Dumb Blonde - Ask, Tell, Confess: Who Rubs One Out at Work??

Episode Date: July 3, 2026

The gang is back for another Ask, Tell, Confess, and this week nothing is off-limits. Bunnie, Meme, Hailee, and Jaime kick things off catching up on tornado warnings, Bunnie's latest "home improvements," and the unexpected life updates that somehow go completely off the rails.Then it's time for your workplace horror stories. From the infamous "cereal pooper" and assembly line disasters to coworkers behaving badly, these confessions had everyone gagging, laughing, and questioning humanity.If you've ever survived a nightmare coworker, worked a job that tested your sanity, or wondered how some people manage to stay employed, this episode is for you.Got a story that sounds too wild to be real? We want to hear it! Send your Ask, Tell, Confess submission to [e-mail] with "ATC" in the subject line, or DM us on Instagram, and you just might hear your story on a future episode.Watch Full Episodes & More: YouTubeSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I feel like a lot of us just accept our phone bill for what it is and never really question it. Then one day, you look at it and think, why am I paying this much? That's what I like about Mint Mobile. There are no gimmicks, no surprise fees, and no gotchas. Just premium wireless service on the T-Mobile 5G network for $15 a month. MintMobile took what's wrong with wireless and made it right. You get high-speed data, unlimited talk and text, plus coverage on the nation's largest 5G network. And if you're thinking switching sounds like a pain, it's not.

You can keep your current phone, keep your current number, choose from three, six, or 12-month plans, and sign up online in just a few minutes. Honestly, with prices being what they are these days, if there's an easy way to save money every month without giving something up, I'm all for it. To get your new wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to mintmobile.com slash BUNN-N-I-E. That's mintmobile.com slash bunny. Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com slash bunny. That's it. There's no catch. Up front payment of $45 for three months, $90 for six months,

or $180 for 12 months, plan required, $15 per month equivalent. Taxes and fees extra. Initial plan term only. Greater than 50 gigabytes may slow when network is busy, includes up to 20 gigabytes hotspot. Capable device required, availability, speed and coverage varies. Seamentmobile.com. Y'all know I'm always looking for little ways to update my home. And recently, I decided to refresh my patio with some new outdoor furniture. What surprised me most about Wayfair was the huge selection. I found so many different styles and price points in one place, which made it easy to find pieces I loved without feeling like I had to spend a fortune. I also loved being able to read reviews and see photos from real customers before making a decision. It takes a lot of the guesswork out of the

shopping online. The new furniture went right on my patio and it really freshened up the space. It already got a lot of use, but the update made it feel more comfortable, more inviting, and more put together. And yes, I would absolutely recommend Wayfair to a friend. Between the selection, the reviews, the price points, and how easy it is to find something that fits your style, it just makes home shopping so much easier. Ready to upgrade your home for way less, head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home and get your space ready for less. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com. I ask tell you best. I'm sorry.

I asked tell you best. Hello, friends. Welcome back to another ask tale. That was nice. Good. Yeah. Hello, friends. How is everybody doing?

What just happened to us? Bro, we just drove through a fucking tornado. Like hail, people swerving all over the road, wind. blowing the trees and the cars to the side. We hit something. We don't know what it was. Yeah, I haven't even looked to see what the damage is done to my car. I got it on video.

We literally hit something. Yeah. No, it was the eye of the tiger. Like it was, I swear. I drove through a portion of it. Yeah. No, we were on, what is it, 840? Uh-huh.

For about 20 minutes. Dude, cars pulled over on the side of the road, pulled over under passes. At one point, we're under the overpass. Like, with like, four other. car, five other cars and people were just stopping traffic. Yeah, I was like, I'm not sitting here. I'm not going to be a fucking sitting duck. Let me just get home. Took off. That's how I handle everything in life. Just fucking trudges, just face it head on and get it the fuck over with. And we came out on the other side. Look at us. We came out on the other side. Did you look at us?

You made it. Yeah. We got to our exit and it was like bright and sunny and beautiful. I mean, I feel like that's how life is. You got to go through the storm to get to the freaking bright, sunny, beautiful side. Yeah. You know, like somewhere over the rainbow. Somewhere. Oh, girl. Oh.

