Dumb Blonde - Ask, Tell, Confess: Wash Your Ass, Wash Your Chicken

Episode Date: April 18, 2025

Bunnie kicks off Ask, Tell, Confess by sharing her at-home spray tan technique (warning: cheeks may be spread), and things only get wilder from there. The girls asked for anonymous food service confessions, and now they’re questioning every meal they’ve ever eaten. From tampon hands in the ice bin to scissoring in the walk-in freezer, spit coffee, and ball-buttered rolls, no one is safe. Reminder - be nice to your food handlers!Watch Full Episodes & More:www.dumbblondeunrated.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Sign up for your $1 a month trial at Shopify.com slash listen. Hey guys, I need to ask you a question. I want to know why in the hell are you not on Patreon? I don't think you guys even realize how much content we have on Patreon. Let me break it down for you. We have the Bunny XO show. We have Meet the Deforts. We have propaganda, we have more shows that we're adding, and not to mention we have the visuals of the podcast. Not only that, we have four

tiers that caters to everybody's budget and everybody gets the podcast. There's no more excuses. Head over to www.patreon.com backslash DumbLon podcast and sign up. Stop missing out. We have built a huge community over there guys. I'm talking about hundreds of thousands of people over there. We even have live chats, live chats that I actually am talking in every single night. Last but not least, we give away gifts every fricking month. I'm talking like signed stuff from JNI, lives,

you just never know what kind of surprise you're gonna get. It's like a cracker jack box. I love the community that we've built over there at Patreon. If you are already a Patreon member, I freaking love you dude. Thank you so much. You guys are my babies for life, my writers. If I could, I would literally make out with each and every one of you. I love you guys so much, and that's a lot of kisses, actually, gotta go bye. Ask, tell, confess. Ask, tell, confess.

Ask, tell, confess. Ask, tell, confess. Ask, tell, confess. Ask, tell, confess. Ask, tell, confess. Ask, tell, confess. Ask, tell, confess. Ask, tell, confess.

Ask, tell, confess. Ask, tell to confess. Hello friends. Welcome to another ask to confess. How was that? Did we like it? I like that one too. You always, you always come up with good ones. Oh gosh. So I just want to let everybody know I'm sitting here before you,

a bronzed golden bubbly goddess. You are progressively getting darker. Yeah. My neck and my fucking face do not match right now. Let me just tell you that I did level two today on my new spray tan machine I bought from my house and it has a three to four hour window where you, it's an express tan. So you only have to keep it on for three or four hours.

What? I know. That is your, that is right up your alley. Right up my alley. Haley will literally sleep in it for three days. I, no offense to any of the girlies that does this, do this at home, but I cannot sleep in a spray tan. No.

How do you sleep in a spray tan? I know like, okay, I don't spray tan, but I have seen on TikTok where girls have like specific sheets designed for their sleeping spray tans and stuff. No, no. One, I wouldn't want to smell that all night while I'm sleeping.

Two, I would feel so dirty and grimy and if you happen to just sweat a little bit in your sleep You're running and stuff. Oh, not even running just the smell that would emit off of you. There's no freaking way No, and I just want to tell you guys for the record Getting a spray tan and washing it off four hours later after getting it on is the same as sleeping in it. Haley would argue that, but I believe it because I've watched your spray tans look perfectly fine after washing it. Yes, like you don't have to sleep in it all night.

I couldn't sleep in all those chemicals. This is the only like real chemically thing I do to my body besides Botox and I couldn't sleep in it. There's no way. No, I don't want to jump out of my skin. Bunny had me spray tan one time and I look like someone literally shat through a screen door. So we're not doing that.

She goes, you want to tan? I said, no. No, we're going to get you in the tanning booth. Okay. Yeah, we have to. Jaime. You got to give it one more chance. Can we spray tan you?

I've never done it before, but I am down. Will you spread your cheeks in there? You can never done it before, but I am down. Will you spread your cheeks in there? You can do that. Spread the old Mike Honchos. Oh yeah, I've been over and spread my cheeks whenever I get sprayed. Just spray your balls.

