Dumb Blonde - Ask, Tell, Confess: Bagpipers and Bean Biters

Episode Date: January 31, 2025

It's a zesty episode of Ask, Tell, Confess this week, starting strong with a story about some of the wet and wild things left behind in a hotel lost and found. Then, a hilarious story about a bagpiper, a listener who got her bean bit, and a wife covered in puppy puke. Finally, Bunnie & the gals try to discover what love attachment styles they are.Watch Full Episodes & More:www.dumbblondeunrated.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I don't care what anybody says, it doesn't matter what time of year it is, I never get tired of online shopping, especially during the holidays. Here's the thing, it's kind of gross out. Even those of us that embrace the chilly weather need something to break up long winter nights. Something I love to do is treat myself to a little something, but I don't want to spend a fortune on my winter blues. That's where Quince comes in. I'm absolutely obsessed with my Quince luggages.

I took them on tour, I brought them home and they're still like brand new. I'm pretty much obsessed with this brand but there is something else that everyone needs in their closet in my opinion. Quince's iconic Mongolian cashmere sweaters which start at $50 or if you want to really up the lux factor check out their Italian leather handbags, washable silk skirts, and European linen sheet sets. Whatever you're looking for, all Quinn's items are priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. Quinn's only works with factories that use safe, ethical, and responsible manufacturing practices. Treat yourself this winter without the luxury price

tag. Go to quince.com slash B U N N I e for 365 day returns plus free shipping on your order. That's q u i n c e dot com slash bunny b u n n i e to get free shipping and 365 day returns quince.com slash bunny. Resolve to earn your degree in the new year in the bay with WGU with courses available online 24 seven and monthly start dates. WGU with courses available online 24 7 and monthly start dates WGU offers maximum flexibility so you can focus on your future learn more at WGU.edu Hey guys, I need to ask you a question I want to know why and the hell are you not on patreon?

I don't think you guys even realize how much content we have on patreon. Let me break it down for you We have the bunny XO show we have meet the defaults. We have propaganda. We have more shows that we're adding. And not to mention we have the visuals of the confess. Ask, tell, confess. Ask, tell, confess. Hello everybody. Welcome to the Hello everybody. Welcome to As Tale Converse. I never get old. That's literally my favorite thing. Wow.

Never get old. That's literally my favorite thing. I prepare for that. I never know what's coming each week. No, ever. Something different. I don't either. I do it in the moment. I'm just a fucking freestyle.

It's a free brawl. Well, I am not feeling great today. I've been taking iron supplements, trying to get my ferritin levels up, ladies. And let me tell you, it's been a battle. It is not fun. let me tell you it's been a battle. It is not fun. Let me tell you. Excuse me, Jason, bleep that too, please. Make wind chime sounds come out.

No, it's bad. Your girl's struggling over here. And we had to film a podcast today too. I'm like having hot flashes. My fucking key. Okay. I give up. It's the dial. it's the little turny thingy it won't know that oh that thing oh hello still not it's turned what did you do to it oh why are you doing that there we we go. Don't do that. Hello? Don't ever do that.

Okay, hi. We're back. Anyways. Please leave that in there. Hi, friends. Please. Jodgy, get over here. Come on, man.

I'm roaming around. No one's looking down at what I see. Painted faces. and what I see painted faces remember me you know that I get you somebody good I wasn't planned that was a good one it's good all right who's gonna kick this off ask talk about so you got me oh I don't want anyone to take this fucking story you fucking took the story I'm gonna start with so I don't know hold on I gotta look hold on I'll tell you right now if it does hold please I'm just saying y'all can't beat me this week. So I'm a, oh, no, no, you can't beat me this week.

Oh, okay. Challenge accepted. Okay. You know what though? I love that. Ask, tell it confess has inspired so many other people to do little segments. I've seen pretty big creators copying what we're doing and smaller creators. I love it though.

It's awesome. We started to trend guys.. I love it, though. It's awesome. We started to trend. Yeah, we've always done that, though. We never get our flowers, but we are always the OGs. Yes, backs and I will stand on that stand. Oh, well. OK. Charlene said show. I work at a hotel about a three star hotel. Nothing too fancy, but not gross either.

