Dumb Blonde - Ask, Tell, Confess: The Dudes Write In

Episode Date: February 7, 2025

Wow. The guys went all in on this week's Ask, Tell, Confess. One dude fakes self-pleasure to cover for his friend, another ends up showering with his own turds to clear a clogged toilet, and someone turns a Vegas casino floor into a public urinal. Bunnie and the gals also tear into the so-called TikTok ban that lasted a whole night, and the confessions it dragged out.Watch Full Episodes & More:www.dumbblondeunrated.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Let me break it down for you. We have the BunnyXO show, we have Meet the Deforts. We have propaganda. We have more shows that we're adding. And not to mention, we have the visuals of the podcast. Head over to www.patreon.com backslash dumblon podcast and sign Ask, tell, confess Ask, tell, confess Ask, tell, confess One, two, three Hey Welcome back to another episode of Ashtail Confesh. That was awful.

That was the worst intro yet. All right. Should we do it again? Yeah. All right, ready? One, two, three. Hello. Hello. Welcome back.

OK. What are we doing? I'm done. Welcome back to another episode of Ask Tell Confession. Sup, dogs? I feel like it's been forever since we've seen each other. Man. Come here often? How's everybody doing? I want to just get home and see my fucking cow.

I thought you were going to say your dog. My dog is right here. How are they doing in the cold? They're doing amazing. We have a barn. Oh, I didn't know. Yeah, we have a fucking barn for them. They will not go in the barn. Really?

No. They love being outside. I was getting bit this week. The donkey did shiver a little bit today, which was the first time he shivered, so we gave him more hay. Did you put a blanket on him? We can't get near him to put a fucking blanket on him.

Oh. Would you like to help us? We can go to my house after this. Let's do it. And you can help wrangle him. Yeah, because he has a buck. I'm not going in that pin with these fucking shoes on. I got to change my shoes. I'm not going with these on.

Yeah. I think I'm an animal. Wow. Wow. But yeah, Pablo Escob, as Cal bar doing great. He's thriving. Do the video you sent me the other day of him. Haley, did she send it to you? He's like, this is like.

Literally, it is me and Calborne. He literally if you open the door this much too far, he goes. He literally, if you open the door this much too far, he goes. He's great. Yeah, he's great. No, I come and do that out now. No, he's so good. He has the best personality. He broke my chicken coop.

Oh, no. So if you put little things that they can scratch themselves on, they get really excited. So have Blake install some some like ends of brooms. Yeah, he loves our broom. And I let him out, you know, free roam the property and he found the chicken coop and realized he could itch himself tore the whole roof off. Oh, he's just a fucking bull in a china shop.

He literally is someone was like, Is that a fucking buffalo? I was like, is that a fucking buffalo? I was like, no. So we're fencing in a really big side of our acreage for them. And by like next week, they'll be over there. So they're going to move over there. Aw. That's going to be good.

How are you going to move them? We're going to just walk them straight over there. S'more is easy. He's so attached to Crunch that wherever Crunch goes, he'll go. Crunch has a little buck in his bronc, but he's really sweet. He really is like, so he'll move easy. Now, the donkey, that's another fucking we'll have to prance. We tried with treats.

I've been with the donkey. Yeah. Oh, he don't give a fuck. Fun fact. Really? Give him graham crackers and it's like fucking. That's what everyone said something about animal crackers. Bro, no mini weeds. Yeah, we gave them like we had these graham crackers and it's like fucking that's what everyone said something about animal crackers broke no many weeds yeah we gave them but we had these graham crackers when we have to put them in his like run at night yeah and last night we got out a little too late we tried to do it before sundown because he gets really emotional so jason was like fuck we got home late so he runs out and he gets the graham crackers. Well, he heard the package and he started chasing Jason.

And Jason said, I got a little scared. And so he's, Jason's running to the pin and here comes fucking Bop Lop Pot. I've got to move this on video. I gotta check my security camera, it might be on there. Dude, oh my God, put that on TikTok. I bet that's fucking hilarious. Jason is terrified. Cause he's's fucking hilarious. He's terrified.

