Dumb Blonde - Auntie Amanda: Unfiltered

Episode Date: September 12, 2022

Auntie Amanda, aka America's favorite aunt, joins Bunnie this week for an emotional and raw chat. Amanda talks about growing up with humble beginnings, learning to let go of trauma and drama, and how she won over the hearts of millions of people online with her amazing accent, personality, and delicious recipes. Auntie Amanda also shares how she met UncleJoey, and the lessons she learned as a child that she has made her a better adult.    Bunnie: Website  Auntie Amanda: TikTok | Instagram  Watch Full Episodes & More: www.dumbblondeunrated.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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all right gentlemen coming to main stage next this is bunny get up there she's got a tornado of titties coming your way get those dollar bills ready she's got an ass that shakes like michael j fox so get up there and throw throw throw them dollars dude that is fucking iconic Got a tornado of titties coming your way. Get those dollar bills ready. She's got an ass that shakes like Michael J. Fox. So get up there and throw, throw, throw them dollars. Dude, that is fucking iconic. What's up, you sexy motherfuckers? Welcome to another episode of Dumb Blonde. Today we have America's favorite auntie.

Oh my God. I can't believe I made it here. Dude, you almost didn't make it here though, right? No. Oh God. I'm lucky I have my fingernails left i was like digging what happened i almost broke my friend's hand on the way here tell everybody what happened oh all right so we hit turbulence on the first of all on the way i don't

do roller coasters and the entire time felt like i was on a roller coaster from hell right oh yeah so we're going up we hit turbulence i legit have a meltdown grab my friend's hand scream i screamed at the top of my lungs that reminds me of that scene from what is it bridesmaids where she's like freaking out how did you ever see that she had to take the oh my gosh and i needed to be so bad in that moment dude i embarrassed the shit out of my well i embarrassed the shit out of you but not me so i feel like we have no shame people with those with anxiety we just we don't give a fuck in that moment it's about us and we don't care because we just yeah we want to regulate

yes i'll do whatever it takes just to feel normal. Right. Please help me. Exactly. So I turn to my left. Well, actually, no, I took my seatbelt off, jumped over my friend to the to the aisle. And I look over to these three girls who are casually just eating potato chips. And they're looking at me. And I'm like, how are you eating this? Nobody cares that we're almost like we almost died just now. And I'm sitting here shaking. And the flight attendant walks over. He's like, no, we almost died just now. And I'm sitting there shaking and the flight attendant walks over. He's like, oh, my God, are you OK?

Oh, rude. No, no, no, no. Like it was lovingly. OK, gotcha. Very sweet. Gotcha. And he starts laughing hysterical. He goes, babe, you're good.

You're fine. And then every so often he would walk past and go. But he made you feel better in that moment that's good no it was cool my hands were sweaty i had pools of sweat in my sandals it was not good it was not good but we got through it and i'm here hello hi how are you um dude i somebody who deals with anxiety i 100 completely understand panic attacks i can't i literally carry my purse looks like a fucking uh first aid kit like i have fucking epi pens in there i don't even have allergies like that like you never know i have bottles of fucking benadryl i got xanax in case

i really need it fucking like it's just it's literally i get it so i understand but i'm happy you're here i'm happy to be here it's so wild I know it's crazy right let me tell you so yeah you're even more beautiful in person I love you you're beautiful I was just telling you that she said she walked in and I was like holy shit balls we might need to make some OF content get motherfuckers really talking they'd love that that would be the ultimate collab no but you you are beautiful mama and I'm so happy that you're here because I've been wanting to hear your story for a really long time I think the first time that I ever knew who you were you actually shared one of J and I's um

posts where I was like dancing on him and we were getting so much hate it was crazy but you were just so sweet and I remembered that and I was like that was so nice of her like she didn't even have to do that no but I didn't know you were getting hate on that post yeah oh yeah you just said it yeah see I didn't know I didn't know that that's not why you shared it I thought you shared it because of that no I don't but that's the thing like I live in my own bubble yeah so when people are I don't notice the bad things right away. Right. Right. So that's maybe it's my rose colored glasses. Yeah. How I always viewed the world. You know. Yeah. I wasn't taught to look for the negative and things. Yeah. You know what it is. I spent most of my life like in a really dark place. Yeah. I would love to talk about that too. Yeah. Yeah. I would love to. Um, and a really dark place. And, uh, I come from a lot of toxicity, you know, I was raised around a lot of toxicity. Where were you, where, where are you from? Oh, I'm from Staten Island. Born and raised. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So originally my, um, my mother is from Puerto Rico okay so is my father but he's not present in my life she moved here I think when she was 12 or 13 she's one of four and they moved to the

Bronx Southside Bronx she graduated from Southside Bronx High School. And they came to Staten Island. And they moved to West No, I'm sorry, New Brighton, where where my grandmother lives, lived and stuff. So I didn't really come from much. Right. Humble beginnings. Yeah, absolutely. My mom, you know, we were on welfare. My mom didn't graduate. She's not a high school graduate. Neither one of my parents were a high school graduate. Did she have babies young? Oh, yeah.

Did she start having you guys young? Yeah, my mom was a teen mom, yeah. So she had my brother at 16, me at 18. And she definitely, she struggled, man. I watched that lady was dad not present from the beginning or was he around and just kind of half in half out um my he wasn't a constant like a constant person around my mom's like you're either all in or you're you're out yeah you can't have you can't do both yeah you know so she ended up like moving after she broke up with my biological father.

I was like maybe eight months old. She moved back home with my grandmother and she struggled. She tried to, she, she found herself. But one thing about my mother, she always made ends meet, always made ends meet.

We stand a strong queen. Yeah, absolutely. And it's hard for me to talk about her. Aw, you just love her. It's okay. You got to feel things. They say, I learned in therapy that they say that when you still cry about things, it's because they still hurt you.

And they said you're finally through something whenever it doesn't bring tears to your eyes. Yeah. I'm working through it. I'm definitely working through it. I'm a new mom, and it's frightening. But you're crushing it. Yeah. No.

And my son's amazing. We'll get to that. Yeah. He's incredible. We'll get to that. I'm trying to get through this. you're good take a deep breath take you you're not we're not in a rush i want you to feel what you need to feel and you know this is what i was nervous about talking about this the trulies are on the way yeah so she did what she had to do to make ends meet um she met my stepfather when i was like one do we have any can we give her a paper towel memes i'm so sorry it's all right like one and a half

i need to start keeping tissues over there yeah the amount of people who cry on this couch yeah so um and thank you memes so that to me my stepfather is my dad you know yeah typical italian guido no uh city job talks like this you know very brooklyn accent i feel like i'm gonna start talking like this by the end of the fucking interview i I'm going to be like, where's my coffee, Mimi? People always pick fun at the accent. No, I love it. My father's from New York. He's from Queens.

Okay, so you get it. You get it. So where was I now with this? You were talking about your stepfather. And you lit up like a Christmas tree talking about your stepdad, which makes me happy. So that means that he must have been a really positive influence in your life and it was confusing growing up because the thing is that their relationship was so toxic but they loved each other so much and um probably twin flames absolutely fire fire when things were amazing things were amazing and when they were bad they were horrendous so i grew up around a lot of domestic violence a lot of instability absolutely

and um you're okay just feel it you're good i never talked about this out loud it It's good though. You need to, I didn't realize how much shit I was carrying. This is what I told trashly when she came on the podcast was I never dealt with depression until I hit 40 years old. Love trashly. Isn't she amazing? She's so sweet.

Um, I never dealt with depression until I hit 40 years old and it's because I didn't talk about things out loud because I was tough. Um, you're not going to make me cry. We're we're not you're not gonna get this wall to come down yeah and your secrets keep you sick oh you know and it comes out in other ways like I'm very I'm a very violent individual people would never know that about me Mimi's face she's like yes but people would never know that about me but that's because I was raised in such chaos like you and so much anger it just comes out in other ways you know so it's really good to get it out and it's really good to talk about it so coming from that that's what I was saying when I would go to school like I wasn't allowed to talk about any of that

stuff I feel like that was our parents generation you don't talk about it they didn't talk about mental health no they didn't talk about fucking problems everything got swept under the rug right anytime i would tell my mom how i was feeling she would tell me no you don't feel like you don't feel like that we don't a mental illness doesn't run in our family amanda that's because you're bored. Go clean your room. Like, you know, like that kind of stuff. And that hurts as a child because you're not being heard. Yeah.

