Dumb Blonde - Ask, Tell, Confess: I Hate The Way My Vagina Looks

Episode Date: February 28, 2025

The girlies kick off the show with a chat about boobies and bodies, reminding everyone to embrace what they’ve got innie, outie, or otherwise. Then, a Tinder date takes a dark Dexter-style turn, the crew dives into the energy exchange of dating and hookups, and a listener discovers she’s sharing a man with her mom.Watch Full Episodes & More:www.dumbblondeunrated.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey guys, I need to ask you a question. I want to know why in the hell are you not on Patreon? I don't think you guys even realize how much content we have on Patreon. Let me break it down for you. We have the bunny XO show. We have meet the defaults. We have propaganda. We have more shows that we're adding.

And not to mention we have the visuals of the podcast. Head over to www.patreon.com backslash dumb blonde podcast and sign up. Ask, tell confess. I asked her confess Hello friends, welcome back to another Ashk-Tale-ah Who's gonna do it? Convess Who's going to do it? Come back. How are you guys doing? We're doing good. Long time no see you little donkeys.

Donkey little donkeys. What are you guys doing? How you doing? Who are you doing? No. Oh, you're doing somebody. I'm doing no one. Are we doing someone?

No, I'm not doing anyone. You're doing no one. No, still? No, I'm not doing anyone. You're doing no one? No. Still? No. All right. What about you?

When was the last time you were doing someone? Uh, I don't probably Hawaii. Really? I know we got kids. Well, what am I? No, I who am I? My husband has not been home in 20 days. Yeah, we got kids.

Yeah, I last time I got done was in Hawaii too. So it's hard. I'm like, bro, I will say I got a gnarly UTI from that. And I don't know if it was the non-stop or the ocean water, all of it. It was all of it. Muddy clothes. I told him, I was like, this was probably a combination of the fact that like, there was so much sand in there at one point. So much in your vagina. Bro. Yeah. Sand, mud, juice and water.

If you're not used to getting dicked down constantly, like she shrivels up a bit and is like, hey, what's going on here? Like, I know mine is like protective. It's like what is happening and why are we doing this so much? We got it in while we could. No kids. Yeah. Literally. Let's fuck. What about you, Jaime? Who are you doing and why are we doing this so much? Yeah, we got it in while we could no kids Yeah, literally. Let's fuck. What about you? Hi, mate. Who you doing? How you doing? I'm doing very well Yeah, just when are we gonna see Brooks tits? Yeah, I've been waiting on this you have not showed us your girlfriend's boobs Call right now and ask her if we can show her tits on her movies on the show

Yeah, we need to know what a her she's on air too before she responds. So that she knows she's being recorded. Face timer, tell her to go to the bathroom. Drop them out, let me see them titties. All right, we're face timing. All right, we're faceing Jaime's hot ass girlfriend. Watch her. She's not gonna answer. She's not gonna answer.

She's like, what does he want? He finally left me alone. Oh. Lift it. Hey babe. We got a question for you. We gotta turn it up. She's very quiet.

Hi Brooke. You're on air right now. Hi. You are on air. They would like to see your boobies if that is okay. Oh my. No, you don't got to show them. He's going to show us a picture.

Yeah. A picture of my boobs. Yes. Please and thank you. Please. We wanted your permission before he showed us. I think so. I think I have like an old nude from when we were dating.

Yes. Wow. Yeah. That's hot though that he still carries around a nude from when you guys first started dating. Honestly, yeah, you can show them just as long as you don't show the viewers. No, we won't show the viewers.

No, we would never. We would never do that. But we're just gonna describe how beautiful they are. Because Jaime is always talking about how hot your rack is on air. So it's like, we really need to see. We need visuals. I'm a visual learner. Yeah.

Yeah, so I'm so flattered. I'm blushing. All right, hang up. I want to see some tests. All right. Thanks, babe. Love you, bye. Can't wait. Pull it up. We babe. Love you, bye. Can't wait.

Pull it up. We have been waiting months for this. We have asked literally weekly since you've been hired. Weekly, and he's finally showing the racks. This is the only reason we kept you so long. We got consent from Brooke. We got consent. Yes.