Because he's big. He's not like crunch. He's like double the size of crunch. He literally opens the packages and starts throwing crackers. Who's got a teenager? We do and guess what? She is ridiculously hard to keep track of and if I didn't have life 360 on my phone I would never know where this kid is the entire family and I have life 360 and my husband actually uses it more than I do He knows where everybody is at every time which I think is so funny But I'm telling you right now life 360 if you have a teen Especially one that's newly licensed you want to know how many miles per hour they're driving You want to know how long it took him to get from point A to point B.

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at sonobello.com slash bunny b-u-n-n-i-e. That's sono-b-e-l-l-o dot com slash bunny. We'll have to do it. Alright, well I guess I will kick it off this week. Not sure which one to do because I got some real good ones. Good doozy. My friend was sleeping over at my house. My parents and brother were all sleeping upstairs while we were downstairs watching TV, playing video games and shit. At around 1am he asks if this girl can come over. He really wants to get with this girl and I don't want to turn him down so I reluctantly agree on the condition that she's quiet. The three of us are hanging out

and I make some excuse to leave the room so my friend can have some alone time with this girl. I'm upstairs in my room when I start hearing loud moans. This is bad news for me, but great news for my friend. He's losing his virginity to a girl he really likes. I hear stirring in the next room and I know that their bout of loud lovemaking has woken

my parents. The last thing I want is for my confused father to walk in on my friend fucking this girl in our basement. What do I do? I go straight to Pornhub click on the first video I see crank that shit up to 100 on my speakers and let it play for the three minutes that my buddy ended up lasting. My dad ended up coming into my room, discovering the source of the noise. I even threw in some fapping motions under the covers

and opened my door and awkwardly left. My buddy ended up having the best fucking time ever, bro. But Jesus, there were some awkward glances exchanged between my parents and I the next morning. What a G, though, that you would do that for your homie. I wouldn't. What a homie though. Like if I had a friend who did that for me, like we'd be homies for life. Literally. Yeah. You wouldn't do that for your homie? No. What kind of friend are you? I mean, we've already, yeah, we already know Haley's not wired like that. No, then I got to deal with the awkwardness.

She's not. Yeah, she's not going to let me listen. She's showed you. She turns on herself. She turns out now when she goes to like twiddle the twack in the hotel rooms. She has the sink on the shower on. She's probably got like some type of music going. Yeah. No, Haley's whole freaking whack-off hour all right guys remember grandma is correct okay well I like grandma's never whacked off before

twiddle the twat no but literally she it takes Haley forever to find a porn and it has to be 80s it has to be like 80s vintage porn and fucking it. She literally has to have the shower on. You'll get here a couple of toilet flushes. Oh, it's a it's an experience. Yeah, like she's away at the spa. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's a good way to put it. Yeah, she's away at the spa.

Nice. All right. What you got for us? All right. This lady said she said to keep my name anonymous, but I work in a casino. And I remember one time there's this guy who had been sitting at a machine for so long, he just couldn't hold it in anymore. I ran out of the corner right into right in time to see him stand up and immediately pull his way out to pinch it shut and start bolting for the restroom a ways away. The pressure in his bladder must have been too much because it didn't stop the piss. In fact, the pinch just made it for a smaller escape for said piss, giving

it a lot more trajectory. As he was sprinting toward the bathroom, pissing 10 plus feet in front of him, swaying side to side from the sprint. He must have gotten at least 20 to 30 machines in his mini casino guests. It was insane. I don't know how I was so lucky to not have gotten pissed on. It's like when you put your finger over a hose. Well, he was probably like drunk or on drugs too

and just zoned out on the- Why have we not seen that in Vegas? I'd love to see that. No, you wouldn't. You want somebody pissing on you? You'll freak out. I see it. No, get pissed on.

I got pissed on at the CMAO Fest. You got pissed on? Yeah. I was in a crowd of people and this dude just opened his pants and he was this frat boy in a polo and he had all his little buddies with him and me and this, he actually peed down the girl's leg that was next to me and was splashing off of her onto me.

I tried to physically fight the man. But one of his little friends like just kind of engulfed him into the crowd and he was gone before you know it. Yeah, I remember this, Mimi told me that. I would fucking find that dude. That's disgusting. That is the worst thing. Don't piss on people. Yeah, it's not OK.

Nobody likes a little fucking pissy party at all. I don't know. I don't like it. It's disgusting. Keep your fucking bodily fluids to your fucking self. Shit pisses me off. If I don't want your bodily fluids on me, don't do it. I'll freak out. Just.

