Dumb Blonde - Ask, Tell, Confess: Vacation Story Nightmare

Episode Date: August 7, 2026

Ask, Tell, Confess is back, and somehow we end up in a full-blown war against wicker. It starts with the new movie Wicker and quickly spirals into wicker furniture, unfortunate splinters, and why Bunnie thinks the whole damn thing should be illegal.Bunnie also clears the air about the new Cali vacation house, why Nashville will always be home, and what’s really happening with Crunchy, S’more, and all the animals on the farm.Then we get into your wildest vacation stories—from mystery poop in Alaska and traumatizing hotel moments to drunk shower hookups in Mexico and Bunnie’s own disastrous Tijuana detour.Turns out y’all have been doing some absolutely feral shit on vacation, and we didn’t even make a dent in these submissions. So yeah… Part 2 is happening.Watch Full Episodes & More: YouTube

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Welcome to another ask talent. The way you chomp is wild. I know. It's so loud. It's like my teeth are wooden. You would think I have like wooden teeth, right? That's crazy. Speaking of wooden way, have you guys seen the trailer for the new movie Wicker?

No. You haven't? What is it? It's like, Wicker? I fucking hate Wicker furniture. It pisses me off. Well, not furniture. Oh.

It's this lady that, like, wants a man so bad. And she has a guy, like, create her a man from Wicker. Oh, my. And in the UK trailer, they literally show his dick. What it's all right? It's not bad. The cut? Everyone's like, bring it up.

Bring it up. I want to see the trailer. Dude, I can't fucking stand with her furniture. The comments are crazy. Everyone's like, I mean. Do I find this on YouTube or? Yeah. Damn, they got the dong on the tube?

Oh, that's crazy. On the U.K. But the comments on this are wild. Is the don't big? What's the comments? Clearly it's a little popular number one search. It's from far away. You can see it, but of course, everyone.

Is it a bush or no bush? Is it uncircumcised? No bush. Because it's in Europe, is it uncircumcised? Do we have an ant eater? He's got our friend in it. Is it an ant eater? But you can like, there's this one part where he's laying down and you hear like,

you hear it like stretching. whatever and everyone's like, you know what that is, right? Getting a boner. Yeah. Oh my God. I didn't put it together. I fucking hate Wicker. It pisses me off.

I had to grow up with Wicker furniture. I love a good Wicker. Yeah, I like Wicker. You would. Not the ads. Is this it? Yep. That's our friend.

Oh, it's definitely not washed. I love him. Oh, it's our guy. Yeah. Is it his don't? Oh, no. Oh. He creates him.

I was kind of looking forward to it if it was his. Definitely. original movie. I fucking hate Wicker. God, looking at it pisses me off. Because I don't like this. It's the part. Okay, it might be right here. There. Oh, yep. It was hanging. Listen. Okay. Turn it off. Okay. Who can. Oh, hey. Not her banging the wicker wiener, dude. Yeah. Are you kidding? What the fuck? And if we get flagged if we cuss on YouTube, like what the hell? Front row. All right.

Imagine getting like one of the, you know, sometimes wicker breaks. It's probably going to be a fucking Imagine getting a splinter in your vagina. I just got a visual, like a delayed visual, dude. And this is probably going to be a fucking box office hit. Oh, for sure, bro. Yeah. Fucking only Haley would know about this shit. This is your FYP. This is your flip for sure.

This is my flip. All right. Well, we are back. We are recovering. We have been in Nashville just chilling. And you know, Well, we got to clear something up. Yeah, let's clear some hair up, guys. We got to clear something up because the internet isn't an uproar. Because they think that I'm leaving Crunchy and Smoor. How dare they? I would never.

I have spent every day with Crunchy and Smoor since I've been home. Crunchy is so spoiled now that he literally tried to attack me yesterday because he didn't want me to leave. But I need you guys to understand something. The Cali home is a vacation home. Yeah, we're not moving. If I need to do a fucking podcast run out there, we have it. but Nashville will always be home.

This is my peace. This is like where I come to Zen out and just heal. And yeah, I could never, ever, ever leave my animals ever. I saw some girl made a video the other day and she's like, what about crunch?