Yeah. But I think feelings aren't validated. But now looking back, I think my mom, it's funny because like those core memories of her, she's my age now, you know? So I try to mirror it and I look back and I'm like she was just speaking that all her behaviors toward me but it was fear but she just didn't know how to express it I guess do you know that she meant well looking back and I'm starting to see that now for a long time I resented her yeah and I do I love her to death

but she's just I I feel like I can never fix our bonds like again like there's just too much that was done like after my parents said my parents separated when I was um 19 mom and the stepdad yeah okay and that rocked my world that was the only home that you knew and even though it wasn't it wasn't like healthy to be in it was still mine like I still had my own room like and everybody saw us looking out because I remember my parents separated so many people were shocked nobody knew what was going on behind closed doors and um and I was so confused because i love my i love my stepdad so much and he never put his hands on me never raised his voice like he would just talk to me he would talk to me like and my mom was so quick with the hands all the time you know so I you felt like he validated your feelings yeah or helped me

understand right and I I want to instill those core values of getting my point across to my son you know like that's what I think of like he would say to me don't make the same mistakes I may I make he's like I know I'm not the best man and I have a bad temper and I don't mean the same mistakes I make I make he's like I know I'm not the best man and I have a bad temper and I don't mean the things that I do and um it's just crazy it's crazy that I had to like hide that like I so many times I would walk into school like in the night before my parents were up like arguing till six o'clock in the morning you know or my him throwing my mom out and my mom having to sleep in the car like just crazy but they come from two toxic childhoods so they couldn't break the cycle i guess and i promised myself watching my mom go through that because

when my parents separated she was on her ass we had nowhere to go we moved in with a friend that she worked with and from there my mother just changed you know we were we were friends for that little time like from like eight when I like 18, 19 to like maybe 22 ish, she was like, she was my friend, you know, that scary person that I used to fear all the time that she would give me a look and like send chills down my spine. I thought like, maybe this is like, okay, I don't, they're not together anymore, but maybe I can have the mom I always wanted. Maybe I can get her to like, appreciate me appreciate me, like, see me, you know? I know that feeling.

I just got goosebumps because I'm going through the same thing with my mom, except right now. Yeah, and now, like, I just always wanted to. You just wanted a mom. You just wanted somebody to love you and tell you it's going to be okay and wrap their arms around you not get screamed at not get slapped like I get it I grew up with a very abusive stepmother so I understand what it's like and then my mom is a drug addict you know so and she's never been in

my life until I just inherited custody over fucking three months ago you know four months ago so I get it you know you just long for that relationship. And you see your friends have it. Yeah. It's the worst feeling when you see everybody else fucking having cool relationships with their parents. Even now, like around fucking holidays. Yeah, now it hurts me the most. Yeah, around holidays.

I'm like. I'm so lonely. And I'm with my in-laws and like, they're amazing. And I used to be so jealous of my husband because i feel like he did he doesn't appreciate them you know it's always like that isn't it always like that the kids who have the fucking like the together home fucking are always like oh you know like they would never not that i'm you know like you I want you to switch with me for a day right and just see how it feels right I get it like it's so lonely you know yeah is that what I feel like is I could be in a room full of people tons of people having the best time and I feel so alone because that's not one

person in there remembers me from my childhood. You still have those bonds. Like they watch you grow up. It's just different. Yeah. It's just so different. And now being a mom, like I look back and like my mother wasn't in the delivery room. But that was me. I did that. So from 18 to 22, you guys really?

Sorry. It's okay. You're okay. you're okay you're okay oh i gotta collect myself i'm a mess you don't have to apologize for having feelings i think it makes you more human to have feelings and i'm checking on your trulys right now hold on one second oh i gotta stop crying they are on the way the person just checked out so we should be good and i'll keep an eye on that right here no i think you're a fucking human you're not a robot i know just i've never talked about this out loud to anybody but my therapist and you know what i even cried more paying the cold pay on the way out every week so that's how i feel with my therapist i'm like god i don't even wear makeup

i literally wake up and get on fucking zoom with my therapist now because i know i'm just going to be ugly like it's like i just got to get through shit and just be ugly no trust me it's scary in the morning but um no uh so 18 to 22 you and your mom were close oh yes like what what do you think made that bond happen was it because she didn't have her she started using drugs oh okay were you using at the time too okay well i don't know some moms and daughters here and there but i was never brave enough to dunk my toes in that right yeah lucky you i was fucking snorting eight balls off strippers buttholes but you know that's your journey mama yeah no you i was fucking snorting eight balls off strippers buttholes but you know that's your journey mama yeah no but i admire people who didn't fall down that hole you know like i think

it's amazing i was a wussy with that shit no i admire it yeah please i'm afraid of sitting in the dark by myself because i'm afraid i'm gonna see a spirit i get that too I totally understand that also like I'm not I'm not I was never cool enough for that um so she started using drugs what was she doing like just I one time I found like a baggie because we will I said we will have a baggie you know somewhere and I don't really I don't really want to talk about it no worries I guess she was like going in my room like trying to look for a shirt or something and a little baggie you know snow fell on the floor and it's not mine right I picked it up and I knocked on the door and I'm like what is this and she flipped out she was? And she flipped out. She was embarrassed.

She flipped out. I asked my roommate at the time, the woman that we were living with, did you know about this? And I think my mom was just vulnerable, and she let the wrong people in her life. She's also working through a lot of trauma. That's what I'm saying, yeah. For anyone that would show her love or acceptance, she just clung

to. And I understand that now. I didn't get it then. Yeah. I didn't get it then. So what was the breaking point with you and your mom's relationship? Why did, why did you cut it off and why? When Sandy hit, I lost everything.

Hmm. Were you guys still living together? Yeah. She ran off, though, to Florida. I remember calling her. I had nowhere to go, and I was living out of my car. I had a Mazda at the time. Red Mazda.

Yeah. Mazda and um yeah it was fucking dark like I went through a lot of shit um so I was living out of my car I called her up and I'm like Ma you gotta come back you gotta come back and she's like Amanda you're 22 years old 23 years old at that time I had just met Joey around 20 yeah I just met him so uh this whole thing was like fresh you know right I had nowhere to go and um I was we were just talking so I wasn't gonna ask him for help you know so you're talking about the hurricane, right? Yeah, Hurricane Sandy. I lost everything. The only thing that I didn't lose was my car for some reason. Wow. Yeah, but the water went all the way up to the second floor

and destroyed everything. I had no clothes. I had nothing. I had nothing. Luckily, I had a few little pennies saved here and there got me through like two weeks and I was able to find an apartment and I stood with my brother too for a little bit so you do have siblings oh yeah yeah yeah so I have one older brother and then my I have like half siblings from my biological dad gotcha yeah um so I was able to stay with my brother. He had his own place at the time. And I stood with

him for a little bit and I bounced to my stepfather's house. And that didn't end well. Him and I bumped heads. I ended up having a complete nervous breakdown and end up totaling that car. I think I skipped a step, though, with my mom. So the reason why I cut her off is because she's like, you're 22 years old. Go live your life already. Why are you worried about me? And I was worried about it because the guy that she ran off with was not okay.

You know, he's passed away now. But he ended up overdosing somewhere I'm just happy that my mom wasn't with him wow but um you know she I guess she got caught in it whatever it was that she was doing right at the time she got caught in it you know and she was with a guy she felt love whatever the situation was she didn't come back so there I was literally on my ass with nothing and I had to I was shattered my world was and she let you down one absolutely one last time and I was like you know what I'm never gonna let anybody make me feel like this I remember that like I need them and i oh i that feeling i was i remember

feeling so angry and betrayed like i was down for you like you know no matter what i loved you unconditionally no matter how many times you like punched me in my face or ripped chunks out of my head i i still was fucking down for you. And I was like, I'm never going to allow somebody to disappoint me like this ever again. I picked my shit up. I was like, you know what, Amanda, if you have to stay in your car for a little bit, stay in your car, whatever. And I remember my brother calling me. I was like, yo, do you need me to come and help you clean out your shit out of your house like because I know it's hard to get down there and at that time there was dumping grounds people were emptying out all that house because all the sewage everything was filthy so much so I was like