I can't stand the lines under people's asses. I'm just tearing everybody up today. But you know the lines, the tan lines that people get under their ass cheeks? You never have that if you bend over and just fucking spread your cheeks, wallet sprays be bent over. And then as the spray goes up your back, stand up, you know,

instead of just having that fucking flappy flap underneath. Now I'm good. And I got a whole lot of ass. So if I fucking had those white fucking marks under my legs, oh, under my cheeks, it would be down to my fucking kneecap. So, you know, I can't do it, dude. I can't fucking do it.

This is great. I love that we opened the segment with this. Yeah. I'm enjoying it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, so speaking of segments, we did something new on Patreon. If you're a Patreon member, you know that you,

that if you guys want to partake in the show every week, all you gotta do is just subscribe. And I think you can subscribe any tier and you can do this. Yeah, everyone gets to be a part of Ask To Confess. Welcome to the community. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this week, Mimi had a great idea of asking people if they've ever worked in the fast food,

if they've ever worked in food service to give us all of their secrets. Like was the food fresh, prepackaged or what? Was there something that would make you never eat there now? What's the worst thing you ever saw someone do to a drink or food? And we promise to keep everybody anonymous. And let's just say I'm never eating out again.

I never, ever, ever want to eat anywhere. Anywhere. I'm already weird about shit, but now it's fucking confirmed. Every restaurant I even slightly enjoyed was on the list. Bro, it's fucking rough. We might even do this for two ass-style confessions because it's crazy.

There is well over a hundred comments already and I only posted this last night. I can't imagine how far this is going to because it is definitely trending on our Patreon right now because even people are going in and reading the stories and commenting under, it's a lot guys. No, it's brittle. Why don't we, you go ahead and kick it off. All right, you kick it off.

So this one, again, we are keeping everyone anonymous because I did read some of these that you guys are currently working at these places and you're sharing their secrets. This person isn't currently working there, but they used to clean for a dining, like a very fine dining restaurant in Greectown, Detroit. I don't know what Greectown, Detroit is,

but I know never to eat there now. An hour before closing, they got a table. I watched the cook grab rice out of the garbage, just scoop the rice out of the garbage and put it on someone's plate. Disgusting, I about puked. FYI, don't eat at the Parthenon if you come to Detroit. Oh my God.

I am such a weirdo about things that enter the trash are never to come back out of the trash. Ever. Jason knows like if even if he was to accidentally just throw something on top or I have a weird, weird thing about things that enter the trash can't come back out. Yeah, same.

I don't like it. You just scooped someone's rice and put it on their plate? Bro. That's so fucking gross. Like, all right. So this lady said, oh Lordy Lord, I've been in the service industry for about six years and I've seen some questionable things,

but this may be the icing on the cake. When I was a manager at the sports bar, it was closing time and two of my coworkers were there. I said my piece and left. I had to turn around because I forgot my phone and I noticed that the cooler light was left on. I walk in and those two coworkers were scissoring each other in the cooler.

I was shook. Let me fucking tell you something. I have never seen scissor sisters in real life. And that was a sight to see. Long story short, the bartender was engaged to one of my husband's best friends. He was outside waiting for her in the car while she was scissoring in the fucking freezer.

Scissor me Timbers, what? Yeah. Could you just imagine the juices splashing everywhere? Cause I mean, they don't cover everything in deep freezes. I don't think, you know, sometimes they have like lettuce and stuff just laying. But my thing is, is like your husband's outside.

Why not invite him to join? Why not take it home? Why do it in the cooler? I mean. Whose vagina can get wet in a fucking cooler? Oh, could you imagine frostbite on your pussy lips? No, I could not. Like that beef jerky lips?

No, no, thank you. I don't want that. The beef jerky, the little shriveled up lips? Just all shriveled up pruney lips? Like who wants that? There's nothing warm and inviting about a cooler. I mean, maybe they, it's hot and heavy and they needed to cool down a bit, but golly.

