Dumb Blonde - Ask, Tell, Confess: I Bought a Roll-Royce...Then a House in LA

Episode Date: August 1, 2026

Ask, Tell, Confess is live from LA, baby.Bunnie and the crew break down their latest LA adventure—from buying her dream Rolls Royce (Snow White) and moving into their new LA compound to 3 A.M. grilled cheese side quests and strip club nights that only got wilder.Then it's time for your strip club confessions. Bunnie, Meme, Hailee, and Jaime react to your wildest stories, proving once again that y'all have no business keeping secrets. We laughed, we cringed, and we were genuinely speechless.If you've ever fallen for a dancer, made one questionable decision after another, or have a strip club story you've never told out loud... this episode is for you. Watch Full Episodes & More: YouTube

Ask tell confess. Tell confess. And on tonight's news. Breaking news from L.A. You guys. Hello, France. Haley. Chill.

Chill, bro. I literally didn't. I saw what you do. Tilled your mic towards you. Yeah, there you go. All right. What's up, guys? We're in L.A.

We just got done doing a podcast. Of course, Mimi has me working on our vacation, but it's okay. We needed a break. We needed some normalcy, right? You know, we did. Feels like home. Yeah.

Bro, should we talk about our week that we've been having in L.A.? Are we allowed to? Why the fuck aren't we? We can bleep whatever. Yeah. The whole podcast. The whole leap, beep, beep, beep, beep.

Okay, so I didn't mean like that. And then she busted it right open. I didn't mean like that. I meant like, let's talk about we, we fucking added a new addition to the family. We did. Snow, motherfucker, white baby is made every headline in america okay i just need to let you guys know your girl came to

l.A for the past 10 days and i needed a vacation we have been having a blast but the car has been in the works for a year yeah this wasn't just this trip yeah so i literally have been planning on buying a rolls royce calling in since last year it was going to be my ivf present to myself because of all the shit I had to go through. And it just so happens that it landed at this time in my life. Okay? It has nothing to do with anything having to do with that part of my life. It literally was a present to myself for getting through the IVF and just kind of like a celebratory gift that I wanted to do. So would you deserve? Yeah. So that's why we have her and we named her snow white. And I just, dude, she is lush. She purrs like a fringe.

She's smooth. Yeah, it's very, very smooth. Yeah. Like if milk was a car. Oh, yeah. Cremé. What do they call that Spanish? Cremma.

Cremma. Cremma. Cremma. Yeah, no, it's so good. And I'm just so thankful that I am in a position to be able to afford that vehicle. But it has been my dream car. And now I don't ever have to buy any other car. I have good.

All the cars that I could possibly want. Yeah. They're all so pretty. We've been out here just, what else have we been doing, dude? Just live in life. We have been having... Be an degenerate. Yeah.

Like, I haven't drink this much. Same. It's... Yeah. Yeah. You remember that time like a couple weeks ago when I said I would never drink again? Yeah, I remember that.

And here we are. I knew we would be here. We're going home to Nashville just to get better. Like we have... I need to heal. Yeah. We're only going back home for a week, though, and then we're back in L.A. Because why?

Got a house, guys. We bought an L.A. House, baby. We got L.A. Compound. L. LA compound. I'm so excited. You guys know I've been wanting a West Coast house forever. I had one in Vegas and it just Vegas, I don't know, just isn't me anymore. So I've been trying to slowly make my way to Cali and here we are, baby. So we found the dopest little crib. It's not

perfect. So perfect. We found the dopest crib out here on a really good part of town. And so we are going to be West Coast and baby a lot. We're back. We're back. We're back. Look at us. Look at us. Look at us. Yeah. I'm so happy. though. This week's been really awesome. It's just been like as much as it's been like us fucking going going going and just like doing everything that we've ever dreamed of, it's still been like a recharge for the soul. It's been fun. Our little crew we have too like just making like desserts at 2 a.m. And stuff and like trying to cook. Yeah. The cookie saga was like a 48 hour adventure of trying to figure out how to make cookie bowls. Yeah. You know, at the end guys, it really did work out. Yeah. Yeah.

really did. No, I was, they looked We've had movie nights, like, yeah. It's been fine. It was very healing. I had a moment the other day. We were all out on the back porch, and it was like, everyone was laid out in the sun together, and we were looking over L.A. and I just, like, we were all laughing and having a really good time. I got a little teary. I was like it's so beautiful. Don't be gay.