Way up high. Why were we all so quiet? Well. Well, it's been a hell of a week. We just left my plastic surgeon's office. If you see any fucking additional add-ons to me, no, you didn't. That's all I'm going to say about it. Adons is wild.

Listen, home improvements is what we're going to call it, baby. We're improving the home improvements. I get it. Yeah, I'm on this journey of just making myself feel good. That's what we're going to do. So if I do get home improvements, it's going to happen next Tuesday. My first surgeon. We can do it next Tuesday.

She said, I was like, that's our moving date at the new property. I was like, what the hell? But listen, new add-ons, new locations, new location. new everything new new new phone hootis yeah yeah oh that's coming next yeah oh that's coming I have to I know you bro this announcement has brought all the weirdos out I have a people texting I don't even it's crazy like just random people are it's starting up conversations yeah it's nuts this has brought all the craziness out oh and then us doing a podcast on the DMs last week just lit a fire everybody's asked to go into my DMs.

Oh, really? Did it get better? You get better or worse? I don't know because, you know, it's like... Do you have any? For the class? I mean, I might... Share.

Please. You're one or two for the class. No, no, no. We'll do a whole episode on it, but I might have somebody that I think is cute. So I don't know. We'll see. A new one.

A new one. I can't do. Do I know? Yes. You guys know. Oh. We know. Pretty little.

That's the only hint I'll give you. It's like riding a bicycle, but you got a dick inside of you. He's, oh, that one. He's pretty to look at. So I don't know. We'll see. And he's West Coast. So I love, love, love me a West Coast boy.

Is he tall? So he decided. We don't know his height? I mean, we do. Do we? Do we? I don't know. We might have to give it a goog.

I don't know. We'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. But nothing, you know, I think it's okay to think somebody's hot. That's different than. Oh, okay, wait. Okay, yeah. Cut this.

Oh, how? Just bleep, beep, beep, beep. We know how tall. Oh, we will know how tall. Look right now. Look right now. Okay, we'll figure out how tall he is by this. He wants to come out here and see me, but I don't know.

Is he born and raised West Coast? Yeah. Mm. Okay. Listen, I don't want a country boy. Everybody's like, good. He looks a little tall. Okay.

Oh, then he's probably, he's at least six. Six, two, six three. And he's tall and skinny. Oh, he's got a baby arm. Mm. I hope so. You guys know I'm always looking. for things that make life easier, and that's one of the reasons I like Chime. It's not like

traditional banks that seem to have a fee for everything. Chime offers fee-free banking, so you can keep more of your money in your pocket. I also think my pay is really cool. Eligible members can get access to up to $500 of their pay before payday, which can be a huge help when life throws you a curveball, or you just don't want to wait for your money. And with Spot Me, eligible members can overdraft up to $200 fee-free, because let's be honest, we've all had those moments where little extra flexibility comes in handy. If you travel, Chime has great perks too, including access to airport lounges and 24-7 travel concierge services with your Chime card. Plus, Chime is rated five stars by USA Today for customer

service. What I like most is that it feels like Chime is actually on your side instead of looking for ways to charge you more fees. Honestly, my 20-something-year-old self would have been obsessed with this. You're not just switching banks. You're upgrading to America's number. one choice for banking with a chime checking account. Chime is not just smarter banking. It is the most rewarding way to bank. Join the millions who are already banking fee-free today. Head to chime.com slash BUNN-N-I-E. That's chime.com slash bunny. It only takes a few minutes to sign up. Chime is a finteching, not a bank. Bank. Banking services for MyPay and Chim card provided by Chim's bank partners. Optional products and services may have fees or charges. Stateed annual percentage

yield and cashback for chime prime only. No minimum balance required. Checking account ranking based on a JD Power Survey published October 20, 2025. For more information on APY rates, My pay, spot me and travel perks. Go to chime.com slash disclosures. When I launched bunnyXO.com, one of the biggest things that took the pressure off was not having to piece together a bunch of different tools. Shopify had everything I needed in one place, from designing the site to launching it and taking orders so I could focus on the products instead of the tech. My favorite part was seeing the site actually go live and look like a real brand. Shopify's templates made everything look polished and professional from day one. And that's when it really started to feel like an actual business instead of just an idea.

