Dumb Blonde - Ask, Tell, Confess: Cheating, Backstabbing, & Stories That Crossed Every Line

Episode Date: March 20, 2026

On this episode of Ask, Tell, Confess, the gang spirals (fast) into absolute chaos. From catching a cheating baby daddy on camera to friends stealing and crossing lines you don’t come back from, the betrayal stories are WILD. Add in unhinged pranks, a pocket bullet gone wrong, and a front yard incident that’ll have you questioning everything… yeah, it gets feral.They close it out with nostalgic, cringe-worthy throwbacks—childhood trauma, middle school madness, and the kind of stories you won't believe actually happened. No filters, no shame, just straight Coven chaos.Watch Full Episodes & More: YouTubeSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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best Ash to Go ahead. Hello, friends. Welcome back to another Asktel fan. That's funny.

How's everybody doing? We're batch filming right now. Guess what I'd see you guys in forever. I know. You are number two on the New York Times bestseller and you are number one in audio. Damn. week for you guys.

Yay. Number two, baby. I'll take it. Yeah. First, the worst, second, the best. Let's go. Who's number one? I don't know.

Look. Well, I can't. Yeah, it's not published. Yeah. We had the inside. Damn, three weeks on the New York Times bestseller. Let's fucking go. Let's go.

Crazy. I love that. Number one in audio. Yay. Number one in audio, baby. We're still number one. That's awesome, dude. I can't.

Crazy. I think, honestly. more people enjoyed listening to you read it after reading it. So like a lot of people read it and then saw the reviews of how good the audio was and then listened to it again after already reading it. And everyone says it is truly like a storytelling when you hear your voice say it. I love that. I didn't know this, but at the time until right before we recorded,

but you can win a Grammy for narrating a book. Yes. Yeah. So I hope that's, I just want to put it in the air that I would love to win a Grammy. for the book. That would be amazing. How do you even top that? How do you even write another book?

Literally. New York Times bestseller three weeks in a row fucking, and number one audio and then a Grammy. Crazy. Crazy, dude. I don't know. Thank you, Jesus. I am blessed.

I'm thankful for that. All right. Well, I had posted on the Dumb Blonde podcast Facebook page. I saw, I think it was like, I don't know, it was one of these social media. like shade room or something like that had posted this and I was like oh this is a great topic it's what's the grimy as shit a friend ever did to you let me hear y'all's stories and you guys left a bunch of stories so who wants to kick this one off yeah I'll go go ahead me I really hope

you guys don't take this one anymore I've got a few so you better not take line this person said they um her friend flew across the country to visit her she drank every drop of booze in her apartment, went outside to have a smoke, and proceeded to have a loud video sex with her boyfriend on the lawn of her building where 15 other tenants were living. She told my neighbor, this guy pounded her so good that her puss looked like ground beef. Okay. Damn. Dude must have been packing a powerful punch. Gosh. How do you make it look like ground feet? That means she had an outie. That means she had an outy and it just got pounded and a ground beast roast beast okay yeah they've got the meats good for her good for her that's great who just shares that piece of information with a neighbor i would yeah i would that's

totally something i would do and say i don't i wouldn't do the whole phone sex thing outside but wait they were having phone sex or real sex like video phone sex but how did he pound her out well just like yeah share the info with the neighbor okay yeah love that for her i mean free spirit her. I like it. All right, I'll go next. These are going to go by quick guys because they weren't like really long and intricate, but quick and easy. Slobbed on my baby's father's, hold on. Kelly said, sloved on my baby's father while I was in the shower. I felt something before. So my crazy ass put my phone on voice record and caught it all. This was like 15 years ago. and somebody in the comments had got their asses.

She said, and I did. And then she said, the crazy part was he tried to deny it for two hours afterwards. I'm confused. Okay, so she had a feeling that there was something going on between her and her friend and her baby daddy. And before she went in the shower, she set her phone in the room and hit voice record and caught him getting his knob slobbed by her. And he tried to deny it. I read that in her perspective. Yeah.

I thought she just recorded her. Okay, got it now. Yeah, yeah. The amount of people who submitted their friends sleeping with their baby daddies, their husbands, their boyfriends, their best, like every single one. Crazy. I don't think I've ever done that. I think I've ever done that to somebody. Let me think really hard.

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No, I never slept with anybody's like baby daddy or their significant other. It never made me feel good. Oh, well, that was unintentional though. So I didn't know the girl. I didn't know the girl. But I was in like when I was with my ex and I write about it in the book. I didn't know about his girlfriend until after we had already been together. So yeah.