Sorry, gay. Sorry, don't be gay. It's, um, it's just been such a special time, you know, because I, I feel like I'm living more now in the moment than I ever have. I don't even post half the shit. I don't post anything we do. No, we're not posting. No one knows what we're doing. Nobody knows what we're doing.

And I fucking love it here. Quiet on the creek. Yeah. I'm just so, it's been, it's been awesome. Yeah, we've stayed very quiet,

even in our stories. Yeah. Like, normally we all live in our stories. Yeah. This has been so. Just like like, like,

matcha, selfie. Yeah. Five percent of, mine's like outfit check. That's it. Yeah. It's really cool to, we're not living in our phones.

We're living in our phones. We're living in moment and I really enjoy it. It's a beautiful, it's been a beautiful time and I love living like this and I think that I would not want to spend it with anybody else but you guys. Stop. She's going to fucking cry. I'm fine. I'm a little more so. I'm going to start my period. Hold on. The theme of today's episode is also inspired by our trip. It is. Should we talk about it? Let's talk about it. All right. So the other night, we went to this honky tonk that's out here in L.A. that we had a fucking black

at, shall we shout them out? What is it called? Well, I don't want people going. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, never mind. Never mind. I went back. It's our safe space. But we went to this bar that we are going to leave unnamed because we don't want people to take it over and because we'll probably always be there. But it reminded us of home and we had so much fun. It was a blast. And as we were leaving, we passed, Haley went off on a side quest. Her news, her new side quest as she goes to fucking for a grilled cheese at 3 a. Guys, the grog cheese is hold on. Ridiculous.

Okay. Okay. No, guys, the grilled cheese is so far. I'm going to have one multiple times. Like, she has to have a fucking grill cheese every night. And so we were driving by, and it was so funny because Motley Cruz, Girls, Girls, Girls, Girls was playing the day before. And he talks about the Seventh Vale in Girls, Girls, Girls, Girls.

And I looked at somebody, I can't remember who it was. And I was like, a seventh veil even opened still? And the person was like, no, it's been closed down. And I was just like, oh, okay. we literally drive it's two o'clock in the morning we drive by seventh veil and I'm like seventh veil is open I'm like dude let's go in there and make it rain on somebody right me me me me Jaime and a couple other people go into seventh veil and we walk in there nobody's in there not one fucking person nobody guys not one person just us but as soon as I walk in

I see this haughty who's this blonde chick and she was so banging dude so pretty so beautiful and we we're sorry, Haley, okay? Yeah, so Haley wasn't with us, but just listen to the story. So anyways, the theme of this, this trip somehow became Frank Sinatra's New York, New York. And I won't go any further than that. It's the rocked. And so we wanted this girl to dance for two songs and we were going to bless her with, you know, like a thousand bucks to just go on stage and dance two songs for us. So I picked Young Dolph Major and then New York, New York by Frank Sinatra.

And this girl gets up there. She dances. And I'm telling you, I have never thought that Frank Sinatra's song could be so sexy. And she was like shaking her ass to New York, New York. And it was so hot, dude. It was magical. We were literally just making it rain. I almost saw it in slow motion.

Yeah. She's upside down on the pole. And her ass cheeks are clapping on the pole. And we're making it. rain on top of her to New York, New York. And it's just, these dollar bills are just falling so slowly. Sounds magical. I know. She's just clicking her heels. Yeah. Okay. Love a good heel click. I miss her. It was hot. We got to go back and see her. No. Like, can we please? Because I was I think her name was cinnamon. Um, she was so hot, gorgeous, beautiful. Well, anyways, we got

home and we told Haley about it because she was on her side quest. And of course, Haley was upset and fucking was mad that we had gone without her. So the other night, we were at home just having like a game night and like eating and just like I don't know we have a really good time we just having a blast and um we I'm like dude let's take haley says we're going to kidnap her and take her to seventh bail she goes let's blindfold haley I think somebody else came up with the blindfold we won't say any name I was like what's happening right now so we all hop in fucking snow white and we head down to seventh bail Haley has no idea where we're going but we as we turn in we park in the back parking lot. We walk up and she's like, I fucking knew it.