Oh yeah. I will freak out, okay? Fucking makes like, it's Joshy. Joshy's ready to fight for you. He's concerned. He's like, what are we doing? What just happened? What is going on?

He's like, mom, he's looking me in my eyes. We're right. Yeah, right Crunchy. Oh don't start that Look I'm looking up He's because he's mad. I forgot to tell you guys So did I tell you s'more Tasha had his face pressed against the gate like this, looking at the cows when I was talking to him. And Smore went down and was like, looked at him and then like went up to like, just kind of like sniff him a little bit. And Tachi was like, wow, and just like bit.

And Smore was like, damn, homie. Like, it was so funny, though. He just he don't like him. I don't know. I'm going to have to bring him in there to just. Oh, God. The dude can't fight today. The dude can't say today. The dude can't bite anybody. He's got what was it? He's got an underbite.

Like, that's not happening. There's no way that it's heard. Can we just talk about something off the record really quick? How about all the people who thought that TikTok was going away and fucking confessed like real shit. Yeah. I'm obsessed with these. Like what in the hell, like, but they confess like real shit.

Like how did you not think that TikTok was not coming back? I'm blown away. At least ours was a joke. I mean, some people took it serious. I don't know. There was a lot of, I don't know. Gay.

Yeah! Yeah! Gay. Tell me you're gay. I'm crying right now. No, I went on like a wormhole and someone made a whole collage of confesses and who they were and what the confession was. I said too much time.

The fitness people confessing they had BBLs. What? I didn't make it on that side. It took time. Yeah, I'm definitely not. Why do people have to confess they have a BBL? Like just fucking be honest from the gate, you know, literally so weird to me. Oh, I people who like keep secrets like that. I don't ever want to be friends with. That's fucking weird. If you present yourself to the world as like even like if you're like a fitness trainer and you really have a BBL, go fuck yourself.

Like you're false advertising. Exactly. I really feel like that's false advertising. That's why I'm so honest with everybody. I'm like, yes, I've had work done. It was fucking almost a decade ago now. You know, did it help? Absolutely. Did I do I have to keep it up every fucking week? Yes. But at least people can decide for themselves

if they want to fucking listen to me or not. You know, exactly. You're not hiding it. It's not misleading. But, you know, what about the people who, like, were advertising like shit to be sold and they're like, I know I didn't really use these. Yeah, it's just crazy. One of my favorite content creators, she makes like those like cool ice like things and ice molds and they're so pretty and whatever.

She was like, I never even ate any of the ice or use any of the ice. And I was like, what? She throws the ice away. Yeah, like it's like this big of a stack of like ice and I was like what? She just throws the ice away? Yeah, like it's like this big of a stack of like ice molds and they're all like fancy and stuff. It's like never, I never had any of the ice. I was like. And that's like what her whole thing is.

Her whole stick of the ice. What do you do now? She had all her ice molds and it was like hey, how y'all doing? That's a good one. That's a great one. Yeah, that does suck. I mean, but it does give the transparency of how unreal social media is. Yeah. And I feel like that was a rude awakening. A lot of people need to realize.

Y'all not think like it was like, yeah, coming back like we're going to still see that video. It's crazy. And I feel another thing is like everybody was ganging up on what's her face. Michaela, no, no, Guerra. And I never know how to pronounce her last name, but I get like. I get like them being frustrated with her for the past couple of weeks because she's been doing the sad fishing thing, like even for me, I'm like, I'm totally empathic to people and I'm like, fuck man, they're going through a hard time.

But it was almost. Ingenuine, because it was like she was just she saw that she got so much attention from it. So it was like every other video started to become that. And it was like, you have to really kind of pick and choose when you're you could be sad a couple of times, but you can't like the the Internet. Well, it does not give any context. Right. Not give give any context but also the internet will let you be sad once or twice and then after that they're gonna be like what the fuck is wrong with this chick you know that's how it turned was like it turned supportive to okay yeah

you know well it's cuz she's not telling people like what's going on it's like I hate when people do that too people ask for prayers on Facebook yeah Yeah, it's like say what you're fucking asking for. You don't have to tell the whole story. Yeah, just be like, hey man, this is what's going on. And I just I'm needing help. When you do that also you open up a ginormous window of assumptions. Of speculation. The amount of people who are like saying, oh, she's not wearing her wedding rings.

