Dumb Blonde - Bailee Ann: Strength and Healing

Episode Date: February 21, 2024

The beautiful, sassy, and highly requested Bailee Ann joins Bunnie this week to talk about everything from her Sweet 16 plans to what's really been happening behind closed doors over the recent months. Bailee Ann opens up about some darker moments and finding the strength to get through them, the importance of family, and what she's learned now that she's come out on the other side even stronger.Watch Full Episodes & More:www.dumbblondeunrated.comBailee Ann: IG See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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It is a little bit lackluster, but we are building on it. So don't judge us by the couch right now. But I have one of my favorite humans here today. The most highly requested girl to be on the podcast. Woman, young lady to be on the podcast. Miss Bailey to be on the podcast miss bailey ann howdy y'all what are you doing baby i'm currently sitting on your couch waiting for you to interrogate me for the next hour or so um when was the last time you were on the podcast 2020 was it 2020 2020 and we did the um i took over we We did Bailey takeover. Oh, okay.

That was that one. Last time you sat on the couch though. When was the last time you were on the couch? Oh, wow. That would have been earlier than that. I was going to say, cause that was when we were in the old house. Yeah. That was house studio. Your first, first season was the last time I was on the couch. Was it the first season? Holy shit. so you were like what seven no eight or nine eight or nine maybe two maybe ten maybe it was right around when sunshine after the rain came out so yeah it was right right around when sunshine after the rain yep so nine god i'm old jesus crossed you are getting up there in years kid we are we are so it's 45 what'd you say so so are you miss 45 hey baby and i could still hang with the 20 year olds listen i can't wait until you're 40

when you're 45 because i'm gonna be like hey remember when you used to give me shit remember how young i used to look at 45 oh i. Absolutely. Well, um, speaking of your sweet 16 is coming up. It is. And I don't know if you guys have ever watched my sweet 16, my super sweet 16 on MTV. It's an old TV show. So for a lot of, I guess the millennials probably wouldn't know. Yeah. Um, it's a show that was on MTV and it's these kids that get followed and they have, it's their 16th birthday and they throw these extravagant parties and stuff like that. And Bailey for the longest time has been like, I don't want a big party for my sweet 16. And I'm like, well, you only turned 16 once.

And I'm like, go watch this show and then get back to me. I've been watching. I've done binge. I think I've seen every season. There's more gas and there are girls, which I found really interesting. Yeah, for sure. It's been really entertaining to be honest. Why the boys care it's my show right now yeah why would the boys care about sweet there's this one girl who threw her um her sweet 16 in like a zoo

and i was like really do you want to smell like a zoo on your sweet 16 i have concerns yeah that's sincere ones yeah that is weird um the fact that there's more dudes too it's crazy yeah most of them were straight it's even wilder to me so i think we're gonna have you talked into doing finally sweet 16 listen i may not seem like it but i hate like we're the same way in like that aspect of like we don't lack attention we don't like the idea of something being centered around us so it's like the idea of throwing like a come to bailey's sweet 16 has seemed weird to me but it's an invitation but i've been viewing it as like a just like i'm throwing a party yeah instead of like it's my party it's like i'm throwing a party come whatever who do you think you want to perform at your sweet 16 we're have we keep having this debate and i really don't know i if i want anyone to perform bailey told me that she doesn't want anybody to perform i don't what are you gonna

have just a dj the whole night yes and you don't want like somebody to just pop out and surprise everybody and everybody go to school and be like holy shit bailey had so-and-so pop a better six sweet 16 just so we're gonna pull the bailey we're gonna pull the i'm bailey ann i'm jelly rolls daughter card like that just feels so awkward and what did i tell you if there's any time to pull the i'm jelly rolls daughter it's on your sweet 16 you deserve to do that dude you could have anybody what if you had like who's your favorite rapper oh god absolutely not cardi b be terrible what if cardi b just it's the me goes one of them's dead i don't think that'd work out very well who are they who are they the the me goes oh yeah yeah oh god we

already talked about this yesterday yeah the me goes and then i love the me goes i don't know i don't listen a lot like j cole i listen to a lot of older yeah but i thought cardi and nikki were like your i mean love them yeah but like you know she's like the migos it's the ad libs it is it's the ad libs i really i really do listen to a lot of like j cole and that more like modern day r&b hip-hop styles no you listen to old school shit i do i really do you make fun of my playlist i think it's great it's crazy she'll listen to like shit from like 95 i do i listen yeah yeah i don't like new rap i can't stand mumble rap yeah me so it's like

i can't do the money bag or you got it just i can't you're not telling a story yeah a young i like music that's telling a story yeah i get that for sure um you would probably like um joiner lucas then because he has i've heard about him i thought he was a country guy though no daddy's doing a song with him actually i don't even know if we're allowed to say that but it's one of the best songs one of the best songs actually i'm sorry one of the best melodies my husband has ever sang is on this joiner lucas song that's coming out. So I love that. Yeah.

It's fire. Oh, it's fire. God, if I could play it for you guys. It's insane. Yeah. No, it's like goosebumps and just like, oh, I can't wait for that. Yeah. His voice is just so beautiful.

Yeah. So anyways, I'm really excited about your sweet 16. It's going to be my time to shine. It's going to be my time to shine. Literally way more. We're doing a disco cowgirl. Disco cowgirl. Disco cowgirl disco cowgirl red carpet pink and rhinestones red carpet can it be pink yeah you can do a pink carpet do a pink carpet then or

what if we could find a rhinestone carpet that would be even better rhinestone pink yeah we'll figure it out but i mean if we're really gonna do this i need you to get your list over i've got it brother man i keep hearing this but i don't see that it's all on paper but also we both know i can't just hand you a list something you're like well what is this you can't read my hand rotten yeah i need a um a uh what do we call it uh point powerpoint powerpoint presentation love my powerpoint i do they're pretty thorough thanks Thanks. Yeah. Got a few. Love. They're great. Absolutely. Period. So, gosh, I don't even know where to start with you, child. So much has happened since last time we've been on this podcast. And I was very hesitant with having you come on, was I not? No, we've, we've, yeah, we've both been hesitant about it. Yeah. Frankly. Yeah. I was very I just, you know, one being on such a big platform, you're opening yourself

up to people having fucking opinions on shit that they have no idea what they have an opinion on, you know, and so you're my little baby. So it's like I just want to protect you there. Yeah, for sure. And I want to protect you. And I also want to do what's right as your parental figure. I never want you to feel like I'm exploiting your story. We've talked about it so many times.

And you pretty much were like, Mom, I want to tell my story. It's time. Yeah, for sure. It's time. Yeah, for sure. It's been almost six years since anybody's really heard anything from me. years yeah since anybody's really heard anything from me yeah and you deserve to tell your story because i really feel like if a kid your age is watching this they will be able to be like damn bailey's been through some shit and if she can do it i can do it you know all right so where do we

start where do we begin god okay so last time you were here, 10. Let's go back to 10. Go back five and a half years. Yeah. So like the past five and a half years, in your own words, what would you describe? Like how would you even begin to tell listeners what they've missed out on? Just chaos. I mean, not necessarily negative chaos.