And of course, security knows us there now. So they were all sweet to us. So sweet. Love that. Yeah. And so we walk in and the girl that wasn't there, the girl that was there the first night wasn't there. But go ahead, Haley, take over from here. We picked out another girl who was cute and go to the DJ booth and I gave him two songs. Which were? And Bustin by Moneybag Yo. And And what's the other one? Rich, rich bitch. R&B by Dolf, of course, because I miss major.

Yeah. And yeah, then we sat down and waited for her. A little awkward at first, not going to lie, I didn't know what to do. I just kind of sat there. You look like you knew what to do. No, ma'am. No, no, no. Let's talk about the fact that you, she was on the stage for 2.5 seconds and he blew half the wad.

I didn't know what else to do. You panicked. Because I was, it was awkward. She goes, Haley, chill. There's two songs. I said, hey, do I just sit there? Don't blow your wad. I kept, I kept asking everyone.

I was like, give me your wad, give me your wad. Well, because it just felt awkward just sitting there and not making it rain. Yeah, she's like the swigginberries. What do you call a woman's parts? Me? Me? What? I thought she was looking at me saying, what do you call a woman's parts?

No, what do you call a woman's party? Wait, twigginberries. I know. That's why I'm going to rename it. So I said, what do you call them? The Grand Canyon? Dang. I almost want to call it Twainterries.

I was a big Grand Canyon, dude. She was hot, though. She was. Oh, she was so hot. Yeah. She was sweet. She was really nice, yeah. So we did it again.

So we made it rain and then we left. We literally go in for two songs. We were all in sweats. I was in Ugs. Yeah. Ugs. Yeah. I almost wore slippers.

I don't know. L.A. has just been so fucking magical for us, dude. It's been. a rebirth and I am thrilled. He goes, should I change my shoes? And he had the Playboy slippers on? He said, no, I wore my slippers to the Red Light District and Amsterdam. You should at least wear yours.

He wouldn't do it. I'm scared. No, they're a little loose. I don't want to lose one in there. Yeah, I get it. I get it. I'm walking out of the street clothes with once. Just one slipper.

I get scared. If the bottoms are thin, you know, you don't know if you step on something. I never know. Exactly what you said. You were like, where's my shoes? I'm like, just go out of this. You said, no, I might step on a hyperthermic needle. This is L.

I never know. You know what? You never know. It's been wild. Amber saw someone shit on the sidewalk. I also saw that. I think she was a little, she was a little traumatized.

No, I saw a human shit on the sidewalk. No, she watched somebody spread it and shit. I saved her. We walked by. It was us. I wasn't even there the first night.

If you would have slipped in someone's human shit in your platforms, I would have lost it. It was slippery. I would have just put me in the coffin right there. No. I'll fucking throw out. Like,

there's so much land. Why do you have to pick the side? It's so much land. It wasn't even the side of the sidewalk. There's so much real estate that you could drop a deuce in and you're just fucking trying to shit on a fucking sidewalk. We were at Rodeo drive the other day and this woman was spread eagle. I looked over. She's sitting on the steps.

Did anyone else see her just spread eagle on the steps? I did. On the right? On the right. I did. I said, look at that lady. Well, shit. You got to yell that louder.

I mean. Yeah, it was there. You were there. She's spread eagle on those steps. Yep. Straight spread. I must have. Like naked?

No. No. No. Oh, there's something there. It was like her lunch break. Like clam chowder? Yep. Is that what we should call it?

Clam chowda. Instead of taking the clam chowder. Her little clam chowder was hanging out. Not the chowda. I know a guy. I know a guy. All right. That being said.

We're L.A. hoes now, baby. Okay. Oh, what else? I was just going to say, we're going to ask you guys about what your favorite stripper story was. Yes. Oh, sorry. I'm excited. I'm excited.

This isn't my set. I'm tearing it down. Use some people over. Yes. So somebody came up with the idea yesterday. Haley. Yeah. Best or worst strip club story and you guys, of course, delivered.

Instagram. You can just DM us. We always ask in our stories. What you guys are going to be a part of us to confess with. Just always put ATC in front of it and hopefully your story will get read. We got some good ones, guys. I did. Wait, wait.

Jaime has a stripper story. He would like to share with everyone. I do. I'll kick us off. Yeah, you kick us off. Okay, where was I? Oh, shout out Mobile, Mobile, Alabama. Oh, this is a good one.

