Dumb Blonde - Ask, Tell, Confess: Shot Glasses Don’t Belong There

Episode Date: September 26, 2025

On this wild episode of Ask, Tell, Confess, the crew dives into their jam-packed podcast schedule, from recent New York adventures to upcoming runs in LA. Along the way, they share jaw-dropping listener stories—a couple who left a room in shambles with feathers and toys, a woman whose shot-glass stunt went dangerously wrong, and even an ex who asked his former flame to plan his wife’s funeral. The team also tackles the tricky topic of emotional cheating, offering real talk and advice. They wrap things up with their signature banter—and one very important PSA: keep glass far away from your private parts.Watch Full Episodes & More:www.dumbblondeunrated.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Go to quince.com slash bunny for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash B-U-N-N-N-I-E to get free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash bunny. Ask tell confide. AskTel confess Hello everybody, welcome to Welcome to Asktale It was soft.

It was like a teeth pedal. Yeah, it was really soft and just kind of like, you know. Dainty. It sounded like it was like blowing with the wind. Well, if you guys could tell, we have a different background tonight, today, whatever fucking time it is. Actually, it's 12 o'clock in the morning. Oh.

No way. Yep. And we are filming As Hell Confest for you because we love you guys so much. We have been on this podcast run in New York and we're going home for two days and then we're going on another. other podcast run in L.A. because Mimi likes to overwork me and underpay me. So that's what we've been doing. But we're here doing AskTalken Fest. Are you guys fucking excited? Yeah. I'm so excited. Haley's fucking, I don't know what happened to you. You were a crackhead Ed right now.

Bro, we went to the gym. I don't know. I got a burst of energy. Yeah, that's went to the gym. Are you going to be able to sleep tonight? Running circles. I don't know. You can sleep down here tonight. You want to snuggle with me? Go ahead. Maybe. We kissed in front of a rock star's house today. We did. We kiss in front of every iconic place. We just kiss a lot. It's our new thing. We just look at each other and we're like, and it's not like tongue or anything like that, but it's like a little peck. A little peccaroonie. Yeah. All right, who's going to kick this off? Don't sound too excited, guys. I mean, I feel like I kicked it off last week. Yeah. Didn't I? I'll kick it off. All right. Um, Louie.

by the way me me did not want to record right now we're forcing her but she's going to love us tomorrow because we have another we have another podcast and literally she wanted to record after that and i was like absolutely fucking not i want to go home take me to my cow and my freaking dog i'll be thankful tomorrow yes yeah so my first one came in this girl's name samantha my mom used to help my mom used to have me help her run a clean and sober housing when i was 15 This is funny. This story is so funny. There was one building that was for people with disabilities, but most people called it the house of crazies.

One day, a couple wanted to rent a room temporarily and didn't mind being in the house of crazies. About a week later, I'm walking down the hallway and I see feathers everywhere. It's coming from that couple's room. Me and my mom opened up the door, and the room is coming. completely trashed. All the feathers are from the pillows and blankets we had. I opened the freezer and it is completely filled with dildos. Lots of dildos. All different sizes. They never came back for their dildos. What were they doing with the feathers? Remember one time we filled a room with feathers? The video shoot, bro, when I tell you, feathers are the hardest thing to clean up.

We had a video. You know, right? Cleaning up? no who cleaned all those feathers up i helped a lot i remember cleaning up a lot but i don't remember it like it feathers are hard to clean up like what the fuck were they doing i think we got a shot back at one point maybe they had like a pillow fight and then it went into sexy time that's exactly what happened we were recording a pillow fight and the pillows just started coming up however the dildo's in the freezer though i don't know i couldn't imagine shoving a cold dildo inside of me that would suck. Imagine freezer burn in your virgin?

Maybe they dipped them in ecstasy and put them in the freezer. It's like freezes it and then you can put it inside. I don't know. People do weird shit, man. All right. People do strange stuff. You never, you guys never had a party like that?

No. I haven't either. It just sounded good. Okay. I'm just, I just get me either. She's like, just spitballing. I'm just freestiling at this point. Go ahead.