Jose I don't even know where to start I don't even know where to start within minutes him his friends everyone um came down to help me but my brother was like you we're not gonna do this you're not gonna do this you're not gonna fall apart like this he's like get your shit together he's like where's that big mouth bitch that i know we love jose yeah he's like he's like who the fuck is this he's like who i don't even know what is this what are you doing here yeah i'm like mommy won't come back he's like he's like okay and she's disappointed us all the time this is not new i'm like okay he's like let's go you can't fall apart like this you're 22 years old you have your whole life ahead of you right you out of your mind so sure enough i stood with him for two weeks still with my

stepfather for two weeks because i felt bad i felt like I was being a burden on my brother. Like, I don't know, because he was a single guy. You know, I was like, you don't need your sister being here. Well, and I think you're used to just having your independence with your mom, you know, like you guys were girls. It's hard living. Yes. I saw stuff. I just. Yeah. You know, she said I saw stuff. stuff I just yeah you know she said I saw stuff yeah like no I'm good yeah questions with towels or towels were questionable oh no guys are gross single dudes are disgusting I just I just I'm good on that so you know I stood with my stepdad for a little bit that didn't end well at all because um after the whole sandy thing happened my mom running away or whatever it is that she fucking did um i had my first um panic attack totaled my car on the way to my job which i don't work there anymore but that place was a whole nother story my boss was cursing me out because i'm late on the phone and I destroyed smashed my car okay I don't even know how I made it out of

that because I I was like an accordion in between two cars oh my goodness wow and I I don't even know what happened next thing I know I'm in an ambulance and they're saying at the hospital that I had a full blown panic attack and that was my first and my blood pressure I had I randomly had high blood pressure out of nowhere so that that condition was fun I had to go to cardiologists I had like these brain test things to make sure it wasn't like seizures or anything like that my father couldn't handle it between the car accident everything he's like i can't he's like i'm in a place right now where i'm trying to get my mental health together right because the shit the shit fucked me up too right yeah he's like your mother put me through shit he's like and

now i'm going through shit with the kid too yeah yeah he's like i can't do this Amanda you gotta go oh you gotta go I was like are you kidding me you're kicking me out he's like I'm not with your mother anymore you're not my problem oh that's hurtful I was like okay that's twice twice so what I what I did was I completely cut them off was that the right thing to do probably not but it's the way I protected myself your peace yeah and then every so often like I would try to reach out try to fix it and it would just backfire backfire like and then when I got pregnant so let's let's rewind real quick so you all this is going on where's Joey in the midst of all this oh we were just talking okay but he's

seen he's seen like me try to fix it so i'm getting there okay i'm getting gotcha it's still new gotcha so i ended up getting my own place you know and i was living out of my car for a little bit nobody knew i would go like into mcdonald's brush my teeth, like do like the Puerto Rican showers in the kitchen, in the bathroom sinks, you know, make sure the doors were locked. I did what I had to do. I did what I had to do. So I saved up enough money to get my own place. Um, it was a cute little place. I, you know, um, like one of those side, like it was attached to a semi, like the side door. So I can go out right on the little patio that i have had my little cup of coffee like it was my own little sanctuary yeah

where were you working oh i worked at this little doctor's office yeah yeah so um i'm a medical assistant okay so um that was fun hey at least you have it was urolog. I worked in your, wow. At least you have the work ethic though. I feel like girls like us that come from such chaotic backgrounds, you either go to work at the moment. I had my work in papers, 14 years old. My parents made me get a job at fat burger. Okay. That was my first job. Fat burger. I worked at Perkins. Is that a restaurant? Yeah. Okay. It's like the green, the green. Yeah. Okay. I know exactly what you're talking about. I started out as a hostess and and i was a waitress i did all that too yeah i worked at chili's i worked at shoney's oh see yeah but i feel like girls like us you either go one of two

ways you either just completely give up and just don't know how to function or you go into super hyper vigilant independence and it's survival survival yeah i i didn't want to repeat my my my my mother's mistakes i didn't want to be a disappointment for someone else right absolutely yeah so i had to put myself back together whether you were trying to break generational curses even when you didn't realize it i didn't know at the time yeah i definitely didn't know i was just trying to survive like i just i i just wanted to be find peace i'm still at that point like i just want peace right i just want peace like peace is priceless and i think a lot of people don't realize how how much it means to have peace in your heart you know there's so many angry fucking just miserable humans in the world

and they're okay with being. But my heart breaks for them. Unwell, you know. My heart breaks for them. Yeah. We'll get to that. Yeah. It's sad, but I'm sorry.

I'm like sidetracking. No, you're good. That's my job is to keep everybody on track. I'm trying not to cry again. I'm like a cry baby on this. Hold on, let me check. Hold on one second. No, it's okay.

Stop. No, I got you. So that's when I decided like, you know, all right, maybe let me give this a shot. All right. Because after I got married, I'm like, okay. Like I started seeing Joey and how he is with his family. And like, they're such amazing, beautiful people. And like seeing the bond that he has with his family and like they're such amazing beautiful people and like seeing the bond that he has with his parents i was like you know what maybe maybe i can rekindle

this you know maybe i maybe there's somewhere i can fix it i can try and be present for both parents number one they constantly talk shit about each other so that and now it is like it's like just fucking get along you guys are you like my mom would be mad that i was talking to my dad and my mom would be like how could you talk to him after everything he did to me i'm like mom but you you stood there but you stood throughout the whole you made it me you made it me you stood there you stood with him for how long what am i supposed to pretend he doesn't exist right like it's my fucking dad. You know, that's all I know. He's my father.

Yeah. He's my father. That's my dad. You expect me not to say, what do you like? What about all the shit you did to me? Yeah. And you know what? Granted, I was not the best child because I don't want to paint this picture like these

horrible parents. I wasn't the best child either. Well, you are a product of your environment. Absolutely. Absolutely. the best child either well you are a product of your environment absolutely absolutely like i would i was 15 years old with fake 21 year old ids going into avalon in manhattan well not avalon but i was fake id'd up and drinking in clubs at 15 i left home at 14 so yeah you kind of get yeah you understand you know so oh how long did you and joey date for before you guys hopped in the marriage were

you guys together for a long time or did it just happen like we were together for a good four years i believe okay we got married or three years something like that i'm bad with timing yeah so like i wouldn't say three years we were together um we broke up for six months like in between that so when we first started dating we were dating for like six months and then we broke up like a full like year and then um we dated other people and we ended up just coming back to each other you know it just didn't feel right yeah did you um just to rewind real quick did you um deal with the eating disorder growing up or did that come after i'm getting to that okay awesome i'm

getting to that so um that's part of like the my mom also had an eating disorder so i feel like that that's the only thing i control and it kind of, it helps me kind of feel close to her. It's something you guys shared. It's a trauma, a shared trauma. Oh, yeah. And even like living together, I think, when it was just me and her, it was whenever all the bullshit between her and my dad were over.

We bonded. We were wearing each other's clothes. And we were like the same weight. It would be on the scale, off the on the scale off the scale and we validated each other too it was so unhealthy so it's just where it's just best if we're not not it's just we're not good together right was it anorexia bulimia anorexia yeah sure yeah anorexia, bulimia? Anorexia, for sure. Yeah. Anorexia, for sure. I feel like everybody in our era is either bulimic or anorexia or a little bit of both. Oh, yeah.

It was just also the time, too. The models back then were fucking rail thin. It was just crazy. Everything in that whole era of growing up was just eating. Well, my mother would tell me, if you ever got fat i would slap you like she would she would look at other like moms with their daughters and you know if the daughters were overweight she would turn to me and make a comment you know but i don't i don't think i think that she was projecting right you know she's definitely projecting i just wanted to touch based on that because i know that you're very vocal about that oh 100 yeah 100 yeah so you and joey

dated for four years yeah so oh yeah so then and then we got we got married in vegas we didn't elope though it was planned oh that's my hometown you know the canyons yeah what time of year was this because it's fucking hot as fuck out there oh yeah so it we got married june 24th and it was it was very hot but it's dry heat right and i had a pixie cut i didn't give a shit what my hair looked right so because i had no hair right like annie lennox it was fabulous i love annie me too she's an icon dude yeah I love her and I had red hair it was bright bright red I love that yeah and I had this plain little dress like no jewels no nothing just a short little white cocktail dress Joey was dressed in linen from head to toe oh it was wonderful yeah it was beautiful and then after that we went to hard rock hotel and had

margaritas at the pool party yeah it was amazing you know hard rock's not there anymore i know crazy right virgins right yeah but i was just telling her about that that's like that's my hometown that's where i grew up so when i go back and i'm just that makes a lot of sense yeah that everybody always says that yeah it just clicks for me yeah so much because you know what is i frequent there well before my son i before i had my son joey and i used to go to two three four times a year i'm a frequent at the well i was a frequent at the crazy horse oh yeah okay the crazy horse two or crazy horse three crazy horse three okay gotcha yeah yeah yeah so um oh i love me a good stripper. Yeah. I love strippers too.

I was one for fucking 11 years. One of them even taught me how to fold the dollar, like how to fold the bills. Yeah. She goes, no, you got to do it like this. And yeah, strippers are some of the coolest bitches you'll ever meet. There's an occasional fucking scallywag. But other than that, they're all about their money. And they're all about women.

One time I handed my drink to a stripper. I'm like, listen, I'm going to go to the bathroom. She just sat there in her baby tassels. Like, all right, I'll get back at you in there. Aw, that is sweet. I love it. Listen, I would never judge anybody who's making their bank, making their coin. Yeah.

Mommy, you're happy doing what you're doing? Yeah. You feel confident? You get up on that stage. I love it. Yeah. I wish I had that. I don't have that.