Yeah, was out there. It was after a show, somebody's idea, didn't know whose it was, went out there and it seemed fun, but I think the girl trying to hit on me may have been her first day. Oh, no. Now what indicates that to me is that I definitely saw a large manager looking dude like whispering to her

and pointing at me and she just seemed very shy. She kind of just came up with her arms kind of crossed. She's like, hey. And I'm like, hey. And I'm like, what's up? She's like, how are you? I'm good. And after like two minutes, I think she kind of got weird and then kind of walked away.

But I thought it was, it was, it may have been me. Hi, man, you don't get very, like, stripper. That wasn't giving, like, come sit on my lap. What do I do? It wasn't given, like, I'm about to check off my whole fucking college fund on you. Yeah. And I think I gave her the $40 I had and just was like, here you go. Without her dancing?

Yeah. No wonder she left. It was her first day. Aw. Was it your first day? I'm a little confused here. It was one of those where no one was in there. We were the only ones in there.

And you can tell she just maybe got off the lunch or I don't know what was going on. Would she smell like? She smelled nice. Only Jaime would have an awkward out so I get a strip club story. But she was sweet. And yeah. All right. Well, I don't, this one's a little bit raunchier and it has to do with me.

I didn't remember it. I don't know. It's very personal. so I don't know if we're going to air it. Oh, okay. So one of my exes rode in, and they were like, when you fucked me on the floor of OGs, literally in the middle of the club, that story will live forever.

How am I ever supposed to forget that shit? I remember you stood up and my come went everywhere. You're a monster. And then I said, wait, I go tell me the whole story so I can tell it. So let's hear what it says. Yeah, you probably don't remember. You called me in the club. I came in the club. You sat me in the middle of the floor of O.G.'s on the big floor in the middle, like smack center at one of those round tables with the two chairs. And you came over and you straddled me and you just like, we were sitting there talking and it turned me on. And you fucking fuck me in front of everybody. You rode me in front of everybody. It was honestly, it was a lot of fun. He said, I kind of liked it.

We might have to chop that up a little bit. Can we distort his voice so it sounds like somebody else? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Make it like a really deep. Yeah, like it's like one of those like FBI informants. Can we please do that? Okay. Yeah.

Jason do that. So yeah, your girl has a couple. I have quite a few strip clip stories I can tell, but I just figured I would kick it off with that one. That's beautiful. I want to read mine because. You know, I told you I like sex in public. I've told you guys that. You do.

You do. This one says that you. used to work as a dancer. When I was 18 until I was 21, I will never forget one of the girls was giving him a man at lap dance. She was grinding on him so hard, and we all knew that she was going to get paid. She was on the couch next to me halfway through the song. She started to scream bloody, curdling murder. Her clip piercing got stuck in the guy's zipper. An ambulance was called. Lights went on and there they were. In their finest moment, the man grabbed her outfit to cover his face while the paramedics removed her piercing for free

from his zipper. Oh my God. That is rough, dude. I've never seen the strip club with the lights on. I don't think of it. Yeah. I feel like everyone scatters like cockroaches. Yeah, lights come on.

Imagine being stuck there and you can't move. It's like, what's that one movie we watched with Cameron Diaz? Oh, something about Mary. Yeah. Yeah. Fantastic. Or no, that's the sweetest thing. thing yeah yeah yeah yeah oh my god that's wrong dude that made me hurt thinking about that

i can't do it i'm clenching can't do it cotton what can't do it capon you can't do it capon you can't you can't pierce your clit that's a genuine question yeah like you know what's crazy though like some people were had it the other night really yeah some people they like pierced the hood almost it's not so much like but yeah if you do it wrong and you go to like a nod as experienced person, you can lose all feeling in it, or it can over-stimulate it and you're constantly stimulated. You can just sit there and orgasm. Are there anyone in LA that?

Can do this. Making an appointment. I'm already, okay. All right. Okay. All right. I have a short one, short and sweet. Short can.

I fell asleep at a strip club in Vegas. My head rested on the stage. Woke up to a dancer aggressively clapping her heels over my head, screaming, I'm going to come. That's it. Okay. That's giving Jaime. What, clapping the heels? No, you would fall asleep on the stage.