Like, dude, when I'm gone, they love our new farmhand wit so much that they, smore goes up to him and like snuggles with him. Smore will not even snuggle with me. Like they're so well taken care of. And do you guys know how many people have animals that travel?

Like, you guys, it's, you know, we're going to bring them on the plane. Stop putting so much pressure on your girl. I'm just trying to live my life. Yeah, but like, you know, you guys, just let your girl fucking live a little. Yeah, you're, you know, just having fun right now. So this is your fun vacation home when the weather gets. Because honestly, you guys, it's rained every day this entire summer in Nashville. And when it snows out here, like I like a break from the snow.

I would like to go some fucking sunshine in the middle of December. when my depression hits, you know? So I've just always wanted a West Coast housing. And you have so many friends out there too. It's nice to be able to just go and get a break. So many friends. Pretty little baby. She said no, no.

All right. So anyways, yeah, I'm glad we cleared that up, guys. No, um, no moving. We're not moving. No leaving the crunchy. No leaving the smorkel, Nova and don't. You've also worked so hard. on your new home. I don't think people realize this has been like a long journey. This will always

be home. Literally. That house is like where our heart is. That house is customized to me and it's still being fucking decorated and I'm living in a construction zone right now. Every day. It's good. I'm getting through it. Yeah. Fucking just this year has been, um, interesting to say the least. Um, but I've learned so much about myself this year. I am so fucking patient now. Like you really are. You like, sometimes you have to check my pulse because I'm so relaxed about things. You're kicked back about everything. Nothing gets you in a tizzy.

Patience has been a virtue for me this year. And I kind of dig it. I love it. Yeah. I'm just like, whatever, go with the flow. And everything always works out. Everything always works out. I've learned that when you don't chase, you attract.

And it is so real, dude. That's so true. It's so real. Like, there's nothing in the world that you can't have as long as you don't chase it. When you chase it, you're kind of like gripping it with like closed fists. but when you just hold shit like this, it just like flies into your hand like little butterflies. Little butterflies.

I was on the back half of the property the other day and there was three little butterflies and it was a black and blue one and two blonde. Uh-uh. Yeah. She's in a picture. Her house is. Yeah.

She's literally three of us together and they were just all flying around each other. No, you don't ever capture a butterfly. We can make a little house for them. No. They have to be free. Baby, we're free butterflies ourselves. What would we do? How do we act when we get captured? Yeah, what happens when your cage did lock down,

Haley? Yeah. How do we, what do we do? Let's be real for a second. Bank fees are one of those things that just drive me crazy. You're already trying to get ahead and then your bank turns around and charges you for existing? No thanks. That's honestly why I like chime. No monthly fees, no minimum balance fees, no overdraft fees. It just keeps things simple. I also love that you can earn 5% cash back in a you choose, like gas or groceries, and you're already spending money on that stuff anyway. And on top of that, you're building credit through your everyday purchases with no credit check. If you're trying to be a little smarter with your money, Chime Savings account earns a rate that's nine times the national average, so your money can work a little harder for you. Plus, life happens if you're ever in a pinch.

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Sign up now. It only takes a few minutes. Chime is a fintech, not a bank. Banking services and Chime card provided by Chime's bank partners, qualifying direct deposits required terms and limits apply. go to chime.com slash disclosures for details. I know. But we can have pets out in nature.

We should grow butterflies. Can we grow butterflies when we get back? That would be awesome. Olivia did that one year. It was so much fun. They were all monarchs. And then she let them off in the backyard and he hung around for like two days and then took off.

Oh. You know, let's do it. It's so beautiful. Mortaring the kit. Let's do it. What's the fucking barn going to be built is what I want to know? The permitting is. I need horses asap.

Let's go. Let's go. I can't wait. I cannot wait for the horses to be in the backyard. But we did get a new home for our chickens, and they're living their best little life right now. And did you see her post them? No. Oh my gosh.

They're living their best little life out at Marissa's house right now. Is she the one that took the pigs too? No. Oh, okay. No, no. Marissa's. Oh, gotcha, gotcha. Yeah.