Yeah. But you'd be the rock star that you are i love that i danced for a really long time but i danced in the era where it wasn't cool to be a stripper so i went through a lot of hell for that i think it's so powerful yeah it is it is literally you take your power back a lot of women who are sexually abused become uh sex workers and that's our form of taking our power back is you know saying fuck you to the man literally like yeah you abused me when I was little well guess what I'm gonna abuse you now so yeah I totally totally rock that shtick um so let's get back to you and Joe you guys got married you guys fucking when did we travel you traveled for a while how long have you guys been married for now um we're together a full total of 12 years married for uh eight or seven i'm really bad with timing

12 years is admirable yeah nobody fucking stays together anymore so i think that's really cool that it wasn't always easy yeah oh no i hasn't had my husband seven years i get it i put him through shit because of all the trauma like i took out so much let me tell you something that man has so much fucking patience oh so much patience he's seen things that people would have fucking packed up their shit and like, no, bitch, you got too many fucking problems. But he really loves you. That's your person. Your person is going to fucking be with you through the good, the bad and the ugly.

Absolutely. I wouldn't want to be with somebody who just wants to be with me when everything's fucking great. He's seen it all. He's seen it all from my mom leaving me high and dry. Like throughout all of that, we were talking and the only thing i lied to him about was staying in my car which i don't know if he hears this sorry babe yeah so that's the only thing i well that's your pride though you know like you don't want to tell somebody that you were oh yeah i was embarrassed i mean i'm not embarrassed of it now because it happens and

i'm not the only one that's ever it happens everyone has a story absolutely everyone has a story it's just how you will let it affect you and how you project onto the world and how you use it to help people absolutely yeah absolutely absolutely so I didn't have a child till I was 30 we waited we traveled I went to Mexico I feel like you did everything right I tried like you really did I tried I wanted to not be anything like my mother right and i i fought tooth and nail to make sure that that never happened i'm proud of you thank you you did really good like just listening to your story that is that makes me so proud of you because you could have really gone a totally oh yeah yeah i mean it the journey wasn't perfect though I had some bumps here and there but

I tried my hardest to be not a nice person but just a good person you know and I'm I think throughout the whole time too I'm such like I'm so hard on myself I can give you advice I can give you the best advice but I can never take my own you know it's tough it's tough and I'm still I'm still learning and navigating this shit every day just when I think I have life down pat it comes in like no you don't hold my beer yeah like fucking curveball trust me yeah yeah so I became whatever so I became a mom and that's like a whole rigmarole of like fears that i didn't even know existed because now my heart exists outside my body and it's like whoa holy shit you just created a human being that you can't live without and now you're gonna send him out

into the world yeah now i i then i was diagnosed with postpartum anxiety and I got delusional and I was afraid to leave my house with him because I I thought all these crazy things were gonna happen were you ever diagnosed with anything before then no generalized anxiety after I after I had my son poor baby Mimi actually went through a terrible postpartum with her son also. I think, I feel like women need to talk more about that. Yeah. It happened after I was done breastfeeding. That's tough. That is a lot of stuff to go through in such a know it's um it's heavy I want to get up and hug you I just feel I normally don't get out I try to let my guests feel but I just want to come give you a hug you're doing so good I'm so proud of you you're doing so good your story is really going to touch somebody and help somebody

thank you thank you for letting me come here this is amazing dude i'm so happy you're here and i know it's hard but i just you know i want you to know i'm really fucking proud of you so throughout that whole thing we're at the hospital. My boss comes to visit me, who she's fucking amazing. I didn't have my mom, so I called her one day. And I was like, really? I was at the hospital, and I was waiting for the discharge or, you know, to get discharged. And I was like, I don't think I can do this. And driving back and forth, we cross a bridge all the time and I was

there at the hospital by myself Joey went to work and I was like what if I I contemplated on it you know it would be quick it would be easy you know because I'm not fit for this like I can't do this I think I think this is my breaking point you contemplated driving off of the bridge just no just pulling over and jumping you know i thought about it and then i'm like no no no no no i immediately withdrew i'm like no no what the fuck are you doing no absolutely not absolutely not because then who's going to take care of this baby no nobody's nobody's fit for this part other than you this is god put this here for a reason right he chose you to be his mom for a reason. So you were contemplating jumping off the bridge when you were driving over it and you were just feeling so overwhelmed in that moment.

Absolutely. Because I just wanted to not feel anything. Yeah, it was a lot. I mean, it's like I and I also I'm like, when do I get a break? Like, I just want to go home and enjoy my baby. Like, why are you doing this to me? And you're dealing with all the fucking postpartum emotions. Yeah. And it's just like, I don't, I'm like, I'm, I was like literally talking to God in my head and I'm like, all right, you gave me the shit with the parents. I get it.

Like, okay. But like enough already. Right. All right. I get it. Life is hard. You don't need to do this to me. Like I've had enough. I don't want any already. Right. All right. I get it. Life is hard. You don't need to do this to me. Like I've had enough.

I don't want any more. Yeah. I've had many of those moments. I'm here. Okay. I get it. I have faith. I've learned my lesson.

I don't need any more. That's what I felt. So I'm thinking like who can talk some sense into me? Nobody other than my boss. Because she will tell it like how it is. Right. She came to visit me. She's like, but you got this.

You got this. You've been through worse. You've been through worse. She's like, you got this. You can't run away from this. She's like, didn't your mom run away from you? And that clicked. I'm like, no, this is enough.

I'm not going to be weak from here absolutely not and when i was staying at the hospital i wasn't eating that's the only thing that like you could control yeah because i was feeling so much that feeling empty in my stomach felt good it felt good you were almost it's like a form of self-harm oh yeah absolutely and I but I felt powerful and it was a delusional powerful because I was just my son didn't deserve that version of me he didn't deserve that portion of me so when I got home I had you know him and uh I forgot how I found TikTok yeah I forgot So this is really kind of recent that this is all unfolding. Oh, yeah.

When did you have him? I had him. He's only three. He's a peanut. So he's a baby baby. He's a peanut. I don't know why I thought he was like six for some reason. That's why I was like freaking out to be here.

Like this is my first time away from him. No. I never. And I'm on the plane. I'm like, I'm going to die. And my kid's at home. home no you need that though you need that mama time i know this is really good this is new i'm dunking my toes in the water you got this mama yeah and you're gonna go home with like a set of fresh eyes and be so i feel better already yeah you're for sure good you're gifted bitch i love you

you're like a hi now, bitch. No, no, no, no. I heard that plenty of times. I'm just so happy that you guys trust me with your stories. Like literally that's what I'm here for is to just show people the human behind the screen. You know, you want to have something even more wild. Is that okay? Let me just, before I skip all over because of my ADHD, I can't so um I forgot how I found TikTok I think one of my girlfriends actually it was probably Jen she's scrolling scrolling at work and she's doing all these things she's like look at this dance look at look at and she talks about her son because we're like mom friends you know our kids play together so um she's like wait look at

this dance look at that and ba ba ba i'm like what the hell is this go down let me get let me give me your phone give me your phone you don't have tiktok get the fuck out of here that's how mimi was with tiktok i refused i was like i am not fucking dancing yeah i'm not getting on tiktok but it made me happy right right right right it was your outlet fun i'm like oh and then i came across who was it janelle rona and she was eating bell peppers and cream cheese and it like it brought me back to a safe i have like you know i have these it's so stupid i have safe foods while i had had because of recovery is it never goes away oh no i know yeah i to this day have a hard time eating bread yeah yeah so my safe foods

were egg salad with in bell peppers with hearts covered in hot sauce and i'm like oh you know what you do love your sauces i love watching you eat because you will just i don't give a shit i just accumulate calories and sauce alone i love it though because i was so restricted my stepmom wouldn't let me have sauces i was never allowed to have sauces so watching you is kind of like satisfying for me because i grew up the opposite way where i wasn't allowed to so when i watch you i'm like that is i feel like when i'm eating like it's i don't i try to battle this thought because the thoughts never go away they just they just become whispers yeah if that makes any sense no totally so I feel like I'm doing something naughty you know like yeah I love that no I love it now every time you pour sauce I'm like oh you naughty girl yeah

yeah like I feel like do it baby do it yeah I feel like I'm being bad you know I love it so um I'm like oh I can do this you know what this her putting cream cheese on bell peppers and the bagel seasoning and you know she's in the medical field and she's beautiful and i'm like oh you know what this girl's crushing it she brought peace to me i'm like you know what i want to do that for somebody you know maybe i can and i didn't think it would land here though i was doing like the little dances I'm like I can't dance okay I can talk though I can talk so and I would make my little iced coffees in the morning and you know talk to I felt it made me feel like I wasn't alone during that time right I was just it was a creative outlet for you yeah yeah and it was a space of my own outside of my marriage outside of being a mom

outside of I you know being a medical assistant outside of being a mom, outside of, you know, being a medical assistant, outside of being a friend, it was just something for me. Yeah. You know, like this was, and my friends were making fun of me, you know, like, what, look at this girl. Like, what are you doing? You're doing another TikTok? How did you, how did you come up with the name Auntie Amanda? Oh, my followers started calling me that. Okay, gotcha. Yeah, yeah. Also, I do have, Oh, my followers started calling me. OK, gotcha. Yeah.

