Dumb Blonde - Ask, Tell, Confess: We All Fake Orgasms

Episode Date: June 27, 2025

The gals pick each other’s theme songs before diving into Ask, Tell, Confess: one listener’s mom married her uncle, and another wonders why she can’t orgasm, and if faking it really will lead to making it. Plus, Bunnie spills on a wild party night with Fall Out Boy, including a hotel room slip-n-slide and a tabloid-worthy moment with emo heartthrob Pete Wentz.Watch Full Episodes & More:www.dumbblondeunrated.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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I want to know why in the hell are you not on Patreon? I don't think you guys even realize how much content we have on Patreon. Let me break it down for you. We have the BunnyXO show, we have Meet the defaults. We have propaganda. We have more shows that we're adding. And not to mention we have the visuals of the podcast. Head over to www.patreon.com backslash dumb blonde podcast and sign up. Ask tell confetti. I can feel it. Ask, tell, confess.

Ask, tell, confess. Ask, tell, confess. Hello friends. Welcome back to Ask, Tale, Confirm. I feel like you just whispered sweet nothings to me. Oh, there she goes. Why are you talking during my intro? I thought you were done. I couldn't hear it.

It's so quiet. We didn't know. I thought she was done and then all of a sudden I see. It just keeps going. Have you ever seen those singers when they're like- Yeah, that's exactly what that was. You know? Imagine if you did that the whole podcast.

Oh, I do. She does. I'm always fucking with my microphone. I'm in the background going, lower your mic because she's like this. She's like, okay, so how would you? Hey, Kate. And then she'll text us later,

why is the mic in front of my face? I'm like, cause you put it there. It's like a habit. You just like, you know, I need something to touch. Sometimes I get, I don't know. What do I do with it? She's like Ricky Bobby. Yeah.

You need to get her like a tit to hold on to. Like those squishy little tits. Have you seen like the little rings that fit? I usually hold on to Chach. If I'm holding on to Chach, I'm good. But it's not a... Did you fluff? Cause he looks mad at you.

Well, he farted and it smells like beef stew over here right now. So. She goes, I'm going on to Josh. I'm good. But if he's not enough. Did you fluff? Cause he looks mad at you. Well, he farted and it smells like beef stew over here right now. So. She did. And he left you with it. That's crazy. All right. Who's ready to kick it off?

Cause I'm ready to go home. I got a couple. I have a question. I got hiccups. Okay. Nikki wants to know if you guys assigned one another theme songs, what would they be? That was one of my questions, you bitch.

If we assigned each other ourselves. Each other theme songs. Oh god, this is hard. I'm so bad with shit like that. I don't know, I feel like bunnies would be the bare necessities. Look for the bare necessities, the simple bare necessities. Look for the bare necessities. The simple bare necessities. Don't forget about your worries and your strife.

The line. I mean the bare necessities. I wasn't done. Why were you talking during that? Didn't know where you kept going. I was gonna say the lion in Wizard of Oz. Okay, if it was Disney themed, then you would be, who's the lady on the tea kettle

on the fucking Beauty and the Beast? What? Mrs. Potts. You're Mrs. Potts. You're fat shaming me right now. You fat shamed my dog last episode. And no, I'm not. And no, I'm not. Wait, Chip is cash.

Literally, Chip is totally cash, dude. But you have her presence. Oh, that was so good. It's like very like motherly. I'm very motherly. And loving and like, yeah. Not the size of a fucking tea kettle. I didn't shape like one.

And let's see, Hayley. Oh, God. If it's Disney themed. I like the Disney theme. Oh, the Disney theme. You're fucking Ursula from, what is it? Fuck, no. What is the song that, I'm leaving.

What is the song that, no, I'd rather be a fucking tea kettle. What is the song that she sings? What is the song that she sings? Poor unfortunate souls. I feel like that's more me. No. Oh my gosh, I was thinking something ditzy for her and you went straight Ursula.

What would you say for her? That's crazy. For her, gosh, if we're going Disney themed. I don't know how we got on Disney theme, but here we are. Yeah, no, I just went straight bare necessities. I was going like the lion from Wizard of Oz for you. Yeah, I was gonna go like life is a highway. I was gonna go like,

I could do it. I feel like she's so life is a highway because it's just like nothing matters. Rascal Flats life is a highway? Yeah, the rock version. No, R's just like nothing matters. Rascal Flats life as a highway or the rock version? Yeah, no Rascal Flats all day. We were in Vegas and we were like driving towards the mountain. She's like, someone turn on the entire album cars right now. Oh my God, that's Jay's favorite.