And once orders start coming in, I realized how easy the checkout process was for customers. People could get in, shop, and checkout without any headaches, which gave me a lot of confidence knowing I wasn't losing sales because the process was complicated. One thing I really appreciate is that Shopify has an AI assistant called Sidekick built right in. When questions come up, it's there to help you find answers and keep things moving, which is a huge help when you're running a business. Start your free trial at Shopify.com slash BUNN-N-I-E. Start your free trial at Shopify.com slash bunny. Anyways.

Okay. And listen, I'm just looking to, you know, my mom is getting her spark back like we've been talking about. And I think it's okay to have a little baby crush on people. So, anyways, moving on. That's all I need is the fucking internet trying to figure out who we're talking about. No. They won't figure it out though.

Fuck no. We'll cut this up so good. Yeah, yeah. Chippity chopped this up, Jason, so that people are very confused at who we could possibly be talking about. But yeah. All right. So anyways, we are doing some ass tal confesses.

A lot of people have been messaging us. Keep doing it because all you have to do is just put ATC, DM us on Instagram. That way that you can get your story in. We should just make an email for people to ask tell confess because there's a lot of people. Do we have one? Oh shit. What is it? I'll put it in there.

All right. Well, I don't even know that we had a phone number. Did we check it on Bob to see how Bob's doing? Oh my God. I didn't. Hold on. Let me text Bob. Should we call him?

Just give him a call. Are we calling Bob? Yeah. We haven't heard from Bob and like what? Has he not left a voicemail for us in a minute? No. We hope Bobarino's doing good, man. So anyways.

He texts me. For at, while we call Bob, for Ashtal Confest today, we're doing something with the workplace, right? Like crazy stories in the workplace. Yeah. So I decided this week I was going to ask you guys, what was the craziest thing that you ever saw happen at work? And boy, did they deliver. Oh. The work ones are always gross.

It makes me never want to eat out. Why are you so many people fucking at work? Because you spend eight hours a day with that person seven days a week. You're going to develop porniness. Have you ever fuck someone at? at work. I worked at Mac. It was all girls. Did you ever fuck someone at work? I did not. Did you ever fuck someone at work?

Wait. It wasn't at work, but it was from someone that I worked with when I was a host at at Logan's. Oh. Was it a waiter or a bartender? He was a waiter. Oh, nice. It was after a shift one time. So we were technically still in our uniform. Damn. It was kind of hot. I know. All sweaty.

Yeah, they say that work affairs, start all the time because people are together so much. Like you are like they call them work husbands or work wives or something like that. That's why I could never date a dude in an office because I would not fucking even trust that. Come home and tell me you got a work wife. Okay, cool, buddy. Go fucking live with her. Let her put up with your shit. We're calling Bob. Call Bobarino. Bob. We miss you. We just wanted to call the check on you. Love you, Boberino. have you been? Oh, I've been as good as ever.

Oh, I'm so happy to hear that. How's the weather over there? Good. Good. When are we getting together? Oh, man. We'll be on the West Coast soon. Yeah.

We got to come over there to see you. Yeah. Yes, you do. Yeah, we just wanted to call and check on you. You're on the podcast right now. Can you say hi to everyone? Hi, everybody. We were worried.

Hey, would you like to have. and help me to do a birthday. A birth? When's your birthday, Bob? Next year. Next, this for a world. Where? In September.

September what? 25th. I love it. Him and Mo have. They're the same sign. I love that. So much. We're going to have to send you a birthday present, Bob.

Yeah. Yeah. Awesome. We're going to get back to our podcast. Can you give us a Bob out? Bob out. Bob out. We love you, Bob.

Bye, Bob. Bye, Bob. Oh, my goodness. The other day, he colored his hair pink. He's so sweet. I just love him. It's her new grandpa. No, for real.

We need to get out to Oregon and see him. I know. I want to go hiking out there anyways and go see the waterfalls and stuff. Flylight? Yeah. That would be so gorgeous. Yeah. As long as we're going to go to Portland.

Can we stay at the Twilight House? Yeah, as long as it's away from Portland where they smoke fentanyl for out in the open and shit. Like, I'm not doing that. Mm-mm. What would we have to fly into? I think it is portland. If we'd fly private, we could fly into any airport, right? Yeah.