Because he was gonna show us without consent and I felt bad. Yeah, he was. And then he went, hmm. All right. Oh, here we go. Here we go. I'm gonna need this up close to show from there. Give it to them. Can we display it on the TV? Yeah. No, I was just blurred out. Yeah. Hold on. Well, listen, guys, he's

having a dig for this picture because they've been together a long time. You guys not send nudes anymore? I don't think so. I mean, I see her. I rarely send nudes to Jay anymore. Not really. My husband doesn't give me the reaction I want. Like if I'm going to send a nude, I want you to be like, God dang, baby, you are so fucking fine. My husband's like, what are you doing?

I'm horny now. Yeah. Yeah, he's like, what are you doing? Come over. Come on downstairs. I get out of the shower and there's a nude. Yeah. I mean, it's like, it's not as lucrative. Yeah, I get out of the shower and there's a nude. Yeah.

I mean, it's like, it's not as lucrative. Yeah, he watches me shower every day. Send Jason a nude right now. He's got all the nudes. I want to see his reaction on camera. Do you have any? No, he's got all the ones I would have had. Do you have any nudes on your phone?

Oh, I'm sure. Of yourself? I'm sure. I want to see. Tell me. Who else would they be? Why wouldn't? Wait.

I mean, I've got, listen, I have over like 80,000 pictures and videos in my phone. Yeah. A lot of them are screenshots for you hoes, but fucking I have like so much shit. I had so much shit on my phone that I had to transfer some of it to my backup phone. Really? So I wouldn't lose any of it. Yeah. Lord, you got a lot of stuff on your phone. I just asked her to resend it because I cannot find it in my phone. Son of a bitch, Jaime. You know you can type in nude in your camera roll search. Or like the year it'll bring it up.

She would send it to you yeah type in like the year you guys got together. Literally search nude. All right so we'll start with our first story while Jaime is looking for this. Yes you look anxious are you starting or are you just so excited? I'm ready to get started. Look, it's 222, and then I have 222 on my Tainted Angel sweatshirt. Yay, that was meant to be. That's an angel number. That's, you know what? I was so stressed out today. That's the angels.

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LiPo used to be a bad word, but we're also supposed to act like we love every parts of our bodies. It's BS. You guys know on my podcast, I talk openly about surgeries I've had and I have had LiPo myself. I think as women we're so hard on our bodies and if something makes you feel good, do it. It's your body, your choice, don't listen to the outside world. If you want to do something that makes you feel beautiful do it. Getting your body back is so hard

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I can't wait to share this journey that we're on with you guys, man. You guys are going to really be excited. A lot of people are going to relate. Can't tell you what it is we're doing, but you know. All right, so I have two questions that we'll just go with. We've like stopped asking as many questions because we've gotten so many good stories lately. I'm glad that we're going into the questions.

Yeah, so this girl wrote in the DM, so I'm not going to say her name. She said she was just listening to the new Ask Talconfess episode and wanted to ask my advice because I feel like you may be able to relate. I know you have talked about your labiaplasty in the past, but I am so insecure about mine. It's preventing me from so much

I want to go out and have fun with guys But I hate the way my vagina looks and I know people say it's not a big deal to guys They just want it But I don't feel like that's entirely true and I don't see myself ever being able to afford or get surgery I don't have the best medical insurance. It's awful and I just want to be happy. Do you have any advice for overcoming this? What should I do? I feel like this should be talked about a little bit more because I'm gonna choose my words of wisely here

because I don't want to ever insult anybody. I feel like with porn, it creates this fantasy that everybody wants like the clean shaven girl who doesn't have any outer lips, you know? And I think that that's so wrong because I got my labiaplasty because I felt the same exact way she did, you know?

And I was just like, you know what? It's not that I had like too much lip, but it was just, it didn't look like the girls in porn and I was in the adult industry and I wanted to have something similar. And I'm, and I'm very happy with my decision, but I have friends who have outies because so we call them innies and outies and I have friends that have outies and I think they're beautiful. Like I genuinely think that women who we're all made differently, we don't all want to look like a Barbie, you know, like we all want, you want to be different.