But then like now she goes on a date with her husband. Like, why did you just all of a sudden stop wearing your wedding rings? Yeah. During this whole process. But then it's like, Oh, but here's a date with my husband. Yeah, she I don't agree with the tactics she uses. I think she tries to I think she kind of tries to create narratives for herself. But it just comes off the wrong. Do you think it's to, I think she tries to create narratives for herself, but it just comes off the wrong way.

Do you think it's more of like, do you think like a PR team kind of thing? I don't think she has any fucking PR. Really? No. I don't think she has any PR. I mean, we could look it up. I'm sure my publicist could find out if she has PR. Give it to Google.

Give it a go. She might actually. I don't know. I don't think she has any PR. I think she's just, you know, old school, like just YouTube tactics, you know? I was hoping she. I don't understand why she gets all the hate she gets, though. Yeah. You know. Like, it's never made sense to me.

I think because a lot of people don't buy it. They thought her because she doesn't connect. Yeah. Well, that and they found old videos of when she didn't have that much of a forced accent. I don't see nothing. Yeah. Yeah, no, the video she made today, or I guess it would have been right before the band. There was a couple, the compilation,

and there was a couple in there where she did not have that same accent. Yeah, and it. I don't know. I mean, I think she has the accent, but it's like with New Yorkers. You can turn it on and off. It's like with Bailey. Literally, it's like with Bailey. She's she has a southern accent, but boy, you put her in front of a cute boy and it's raw raw raw, you know, like you know, literally, you know, but so I think I think anybody with an accent can turn it on or off and exaggerate it.

My husband can do it, too. Jay can do it, too. And he's Jay's very southern and how he talks always. But I mean, like if he drinks or he gets excited about something, man, it is fucking honky tonk. Comes out literally. No, no. OK, cool. No. Why would cool. No. Why would you think you have an accent? I don't know.

Do people from your area have accents? No, it's Midwest. I feel like there's no accent in the Midwest. No, I don't think so. There's certain words in the Midwest that have a little bit of an accent. I feel like the West Coast is the most proper speaking when like-

Or like Valley girls. Yeah, there's a lot of likes and ums and like hellas and dudes and bros. Yeah, those kind of things. Valley girls. Yeah, there's a lot of likes and ums and like tell us and dudes and bros. Yeah, those kinds of things. For sure. Yeah, for sure. For sure. I feel like, I think I looked at that one time.

I feel like because in that area, you have so much TV and stuff and you can't have accents on TV. They've talked about how over the years, the whole West coast doesn't have an accent while the rest of America and different dialects and shit does. Isn't that crazy?

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There's no way the world is going to lose out. We got gassed by TikTok. I think they switched servers. I think it is now an American owned company and they're not going to tell you because they know that people will leave Tick Tock or have meltdowns and it'll be a shit show. So I think they had to shut down for 12 hours to switch over to American servers. I feel like my conspiracy theory I've heard was that they wanted to like give Trump recognition for bringing it back. That's why the message had his name in it.

And stuff was like, we could get the younger generation back on his side. Yes, that's what I seen. Well, I don't know. I don't know about that. I think everything's a fucking just a play. And we're the stars. Literally, I think everything is just I think the government is a sham. OK, smoke mirrors smoke and mirrors, baby

there's always a fucking bigger batter person the president is just a puppet for what the Really higher up the amount of people that don't understand how the government works You can tell did not pay attention in history class because they were like this is all because of one person and I'm like what? Do you know how many levels it takes to even get to this person? And then once it's passed that person how many levels it takes I'm like, what? Do you know how many levels it takes to even get to this person? And then once it's past that person, how many levels it takes? I was like, brothers, that's why we say government, not just one singular person. There's so many people that control this stuff. Yeah, for sure.

Not to get political. Let's get off the. I'm sorry. Hold on. I got a I got a voicemail. All right, let's go. Let's get back to having fun Was that one of our friends who's brain friends. It was Braden. That's hilarious. He said, Hey, how you doing? How you doing? How are you doing? This one? Hurry up because I got a really good story I could tell. So quick story when I was 15. Hold on. What is up with all the dudes? We've had nothing but

dudes. This is the first time we've had dudes coming in hot. I love it. One of them recap. She was like, my husband watches Estelle confess with me every week and he had one I want to say that I'm like, dude, this is like these couples are like bombing over. I had more guys come up than girls. I love that. Isn't that crazy? All right, go. Hey, so quick story.