He loves that. It's not what I would have expected. Yeah. We bring on Daddy Gary next season, guys. We love Daddy Gary. Let's get fucking Daddy chatty. I Want Daddy chatty? Oh the other day sobbing the entire pod. I feel like The whole pod test is just gonna be that yeah, we're all just gonna be like Listen he gets hotter the older he gets, man.

Cause he was not hot back in the day. And now he's like so hot. Maybe we've just matured cause he looks the exact same. If you were to put long hair on him. I feel like he got a little bit more swag. I don't know. I feel like I failed as a mother, guys.

You look like a fucking hobo hippie back in the day. I like that. I feel like I failed as a mother because the other day, Olivia was sitting right next to Chad Groger and did not care at all. He was sitting next to Chad? Yes, at the Post Malone concert.

It's literally daddy chatty Olivia. And I was like, Olivia, do you know who that is? And she was like, nope. I said, that's Chad Kroger. She's got her iPad. She goes, okay. That's literally me. That's me when I don't know somebody you guys know.

I failed as a parent, got it. All right. You gotta do better. I will't know somebody you guys know. I failed as a parent, got it. All right. You gotta do better. I will say guys, Olivia is obsessed. And when I say knows the entire album right now, I write Sins Not Tragedies. Aw, Panic at the Disco baby. She's starting.

Panic at the Disco and. Get her, it's nine in the afternoon. That one. Yes, nine in the afternoon. And one. Yes. Nine in the afternoon. And then Fallout Boy obsessed. Oh, I love them. You should hear Cash sing Fallout Boy is the cutest thing because he doesn't know any of the words.

He just gets like little moments of words and he's like. They're the nicest guys too. I've partied with them. Oh really? Yeah, I have partied with them. There was a baby oil slip and slide in the hotel room. It was fun.

It was fun. It was the night I actually met Holly Madison and she was there with Criss Angel and we were all there partying in their hotel room. They were on stage. Wait, I feel like I've heard this story. Was there a big shower involved? Yes, they were on stage and I was there

with I think my boyfriend at the time and a couple of other girlfriends. And they pointed to me on stage and were like, we want them to come in the back. And as we were leaving, somebody ran up and was like, hey, Fall Out Boy wants you to come up to their suite. And I was like, okay, cool. So we went up there and it was fun.

She's what everyone assumes is gonna happen to them at a concert. You know, the little girls are in there. Every concert I go to. Yeah, all the little girls in the like, are all ready and in the crowd. Yeah, when I went to see Jonas Brothers. You're like, he's staring at me.

Yeah, that's what actually happens. Pete Wentz was for real making eye contact with me the entire fucking concert. It was- Living in people's dreams, it's cool. I get it. I mean, this was fucking back in the fucking day. Then she's like, then we went and had naked slipping slides

in our suite. I actually have a newspaper clipping from, not newspaper, a magazine like Us Weekly or some magazine. There's me and Pete Wentz on top of a pool table, like dancing. You want to see this? I will, I'll show it to you guys. I'll send you guys a picture of it.

That's great, I need it. That's crazy. It was a huge thing because this was when MySpace was big. They thought that he was cheating on Ashley Simpson with me. And I felt so bad that I like DM'd Ashley Simpson. And I was like, he was a complete gentleman. Like there was nothing going on. Like I was just on a pool table.

Yeah, we were literally just happened to take that fucking picture. Cause I said like Pete Wentz, fallout boy parties with blonde or something like that. Like, yeah. And I was like, and I wrote her, I was like, I promise you it was nothing like that. Cause I felt so bad.

She never responded, but yeah, that was, you're like, I felt really bad. I have some lore, you guys. Got a little bit of lore. I love it. All right. Who's kicking this off? Okay. Uncle daddy and other family plot twists. Uncle daddy. Uncle daddy. Have we called anybody uncle daddy? So when I was 18, my dad decided to come out to me.

So dad's gay, right? A few years after my dad came out to me, I find out that my mom had been sleeping with my uncle, not blood uncle, no relation. It was, so let me- Best friend, dad's best friend. Dad's brother-in-law. So her dad's brother-in-law, the mom was sleeping with.