Yeah. Also, I do have I have six nieces and well, I have three nephews, three nieces. Oh, six all together. So I am a real auntie. Yeah. You know, but people in the comments would be like because I would do like the come eat with me, you know, and I would, you know, unbox my Chinese food or whatever it is that I was eating. And I would just talk about, you know, things from my childhood memories.

You know, the first time I got made fun of in class or like, you know, just funny little stories here and there. It was comforting for me. Also, it kept me accountable for eating every single day, showing up, you know, that was my way of showing up. But I think that's really beautiful for people to know that though. Like, not only are you trying to help people, but just having a TikTok, like people are always like, Oh, creators are so full of themselves, not realizing that there really is a story behind what's going on. Like you're trying to help your own eating disorder by showing up every day and eating on camera. And people don't even know that that's going on. No, no, it's really beautiful. Thank you. Yeah. And but I didn't

think that it would touch so many people as the thing. Yeah. You know, I know. It's funny, like when I go places and women come up to me sometimes a lot of times older than me and I'm taken back and they're like, you you got me through you know i lost my husband or you know i was recently had a surgery and your your videos i watched them you know uh you know and the recovery bed and it it gave me something to look forward to because i can always come to your page and i know you post you know you're you're trying dunkin donuts coffee like i can live vicariously through you you know when i'm going through dark times and i can't be present for myself right you know it's it i i i love that i can that my stupidity can be a sense of somebody's comfort it's relatable yeah

we're all fucking we all have a little bit of stupidity in us and i just yeah exactly and i just once they they deemed me the Auntie Amanda I was like what am I gonna do with this character now like just be myself I guess but I started to develop this like I do these POVs you know point of views where I talk to the camera as if I'm talking to my niece my nephew or a friend or somebody that I'm comforting I try to be that person that I wanted as a child. That's awesome. That just gave me goosebumps. It's crazy because you and Mama Tot really do help so many people, you know, and it's because you guys had so much trauma as children that you just said it perfect that you show up on camera as somebody that you wanted as a child.

Or the friend that I needed right during those times and I didn't have it yeah that's how that's what I try to emulate when I'm recording you know people like oh it's funny because like my friends in my real life will be like oh you know how do you do this and I'm like no no you don't understand this is not I'm not acting this is one shot if I don't get it then I got him on to the next idea i don't this is not well calculated that's probably what gets me in a lot of trouble sometimes too though right maybe my some of my stuff would be like less offensive or people i feel like you could wear it's like i tell people because people are always calling me names for how i dress and stuff

like that i could wear girl i could wear a fucking turtleneck and somebody's still gonna call me a whore it doesn't matter like every year there's somebody's gonna be pissed off about something yeah you know like nobody told my husband yeah hasn't the same thing yeah I told my husband this dude thing because he he's very protective of course and I get that and this is he's older this is an you know how much older is joey than you we're 10 years apart okay gotcha yeah so um you know it's it's different the internet was different for him back then yeah you know i think it was more safe chat rooms yeah me too that was my era also how old's joey is he 42 oh i'm 42 really yeah he's 44 okay yeah yeah so that's that was my era aol chat rooms and like i was my space yeah me too i did my space too yeah i was doll parts on my space i love that

yeah that's hot i've always uh one thing about me is i've always morphed with the times you know so that's how i've always kept my following is just to always morph with the times with the adaptive queen yeah hello hold on let me get my accent hello is that good my auntie amanda accent so dude how many followers do you have like four point um 4.3 and growing that's a lot of motherfuckers that you're responsible to entertain every day it's not easy right that's my next question i get chewed up and spit out some days i'm like whoa girl we all do these people are just it's the other day i you it was so crazy that you had posted that because literally on my backup account i was like the trolls are fucking rampant today like it was like i don't know if it's because cern was turned on or whatever the fuck happened but school just ended yeah it was correct I was like what is happening so I have

my backup account too but on my backup account I have literally so many different I have a different following than I do on my main account so my main account is like you know I get trolls all the time too but it's like my safe place and then I go over to my fucking backup account and it's like holy shit like who are you what the fuck just happened so when you posted that like god are the trolls in full force today i was like yes yes they are like it got that how does that make you feel every day too i know we talk about the good but we're also gonna have to talk you know just touch on the bad too it's okay we're allowed yeah of course it's like so part of the territory my thing is is these people are just so they want to rip people apart it doesn't matter i get called a liar everything that comes out of my mouth is a lie my accent's fake if i do a video and my the tone of my voice is slightly different they're like oh you're faking it it's fake and it's like

at this point I just like you're from fucking New York like how is your accent fake your mother is from the Bronx I know it's just but I don't say I didn't this is nobody knows my story I've never sat down and like did this you're the first you pop my cherry bitch yeah oh I like it don't listen I get excited don't talk dirty to me because that is right up my alley I get so excited no but no this is I've never okay and told my story gotcha so nobody knows that you know I just hope that after your story does come out people can start to realize that you're really you're just you're not out here trying to fucking hurt anybody you're trying to heal people and you're really you're just you're not out here trying to fucking hurt anybody you're trying to heal people and you're trying to heal yourself you know do the trolls

ever get to you does it ever bother you because i used to yeah i know i feel because i never understood why right you know like why are you so fucking hateful yeah but at this point it's like i'm just reading words i don't know their faces. So it doesn't hold any space. I can't respect it if you can't say it from your chest. If you don't have a fucking profile pic or a fucking somewhat of a little bit of a. Oh, no, but how many profiles do you need to make? Like, how many times have I got to block you?

OK, I get it. You don't like me. OK, good. I'm still going to post every fucking day. Yeah. What do you want from me? Yeah. All right.

You think I'm a liar. Cool. All right. Thank you right I don't even know how that website is even in business because it is so toxic I don't I listen I twice right right twice I'm like oh this is scary it is scary yeah it is scary that you know what scares me is the fact that people are struggling mentally like I was just about to say that it It breaks my heart. It's mental illness over there. And everybody battles with mental illness. I'm not pointing fingers. I battle with mental illness.

No, no. It's not a joke. But this is a cesspool of people who are projecting their issues onto other people. Instead of trying to heal, they're literally trying to just tear people apart yeah but i like the ones that like they're like you know i've had people apologize yeah you know i'm so sorry i was in a dark place like and you know i don't know why i did and i feel like it's cool you're still welcome here yeah you're still welcome here i get comments all the time there was a time i couldn't stand you and i now i feel bad i'm like listen i'm not for everybody yeah i'm not everybody's cup of tea but then again i don't fucking like tea anyway yeah i'd rather be the shot of whiskey

i'd rather be a truly you know like i love it all i get it no but i just feel like you know as creators we open ourselves up so much to everybody online that. They feel entitled almost. Exactly. And it's like, we don't, you have to forget, like, yes, you know me, but I don't know you. So there has to be like some kind of. Yeah. Like common.

I'm a real person. I'm not a doormat or like an inanimate object that doesn't. Like I'm a real person. And then when you fight back like i've had a couple times where i've kind of like i've done i've done gotten sassy yeah yeah and then they get mad it's like they don't want to talk about poking the bear but then when the bear finally fucking growls it's like oh what was me i i you know i can't believe she said that and it's just like no motherfucker like you have literally been fucking stalking me for fucking

six months i finally clapped back and now all of a sudden you you're the victim yeah oh yeah and like um oh gosh please i i've been accused of so much shit isn't it crazy when you read stuff about yourself that you didn't even know um there's so much hate there's just so much hate in this world that i would feel like a horrible human adding to it right and and the thing is too like i think that they found their place of belonging like they've never belonged to a group so they're creating it so they created this safe space of hatred and even though it's toxic they still feel like they belong to something because they never belong to anything outside of it right you know and that's why it's just so toxic and so bad and i just like i said i don't understand how the website's even up it's just crazy to me like how is that legal to just have people on there fucking

just with wrong accusations yeah attacking children posting pics of children's faces and stuff on there that i've seen like it's crazy i crazy. I've never seen that. Yeah, I have. Like, like I said, I've I've twice. Yeah. You know, I didn't know that the page existed until like another influencer. I've never read your page. I follow one that's like I don't even want to give it clout. I'm not even going to say the name on there. But I follow one that's like all TikTok because I just always want to know if I ever come across there, you know, so I know what's going on. And they're just crazy. Like, it doesn't matter who it is on TikTok. They just talk shit about every fucking body that's on the app. Oh, no, I know. No, I know. But my point is, is that there's just so much hatred in the world and that it just shouldn't be like that, you know?