Yeah. He'd be like, I kind of don't want to be here. Yeah. I take a nap here. I'm a little hungry. Yeah. Like, how are you going to come to someone that's just sleeping? I mean, I think she might have been acting or jazzing it up for the...

It woke him up. Maybe that's why she did it. Yeah, I get it. Just to wake him up. That last night, the girl didn't click her heels. I was waiting for it. I did not get a heel clip. I was a little upset about it.

She barely got naked, guys. The one before that though was like upside down on it. Yeah, I wish I would have. Probably because I threw half my load on her, that's up that. Half my stack. Half your load on her? Mm-hmm.

All right, anyway, who's next? This one got me. One of the worst strip club stories I've personally witnessed, a girl that was clearly on drugs and didn't have the best hygiene, sat next to me and three other dancers in the locker room and bragged that she

found $100 she must have made the other night in a private room. She found it lodged inside her vagina. Found it three days later. She said she must have not realized the customer shoved a dinner. She told me this story seven years ago and I'm still so traumatized. How do you not feel that? I mean, what, you know? Well, they can get pretty small when you crumple them on, crumple them up. I mean, if a girl had a frog and her pussy, if a girl had a frog and didn't know, and, you know, I don't know. I could feel a tampon. I would rage if I found fucking money in my vagina, dude.

With her nails out there trying to grab. Yeah, I can. I can. She'd probably make us grab it. No. She would. It wouldn't happen. It wouldn't happen.

You would make me look in there. Yeah, you would. I would be holding the flashlight like I did for my dad. Earlier, as you're walking out of the room, she just looks at me and she goes, I said, do you want to fuck? Drops the towel. She's like, I've been waiting.

I thought you never ask. I'm in my prime right now. It was crazy. She's ovulating right now. She has to be. It was crazy. I am ovulating. Yeah.

Good times. Good times. I'm going to take a little dark turn here. Oh, fuck. I know. Sorry, guys. I actually know this person. They said, I have one for you.

I took a friend of the Platinum Plus. It's legendary in Memphis for his 21st birthday. The dancer, he chose, gave her. gave him a lap dance and she died in his lap from an overdose. She. It actually happened. Did he get to keep the... Stop.

Should we have a moment of silence? Yes. For her, let's have a moment of silence. Yeah, man. That's rough. That's really rough. Yeah, RAP, the stripper. Rip.

RIP. Oh, I follow that. Let me slick him up. Ailey's face. Which phase. She's up. Okay. My new husband and I didn't get a Bachelorette party,

or bachelor party, so we rounded up some friends and went to the strip club. We were trying to buy a dance from a sweet girl that just got off stage, and the ginger bedazzled bush girl on stage told her to leave the stage while her pussy is dancing. She got fired for being a cunt, and the carpet matches the drapes.

That's intense. The ginger bedazzled pussy. Had me at jimmy. Ginger bedazzled. Go see. I listen. It was a great visual because I didn't totally have visualized it. Bish.

Ginger bedazzled bush. Okay. Hard. Oh. I like something in it. Okay. Let me see. Ginger's be.

Okay. Sorry. What the hell? What do you keep it going? I, you know like when you have something in your eye? That's happening. All right. I got a good one right here.

I don't know. I got some really good ones. Yeah, I got another banger coming up. I can't wait. Let's see if it tops this one. Okay. I feel like we got a lot of the same ones. Yeah.

Yeah, I had that one. Yeah. Only right into one of us. It would have to be the guy. One of my worst strip club stories is it would have to be a guy that used to come in and ask for bloody tampons to put in his vodka shot. Good old Columbia, South Carolina, hole in the wall. I'm crying. Just like a little vampire.

I don't like that. Dunking it like an Oreo. cookie. Yep. That's why the string's there. Stop. I have full body chills right now. I don't like that. Same. Yeah, I'm going to throw up. Vodka?

Like a, is that what a cranberry and, oh. Like a vodka cran, but I don't like that. It would look the same color. No, don't like it. I wonder if you added a lime. I wonder if he, yep, yep, a little salt. A little, just a splash of lime. I do have a question, though.

What's like the common attire for a strip? club. Wind breakers for men. Really? Oh, they would always come in. The dude. Yeah, they would always come in with either thin slacks or windbreakers because they can feel everything.

You know how many men come in their pants as you're giving them a lot of dance? I'm pretty sure that guy the other night did. Yeah. Yeah. He walked out. He walked out kind of. A little wet. It's crazy.