It's always been unintentional. I've never pursued any of my friends, boyfriends once because I've never found any of them attractive and it would never do that but two it's just like I would feel terrible you know going after a friend's sloppy getting sloppy seconds like I'm too alpha for that too there's no way I would never do that hated it hated it have you guys fucked friends not a friend no me he said not a friend well it's like it's tricky because Jason was talking to my best friend when we met but they we're like ending it. So like that's how we connected was over the fact that.

Did you and your friends still say friends after you and Jason? No, because I found out that she was like telling Jason my life story. Oh, that was the one that was. Yeah. Oh, the crazy one. We were best friends like and me finding out that she was telling things to him of my perspective. It kind of pissed me off.

It's not really a friend. I don't know if that would piss you off, but like weird you out. Yeah, it was very. She was trying to pretend she was your life. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So he had fallen for her.

thinking he was falling for me like you know like because like once we met and I was saying he was so confused he was like no no no wait she told me that exact story but from her point of view and I was like no no no that's my point of view and so that's what we actually ended up bonding over and then we just continued our talking from there yeah wild yeah so really he did like me seen her or heard oh yeah yeah yeah I mean we were kids we were 18 19 years old like we were doing dumb shit I get it It's whatever. You know, it was kind of like a catfishing moment. And we didn't talk for like five years, I think.

And now we're more like friends on Instagram than we are friends. Yeah. I did dumb shit when I was a kid. I mean, we all have, hello. I wrote a whole book about it. It's a New York Times bestseller. When I went back home this past week, I got to meet up with two of my really good friends from high school.

And we all just kind of sat there and like talked about when we'd sneak out of high school. And I had a gold PT cruiser. and we'd hide in the trunk. I wrecked one. The one I drove through Del Taco was a gold P.P. Cruiser. That's, we were meant to be friends. Yes. I wrecked mine too.

That's hilarious. That is so funny. That's a Del Taco. That's so funny to me. Hey, we're going to be in Cali that Del Taco's out there. When my period starts, let's have a Del Taco night. Oh, please. Can't wait.

A taco movie night. Cup of fries. Let's do it. All right, go. Hey, hey. Okay. Lori says, going through the Jack in the Box drive through at 2 in the morning, my guy friend

tried to lunge over me to attack the dry-through cashier because there was pickles on his burger. I get it. I get it. Why would you be mad at him? Why would you end a friendship? He just likes what he likes. I don't know. And if you guys are shit-faced, you can't hold that against him.

I mean, yes, he is showing violent tendencies, but I think if you could channel that into a more productive, you know, conduit, um, I can't believe you just said this story. My two friends I told you I met up with. Yeah. She got mad at her boyfriend in the drive-thru. and ripped his keys out of the ignition, but it broke the ignition, and she threw them into the jack in the box,

through the drive-thru window, and the car was stalled there. And it took us like two hours to get the car out of the drive-thru. While you were there? They were arguing while we're getting our food. Right, like recently? No, no, no, when we were kids.

Okay, okay. Did you guys still eat the food? They wouldn't give us the food. Oh, no. They were so mad at us because they had to shut their whole drive-thru down. And the guys, like, literally, I'm calling the cops. like what the fuck would you like us to do it's broken down two hours and we ended up just getting like a jack

and why didn't you guys just put it in neutral and push it out of the ignition was completely broken locked so you could not do anything at all to this car and yeah we had to end up jacking it up putting the wheels on like those things that move the car around and pushing it out damn it goes down in the drive-thru who would have fucking thought what drive-thruly jack-in-the-box that's wild that's what i was like that's crazy i never like i used to love jack-in-the-box and then One night I was coming home from dancing and got an ultimate cheeseburger. Woke up the next morning had fucking the worst food poisoning I've ever had in my life besides the sushi that I had one time. And I have never been a Jack in the Box fan after that.

They're little tacos, though. The little tacos are good. Talkers are fire, bro. Never been a fucking Jack in the Box fan after that. Huge a jack in a box. I'll fucking eat Del Taco all day long, though. That's how I got pregnant with cash. Love it.

All right. Who's going next? Me. go ye old ho so this one said that she had a friend tell her that she could store all her stuff in her garage the friend then turned around and sold it all like brand new stuff's cut out the burp no please leave it in leave the burping stop it just kept rolling up like brand new stuff still in boxes pots pan dishes cricket machine coach bag etc she lied about it when i couldn't when oh she kept lying about when i could come get it and kept putting me off until I just went ahead and stopped by.

Her husband told me months later that she stole all my stuff before kicking him out. What is a cricket machine? Like one of those sticker cutters? Yeah, I don't even know what that is. It was the only thing I got. The cricket machine? Yeah, like that you put in like the little stickers, like how you monogram like tumblers and shit.

Gotcha. Yeah. I know nothing. All her stuff. A machine that makes crickets like the bugs. Okay. All right. Go ahead.