And I feel like your vagina has as much personality as your face and use that motherfucker. That is the quote of the day, guys. So the wheels fall off like and, and be proud of, there's going to be a man out there who is going to love every piece of you. And I feel like with modern uh like only fans and more like porn that's coming out these like homemade videos have really shed light on yeah I have a hair in my face it's really shed light on the difference in like bodies. Yes. And it's really

helped a lot of women become so much more comfortable with that. So what maybe that could help is even if you couldn't afford it, find like the side of the industry that has something similar to yours and realize like there are so many other. Chris, did I Loki like outies? I love outies.

Kristy Mack has an outie and her vagina is beautiful. Exactly. So maybe she just, maybe she's watching a certain kind of porn that she thinks is beautiful, but she needs to find the beauty in what she has. Yeah, and you know, as women, we always want what we don't have. So there's a girl that hasn't any that's looking at your Audi

being like, man, I wish I had a little more lips. You know, there's a blonde that's thinking, man, I wish I was a brunette. Me, there's a brunette. And I really am a brunette. I'm trying to go back dark, and it's been a hellacious process. But as women, we have to really start loving ourselves for who we are. And we have to start finding ways to love ourselves more because I just feel like we

are our worst enemies and we're always critiquing ourselves. I say that about like my self love journey when I was trying to love myself bigger so that I could love myself more as I like became smaller because I always felt like in the past it was always like, no matter how much weight I lost, I wasn't happy because I didn't love myself, regardless of who I was. It was really cool to love myself at a bigger size and now that I'm small, I appreciate every step along the way. It's really it's crazy how I told myself at one point, if I could teach myself how to drive a car,

if I could teach myself to become a hairstylist, or whatever I've taught myself that I didn't know prior, then why couldn't I teach myself how to love myself? Because there's plenty of people out there who do love themselves. Yes. So it was a mind over matter kind of situation, literally. And a perfect example that I want to use too, for this this is I had a beautiful rack before I got my boobs done like my natural tits were you already had a lot of nominal and I but because I caught my

ex watching certain porn stars who had big fake boobs I wanted to make him happy and I ended up getting huge fake boobs that did nothing but cause complications to my body. My implant folded in half. How big were they? 490 CC, but that's already on top of a lot of breast tissue. So I ended up almost being an E after it was all said and done. And then my left tit started growing

to triple the size of what my right tit was because my implant was folded and a lobster claw like a big huge lobster claw piece of meat of scar tissue grew inside of me and was making me sick and I did that all to make a man happy. That's crazy. And then I ended up getting them fucking taken out and I'm happier than ever. And don't have them. And to top it off, after I had my explant is when I started my only fans and made fucking millions of dollars on all natural, all with natural boobs. So if I could just teach you guys something, because I'm like, you know, yes, I get botox. Yes, I get my lips done. I stopped getting filler in my face about two years ago.

As you get older, you get more comfortable with imperfection and you want to be different. So please just know how you're feeling when you're in your 20s and 30s is not how you're going to be feeling when you're in your 40s and 50s. It's a journey of self-love and we're all on this journey together.

So we just all got to lift each other up and just know that you're perfectly imperfect. Yeah, and you have no idea how happy you are on the other side of it. Absolutely. Because I didn't wear shorts for 17 years because a kid in seventh grade made fun of how fat med legs were.

So I missed out on 17 years of wearing shorts. To the member of the first year I started wearing shorts, I wore them in the dead of winter. She goes, we're gonna go buy you pants. Yeah, I was like, I love you. You're going to get sick. This is my first year in shorts. I'm going to wear it all year long. You know, don't even care. It was snow. I was coming into the studio one day.

She was like, can you put some pants on? Yeah. I was like, well, you're going to get so free on the other side of it. Just know that. So I know we didn't give you the answer you probably wanted, but I hope we gave you some perspective. Yeah. And everyone else listening to this, who may not have been as comfortable to ask a question like that. Yeah, absolutely. All right. Haley got excited a second ago, so I know we I know we had tits pop up on the screen,

but let's take a gander. We're going to see Brooks Hooters right now. Here we go. Turn it sideways, please. Zoom in. Look at Brooke. Please zoom in. Oh my God, she's so hot. Dude. Yeah. We got the full Monty.

Bro. We got it all. The mirror. Bro. Brooke is so fired, dude. I'm gonna go whack off to this picture. Yeah, I gotta go. Can you say it in your group chat, please?