But here's my thing, were they using a toy? Was there something in between that they were scissoring together or were they just mashing hootenannies? I think they were just mashing hootenannies. That doesn't feel good. I've done it before. It doesn't feel good.

There's nothing that feels good about mashing hootenannies. Imagine mashing hootenannies on the mash taters. That is just so wrong, bro. No. It's so bad. No. Okay, I will tell you though, when I was going through these stories, I didn't even read that one. The amount of things that happen in a walk-in freezer is very disheartening. It's kind of scary because you can get locked in there too.

Is there not an escape button? I don't know. I'm not sure. I know a couple of people have died in freezers before. What? Yeah, there's a couple of people that have died in freezers. Oh, you know what? Yeah. Someone died at Walmart by my house one time. My first dead body I saw was at Walmart.

She fell behind the milk. What? Yeah. What do you mean she fell behind the milk? I don't know. They just found her behind the milk. I used to work at Walmart. And like back there in that cooler area, you can for sure.

If you died in there, it's going to be wild before anybody finds you. Because it's just stacks of milk, eggs. Yeah, she died the night before and I was shopping that next afternoon when they were wheeling her out. Wow. That's crazy. So she had like a medical emergency. I don't know whatever happening probably or slipped maybe like if it's wet back there. Can you imagine that your final resting place?

Oh my gosh. Walmart freezer. Right by the oat milk or something, you know, just. Oh, well I don't drink milk. But by the way, you guys both worked at Walmart. Yeah. Hey, we work at Walmart. That's what I said, Walmart gang.

That's crazy. Gang gang. Hated crazy. Gang gang. Hated every second of it. This one said, I worked at Sonic in high school and I watched a girl, I watched a girl pull a tampon out and throw it in the trash and then put her hands into the ice bin

where the drinks are made just to eat the ice. They would also wash off the cups that fell on the floor and reuse them. This is why I won't eat fast food unless I'm like going through like severe PMS and just have to have something. I literally, if I order something from a fast food restaurant, I will open it up and peel it apart to dissect it

before I'll eat it because I don't trust motherfuckers, dude. I mean, you're just out there not washing your hands after you're out there pulling tampons out in front of people. And then just fucking touching people's food. But my thing is like, why would you not have the same consideration for other people that you would for yourself?

Are you doing that for yourself? Do you go home and do that? I mean, that just might be one of those nasty, habited people that's like, you literally do that at home to yourself. The amount of times I wash my hands is sickening. I mean, I kind of feel like it's a little OCD, like, especially if I'm cooking,

I don't know if that by you, but like, if I touch something while I'm cooking, I'm like, the water's kind of running, I just, every two seconds. Yeah. It's weird, raw chicken and stuff. I'm always washing, I wash my chicken. People think I'm weird cause I wash my chicken.

Oh, I got so much hell on one video cause I said that. Yeah. They were like, you spray salmonella when you wash chicken. Listen, I've been washing chicken all my fucking life and I'm fine, okay? I don't want to fucking eat slimy ass fucking chicken bro. Okay. Wash your ass. Wash your chicken. Okay. So you got to do it.

We name this podcast wash your ass and wash your chin. Yeah, please. Because I'm tired of it, dude. Listen, when you open up that wrapping of chicken. First of all, there is nothing but like yellow slimy juice in there. And you're telling me that you don't want to wash that off. You want to fucking just that that adds to the flavor. Does it give it a little zing? Like I don't want it. I would rather fucking wash my chicken than deal with that. I will say we also saw what happened to the Butterball turkeys. What happened? Remember they were...

Fucked? Yeah. Who fucked them? We covered that on a segment. I remember, but who was fucking them? Like the workers. But it was like while they were alive though, right? Yeah, I mean, I don't want someone's juices

all over my juices. Yeah, no, and you never know what it is, dude. Like it's just too much. It's too much. I don't like it either. So if I can wash your chicken, you dirty fucks. The most known secret with celebs and influencers, so many have had lipo, whether it's small touch-ups or total makeovers.