They ended up taking them. And she keeps sending me screenshots from their farm group chat. And they're like, we named this one. Sally. Sally Jesse Raphael? Yeah, that's one of the chickens names. I love that. That is so funny.

This one's so friendly. I was like, I know it's a sweet little baby. They're in good hands. They literally are. I'm so excited. I know. That's where we're not bringing them. I can hate them.

That was the one stipulation when I was like, listen, man, if we're going to cohabitate together, you can't be the crazy bird lady. I was like, I cannot fucking handle bird shit everywhere. 4.30 this morning, Jimmy C started. It was rough. No. Are you not getting rid of the roosters?

We are, they're going to different families. We had so many roosters. They couldn't all go to one farm because they already had roosters. So like these roosters are going to them. These roosters are going to them. Yeah. All right. Can I bring my turkey?

Just one fucking turkey on the property? He's in the back. Isn't he going to be lonely though? Like, I'll hang with him. Won't be lonely long. I know. If he's lonely now.

Yeah. I don't free in the back. I feel like we need a girlfriend for him or something, dude. I don't know. He's attached to people. He's not attached to other birds because he's been alone after we lost Roseanne. So he just kind of hangs out. All right.

Yeah. He loves cows. He loves don't. I'm down for a turk. A lone turd. Yeah. I'm going to have to figure it out. Honey, try to mount someone the other day.

What? She's a girl, though. Yeah, and she's little. She's tiny. It's a lot donkey. It's literally you. You're Miss Honey. What the hell?

That's crazy. That's a learned behavior. I don't know. I had no idea where it came from. Where did she learn that from? Not on our farm. Yeah, you guys fucking in the woods and shit. I got neighbors.

I can't. Oh, you just fucking our woods. There's no neighbors back there. Did he come on a tree? Came in me. Whoa. Wowza. Are we trying for another baby?

Fuck now. That factory is shut down. Girl. No, my baby fever is going to come out with you. Oh, fuck. my little nugget. Oh my goodness. All right. So let's talk about the, what did we pick today for the subject? Because I, we have been, you guys, listen, I don't know if it's like, Ask Talcifest is just picking up or whatever on YouTube, but so many people have sent in stories and it's just,

it's crazy. We might have to do a part too because there's so many of them, but yeah, we were talking about vacation homes because we're so excited about our vacation home in L.A. and we figured we want to hear your craziest vacations. Craziest vacation. I got worse vacations. So, oh, I love. I love that I can't weigh. I got some pretty gnarly vacation stories. I don't think any of mine were good. I mean, who wants to hear about a good vacation? Nobody, I don't.

I want to hear crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. Like, who cares that you had a good fucking vacation? All right, who wants to kick this off? You kick it off. Oh, fuck. Put me on the spot right there.

All right, hold on. Let me get my bifogles on. Let me get my bifogles on. Paige Van Zant, the fighter. I love her to death. Fucking so hot. You guys go check out her only fans. She's fucking amazing.

She wrote in and she said, Went to Alaska on Christmas Eve. Drink too much champagne in the hot tub. Woke up alone on the couch with a broken foot and shit on the table. Not sure whose, but I was alone downstairs. So went the rest of the trip in Alaska on crutches in the snow, ate shit like 10 times. I waited about six months before I told my family about the table shit.

I spent all day Christmas day in the ER getting a cast put on. Bro, what? Why do people shit on things when they get drunk? I've never done that. Me either. I don't wish I could shit that blackout. Bro, I wish I could shit that easy. I have to like concentrate, you know, and like wiggle around to get stuff out.

There's probably get that checked. I just did with you and have the most beautiful butthole ever. You look great. Yeah, on the inside, my butthole is great. Yeah, so shout out page. Everybody's shitting when they're fucking drunk. I just don't, I don't get it, dude. Was it the coffee table, do you think?

She said a pool table, right? She shit on the pool table. If it's a pool, you can't scrub that out. That's going to be there for a second. That is in the fabric. But here's the thing. You can, this is going to be so graphic, but you can't poop without peeing. Oh, it's wet.