I don't think chaos is necessarily a bad thing. Yeah. But both positive and negative yeah chaos has ensued in the last six years a lot of trying to find yourself and growing up with parents who are in the spotlight you're in the spotlight like a lot of trauma it's been great you know a lot of trauma yeah uh and we're gonna when we do talk about the trauma it's i want everybody to know that it's bailey telling her story she's not bad mouthing anybody she's literally telling you what she's been through and what's happened this is true so i think there might be a little bad mouthing but well you're

allowed to bad i'll keep it to a minimum yeah i try to always take the high road with it but i mean after god this last situation it's very hard for me to take the high road um but i still don't bad mouth her i'm just like what the fuck is wrong with her like what is your problem do you have a soul is my question right like where i don't think she's a window you know like where where um so 10 years old was mom still in jail 10 years old old? To be honest, I have no remember, like no recollection. So fast forward 2020 quarantine. I think mom, what? Mom got out.

Mom got out in 2019. But saying mom to her sounds weird. Felicia got out into really uncomfortable. Skinwalk Alicia. Skinwalk Alicia. Oh, I love it um i got out in 2019 went into rci sober living and then 2020 i guess somehow decided to pop back in and was like hey i'm mom you're my kid let's do this and i was like cool whatever um she popped up two days before my 12th birthday, May 20th, 2020.

Quarantined a campaigner, which was horrendous. And I guess we just kind of started like building a relationship from there. Her sister was out. Everything was kind of chill, actually. I think that was the best day of ever. That was great. Yeah. No, that was really like they had.

That's when they got their apartment. After mom got out of rci um which for everybody who doesn't know what rci is what is it rci is i don't know exactly what it stands for but it's basically just like a sober living facility um from people from in middle tennessee just a bunch of girls that are sober out of jail out of rehab whatever living together and weekly drug tests figuring it out have curfews basically like being in a dorm but sober is the best way i think i can describe it yeah and she was really stepping up to the plate no for sure yeah i don't know she was doing the mom thing it was pretty cool yeah it was awesome pretty rare so i was like this is all and we have always jay and i have always tried to no

matter how we personally feel or like how scared we are for the situation we always try to let it just be natural with you and we're always honest with you no matter what's going on always we're always honest like we don't try to hide anything from her so this was very organic with you and your mom like you guys it was really like you guys were healing together for a moment yeah it was great no like we really had a thing going on um about 2020 end of 2021 is when she got back with sha chyanna's baby daddy for everybody who we love my fave um which you were not for which i was not for for good reason which was which i ended up being right everybody kept telling me everybody was like you know we can't hold their past against

them let's give them a chance they're both in new places whatever and i i tried my oh i tried but i was right so you were afraid that they were gonna fall back into bad habits yeah and Cheyenne did not we'll give her credit yeah Chey's been kicking ass man slaps we're so proud we love Chey yeah we love Chey's girlfriend and they're my favorite humans on this planet literally um but so yeah they got back together and I think we were all scared but definitely me I was just like I don't like this and I made that very clear I don't like this. And I made that very clear. I don't like y'all together. This is just my childhood all over again.

It was triggering your trauma. Yeah, I was like, I'm not here for this. But a lot of good things. So let's pause right there really quick. For people who don't know your story. Oh, gosh. You know, this just made me think. Because a lot of people might not know your entire story so let's talk

about the first and then we'll we'll catch back up but let's talk about you know from birth to when we got full custody okay um just a little recap so that some people you know who don't know what's going on will know all right well i was born may 22nd 2008 to Felicia Beckwith and Jason Defford and he's gonna hate me for saying Defford and um they were not together dad was in jail yeah I feel like I should know that yeah my dad was in jail and Felicia was doing her own thing she was with Shy um living with her parents my grandparents so Shy has been around since before so she's been around since before i was born um like when my mom was pregnant with me um i guess things were fine for the first couple years though years that i don't like remember because you know y'all you

don't i haven't i didn't get my full like cognitive memory until about five um bits and pieces come back of like i remember like when i met my dad and then like it's weird to say when i met my father um and like stuff about like my susu who was there and when she passed i was four but very little um kindergarten then i guess around six first grade was when it just like went gone it was getting really bad to like where your mom wasn't able to like take you to school you didn't have you know like let's just dive in a little bit like to the house you know like you the house was horrendous yeah it was like like nightmares like i still to this day yeah it was bad i remember the first time your daddy took me there that you had to have been like what seven years old about seven yeah

your daddy took me there and my first memory of bailey is her cooking dinner for her little two cousins can her aunt candace's kids um and i think you were like who i was literally raising like literally raising these two children so you gotta imagine bailey's you know six seven years old and she's momming these two younger cousins you know two three years before i even came in the picture and so you were standing on like a stool making these kids I forgot I don't I don't know if it was like butters and noodles and butter or peanut butter I can't remember it was something but it was just like it broke my heart because I looked around and this house was completely trashed Bailey had no bed she was sleeping in a chair and usually because when my cousins moved in,

I started sleeping on the floor because I didn't want my two younger cousins not to have, like, an actual, like, space. Yeah. So I gave my cousin Michael the chair and then Lily had the couch and... Yeah. Made a little palace.

The neglect in the house was just horrific. It was really bad. Yeah. Honestly outrageous. Yeah. Like, no kids deserve to what through what they went through having two addicts you know as parents so yeah that's how bad their addiction was getting and that's what i'm trying to paint the picture it wasn't like they were just popping a pill here

and there like it was like it was yeah god it was terrible um so this is all happening um bunch of people like my um my great grandparents my great great grandparents great great great whatever they start dying and that's when it like progressed like even worse because i guess they were just really close with especially with sha um and then eight yeah right after I turned eight 2016 um around that time was when it got to the point where they weren't like being able to pay the bills because they're spending all their money on drugs so it's like the lots kept going out and the water kept going out and um we owned the house which i wasn't rent but um all these like things kept turning off i remember my dad i was seeing my dad every other weekend at this point which we've all discussed i hated hated my father for the first like but it was nine years of my life but why in therapy we've learned we've learned we've learned that there were two reasons right

one of them was because of my mom because she hated my father and i was like oh well it's my mom and my mom hates him so i hate him and also she bad mouthed and also constantly yeah it's a given and as a kid you're gonna yeah you know it's your mom like of course you're gonna listen to her whatever she says yeah for sure um and then the other reason that we've discovered i hated the women my dad was with because he does not choose great women no at all i've seen some one time he and then he popped out with a kid and the same time he popped out with a kid he got married and i was like this is some bullshit to be honest what are you doing right now you're having a woman you're having a child with this one yeah and you're married to this one who i thought was 20 i thought you were 21 yeah i love you discussed this i really did i love you i remember i looked