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depends on submission of payment file. Late payment may negatively impact your credit score. Results may vary. Go to chime.com slash disclosures for details. All right, next one. Next one. When we were 14, my best friend and I used to work at Tim Horton's drive-through, Prince Edward Island in Canada. I was about to say that's a Canadian thing. And we used to make a special pot of coffee every shift for the biggest perverts and pricks that used to repeatedly come to the drive-through and try to pick us up. So we would all take turns spitting in it and we would let it sit for the whole shift

so it would be so strong you could walk on it. And sometimes we'd leave dead flies in the bottom of their cups. And we also would give the diabetic guy sugar. Oh my God. That's attempted murder. Yeah, that's a crime. This was back in the day when we were not allowed

to accept tips and there used to be a man that came through and thought he was Elvis and his wife was Elizabeth Taylor. Every single time he'd buy one or two coffees and pay with a $50 bill or a $100 bill and tell us to keep the change. Luckily for us, our managers like to be out back smoking all the time and would leave us alone and we'd pocket that cash and make enough in tips from that one guy to pay for our booze for the whole weekend. And then we used to also make an alcoholic who was a regular customer go to the liquor store for us and meet us at our cars after work. We didn't realize he was an alcoholic.

He used to keep an empty, LeBats blue 24 case cardboard box in his front seat right next to him. We're from a town with one set of stoplights that was just installed that one year and one restaurant and one drive-through. It was very rural and everyone was from the country and everybody drank and drove back in those days. So we figured he was always just having a beer with us but later we realized that that was where he kept his eight tracks. We just thought he always had a buzz on all the time. We went on to work at other establishments in our lifetime and of course we would have the same regular customers at those spots as well. A few folks repeatedly were victims of

our intentional lifelong revenge. Once in a while the law was not always on our side when we would be partying so the police officers got some special treatment as well with their meals from time to time. This woman is spilling the tea. The moral of the story is don't fuck with people who handle your food. If you don't mind, it's probably best you keep my name confidential, please ladies, if you use this.

Of course we would never sell you out, but holy shit lady. That thing was like, there was attempted murder in there. There was fucking. You confessed a lot. That was a lot. Tampering with cops, attempted murder. Yeah. This was crazy. Yeah. An alcoholic. Yeah. How did he fit in the scheme of things? I don't know. Oh, they were 14 and he was buying that alcohol. Another illegal. All right. Yeah. Okay.

You just admitted to a lot of crimes, baby. Luckily we are well on the streets. So we're not going to fucking tell you, you know, we're not snitches, but that was a lot to take in. I, the diabetic, giving the diabetic sugar. That breaks my heart. That hurts my heart because that's fucking scary. You know, like I get it, I get it. Unless he was doing something really malicious to them. I mean, but is it worth trying to kill somebody?

You know, OK, well, I don't think it's worth trying to kill somebody. I think if somebody's being mean to you, of course, to spit in their burger, put a fly on their fucking coffee, whatever, I guess, if that's the type of shit you want to do. But. Don't fucking try to kill the diabetic man. It's like the have you guys seen we got a lot of these also is like when people are rude in like the Starbucks drive through,

they give people decaf instead of regular. I'm like, I never would have thought to do that. Like these people have to like be sitting there scheming to, I don't know, I guess you're, I never worked in fast food. So this was like all very eyeopening to me of like how much control these people have. Oh yeah, no, it's wild.

I've worked in fast food. I had my first job was at Fatburger and I never fucked with anybody's food. I can honestly say I never ever ever fucked with anybody's food. And then I worked in like a couple of ice cream shops and but I would never fuck with people's food. I was too scared.

I just didn't want to. My dad was a chef and he always said, just never send your food back. Yeah. Is the only thing he always told us. And I don't think I've almost ever sent food back. I think I've sent like a steak back to be cooked a little bit longer.