So. I don't understand that. Her dad's brother-in-law. So he has sister. Her ex's brother-in-law, basically. No, there's no ex. Right? She was cheating.

Oh, she's still, okay. Her husband's brother-in-law. Mom. This is intertwined. It's like the second cousin removed. It would be you and Scott. Your brother, your brother-in-law, basically. Okay, so he had a sister. Dad had a mom. It's like this. You would Scott. It's like a cousin removed. It would be you and Scott. Your brother. Your brother. Okay. So he had a sister. Dad had a sister. Yes. Okay. That's what I said. So brother-in-law. Mom is having an affair with brother-in-law. So uncle, her

uncle. Long story short, my mom ended up marrying him. So now mom is married to the. Okay. Yep. So now their cousins are cousin siblings because they had kids. I hate it here. Long story short, we jokingly now call him uncle daddy. My cousins are basically my step siblings. Ten out of ten family drama. OK. Yeah, that was the most confusing fucking story I've ever heard.

Yeah. Now she has cousin siblings. I'm still perplexed. This is... most confusing fucking story I've ever heard. Yeah, now she has cousins, siblings. I'm still perplexed. This is... I love that. She told us this story the other night at the house and she goes, can I submit that? I said, fucking please do. She goes, I don't think I have childhood trauma.

I said, yeah, you do. We just read it. Yeah, you do. I said, you don't have childhood trauma? Yeah, you do, sister. You have sibling cousins and an uncle daddy. What are you fucking talking about while your dad came out as gay?

Yeah, uncle daddy is crazy. I love that dad came out and was like, hey, this is what it is. Yeah, I kind of wanted to lean into more of that. How did that happen? Well, she also did mention that like dad would be gone every weekend for work. And that's when mom was sneaking around with daddy uncle.

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and more at skims.com. After you place your order, be sure to let them know I sent you select podcast in the survey and be sure to select my show Dumb Blonde in the drop down menu that follows. All right, so Shannon has an ask, why is it so hard for me to orgasm? The man is not the problem.

He does everything right and I have gotten so close than nothing. I feel like she hasn't learned her body. Well, a lot of women- I'm the man. I'm gonna, listen, I'm going to just put it out there. Not a lot of women orgasm with men. It's very hard.

You have to have clitoral stimulation. A lot of the time you have to be on top and like rubbing your clit at the same time as you're getting penetration or else you're not going to orgasm. You can use a toy while he's banging you. Like if you're doggy style, use a toy that'll make you orgasm.

But sometimes when it gets up to that point of orgasm, you feel a little bit uncomfortable. Like it almost feels like you might pee sometimes. You have to be able to get past that point to get to the whole full like pleasure zone. Yeah. So don't feel bad because your husband's not making you orgasm. There's a lot of women who do not orgasm with men. And the first orgasm I ever had was with a vibrator. Wasn't with a man. Yeah. I feel like she needs to learn her body though, because like something, there's something more there.

And if she says she's close, she's not passing over the rainbow. Like you gotta keep going. Yeah. And I don't think it's about learning her body. I think it's just learning different positions to where you can stimulate that. Because we can also orgasm from the inside,

but that's even harder. And like guys have to do that with a finger unless they do have like a captain hook and can reach that spot. But yeah, that's even harder. And like guys have to do that with a finger unless they do have like a captain hook and can reach that spot. But yeah, it's pretty normal. Next season we get a sex expert on here and we have them teach us all the tricks. I'm totally down.

Yeah. Let's do it. I know. Yeah, but don't feel bad girl. You're not the only one. Everybody's like that. Yeah. Haley, have you ever orgasmed with a man?

Have you told a man that you did? Oh, I've told plenty. I've told plenty. I am the best. So they leave. I'm over it. I am the best at faking orgasms. I will make a man feel 10 feet tall. Yeah. Yeah. How do you feel about that? I'm rethinking some experiences. I'm rethinking some experiences now. Is that right? Yeah. Of course I may.

You're like, mm. I would be willing to say 90% of women orgasming with their significant other are fake. Oh. Yes. I could probably count on one hand with a guy. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. My husband has made me orgasm, but there's other men that I've been with that I've never had an orgasm with. I've had to use like toys to make it happen. So. Yeah, once they leave. No, well, or while you're with them.