When I was 15, went over to my girlfriend's house and I love the acrobatics. You know, when they got a shower, they're nice and clean and lean over the bedside bedside, you full-gooch lick them ass all the way up, you know what I mean? All the way down. Anyhow, I did this, again, this one time she gets out, I lean her over, full-gooch, full-lick, I lick up shit. Literally just fucking gacking out shit on my tongue. The scene is embarrassing and again, it happens when I'm 20. This is five years now later. Boom, full-gooch lick, ate up shit. And I guess the evidence is like, you know, we need to be using lupus out there in the world and using proper body washing hygiene. I love how quick the dudes are, though.

They get straight to the point. Yeah. I was looking at us licked up, do do. I had the fact that he did it twice. No, but five years later, five years later. No, he said we need luffas. So he's just out here looking asses. He's just an ass licker. He's asking for it. I mean, I feel like that was getting your hand bit by, you know, feeding the bag kind of situation. I want to know how many times he's had pink eye. I want to know how many times he's had pink eye.

Oh, good question. Right. Good question. Jinx, you owe me a blow job. I'm surprised you fucking weirdos aren't holding hands. Do you guys want to hear this hilarious story or should I save it for next week? Strong and go. All right. It's kind of long. You guys ready? Give me the long one. We're holding on. Here we go. I was once at a friend's house, took a shit in the toilet, clogging it

like I have never clogged a toilet before. It was like trying to stuff two Idaho potatoes into a Gatorade bottle. Not gonna happen. Then I still had to shit big time. I frantically tried to plunge the turd down the toilet to no avail. So I peeked my head out of the bathroom

and yelled that I was going to shower real quick. I leave the two turds in the toilet, hoping that they will become waterlogged and squishy enough to get plunged. I hop in the shower and take another shit that I couldn't hold in. Yes, I shit on the floor of the tub. What came next was one of the most horrifying, unusual, and yet strangely satisfying experiences of my life. I was scared to death about what to do since there was no way I could put this thing into the toilet and try to flush it down. By the way, it smelled way worse than when you shit into a toilet bowl. I guess being submerged takes that smell away. So I couldn't wrap it in a towel or anything. I was freaked

out big time. There happened to be a wire coat hanger on the towel rack. So I took that and I began slicing up my turd on the floor of the shower into little pieces, bite-sized, you could say, and then shoving them down the drain of the shower one by one. Occasionally, the water would back up a little bit, so I'd have to push the hanger down the drain to clear things up. For those that have never manhandled a turd, the consistency is bizarre.

It's sort of grainy like girls' exfoliating soaps, but it's also random, firm pieces in the turd itself, sort of like when you make brownies from the box and you get a lump of brownie mix that isn't meshed with the wet ingredients. After that was done, the toilet situation was still unresolved. So there I was, kneeled over my friend's toilet with a coat hanger, ham-fisting my turbs back into the shower, slicing them into more manageable pieces so they could go down the drain. I thought you were gonna say he waffle stomp them.

By the end of the third turn. I was a master. I could slice it up like one of those Asian chefs the pooh chef then I then I scrubbed my hands and the tub with antibacterial. So like never before. After all that, I pissed in the sink because at that point, why the fuck not? You just had to get the icing on the cake. You pissed in the sink. There's every hole in there.

Just every fucking hole. I was not. I feel like this was the beginning of the poo chef. They need to meet. Who's the push? Remember the knife? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, the turd trotter. Cut it up.

Yep. How to cut it up every time. Their cousins same person different font. Yeah. Yeah. I wonder if they know each other. What's up with all the dudes writing in though? I love it.

That was a guy? Yeah, I think I mean I could not hear a woman talking like that. I know how we talk. I mean, but we're not, I know we're kind of manly. I love the fact that like the dynamic of this show has shifted literally. And the men are like, wait, I want to be a part of this. Yeah. Men are like, you know what?

We let ladies we let you have your moment. These next two are for us. Oh, I love it. I love it. You guys write in call. We love it. Thank you guys for loving us and doing ask how confess with us every week and just giving us things to laugh about it's fucking hilarious all right you love okay love you guys see you next week