Yeah. It was like still fucking mooing, but I don't send anything. Instead of it's bleeding out on my plate, I'll send it back. I don't send any food back and I always will order something new. Like I'll be like, no, bring me, I'll keep this here, bring me another plate of something. Exactly. I don't send any food back and I always will order something new. Like I'll be like, no, bring me this here. Bring me exactly.

I don't send stuff back. Yeah, typically this girl worked at a steakhouse that gave fresh rolls with butter that people just loved the guys in the back used to rub the rolls on their balls before they took them out to customers just for no fucking reason. Eat free bread people. I for no fucking reason. You never eat free bread people. I just ruined my day. If someone rubs my Texas Roadhouse rolls on their balls, I would be so mad. Just one pub just sitting on the buttery roll. Just one little gleaming pub.

Let's just end it like a spotlight when they sit it on your table. I just talked about how much I loved bread at lunch the other day. You asked for bread fucking, you asked for bread everywhere we go. That's my favorite thing. And now I can never. I don't understand why they're fucking rubbing their balls

on people's fucking bread though. Like everybody needs bread. Thank you. Like, no, it's like bread though. Like everybody needs bread. Thank you. Like, no, it's like that's rude because nobody even pissed them off. It's just fucking people going to enjoy dinner. Yeah, why are you gonna put your fucking balls on my bread? Nobody wants your fucking hairy nads on our bread, bro.

Ew. All right, I'm fucking thoroughly disgusted. I'm never eating out anywhere ever again. I worked at Hardee's in high school when I dropped out at 16 and was a heroin addict because the owner was my dealer and he also owned a strip club. They would legit shoot up right next to the food.

Some tweakers would scratch their face over the food. No one but me wore gloves, was just a fucking cesspool for junkies and so many older people ate there every morning like a morning ritual. After about a week I quit because that was so overwhelming for me with OCD and it made my heart break for all the people that ate there. A few months later I went to the strip club he owned and after about an hour I realized there was no one ever on the polls. It was a strip club but it was just prostitutes

that were full blown tweakers and one was his own daughter. Never talked to my dealer again and after that, because what in the actual fuck is going on with that dude? What? That's crazy. You're just scratching your scabs over the food? Bro, I will fucking beat the living daylights out of somebody if I ever saw that happening.

You know, this also makes me question the people who witnessed this happening and didn't do anything. And don't, that's what I was just about to say. This would make me beat the daylights out of somebody, especially if it was somebody who witnessed it and just let it happen. I feel like you're just as bad. Like you're condoning that kind of behavior and witnessing these people consume this food.

Those little old people don't know any better. Like, you know, like the little old men who all- What if they got like a fucking chunk of heroin or something in their food, you know, or like- Or like, what if them, one of them has like- A disease. A disease, an STD or something, like then that bloodstream and the, oh, how sad. You could take that person out.

Yeah, bro. Like you guys, please, if you're listening to this and you ever have the urge to fuck with somebody's food, don't, don't do it. Like, I get that there are people are assholes and I get that fucking, you know, you want to get back at them for making you feel less than, but honestly you're stooping to their level

when you do shit like this. Stop them if you see it. Yeah, stop people when you see it. Don't treat people like that. Even people who are fucking rude to you, be nice to them, smile at them. They might need that fucking smile. They're probably being mad and mean to you

because they got their own shit going on. Yeah, which doesn't give them an excuse, but still it's like, you know, fucking two wrongs don't make a right. Yeah. All right, and that's our Ted Talk. Don wrongs don't make it right. Yeah. All right. And that's our Ted talk. Don't put your balls on my bread.

Yeah. So upset about this. Mimi's still mad about the Bollie bread. So mad. Oh God. I'm never eating out again. I love you guys. We're about to go on a two week run.

I'm not, I got meal preps. She does. She's got an entire box of meal preps. I've got meal preps for everybody. If you guys want some. All right guys, we'll continue this next week. Love ya. Bye.