Okay, yeah, let's do that. That would be fun. Is that where Twilight was filmed? Okay, cool. All right, let's get into these stories. So hot and bothered over here, bro. You know her credit card is Twilight, right? We were at the bar the other day, and she pulls it out.

I said, is that Edward? You're like one of those Disney adults. Okay. I don't know. I feel like Twilight is the cool. With Harry Potter and Twilight, yes. You're like one of those Disney adults. I'm not a Disney adult.

Do we, how do we feel about Disney adults? We're going to insult some people here. Cut this out. No. No, put it in. Leave it in. I've seen them. I've seen them around.

I will. Yeah. I mean, I had fun at Disney. There's a 50-50. I cried during the fireworks. That was beautiful. I did cry during the fireworks. I think if you make it your entire personality, I think if you make anything your entire

personality. Yeah, that part. Then if it's who defines you as a person, let's find a new. hobby. Yeah. Maybe more than just one. Yeah. What's the like appropriate amount to go to Disneyland if you are an adult with no kids? Once. Twice? But once a month or once a week? Oh, like, who wants to go through all of that? That's what Disney adults do. Yeah. Yeah. They go like once a week at least. What? It's a week. I've heard that's a bit. I feel like it like again, if anything you do that's overkill where you are, it's your entire.

personality, then that's, you know, as an obsession. And you can't. Yeah. That part. It doesn't just have to be Disney. Yeah, it doesn't just have to be Disney. Like, you know, you know. They have a certain.

Yeah. All right. Let's get to these work things. All right. This one's short and sweet. This customer that is in his 70s likes to come into our store in the mornings and he only wears athletic shorts and they are so short that his nuts hang out of the bottom. Oh, the twig and berry.

The old twig and berries and berries. My neighbor, my neighbor that I grew up with used to do that. It didn't make it in the book, but we called him red balls because literally in the backyard, he would sit with his Clark bar and balls hanging out of his short-ass shorts and he knew we were looking at him, dude. When we were watching your old home videos, you were like, look, there's the guy who's shorts and his balls would always hang out. I was watching like her home videos.

Yeah. And it was like her little swimming pool and her chickens. And then her dad pans over. And she's like, that's the house with the old dude that's bald to hang out. Yeah. The hell happened. A lot. A lot happened.

That didn't make it into the book. Yeah, there was a lot that didn't make it into the book. But yeah, so red balls. I can't believe he was walking around with his twig and berries out. And you know they can feel that. That's a draft. I was going to say, how do you not know that it's like, like, does it just lay on the chair when you're sitting there? How do you not know?

And then I can imagine my vagina just, but their balls sweat. literally their balls sweat so when they get up it's like velcro like they if it sticks on a fucking leather Joe dirt when the the dog's balls get stuck to the front porch and he's got to get it off with the spatula yeah no all right I'll go next not in this heat this heat this heat sucks with your balls away oh this heat is disgusting if I had balls in this heat I'd be I'd be very mad um all right I watched a woman get scalped by an assembly line. She was underneath it cleaning when somebody started up the line.

Her hair got caught up in a roller and pulled off a four inch chunk off of her scalp. So much blood. I just made my stomach hurt. The thought of a witty. Oh my gosh. It's like Instagram reels.

Yeah. That's what's on my area. Yeah, you never. What are you watching? Oh, late night I see. Trains. Oh, my gosh. My Instagram reels are.

I need to fucking. update my FYP. It's all fucking just corny shit now. I'm like, can we move on? Where's all the hot dudes on Instagram? I don't need any more fucking inspiration. I'm, I'm already over it. Let's go. No, I couldn't imagine ripping hair straight off the scalp. No. No. No. It takes a whole chunk. Have you guys ever ripped like girls' hair off when you're like fighting? Is that hard to do? Yeah, but not from the scalp. Like you have to rip somebody's scalp off their head. You have to, it's the force and the power that has to come off. Yeah.

Crazy. There was a girl who, when I was growing up in Vegas, um, jumped in Lake Mead and her hair got wrapped around a propeller. Yeah. Scalpter? It killed her. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. That's why you always got to be really careful with boats. Like never jump off the back. Oh, scare me. Never jump off the back if the propeller is going because you can literally die, especially if you have long hair.