That's what I think about. Let's talk about the let's talk about the fart controversy that you just went through oh my god I can't believe I never knew a fart would bother somebody so much and so many people I don't understand like this is not new I've done this on my platform before right like that there was a video I did last year I'm coming out of work I'm in my scrubs and I was holding in a fart during my shift and I knew it was gonna be loud and I know it was gonna be deadly because I had tacos the night before right yeah so and I think I even like I was doing the taco boats and bell peppers and yeah so I was holding it and holding it and holding it and I'm like how funny would

it be like I can't be the only one that does this so i'm gonna record it so here i am in my car i'm like oh like i you know i'm like guys i'm so glad to be out of work i was holding this in for so long like and i just you know and then but that video got hits and people like oh my god this is funny oh and they were sharing their stories like one time everybody farts one time i did that and one time and i crack up reading the comments i'm like oh my god see this is but it brings people laughter other people read those comments and like oh you know they have a good laugh about it it's fun it brings people together absolutely i have the i have the humor of a 12 year old boy right that will never change okay i'm 34 that will never change i was just telling her on the way here i am forever 16

in my brain yeah i love when i meet like 22 year old people and they're still like, well, mature. I wish I had that, but I'm just such trash. Like I love it. I love trash. Yeah, I love trash. I'm trash too. I love it. I love it.

But I also love the queens that can keep their, we love the composed queens too. We don't judge. We don't judge. We love a multifaceted queen. Yes, we're very accepting yeah yeah i love that for us so but oh my god so then i came across jill jill foods or jill eats i can't remember but she's from long island wonderful woman like has a beautiful family and she does fart content no that's her i gotta go look her up i don't even know who she is hilarious she's so funny but harmless fun and she's like she does

she does like food tasting and stuff like that she's just funny yeah um but she gets ripped to shreds a lot i'm like you know what i feel bad like i can let me join in on this, you know? So I, she, I think I friend requested her. We followed each other back. We talked and I'm like, listen, I'm going to duet some of your videos. Like, is that okay? You know, she's like, yeah, it would be an honor. You're fucking amazing. I'm like, stop that.

I'm a regular person. I think, you know, just she's from, she's from Long Island. I wanted to show support, you know? So I dueted some of her videos and then i did a video of mine but like it didn't really have i that wasn't my intention to car to start that whole drama like i genuinely really had to fight and it just slipped out i was bending over and i just woke up i was making a cup of coffee and I was like oh well and I'm not gonna stop the video just because I fired like whatever right so I was like and I even said sorry on the video I'm like oh sorry next thing I know I'm getting tagged to high heaven like later on throughout the day and this is a woman that I follow and I really enjoyed

her content is the thing I didn't understand where all this was coming from. And she would comment like certain things like about my weight because her and I are the same height. And I don't care. I'll say my weight openly. It took me a while to own it, so I'm going to own it. I'm 135. Okay, I'm 4'11".

Yeah, it's fine. Not big at all. No, but for somebody with an eating disorder that's hard right no I get that you know but if anybody could shame me for that like that's crazy and I was you saw it for yourself I was 98 to I was 98 to 110 pounds between there right when I first started my content if you go to my very first video you see I'm a pencil stick thin yeah so I remember like she would make like weird comments so this was like a long time coming and I never addressed I never said anything like I'm like because sometimes I could

take things wrong and I can I act out of emotion I know how I am no I get it I'm very aware of right you know so I'm like no maybe I'm being dramatic it's just you can read text differently right like it's you know yeah absolutely then when she did that video, I'm like, oh, Miss Thing wants to get spicy. Okay. So no hate, no nothing. No, I have no hard feelings at all. I think the whole thing is hilarious. Have you ever had other creators come for you too?

Oh, God. Really? I had the whole internet come after me. Not just over the fart thing, but just other things. Other things. No, I mean like other fellow creators. I feel like us as creators, we should never be coming for each other.

But you know what? I'm guilty of it. I'm guilty of it. Calling people out. Yeah. I mean, I don't like it anymore because I see what it feels like. Right.

And it's a lesson learned. It's a lesson learned. It's a lesson learned. But at least you're woman enough to admit that. Absolutely. I'm not perfect. I fucked up a lot. I think that's amazing. In the past two and a half years i've been on this platform i fucked up a whole lot well we're all learning how to navigate this got thrown to me i have no

you know i was i come from low class uh new brighton like no money no nothing like i this was thrown to me this was thrown into my lap but you know what for as long as i have it i'm gonna ride this bitch till the wheels fall off absolutely you know so we were blessed with a platform for a reason and i guess i don't know why but i'm gonna because you're a good human and you deserve it and this is your break this is where god is like you know what i've put you through so much shit. You've been through so much shit. Here's a reward for fucking doing the right thing. I mean, like, yes, we are all fucked up. We've all had to figure out things, but you really did things like the right way, like growing up and, you know, always held a job and, you know,

dated for four years, didn't have kids right away. Like you really fucking did the right thing. What kind of opportunities do you feel like TikTok has given you? Oh my God. I've spoken to people that I only dreamt of having conversations with. I don't want to name drop. No, you don't have to. I don't like that. But people that I've watched on YouTube, like back when YouTube dropped,

these influencers follow me. They know who I am now. And I'm like, you don't understand. You guys got me through times when I felt alone. Like I would just watch like makeup videos because it brought me peace. Yeah. And I would watch them as I was,

you know, not mimicking what they do. Cause I can't do makeup for shit. And I own that too. So I have a makeup artist. She was not here today. So, but yeah,

no, trust me. I wish I could do what those bitches do, man. It's art. It's literally art. And they're so beautiful. And I failed art class.

So I can't, there's no fucking way I can do it. They are so beautiful. Yeah, they're so beautiful. They do shit I've never even seen before. But there's, there's like certain makeups,

the imprimas, like you could, you can't mix certain, there's oil base and water base i learned i didn't even know thank you michaela i love her she's so cute right it's she so is she from new york too because i know the accent she's from boston okay yeah she's from boston yeah um but i spoke i've spoken to people that I would never even dream of. First of all,

I talk to people and I'm like, I'm like, how do you even know I exist? Like, yeah. Are you kidding? You watch me? 4 million fucking people.

A lot of people know you exist, but it doesn't feel like real. Yeah. So when I'm out, like, um, when I'm out and about and people come up to me and some of them, some of these women are like shaking,

giving me hugs, like crying. And I'm like, it's not, I don't think it'll ever sit in. Yeah. I get that. I was talking to another influencer via FaceTime and I was just, you know, we're having a conversation, blah, blah, blah. And she's like, I don't think you really get it. Do you?

You're like, you're bitch. You're the shit. And I'm like, and to me, my shit smells just like everyone else. Right. I'm just a regular person, you know, with a platform,

but I'm a regular person. I still work my regular job. So you do still work? Yeah. My life didn't, I didn't allow it to change me. Right. I didn't allow it to change who I was.

I'm not going to all of a sudden have manners and start chewing with my mouth closed because uh I got a blue check mark next to my name speaking of how the fuck did you get verified on TikTok because I have so much shit to get verified I'm verified on Instagram I'm verified everywhere I want to get verified on Instagram I'm dying we might need to trade notes because I need to figure out how to get verified on TikTok because it is crazy I definitely got you yeah I got you on the Instagram thing so we we'll just swap. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I got you. That's not that's easy peasy stuff. I got you. So where are you hoping, you know, what's in store for Auntie Amanda for the next year? Like, where are you hoping this takes you? What do you want to do? I literally don't know. I take it day by day. I'm not a planner. Yeah. I'm not like even this podcast.

Right. I've texted you on the web. Like I gave you a month in advance because I know you, you know, you have a beautiful staff and stuff. But like and I know that you're busy. Jelly Roll's busy, you know, and the fact that I'm even. Daddy Roll. Yeah.

I'm the fact that I'm even like I'm talking to his wife is insanity. Oh, daddy would have been here here but he is at a boy's party no i don't he i don't wouldn't even know how to act if he was here i'd probably be singing save me it wouldn't be the first person who's done that but no you would that song hits home for me oh yeah and i oh let me tell you something when i realized that you followed me bitch i was like what i love you as soon as you shared that and then i think there was like a little bit of controversy because you know like when you're looking for sounds um the chucky sound when you're looking for sounds yeah so i had seen a video that you did and i was like oh i could do that but i'm gonna put my own

twist on it with the chucky costume, stuff like that. So I didn't think anything of it. So what? Your fucking army came for me. I didn't know that. Guys, I don't appreciate that. I don't know. It's OK.

