Dumb Blonde - Ask, Tell, Confess: Who Got Motorboated?

Episode Date: September 20, 2024

Ask, Tell, Confess baby! The gals talk about going viral for wearing diapers, overcoming stagefright, how tour hookups really go down and the one body part that will never go unsigned on tour. Watch Full Episodes & More:www.dumbblondeunrated.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey guys, I need to ask you a question. I want to know why in the hell are you not on Patreon? I don't think you guys even realize how much content we have on Patreon. Let me break it down for you. We have the BunnyXO show. We have Meet the D-Fords. We have Popaganda. We have more shows that we're adding.

And not to mention, we have the visuals of the podcast. Not only that, we have four tiers that caters to everybody's budget and everybody gets the podcast. There's that, we have four tiers that caters to everybody's budget and everybody gets the podcast. There's no more excuses. Head over to www.patreon.com backslash dumb blonde podcast and sign up. Stop missing out. We have built a huge community over there, guys. I'm talking about hundreds of thousands of people over there. We even have live chats, live chats that I actually am talking in every single night. Last but not least, we give away gifts every freaking month. I'm talking like signed stuff from Jay and I, lives. You just never know what kind of surprise you're going to get.

It's like a Cracker Jack box. I love the community that we've built over there at Patreon. If you are already a Patreon member, I freaking love you, dude. Thank you so much. You guys are my babies for life, my writers. If I could, I would literally make out with each and every one of you. I love you guys so much. And that's a lot of kisses, actually. Gotta go, bye.

Ask, tell, confess. Ask, tell, confess. Ask, tell, confess. I'm not okay, barely getting by barely getting by hello friends welcome back to another ask tail can fan dude somebody had me do that out of meet and greet that's the funniest thing it came up to me and they were like can you please just do the sound and i'm like which sound because we do so many she's like the ass tail can fail. I was like, yes, I'll do it. I'll do it right now. Oh, how are you guys doing?

We are on the road. We're actually reporting live from our tour bus right now. Hello. Haley's here with me. Hello. Mimi went home. Yeah, it's just us. It's just us.

Mimi went home because she likes her family more than us. Yeah, freaking rude. Thinking about firing her over that. That's ridiculous. Tasha went home too because she likes her family more than us Freaking rude Thinking about firing her over that That's ridiculous Tasha went home too because she's got fucking eight kids We're the lone rangers out here God okay Alright so this week

It looks like Mimi had you guys ask us tour questions So Why don't you go ahead and kick it off Okay So I was wondering if whoever has a booty call, how do y'all manage that? Y'all hang a towel in the mirror of the bus or if it's one of the band members or one of y'all's honorage, do they rent a hotel room or what? We just sit around and watch. Yeah.

I'm just totally kidding. No, we get as far away as possible. Yeah. So usually when we're parked, they have their own room. They have a room. Like, we'll have a, it's called a shower room or whatever. So if they don't want to stay on the bus, they can sleep in the hotel room. So, yeah, that's usually whenever you guys decide to have a booty call.

But there isn't a lot. Haley has no booty calls on the bus. And fucking the dude took his fucking shoes off and he had fucking stinky tinks. Literally, I've never smelled feet like that. It was so bad. And Haley is such a sweetheart. She was trying to like say it was her.

It probably was. I said, bitch, hold on. Chachi. God, I swear every time we try to record anything, he goes straight over to his bowl of food and just starts fucking hound-dogging, dude. I mean, come on, my little Turkish delight. Get up here. Come on. Anyways, yeah, so Haley was so sweet about it that she tried to blame it on her.

And I was like, Haley, don't ever fucking say you stink for a man ever but my feet stink not like that that was musty dude paul okay okay so yeah they usually use a shower room or get a room or something like that so There's not a whole lot, though. Yeah. Okay, give me yours. Okay, okay. I got one. Give me a confesh. Hold on. I was saving the confesh. Don't tell me how to run my show.