Do you think if it was a pool table, do you think she did it, tried to get it in the hole? That's a really hard. Yeah, I just thought of it. How do you know? Bleep, bleep this name, Jason. He said when we accidentally left him at he pooped in the hole of one of the golf courses on the way back because he had a shit so bad

and it was such a long walk. I didn't know that. Oh my God. My God. He told me this last trip. That's crazy. He just told me this. It's so funny.

Bro, I'm fucking saying something in when I see him. Please ask him about poopies. Hold on. Those holes are small. That had to be really good aim. Bro, he hovered. He stopped. Yeah.

He literally, he fucking hovered, dude. Do you think he was holding onto the pole? Stop. You have to take the pull out. You got to take the pull out, I think. And that's like what he used as a crutch. Okay, but hold on. Think about the person who hits a ball in one of those.

He just sticks. It just sticks. you go to reach for the ball and there's literally just a log a log right there and you know that long ago either and he eats pretty healthy so there's definitely corn or broccoli in there too like he said that's a nice color yeah got some weight oh my god dude he told me and jason the story so i know it's true that's fucking funny yeah that is so fucking funny dude i believe that name in uh I love that people get so comfortable with us

that they just divulge information. I love it. I love to get people very vulnerable and let them just tell me the wildest shit is made. And then air it out. And then air it out. We don't even blackmail people because we don't care to blackmail

and we just want the information to share with all of you guys at home. A hundred percent. Someone the other day was like, I can't tell you that piece of information because I feel like you, Haley and Bunny will talk about it on the podcast. I said, I would never.

And in your head, I was like, go ahead and tell me. Already texted us in the group chat. Guys, we got info. Oh, don't ever come to us and tell one of us to keep a secret because the whole fucking coven knows. There's no way. It is in the group chat immediately.

Absolutely. We share all photos. We share. Probably why men are scared. We'll blackmail each other with the photos last night. Oh, no. We don't blackmail. Oh, that.

She's about to say, nope. We make it each other's contact fucking pictures. Hold on. Let me share this voice note from Bunny last night. Oh, fuck. Because I've never heard you laugh this fucking hard. Bro, we were crying. This was my favorite.

Let me just tell you, I blackmailed her and I ended up with. I fucking hate it. Dude, I said something about. She sent me this like cute. Yeah. Right? From that. Oh, he's so hot.

I said that. I was like, I was like, no, be sweet to him. Oh, wait, from other. And then she was like, yes. And so I said another. Yeah, I was like, no, be sweet to him. And she was like, boom. And just fucking poked my eye out.

I was like, bro. It was so fucking funny. I'm also like, like, my kids are like in the bed and I'm like holding my phone like this. Charlie text you. Bro, all I know is I got a video this week that is. She said I fell out of my bed. I mean, okay, it was one of those videos where you literally. press play

don't know she's she's don't know what to expect and then it it happens and you're just like like it literally

took my breath away like it was how do you look away from that yeah I didn't I didn't look away I measured every inch with my eyeballs okay it was yeah

the tremble in your voice right now bro I'm scared like that I did show Jaime yeah it's like an old edition network remote not like the new ones where they're like That's crazy.

Bro, I don't even know what I did. I don't know. I don't know. When I called it yesterday? Oh, God. She was like, yeah. You showed me. Oh, yeah.

What did she say? Just bleep her name. I have her cracking up all the fucking time, dude. She is literally like, it's the funniest. She said, I've never been. She said, I've never been blessed with one of those. One of those has never found me. I was like me either sister until fucking two years ago.

That is so funny. No, it was crazy. Yeah. So anyways, you got a story for us? Yeah. We're all hot and bothered over here. Yeah, no, it's a little, why is it so hot in here right now? I'm glad I watched Twitter.

Yeah, we ruined everyone's algorithm with that. Yeah. This one's short and sweet and said, this person got married in Turkey randomly. and I don't even know where my marriage certificate is. I need more information on this. How do you just go to Turkey and marry someone? Also, is that legal? Don't you have to go through like customs and get a green card and all that shit?

Yeah, I would like to know about that. Yeah, I need to know too. I don't believe that. There was a lot of planning that went into that. Imagine getting married. Isn't there like a movie about that where they get like married on a vacation? There's a couple. There's what happens in Vegas with assets.

fashion culture and Cameron Diaz. Then there's... That's like that guy trying to... No. Is what happens in Vegas with Cameron Diaz or with Britney Murphy? Yeah, I thought it was Britney Murphy. It was Britney Murphy because I met them whenever they were on doing the tour for that movie. This is insane.