Haley, you're now. Okay. I have a story from Mayer. It's a tell. One time me and my husband went to El Paso, Texas to get away and go on a date. We go get us a crab boil and we love spicy food, so we get the flame thrower. We had a great dinner and go back to the hotel, have drinks, go back up for some freaky time. As we were getting into it, I felt the sudden burn and I was like, what the fuck? Turns out the gloves they give us and all our hand washing was useless. I had the flamethrower down there. Turns out we stopped right there and just decided not to finish. Oh, fire crotch. Ow! Fire crotch.

That is the worst. Ow! Yeah, that sounds fucking terrible. I did that with Ben Gay one time. Actually, quite a few times. What is that? What is that? So you know, like when you get really, really bad cramps

or when I get really bad cramps, I'll put Ben Gay right here. Like on my stomach. Yeah, it's just like icy hot. And like if you, fucking move the wrong way, if it gets on your clothes, if you like, you know, put your hand down your pants and sit like Al Bundy, you will literally get freaking bingay on your vagina lips. It's the worst feeling. And it doesn't go away. You know, I've dealt with my fair

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that's traumatizing i'd like to know how it felt the next day if it like burned her pussy lips or something like that god poor girl did you imagine little blisters down there oh just singed little singed lips it looks like those pieces of steak that were in your fucking cheese steak the other day looks like a dried up pear yeah a dried up pear right show his picture we were talking about this in bed the other night first of all why about dried up pears yeah we're just talking about vagina

oh okay okay okay I thought you said we're talking about talking about how some vaginas look like dried up pairs look you see it that looks like we've definitely seen one right I know what we're talking about right we've seen a lot yeah yeah yeah yeah I have some vaginas do look like dried up pairs

I like it you guys got a point you got a point yeah all right this one is from rebecca if your wife is entertaining a convo and calling this person boo babe to our phone calls and goes and visits your grandma in a nursing home and then she goes to see this person and hides it am i right to be pissed if she is just a friend why don't i know about her all her friends i've met but this one it's supposed to be our six year anniversary this week am i wrong to be pissed So that's cheating.

That's called cheating. Yeah. I mean, we don't know if she... Hold on. Fucking Mimi gave me a chair that fucking... Hold on. I'll be right back. All right.

I'm sure you're in focus. Here I am. I'm back. I'm back. Clipping. Just put it to like squeaky shoe sound. I'm back. That's my favorite.

That shit was... Just squeaking. These fucking wheels said the wheels on the bus. Go around and round. Round and round, round, round and round. Wheels on the bus go round and round all night long. Balls in your face go round and round. She's always got to talk for something.

Round and round. Yeah. I sing that's all the weenie boys. Okay, anyways, back on topic. We don't know if for sure she was cheating, and I'm not going about for this girl. But she could be emotionally cheating, which that's still fucked up. Emotional cheating is way worse than physical cheating. Way worse.

Yeah. I feel like you are making a whole, you are making a soul connection with somebody. Yeah. At that point when you're doing it emotionally, physically. At least if it's physically, you just get it up, get it in, get it on, get it out,

wash your hands and go. You know what I'm saying? There's no emotional bond. Emotional bonds are way harder to break them, physical bonds. Yeah, I don't like that. I don't like it either.

I would tell her that she either needs to introduce you to the friend. I don't really, here's my problem. I don't like giving ultimatums and relationships. I don't like them done to me, and I don't like doing them to people. I feel like that shouldn't even come to that point. Exactly.

Well, it's just like if it was a friend, you would have introduced her. For sure. So why is it a secret? Right. And she's putting you in this position to even have to do an ultimatum, but I would just be like, introduce me to your friend or we're going to need to reassess this relationship. Absolutely. I'm not comfortable.

I feel very uncomfortable. Yeah. And being open and honest about the fact that it makes you feel the way it makes you feel is going to be way more important than even the ultimatum. Like, you know, that's telling your feelings is so important. And maybe, you know, this is a crossroad in you guys' relationship or one, it could either bring you guys closer. Or two, maybe it's time to have a talk of like, you know,

do we invite other people in or, you know, like stuff like that. This could be used in a very positive way. Just go into it with your boundaries and stick with them. I love that advice. Yeah. It's good advice. All right. I got a story.

This person wants to be kept anonymous. Oh, that means it's good. Yeah. Juicy. She is an RN. So I was working urgent care and had a... We're listening. We're listening.