Yeah, please. Tell Brooke, like, hey, listen, it's bad enough. We just exploited her onto millions of people. But hey, can she send us that picture? No, she's so hot. Dude, perfect. Nipple size. Did you take this? No, it was her roommate, which is why it's so, you know, artistic and yeah. I love it. They put a lot of work into this. It's a production. She's so hot, dude.

Damn, her body is garbage. Jaime, you scored. Score, she's a body, yaddy, yaddy, yaddy, yaddy, yaddy. Love that. Woo, woo. Did she say, don't ghost me? Yeah. Oh no, was that from not, that was from that time?

No, she just texted me just now. She was like, don't ghost me after I send you this nude now, lol. Oh my god. I'd be like, all I'm doing is thinking about getting home to you, baby. Say sorry, I'm mopping up everyone's drool. Yeah, yes, absolutely. Thanks for that right now. She's so fire.

Alright, what do you guys got for me? I haven't asked. Have you guys ever heard of the Tinder date gone wrong that recently happened where she came out and the cops told her she needed to see her apartment? It was covered in plastic. You can find it on TikTok. So I heard a little bit about this, but can we find the clip? Pull this up. Yeah, let's pull this up. I heard a little bit about this, but can we find the clip? Can we pull this up? Yeah, let's pull this up. I heard a little bit about it, but...

It's crazy. That's like some real life Dexter shit. Can we put this on the screen and turn it up? Crank it up. Hold on. I got this right here. Somebody's telling it on a podcast too. This Tinder story is not mine, but a friend of mine. Now, obviously that raises, you know, we're not necessarily big fans of big fans of that, but we know it works. It works. Crazy. So suspicions.

Yes, absolutely. Some eyebrows. Uh, this story happened in Vienna. My friend met a guy on Tinder and went on a few dates with him about, uh, for about a month. One day she decided after a date to finally invite him to her house for a drink during these drinks She started feeling some weird vibes from him. So when Sorry weird vibes from him. So when it was time to go to bed She asked him if he would be okay with sleeping on the couch in the living room. He said yes good man as you should For some reason she decided to lock her bedroom. She's always been a little bit paranoid.

And then she went to sleep. In the middle of the night, she heard her door handle move. She woke up and asked him, are you okay? Thinking maybe he was looking for the bathroom and he didn't answer. She got very spooked and called the police. The police arrived and she war they open the door and told them He was in the living room a police officer went into the living room down the hall and came back He got on his walkie-talkie immediately and told her not to go into the living room

Apparently there was a bunch of knives in the living room floor and plastic over some of the furniture Had she had not locked the door, she would probably be dead. Unfortunately. Okay. Wow. So this is, okay. So this is one of those stories that's a friend of a friend of a friend

that has been kind of, but still let's hypothetically speaking, that's kind of hot. Shout out the fellas for having this on there. That's kind of hot. Wait, what? I only say that it's hot joking around because I, if you fucking ever watch Dexter, bro, like I. I love Dexter.

I love Dexter. That's some Dexter shit. That is some Dexter shit right there though. And he was a good guy. He was. He was. Dexter was the good guy. So, but if that happened in real life, scary. Like get the fuck out of here.

I'm so terrified. But that's why, this is why I don't wanna date and I don't want anyone over to my house. They're not coming to my house. You have to be careful nowadays because people are just fucking, like it's free Willy out here, dude. I've never dated in like the online like app era

I've only I met Jason so long ago that luckily I haven't either. Yeah that She's like, oh my god. I mean, I just imagine just Swiping until you found someone that you found attractive and then just going for it I don't know I guess that's like a mental thing that like well Well, the problem is, and there are some people who find love that way, but the problem is, is we're in a microwave era. So as quick as you swipe left,

that person is out of sight, out of mind. It could have been a really just bad photo of them. Nobody has real connections with anybody anywhere. Like nobody, it's like everybody wants to have a relationship over text. Nobody wants to meet in person. Nobody, you know, it's fucking weird. Where do people meet nowadays?