The night that you got your dance. Yeah. There was a dude in the corner. I don't know if you guys noticed him. No. I didn't look at any age. Yeah. No.

They're there for the women. Yeah. All right. This one says, shout out 7th fail. Was on a work. Was on a work night out. Ended up in a strip club.

Co-worker bought me a private dance. Turned out to be my current girlfriend at the time. And I didn't know she was working as a stripper. Wow. That's kind of hot, though. And I told her I wasn't actually going out that night. Okay. Damn.

In the morning, things were interesting. Yeah, that's not hot. Damn. Mm-hmm. Wow. Yeah. Who noticed who first? I mean, but who's mad at who?

She didn't tell him that she was stripy. Just fuck it out in the club and talk about it later. Roll play. That's what I would have done. I'd have been like, you know what? The scenario's hot. It's never going to happen again. Let's fuck it out.

We'll deal with it when we get home. I mean, there's an easy fix. Yeah, okay. My friend went to the strip club and decided to get a private dance from one of the dancers. She danced two songs. He said vibes were perfect and he was rock hard. When she got up, he had blood all over his lap. Turns out the girl was on her period.

He hasn't been to a strip club since. That happened to me. It might have been an accident. You rubbed blood on someone? I didn't do it on purpose. So it was the first time I ever wore a white G string, too. The first time I ever wore a white G string thing, I'm dancing for this person and I'm like,

I'm not turned on. Why do I feel like this? You know, like down there because it was like slippery. And I was like, what the hell's going on? I stand up and my entire white G string from like top to bottom is just covered in blood. and there's blood on the guy's pants, and he wanted me to keep dancing. He didn't care.

Yeah. I don't like that. The night when I get his soul of bloody. I'll tell you something about men. They're not very hard to please. That's a fact. Because for me, I wouldn't have really cared.

Yeah. Washer machine. Dudes do not care. Yeah. Maybe. Okay. All right. This one is from our boy Charlie classic.

Oh, this is about to be good. After this too, you guys, Josh Adam Myers wanted to be on the show and said to FaceTime him. He has a story. Okay. One time we had a dancer named Sapphire and she was on stage when her boyfriend busted through the front door screaming. He was going to kill her because she ate the last hot pocket at their place. Stop.

I get it. He was not joking being held back by three security guards while screaming, you knew I loved the pepperoni ones. You hot pocket eating hoe. He. Hot pocket eating hoe. She's done it before. I kind of feel like that should be my nickname. He was pulled out of the club, screaming and losing his mind.

While Sapphire, the dancer, yelled across the club from the stage, please stop. I love him. And I'm not kidding. Sapphire came up to me and said, I deserved to die because I knew it was his and I ate it anyway. Some people don't play about hot pockets. That's what a vagina should be called.

A hot pocket. Yes. Yeah. There we go. A little beefy hot pocket. Yeah. The beefy ones are the pepperoni ones. Yeah.

Yeah, which one do you think? I like a good, I like, I like, I like, I kind of, if you don't say ham and cheese, I don't know why we're friends. I think you would feel like the ham and cheese. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But like only in breakfast. I don't like it later on the day.

You can have it any time of the day. Yeah, I don't want to. Whatever, dude. We're calling Josh. Fine. Are we beefing over fucking hop pockets? Yeah. Which one's your favorite?

I get why you. I would be upset too. You could cut the tension with a knife. Yeah. Meatball one is pretty good. I don't know if I like the meatball. Meatball won so much. Joshua Adam Meyer.

We got to see him all right here, guys, and that was really cool. I know. I love him so much. Josh, answer the phone. Myers is one of the best humans in the world. We got to see everybody. We got to see Highlight. We got to see Highlight and Duby.

Like, we got to see all the homies here, so it's been really cool, dude. It's been a really good, great, great shirt, but it's been great. Josh's new music is fire, guys. Yeah. The one about implants, my new theme song. All right, guys, we're heading back home to Nashville for a week, and then we'll be back in L.A., so who knows, you might see us back here again. If you did, you didn't.

If you do, you do, if you don't, you don't. All right, see you guys next week. Bye. Bye. Are you ready, kids? The SpongeBob SquarePants merchandise is here. And we're talking officially licensed, as seen on apparel and products at the official Paramount Shop,

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