That gave me, that just, who, yeah. That's insane. dude no i did witness a fight one time in a denny's parking lot at 2 a.m. and when i went out there there was just hair everywhere yeah denny's parking lot at 2 a.m and what part of the country the west coast fairfield california yeah oh baby yep we went out there and there's a huge

dent inside of our car where they had tussled out of their car hit our car yeah how do you start fighting with somebody in the same car yeah so they were in the back seat and they were fighting you see the car doing this and the dude's yelling outside and then they kick their door open hits our car is it too girls yeah oh dense the side of our car and then they tumbled out of the back of the car and just ripped each other's hair out all over the parking lot yeah i wouldn't expect any less from a denny's no no no at two a m that's like waffle house at two a m yeah moon's ever by hammie you never know i love denny's you know what i used to love blueberry hill i don't know if you guys ever had those. Oh my God. It's like a mixture of IHop and Denny's, but it's in Vegas and it's

blueberry hill. So good. The biscuits and gravy. Did you guys have Blackberry Diner? Black Bear Diner? Yeah. I love BlackBerry Diner's waffles. Yeah, yeah, we had those in Vegas. I worked at a liquor store, gas station, deli combined. One night, the store is empty and a woman came in to just use the restroom. Totally fine. But 20 minutes goes by and my coworker says, hey, she hasn't come out of there yet. Five more minutes go by and she does emerge from the bathroom, but she's walking out of the store, smelling her hands like just double fisties to the face and deep whiffing those bad boys and loving it. My heart dropped.

That bitch went in and closed the toilet lid and sat on the upper deck, not open as well, and blasted diarrhea down the whole toilet. It looked like she clawed through her shit and then flung it into the sink and didn't wash her hands. then she flushed her flag-sized undies down the toilet and broke the pipes. I drew a fucking picture of her and hung it up that said wanted the serial pooper. I'm just wondering what goes through people's minds before they do weird shit. Because I know that when I do premeditated stuff, I think I think it out, you know, like I really think it out.

So this woman, like, you don't just do that on a whim. How do you know to even lift a fucking toilet seat like that and shit in the back? No, it was closed. She shit on the wall. Shit on the toilet. Oh, I thought she took the thing off the top. Nope, she sat out of her and shit down it. It even worse.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, like I thought she had some genius. You can't be sober. No. You can't be sober. No, for sure. Cannot be sober. I would love to see the picture he drew.

I would like to see the picture too. It reminds me of like, remember when they drew that leprecon? It's a great photo. Such a great meme. God, I love that. That's how I felt during the colonoscopy the other day, though. Oh, yeah, you guys, Mimi and I went and got colonoscopies on Friday. I have to just tell you, I have showed everybody.

I have a video of it. If you guys want to see it, I'll show you. But I have really the prettiest butthole ever. Like on the inside, on the outside might be questionable. On the inside. On the inside. Oh, my God. It is so pretty.

It looks like just. It's like a little. rose and it's just perfect and like the color and just clean. My kids found mine and said, the fuck is that? That's my insides. Oh, yeah, but man, I had fun. I love getting put to sleep. It's my new thing.

I used to be so scared of anesthesia. And now I'm like, give it to me. That was nice. I was such a good rest. Yeah, I actually, that was the first time I've ever felt rested from anesthesia. Yeah, you were good. Yeah. We did it as family guys.

There was four of us that rolled in there. deep. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We got proofs just. Everything's good though. Everything's good.

We're all good. So yep. Yeah. You guys got to get your colonoscopies. There's going to start moving the colonoscopies up to 40 years old. So you used to be 45. Now you got to go when you're 40. Well, it hasn't changed yet, but they're going to move it up.

Yeah. But it's because so many young people are getting colon cancer. So I was about to say, what's the like earliest you could go? Well, it's complications. So if you have like pre-cancer. or a cells or if you're like having blood or any of those signs you need to go get a colonoscopy. 100%. Yeah. My signs came early on. I ignored them until I was pregnant with cash and they were like, this is really serious. You should really take care of this. And so then I went through with it because

I was like, oh, I have a reason to live my kids and shit. So I went and got it done and that's when they found it. Yeah. So you can go as early as I was 20. If you're having symptoms, go get a cold. There's a breeze. You're in and out an hour. And you know what? The prep wasn't that bad.

It was not. It was not bad. The first prep I did was horrific. This prep. Mine didn't work. You didn't do the full prep. No, but that stuff doesn't work on me either. I took four laxatives.