How about that? Okay. What perfume do you guys use? You all smelled so good when I met you in Orlando. You bitch, you took mine. You have to find a good one. I'm scared to tell people because I don't want it to sell out. Should we gatekeep?

Are we gatekeepers now? Oh, this one. We have to. Do you think? I feel bad gatekeeping from the girlies. I think there's enough. I think there's enough. We'll just buy a lot more.

We have a community one. All right. Tell them what it is. It is Kylie Cosmetics Cosmic. It smells so good. I would never buy some sort of perfume like that, but they wore it on the bus, and I was like, I was spending $1,000 a bottle on Tom Ford, and I was like, how much is that? And they were like, how much is it?

It's like $100 or less. $100 or less for this fucking shit, and it smells so good. It's like warm. Vanilla, sugar. A hint of flora. I don't know. You just want to eat it. Oh, my God.

You smell like a freaking cookie. It's so good. Yeah, it's so good. So you guys go out and get it. Kylie. Shout out to Kylie. I expect a kickdown from all the sales you're about to get or a pr package full pr package would be great kylie just a box full of spoon full of sugar helps the medicine

go down medicine go down medicine go down how did you know that you never watch that stuff that is so funny yeah so kylie uh i'll be expecting my PR package, please. Thank you very much. All right. Did you guys ever do the period simulator on the guys on tour? I'm dying to see this. Nope, not yet, but we are going to do it. We'll do it soon.

I just literally during the day, I don't have any freaking time. We're pretty busy. It's hard to wrangle up all the boys too to try to do this to them but we're going to get it done. I think it's going to be so funny watching them have cramps. Yeah. I can't wait. They're not going to be able to handle it. They're going to be babies. They're never

going to be able to handle it. They would cry. On level one. On level fucking .5. Seriously. I know how I feel whenever I have my fucking ovaries getting ripped out by a fork. So I can only imagine how that's what it feels like. It's like Chachi's munching on mine, bro. It's so bad.

Like, I literally do not even want to fucking talk to anybody when I'm on my period. Nope. And yeah, can we just talk about how the world knows that I wear diapers now? Diaper diva, bro. You should make your own line of diapers. Oh my God. Okay. Maybe in about 10 or 15 years. Sure. I'll do it. No problem. Okay. Do it now. Pink ones. Fuck me, dude. I am not doing money. XO diaper line. In case you guys have your head in the sand, every freaking headline last week about me had to do with me wearing diapers on my period. I think it's great. I did not think that that was going to be such a big deal.

I mean. My PR, Jen Vessio, was like, next time can you run that by me? I was like, Jen, I'm talking about period diapers. I'm like, how did I think that that was going to go? We didn't think that was going to blow up. At all. And then I'm talking to my husband and my husband's like,

I love the fact that any other time that you're in the news, it's always Bunny XO. He goes, but when you're wearing diapers, it's Jelly Roll's wife. I was like, bro.

I was, I don't know. I was just like, you know what? Nobody in the world's ever going to think I'm hot again. I mean, there's a niche for everything. I know.

Some guy out there is. Jay said my price just went up. He's like, price went up. Yeah, you could sell that. People want to. You could sell your diapers probably. Oh, my goodness gracious. I'm sure there's some creep out there.

Just vacuum seal that baby and ship it off. Yep. Yep. The Jajji fart. Oh, man. Crop dust. Crop duster. Old diaper Dan over here here billory the goat she's one of our main girls

on patreon i love her she's so sweet she said confess i asked jelly to sign my titties back in 2019 as he turned to grab the sharpie security guard rushed us away and i heard jelly say never let the titties leave unsigned as the door shut behind me. That is so fucking funny. And you know, literally that me and my husband have this thing where it's like, never let the titties leave unsigned. Anytime you guys want us to sign titties,

we're going to sign them. The other day we were driving and I was like, Oh my God, that girl had her whole ass hanging out. Cause it looked really good. And Jay was like, you're supposed to warn me ahead of time so I can see it too. It was so bad.