at my grandparents when we met i was sitting in the backseat of their van there in front we met up with a burger king or whatever and i was like she's young like she's not old enough to be like my mom and they were like i don't know they literally always just tried to stay out of it they were just like i don't know literally terrified yeah i was like no like she's a baby like that's scary and then i remember like being meeting you it was hilarious thank you thank you very much thank you remember that next time you try to razz me about my age you are still old um okay so moving on um when that when the the we were trying to help pay the bills and we would send them money for bills and it would get spent on drugs every time and so finally i got tired of it and was just like this is a revolving door like they're not gonna get better unless we you know speak up and say something so that's when you know jay was

like we went over to the house yeah we saw the house and jay was just like we have to get custody of her like she can't live like this anymore and we went to court and go ahead and then i guess there was that in-between stage of like me not being y'all's but me not being mom so there was a weird space i went live with aunt jade for a little while and then i guess y'all get married aunt jade is shy sister and we love aunt jade shout out aunt jade we love it um but she had just had her kids she just got married and i moved in with her for six months a little less a little four five one i'm a couple months um until y'all got the condo yeah we did so when we got we didn't think we were going to be able to get custody at all we did not think that it was going to go that way so we went to court thinking like okay

if we get custody of her then we'll get a place to live get a place yeah not realizing that you have you know um a call girl and a drug dealer yeah like trying to work right now trying to rent places in nashville was so hard like we got turned down left and right so that's another reason especially with dad's charges and everything that just wasn't yeah so that was one of the reasons why she had to go live with her aunt jade was because um we didn't have a stable place and we didn't want to keep moving her around and we wanted her to be able to go to school and be around you know family as much as possible until we could get a spot so yeah and i think we were in the middle of tour too yeah it was also it was the right in the middle of the addiction skills tour it was not yeah we were not having a great old time yeah

it was crazy um and then february we moved to vegas was there for a couple months i've blocked out most of my vegas memory because we went to vegas because daddy had just had enough of nashville and was like i just want to change and I want to get Bailey out of this mess so that she can start healing and we really thought it was going to be like helpful you know because when you're in that situation you don't know you know and it wasn't reflecting it was not helpful for anybody I repeat not helpful god as parents were scrambling like what like let's put her in a different environment like yeah and it's like completely holding no grudges it happened but like holy shit that was

rough yeah yeah for sure it was a lot it was a lot to take on at such a young age yeah and it was so like that yeah it was just like one day it's like hey over there at jade the next day here you're gonna go move with your dad who you can't stand and his new wife who's a literal teenager in my mind so what are we doing right now yeah what is this yeah for sure gosh um so we ended up moving back back home not from vegas to nashville and then that's when we got the condo i believe no we got the condo before oh okay so we did it was condo vegas and then we got that house in that neighborhood that little neighborhood mckay's mill mckay's mill oh okay yeah mckay's mill okay yeah yeah and that was when i went to clovercroft elementary school clovercroft clovercroft moving on up i absolutely hated

well we tried to get you out of the hood and into the suburbs so when i tried to fight a bunch of people fourth grade bailey was angry fourth grade bailey bailey has been angry bailey's been an angry hamper for a couple years for a while he's still a little angry but it's part of my i think it's part of my personality absolutely well i think it's part of your trauma i'm always gonna bring a little we're working through it you're doing really good with it but your mom was awol at this point yeah we don't know where mama is we have no idea where my mom is yeah shy's back she's chilling yeah but she dipped again because her dad died yeah fair pass kind of

yeah um and then came back so all is well in that world but mom's like we don't know where mom is yeah and this went on for a few years right years yeah years i remember completely gone we talked a few times over the phone in vegas um well because wasn't she still in jail she was in jail yeah anytime she's in jail felicia does great poor yeah literally she'll communicate yeah she'll communicate she's the best mom ever like now they've got ipads in jail it's a whole thing going on right now yeah um but wait what'd you say so now they've got ipads in jail yeah they've got a whole fucking thing i can't even believe that i don't even know what's happening yeah my god um but um so yeah mom's awol until sixth grade 12th birthday she pops back up i feel like she comes

around on the birthdays every time and i'm like can you please and this is after you had written sunshine after the rain yes this is both and tears could talk i feel like she um pops up whenever like i'm healing yeah i didn't want to say it best way to put it when i'm actually doing half decent she's like what can i fuck up in her head now yeah yeah on today's episode of let's traumatize bailey next mood coming soon um let's talk about tears can talk and sunshine after the rain so those songs you wrote yourself i did how old were you they slay since i have three and i was nine tears could talk i was 10 almost 11 um i was i remember i hate them both now so oh they're so good they're like iconic when you brought me that verse i remember when

you first brought me that verse to uh i think it's tears could talk i was like you wrote this and you were like yeah and i was like holy shit and right then i knew i was like this this kid's a fucking songwriter dude like yeah to be 10 years old and write that is yeah crazy to be honest wild and looking back like now like being almost 16 like actually really writing now i look back at that i'm like oh my god there's so much i could have done better yeah but it's like i'm also trying to give myself credit because I was 10. So it's like, can't be too harsh on 10 year old Bailey. You smashed it out the park.

It was really good. She's like sunshine after the rain too. That wasn't bad. You were such a baby in those videos. I was such a baby. The videos, the voice is hellacious. Like all my, like all my closest friends. I miss her.

Bring her back. She was so sweet. What happened? I know. I tell everybody, I'm like, wait till your kid's 13 oh i know you keep saying it and i'm like thanks mom i love you we're about to make 16 hell just because of that watch oh please no 15 was enough 15 was enough i agree handle it we're good um okay so we're getting back to where we're now the the now we're active well remember i had you pause oh yes okay so mom is getting back to where we're now the the now we're active well remember i had you pause oh yes okay so mom is coming back into the life at 12 12 her and shia going 13 yeah 13 they

get back together i'm like mom was sober out of jail super sober okay now we're picking up where we left off we're picking up november 2021 oh god she remembers oh i remember let me tell you something about this i've got receipts this is baby einstein dude she remembers fucking everything everything for i remember we moved to vegas on february 26th of 2017 i've got weird dates i don't know why so i'm great in history class yeah um but so yeah mom and shai get back together and i'm like this is disgusting okay but sure and i give it a chance everything's fine um flash forward to 2022 2022 it's march oh god this is horrendous you guys so so seventh eighth grade bailey had

a really smart seventh grade bailey had a really smart, eighth grade Bailey had a really smart idea post, um, post breakup with my first like real like girlfriend, I guess. Um, which was to have a secret Snapchat account and do some absolutely horrendous things on said secret Snapchat account. I wasn't even going to talk about that, but if you want to. Oh, I'm talking about it. Okay. Oh, it's hilarious. I was talking about mom and shy, but if even going to talk about that. But if you want to. Oh, I'm talking about it. Oh, it's hilarious.