Yeah, but I also drink an entire container in Miralax. Well, I did buy a thing of magnesium. Blasinate. Citrate. Was it citrate? I don't know what I bought, but I was scared. Oh, you should be. I was watching TikToks and someone was like.

like you're going to need at least two to three days. I said, never mind. Yeah. I'm only doing this for them. Because the first, Mo and I took it one day just for fun. We filmed it.

I think we made a TikTok. The first day didn't even bother me. And I didn't think it worked. The second day. Did you lose weight though? I mean, you never really lose weight when you, you lose weight for that next day.

And then it comes back like water weight. So that's, all right. So it's not anymore. No, you never want to. laxative the laxative diet does not work no you can fuck up your electrolytes you get electrolyte unbalances and then you game back double the water so it's not even worth it I weighed myself mourning of completely empty and I was a pound

heavier oh yeah yeah uh this one says that they worked a a veterinarian's office and she would have a co-worker who would refuse to wear gloves when they would express dogs anal glands oh come on even that made Chachi uncomfortable look. He's getting out of here. Chachi said, I'm getting a fuck out of here. He went into that at all, dude. Like, that's disgusting.

This is why you don't shake people's hands. No. This is exactly why I will never shake up. There was multiple of those. I even got one where, like, people were trimming their toenails in their office and then, like, going into the break room and touching stuff. And then they said they did catch one guy jacking off in his office.

And later that day was cutting cake for people and serving it. Hold on. Hold on. They caught this man jerking off in his office and let him stay there long enough to cut cake for somebody else. I got so many DMs of people who found their co-workers jacking off in their offices. Okay, but does nobody get reprimanded or is it just a fucking free-for-all now? Yeah. I mean, why aren't we doing it in the bathroom?

Oh, the bathroom. You really got to rub one out? Go to the bathroom. It might be a little office fetish, you know? It could be. Yeah. You know, it definitely could be. But my thing is, do people not get fired for that?

I'm guessing not. Back in my day. If you fucking were whacking off in your office, you're going to get fucking fired. I'm wondering if it's like a, they're just not snitching on their co-worker. They did to you. I'm not firing them.

I don't, I don't know if I believe that. It might have been the person who was jacking off that wrote that in. And fucking and then was like, yeah, and then I was cutting cake later. Like,

you know, just some weird fucking fetish, dude. Touching the end of the cake. Yeah. Every single one of them helping it onto the plate. All right. I work in a pretty safe,

a fluent, town and my co-worker let a homeless man use our bathroom after we closed he proceeded to be in there for 30 minutes and blew up the bathroom as much as you can possibly blow up a bathroom like sprayed shit on the walls we had to scream at him to get out as he walked out and tried sitting in a booth my co-worker and i had to stuff tissues up our noses and wear garbage bags aprons and long rubber gloves the most disgusting thing i've ever seen or had to clean up felt dirty for two days after that. I also went to wipe a booth seat one time and wiped up what I thought was chocolate,

got a whiff, it was not chocolate. Take your couch. Okay. That's crazy. Listen, you couldn't fucking pay me enough. No.

If somebody sent me in to clean up a bathroom like that, absolutely the fuck, fire me. Walking out. Fire me. Nope. I'm not doing it. What if you breathe it in and like, and I can't do it, dude.

I'd rather drag my labia across asphalt than do that. I'd rather light my labia on fire. Okay, there's no fucking way. I'd rather nail it to a wall. Please. I'm not doing, I am not cleaning up anybody's shit. We had to use a porta potty when we went horseback riding. And it was.

That was not a portobody. That was a full-on bathroom. It was a fucking port-a-potty. That was a portable bathroom that just happened to look like a real bathroom. Wait. I hovered. I literally with all my strength, just stood over it and peed because I was not about to put my ass on there. No, there's no way.

It was definitely a porta potty. No, that was a portable building that they placed right there. I don't care what anybody says. The stench in porta potty is just you'll never forget that. But Dustin was telling me the other day because he was mowing the lawn and I was like, man, you're like covered in shit. He's like, talk about covered and shit. He was like, we used to work because he works for like septic and water and stuff like that.

and they used to have to get down into septic, like chest deep. Yeah. I don't know how Amy would suck them off after that. Like, how do you, like, know that you're like chest deep? How do you not fucking puke? That's what I'm saying. I'm gagging. I can't.