What is happening? We started making faces. I'm sorry. We got caught in the moment. We can't sit in class in there. No. No. You guys are never allowed to be in.

class we're too close right now you'd be passing notes the whole class our desk would be like i'm literally like the mom of the group yeah we're always in trouble cross the street earlier and these dude take off green light cars coming we look back i said should we wait she said no they left us i said we left them she's like i know i just like to gaslight them it keeps on walking no but they did wait they're good people we did make me laugh because every time I laugh my chair

every time this chair sucks all right here we go am I good Jaime I'm sorry dude I'm not doing it on purpose could you imagine you and the guest tomorrow just simply around I will not sit like this I would never I would never that's just really funny fuck no I can't I'm not going to look at you

Okay, don't. All right, go ahead. Sorry. I'm proud of us for going to the gym. We've had long days since Europe. We have had long days. You're up. Okay, we have had a long fucking day.

I think we're delirious at this point. I can't handle this. All right. I'm going to be so thankful this is all set up tomorrow morning, though, because that means I get to sleep in a little longer. You're welcome. Okay. So this one wants to be kept anonymous.

She is an RN. So I was working urgent care and had a young girl come in. Hate you both. I'm just going to continue under 18 but at least 15 years old say she had bad stomach cramps. I'm sorry you don't understand what she just did. I'm going to cry. You don't understand what she just did. I'm crying.

I didn't get. We both went like this. We both went like this. I swear to God, we were both like trying not to look at. Then we both go, then our eyes met. It was so funny, dude. We just clicked at. All right. All right. I'm just going to look over here. Go ahead. Mom is so bad at us. All right. You're 15. I'm so sorry to whoever story this is, dude. We shouldn't have even filmed right now.

We're both. We're all so fucking. Okay. We're all so delirious. Mimi. Me. You guys. All right, go ahead.

You're going to have to leave the room, Haley. I might. Okay. I might have to leave it. Okay, no, I got it. All right, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead. All right. She had bad stomach cramps.

We checked her over and rolled out most things and thought maybe a stomach bug. However, as I go... I'm doing so good. I'm laughing. I'm looking over this way. She's got her head in her shirt. Okay. All right, go ahead.

However, as I go to discharge her, she is now in the fetal position crying. Her mom, who is in the room, as she is under 18, had to go use the restroom. She tells me she needs to have her vagina checked immediately and then start screaming in pain. I go out, tell the doctor, so now he tells me to go get the patient ready for an exam. So now we are in the middle of an exam. Me and the doctor both see something reflecting light in her vagina. get the fuck out of here long story short she put a shot glass inside of her that then suction cup to her cervix causing tremendous damage and needing surgery why why who looks at a shot glass

and like this is going to feel was it full of alcohol oh someone tried to take a shot out of a vagina like a body shot? we didn't know but if it's suction it would have to be up the opposite way like a diva cup I need to know first of all you can't write us a fucking story like that and not tell us why yeah yeah why was there a fucking shot glass in her fucking vagina dude that's wild to me that you would even think you know what that belongs in there listen I have a fucking vagina and I have never once thought to myself I'm going to stick a shot glass in my pussy hole

nothing about that sounds fucking fun I don't understand why some of these people shove things inside of them that shouldn't be there like glass golly, could you imagine if that broken hurt? Oh,

it would be like the Pain Olympics Oh, she would die. Did you ever watch the Pain Olympics? You'd die? If it's sliced an artery and your fucking cervix or something? Fuck yeah, you could die. I don't know how many arteries are down there.

I'm sure a lot. You think you have to, you know. Did you watch Pain Olympics? No, what is that? When he put the mason jar in his butt and it shattered? Who? He's just squatting. The whole thing?

Yeah. Who did it? He was just taking out pieces. Guys, ask Charlie about it. He's a big fan. Of course he would know. Did you, he like demonstrated it for us at that mansion one time. Excuse me what?

Remember that one time he came over and we were at that house with all the bar stools? And he was demonstrating how the guy put the thing. The haunted house? Yeah. Yeah. It was a little distracted. by the ghosts at that house. Do we call in a lifeline?

I think we should call Charlie. Do you want to call Charlie? Calling Charlie, guys. I need to know this. I need to hear the story. What is happening? This is like back in the... Ladies and gentlemen, do not stick glass in your freaking private parts, okay?