Pretty sure. She's taking a selfie in the middle of the... Yeah, in the middle of the podcast. We need a whole photo shoot. Listen, I'm busy, guys. I got a whole other life to worry about it. You clearly do. Crazy.

Yeah, no. You think we should. It makes me work all the time. Let's put these selfies in the podcast, Jason. Okay. So I want you, as it's happening, flash the selfies onto the screen. Add a random sound effect at each one too.

Yeah, that would be great. Just a little montage. Like, ka-ching, kach-k-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch. Do you guys like when corn dogs are crispy or soft? You can't have a fucking soggy-house corn dog. Half-soggy dog. I feel like Haley would like that. You like soft?

I do like when they're a little crispy but not too hard Sonics are great Show me how you eat the The butt nugget of the corn dog off the stick I try to see how far you can get the stick The butt nugget Like you know the little hard part at the end of a corn dog

How do you get Show me how you eat it I bring it up I bring it up on the stick That's exactly what I would assume Like a little chin up Just shaving your teeth on that wooden sick Oh

That hits my stimulation so hard I don't like Oh, yeah. That wouldn't. Imagine running your teeth over that. I don't like that. I'll fucking barf. I hate that too whenever you do.

Popsicles. Bitch. You all right today? I know. I just made my insides hurt. Damn. Between you and Matt, I can't handle it. You guys are going to make me fucking puke.

I don't like that. I had to send him a cute little selfie. It's cute. I'm blind. I can't see. I like it. Very good. Listen, they should have never let me in the streets.

I fucking love it here. Love it. Welcome. You've been trying to get me in the streets forever, sister. And now we had so much fun together and fucking Callie, dude. Bro. Girl. I'm still recovering.

I'm ready. I'm ready to go. Okay. Nothing terrible. But when my dad and I were in the Bahamas, he was in the shower. and I was in the other room and I heard him have a massive orgasm. Hold on. He doesn't know I heard it, but it was pretty scarring.

That's fucking disgusting. First off, why? Secondly, why is he? It's the fact it started off with nothing terrible, but. That's really terrible. Was he whacking off or was he fucking somebody? If he's in the shower, he's probably alone. Why are you coming that loud in the shower by yourself?

Oh! Like, why are you doing that? He probably thought he was alone. She probably came back to like get a sandwich. I simply pass away. There's no fucking way to. I can never look at my dad again. No.

I would call you out on it. What the fuck are you doing in there and why are you doing it with me in the fucking house? I don't knock on the door out. I'm like, stop. I'm just cocked on the wall. Just pissed off. You better fucking knock it off.

What the fuck are you doing? I like this voice. I like that voice. I'd be so fucking. That's good. Dude, that's a line that you don't cross. No, nobody wants to hear.

They're fucking dad doing weird shit. Ew. Triggering. Yeah. Ew. Read my book. Read my book and you'll understand why. God.

Jaime, you got one? I do actually. Everyone really liked you on camera, Jaime. Yeah, they did. They loved you. You got good one-liners. Thanks. I don't know if I'm still high from last night.

It was so funny today. You guys smile for a picture. Do we do the same thing? I did middle finger. I assumed it was to him. Which one? Yeah. I would have done P-Sign if it was the other one.

Just kidding. Keep nice. Well, I thought it was for Facebook. Okay, go ahead, Harvey. All righty. So gave my man head, sorry, gave my man head drunk in the shower in Mexico. Oh, I read the- You'd read that one?

Yep, go ahead. Passionate as hell with the water running. That's how she wrote it running. Running. Must have, must have swallowed some water and the next day had the runs for the next, for the rest of the trip. That's the worst. Mexico water will fuck you up.