I was like, I was like, I just caught a glimpse of it out of the corner of my eye. No, we love titties. We love asses. We love all the women that show up for us. I think I signed my first pair of titties this tour. You got motorboated this tour. I did.

You did. I did. You loved it. Yeah. Yes, I did. She loved it. I loved it so much. She wants all of you guys to motorboater

at every meet and greet yes i do oh those big old fucking those big old luscious luxurious put your face in between yes as you can tell we get excited just talking about titties around here so i i love how like my my podcast is like so proper and healing and then you get to the ass tail confesses and it's like good lord sex boobs literally what is happening dude all right you're speaking of no what are we talking about ask it's okay okay how many toilets are on that bus some need five minutes to poop and some need 20 minutes of position zen and medication meditation and deep breathing to let that shit go so what do you do if all the toilets are taken and you gotta go

there's two on this there's two but i don't think we've had that problem we've never had that problem because it's not i always let people use my shower or my toilet, so I'm not like one of those people who's like, you can't use this. Yeah. There are some buses that only have one. Oh, God. I don't know how they would do that. Well, we also don't have that many people. I feel bad for the people with

like 12 people on the bus. Oh, my gosh. Imagine. The most we have on our bus is six. Yeah. We don't all have to shit at the same time we just don't eat and we also most of the time we're parked at the venue so they can go in and use the dressing room or we have a hotel room so we make sure that everybody is always kind of like looked after taken care of yeah yeah you got to take care of the crew while you're on tour, man. Yeah. They're all you got. Has your anxiety relaxed as the years have passed,

or is it still nerve-wracking when you go on stage or out in the arenas? I'm so excited to go to the next show close to me in November. You know, I've been getting this question a lot. Excuse me. I just burped up tuna. No. I've been getting this question a lot. I make tuna tostadas. I've been getting this question a lot because, and I've talked about it. I've touched base on it somewhere. I don't even know. It might've been the podcast or

one of these Ask, Tell, Confesses, but I truly believe in exposure therapy. I preach it and I live it and I practice what I preach. If you are scared of something, face it head on. And somehow, some way it retrains the like neuropathogens in your brain to realize that you're safe. Last year I was doing these meet and greets and I was panicked every time I wore a mask. I had gloves on. Always had to wear long sleeves. Yeah, because I didn't want to be touched, like my skin to touch other people. And this year I'm hugging everybody. Yeah, you're half naked. Half naked hugging everybody.

Not to say that I still don't have to go and do my rituals after and like wash my hands and like decompress. And sometimes I'll feel like anxiety coming on. No, you're getting so much better. So much better. And touring has helped my anxiety so much because like before I was almost borderline agoraphobic and didn't want to leave the house. And, you know, my husband came to me and was like, you are reminding me so much of my mom. And he's like, if you don't get out of the house, we are going to have to rethink our marriage, seem harsh, but I have to be kind of like spoken to that way or else I'm going to sit in my comfort zone. And when he said that, I was like, you know what? He's right, dude. Like I've sat in this house for since my sobriety journey started in 2017. And I just kind of like got more and more inverted. And then when COVID hit, oh my God,

I didn't want to go anywhere. So like 2020 just made me like a shut in. Like I didn't want to, I didn't even want to go to the grocery store type thing. And, um, you know, tours really brought me out of my shell and these meet and greets, you guys that come to these meet and greets are helping me heal. And that's what I tell everybody when I meet them. I'm like, it's because of you guys that I'm able to do this. Cause you know, two years ago I would have never been able to hug somebody or shake their hands, you know? So yeah, it's definitely getting easier. And I'm telling you right now, if you have something that you're facing that is, you know, a huge fear of yours or gives you panic attacks, I'm telling you, just start doing something differently. Like if you're scared to leave your house,