Not the fucking anews and not the freaking vaginoo. Don't do it. he's probably like why are they calling me at fucking oh it's 10 it's 10 in Vegas he's awake Charlie okay say hi hi hi hi Charlie Charlie I need you to explain to Bunny what the pain Olympics were and what happened to the mason jar okay so the pain Olympics were a thing online where the person would win by doing the most fucked up or vile things to themselves.

Like one girl saw their own titty off with a dull butter knife. Then another dude, he poured hot water acid. Where was this broadcasted? And you watched it melt away. Acid on it? Yeah. Where was this posted?

Yeah, where was this at? It was just in like the dark web, right? Like on rotten.com? Yeah, it was just in a dark web and on 4chan and stuff like that. But everybody would watch it. And then the dude with the one man one jar, he put an entire mason jar up his butt

and it cracked and broke. And you can just see the blood pouring out. But the funniest thing is he went to work right after that. Like, it's wild. The Pain Olympics were nuts. It was just basically, and all you won was the fact that you got to say I won the Pain Olympics.

You won no money. What a time to be alive. Oh. Right. Thanks for telling everyone, Charlie. You're going to be on this week's episode of Asked Health and Best. For the most fucked up shit. That is crazy.

We miss you. We miss you, Charlie. We miss you all. We can't wait to see you all. Love you so much. Bye, yeah. I love you. Bye.

Only Charlie would know that fucking story, dude. Wild. That's acid on your dick and watch it melts off. I remember watching a dude cut his dick off. How did you watch that and not fucking. What is that? I never got into that. Rock.com was like the dark web before the dark web was dark web.

And they also used to have like this thing called Faces of Death. And you could actually watch people like die. I watched a girl get her head chopped off. Yeah. I watched a girl get shot point blank on Facebook. Oh, Facebook sometimes lets the weirdest stuff get through. Yeah. It was her boyfriend.

Were they fighting? She was staying on a rock. I think they were fighting. I don't know. It was like in Mexico, I think. Oh, no. This was another couple that I saw. Yeah, it was like here, here, here, here, it was wild.

I can't watch that kind of stuff. Wild. It just makes me so sick. Like, our brains are not meant to comprehend that kind of shit. Oh, and I was a teenager when this stuff came out. Two girls one cupped? No, oh, yeah. The two kids one sandbox?

Yeah. What? I never saw the two kids one sandbox. Someone taking a dildo and shoving it in the tip of a guy's. Okay. don't get it i like i like a little is that the sandbox i know it is the opening like like a little i mean she's not wrong to ask that question where is the sandbox come into play the title i mean two girls one cup there's an actual cup yeah i don't know

So, I don't know. I mean, it's a legit question. I don't even think it's on the internet anymore. Our brains are not meant to fucking see shit like that, bro. Like, we're not supposed to fucking ever in our lifetime see some shit like that. Like, that's fucking rough, dude. You know what's wrong with me? Yeah, you're fucked up.

You're fucked up individual. This is from Shauna. She said, put a finger down. If you're married, ex-boyfriend called you when his wife died and asked, you to plan her funeral. No. Sorry. Okay.

Okay. I was waiting for it. He asked her and he said because you're good at planning and stuff like that. Then it tells you that now you can be together because she's gone. Not a fan. So before I even got to the you could be together part, I was like, oh, he wants to be with her. And this is his opportunity to reach out. Listen, exes will call you.

for the craziest shit i just want to see how you're doing i was just thinking about you just it's like call me and say something cool you know maybe i'll engage with you if you say one thousand dollars cool yeah that or if i you know just anything cooler than fucking like this shit you know what i'm saying wild yeah i wonder if she got back with him i wonder if he killed her she said no uh she said no she actually answered that she said no he didn't kill her uh yeah crazy exes will do some crazy shit Mercury RetroGade. Yeah, probably. Who was in the microwave?

Yeah. Gay raid was in the microwave. All right. And on that note, don't answer the phone if your ex is called to ask you to plan their ex-wife's funeral. Just fucking hang up on them. Yeah. Forward. Don't even hang up on them.

Block them. Block them. Block them. Yeah. All right. All right. You guys want to send us off? Tuttle fucking Lou.

We're going to bed, guys. Love you. Tuttle fucking ooh. Bye-bye. You know.