I was talking about mom and shy. But if you want to talk about it. Oh, but now years later, I think it's funny. OK. Oh, it's hilarious. So she had a little she had a little wild face. She rebelled a little early. More early.

Yeah. And that happened. And then that was when me and mom's relationship got tedious. So her and shy started having problems yes and your mom wanted to move out and when felicia wants something she's very conniving and she would call me every day and like wanted to be my friend and that the crazy thing is is with felicia i've always no matter how I've felt about her personally, have always put Bailey first and tried to be as cool with Felicia as possible. Yeah, always.

And, you know, she's coming to me and she's talking to me about like shy and her just aren't getting along. And, you know, she wants to be such a good mom to Bailey. And she knows that. And that was and that was later in July. OK. After the summer. OK. I was talking about moving in to. Oh, moving into Shaz. a good mom to bailey and she knows that and that was and that was later in july oh okay after the summer okay i was talking about moving in to oh moving into shah's no moving in that was in july oh okay all right go ahead so in march she moved in with shy okay got her and candace and candace's

kids yeah so they have a very um codependent codependent narcissistic toxic relationships so they cannot like her sister's always with her and we love candace you know she's such a nightmare and really one of my favorite people but like we love she's a beautiful disaster she really is we love gan i just feel like candace does better when she really does she does great because my mother skinwalk lesha has a way i gotta tell you guys why we say tell them why we say skinwalk lesha we were talking about her recently bailey goes i was like swear to god she doesn't have a heart she's like a skinwalker and mom just pop goes skinwalk lesha i was like this is great so now we cannot let it go no it's literally like

it just stuck it stuck and now it's it i remember we told my dad that and he was like he didn't get it he was like what how do you not think this is hysterical and i want you guys to know the reason why we are laughing at this is because once we get to the real serious shit you're gonna understand that if we don't laugh we're gonna cry we're gonna cry so literally might as well just make light yeah this is i don't know how i'm gonna say this like appropriately really once we we're almost there too how do we how do i say that i mean you just tell the how do we word this your testimony what i mean so long story short flash forward it's may um oh wait she moved in she was in with shy okay yeah they're cool for the first like two months yeah um my mom had been

like drinking again but not like drinking again which we knew which we knew she'd have a glass of wine or she'd have a margarita at a mexican restaurant but let's be real here you told your mom when she when you knew she was having drinks you guys had like a big argument we did have we had a huge argument about it yeah and that was in about march um because you're like why why were you why were you upset i was i think i was upset because it was like it was scary i was like this is triggering going to be your pathway yeah like this is gonna lead you back into everything and she was like no no i trusted her which is my mistake always my mother is trusting her um but we had this huge argument and she finally just convinced me it's okay and i'm like cool looking back on it you manipulate a bitch really but okay fine um

let's be nice this is all these are all things i've said to her so it's okay i know i know um we're being you want to be nice to felicia what i'm about to say no i know but i'm just we have to with the name calling we have to be oh she's fine i know oh so it's may um and her and shy are starting to get you can tell they're starting to like pull i turned 14 and i go spend this i decided i'm gonna go spend like basically the summer wish i'm mom because i love them together and i'm like i may as well see how this catch up on lost time yeah catch up on life you know um and my cousins are there and like they're my favorite people and it's like i just it's like this is cool like my whole family is together one place sick um so i go there and i'm spending the summer and things are

starting to get a little rocky towards like the beginning of june but like they aren't bad um i'm smoking a lot of weed which we did not know which they did not know no my mom knew right her mom which is how this starts yeah her mom actually provided her with the weed a lot yeah also had you doing what else oh oh we're getting there okay oh it's great well i had you drinking had me drinking a lot at this point yeah yeah yeah by june we would have been drinking together because i remember we got really drunk and pride together that shit infuriates me it's so hard to hear i know new thing it's trust me it's not it's not easy to say yeah no it just to me it's like a mom

should it's okay to be a friend too but at the same time it's like you have why do you want your kid to go down the same path as you no it's crazy it's wild to be honest i always say and i think yeah that felicia tries to is so jealous of bailey that she tries to sabotage her greatness and what your potential she knows that i can be everything she isn't yes and wasn't so it's like how do i make this not happen yes and we're not talking shit once you guys hear what else has happened you're gonna understand where i'm coming from no for sure um so yeah we start drinking together everything's and i'm like okay like this isn't whatever you're just cool mom you let me drink it let me smoke weed like this is cool um and then it gets wild and by July um we were doing which is wild for me to say at 15 I frame went straight nobody knew except my mother who was

do manipulate and convince me to do and giving her bags giving me like for my christmas present yeah and so wild right it's so infuriating i think what broke my heart was listening to you tell the story of the first time that you why don't you fill that oh yeah we're gonna we're doing that no okay that's great um it was fourth of july and we had left my mimi's for her big fourth july thing that she does every year and she was like my cousins were sleeping in the back seat she's like hey we're gonna make a stop and i'm like we gotta stop felicia what are we doing and I was so drunk I don't know I jello shots were wild okay and we're in the car and I'm like the kind of drunk where I just don't even like I can't even feel what's around me so I'm just like okay whatever let's just stop somewhere she's like yeah

we're stopping by my dealer and I was like that's a bomb to drop what she was like yeah and I was like let's stop at the gas station I need a drink like I need like a red bull because like I'm spinning she's like cool so we stop at the gas station we get a red bull and like I think I got like a snack or something and I remember we we get into a fight in the gas station bathroom because I was like we're stopping by your dealer I was like do you mean for my weed because that's not a problem but what do you mean your fucking dealer and that's when she told me she's like yeah I've been doing but it's recreational blah blah blah blah blah and I'm like what the fuck and I remember freaking out and then she like talked me down and she's like it's okay like you know it's just like a recreational isn't a bad drug as long as it's used.

Right. It was like, she's like, you know, the same way that weed isn't like a bad drug. Same thing. It's just different. Blah, blah, blah. And I'm 14. This is my mother who I really trust and who I've built a really good relationship with at this point.

And I'm like, okay, whatever, mom. Just don't let it get bad again. I won't promise I got you okay cool whatever um and then we go we go to her dealer and then we stop at this dollar general empty parking lot it's like two or three in the morning at this point Cheyenne's staying with Mimi that not so it's just gonna be me mom at the house we're in the dollar general um she's like or like an ace or like whatever she's doing and she looks at me she's like will you try it and I'm like 14 years old no what the fuck do you mean will I try it I'm drunk as shit right now I didn't even know it was like the first time I do something like this I don't want it to be in a dollar general parking parking lot also drunk yeah like i've just i've heard horror stories

i've i have horror stories now about people that have gotten drunk and done and like lost their shit you know no so whatever and i ended up doing it because she's, like I said, manipulative. And she's kind of, she did her, she did the mom thing. And it's weird to say did the mom thing, but like, it's the best way I can put it. Like in terms of like how persuasive she was, how convincing it was. Right. It's not a mom thing. It's not a mom thing, but it's like, that's the, that's, it's my mom thing.

