Dumb Blonde - Ask, Tell, Confess: We Listen and We Don't Judge

Episode Date: December 20, 2024

Gerbils, nurses, and a handyman—it’s all in this week’s Ask, Tell, Confess. The gals discuss bizarre things people get stuck inside themselves, a listener’s shocking affair, and Bunnie’s take on couples at the strip club.Watch Full Episodes & More:www.dumbblondeunrated.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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a question. I want to know why in the hell are you not on Patreon? I don't think you guys even realize how much content we have on Patreon. Let me it down for you we have the bunny xo show we have meet the d forts we have propaganda we have more shows that we're adding and not to mention we have the visuals of the podcast head over to www.patreon.com backslash dumb blonde podcast and sign up. Ask, tell, confess. Ask, tell, confess. Ask, tell, confess. Ask, tell, confess. Are you farting on mommy's face?

Okay, go ahead. Get down. Get down. On? I'm not. I don't like get down you guys i'm never hanging with him ever again i can't believe you said that to page i ruined it i think he was joking to page what did page say like did she just be like yeah or like it was okay so it was when we were at my party and i was giving everyone a house What did Paige say? Like, did she just be like, yeah? Or like, how do you? Okay, so it was when we were at my party, and I was giving everyone a house tour,

and everyone was in my room. And Ryan was on one corner of the bed. **** was on the other. They were both like straddling the corners of my bed. **** fucking leans all the way down and like sniffs my bed. And he comes back up, and Paige is like, did you just sniff her bed? He's like, that's private.

And he, I think he was joking about it. That's his humor. Yeah. Yes. That's funny. Yes. I don't think he was being serious. Are we already recording?

Oh, good. Okay. Good, good, good. Awesome. Good, good, good. Please don't. Haley needs dick. Haley does need dick. No, I don't. You need Haley needs dick Haley does need dick No, I don't

You need a man You don't even need dick You need a man Wait, somebody needs to do the right introduction Go ahead Okay, ready? Let's do it Okay

Are we holding hands? Yes Why do you gotta hold hands for? I don't know How do you stop? It's weird Hello, everyone Welcome to another episode of

Ask, Tell, Confess just hello everyone welcome to another episode of ask tell confess y'all were lacking in the department i can't do it i got beaver teeth i can do that but that's not the same. I can't do that because I have too much lip filler. How do you do that? Say, honey. It's like the guy from... Say.

Family Guy. Yeah. Would you like some popsicles? Would you like yeah popsicles that was my favorite dude when i first saw him i was like okay you little weirdo i can do this voice too that is me yep so anyways back to hayley needing dick yeah you know she got the again because this dude fucking likes farts yeah he told some girl that he likes to jack off to farts hayley what is it with you you had a guy that jacked off to family guy

you like a guy that jacks off to farts you had a guy that fucking left a skid mark nutella butt it's like is it me but is it me am i the drama you need a man and you need a man not just for dick you need like a man that will come put your baseboards on because i haven't found one i don't know i'm i'm right there with you with like wondering where they're at because this generation of men is they're not easy yeah they are i can do more handiwork than them yeah you know for sure like me and jason just had a conversation the other day about how I can't believe how many men don't have like tools oh yeah I I guess like I grew up with like such a handyman dad my dad could do anything he was like superman and then like I married a man

who could literally do anything I I literally bought a chicken coop the other day and I was like build it yeah I like thought to myself later what if i had someone who couldn't build that bro i've only dated men who can't build that i have only dated men who do not i need a blue collar man they don't know how to change a tie every man i've ever dated does not know how to change a tire does not know how to fucking do it they I think I'm going to start hanging out at the blue collar bars. We need you a man. You need a man. Not just a man. A man. A man. Little manwich.

That's what you need. Someone who has like tools in a truck. Little sloppy joe booty. Okay. No. We're getting away from that. We really ripped it there, didn't you? I had to. I had to, I had to overcook it. My husband says I overcook everything.

So yeah, Haley, I think it's time for you to just find a man. Anyways, who's going to start this off? Enough harping on Haley. I call dibs. Okay. You know, it's buttholes or poop or hairy buttholes or something. I actually have a butthole one too. If it's the waxing one, I'm going to kill you. This is actually even worse.

Okay. This one, and I'm not going to judge here because I was not there. I don't know your situation, but I am going to share your story since you confessed it. Really quick, does anybody want to go to Justin Timberlake tonight? We have like really good tickets. Like a VIP experience? Yeah.

You? Want to take Liv? She doesn't know who Justin Timberlake is. Do you want to go with me? She doesn't want to go. I can read it on her face. I'll go. Wait, will you go to Justin Timberlake with me? I'll go to Justin Timberlake with you.

