meth that he was digging in my bone with a tattoo gun and it felt good. And I told him to keep doing it. So I go home, two weeks later, I'm so sick. I'm laying in bed, like can't get out of bed. And my friend Grace comes in and she looks at me,

she's like, bitch, we're going to the hospital. She's like, my wrist was the same size as my bicep. So my whole arm, the entire way down was like just swollen. Well, I didn't have insurance, I was a fucking stripper. And I literally go to this doctor and perump remember the same the doctor that said he loved to play God? Yes, he was a doctor for all the girls that worked at the chicken ranches. This dude saved me though, and

fucking we walk into his hospital. And he looks at my arm and the doctor goes, Oh my god, oh my god. And as soon as a doctor said that to me, I fucking lost it. He's like, we need to put her on intravenous antibiotics. Right now, they hooked me up to a machine. He came in an hour later, my hand starts fucking just itching. I mean, it was so bad.

It instantly started attacking it. He came in, he said, I don't think you realize how close to losing your hand you were. He said, had you have waited one more hour, you would have probably lost your hand. Get the fuck out. Yep. That's what methyl duty friends. Methan tattoos do not mix, baby. Man, that's crazy. Yeah, I got a couple of trap house tattoos. Yeah. For sure. Haley. No, Haley has never been in a trap house.

No, there's no fucking way. Haley will date hood dudes, but never been to the hood. You know, like that's the type of girl she is. No, I know. I know. I know. But I'm talking like a real like trap house. Have you been in a trap house?

No, you guys don't know. 2015 and 2016 H house? Have you been? You guys don't know 2015 and 2016 Haley. No. Oh. You guys don't know that Haley. That was her young daughter. I'm very surprised I'm alive. We'll say that. Been in a lot of shootings.

Really? Yeah. Yeah. Shootings? Yeah. The club I used to frequent got shut down for three people dying outside Different occasions. Oh, well after hours clubs. I feel like there's always shooting always That's why I get scared for rail and all them like I just I hate it. I know real runs the after hours

No, I've been to after hours on Murphys real Pike. Yeah scary one and done. Yeah, I almost got taken Wow our security now that we have sometimes, he literally saved my life. This like dude, this car full of like four dudes, four or five dudes, they tried to get me in the car with them. They were trying to give me Zans and stuff and they were trying to get me in there to like suck them all off. Oh my god. Yeah. And not the group activity. One of our security saw it, spooled up his car, he's like, Haley get in, get in his car, we went to Wal-Wal's.

Aw. Man, you ended up in some weird situations. The other night after we left the bar, she texted me at like four o'clock in the morning and was like, I'm at some Airbnb. Here's a video of me. I said, Haley, that's how you get drugged. Yeah.

And she was like, I didn't get home till 9.30 in the morning. Yeah. Good times. And she said the people she was with were like it's not even late Yeah, I like that's how you know, they're on drugs at 9 a.m. They're like, it's not even late. Oh, man I was I was yawning at the bar. I was like man. I would really love some raising canes right now. All right. Well Love you guys. Smell you later. I

play some cows