Right. Right. That's a norm for you. So it's like, it's my mom. It's like, whatever. it's not a mom thing but it's like that's the that's it's my mom thing right you know that's a norm for you so it's like it's my mom it's like whatever um she did the felicia thing and it worked um and that over the span of these couple months that i really don't have a lot of recollection of because i was so fucked up all of the time yeah um whether it was weed or I was drinking or I was vaping vaping or snorting Valiums or Xanax or whatever I was doing like I was just I was never sober for a good eight month period starting in June and it was crazy because we knew that like Bailey was being an asshole like we didn't know what because I was super like i was very good at keeping it like well y'all cannot know your mom made you feel like that also though it was what

has come out in therapy exactly you know she made you feel like you choose daddy and bunny over me and you know this is our little secret and like i never wanted her to feel that way because like every time it would get brought up like we'd get into a fight one day. We'd be high as shit. We get into a fight. And I would always tell her like, you know what? I'm going to go tell mom. I'm going to go call Bonnie right now.

I'll tell her. She'd lose her shit on me. And then she'd start crying. And every time I just feel bad. And it's like, I don't want my mom to hate me. Yeah. And it's like, if I say or to anybody about any of this, if I try to quit, she's going to hate me. Yeah.

I remember we got into an argument in like october november and it was that was around the time november was around the time that i started doing like almost every day during this time let's pause really quick during this time felicia had finagled me enough to say hey i want to move out of shy's house can you guys move us to franklin and of course jay and i being like oh my god felicia wants to be a mom hell yeah so we got live in the school district i can stay and ride the bus to her house it was gonna be great yeah so we got this house for them in franklin which is a suburb out here by where we live and it was right up the street from us and you know we paid half the rent there we paid the bills there we made sure that they were comfortable like this was an ideal situation for

us because we're thinking it should have been great right and we're thinking oh my god she wants to be a mom like this is so cool not knowing that she is fucking traumatizing the fuck out of her kid man yeah and like bailey would come home and like i would could tell some things were a little off but i just always try to give her her space that's one thing with bailey i do always try to do and i'm not tooting my own horn but i had a stepmom who was up my fucking ass all the time and with bailey i just am like she'll come to me when she wants yeah and i shut down like yeah i'll even say that like you wouldn't have been able to know because i wasn't making eye contact with you enough for you to see yeah or like i was i was gone yeah really like we had no idea presley didn't even know like my best friend in the entire universe who knows everything

about me didn't know her mom closed her off so much from all of her friends like it was like you were living like almost a double life with your mom and then you would come home with us and you would go to church with your church friends which that even started leaking into your church friends yeah that whole situation insane right so november you're doing all the time all the time and remember we got to an argument about it and i told her i was like i gotta quit like i've got midterms coming up like this is my freshman year of high school like i've got midterms i gotta get my shit together and in the meantime her sister's doing fentanyl in front of you and literally i know and it's just and every time i feel like it's still

like it's still your first time hearing it i get it's so hard to hear that because it's just it makes me want to beat people up i try you don't deserve that you know like that is mind-boggling and infuriating it infuriates me so much though because what if that shit had fentanyl in it what if she killed her own daughter you know like would she have any remorse like this is where all gloves are off with felicia is that it's like eight years we have given you eight fucking years i have we have had custody of you now for eight years more longer than your mom did you know and it's like when does the motherly instinct kick in i don't understand i don't think it does i don't think she has one yeah that's the difference between her and i absolutely mind-boggling the shit that she's done to be honest this last but i think that the i think

literally i think at least in my culture especially in my generation i've noticed that has been normalized in some i don't know why in some weird way it has been normalized as this party drug and the way i did it is not normalized doing it before english class is not normalized doing with your mother is not normalized but no not not implying that it should at all but it is so out of the realm of possibilities for so many people to think especially a kid who you know who is as privileged as you that's what i'm saying that's i'm trying to find like a nice way to say it. It's like if that's not the drug I have to do if I'm going to do drugs. You know what I mean? That's why it's so important.

I mean, it's also important because it was my mom's drug of choice. Yeah. Which how the actual fuck can that be somebody's drug of choice? Well, because your mom. You guys listen. I laugh when I get uncomfortable. Same. And I'm laughing at her reactions.

I'm not laughing at her mom. I'm laughing at my insensitivity to the situation yeah and I think yeah we laugh during trauma all the time but um your mom was also using heroin she's a heavy heroin user your mom was shooting up heroin always doing speed balls so you know to be that low on heroin you would need to bring yourself up that you know her mom was heavy heavy heavy heroin use now i don't know what she's doing you know i don't ever mean to be honest yeah but crazy so the story gets a little bit crazier um as we continue on oh god oh god oh jesus christ mom up and takes off yeah mom dips so this is so i got like completely sober in february

wasn't drinking wasn't smoking weed wasn't no pills no i wasn't even vaping nothing out of the like out of the ball out of the ballpark and by herself because we still don't know anything no y'all have no idea what's happening i literally just was like i gotta get my shit together and whatever so i did and in march when mom found out that i was done i was getting sober she and that was after i think on-site too it was higher entire thing and on-site and then after that that's when i was like oh maybe i shouldn't do this anymore well bailey starting to feel sick Bailey went through a really bad depressive era yeah and we did an emergency um an emergency what do they call it an intensive intensive workshop yes workshop at this place called on-site which is out here in Nashville it's amazing

and I really feel like as much as none of us wanted to do it we needed to do it and I also think that it helped Bailey learn you know a few things like because you were so against therapy you were like I fucking hate therapy I'm not doing it blah blah and I think that going to that session is what made me want to get sober actually it's what really is what really happened because I wasn't sober that entire weekend that we did that and then I was like okay maybe I could have session is what made me want to get sober actually is what really is what really happened because i wasn't sober that entire weekend that we did that and then i was like okay maybe i could have gotten more out of that yeah it's kind of like i guess how i thought about it because i was like it looked like you and dad got a lot from it and i was like oh i guess that could have been cool

if i was like here yeah you know what i mean it just and i hadn't realized how much shit I had missed. And it's like, I'm 14 years old. I have lost all of my relationship with people. Maybe I should get it together. And I did for a while. Well, it started, you know, doing that dark era too. You went, you know, you went through a whole bunch of shit with your friends. There was a lot of drama going on. You had started a little bit of lying about certain things