Okay. Stop. Okay. Are we meeting him? Yes. Yeah, we'll go. Hold on. I got to wash my hair.

All right. Text Ron. And then, okay, go ahead with your story. Draw me a river. Jaime, do you want to go? You are my son probably not you didn't know all the ways

I loved you yeah took a chance you made other plans don't get me started on dozen timberlake this is the most unhinged fucking ass to all confess sorry guys we got a show to do here guys sorry all right again not judging you. I'm just going to read yours. We listen and we don't judge. We listen and we don't judge. When was the last time you needed to go to a doctor,

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her side. I was going through a divorce and i began having an affair with my patient's husband no it just kind of happened i am still with him today but we have never told his family about me the kids live far away and not very close with other family members but still she has now been gone for six years and i am tired of keeping this a secret we did what we did i do feel guilty but i also feel like we were both hurting and found comfort in one another and this is why we are still together today i love him more than i can even explain my kids refer to him as their dad they don't know how long we've been together we only became public to them and my

family a year after she passed we don't have to tell anyone when or how our relationship started but i am tired of keeping it a secret it is what it is and if he was that embarrassed me i think we would have just ended things thoughts well one thank you for trusting us with that confession that was honestly a beautiful way that you put it at first I was kind of like and then I thought about it and I was like well she was in a vegetative state for years already so that means that she was like just they were pretty much essentially waiting for her to pass away yes and that's a stressful situation. And, you know, like, I get it, you know, till death do us part. But at the same time, it's like, you're going through a divorce.

He's dealing with something tragic. So, of course, that brought you guys together. But the fact that you guys are still together speaks volumes. So maybe it was those two tragic incidences that needed to bring you guys together. And the wife could have also like made it happen yeah like that almost happened in a way that like had the wife not been in that vegetation state you would have never been there and met him so like everything happens for a reason it does yeah it does we could only hope that she approved of the situation or she would have approved of the

situation. But yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. We don't. Yeah. Thank you for trusting us.

And I don't have an opinion on it at all. I think that love is love. And sometimes you can't help who you fall in love with. And if you're more comfortable keeping it a secret, then no one needs to know. I just want to know how their fucking family isn't nosy. Because if I was a kid, I'd been like, so when did you guys guys start talking and if they didn't give me a real answer i would be like no i don't believe this you're like i knew i yeah like i don't believe this at all but i love that they're still together and they've been together for fucking six years and your kids have dad now

and you're right maybe the wife brought energetically brought this woman into her husband's life to soften the blow of her dying. Yeah. Someone that could care, you know, for him. Maybe she was like a soul caring person. Did they hump in the same room as the wife? Probably not. Okay.

No. No. As long as it's respectful. Yeah. As long as it's respectful. I didn't uh kind of referring back to like the manly man stuff and like this caretaking thing I befriended the old man behind us I know and he told me like the saddest thing I literally teared up as he told me he goes

you know my whole life I've just provided like working was my thing and my wife did laundry cooked everything like that well she got dementia later on in her years and he goes I didn't know how to do anything he goes I don't know how to cook he goes you don't have don't realize you don't know how to do these things until you're presented with the fact that she can no longer do them so he's like i would just stare at the washing machine being like how do i even work this thing or he goes i still don't know how to cook he goes i can work a mean microwave so we made him dinner and took it to him the other day but it you know that i know i want some of that freaking casserole yeah it was great the spaghetti bake oh my god it is my favorite yeah but i mean that wife could have always cared for him and knew that he needed

someone to care for him again and she was a nurse and yeah we love it we love love it's the most wonderful time of the year holidays on the house the house at DraftKings Casino. With the season's offerings, you'll unwrap everything that you wished for, from table games and jackpots to a slot at the top of everyone's list. Jingle bells power reels. DraftKings is offering a warm welcome to new players with $100 instantly in casino credits with just a $10 wager. Plus, everyone can get in on the action with a holiday reward every week. So sign up with code BUNNY, B-U-N-N-I-E, because the holiday cheer is here.

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and was like like literally an hour after and was like that was so good thank you so much and like yeah so i'm telling you guys laundry next time put some thc in it let him get real loose wow okay he gave us a tour of his home guys and we literally got to look at his great-great-great-grandfather's daily journal from 1820. That's amazing. I love that. I got one. It's also about a nurse. This is from a guy

in the DMs. He said, My wife is a nurse. Sometimes she comes home with that thousand- yard stare so I know she had a rough shift. I asked how she was and she told me they removed

a small toolbox from a guy's butt that day. I said I understand and I made her a screwdriver. Double. We didn't talk about it any further. I didn't understand that a small remove a small toolbox from a guy's butt okay a toolbox yes past hobby of mine was to look up x-rays of people oh i And having things stuck in their butts. You would be surprised. I've seen light bulbs. I saw a squirrel.