I'm a housekeeper and girls. Let me tell you what these people leave. This one room left their play toys. Oh, yeah, I read this one. I did not read this. I'm talking a dildo bigger than your face and a booty plug about the size of your fist and condoms. Was it a traffic condom? Also, our rule is we have to keep items that the guest

leaves for three months in a box in the back room. Those sit back there in the three months. Then finally, he was able to throw it away. The absolute worst room I had to clean. I'd like for you to make your own assumption on what the use was for. I walk into the room and the floor is kind of slippery. There's a nasty shit smell in there. and I'm thinking the toilet's clogged. I walk to the bed, pull the blanket back, and see two 20 ounce soda bottles coated in

this white stuff not open. Liquid still in, seal not broken. There's a banana unpeeled with the same white stuff. Also, two hangers were broken and coated in this white stuff. Also, our white sheets now smeared in brown. Smelly stuff. Now I gotta go back and get a second pair of gloves to put on and get a trash bag to come pull the blanket farther back. There's more bananas. Unpeeled in a can of cooking Crisco oil gone. I end up throwing all the sheets and blanket away. I go to the bathroom, the door handle is coated

in the Crisco cooking oil. Also, the shower head is detachable because it's handicap room and the shower head and handles were also coated in Crisco oil. I clean out the fridge and freezer, there's another can of oil in the freezer. This person, male, paid cash for the room So you had to leave a cleaning deposit that you get back when you check out if nothing's wrong

And he never came to get the money back. So what do you think was happening in that room? I? Mean obviously it was a butt bongo fiesta. They were just having a party Fiesta they were just having a fucking They were just having a fucking party bongo Yeah, they were having a fucking grand old time. I'm a little bottles I have done some weird shit in hotel rooms that didn't even faze me. Okay, I'm over here the whole time going Chris tell you guys so this one time I was with and We were in it made it into a paparazzi newspaper. I have it or not newspaper fucking a magazine

Was there like everybody was there we were all partying Holly Madison was there Chris angel was there like it was a lot of people in this room. They had this huge fucking shower that like, I don't know why the Palms had this fucking huge shower in the suite, but they did. It was probably half the size of this room. Like, it was a huge shower. The band members took bottles of like baby oil

and put it all over the walls, all on the walls, all on the floor in this bathroom. And like girls were in there just fucking slip and sliding naked. Like it was hilarious. So, I mean, you could have a fucking party with some Crisco too.

It's the same concept. You know, and then maybe just- The coat hangers. We grew up, we got very different. We were always given basket coats. I feel like maybe something got stuck and they used the coat hangers to try to get it out. Yeah, like feel like maybe something got stuck and they used the coat hangers to try to get it out.

Yeah, like a turd or what's the white stuff? Crisco. Yeah. OK, OK. When it dries, it's all white and Crisco's white. Yeah. Think of that poor bananas. Yeah. Oh, what if that got stuck? Because, you know, once it mushes.

Yeah, there's not much. And that can be why the toilet's not really much getting it out. You shit out bananas. Yeah. Ugh. I could not. I could not work. I could not work at motels.

No, you couldn't pay me enough. I wouldn't clean that. I would quit my job that day. This is a fucking health hazard. Get your dollars up with Dollar Up on DraftKings Casino. Hit the reels for a modern take on old school styled slots. New players can play five bucks to get a spin on the mystery wheel for a shot at up to 1,000 in casino credits. Download the app and sign up with code BUNI, B-U-N-N-I-E.

Then play Dollar Up exclusively on DraftKings Casino. The crown is yours. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. In Connecticut, help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org. Please play responsibly. 21 plus, physically present in Connecticut, Michigan, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, West Virginia only. Void in Ontario. Eligibility restriction supply. One per new customer.

Play $5 in spin wheel to receive between $10 and $1,000 in non-withdrawable casino credits. All right, you guys ready? Yeah, I got some good ones. I don't know which one to do first as a bag put as a bag piper. I play many gigs. Recently, I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Kentucky backcountry. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost, and being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions. I finally

arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and the crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave, looked down, and the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play. The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around.