that was later that was post gotcha okay um so that was when um so i got everything was great in march i got baptized and i got saved and baptized in april which still stand by even after everything i did yeah um but we're so proud of you for that thanks um but so i got with this girl i was dating in april and everything was just like going great come may um my then girlfriend tried to kill herself i don't know if i can say kill herself did your mom take off by then mom yeah mom left in march when she found out i was getting sober yeah she got mad at me left mom took off as kind of like a punishment yeah she was mad at me because how dare you not with me anymore i'm gonna leave okay bye thank you have a great day so she left yeah she left and we don't know we think she went to kingsport but we have no idea

really no idea what she was doing stopped calling stopped communicating refused to talk to me until may yeah didn't talk to me until may pops it for my birthday again again i'm like why why do you keep doing this to me brother man i've you know i've never realized how much she pops up on your birthday birthday bitch if you try to pop up on this birthday please do i'll kill her we're ready it's a threat you know what i mean for sure at this point it's like don't start none won't be none literally don't even look at me you know and because she's always had that like i don't know why it's always been her thing to be like i'm your mother i gave birth to you it's a narcissism in her i don't care if you gave birth to me you didn't have to yeah i don't know why we're holding this over my head

the fuck i didn't ask to be here babe like we're so glad you're here glad i'm here also glad i'm here too finally took me years to be happy to be here but i'm happy to be here so bailey's girlfriend tried to offer herself yeah tried to and then so that just like sent me spiraling because i was like well there's this and then there's mom and now i'm like i don't know what to do with anything really ever and you're holding this all in you're not talking nobody knows about any of this literally i got like dark um and i was still like smoking a lot and doing whatever but wasn't doing because my mom wasn't around so it's like i didn't why would i have access to it didn't have access didn't have need didn't whatever um mom comes back for my birthday and then that sends me even like worse into like this pit I was

in and that created some interesting behaviors and actions of mine that are absolutely horrendous of me to be honest um I did some things I said some things and had a really terrible terrible summer yeah and it got like it got dark well I think we know that but had the best group of friends i'd ever had um had great false relationships with people um and in september um when all of this came out came to light yeah she's talking about just some lies that she told yeah we don't have to go in depth we don't gotta get into detail about um a bunch of lies that she had told that you know were super harmful super dark super wild yeah um all came to light that she was not telling the truth yeah and the reason for these like extreme lengths um was because i

can i say suicidal or not um i just i don't i don't know what what's what cancel culture's like right now no you're good um i was very suicidal and i needed like an out because i've always been like a very like guilty person about that been suicidal for years like we a lot of this came to like came to light in therapy recently has been like apparently threatened to kill myself since like eight so you know bailey told me when she was like seven or eight years old she's like i'm gonna go kill myself i said okay well how are you gonna do it because that's always what i always need to know how serious she is and she's like i'm gonna walk out into the snow and freeze to death and i was

like okay kid let me know how that goes yeah literally real conversation literal conversation we had um but it had it had gotten bad and so i needed like an out a way to like make people in my life hate me so it's like i had an excuse to like make i don't i don't want people to feel bad about me killing myself so it's like if y'all hate me that it's chill right y'all hate me i really don't, I don't want people to feel bad about me killing myself, so it's like, if y'all hate me, that it's chill, right, y'all hate me, y'all really don't want me here, I'll just peace out myself, um, get out of y'all's hair, and all of this happens in September, everything comes to light, and I'm like, oh my gosh, this is my way out, like, finally, it took y'all long enough for this to come out, like, seriously, it's been a long couple of months lying you know um and then tried to kill myself which is great and then went to utah well let's sit in that for a moment so we you and i had actually gotten into

we had it out loki yeah we i think it was our first argument we ever had true like our only intense yeah because i we don't yell at each other and we don't we don't like neither of us like to yell yeah at all we've had like our like moments where we're both like okay get the fuck away from me we'll deal with this later yeah for sure but like we've never had it out and that night yeah we had it out well i had gotten phone calls from parents and had learned a bunch of stuff that was going on and it was my kind of like what the fuck is going on bailey wake up call moment yeah for both of us yeah and it was just like i was so it's so hard to talk about without getting emotional but i was so um scared for her and i was so mad that she could even go to these links

that i was just like what are you doing you know like what the fuck is wrong with you not knowing everything else that's happening until later and i remember i remember i i've honestly cut out a lot of that argument in my mind just because it's like i don't want to remember us that way yeah because that was rough but um i do remember something got said and i just said oh well you'll never hate me as much as i hate myself and i don't think either of us realized how deep that went until later yeah and it was like oh well that makes sense now yeah like okay yeah yeah sure but so that night i sent bailey to her room and she took a bunch of pills that i did not know she had she did not know i had i don't think i knew i had them either to be honest i think i just found them in her drawer and um the next day she came down and she's like, mom, I got to tell you something. And I was like, what's up?

And she's like, I tried to kill myself. And I was like, huh? Yeah, I was like, are you fucking what? I said, say that again. She said, I tried to kill myself. And I said, well, how did you do it? And she told me that she took the pills. And I just looked at her and I said, Bailey, we have to treat this as a cry for help.

And I said, Bailey, we have to treat this as a cry for help, you know? And I just, I think in that moment it just crushed and it's not about me. It's about Bailey's feelings, you know? But it just crushed me because I was just like, she was just upstairs. Like, what if she had really gone through with it? You know, like, what if it had worked? That's what I'm saying. What if like it had really gone through and and she had gone through and it had worked? What if I took that bottle of pills and didn't throw up?

Yeah. So your daddy and I had to make the decision of like, this is a 911 help call and we need to do something. And it was the hardest decision I think Jay and I have ever had to make together as a couple. had to make together as a couple and i knew that my parents had put me in a mental hospital when i was a teenager when i was 14 and i know what happened to me in that mental hospital and i just know that bailey's issues run deeper than a medication and being in a fucking straight jacket or whatever they do you know nowadays and i'm not making light of straight i'm not making no there are people who are in straight jackets and then i saw it with my own eyes but that's fucking traumatizing and i was just like we can't traumatize me you know we were like do we put her in a mental hospital and then hold her

for 10 days and do you know we put her on medication which you know we're so against and i'm like no this is trauma this is hurt this is pain like she needs somewhere to go that she know nothing can get to her nothing can bother her and we didn't even and it's crazy that you even knew that it was that deep-rooted because you didn't know what it was deep-rooted in you just knew it was like oh there's some childhood shit but i mean obviously there has to be more well no i mean i i've seen all the pain that you've gone through and i knew that it was this is not something that you throw a pill at this is something that this is you need to rip the band-aid open and you've got to really start healing so daddy and i worked with onsite who are just the most amazing people in the world like that if you guys ever have

any sort of trauma you need to deal with any sort of um you know you need to go to therapy um like month-long course they do all that stuff. These people are great. Fucking amazing. Incredible people. Like they really care about your program. They do. I discovered in this journey with you that the children's mental health crisis, there is such a void and nobody wants to help you. Depressing. Nobody wants to be honest.