What? A live one? I don't know if they're live, but I have literally seen multiple like gerbils and squirrels. So there was a rumor a long time ago about Richard Gere and that he had a gerbil stuck up his ass that was in a condom. And they say that, I don't know if this is true or not, but they say that some men will take gerbils and put them up their butt because they try to claw their way out of the condom. So it like gives that action. Yeah. I saw a lot of x-rays with those. Yeah.

I don't know if that's true though. If anybody can confirm that that's true, let me know. Richard Greer as in pretty woman? Yeah. I hope not. He's never been married right what has richard gear ever been married i'm giving it a gook what the give it a good pull it up pull it up hi me what the what the that's disgusting just on google just give it a game yeah pull it up just because i don know, if he's never been married, maybe he just keeps his...

He likes gerbils in his butt. I don't know. I don't know if it's true, though. And I never want to spread a rumor like that about somebody, but I know that was a huge rumor. No, let's look up if he's ever been married. Richard Gere, animal in ass. No, Richard Gere, if he's ever been married.

Oh, sorry. Did Richard Gere shove a gerbil ass. No, Richard Gere if he's ever been married. Oh, sorry. Did Richard Gere shove a gerbil up his butt? I told you. Richard Gere and the gerbil. I told you. Removed from his rectum. I told you. It's a real thing.

Yeah. Three of them. Oh, he's been married three times? He married Cindy Crawford. What? 91 to 95. That's a short marriage. I never knew they were married still married right now yeah yeah damn he got to bang cindy crawford go fucking richard wow okay let's go back to the

gerbil because there were there were articles articles on it yeah no it's uh it's been a thing. Yep. Oh, wow. Oh. Look at him. Look at him. The little gerbil. Look at him. False. Oh, this is false.

Damn. I mean. Damn it. How are we sure? How do we know it's false? He could have paid to say false. People put weird stuff in there. I knew someone who got a perfume bottle stuck in her vagina. She was trying to finish and it was the first thing next to her because her husband didn't finish.

What was it? I knew someone that got a perfume bottle stuck inside of her because she like it was what about that feels good she said it was the first thing she grabbed next to her to try to finish yeah but what about that feels good no i don't get and how do you finish lost how do you finish like this you finish on your clit you don't finish on the inside. Yes, you can have an orgasm from the inside, but yeah, you can. It is really good too. When you orgasm from the inside, you'll fucking squirt everywhere. It's crazy.

But the majority of the time, women can only orgasm from the clit, you know? I don't know. That's crazy to me that she would stick a perfume bottle if they're nothing glass feels good it probably wasn't i feel like it would burn she gives me the very like you know bath and body works perfume type how would you shut that wouldn't fit in my hole of this mic yeah i know really that's about a perfume bottle that's crazy yeah i wouldn't put that in there i still don't know how that you got's crazy. Yeah. I wouldn't put that in there. I still don't know how they got a fucking toolbox up there. I wouldn't put that in there. That's crazy.

Absolutely not. Smash your past. Funny, Rebecca's asking, my question is, when you were stripping, did couples come to see you? We just started going to strip clubs together as a couple. So far, we have sat quiet in the corner but very curious about private dances and if other couples have done or doing these things together absolutely my favorite thing when i was a working girl and not just a stripper was hey clankety clank come here is he gonna try to go under get up here come on i'm not picking you up dude his feet dangling the fucking drama what is happening with this dog today

jason cut that out please anyways oh i wish you could leave it in it's so dramatic i mean we can please just do the awkward silence of all of us watching i'm sorry this is the most unhinged ass i'll confess but anyways yes so we strippers and working girls love when women are involved if they're not jealous i have had a couple of girls who are really jealous and made it uncomfortable why would you be there if you're that jealous a lot of girls do it to make their men happy and just think that they could handle it and then when they see it they just fucking see red but there's a lot of women who are so cool i used to have a really big sugar daddy in vegas um he was a construction lawyer and he used to give me so much money and him it was for him and his wife and i would go see them at their house yeah and we would just

go to their house we were just well this is when i was like that yeah we would just party and it would be fun man we had a blast i love when women because you know women make it a lot more fun and easier to deal with men sometimes men are just men you know but when you have that feminine that that ally that feminine energy it's like she's like girl it's almost like you guys are teaming up literally that's exactly what it is and he has no say so I forgot the gerbil is still on the screen all right we're getting out of here I love you guys toodaloo bye