Because listen, I know my I know my I know they're down for me, but I don't condone in that. No, it's fine. It all worked out because I really was just like, bro, I was not sure you wore it better. Trust me. No, no, no, no, not at all. and it wasn't even about that but I was like oh this is cute okay I'll just put my own spin on it you know because that's what we all do on TikTok but that's TikTok hello TikTok was musically they're like you need to tag auntie amanda and auntie amanda was the original and blah blah blah and I was just like oh my I was like I didn't know like

calm down everybody calm down like people get so upset like you need to tag the original person and i was just like bro i learned my lesson okay sorry i will never do it again yeah so like when i did dimps's kick the other day i tagged her i was like thank you for letting me uh borrow your kick for five seconds i did a kick when i showed up these boots and people like oh yeah she's trying to be dense yeah you know we're all friends behind the scenes right like we all conversate entertain yeah but um there's a whole nother wall where we all talk to each other we're all aware and we all share what you guys say about us yeah no for sure so i was just so happy that you and i could connect and i'm so happy that you came on the podcast and people are actually going to get to hear your

story like that is what makes me that makes me nervous no but why it's such a beautiful story thank you it's more room for judgment and criticism fuck them it's like i told jay dude the other day when she was on the podcast i am jay it was like no matter what we do we're gonna fucking get talked shit about so it's like let's fucking live our lives for the people who don't talk shit about us you know i'm numb to it now yeah i mean you have i joke i laugh and joke about it because it's like, let's fucking live our lives for the people who don't talk shit about us. You know, I'm numb to it now. Yeah. I mean, you have to. I laugh and joke about it because it's that's that's this is, you know, you're an influencer

too. I can. It feels normal to joke. We have to joke about these things. We don't. I mean, you can't take life too serious. None of us get out alive anyways. Right.

So it's like, what the fuck are we all so upset about right now? You know, like we're living our lives. We're fucking bringing smiles to people's faces every day. And if you guys. For me, I don't know how it is for you. But for me, the hate is just like the 1%. Yeah, that's exactly how it is for me, too. Now, I don't like when people come for my husband.

You know, I know people can. We were talking about this earlier. Like you guys can come for me all day long. I don't give a fuck. I'll turn it into money. I'll make it content, whatever. I still make some things about my husband um content too but like when you come from my daughter or you come from my uh husband that's when the gloves come off like i seriously can't fucking stand

that like kids should always be off limits period like they're i don't know what fucking era these motherfuckers grew up in but none of them are gangster you know like kids should always be off yeah family members but i just what i don't get is like what is the outcome of it yeah just misery all right because i'm like i'm still gonna show up every day yeah absolutely you're not gonna scare me off the platform you know like you can't scare me off the platform i've already been dragged or i've been dragged by a lot of fucking creators. Yeah. No, it's okay. No, it's all right.

I hate that though. It made me tough though. Yeah. It taught me about social media because there was a whole nother side to this that I'd never saw before. Wow. And now I'm like, wow,

now everything that I've ever watched other influencers go through, like emotionally crying on the on the kitchen floor. That's another Trisha. Even like she dragged me. No fucking way. Yeah. Really? The election.

Oh, OK. Gotcha. Yeah. She dragged me to high heaven. That's crazy. Because Trisha, of all people. And shout out, Trisha. I love you. You know, I love crazy because trisha of all people and shout out trisha i love you you know i love you bitch um trisha of all people she blocked me yeah really yeah that's crazy she's supposed to be coming on the podcast if she has the baby we'll we'll have to talk about

that yeah she blocked me and trisha i still love you us queens have to support each other man it doesn't are we all supposed to have the same opinion? Listen, I, it was, I was, I was like honored almost, but I feel like she is queen.

I don't know, but I feel like she has been drugged so much in her life and she also battles with mental illness. I know. I know. Listen, I, I,

I'm a little fishy. Well, I was a little fishy before she blocked me, but I'm a fishy, you know, I got, I've well i was a little fishy before she blocked me but i'm a fishy you know i got i've been watching i watched this since 2008 yeah i just feel like we we're not just because we all don't have the same opinion doesn't mean that we shouldn't listen not like each other we don't neither one not none of us in this room will ever experience life through the same perspective ever because we all live different stories absolutely we don't we don't different morals different lifestyles we will never walk the same path either even though you and I are that's the beautiful thing

about life right we took two different paths and we still ended up here together absolutely right how wild is full circle yeah no it's crazy. So who am I to sit and tell you based on everything you've ever been through in your life that you're wrong for your beliefs? Absolutely. I don't know what nobody nobody knows what's right and what's wrong in life. We just go through it hoping that we're doing the best that we can. Absolutely. So who the fuck am I to sit here and shove my beliefs down people's throat you don't believe what I believe in cool but we can still be friends exactly but we can still be friends we don't have to block each other we don't have to have any animosity I feel like if everybody

has the same opinion how fucking boring is that people come at me all the time and they're like I can't believe you're gonna have so-and-so on your podcast and I can't believe that you protect this person and I can't believe that you and I'm like if you're my girl you're my girl i don't care if you've fucked up i don't care what you did in your past yeah i don't care you know as long as you're not out fucking hurting babies and that's what i don't like too like when people are like l auntie amanda you support so and so i'm like no we're not gonna do that here exactly we're not gonna do that here yeah no You know why? Because I'm not perfect.

None of us are. And I'm sure because you're sitting, you're, you know, you're not under a magnifying glass or under a microscope. So it's easy to point out people's flaws when you're not under the microscope. Yep. Absolutely. You know? So no, we're not going to do that. You know why?

Because I've fucked up a thousand times. Yeah. I get it. I love women and I love powerful women. I love women who have a story. I love women who cry and are vulnerable in front of the world. I love women who have been through some shit. You know, I don't want somebody with pretty heart, a pretty face. I want somebody with a pretty heart. You know what I'm saying? So that's what I always tell people. And preach this on my platform you don't have to be a nice person you don't you know why I actually don't trust like the nicey nice and they they come they they everything's perfect yeah they shower you in the beginning no immediately I'm

like no I want somebody who's gonna be like listen you're doing a lot right now yeah and I love you just want somebody who's real yeah yeah I I surround myself with people that aren't afraid to tell me when to pull it back yeah yeah you can't be surrounded by yes men literally Mimi's on my ass all the time I'm always in trouble I love that I'm always in fucking trouble she's like you can't say that I'm like why yeah that's what I need yeah that's that's who I surround myself with. People that will, aren't afraid to be themselves that don't care about being themselves at all.

That don't, I love people that don't bring up social, my social media. I cling to those people. Yeah. People that you want, you don't know who I am. Hi.

Okay, cool. I want to talk to you. Oh yeah. Waitress yesterday. We went to bar, bar taco. She's like,

I'm sorry. I don't know who you are. I'm like, you don't have to i'm a nobody i'm on an app it's silly don't worry about it how are you doing how's your day you know ask mimi i would rather like when dim said last night that you guys were going to broad uh sorry i don't know if i'm allowed to say this um it's all right you're meeting up with dims after here to collab and i'm supposed to collab with you guys but everybody knows i have severe anxiety but also um you guys are going to Broadway on a Saturday night which is fucking I don't know what that's like yeah oh you deserve to have this Broadway experience and I'm so happy that you get to experience with Dempsey because I mean who else to experience

Broadway with than Dempsey um but as soon as she said that I was like I'm not fucking going down there I'm gonna get mauled by everybody like I have to go down there with security and I even told Dempsey that I'm there I'm like shaking oh yeah no like it's it's a lot it's a lot and I even told Mimi I was like they're going to Broadway I was like I cannot do that I would rather go to a fucking plate a hole in the wall where nobody knows anything so that we can like enjoy each other i won't even go out with my husband anymore because when we go out it just it flies on shit it turns into a meet and greet you know and we don't get to spend quality time with each other

and that's fine that is not i i come listen i'm not even a singer i don't even have any talent and i i understand no and but that's not me complaining we love the people that come up to us no but sometimes you don't want it right sometimes you want to feel like a nobody well exactly and that the end that's what you were saying is that you went you know the waitress last night didn't know who you were i love that i love that because i i wanted a break yes a minute like yeah how you doing let's talk about like you know she's a mom yeah she had a 14 year old daughter i'm like how was her prom and like did they do proms she's like yeah yeah you know everything's great she you know she's a mom yeah she had a 14 year old daughter i'm like how was her prom and like did they do proms she's like yeah yeah you know everything's great she you know she was so sweet yeah no i love that you ever eat there uh have we eaten at bar taco i'm not sure i don't i try to

avoid anywhere downtown at all costs i only go down there if my husband has a show this is on 12th ave that's near broadway that's near ish broadway yeah so i'm still learning here yeah no so i literally live probably about fucking uh okay six minutes away from here okay so i am in my own little bubble you know what good for you you deserve it but i'm excited for you guys are you guys gonna go out tonight and explore broadway and like get the whole fucking do you drink are you like a drinker or just stick to like what is truly anyways it's like um i don't know what it is but it's good i'm not really sure liquor is that what it is it's a malt liquor i didn't you know what i just i just took i just i just uh got what you just did there yeah it took me a minute i'm like i told you i am going

to have an accent by the time you leave here. I love that. You guys have got to go out on Broadway. You guys got to, if you get drunk, get drunk. I mean, you have to experience it. When I first moved here seven years ago, my husband would take me down there. Here's the thing. I did all that drunk partying at such a young age. That getting sloppy like that is not fun for me.