See, I've been to Mexico a few times and I never had a problem with the water, never had a problem with the ice, but I literally went out there one time and I had a rash that started right here that went down my chest and it was so itchy. I looked like elephant skin. I had to have a fucking doctor come and give me a shot in Mexico of like a steroid shot to make the swelling go down and disappear. What? Did it work though? Oh, like that. Yeah. Do Mexican drugs? Mexican drugs are weird. I was not about Europe drugs. I was just about to say. I learned when we were in Europe dude. I still have the nasal spray. I straight up had a fucking fever. I haven't had a fever and God knows how long 100 something degree fever.

I mean, my worst fucking fear came about while we were abroad. And I have never had antibiotics. Tylenol and whatever else they fucking prescribed me, literally was like within 24 hours. Well,

we all were sick, but we all were better than the next day. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, mine was a little bit longer. But the throat spray.

And she nasal shot it. Bro. I forgot about that. She was like, nasal shot. Someone was supposed to go down her throat. She was like, why am I numb?

I said it's burning. They did the other nose. No, it was bad. That was so funny, dude. None of us could read it. No. We were all taking shit that wasn't in English. Yeah.

We were just, we were Googling. It was on French. Yeah, we were Googling like parsimidol or something like that was Tylenol. And then like I needed a Z pack. And they're like, what's a Z pack? And I'm like, I don't know, antibiotics. Like I needed something. And I had, oh, dude, it was crazy.

But yeah. Any sort of medication that is outside of the U.S. Top tier. Yeah, 100%. You can go up to Mexico on just like a street corner. Yeah. And get whatever the hell you want. Yeah.

Viagra. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I actually went to Tijuana one time. There we go. There we go. I actually went to Tijuana one time. I was so drunk.

I was at this place called Cheyenne Saloon in Las Vegas where they do like, it's a place where like bands go and they just have like battle of the bands and stuff like that. This is back in my Xanax days. So I was quite wild. And we were in the parking lot. And I'm like, let's go to fucking Tijuana and see the donkey show. And so I literally bullied, bullied my friends. I was like, you fucking bitch, you don't want to go to Tijuana.

I'm like just so fucked up, right? Made my car full of friends drive nine hours to Tijuana, right? Nine fucking hours from Vegas to Tijuana. It's not even fun on hour three. Oh, I woke up sober and hung over in Tijuana and was so. mad that they brought me to fucking Tijuana that I made them, I went to the pharmacy, bought a whole bunch of fucking blue valiums and some other pills from there, because this is like back in the day when you could get like hydrocodone. You can literally go to Mexico,

walk into a freaking pharmacy, buy all the pills you could possibly want and leave. We were there for 30 minutes and I made everybody leave and go home and drive me back home. Terrible. Terrible. That's the wildest. What? Terrible fucking human. That's the worst vacation story ever. That's the worst vacation story. Terrible. Terrible. human I was. Yes. I mean, I was strung out on fucking pills and drugs. How dare you take me to Tijuana after I bullied you to bringing me to fucking Tijuana? You know, like, God, I could never imagine being like that now and thank God I'm freaking sober, but man, back then pills were, had a, had a hold of me. So you act like completely different human.

It did. I like the pills after the surgery. We just had a lot. I couldn't take him. I took him for like the day of because I was in so much pain. And then after that, I was just like, every single one of them. Jason goes, we need to chill. Said you're a month out. You're not even,

you're not even, you're not even funny. That's fucking funny. I know, I went on like a crazy pill bender and then like went and drink 10 days straight with you guys and I came home and I was like,

that's crazy. Relapse on THC. It's a whole thing. What? Yeah, I took edible's last night. Nice. Did you see us?

We both said, it won't be me. Yeah. Or Haley, you haven't fucking eaten an edible or smoked since. Never again. When she had her ego death. That was crazy.

On a plane. No, not only did Haley fucking have an ego death, she had to travel and work in between that ego death. It was like important shit. So we were like landed, how to drive to fucking Utah. Don't remember doing your makeup. Don't remember anything.

Oh, dude. She was literally in the corner of an airplane just like fucking tripled up. Fucked it off. She made me never want to fucking try. weed again, dude. Oh, yeah, no, it was a good time. No, I was really happy last night. All right, guys, we're going to do a part two because we didn't get to tell too many of you guys' this story, so next week we will do a lot more vacation stories. Love you guys. See you guys next week.

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