No, I'm over them. She's like, all right, let me call you the Uber. Isn't that maybe you don't wanna feel that vulnerable with them? Cause the orgasm, listen, you get to know somebody when you see their O face. Have you, like, you could fucking think a dude is so fine and you fucking see their orgasm face and they're like,

eh, like one of those goats, you know? I get it down so fast. I can't. I know, but imagine what some of our orgasm faces look like. Like when you're really in there. Yeah, I can imagine what my face looks like. What does yours look like? It's called the vinegar stroke.

Have you heard of it? No. So it's, pretend you have a spoon of vinegar and then hold it up under your nose. That's what your face is. No, my orgasm face is way hotter. I've practiced it. Yeah, I don't think I looked like that.

She said, practice in the mirror. I've practiced it. I watch. I've been on film many a times. I know what my orgasm face looks like. That's so funny. We need to test this theory. I wonder, have you ever had a girl who had a crazy orgasm face?

No. Have you guys ever been with a dude? Have you been with a lot of girls? I mean, I've been with a few. Yeah, I'm not lying. Did they fake it? I had a dude that been a few. Yeah, I'm not like, you know, I'm not like it. I had a dude that when he would orgasm, he would flex. God, that was for him.

He would flex. It was just like, like, during. Yeah, like while he was pumping away. What did you do? I took it like a champ. That's what I did. I can't. I know.

This side is rather be alone. I just don't like men. I don't like men. Hailey said, I don't like men. I don't like them. One day you're going to, Hailey is going to find someone one day and it's going to be happily ever after. I love being like living alone. God, if I had someone else there all the time.

I know, but in my space, here's the thing, my husband drives me up a wall. I love him to death. He's my best friend. I couldn't imagine not living with him. You know, like, I don't know, when you find somebody that you're just comfortable with, you want them. It's such a good idea. Even when I was younger, I've never like, I don't like being touched. I don't like any of that. I mean, I don't like being touched either. And then I have someone who literally learned everything about me and knows when to touch me and when not to touch me. Yeah, literally,

Jason will know he'll be like, he'll, I love my husband, because he will approach me evaluating how I am. And then it'll just either be a kiss on the forehead or a hug, because it's like, I can clearly tell you don't want me to come near you. And I'm like, and then he's like, okay, kiss on the forehead it is.

And then it takes off. Or if I'm like, I need it, then he knows. People will literally learn you better than you know yourself. And you deserve that. You deserve to have like a yin to your yang. You want it. I don't know.

I know how clingy it can be. I can't wait till this happens. It's gonna happen. Literally, I know. It's just like me, I used to be like, kids, ew. And now I hear a fucking baby crying in fucking a store that I'm shopping in. And I'm like, oh, like,

and I've never thought I would be like that ever. I promise you change. You were not the same person you were when we met you. So I know for a fact that you're just time isn't here yet. Yeah. When you need the- I still have been the same, not one relationship that's been since you guys-

You are a stage 10 clinger with me when we are anywhere. That's you. I know, but like, imagine feeling that with someone else. No, I wouldn't with you. No, you were a little bit of a lover when we first got together. I was a hoe. Right, well.

Not a lover, a hoe. Yeah. Well, I didn't want to say that, you know. You can say it, you already called me Ursula. But no, shut up. I was thinking like how she wears the makeup and just like big and fancy, but anyways. Big.

Shut up, you big personality. Big personality, okay? I don't know, your time will come. It will, it's coming. I'm gonna be like 80 calling you guys like, hey guys, I found a man. Well, when you're 80, I'll be dead. So hurry it up.

I need to fucking. I think you'll be. Yeah, no, are you kidding me? She's barely gonna start showing like she's like 50 or something at 100. I'm gonna be tacked up like Dolly, baby. Don't even play. She's giving me a high. You're so tight, old lady.

Hot. Can't wait. Yeah, you pull off in like, you right now, dead ass, could pull off our age. Oh, for sure. Yes. Not when I don't have makeup on, maybe when I have makeup on.

I feel like you're youthful without makeup. Yeah. So, so youthful without makeup. I can see the reflection of my face in your forehead. Yeah. You come out and I'm like, it's literally shining. It hurts my eyes sometimes. Are you kidding? All right, guys. We'll see you next week. Bye.