I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I never played before for this homeless man. And as I played Amazing Grace, the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept. When I when I finished, I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car, though my head was hung low and my heart was full. As I was opening my door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, sweet mother of Jesus, I've never seen nothing like that before. And I've been putting in septic tanks for 20 years.

Stop it. What the fuck now? What? He thought it was a coffin. It was a septic tank. Was it in the graveyard? It was they had dug a hole to put the septic tank in and the dude thought it was the homeless man's grave site.

Stop. Why did they cry? Have you ever heard bagpipes play? They will evoke emotion, dude. Man, when we went on our family vacation recently Someone just started playing him outside of our hotel to the sunset. He was just in shots Right bagpipes. It's emotional. Yeah All right. Yeah Clearly never you you know what we need to we're hiring a bagpiper

Her birthday this year you're gonna get woken up with a fucking bagpiper. I'm changing the lock code. No, no. Oh, I know. We're going to surprise you for a week straight. He's going to be in your car. And yeah, just in the backseat. He's stuck to my god. I would never talk to you guys again.

Could you imagine? Never talk to you guys again. All right imagine? Never talk to you guys again. Alright. I'm waking up early on my birthday this year. I'm gonna be like, waiting. Oh, you think we're gonna do it on the actual birthday? No, it's gonna be for like, a quinceanera. I was in Raising Cane's the other day and she had a quinceanera in Raising Cane's.

That's fucking fire. Olivia goes, is that a princess? I said, close. Close. Quinceanita in raising canes. That's fucking fire. Olivia goes, what a princess. Close. Yeah, close. I love that. Yeah. And that's what I would have done if I had one. Little jealous. Listen, your parents are doing it right. If you're having a fucking quinceanita at raising at raising canes. It was great.

Anybody else having hot flashes? Because I am. No, kind of cold over here. Perfect. I like your hoodie. Hey. Yeah, what is it? What is that? What's like it's my Laverne and Shirley patch. Oh, yeah, I know.

You should definitely go on TikTok and just post it. Well, I've got 500,000 views. I feel like we should drop them early. They're not made. Those were samples. Well, I'll put them on back orders. She texts me. She goes, everyone loves these.

I said, what? Go on TikTok. She already unpackaged them, put them on TikTok. I said, nobody told me I couldn't. I said, okay. I saw that comment. You're like, oh, we're just gonna share secrets. All right, I can't say this person's name.

I was hooking up with this guy. He went down on me and he bit my clit. No. I spent the weekend in the hospital after having to have emergency surgery to stop the bleeding because he popped a blood vessel. He was arrested while I was in surgery and it's been almost a year and I still don't have total feeling back in my area down there. Why the fuck would he do that? Was he being mean or did he think he was being sexy? Was it like a the fact that he was arrested, I feel like it was maybe mean.

I feel like it was maybe a grab. I already have to bite. Oh, I couldn't imagine my fucking pussy just tied itself in a knot. Like there's no fucking way. Just got up and left. Mine's inverted. OK, it is fucking it. Mine just got up and left. Mine's inverted. Okay, it is fucking, it's literally just skin now. It's like a Barbie doll.

Yeah, literally. Yeah. Yep. That one was short, sweet, to the point. I appreciate you for sharing that. Wow. That's rough. I feel sorry for you, dude.

You know how many nerves you have in your fucking clit, dude? And now she doesn't have the feeling back? Oh, I'd be pissed. I'd fight a motherfucker, dude. That's all we got is that little bean, man. That's all we got. That's all we got. That's the magic bean, man.

What is that fucking fairy tale, Jimmy and the Beanstalk? Okay, but also how do you right what is it called what is it called James is a giant no that's James what is it you know jack the fucking beanstalk, dude. Don't be, Jack clearly fucked up the beanstalk. That is terrible, dude. God. How do you fix that?

How do you, she probably has PTSD, but a little, I don't know, I don't know. She probably has fucking PTSD, bro. Like that's rough. That's so sad. I feel really bad for her. I'm so sorry for you, whoever you are, man. That's my fucking prayers are with you.

Thoughts and prayers. RIP your clit. Yeah, that was mine. That's the one you thought was going to beat my fucking bagpipes? Yeah. No. Bye. Bye. No. Bye. Bye. No. No.