You just meet at the bars. Yeah, that's how I always met people was at bars. Like at least it's real life like set up by a friend. Yeah, yes. But like even then, like, I don't. I think that's happened to me one time where someone was like, yo, you would really like my cousin and I really did like talk to him for like a year ended bad but that was the only time I got set up like a mutual friend that was like I know you and I know you

and I know you guys would be good together. What you know what I'm jealous of is people who can meet at church. Like that people who meet at church and can like fall in love and have like real good relationships like why wasn't that in my fucking fairy tale I mean my church I love my fairy tale older what is it my church they were all married and older like yeah it's really no one there was people my age but yeah but I just you know I think that that this is a lesson even if this isn't a true story because nobody can seem to find facts anywhere. That, you know, girls, I know you want to get it on. Listen, when I was single, I used to bang them on the hood of my car

or like in the back seat of my car. And then that way they never had to come home with me, you know. So ever since I like I was celibate for almost two years, that's what really. Let me like not have just random guys over to my house all the time. Cause I was like, and I got stolen from one time, but after that- Bro, after the family guy whack off.

That's who started my celibacy. Yeah. And I got a new mattress. I got a whole new bed frame. I threw everything out and I was like, I'm done having random guys over to my house all the time. And no one's been to my new house yet. No one's been on my new mattress yet.

That's your energy. I know. You are inviting energy into your life. And listen, when I was young, I fucking got it in. I'm just as, oops, there's our food. There's our food. As somebody who's lived a full fucking life, just know that your vagina is a harbor

for that man's energy that you're bringing home. And not only that, but just that's bringing energy into your house, into your body, into your mind, into your soul, you know? So it's like, just know that you're gonna make a energy exchange with this human. I don't want that. I think that's why I like staying single because I love my energy

and I like to protect it. And I don't want a man fucking that up. I did not realize how much I protected my peace at home until like here recently. I like bad energy in your home is the worst thing you could possibly imagine. It's hard to get rid of. Yes. Yeah, absolutely. I had get rid of. Yes, absolutely. I had to fucking move, basically.

Yeah. And once I moved, I realized that house I lived in for seven years was so negative. Yeah. So negative. And you were surrounded by negativity. Well, yeah, I had two roommates. You had other people's energy too,

like next door to you, you had the crackers. It was really bad. So I could tell a huge difference when I moved. Yeah. You're passionate about where you live now. I love to watch that. Just remember your house is your sanctuary and your body is your temple.

Absolutely. I love that. Yeah, baby. Love it. All right, I'm gonna play my voice. Snip it, clip it, let's go. You're on one today. No, you know what it is.

You're s'more today. I literally, I am. I almost got attacked by my fricking cow the other day. My mother passed away in 2014, rest in peace. So this was probably 15 years ago. Her and I worked at the same lawyer's office together. She was my supervisor. And we worked with a bunch of guys,

so it was just her and I. Long story short, I was single at the time, kind of just dating around. My mom did have like a, not a husband, but someone she called a husband at the time, who had ED issues and they were having a bunch of issues. So we were both kind of like having an affair with somebody, but we didn't know like at the same time

that it was the same person. We were both sleeping with the same person. And so how we came about finding out was we were talking about it one day because me and my mom were very, very close. And so we were talking and there's so many similarities. And he had walked in the room and we both had gotten up to go embrace him.

And I was like, what the fuck? And so, yeah, that's, we both got fucking around with him. And yeah, that was the most disgusting thing that had happened to me in my life. I did forgive my mother, of course, because she's my mother, but yeah, what a disgusting fucking pig.

And like, he obviously knew that we were mother and daughter, you know, we all worked together. So, yeah, that's kind of it. I was gonna ask that. I either confess, and I love you guys so much. Okay, so let me get this right. Her and her mom were having affairs on their significant others?

Well, the mom was in like a situationship with someone, but she was single. Okay, single. So like they were sleeping with, they were both just sleeping with someone not knowing that same- But why did she say, I forgave my mom? Like, why would you have to forgive your mom

if your mom didn't know? Well, I guess it was probably just something she said. Yeah. But yeah, like, my question immediately was, do you think he knew? Yep, she answered that. Because I was like, does he know that? He definitely knows. I think that's, I think some men have that fantasy of being a mom and a daughter.

Like it's weird. Yeah, that's strange. That's like the porn industry though. I was going to say, I've seen so many porn titles with that. Yeah, that's so gross. Your Eskimo Sisters with your mama. No. That was a wild confess. Yeah that was crazy. I loved it though. It was good. That was a good one. What a way to end it. What a way to end it. What a way to end it. All right our salads are here. Salads. Let's go partake. Bye. Bye.