The statistics are depressing. Oh, and I want to do it. I definitely want to start getting more involved with children's mental health and stuff like that after going through this but i learned that there's really not a lot of options for kids it's either you put them in a mental hospital or you fucking deal with it at home and it's like that doesn't either really seem like healthy options they're not for anybody at all for sure because that's teaching you how to just kind of like suck it up

and get over yeah how do we move on yeah you need tools we need to move through not on so tell us where you went kid i went and before y'all get scared yeah it's not like the ones on tiktok yeah or the one that paris helton went to or anything like that wilderness therapy yeah and to or anything like that wilderness therapy yeah and listen y'all i thrived it's wilderness kid i fucking love the mountains you guys this kid thrived i'm talking like i it was probably the happiest i had ever seen you when we went we were allowed to go visit you after how long um it was eight weeks eight weeks so you went for how long to this i went for almost nine because i left the week after y'all came yeah i was like get me out of here yeah so we ended up finding this wilderness camp that is fucking amazing and they treat trauma and you know it's more like hands-on and you're

out in the fucking wilderness and you're like last you guys you're with other kids and you're like healing together and you guys are just learning nothing can it's not like a fucking military base or anything it's not like you guys like it like i look back like i think back on like some of the memories like sometimes those really pop up and i'm like that was a fever dream yeah like that's insane like i did so much like real work and came out the other end so much happier like on like a spiritual and emotional intellectual level yeah but like i also had a ball like i learned how to like make fires out of like trees and like i could crack apples open with my bare hands dude we went to go see her i ate so much dirt so messy and like you know me i'm an ocd freak i'm like kid they don't have you

showering out here and you're like mom i'm in the wilderness and i'm like where do you see a shower she sat down and she fucking like cracks an apple and i'm just like oh okay i was like it was like it was like true beverly hills i don't know if you guys have ever seen that movie but the fucking mom is like this bougie ass bitch and she's out in the middle of the wilderness like uh that was me no it was really crazy i remember she was like i have to pee but like i don't want to pee yeah we had to go pee in a bush like it was wild that was not off and you know it was great but it was in that first so we i didn't find out about the stuff with felicia until her therapist tells me about four weeks in because i told my because i told my therapist i was like so this happened yeah and you know bailey i will give it to this kid man she

went there like we were completely honest we didn't just wake her up one day and say hey you're going yeah i wasn't gooned or anything yeah no we said hey look this is what we're doing we're trying to find something you know so bailey was like when do i leave i was like give me the fuck out of here yeah she was like i am ready to fucking go heal i'm ready to fucking just this is my journey that yeah i was also like i felt like i was just like it's that weird thing where it's like i was sitting alone with the person who tried to kill me and that's like a really like dark paradox to be stuck in until you can finally like get out of it so it's like it was just it was just me yeah and i was like what the fuck like i don't know what

i'm sitting in the room that i tried to kill myself in with just the person who tried to kill me yeah like i have to like i was just ready i was like because i came to a point where it was like i had three options in life in general. And I've always given myself three options. And I finally hit the fork in the road. It was either I can kill myself, opt out. I can continue being the shitty human I am. And doing all the things I'm doing. And doing drugs.

And lying and hurting people and hurting myself. And end up dead or in jail. Or I can get it together and heal and really people and hurting myself and end up dead or in jail or can get it together and heal and really do the work and be the person i've always dreamt i could be and option a didn't work i tried and i was like there's no point trying again i'm a logical human whatever doesn't make sense and b was like that doesn't make sense if if that's only gonna lead me to a so gotta heal gotta get it together and if we're gonna do it we gotta do it now we gotta do it right because i'm ready and you did it you went there i really did you did the fucking work kid they did the thing so proud of you man um so yeah her therapist fucking told me about this and i literally just lost it i started crying on the phone.

I was so mad. There were so many fucking emotions. And, you know, of course, the first thing I want to do is find Felicia and fucking rip her up by her fucking ear and shake her and be like, what the fuck is wrong with you? But then it's like another part of me wanted to run to Bailey. Like, why didn't you tell us? You know, like, why? Why did you hold this in? Because you never have to.

Like Jay and i have really tried to create a space at home of like we don't care what you did just tell us before anybody else can or like you know talk to us and i think as parents we were like damn this was going on right under our nose and we didn't even fucking know it you know and so when we got to go out there and visit you you had that sparkle back in your eye and you were just, even though you were in the middle of nowhere and didn't want to be there, you still did the work and you fucking, you know, you sat, we sat down, we had some sessions and you read everything and told us everything that had happened. And there were tears and you know anger and love and just and

you know overall it was the best thing I think that could have happened in that situation yeah I think that we definitely did the best thing for me and for us and for all of our futures honestly for sure if a kid's listening to this right now and they're going through something like that like with a mom that's coming in and out of their life and hurting them all the time or you know battling drugs and stuff like that what would you tell them what have you learned i've learned so much it's hard to like put in a list but like i think if there was anything i would tell somebody listening to this now that's battling problems with parents or addiction or

mental health problems or suicidal ideation like whatever it is under the radar all the things we've all dealt with um i would tell that kid not to cop out no not worth it whether it works or it doesn't it's not worth it mine didn't work and sitting here now what four months later yeah four months later i so happy it didn't work and i remember waking up the day after my suicide attempt looking back at everything and looking back at all these years of everything all the pain I've been through I was so angry at God at myself at the world that why couldn't this have worked why couldn't I have gotten out I just want to get out and I would have I would have never forgiven myself for not being able to forgive myself. Because at the end of the day, I was a child.

And I was thrown into so many situations I should not have been in. And at the end of the day, I'm a human who put myself in situations I shouldn't have put myself in and I didn't need to put myself in and I did things I shouldn't have done and things that things happened to me that shouldn't have happened to me but I can't hold a grudge against the world and I can't hold a grudge against myself But I can't hold a grudge against the world and I can't hold a grudge against myself. Because at the end of the day, doing that is going to make you spend your entire life in a box. And you really have three choices.

You die, you fuck up and you die, or you heal and you grow. And what I didn't know then when I made that choice to heal and grow was that, or when I made the choice to try to die, was that that third option, that third row leads to so many other paths. Now I get to choose what I want to do for the rest of my life. I can do this, or I can write songs, or I can be a doctor, I can work in the FBI, or I can write songs or I can be a doctor I can work in the FBI or I can be a public speaker I can heal I can continue to learn more about myself I can learn about others I can teach I can care now like and it's only the only reason I can care about other people is because I learned how to care about me so at the end of the day, take the hard route. Don't cop out.