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Yeah. I don't care. Not my show. There was this family feud in my small town and they let this guy store all the stuff in his barn and he kept telling the dude to come get it and the guy didn't so he burnt down the barn with all the guy's stuff in it. What the hell? And it's still a family feud to this day and it was like grandpa's like they've now since

passed but like it's generationally like this guy does not like this guy because grandpa set the barn on fire with all my grandpa stuff in it. What that happened? I know, right? That's great. Yeah. And so he tried to call the cops, and cops were like, it was his stuff on his property. Damn.

What the fuck? Moral of these stories is don't leave your shit with other people. Yeah, you can't, dude. All right, you want to go? Okay. You got one. A longer one. This is from Tina.

Hey, Tina. With a A. Oh. I do have one kind of grimy story from my 20s. I grew up in a small town and always struggled with insecurity, never thinking I was much to look at. When I moved to Sacramento, I had a friend I used to go clubbing with, always insisted on picking my outfits and doing my makeup because she said she wanted me to look cute years later she admitted she was actually trying to make me look ugly so guys wouldn't notice me

because she was jealous looking back that's pretty grimy i feel like so many people have these friends that were just like jealous of them and trying to like make ass friends what a bitch i'd be fucking pissed bro i would be fucking pissed and you openly admit that like i don't know some of these people just are not good humans. They're a really bad human out there. Anytime I did friends makeup to go out, it was always fucking beat and I would do mine in five minutes. Yeah.

So I had. But you always look flawless. So mad. I know she's literally perfect. All right. This one was a little crazy, but Amy Lynn said, legit stuck a pocket bullet in my butt when I was asleep and it got stuck. No lie.

It was vibrating in me, but I couldn't get it out. It was super loud too. never shared a bed again. How the fuck did she even get in your asshole? Were you sleeping naked? I was going to say, I would feel, I would feel anything. Yeah. Were you sleeping naked?

Was your asshole fucking exposed to the elements? Like, what is happening? Were you sleeping with it like spread? I sleep. Very clinched, I feel like. Like, how did they pull your pants down and you didn't fucking feel that? Yeah. I would definitely feel something entering my ass.

You're not getting something up my ass that easily. And if it's vibrating, how do it have been vibrating going in? Yeah. So I like, I have so many questions. Not that I'm doubting the story, but I'm like, dude, did your asshole just, also, I wonder if they were like drunk or something. I was going to say. And that'd be the only explanation.

Yeah. I wouldn't feel something as if I was like, blackout drunk. I don't know. I've been pretty fucking shit-faced and I know what's going in my asshole. You know? I don't know. I think we need more to that story. Yeah.

I need more, more, more, uh, T. on that. All right, go ahead. All right. This one's short and sweet. She shit in my front yard. Okay.

I'd be upset if someone shit in my front yard too. I would fucking laugh so hard. I would not care if my friend shit in my front yard. I think it would be hilarious. I think it's more embarrassing for them. Yeah. Why are we shitting in people's yards? I don't know.

I used to dare friends to shit in and out boxes. So it didn't, that would not phase me. Yeah. Purses. in and outboxes. I can confidently say as a friend group

we didn't really do much shitting. Fame. I loved poop. Poop makes people laugh. I love a good poop story. How you do? I do. I love the story.

Like poop pranks are fucking funny. Can I read and Astell confess that someone gave to me specifically because it had to do with poop? Yeah. All right here it goes. She's like I got it locked and loaded. I do.

It literally says, Hey ladies, this is a tell just for Haley. It involves poop. and butholes. So my boyfriend likes for me to wear a strap on and peeing his butthole from time to time. Okay, no biggie. It is a little awkward, but whatever, he likes it.

Well, where the situation comes in is that when his prostate is stimulated and he comes from the stimulation, he shits all over the place. Full blown, hot, ooey-gooey, ripe ass shit, blowing out his ass-o. Ui-Gooey? Who describes poop as Ui-Gooey? I describe brownies as Ui-Gooey-Gooey. not shit. I don't like

ooey-goey. The last time we did this, there was shit all over the bed, his ass, me, the strap on. Why are they doing it so much? Why is it a repeated?

I like that was the last time. Why is it a repeated adventure? Do they think it's going to get better every time? Maybe it hits like a reflex in his butthole and if he can finally release everything. He needs to do an enema. Before. No,

literally I'm reading down more and it says, uh, I have told him going forward If he ever wants his butthole poked again He will need to clean it out first Enema's are your friend Amy Thanks Amy

I didn't need the ooey gooey The ui-gooey The adjectives you use for wild Listen after the first time Somebody just shits ooey-gooey turds everywhere I'm gonna not want to fuck them With a strap on I would get the ick so bad

Yeah like there's no way dude I'm having a hard time with that one, guys. I should have read it first. I feel like there should have been. I should have read it first. Someone gave that to you? All I said, all I heard was this one's just for Haley. It's about poop and butt holes.