I have such a sensitive stomach. There's no fucking way. I think the thought of it makes me gag. I worked at a hotel and years ago, we had jacuzzi suites with the typical jacuzzi tub in the room. After a couple checked out the entire. The entire tub was coated in a brown film. We have no idea if they had added something to the water if it was biological. The room had to be put out of order for a few days for cleaning.

God, could you imagine those jets? Imagine what's inside. If that was running. I would never. I would have jacuzzi sweets. Yeah, well, they have those in Vegas. I have a lot of those. I will never.

No, never, never, never, never. There's no. I already can't take baths because if I sit in the water too long, my legs start itching only at my ankles though. It it's the it's just so bad and like I don't know what it is. I've seen this before. It's a condition that people have that if you sit in baths, your ankles or part part of your skin starts itching.

Oh my God. It's horrific. That happened to her the other day. We were washing out her hair and you had to take a bath because it had like an anxiety attack or something like that. And when she got out her ankles were literally, it looked like she had like bites around her ankle. And it stings like ant bites.

Like it's the crazy. I don't know if anybody else has ever had that, but I can't take baths because of it. I take baths all the time. I love baths. I love a good bath. I mean, I do too, but I can't. If my ankle is it, every time I took a bath, I wouldn't though. Yeah, no, it's terrible.

It's done that to be since I was a kid, though. Like, I've always had that. It's almost like my skin gets too hot. It just reacts. I don't know. It's weird. Yeah. All right.

This one is about toenail clippings like you were talking about earlier. I had a man in his mid-sevent. dining alone. He clips his toenails at the table. He left the clippings in a pile on the table. Second worst was when the town drunk had his not prescribed to him pills hit at the same time as his second beer. He regurgitated his beer into his glass without realizing and kept drinking. Then proceeded to shit, puke all over the bathroom.

He was immediately banned. I'm crying. Bro, anybody cusses their toenails. I fucking hate that. And I mean, cut them at home, of course. But in a public place, an old man toenails man, those are bad. Those are tough.

What makes you think, like, you know what? It's a good time right now to cut my toenails. So I have a story. I was doing cocktails and we'll have to block out the performer's name because I don't want to get sued. This is a real story, though. I was doing cocktails at, this is when I was a cocktail which was at the Hilton and was performing there.

She had like a residence there. This was back in the day. I mean, it had to have been like 20 something years old. And I went to go wait on her. And this bitch had her feet up on, I'm talking barefoot, up on the table that she was sitting at in this restaurant,

just digging in her toenails, cleaning out underneath her. toenails, dude. It was the grossest shit I had ever seen in my life. What was she cleaning him out with? It just looked like a little like Q-tip type thing underneath her toenails. No, it was and people were around her eating and yeah, it was bad. And I just remember thinking, that nasty human. I remember just thinking to myself like, who does this? It was just and she was so rude. I was waiting on her. She was so fucking rude. Yeah, it was bad. You can be rude and digging your feet. Yeah. What kind of human are you? But bunions. It was bad.

You know, old lady feet? Yeah. Oh, she was old? I mean, she wasn't young. She's got to be like, fuck. How old is she now? Let's see. I don't even know if she's still alive.

That's disgusting. Touching feet in public is one thing, you know. I don't even know what song she sings. Ew. I just remember she thought she was so cool. Yeah, she's 67 now. So she probably had to have been 40, 40-ish. Just digging underneath her toenails.

Just digging underneath her toenails. What songs does she sing? I was actually going to say with like a fork or something. Yep, never heard of any of the songs she's ever saying. So yeah. Yep. Anyways. I got a I got to work when I just remembered.

Let's go, buddy. Give it to me. I'm sorry. Give it to me, baby. I used to work at a pizza spot. Not too long ago, actually, is when I moved here. I was in college. Worked at a pizza spot.

I was waiting on this couple and they ordered like a pepperoni pizza, some wings. Pretty standard. Like they looked like a normal couple. go back, come back out. And it wasn't even me who noticed, but I think another coworker noticed, hey, who has table, so-and-so? And I'm like, me.