No, I hate the next morning. I feel it the next day, yeah. Oh, the next morning. I'm calling up my cousin, and my cousin's a nurse practitioner. sloppy like that is not fun for me no i hate the next morning oh the next morning it's like i'm calling up my cousin and my cousin's a nurse practitioner she's like i'm like listen can you set up one of those banana bags yes yes if you guys need one uh oh shit my guy is out of town but there is a place downtown i forget the name of it but if you guys do need one in the morning i'll let you know the name of the place you guys can go in the morning i'm nervous well to get

through broadway you're gonna have to drink yeah like i i couldn't imagine dealing now no don't be scared embrace it it's just it's literally you guys are gonna get so much good content and just can you say scared again scared scared scared scared scared is that what i said yeah it's cute because she pronounces her eyes and i i'm so envious my My jaw is so lazy. I try to force it and it looks sad. Because of your accent? Yeah. I love it though.

Like I'm like marshmallow. I love it. I could like listen to you talk all day. I used to be like that with my husband too and now I don't even hear his accent because I've been around him for so long. Oh yeah. When he talks he has an accent. That's right.

It's heavy. Yeah. I forgot. He has a hillbilly from way back. Yeah. He's like he's just so funny when you hear him talk. a story too and it's beautiful oh yeah no daddy it's such a beautiful story i know i wish you guys i'm so proud of him good me too i'm so proud of my husband yeah i tell everybody my husband is literally the closest thing to a walking angel

on earth i see it does not have a bad. Doesn't matter if somebody's fucking mean to him or fucking fucks him over. Like I'm the complete opposite. I'm so petty Betty and I wish I would stop. I'm the worst. Me too. But I'm like, no, you gotta be the person. I'm like, but that doesn't apply to me. Let me be the garbage person that I am. Right. My husband gets so mad at me sometimes because I'll, I react before I think and he is like he will think and never react and I'm like how do you do that I'm not teach me yeah no well a little bit but the thing is is he he's dealt with his trauma differently you know so he is the opposite of us because of what he's been through so but he's my husband is just little angel baby you guys

will get to meet him you'll get to meet him we'll have shows in new york too what part of new york are you in staten island so yeah we'll probably have shows up there like in jersey or something i can make it yeah well the shine down he's touring with shine down so uh we start that tour in when does that start maybe august, September. I don't fucking know. I never know what we're doing until like a week before. Yeah. I literally live life on a whim. I think we do have some New York dates.

But listen to this. Up until two days ago, she didn't know. We didn't know. I didn't remember times. I didn't know addresses. I know. I'm scrambling last minute. Joe's like, babe, where are you leaving out of i'm

like i think laguardia he's like what time's your flight i'm like i have no idea but you know what i'll look i'll check tomorrow he's like dims text me she's like what time is she going on the podcast i'm like i told her what time she's like she said she didn't know i was like i'll hit her right now and let her know i was like in case you forget i'm the worst i am i'm the worst i don't answer text messages back right away like i'm the worst i literally just i'm like a little i just float through life like yeah sometimes it's best sometimes that's best because i'm so ocd i'm very type a personality so everything my husband is too so we balance each other out my husband's just like you i just like yeah he flow and i'm like how how do you not have a fucking plan and he's like how do you have 10 plans

he's like i don't understand i don't have time for that yeah my husband's like that he's like babe well when we go on vacation he's like we okay he has the whole itinerary i love joey when's joey's birthday he's a scorpio oh okay, okay. Gotcha. Yep. Okay. He's 1978. Right on the Scorpio. Yeah. Oh yeah. He's a true, he's a Scorpio through and through. How'd you tie a Scorpio man down? That hoot nanny must be amazing. Cause Scorpio men do not settle down. So that's awesome. Listen, I have a lot of rage. Yeah, love it that is right up my alley I love that well I'm so happy that you came on the podcast mama and I just thank you again for trusting me with your story and I cannot wait thank you for even acknowledging my existence I'm like still

going away I can't believe like I can't believe this I'm here oh dude I this is just the first of many podcasts I know once this story gets out there's going to be so many other podcasts who want you on. So you have a really amazing story. Did you even know all that stuff about her? Her friend is here, by the way. Oh, yeah. No, that's why she's here. Listen, she's she's also seen a lot, too.

Even though we're friends three years, she's seen a lot. She's been in my house. You know, she's been around my son you know yeah no i get it mimi and i have been in each other's lives for about four years there's a lot she's told me to stop my shit good you know that's a good friend yeah i love that yeah no i have that's one thing i have knock on whatever this is i have wood brick fake brick i feel like you know when you're little and your mom makes you like the the um during christmas time those red things yes and say that those pretends fireplaces i feel like that's it looks great on camera but for the humidity has

been making it bend so we're like i'm not judging i'm i want this for my house they actually have the gray stuff and it's really cool the gray one is really cool my friends to come over and draw my wall i'll get to have them have them sign your wall and stuff yeah that's fucking badass i love that well i'm excited to see how broadway treats you and you have to come back i want you to start being a reoccurring guest on the podcast so like once a year i'll just bring you back and we'll just check in and see what's going on but i still want to make chicken cutlets for you i would love to do that kitchen here yeah we do or i could fly to i can always fly to new york we're always looking for an excuse to get the fuck out of town and

she's never been to new york we've actually been talking about it in highland it doesn't have anything to offer other than the dump no i'm just kidding it's all right though but we can come see you and then i can take her you know down to brooklyn yeah and we can go to all the hot spots i can take that would be awesome i love that yeah we could definitely make a new york trip of it it would be awesome that would be fun either way either way yeah either way we're gonna get down yeah we're gonna make it work mama yes why don't you shout out all your socials where people can find you at oh okay so um wow this is like fancy i love this so it's um auntie amanda lee that's tiktok right and then i think it's an underscore after my name and then it's uh instagram auntie amanda lee also and do you have a youtube you should fucking make a youtube of all the fucking foods and shit that you make i know my manager's on my ass about that yeah yeah oh that's another i want to shout

out tori too yeah that bitch always puts me in check yeah no we're not doing who's tori she's my manager oh awesome yeah she's phenomenal i love that yeah is she getting you brand deals and stuff like that no i I get brand deals you know so I've only been working with her maybe a month oh gotcha yeah I never had a manager because I didn't know that I was that people do that yeah this is my manager right there but I didn't know like somebody like you don't have a mat you did all of this by yourself amazing she's like you booked you you've accomplished a lot alone I'm like I didn't know that you don't get that I don't understand this like when you're you're just wired to go

yeah yeah yeah I'm like this is still a hobby for me oh you know loving it and you're passionate about it oh yeah I adore it I love it I love that I get to make people happy yeah you know the biggest part that's my drive that and my family you know providing for them and my husband you know he works and stuff too but it's I've never had anything I come from nothing like I've never had anything to call my own she's like I'm not letting this shit go this is mine this is mine for me yeah i love that i completely understand that too because that's i've had to separate myself from my husband i have been adamant about not being like i'll do jelly and bunny stuff yeah but i am still a you're your own entity outside of you're not just somebody's wife exactly and i never wanted to just be

somebody's wife so i couldn't understand you more than you could even imagine dude yeah i yeah this is the first thing i don't know why he gave this to me i'm sky daddy up above we love sky daddy we love sky daddy i don't know why he gave this to me but i'm gonna be grateful about it i'm not gonna throw it away i can't walk away from this. I think you're fucking crushing it. Thank you. And I love everything that you've accomplished and I can't wait to see

everything else that you're going to accomplish. You stole my heart with the Christmas story leg, by the way. That's my favorite, favorite movie. Oh, yeah. No, I love this. I'm obsessed. I had a small one and it burnt out

and Joey's like, get rid of it. It's horrible looking. I'll have to get you one. I'll send you one. No, you don't have to do that no it'll be a christmas story you watch that movie you know it's from that okay of course because i talked to some of my friends that have never even seen that movie yeah no totally you'll shoot your eye out yeah no i totally know that's exactly why i got it i remember whenever we started the podcast i was like i need a lamp and i was like i don't want just any lamp now you need that it's got to be a christmas story yeah yeah that is a

and we had to like search for it too and had to wait like a long ass time just to get it so really she's she's my betty i love her i i what did i find mine bad bad to be on but it's a little shit one yeah i think i got this off amazon don't quote me I could be wrong, but I'll definitely get you one. So I'll have to have you text me your address and I'll have one sent to you. You're crazy, girl. You're crazy. I love it. Well, I adore you.

And again, thank you for coming on. Yes. Thank you for having me. I appreciate you. Thank you. And thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of Dumb Blonde. I will see you guys next week. Bye.