I said, I'm in. You said, done. screenshot it. Yeah, that was mine. I did. That's wild. Yeah. I feel like what does that cleanup process look like?

Don't know. Throw everything away. I want to know. Does it give it? into the mattress. I would throw everything away. I feel like, do you put a liner on the mattress? Because I towel down.

How do you scoge off of that? Imagine her knees down and then like there's pooper and she's got to scoge off the bed. Or do you just whip the leg off? And the fucking strap on is just flop around. They're like limp noodles. Ugh. Just fling and poop everywhere. Kelly said I took a potato peeler and went up and down my ex-boyfriend.

My ex-boyfriend's, new girlfriend's car and he didn't know I knew about her but she knew about me then I poured nail polish remover and other stuff all over the cars I picked him up from work and he asked me about the cars I just turned the tears on and said how would I know where she lived how how he still doesn't he still doesn't know I did it and he had to pay for the car to get fixed do not mess with a redhead we always win so we went after the new girlfriend because she knew about her. Oh.

I feel like what the cars do to you? You know? The car didn't deserve that. I think destroying people's personal property, not saying I haven't done it. I have done it plenty of times growing up. But now that I own stuff and actually have stuff, like it's really different to like destroy somebody's property.

You can't. It just made me real empathetic towards that car. It's just letting you know. I'm getting very sad over here. Same. I was thinking of our guy, uh, fucking, The robot? The robots.

Stop. Bumblebee. I saw a TikTok that said, do you guys ever get sad leaving your old car at the dealership? And they don't know it's the last time you're going to drop them off and they don't know you're leaving them? No. No. No, because I'm going to pick my car up. Is it when you sell it?

A new car. No, yeah, getting a new car. No. He's going to make new memories for a new family. Like when I dropped off my old car What if it goes and gets smush? At the junkyard? I've never dropped anything off at the junkyard.

That would make me sad. She didn't have a front windshield. Well, yeah, the hood came back and smash my windshield while I was driving. It was like in the beginning of our work relationship. No, it was the end of 2019. So it was like a few months after our first. That's why you got her car.

I don't remember. I didn't drive for six months after that actually. I remember. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I remember the hood came up and smashed her windshield.

That's fucking traumatized. I didn't remember the circumstances, but I remember I was just like, Haley, why are you fucking Ubering everywhere? I was scared to drive. Yeah, that was traumatizing. And look at you now. You fucking drive everywhere. You drive home every freaking weekend.

I didn't curbs. Not even looking. That's wild. All right, what do you guys got for me? So she said when I was in middle school, I was asleep at a friend's house on a Friday night, and the next morning there was a glass cup sitting on the shelf. I thought it looked like apple juice. So I asked her if it was apple juice and asked if I could.

could have a sip. She said yes. When I took a sip, it turned out to be a cup full of piss. That's terrible. I mean, not seen bench warmers? That's terrible. Not apple. Why would you say yes? That's terrible. Why would you say yes? But why would you? I can never do that to somebody, dude. Absolutely not. It's so gross. I mean, yeah, that's another thing. But they're like, if, I don't know, messing with people's food, man. That is a 100%. I will fucking break your face. If you do something like that. Like, there's no way. No. I'm so weird already about like being poisoned or fucking drugs in my water or anything like that. There's no way. If somebody had me drink piss, I would get extremely violent. I would be very violent. Anything poop pee? No. No, you can't do that to people. Like that one lady who put poop in her boyfriend's brownies. Like come on, man. Like not okay. Stop. Stop, stop, stop. That's so rough. Yeah. Friends should never do that to somebody. I mean, obviously look at fucking traumatize this girl. Yeah. That's a middle school.

Still, middle schoolers are the worse, man. They are. Like, I feel like they literally turn evil in middle school. Dude, they gave me a fucking training bra and dog treats for my birthday. And I never forgot. You didn't know that? Yeah. Yeah.

They said, I was so ugly. They gave me dog treats and a training bra because I didn't have any boobs for my birthday. All the boys did. Sixth grade is when I stopped wearing shorts because I wore shorts one time to school. And this boy named Tim pointed. and gagged and was like, oh my God, she's wearing shorts. I didn't wear shorts for 17 years after that. Oh, my God.

And where the fuck is he at now? Exactly. Let's look him up. Oh, I know exactly where he is. We're friends on Facebook. Since we like looking people up. Kids. I don't care.

We don't like to. I'm not a grudge. We've got a grudge with him. Yeah. All right, guys, we love you so much. Talk to you later. Bye, bye. Bye.