Don't cop out. Don't cop out. Yeah. I love that. I think that's amazing. And you know, you're still in therapy. We all,

it's, it keeps going. Yeah. The thing about that road is it doesn't end. Yeah. The two, the other two, they end,

they end quickly. Yeah. Frankly, but like that third row, it keeps going. And that third road it keeps going and that third road keeps going that's why they're so it that's why it just opens to a whole world that if you cop out you'll never know exists yeah i think it's worth it to just know it's there

to do whatever you want with it and it's not easy too when you came back you had to you had like an adjustment period oh you had to like get back to sleep outside rough to be honest guys she had an adjustment period where you know it's not like everything's fucking you know perfect it's not yeah at all but you're choosing to live yeah and it's every like every day like i'm still your life like i still wake up and i still have days where i'm like i don't want to wake up today to be honest but it's still like that's being human that's being human yeah it's being a person i'm like that every day yeah it's part of it i'm like i don't want to fucking be here today to be honest i'm like i don't want to get out of bed can i just

like take a nap for the day we'll deal with it tomorrow i would love that if your daddy wasn't at home all the time i would probably lay in bed yeah literally at least for like a week i'd be like just lay there and then i'd bed rot and then i'd get up and fucking make myself do something literally but um but yeah like we like i still have those days and i think that's just on a human level and on a mental health level of like days that i don't want to be here and every day i still like i make that choice to be like okay well friendly neighborhood reminder not being here didn't work for you very well so what you gotta do when you're like god damn it you're right okay so where it stands with your mom is we don't well we know where she is we know where she is because she got in trouble again but

her lies caught up to her um but there's no communication still no and there won't be which we'll talk about that and you know i tell you we we always have this conversation and i'm very um very strict on my stance in it i'm a very i'm a very emotional person but i lead with logic yeah and that's something I learned about myself Capricorn moon because your Gemini sun is crazy crazy um something I learned about myself through this whole like process has been I'm a very black and white person yeah like I like I don't believe in the middle mind or the integration of emotion and logic it doesn't comprehend in my brain so i'm such a math person um but like i've learned from my mother that there is no healing for her um she is

frankly i believe my mother's soulless and i don't say that about many people but i don't think there is healing for her because I don't think she ever wants it yeah maybe she will one day and you know what if she does good for her I hope she does it and I hope she has a great laugh and I hope she figures it out and I hope she does it for her yeah um but I'm not an option in her life anymore and she's not one of mine and I'm very cut and dry on that now with everybody. And I respect your boundaries. I just always tell you that, you know, if your mom does get her shit together and can actually fucking be a mom and not be a fucking weirdo,

just because I've forgiven myself doesn't mean I'll forgive her. Right. And I do think that one day I will. Because I think that's not the right thing to do for her, but the right thing to do for me. I don't deserve to hold that for the rest of my life yeah i don't deserve to hold the things she did to me yeah in me um and i'll forgive her but it's one of those things that you don't forget yeah and i can forgive her without trusting her i think that's something that people forget a lot is like you can forgive somebody without

forgetting without moving on without rebuilding forgiveness doesn't mean to oh well i forgive you for that let's restart yeah forgiving just means i forgive you for that i forgive you for me i forgive you for me literally i'm not forgiving her for her for shit what do we do now where do we go from where do we go honestly i'm still figuring that out we got spring break coming up we got spring break coming up which i'm super excited about we're still trying to decide where to do it we literally don't even know where we're going yet but whatever we got spring break and i've got the act and my sweet 16 sweet 16 coming up which will'll we'll probably video the sweet 16 for patreon or something oh my god if we don't film it like my super sweet 16 i'm not doing it okay then we

will we'll do it for sure like that will get you to do the sweet 16 that will get me to do it we have to do it like my super sweet 16 bro um i don't know i'm i'm riding a lot back in the music thing i guess so hopefully i'll see someone that soon and yeah i don't know i've got i've got a cool thing going on over here actually i know i'm proud of you you're a thriving kid and you're doing good and you did just lose your grandmother literally last week yeah that's really depressing we're not gonna talk about that we won't we won't talk about it but i mean you're literally kicking like just buried her a couple days literally just went to the funeral two days ago um yeah god it really has been that jesus i'm just ignoring it yeah i'm still in denial still in that part of grieving yeah um but you're thriving kid and

you're fucking i think that you are at the example that kids need, you know, teenagers need right now because it's fucked up out there. I would not want to be a teenager right now in this time and age. You don't really. But at the same time, it is so fun. Yeah, no, to be honest, we're having a blast. It's like we're having a literal like like the mental health crisis with teenagers right now is disgusting and it makes me want to do everything in my power I can.

And I'm trying. I i'm gonna keep trying and like this is my first step towards continuing to help this movement of teenage mental health yeah but um it's also a great time to be a teenager right now because none of us care about politics and none of us care about religion and we're all just kind of doing our own thing everybody's just trying to figure it out these are going to be some of the best times of your life but i can't wait till you go to college oh i know you're so excited we're running a frat together i keep telling bailey we're gonna go join a frat together i told her i told you i said we can do it just together you can't do it by yourself i'm gonna be van wilder i'll be like the fucking old lady who never

graduated college but throwing the dopest fucking parties that everybody talks about no it's gonna be great we're gonna live in the dorm together that's where i'll go find my little cabana boys it'll be good boys that's rough you know i don't think there's cabana boys in texas oh yeah we're going back are we going to texas we're going to texas i thought we're going to florida i haven't decided i'm deciding between uf and texas a&m okay all right respect i do love texas a&m will be fire i love it well thank you for coming on the podcast kid it's been nice catching up with you after all these fucking years after all these years gosh sure there was some questions comments concerns i feel like we've answered most of them yeah if there are questions you guys just

put them um in this podcast podcast below in the comments. And then like when we do a Q&A, maybe I'll bring Bailey on. Yeah, it'll be good. I love you. I love you. And I'm so proud of you. And your daddy's so proud of you. And Mimi is so proud of you.

We are all just so proud of you, kid. Proud of us. We're doing it together. I mean, we really couldn't do without each other. For sure. We all go crazy. Teamwork makes the dream work. And we put the fun in dysfunction. do yeah we do and i think what's cool about our family is we

don't try to hide the shit we've been through man at all you know like we didn't do this we didn't talk about it when it was happening in real time because we were you know i don't think we really knew what was happening well it's not even that but it's like our family needed that moment exactly you know to like be like what's going on and get our head around it now we're out you know we're out of it so we're just like man god glad we made it through that the grass is greener you know yeah for sure found out the hard way but the grass is greener for sure well i love you kiddo i love you i love you so much all right let's go do this fucking grammy fitting grammy fitting food oh my god i need we are manifesting that daddy is gonna win his he is gonna win the grammy

daddy is gonna we're gonna be there and we're gonna look great and we're gonna cry oh my god we're gonna cry so much we're gonna cry so hard so bad oh my god streaks i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait well hayley's doing our makeup so it won't move so facts yeah legendary that'll be awesome all right you want to tell everybody bye bye y'all love you love you