They're like, I think she's getting fingered. And I'm like, excuse me? At the dinner table? Yeah. Yeah. And like in a booth where it's like in the corner, open concept, by the way,

there's no corners in this restaurant. You could see everything. And it was like a Wednesday. It wasn't packed, right? I go out there and like, I see. see the man and the girl like this and I see him like this, like kind of covering, but his hands down there.

Tell the manager and he flips. He's like, ew, what? He was like a gay guy. He was pretty awesome. BFF. But yeah, he went out there and said, excuse me, you can't do that here and just started spraying, like disinfectant on them. On them?

Yeah. That's not even the grossest part. I didn't see them get up to wash her like wash any hands. So they probably went to the salad bar. They went to, they went like pizza hands in, on your cooch.

Yeah. So. I'm, I'm good. I'm not into that. You need to wash your hands and fucking get a, this one wants it. Get,

yeah, in public, that's crazy. Talk about it. Let's talk about it. Haley. Hey. We can't.

We can't. We can. Can't. My bad. I'm so sorry. Listen, dude. I'm down for some freaky shit,

but doing that at a freaking, uh, pizza place. Come on. Yeah. That one's off limits. No. I don't believe it.

Because then like, what if you touch the salt and the pepper? What if there's kids there? Like, you can catch a charge for that. That's not worth that. Oh, that's fucking weird.

There's a thin line between hot and weird. If someone did that in front of my kids, I would fight them. Yeah, no, that's fucked up. Apps of fucking lootly, dude. Like, I'm so quick to be very protective of my children. And if they were ever to do some fuck shit in public, I'm going to jail because I will whoop your ass. Yeah, remember the whole OF era where girls were doing like crazy shit in public.

Wait, there was a concert not too long ago where we watched that girl jack him off. What? Excuse me, what? You were the only one there? Were you the one jacking him off? What's happening, Mimi? It was like you and Jason? We were side stage and we looked.

I do remember that. We're standing on side stage and that was years ago. And one of the security guards was like, yo, she's jacking him off. And we were like, no, the fuck she's not. And we turned around. We were like, she's right there just going for it. I forgot about that. Yeah.

Who does that to that kind of music? I'm just saying that was not a concert. I felt like deserved that kind of energy. Yeah, nothing sexy about that. No, I wouldn't even, I wouldn't even be turned on at all. Oh, I don't know. I think there's a time and a place to be sexual outside, but not in public. Not like, I mean, no.

No, no, like with people, I'm standing next to her, you know? Like, where there's a kid right in front of that. Right, right, right. That, but I feel like, you know, it's just you guys have to, like, it's, I get like the rush of like getting caught like that's what some people are addicted to but at the same time it's like at what cost what about you honey public split no that's my anxiety is too high I would start thinking about like everything are you the are you the type of person who only sleeps and who only has sex in the bedroom yeah I think yeah actually I am wow yeah I mean but you know hotel room will

you know catch some aggression from me but like you know it's not like the headboard the headboard never saw it coming. No, but not, I think it's more of like a, a female desire because, like, there's something that itches that itch. For a guy, I think, at least for me, I'm too scared.

I think it's just you. Because if I get, no, but see. I was going to say, I haven't met a man who did not want. I know somebody else who's just like you who only likes to have sex in the bedroom. Mm-hmm. Yeah. It's scary. Well, it's like, I just think about all of the,

I'm like, what if a cop was up? You're over thinking it. I'm going to jail. You're over thinking it. Like, my dick's out in public. Even in a car, you won't have sex in a car. Yeah, what about a car? Car's good.

Car's good. Yeah, yeah. I'll do it in the Subaru. You need to be covered. You don't want the cheeks outside. I don't think I've done it in the Subaru yet. Me and Brooke got a... That is a utility sport car.

That needs to happen, bro. It's a load of the ground SUV. Go hangar in the Subaru tonight. I'm going to. Park in the driveways. I might have to tent the windows first. Bang her in the Subaru. It's like a fucking water model, bro.

It's a fucking fishbowl, yeah. Yeah. Who's getting banged in the Subaru? The Subaru's rocking. Don't come knocking. Don't come in knocking, baby. All right. And on that note, go bang your wife in a Subaru tonight.

Or husband or significant other girlfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend, whatever. Anyways, see you guys next week. Bye.