make yourself walk around the block once a day, and then that'll turn into... Yeah, start slow and then just build up go for a drive go to the store you know like just keep uh just keep trying to figure out ways to not let your um anxiety control you yeah yeah i'm proud of you i'm proud of you you son of a bitch i didn't do anything ah yeah you did you lost 11 pounds bitch yeah about that yeah your appetite is my bff listen guys i know you guys i'm gonna get a world of shit when i say this but i'm hopping on the tri-sepidite train too t-train it's not about me it's about you we'll talk about me in a second but

hayley's lost 11 pounds mimi's lost fucking. Almost 40, I think. Yeah, 40 pounds. She's looking amazing. Me and Mimi's ass is like the same size. Yeah. So I can say that I am inspired by these ladies that are around me. And I just. Yeah, all we eat is crumbs.

Yeah. All we eat is air. Air and crumbs. No, I eat a lot. But I have to on this diet that I'm on. But I, you know, I'm 44 years old and weight does not come off easy. I have, I have been stalled at a certain weight for since March and it's driving me crazy. Like I can't even lose five pounds. And before I used to,

you eat so clean and you work out. So I didn't like, it's crazy to me. So I'm just going to do a little micro dose and on the old tri-zepi and I'm going to let you guys know how it goes. Yeah. Don't tell me not to do it. Cause I'm going to do it. I already ordered it. It's on the way. It's on the way. Yeah. Is there a certain state or venue that's on your bucket list to visit? I would say that we're all really excited for Madison square garden. Yes. And, uh, suicide boys. Yeah. That's the only reason I'm on this tour. Literally, literally we are going to and Suicide Boys. That's the only reason I'm on this tour. Literally, literally. We are going to see Suicide Boys

in Boston and I am so excited. I love Suicide Boys but I had to wait until they got sober because their music scared me before that. I showed her some songs and she's like, it's a little scary. I'm like, this is scary but now their sober their Sober record, the one they just dropped. Oh, my God.

I love it. Like, love, love, love it. So we're going to go see it. I'm going to cry. I know. I know. Haley loves Suicide Boys. I put that on my vision board.

So that's something I can knock off my vision board. Yeah. These vision boards have been powerful this year. Yeah. Crazy. All the shit that's on our vision boards have come true. Yeah. Losing Weight was one of them.

Yeah. And now we're on the Big T. Big T train. Yeah. Big T train. Yeah, big T train. So we're going to go see Suicide Boys, but I'd have to say Madison Square Garden for sure. That's like iconic AF. To go and be able to watch my husband sell out that

arena is just insane. The day after he sells out Madison Square Garden, he's going to do Saturday Night Live. Bro. Bro. Bro. Bro. Bruh. Bruh. So cool, dude.

Like, I cannot believe it. I'm so stoked for my husband. This is a childhood dream of his, and there's nothing that man can't do, dude. I'm fucking tired of it. It's like, how many times do you tell somebody you're proud of them? Like, I need to think of a new word. Let me suck your penis?

I mean, I say that all the time. Okay. You know, I mean, i mean that's nothing new to him too he's been hearing that for a decade now i can't believe jay and i have been together almost a decade it's crazy it's really crazy damn damn i didn't think i didn't think i was you know i didn't think i was like long-term material you did it here you are here i. I'm a missus. You are. Wow. You are. I never knew. You're a missus.

It didn't realize. In our ass. But the crazy thing is we're going to be in Boston too and we want to go to Salem so bad. So bad. Haley's nickname

when we go to bars is Salem. Salem. Yeah. Salem and Stella. Yes. I love it. I fucking want to go to Salem so bad. So i was like hayley we can go to salem if

we don't go to suicide boys and she's like bitch no we're going absolutely boys yeah salem will always be there we're trying to talk the suicide boys into one coming on the podcast but two coming and playing at jay's show the next day you guys need to go message them and tell them to come on. Old scrim and rubes. Yeah. Ruby the Trier. All right, guys. We're out of here.

We love you, and I'll see you next week. Bye. Bye.