Not at all. You got your other one? I got two fucking hammers. I have one. Oh, one's a question. Okay, go ahead. We got one more serious. This is for all of us. What's our view on attachment styles and have you read up on your own attachment style? I read that one too, I almost chose that.

Nice, nice. I don't know what that is. I mean, I kind of know what it is. I think I have an avoidant attachment style. You would probably have an avoidant attachment style too. I can see that. What is this? You are fucking codependent and fucking very attached to people.

But the problem is, yeah, once they love you back, they only like two people. Well, the two that I've seen, you have fucking been a Klingon. With the two. Oh, I thought we were talking about just me. No, I'm talking about. And who is the other one? There was one more. I forget, but you were like, it just would not be without them. Yeah.

Who? God, who is the other one? There was one more. I can't think of it right. Oh, fuck. We'll have to get back on that one. I forget there was another one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now, the people are these so bad.

Yeah. Oh, dude. I clown him so bad. It's bad. Well, I mean, he kind of ruined it for himself. Yeah. Is the water gun. It'll fuck it. It's just takes one thing for a guy. One thing a man can put you through fucking hell. Yep. And you literally will tolerate it, tolerate it. And then they do one like weird hand movement or like, I don't even know. Yeah. And fucking that's it.

It's over with. Have you guys seen the like the list of Ix, right? And the guy is like in like he's snorkeling or something. He's like, don't snorkel. The little toes are under the water trying to keep him afloat. And I was like, oh, yeah. Or the guy that was like bouncing on trampolines and his feet when he bounced was like, no, no, you can't do that.

I get it. Or when they wrap their toes around a like chair rail. Oh, I can't do it. I can't do it. But as far as attachment styles, I do think there's truth to them. I don't know enough to like preach on them though. I never. Yeah.

Is there a test we can take? There is. There's a bunch of things. I feel like I've tested for everything else, but that let's all take the test Yeah, we'll take we'll get back to you on that time is definitely not avoidant attachment. No mine is touch me Yeah, I like I want to touch like I attached and want to touch you and hug you and kiss you and smother you Yeah, we like that. Yeah Let's listen to a voicemail. It's only one minute long.

Thank God. I made sure to tell everyone one minute short and sweet. Short and sweet, baby. Yes, I just wanted to call in and tell a story that happened to me and my wife the other day. It was the other morning actually. So we got a new puppy. The puppy pukes in the bed. And then my wife cleaned it up in the middle of the night, which is great and fun. Well, then the next morning, we made very passionate love.

It was great and amazing. And then after we were done, I went and got at the towel to clean everything up, which I didn't know what my wife used to clean the puke up with. So I just grabbed the first towel I saw and went back. There's my wife still just sitting there in a birthday suit. And then so like she's cleaning herself up and all that kind of good stuff. And then I saw like little like pieces and like chunks coming out and then it clicked.

She's using the towel that we clean the puke up with so now she's got puke on her from the dog and then she's like where you get that towel I got it in the bathroom and then she clicked to her and then I was like yeah I think you need to go get a shower now that's it thank you that's fucking hilarious whoever that is whoever that is. I love him. He's awesome. He said, that's it. Thank you. The chunks.

I would say, you guys, that is so disgusting. I would throw up. Yeah. Oh, not puppy puke. Oh, puppy puke is the worst. That was a good one. That was a good story. That was really good. It was really good. I actually had a good story. And that was really good. It was really good. I actually had a situation where one time I was like,

you know, like when you're laying in bed and fucking all, you know, you're waking up and you're discombobulated or whatever. I was so drunk the night before and I woke up and I was so parched. Like I just needed water terribly. Right. So I reached next and get a water bottle and fucking this is before I was doing the crack thing and I go and I drink and when I swallow, I feel like a big ass just slimy something

go down my throat. And when I did it, my ex was like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, that's the fucking bottle that I spit a loogie in last night. Yeah, it was just terrible. bottle that I spit a loogie in last night. Yeah, this was terrible. Imagine how I felt, bitches. It was fucking rough. I'm going to throw up.

Yeah, it was bad. It tasted like I swallowed an oyster. That was the worst story ever. You had to share. Just had to share. Yeah, I've got more where that came from. Let's end it. We're done. Guys, I'm done. We'll see you guys next week.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye.