Dumb Blonde - Erica Mena: I'm Not The Villain

Episode Date: December 23, 2024

The gorgeous Erica Mena unpacks her fascinating lore, sharing how she rose from an independent video vixen starring in iconic music videos to becoming a breakout star on Love & Hip Hop. She opens up about her relationships, including her marriage to Safaree Samuels and her late partner Raul Conde of Terror Squad, and the lessons she learned along the way. Erica also reflects on her challenging childhood, as well as how reality TV exaggerated her persona as a villain, and what's next for this triple threat in 2025 and beyond. Erica Mena: IG Watch Full Episodes & More:www.dumbblondeunrated.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Is this thing on? What's up, you sexy motherfuckers welcome to another episode of dumb blonde today my girl erica minna is in the house baby looking fly as ever too thank you babe i was like i'm seeing the baddest i gotta come correct and i don't do interviews yeah i hate them because they end up being just clickbait people kind of you know yeah I don't know they've never been like my friend I feel like I've noticed you do a lot of interviews with men they're never gonna give you a chance you know what it is when I first started in the very beginning I to put myself out there I was just doing like bad tv like these weird little outlets in the beginning that social media wasn't that big, but I wanted people to kind

of like, dive into me, and it never turned out that way. So, over the years, I was just like, I'm just not gonna do, and plus I'm on reality TV, so it's like, what can I really say in an interview that you guys kind of don't see edited anyway on TV, so. But, yeah, I don't

do interviews, um this one i felt like i had to um first of all such a big like your whole journey like i know what's up with you um i feel like we have a lot in common too like you're my buddy yeah like we talk like we could go into it but yeah like you definitely you definitely, like we have, you know, that loss of a companion, you know, kind of story that we can compare and just, I just love how you're just such a ride or die. You, you kind of own up to who you were, what you were and kind of like, this is who I am now.

And you just kind of taken people on your journey and now they have no choice but to fucking respect you for it. And I feel like it's so similar to like me i kind of was that you deserve your flowers and that's what i was telling you when you first and thank you for that i appreciate thank you for seeing me for who i am now and what i what i've been through and where i'm at i really appreciate that and that means the world to me um but you also deserve your flowers because girl to be as relevant as you are in this world for as long as you have been and you've literally clawed your way up and we're gonna get into your story because

I'm sure a lot of people who listen to my podcast might not know your backstory and stuff like that which is really why I wanted to do this more than ever yeah new audience new fresh minds like people get to tap in and then they can kind of do their homework on everything yeah comes with me after yeah but yeah i've kind of been through a lot girl just out there for a long time you have literally you've been a video vixen you've been a reality tv star now you're dabbling in music and becoming an actress and it's like it's just so inspiring to see somebody who's came from where you've come from also and pretty much we're like you know what i'm a force to be reckoned with deal with it and i love that about you that's always been your attitude you don't hide who you are i love that you wear

your heart on your sleeve thank you i just feel like you're just human and if the world doesn't love you they secretly fucking want to be you because literally you I never thought about it like that I think this is you know I just was a wild puppy for so long when I started I had no direction I just knew I'm gonna be this no one may like not knowing how to do it or who I needed to do or how I needed to be to do it. I was just like, this is what it is and I'm going to go for it. You grew up in front of the world. That's not easy. That's not easy to grow up.

It's like Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Britney Spears. They all had cameras in their faces in the most pivotal years of their lives. And so did you. You know, like you literally were a baby coming up and every part of your life was documented nobody's gonna know how to act in front of one you said it you hit the nail on the head nobody guides you nobody tells you hey maybe you shouldn't act like this or hey yeah you know I had no management no nothing it was just kind of like this is and even with family members like no one knew what the hell I was doing they just kind of like this is and even with family members like no one knew what the hell

I was doing they just kind of well and reality well and reality tv encourages bad behavior because that gets views oh my god and when I got into reality tv I swore it was like wrestling I did I really really did I was like okay you just go in because I was casted to be the villain you know that that was the conversation we had at the, you know, when I sat down to even start my reality journey. And I was just like, okay, cool, let's do it. So in my mind, I'm like, this is like wrestling. You go in, you know, you be the supervillain and you go home

and you get to be yourself again. And it wasn't until, you know, I got my fair share of being aired that in the backlash that I got, I was like, oh, maybe it's not like wrestling necessarily. And at that point it was like, okay, this is, people are going to believe what they want to believe. So let me just do my job. And then as, you know, time went on, I realized, okay, they're, they're setting me up to kind

of do certain things for what they need right to bring in ratings how do I get control over this for myself so that I can kind of get control absolutely and I was also going to say um to one of your points is people think reality tv is real you know it is to a certain extent but at the same time it's not because no one's going to really sit down with what a bitch said they don't like right and discuss why they don't like them right and you guys get put in these scenarios i'm sure there's alcohol on set i'm sure there's people behind the scenes talking shit putting shit in people's ears the early years of loving hip-hop was literally we pull up the set and the liquor was coming to the van yeah see what i mean you want to drink

open up the you know the cooler and you had your poison of choice right then and there so yeah that's a good point absolutely they definitely set you up they gear you up they juice you up give you up and then production this you know the truth of how my production work you sit in the van you talk to your producer and they kind of lay out what's gonna happen what you're gonna you know this and then and then go yeah and so i mean in a sense they're seeing snapshots like little polaroid pictures of your life but just blown up to where like you've had to hold something in for such a long time and not been able to confront a situation so reality tv is real in a sense but it's also severely exaggerated yeah so in the beginning stages that's kind of what it was

and then when i started to when it started to get real and personal was when i got married and all that stuff like all of that and like and it's funny because my life would be cool calm and then as soon as it's time to start filming i don't know what it is it's the luck of it where life just becomes crazy and out of control and the cameras are rolling and you just you just got to go roll with it so let's cut it right there because we're going to take it all the way back to when how this even started how you even got into reality tv of course we will get to your marriage because we know that that's why everybody's listening to this interview too unfortunately um but i really want to paint a picture for um my um crowd yeah of who you are where you came from and all the

shit that you've been through before you even got to this reality tv fame so you were born in the bronx yes i'm a bron. And, but you have a crazy story because I, every time I watch a new interview with you, I learned something new about you. You almost don't tell everything all at once. You, you kind of like give bits and pieces and you remind me so much of myself. Cause you'll be like, yeah, so I saw my arm off, but you know, this happened and it was great. You know? And it like wait a second she just said something super fucking traumatic and then just brushes over it like it's nothing yeah because i'm so used to people not really giving me a fuck anyway i know but that's not okay and it's not you know you are a rarity because we need more emotion in this world

we need more like women who are like, hey man, this fucking hurts. There's a clip that we're going to play later of you talking to your ex-husband and it broke me. Because any woman that's ever been in some sort of fucked up relationship had to have felt that moment.

Yeah. You know, and we'll get into it. Oh, I know. That clip has been viral for like, it's still viral. Oh. I get people from like Australia and like all these places that are like sending me DMs and pouring their hearts out.

And it's still to this day. It's an authentic moment. It's a real moment. And you weren't afraid to show that. And I really have to give you your flowers on that because so many people try to just be hard for the cameras or try to act like they don't have emotion. And you're just like, no, what this fucking hurts I'm going through some shit in my life when it comes to the reality stuff was so real and that's why it irks me when the other

individual tries to act like it wasn't yeah or you know safe face purposes but it is what it is so going back to the Bronx um you growing up in the Bronx, you, your mom, can you take us on that journey with your mom? Because your mom was pregnant with you in prison. So let's talk about this. Yeah. She's like, wait,

you did your research. Yeah. No, no, no. Yeah. I mean, obviously I wasn't born yet.

So I, I didn't get to experience much besides like the foster care stuff and not being able to be with my mom all the time. Well, you know, like I'm supposed to, any kid's supposed to in the very beginning, early stages of their life. But yeah, it was an unfortunate situation. My mom, wrong place, wrong time, got caught up. wrong time got caught up and um my my sisters my older sisters I should say kind of felt it more than any anybody um but yeah it was it was it was definitely a trying time for my family but my mom pushed through um I was in the foster care system for some time. And my mom, you know, did what she had to do when she came out to kind of get me back. And it wasn't until I was like five, six that some normalcy kind of started to transpire for me.

So the early stages of my life were definitely away from mom and family. And that creates a lot of resentment and anger in your heart whenever as a child because i my mom left me on a doorstep when i was a baby and that really breeds kind of resentment sometimes towards women or sometimes just towards everybody you know i feel like for me it wasn't so much like resentment it was just more of like um i just felt like it was just unfair the the things that I had to deal with as a baby. Yeah. You know? Absolutely.

And I can't blame her for it because it is what it is. But, you know, the people who are taking care of me, you know, and that's why, too, it's like when it comes to foster care children, I have such a, like, a soft spot for them because you'd be surprised you know how the system just really just misses handles children you know consistently um and the people that they choose or they allow to be foster care parents because that's really you know i know for me in my experience that was kind of i think the the part that really kind of messed me up in the childhood kind of phase of it, you know, being molested so young, not having control over what I was feeling, not understanding if what I was feeling was right and was wrong. to this day for me to be sexual with anybody or anything even though i'm such a sexual being when i'm tapped in it has to be a connection yeah you know even though i'm super like people look at me and be like i'm super sad and i am you know like um it's part of like the scorpio in me yeah like but at the same time i'm so kind of selective because of that you know kind of selective because of that, you know, kind of experience. You have to be, you know, especially in this day and age.

But I also think, didn't I see an interview where you talked about, like, while you were in foster care, you were also, like, sexually abused? Yeah. Like, that's hurtful, too. And that can affect, that can also make people super sexual or withdraw sexually. make people um super sexual or withdraw sexually so yeah i was i was sexually assaulted when i was a child um for the time that i was in this particular um foster situation and um was i feel like that kind of made me to like the tough not so much in the like the sexual stuff granted like when it comes to being sexual with anybody I have to have a connection with you like it's not just

you know what I mean and it takes a lot to get me there yeah um but it also made me like the tough girl that I am you know where I'm just kind of I keep my you know and my tolerance and my I don't know it's kind of you had to protect yourself yes a young age it was like yes that's what it is I had so the way I am now I'm like so like I'll be damn and people call it crazy and they call it whatever I call it I just dare you to fuck with me just because I what I couldn't do as a child for myself I'm gonna do now that just gave me goosebumps so you grew up to be the child the woman that would have protected the little girl that you were I still yeah I feel like I owe that little girl the protection that I consistently on a day-to-day basis try to give myself that protection yeah and

that's really you know going through something like that at a young age, because I also did too. And I'm only saying that to relate to you. I understand the anger. I'm obsessed with the song your husband wrote on your behalf. Oh, yeah. It's so, every time I listen to it, I cry. Oh my gosh.

It's one of those. Yes. Because it's really that. It's like, you know, you're innocent. You don't have no idea. And when it happens, it's like you, you know, as a child, you don't have no idea and when it happens it's like you you know no no as a child you don't know how to explain or you your innocence is really taken from you absolutely and not by choice and the thoughts and this and that is like you know it's tough it's not easy well that creates anger

too like not being able to speak up and not being able to like say no I don't want you to do this to me that also creates anger. I grew up such an angry child. I got kicked out of so many schools. Oh my God, me too. For fighting. Me too. I mean, I'm telling you.

And it stems from all of that that's happened in your childhood. They say that you can feel your mother's emotions while she's pregnant with you. Oh my God, yeah. while she's pregnant with you oh my god yeah my son sapphire who's four vibrant child like and and and very um is it artic she but she knows how to like articulate all her feelings and such a like you know vibe but when i was pregnant with her we were in me and my ex-husband were in like real die hard honeymoon phase legend oh my god he is any little thing goes off it's it's literally night and day and it's crazy because when i was pregnant with him was when i was tormented the most by my ex-husband like from the cheating to the embarrassment to you know left to fend for themselves after a house

got robbed while he's in a hotel we're just in the same house that got robbed and i was there on ice tenting it was just and i literally can see the difference in my children from them too just off of you know what my pregnancy age was and my phases. Yeah, it's crazy. And he's a beautiful, happy child. Don't get me wrong. But when he is, you know, not getting his way, the tantrums, the breakdowns he has, I definitely see it. I'm like, oh, yeah, everything I felt when I was pregnant, he took on.

He now walks with. So it's funny because every time he has those moments I tried to like squeeze him and hug him and um just because I'm just like I I know what I went through when I was a pregnant and I just don't feel like it's his fault yeah and what happened to you also wasn't your fault either. Yeah. I just wish I would have known better as far as like what I allowed to happen. Because had I known it would affect my child now, I probably would have made a lot more better decisions. Well, unfortunately, we don't know to make better decisions until we go through situations that make us grow. Because I'm like, had I known it really would affect my child

the way it does now, oh my God, it probably would have been a lot easier to just walk away and never look back than it was then. Because your children are different. They give you a different type of motive and like hustle and reason and I'll be damn kind of way to be. You're already such a fierce human so i could only imagine how you are with your babies oh my god i'm like i'm orange jumpsuit i dare you to

fuck yeah my kids like don't play with me so circling back to your childhood moving on from that horrible situation i heard you say that your mom fought for you which is awesome because a lot of women don't do that once their babies get lost and into the um you know system and you also have how many brothers and sisters so i have okay so i have two sisters one of them on my dad well on my dad's side i have two sisters and two brothers right um one of my sisters from my dad's side oh my best friend i'm so happy we found each other we didn't grow up together because my dad was you oh my best friend I'm so happy we found each other we didn't grow up together because my dad was you know playboy at his finest um but later on in life she found me

and it's like my best friend like literally I wish I had her all my life but anyway we're making up for it now I have another sister that I was adopted and we don't know much about like her whereabouts um but I have my two brothers on my dad's side and then on my mom's side i have three sisters so i have a cute number of brother and sisters and they're like half but you got like half and and full-blooded yeah because all my sisters me and my sisters only share mama we all have different daddies gotcha that's how my family is yeah so um i feel like parents back in the day were such players oh yeah they lived in in that time of just free love. Yeah. Yeah.

And just do it. Like we literally we think we do what we want. Wanted. It's like I feel like we're the generational curse breakers and we're breaking all the shit that our parents. Yeah. You know? Yes. Yes.

So moving on from that, let's talk about your father's Dominican. And I heard your mother was raised by nuns. Yeah. Can we talk about that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So unfortunately, she got caught up in the system as well, taken away from my grandfather and put into the system and ended up in like all I wouldn't even say all girl school. It was like a girl and

boy school but it was school you know for children um that nuns kind of raised them and it wasn't the best experience you would think oh nuns holy place but no especially everything that's coming out about like terrible yeah my mom used to tell the stories my mom tells me i won't even get personal on that just because um we recently just had like a heart-to-heart on all the things she went through and it's so sad how yeah like I said like I just have a soft base space because these they have these facilities for children and children just aren't being treated properly yeah so my mom had a really tough upbringing which is you know why I understand you know her even more so now because as a teen me and my mom used to clash so bad yeah we're going through that right now but I thankfully it's not too rough but I feel like everybody goes through that with their mom it's like you just yeah you don't they don't understand you you don't understand them yeah so but now you know as time goes on like

my mom opening up to me more makes me appreciate her more understanding what she's been through and then it makes me look at the things that I've gone through and like oh it's actually not as bad as my mom so I have to and I also feel like where I got my strength and and resilience from definitely comes from her after hearing what she's kind of had to go through I definitely know like why I'm such a you know unbreakable person is because of my mom but yeah she did fight for us um it wasn't easy um I'm sure they it's funny because they'll take kids from parents um won't take kids from parents that deserve to be taken care of and the parents that do ride for their kids they put them through hell so yeah that was kind of my mom's scenario but once she got us we kind of you know life started

to kick in my stepfather took over you know and gave us such a beautiful life let's talk about that though because your mom was in a halfway house. Yes. Yes. And then fell in love with my, my, my dad. Um,

and yeah, and he, he gave us such, like I said, such a beautiful life. He was such a great person. He had, you know,

his life as well and his back, his, you know, backstory, but ultimately he kind of, you know, fell in love with my mom and you know you couldn't tell him that we weren't his children and that's how life you know kind

of picked up for us and you know he bought us our first home and you know it was just it was once things you know we got over those unfortunate circumstances and my mom did the work meeting him, you know, that, that the universe, yeah, that union just literally set the tone for my childhood to kind of actually kind of settle in and be all right. And, um,

I still dealt with a lot of things though, secretly from what happened to me. So you, I think I heard in another interview that you said you never spoke about it, right? No, because when I did, I remember there was a time I did. I was told it didn't happen. So. That is so hurtful, though.

Yeah. That's really. And it's funny because the sister that told me it didn't happen is the sister I don't talk to now yeah and that was the sister that i thought was like my nurturer because she kind of did raise me when my mom was at home right you know my mom worked a lot to provide us everything yeah um that was the sister that kind of held it down for us but right you know tables always turn and you eventually see who people are. And that's kind of where I'm at with that. She might've gone through her own shit too. So yeah, she had a kid at a young age. Um, so I'm sure she had her, you know,

own stuff going on, but yeah, I was told it didn't happen. And, you know, I kind of looked up and very was, how you said that respected this particular person who was my sister so you know you respect someone and they tell you one thing you kind of roll with it and that's kind of how I took it and I didn't speak about it for a long time that causes anger too in a child when you feel like your voice isn't being heard so you you stuff that down it's called unresolved anger yeah and it's like you to have to be that young and deal with being told that it wasn't true is yeah extremely hurtful and that comes out in other ways also oh yeah that's why i'm like i'm so adamant on like

being the tough cookie that i am from then to now. I've definitely kind of calmed it down because I'm just kind of like, you got this. Don't worry. People know now they got them. They got them. They get the message now, you know,

so I got a chance to wheel it back in, you know, but yeah, that's kind of why it's just kind of been that girl to no, take no shit. I got the label of being batshit crazy because I don't take no shit and I kind of just I accept it it just kind of is what it is and then people thinking I'm crazy believe it or not helps me because it's kind of like you know they they how you say that um

they they know not to fuck with me so that's kind of like selective like unless they really really you know like well I'm your girl so I'm gonna, I'm going to give it to you real. Tell me, you had to step into your, your, uh, masculine energy. I've been in my masculine energy, even when I was married. I feel like it's feminine energy, but we'll get into that. I've never not had to be my masculine. Right. And, and I talk about that a lot on this podcast because I too, and I'm only saying this because I relate to you so much,

have been in my masculine energy my entire life. And the only person I'm in my feminine energy with is my husband. And I promise you that when that happens for me, you're going to be the softest. You're going to be the softest version of yourself. And you're going to look back. I had that taste for like a second. It's beautiful.

Yeah. But when it really happens and it's like when it's for like ever when it's your time yeah you're going to look back and you're going to be like i never want to be in my masculine energy again i want to be oh yeah no to have to be in your soft era and then have to jump back in that's what's not talked about a lot yeah absolutely no that's extremely fucking traumatizing oh my god and it's hard to let it go because you're like i loved it there yeah like why did you take this from me like why you could have just left me the fuck alone like you gave me a taste of what i deserve and then to pull it underneath me to have to and then to have to be masculine times 20 or 100 than you've ever been before yeah no I feel you baby I am we're gonna get into that I promise we're just building this story so we have to build it

so going back to your stepdad he pretty much came in made life so great and then when do you start like you know thinking like okay you know what i want to be a star i feel like i always kind of like loved music and i used to watch um west side story over and over and over again once my mom put me onto it it was one of my favorite go-to movies and i would sit and watch it and sing and over and over again once my mom put me onto it it was one of my favorite go-to movies and i would sit and watch it and sing and dance and um i was obsessed with rito morano and i don't know i just felt like i always loved that whole vibe yeah like it was just always me to sing and dance. And I was always in the mirror and like, you know, it was just something that I just, just, it was just within me.

It wasn't even like something I was introduced to. I've just, and I would watch musicals all day long. I just was obsessed with them. And once I started, you know, one of my early preteens music videos started to become a thing. Like for real, for real. Back in the day, video vixens were like the it thing to be yeah like janet jackson that's the way love goes oh yeah my favorite go

to videos to watch because she had like a variety of all these beautiful women um and janet jennifer lopez was one of them not even known at that time but yeah you know one of the like you just see like all these women vibing out and dancing and just being I don't know it was just like a era but that whole like music video phase kind of drew me in even more and then you know um growing up in New York the castings of music videos and things like that were like at an all-time high I actually have a cousin named Maritza she used to be married to david alingria so we had our fair share sometimes too of going to see um living color or him perform certain things you know and she was managing him at one point and i remember like reaching out to her one

time i think like 15 14 i was like by the I oh I want to be that I didn't know what it was I just want to do that and and um having a conversation with her she was just like if you're really serious you know go check out backstage and that was a newspaper at the time that you would get at the corner at the um you know, like the little newspaper stands, music magazine stands that sold candy and all that stuff. So I would like get off the bus or get off the train and get my, you know, backstage. And I eventually just like one day was like, you know what, I'm gonna start going on castings and auditions. And it just kind of took it from there. um I would go skip school go on these castings

before you knew it I got you know casted for a music video and then it just which one was the first one um the first one ever was um all stars it was a music video with this group called I want to say it was all stars can we find that Mimi Mimi? And the crazy thing about it. Is it online? It's featuring, um, it had Nicki Minaj. Wow. Early prime.

Wow. Um, type in all stars, Nicki Minaj and see if that comes up. Well, isn't that crazy how life is so full circle, so full circle because the individual i married later on in life was in it too they had like a group yeah that was my first

music video ever that's the red string and if you are able to pull it up it's so grainy and so like because this was so long ago yeah but how crazy is that that's like the red string theory that he was in that video with her and you were in it also life literally comes full circle that is nuts weird yeah so weird let's see if we can find it all stars i i when we wrap this up i feel like i can find it put nikki minaj all stars video well i was a bit i was a vixen in the right i was like a random you know video girl that was my first video then came can't stop won't stop young guns which was rockefeller and um from there all the new york shit all the new york that's when rockefeller was like huge oh my god yes young guts can't stop won't stop and i remember because it was one of the it actually became one of those videos that were on

all the countdowns so i would be at school and people would be coming from you know to school like i see you in the video 106 at park and then and it was just like it was a cool feeling and then yeah it just kind of took on a life of its own I got a taste of what it was like to see myself on tv I got a taste to you know to see how things moved you know behind the scenes and what they were looking for how you needed to look what how you needed to move who you needed to be um and as young as I was I was picking up everything no guidance no you know manager no nothing I would like speak on behalf of myself um and just you know just kind of just maneuvered and before you knew it I was like lead girl in music videos and then I started doing you know publications from like double xli candy yeah to

this was all huge in the 90s this is like the 90s right 90s and 2000s yeah yeah yeah yeah late 90s yeah yeah yeah um we're showing our age here erica i know i was like wait is it 90s yikes like late i was a baby i was literally a baby yeah one of the videos i was 17 and 97 so i was born in what, 87? So yeah, I remember one of the videos I did, I was like 15. Wow. That's crazy. That would never fly nowadays. Well, back then, they didn't do all the paperwork and stuff like that. And they paid you cash, you know.

Well, it's because weird shit was kind of happening behind the scenes sometimes. Yeah, and then it was in the early stages of just the whole you know how things would get done like there was no real process right you know um they would cast you and then you know that's about it you kind of get your two three hundred dollars and yeah you know get sent home and you'll be there all day like i went through it all yeah but i'm really blessed though in that even though i was so young i wasn't dumb and I will say this my childhood traumatic experience saved me a lot from getting caught up in you know a lot of women do get lured in yeah in these environments to have to do x y and z to be in these positions where you can be on, you know, in these videos and stuff like that.

And I feel like my traumatic experience definitely saved me from like knowing better. And just like, I would never, because of what I went through, I know what it felt like to be touched and, you know, not wanting.

Yeah. And I would never, like, I would have refused to like feel that way again under my, with it being in my control, I would say. So yeah so yeah it like unfortunate situation but it definitely prepared me and had me prepared to kind of maneuver in those spaces being as young as I was that's that was an example of you taking your power back yeah yeah when I also knew like what I wanted to do so So I was just like, I, you're, you're going

to respect me and it's not for that. Right. You know, absolutely. When I got into sex work, that was my way of taking my power back. It was indirectly like, you can't touch me unless you pay me, you know? So it was like a, it was a weird healing, um, you know, situation, but we all, healing, um, you know, situation, but we all, a lot of us victims, um, I, I don't like using that word. A lot of us survivors, um, you know, we take our power back in different ways and it could be something just like what you did, just saying like, you know what, I'm not going to, you know, we're not shaming the other girls who have done it, but we're not going to be, you know, totally. It is. It's, it's, it's's one of those things like everyone has their own way of like dealing with what has have happened to them and then how to progress with it yeah no absolutely can we bring up a couple of these videos so we can see young erica it's so funny

i i think we got a few do you got young oh god that oh i can't wait to dive into that. Oh, I can't wait to dive into that. Oh, yeah. We're ready, baby. We're ready. Let's go. Okay, this video. You were in Candy Shop? I didn't know that.

Yes. I love that. I used to dance to this song on stage. This is 18-year-old Mena, 18, 19. I used to dance to this song on stage all the time that is so funny and i was definitely like 17 going on 18 here erica i was such a baby but you always you still look the same you think so yeah you're so beautiful thank you oh my god this is one of my favorites i got to work with a lot of friends of mine's on this these are all the jams too oh i'm so lucky with my video catalog no this is amazing yes this is

like history actually i was really excited about this one because for me there was so many beautiful women on set and the fact that i was picked to kind of have that like one-on-one moment when you're in the video world and you start from like okay kind of being a little bit of an extra to like main girl yeah you know status it's like an accomplishment when oh absolutely you get to kind of deal with the artist one-on-one that's why the chris brown video it was like oh my god now next movies like i made it how was it meeting chris brown it was his early like years of, you know, child. So, and I remember cause I used to smoke black and mild. Oh God.

I think everybody went through a black and mild phase. And I remember him seeing me off camera smoke one and he would not let it go. He was just so, this is like baby Chris Brown. Yeah. So he was like, ew, you've smoked cigarettes you smoke and he would not let it go that he even made a comment about it on like making the video and swear to this day people swear like i like i had like some type of bad breath but it was him talking about me like smoking and you could smell the smoke like you know so and it's funny because I see when every time I see him I'm like you have to clear the air

on that that you were literally getting like making fun of me for being a black and mild smoker because he was fresh he was like you know baby wasn't smoking wasn't doing anything and um yeah but that video was my favorite I remember um my best friend at the time me and her were up for the part yeah and it was you know i felt bad but i was like i want it so i made sure to outdo her and i got the part yeah i mean this is this is your career that we're talking about i had that michael jackson video what's that video where he goes walks down the street um uh the way you make me feel yes the way you make me feel yeah okay so i had that video in mind and i remember that woman just being so like poised and badass so when i did

the audition and it was eric white who was um who directed this video i made sure that whole video was just playing in my head over and over so in audition like with my friend there i made sure to outdo her yeah we're not friends anymore so i can talk the truth about it yeah but i mean you're not even saying i'll do you sweetie um but yeah but to be 17 16 17 doing these types of videos that's insane like that's a lore like this is history right here yeah no it's it's i have a lot to tell my mom i mean my my daughter yeah yeah literally like fire mommy has a book to tell my mom i mean my my daughter yeah yeah literally like fire mommy has a book to tell you but unless you've lived through this era you don't understand

it and it's hard for people to respect it but this is like this is really because videos aren't like the go-to thing anymore no and people this was such a cool era i wish we could go back to this because this was like the girl actually she ended up being casted for the friend y'all her name is narisha i love it but i mean this is like this is such a cool lore and this just goes um i just want to show everybody how independent you were before even this marriage yeah made so many headlines and you know because i see people say things and i'm just like do they realize who erica was before she got with this band and i think because i've been around for so long yeah and then came this era and then came love and hip-hop and then when i did love and hip-hop well i was on there

for like 15 years easy um i went through the different phases like and and i'm i'm i went through the whole era of like okay not understanding how reality tv works to, okay, now I need to get the audience to tap into me, even though producers were still set on me being narrated this way, that brought in ratings. It took a while for people to kind of like, okay, see me as a person. And I still feel like they don't see me as a person because they're so used to me being the villain.

You know, for a long time, I was okay with going in tearing shit up saying whatever telling you know letting doing whatever they wanted me to do until finally i was like this is not who i want to be forever i want to do movies and i want to do and i would go out for auditions for movies but because people have this set you know narrative on me casting people it was hard for people to cast me so then I'm like okay I have to do something that over time and and even though it was like I was one I'm one week hated one week loved and it goes back and forth and it fluctuates one thing's for certain is people watch for me absolutely you know because I bring it whether it's um put together story by production

or it's my real life what'd you say to me earlier talk your shit girl so it's like yeah i've been able to kind of like people whether they hate me or love me or whatever they gravitate they watch um so over time i'm just like like, you know what? Like I, I want people to kind of know who I am. I'll still give you guys what you need, but I want people to start knowing. That's why too, you'll see the shift. If you see the years of loving hip hop houses, about it, about it, about it, you know, going off on whoever I will say whatever and read, read a bitch for filth. No, no, no.

Um, which I love that Erica popped read a bitch for filth. No, no, no. Which I love that, Erica. Pop the fuck off, queen. For sure. I would have, like, no remorse. And then after a while, I'm just like, okay, I'm done being that girl. Like, and you would see the ship. If you really watch that early love and hip hop phase to, like, okay, as time went on, you'll see how things change.

And it was because I was just so sick of people just thinking I was just this mean bat shit, crazy bitch for no reason. It's like, I had to do my job and I did it. And now it's like, okay, people still want me.

So let's show them who I am. Yeah. So for a while, and even with that, like I will be real deal myself and production when they're like edit things to be the way they want it to be that's why with my lesbian relationship yeah we'll talk about that too yeah I'm like this is the real deal and then next to you know it's like they're editing it up like this bitch is completely innocent and it's

like damn we're gonna hop into that relationship with Sin too but I want to talk about another you know, it's like they're editing it up. Like this bitch is completely innocent. And it's like, damn, we're going to hop into that relationship with sin too. But I want to talk about another relationship before all the love and hip hop stuff. Okay. You actually met your first baby daddy, Raul,

who was part of the, I know he was part of the terror squad. Take me on that journey with you guys. Um, I met him at the Nina sky video, move your body um and i was brought in by you know production to be on set where he was already on set and i remember him telling me the story i had this black dress remember the arrow like that draping yeah yeah i actually still love those dresses yeah well

i have one of those dresses on set and um he said he this is the story that he tells me and it's and lives rent free in my head forever but um he's like as soon as they brought you in the room i seen you and i looked down at your stomach and i was just like damn this bitch is gonna have my baby he was like your stomach was so sexy he was just like I just felt like you were gonna have my baby and he was like that's why I said and it's funny because they asked him when I they brought in a couple of girls like who who he wanted standing next to him and he picked me and as soon as i you know got next to him he took off his terra serrat chain put it on my neck and it just draped right there on top of my stomach and from there it was like history oh and then he like i remember once he can put on the chain he put his arm around

me passes me his phone and he goes put your number in no so that was the romantic way of getting with my first baby daddy but that was the kind of man i was like always attracted to like a man that's just like assertive like boss like not with the extra shit like you know let's get straight to the point i'm one of those women like if you want to fall in love in three days let's do it yeah but really fall in love like i'm down so, he pulled that mesh emerged souls. Yeah. Like, okay. Like you see me, you want me, you're for me.

Let's do this. And that's what it was. He saw me. He, he knew he wanted me and yeah. And, um, we were inseparable after that. I felt like two days later, um, I was 18 when I met him. Um, yeah, I feel like two days later. How old were you? I was 18 when I met him. Yeah, I was young. You were a baby, but you were, you know, of age.

So it's fine. So you ended up having Raul's baby. Yes. Take me on this journey of being a video vixen and getting pregnant. Like, how do you? Oh, I hid my first pregnancy. I hid. How did you do that?

You know why? Because, okay, not saying I don't love my kids. I'm so obsessed with my kids. Yeah. But I never wanted kids. Yeah. There's nothing wrong with that. I've never wanted kids either.

And I have one right here. I never wanted kids. wanted kids i think seeing my my my sister's struggle um to provide and and all of that just wasn't my thing yeah it just wasn't i i just saw it as like okay this is great for you guys but it's not for me and i used to walk around with this whole mentality of like if i was stupid enough to get pregnant i'm gonna be smart enough to keep my baby so therefore I will never be stupid enough to get pregnant right and then before you know it me was having our time of our lives living it up you know I was hanging out with him during the stages of BMF being you know in Miami and running the streets DJ Khaled was still DJing at the clubs

I actually had uh Tonisa Welch on the podcast and she's uh she was the first lady of bmf yeah so like i was around during that that era what a great era what it was such money was everywhere yeah i feel like it taught it showed me to the ropes of like okay like be about your shit get your money you could live a good life and you know that's kind of where i was aiming that's where i was so when i found out and i found out when i was pregnant like six months pregnant i had no idea i was six months living my best life wasn't showing no symptoms um still getting my period and you're already so tiny like i was even more tiny wow before then because i didn't have my breast implants nothing i was like so young yeah um and yeah i found out I was pregnant and I it I was actually

depressed I didn't want it I didn't want a baby well I mean you were you were a baby having a baby yeah I didn't and I and I hid and I hid and I just I had to gather myself in the sense of like okay like this is what it is how do I do this um i more so spent the time being pregnant with my first pregnancy coming to terms with okay this is what it is and being okay with that right but once king was born i was like okay i'm okay with this no you fell in love with them i fell madly in love with them i breastfed i took pride in that um and because i had my whole pregnancy too for me was more so like i got a chance to just dive into like okay this is what it is um you're gonna have to do whatever

it takes you know to to give this person the best life possible and i didn't know how i was gonna do that but i knew i was gonna do whatever it took to do that right and um how did you guys come up with his name he named him oh he named him that makes it even more special yeah he named him he i was like one day i was like do you want to name him raul and we're like you know like i because I didn't I like I said I was still coming to terms with me being pregnant so the whole naming thing you know was like I didn't know I didn't want that responsibility but at the same time I was like giving suggestions and then one day he was like we're gonna name him King and I was like what really he's like yeah I just love the idea of like a woman going up to him and like asking him his name. And he just says, I'm king.

Yeah. And he was so into God and about God and, you know, stuff like that, that, you know, he would always say, you know, God is king. King is God. So I think that's kind of where his his drive with that came from. Yeah. And I was fine with that. I was like, king, actually. And then when I thought about the, you know, broke it down like yeah imagine like if i was a woman

walking up to a guy he's fly and turns around asking names king oh i'm sold and that but back then too that name wasn't very popular it wasn't yeah it wasn't um i think kingston gwen stefani had named her son kingston around that time i remember that vaguely because when she announced it i'm like she talk our name but he's like no it's king king so yeah so he named him um and yeah and it was it king changed my life completely uh he made me the ultimate hustler um he made me realize that even more so than i did before feel like i had the like i i needed to make shit happen for me yeah because you know stealing baby formula and pampers and all that shit was not the life i wanted to live but it was what i had to do at some points and um it was just like okay I I can't and it's it's crazy because

still to this day like people will be like where is queen why she never show him and um so on so forth but it's like he was born and I did everything I could to provide for him. So when I finally got the call to kind of do love and hip hop, I was living in LA at the time. King was like seven, six, seven. Love and hip hop in New York was in New York. I was living in LA and I made my mom retire so that I can have the peace of

mind. Obviously me going through what I went through as a child, I was like, I'm not leaving my kid with just anybody. So the next best thing was make my mom stop working and take on the responsibility of not only taking care of a kid, but my mama, so that I can have peace of mind and go out and make shit happen for us so that this way we can have.

So I did have to sacrifice a lot of time but it wasn't until he was like six seven i was with king thugging it you know well you were you were already doing some tv stuff because raul hadn't was best friends with yeah he set us up to do dash miami and king was like what three four he was he was in a snippet of it too yeah um he was like two three he was walking around he was so small so tiny but yeah i was saying he was he was in a snippet of it too yeah um he was like two three he was walking around he was so small so tiny but yeah i was saying he was putting me and one thing i will say regardless to what um and our relationship at one point was so like oh it was it was toxic that was my next question because yeah it was toxic because it was more controlling like he really just

he saw me as being for him and only for him and as time grew I was like I want more out of life like I love you but I want more and I like was staying in this was he a lot older than you okay how much how older how much um by a couple of years okay with new year's resolutions many of us will make a vow to eat healthier Okay. With New Year's resolutions, many of us will make a vow to eat healthier, and that's a good thing. But what about our beloved pets and their nutrition? Greetings, naturopathic doctor Dennis Black here, and I'm on a mission to provide better nutrition for cats and dogs because truthfully, all pet food is dead food, which is why we created Rough Greens and Meow Greens in the first place. We bring their food back to life with live vitamins, minerals, probiotics, enzymes, omega oils, antioxidants, and so much more.

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So good, your pet will ask for it by name. But I will say this, like, even though the times that he made things difficult for me he was always a dad yeah he loved his kids and even in the times when he didn't have much he still made it happen so like with king with with raul i never ever had to think for one second to ever put him on child support or anything like that. Cause he just was always like, he was just a real one when it came to the kids. He just made things difficult for me at times. But even with that being said,

he put me in position for a lot of things that I'm able to do now. Like reality TV, he was the one who kind of set that play up. Him being good friends with Scott Disick, he introduced me to Kourtney, and every time they would come to Miami, we would hang out with them. So I eventually built, you know, a rapport with her. So when she started to cast for Dash,

she, you know, asked about me, and Raul was like, absolutely. He actually was the one who made Jesse Torero put me in Candy Shop and this is around the time that Fat Joe and 50 Cent had their rival but he was like my girl because he knew Jesse was casting for that yeah he was like you know Erica will be banging for that like you need to have you know a Latina in there stop playing and and Jesse was like you sure like aren't you at war he was like joe's

at war not like they got nothing to do with my girl so he put me in position for that that's amazing i was casted for that yeah no like raul like even though we had our toxic times and it was real bad girl like real bad like physical bad like whatever we could do to fuck with each other hurt each other we were doing at one point and it's not something I you know I'm happy about but it's the truth and but even still he didn't he knew I was the mother of his child so he didn't do anything to stop me from flourishing to be able to be the best that I could be that's amazing that's a real man yeah yeah like regardless of how he felt like he at one point he had like a real possessive kind of mentality when it came to me yeah which I look back at it now I'm like fuck kind of hot it's very hot um but I was young and I I also was

like oh no let me be I want to go I want to because I also knew like there was more for me yeah you know and he was very set in how he did things and how he was as a man you know like I used to get on him all the time because he used to he would bring money to everybody like put these business plays from Fat Joe to Khaled to, you know, Jesse Terrell, to all these big people that now are doing so extremely well for themselves. He would set up these plays for them and would never ask for any type of like business percentage from deals he locked in. And none of them would ever look back and be like, hey, you set this up here. Feed your family.

So I was, was you know as his woman sitting around seeing this man look out for everybody and and you see the other wives you know living it good and and we're here kind of like struggling and penny pitching and after a while it just it just didn't sit well for me and I would bring it to his intention and it would just be a bicker and his thing was you know like you know this is what i do this is who i am and and that was great for him but for me it was like as your woman i can't sit up here penny pinching while you're doing all of this everyone's eating and we're just barely making it yeah um also as his his other half you you want to bring that to attention because you want to

be like hey baby like you deserve this too it's too up until he passed i feel like that was always our conversations because he's he was always the power play right and it's funny because at one point he came out with his own water and he brought it to joe's attention like let's do our own water blah blah blah and it's safe to say fat joe downplayed all of raul's great ideas but over the years who had their own water 50 cent came out with his own vitamin water like you know what i'm saying like it's like all these great ideas that he would bring to fat joe and he would downplay it or turn his turn his cheek and you know like he was such a brilliant man with all these great ideas he just wasn't he was respected when it came time to protect everybody and you know do the street shit and stuff like that and when he was bringing money

to the table but never looked at and like you know acknowledged for the other great things that he was you know trying to make happen so I think that was just like as much as I like wanted to stug it out and stick with him on it I just I just knew like okay you're okay with this and this lifestyle and this living and being you know yeah leveled with all of this I can't like i like the way these other individuals are living i deserve to live like that too and that kind of was the reasoning for me kind of like breaking things off um but it wasn't easy because he was not letting me go for a while but he still put me in position yeah i owe that man so much um i like you know from the music videos to bringing me into reality tv i got a taste of it i got a chance to see how it works

what it was and how they do things and just seeing like how the kardashians are able to turn anything with their name on it into bucks and stuff like that like getting a taste of that with him putting me in position to do that and be that you know set it off for me it was everything I needed to know it was like kind of like a little blueprint so that man you know we had our toxic times and it was ugly and it was one point um I went viral after I got on love and hip-hop because of an altercation I had with him um outside of aclub, which was, you know, gets brought up a lot. And people don't understand the backstory of that, but it's fine. But even with that being the case, he still did right by me because I was his kid's mother.

And, you know, for that, I just, I got to give him the ultimate respect. How are you dealing with his death? I don't think you could ever deal with it. Mm-hmm. I didn't think I was. You push so much down, Erica, that that's why whenever moments like this happen it comes to you because you don't you push so much down you're so trying to be the tough person you know so it's like it's um it's the heartbreak it's okay to hurt that I gotta watch my baby go through it I can't do

anything about that because I can't ever take that away it was so unexpected too it was his best friend of my kid's best friend, and they had a relationship that was just so. I actually wish I had that type of thank you, that type of relationship with one of my parents. I guess you could say I kind of had it with my stepfather, but. To see your kid heartbroken. And as a mom, you really can't do anything about it is like the hard part and then realizing that now I'm really a single mom

because he was like our dad for him and the other situation i feel like is whatever i think i've been a single mom from the beginning right but now for real single mom you almost don't realize how much he weight he pulled with you until he's not there anymore yeah because um when i couldn't be there because of my work schedule and things like that he pulled rank and he showed up and he he he did what he had to do and came close huh or him and king close extremely yeah extremely close him and King close? Extremely. Yeah. Extremely close. And it's funny because over the years, me and him became extremely close too.

He would talk to me and like, what do you see in this? Like, look how fast you left me because you want it better. What is it with this? This is not even your type. This is not even of your level. Like, you know why I picked you? You know why I picked you because I saw greatness in you you know why he picked you because he wants to take your greatness and he would have these conversations with me and and they would resonate and those and and our conversations mean his conversations will be those times where I would have the, I would build that strength and then I'll be like, okay, never again.

And then, you know. He was like your best friend. Again. Yeah. But he would remind me of who I was a lot. Like, do you, do you know who you are? Did you forget who you are? Like, look how fast you left me and you didn't look back

and look what happened like what is it with this clown whatever the fuck he wanted to call him what is it with him like why why are you letting this situation and especially when i was going through postpartum really bad after I had legend yeah he would come over bring me food open the shades like what are you like what are you doing E like did you did you forget who fuck you are he's like like you know snap out of it and then you know it's funny because the babies loved him they called him uncle raul but we had a relationship it was great you know um the only thing he was just so soft with king but king would get away with everything and that would be our thicker if there was any like you

have to let like you can't let him run you you can't let him tell you what to do and this and that i'm like you have to be the dad and he's like oh you know like he just had this softness with with king that king could get away with anything could tell him anything or whatever but he was the best dad and then over time he just became one of my confidants confidants no other we spent thanksgiving together you know at times we did new year's eve together like him the babies king and raul and the family and you know that was that was it yeah no i'm so sorry that you guys have to go through that that like it breaks my heart to see you hurt so bad it's hard to to just know that King's still hurting and probably will be hurting for some time.

Yeah. You know? Yeah. Losing a parent is rough. I couldn't even imagine at that age. Yeah. And then, you know,

King and him have plans to, you know, do things together. Like, you know, moving him into his dorm room, college and things like that and um how is your relationship with king now because i know you it's kind of better we've had our

moments i feel like because king for a little bit he doesn't like the limelight so you know me being famous and stuff like that like once he became vocal like he didn't want to be on tv and social media because any real fan of mine knows like me and king used to have the best snaps back in the day and king is so smart that we used to we used to end up on blogs because this is the beginning phases of like social media and stuff but um snap was big for us and we would sit and have these conversations and as a kid he was so into like global warming and modern day feminism sounds like this one over here yeah yeah they're just so smart like i could never yeah so we would sit and just have these conversations on snap and people would just be

so blown away about how smart he is and this and third and he finally started going to school and um where kids were a little bit older and parents you know are tuned into love and hip-hop and that attention just started to really get to him and affect him and there was one time he went to the library and a group of parents just kind of like forced him to take pictures and that just kind of traumatized him for the rest like that to this day to get king to go out with me somewhere um i have to promise him that i'm not taking pictures oh i understand that we deal with that in our family too yeah like he hates it he doesn't like it at all he's very he's super introvert he's like not with any so for a while it was just like why do you have to be famous i hate this like you know like so we went

through that with bailey too it's yeah like it's rough on kids yeah and it's not even because he was never bullied or anything about it it's just the fact that it's a life they didn't ask for. Yeah. It's like, why are they in our, like, why do they want to take, like,

I hate this. Like why? So for a little bit, he dealt with that. And then also too, um, when I started loving hip hop, I had to fly out every Sunday from LAX red eye to make it Monday.

Right. So fly back out Friday, eyed so I could have um Friday well Saturday morning to Sunday so I only have like a day and a half with him when I started doing love and hip-hop so I missed that on a lot you get a lot of shit for that oh my god online and I to me and you know everybody has their own situations that are going on and you had your own trauma that you're dealing with especially at that age um since when do we start shaming moms for having to work yeah I don't that's I don't understand I already have the guilt of like knowing I'm gonna miss football I'm gonna

miss parent teacher I'm gonna miss you know just making him lunch every day or whatever like that guilt will just never go away and just the little things like even now with the little guys I'm like I bring them to set with me because I'm so scared of missing something yeah you know I don't I already walk with that like resentment to with myself guilt and guilt because I'm like fuck i missed out on so much with him but at the same time king had stability he had structure i go through it a lot like i feel like especially with the little ones i i think back like damn like this is what I miss with King. And then, and then. So anyway, with that being said, I had nothing when I had King. Yeah.

Like Raul did what he could. But for myself, I had nothing. Yeah. Like in order to have rent be paid, in order to stop stealing what the fuck I needed to survive, in order to provide food and all of that I really had nothing yeah so when I got the opportunity to do love and hip-hop it was a lot like even for me can you imagine like working all and I remember I had to like stay with my sister for the weeks the days during the weeks that I was filming for love and hip-hop yeah who was

still living in New York and then fly back and then literally be home, but this long to go back on that six damn hour flight. But it was an opportunity for me to get out there, for me to get paid, even though they wasn't paying me much at that time, but it was something. And it also gave me an opportunity to give King what he needed you know

not having shit yeah you were literally working i was working to provide what he needed and and and just making it and i was okay with that because i was able to pull it off and then you got to remember too i also had my mom that I had to take care of too. Yes. Well, people make it sound like you just were out partying and like living a life. And they don't even realize that like parents every day make sacrifices for their kids, you know?

And you were doing what you had to do at that time to make money. Did you miss out on his life a lot? Yes. But now look at the life that you have provided. And I will say that, like I missed out on a lot yes but now look at the life that you have provided and i and i will say that like i i i missed out on a lot but he turned out to be such a beautiful soul he is so like intelligent he has accomplished so much yeah he's 17 and in college right now yeah as we speak like i can't even

complain like that's why now like before it used to bother me and I used to sit there and like explain myself. But now it's like I feel like it's a little bit weird and freaky and kind of like. Now I look at people who inquire and stress this whole where is he, why she's never posted. Like you are weird to be stressing about a child's whereabouts especially a child that is doing well for himself yes at such a young age for him to graduate high school and already be in college at 17 and already have his career like he wants to do um cyber he wants to work in cyber security and he's adamant on like being in that field no matter what it takes you know like and it's not industry it's not and he has the private life that him and his dad even though his dad was known his dad likes his privacy as well so

he gets that trait from his dad and he he has everything he wants and more you know it's just unfortunate now he doesn't have his best friend you know um but even with that being said he's doing the work to get through it by you know now he's in college he's you know sourced out his own therapist and you know things like that to kind of you know start his life and being a grown you know person and he does a great at it. And now I feel like he's accepted me being the famous family. Well, it takes him growing up a little bit too. And now it's like,

it's funny because now that he's in college, we talk more now that he's in college than we have ever. Well, when he was a kid, he used to blow me up. But then he got into like preteen and then then it was like oh my mom's famous and then um but now he's in college and we talk all the time we literally are on the phone for hours that i gotta tell him like king i gotta put the babies to sleep i'll call you tomorrow and even that is so hard because it's like your baby wants to talk

to you stay on the phone with you and you're like fuck I gotta go I gotta go because I have the other ones but and then the babies are obsessed with him Sapphire is like in love with her brother you know talks about him all day long and it's funny because he doesn't like pictures but with her he'll sit on her like she will turn her ipad and with her he'll take pictures but no pictures with anybody else like he runs from the camera so sat anytime we want like an updated photo of king we go to sapphire's ipad yeah they're there like you know i love so yeah it's come full circle our relationship and then any parent who has a teenager knows like teenage years they they suck i love being a mom but like oh like and i'm thinking already about it when it comes to the

two the two that i have now i'm like i do not want to go through those teenage years are so hard you're gonna have two of them at the same time exactly and i got the boy and the girl and it's it's gonna be so interesting to see how i pull that off but um teenage years are so hard and then in this generation and then the way school is made up how you know kids are forced to have to talk about commerce like subjects that kids shouldn't be having to talk about kids now some of the sexual preferences and bro you know tom wants to become sally and all of that stuff is fine but it's like that's not what i have in my household so for them to have this upbringing and then put them into a school that or schools

in general or the outside world because one thing i've learned is that these kids learn more from other kids than they do their teachers sometimes it is just scary things off yeah and then they come back from school you know you lie to me or why is this? And then it's like, you don't, you're not prepared for these conversations yet because they're not at the age where you should be preparing. Right. My husband always says this quote. He says, the worst thing you can do for a child is a parent that has an unlived life. Yeah.

Because, you know, if you're just going to sit at home with your kid and not pursue your dreams, what is that teaching your children? Yeah. You know, now look at your baby he's in college pursuing his dreams because yeah he had parents that pursued their dreams yeah and then that sacrifice you know even though I wasn't ever expecting to do it by myself now with the two little ones it puts me in position now where okay I have made a name for myself where like the two little ones now instead of leaving them behind i can bring them with me on movie sets and stuff because i have a little status and people kind of respect it and understand and now too working moms are more respected way more respected than they

were back in the day they know you come with kids they're going to give you a good trailer and and that's how i've been able to pull off all my movies because every single movie i have done the little ones have been on set with me I see that too I think so yeah and that's something I would I wish I would have had then but I was making a name for myself and setting myself up back then yeah so now yeah things are different yeah so moving on from King we're gonna get into the subject that everybody wants to talk about and everybody wants to hear from you on because you haven't spoken about this at all i've been speaking about it just because of loving hip-hop right but most recently the most recent yeah there was just something that was put out there for monetization and clout and

you know for a weird agenda of a certain individual. Who's now a YouTuber. Yeah, all of a sudden a YouTuber. We were researching last night and I was just like, this is fucking weird. But to each their own. I'm never going to knock anybody's hustle. It's got to be a midlife crisis. At 43 years old, you wake up one day and wanting to be a YouTuber.

Girl, let me break out my glasses because i've got so many notes on this um so for those of you who don't know you actually um married safari uh yes you married safari who is nikki minaj's ex that's pretty much what people know him for is being minaj's ex you can see her whole demeanor change talking about this man. Take me on the courtship because you said somewhere that he courted you for about three years. Oh, my God. That's crazy. I didn't want him. Right.

My intuition knew what was up. Right. I did not want him. I never found him attractive in that way um and it's funny because it wasn't until I actually started dating him that I even got like the real of like his relationship with Nikki um so when he started to kind of come after me I knew he was her ex but I didn't know the real details of it um coming from the terror squad angle of my life I always was a Remy fan and stuff like that and don't get me wrong like who doesn't sing a Nicki Minaj song but I was never like tapped in like because you remember she from Brooklyn, I'm from the Bronx. So you kind of growing up in New York, you, you side and more gravitate to the rapper

that's from your barrel. Right. And, um, and not everybody has to like, well, it's not even that it was just, I was with Raul. So Remy was my, my go-toto right you know like that was who I knew that's who I sang and I do know that um Nikki for years had like these bomb ass mixtapes that even friends of mine would like dive into and know every word so I knew of her I just was never like really super familiar with her music because of the world that I was kind of in. Right.

So, yeah, I didn't know the details of their relationship or that, you know, whatever, until we kind of. But anyway, I. So you guys met on the set. How you say that? I wasn't put onto game of the kind of individual that was. All I knew was that he just gave me corny. He gave me player. he gave me player he gave me suspect you know like it wasn't the fur coats that threw you off you know what I don't even think he had the fur coats when when I kind of met him and he was kind of going at me he had the the fake ruby gold necklaces and um I was engaged to

Bow Wow the first time I ever came past with this individual so that's how far back we were at this strip club and they were actually filming for like this reality show at the time and I had went to be in support of my friend Saya that was, that was a part of it. Anywho, he was dating an associate that I knew at the time. She comes in with him and he, she introduces me to him. And he literally was like, you're Erica Mena? Damn, you're so beautiful in person. Wow. Mind you, he's with this other woman.

Just disrespectful from the gate. So that to me was like my first impression of him. with this other woman just disrespectful from the gate so that to me was like my first impression of him like you are just disrespectful you're thirsty you're just not like not that type of guy yeah anywho um that was my first intro to him and i from that day, he, for like three years, this man just, when I tell you, did everything in his power until finally my publicist, he hired purposely because he knew she was my publicist. And I didn't find this out until years later, but he would offer her money just to kind of you know get to me so yeah I I was I was tracked down and he was persistent and he did you had had previous relationships on like love and hip-hop and stuff like that were you burned from like going through the situation with sin going through the situation with rich dollars was it because you didn't want to have another relationship on camera in that

franchise? He wasn't even on love and hip hop. Oh, okay. When he started kind of. Okay. Okay. Gotcha.

He wasn't even a part of it. Wow. Okay. Yeah. So yeah, this started like when I met him, he was definitely not on it. Okay.

Was it you that brought him in on it? Was it what? Was it you that brought him in? it was it what was it you that brought him in no i think at one point he just got you know tight on money and decided to kind of like go after nikki baby gotcha for her so he can get on it as well okay yeah there's a motive i stopped watching everything i stopped watching love and hip-hop after you and rich dollars broke up really yeah i was just like rich had a good run i will say that i thought you guys were so cute i would say this he believed in me but he

was one of those guys that he was easily influenced like anybody could tell him anything yeah so at one point people were like telling him like she's just using you blah blah mind you it's like i don't have to use you i'm talented like you're a manager if you're smart enough we're co-stars what the fuck is in front of you and you would you know not think relationship and think fucking business i and i still to this day tell them that all the time i'm like had you not believe what the fuck people were trying to make you believe whether it was production or like outside people yeah me and you probably could have made a killing together in the business because like one thing rich at one point had was good tactics on how to like he he helped you know spiral cassie's um you know

career and he's you know responsible for a lot of other people and he was even managing olivia at one point um but he just believed whatever the fuck people told him and it started to put a bad taste in his mouth about me the mother got involved and you know yeah it was just weird it was like you know everyone wanted me to be this person that was using him and it's like um i don't have to use you i'm i'm that i'm fucking talented whether you see it or not like this bitch got something going here like i know but i feel like you guys genuinely had love for each other like we did but at the same time he just did a lot of shiesty shit for storyline oh to hurt me and like you know like that's like even with him teaming up

with with with sin it was like, he despised that girl. And then all of a sudden, to bring me down, they both, when me and her were on the outs, it was like, they got together to kind of go at me, which, whatever, was a great storyline. But yeah. And then as far as Sin, what sucks about that is there was a lot of truth that came out with her

that Rich kind of brought on camera but they edited out because she was the the one that um how you say they wanted people to feel what they feel about her what do you think they feel like her being this innocent woman that you know i went after her and i took advantage of her and you know broke her heart mind you she had a man the whole time right wow and I was okay with that because it was like I this is this was at the time don't judge me but I knew she wasn't with a girl ever but I knew I liked it her yeah so had you been with women previous to her okay yeah I Yeah. I've been bisexual all my life. How old were you?

The first woman you got with? Oh, that's a good question. Um, I would say like 17 was my first girl. It was a relationship. We didn't do anything, but we just like made out all the time. And it was like a full on relationship. Like you guys were like girlfriends. High you know yeah yeah um i wasn't ever sexual until later on in the years but yeah that was my first girlfriend even the child's high school in the bronx

dominican girl yeah she's having flashbacks i love it so yeah um so the sin the sin situation I've always thought was a storyline it wasn't like it wasn't I really really liked it her but she had a boyfriend at the time yeah and I was just like keep him because in my mind I'm like he's not gonna be around long like yeah I'm your first girl let me show you what it's like this way you could come over here happily freely without with on your without us making a mess yeah you know like that was kind of my take on so you were gonna be mrs steal your girl and I pretty much was up until you know I don't know it's funny because. Cause I, to this day,

I'm like, I did everything I could for that girl to like set her up in the right way. Right. You know, like, um, I made sure her contract was kind of okay. Like they did right by her.

Like there's a lot of behind the scenes stuff that I did. You felt like you looked out for her. I was the one who like, you know, set up for us to do publications for us to like, um even you know decided like let's you know let's start some type of like t-shirt because we built a fan base you know just overnight and i was like let's capitalize on this so i well you guys i used my own money and started to make t-shirts with our our pictures on it and like we would sell it every week um love and hip-hop was airing and it was

like okay like let's and my plan was i'm gonna put the money up use this money and we can do like a real clothing line together yeah you know like i was already kind of like setting up our our future in a way like a real daddy i mean you guys were both two beautiful women yeah and that got together on reality tv yeah and i really went after her like i really really genuinely liked her and this was in a time when people weren't having same-sex relationships on tv so that was something new and i think that's why too it resonated so loudly where people were at first at first we got backlash because people were like you you shouldn't be faking and i was like oh if you only know it's not fake yeah you know but um yeah

i really really liked her it's just with her i don't think she was come like she started it was more of an insecurity of like um erica and sin like she kind of felt like you know she wasn't the bigger i don't know so it became like a competition like i think that's what it where it's where it went left for her honestly genuinely I really really do because it was like Eric and sin Eric and sin Eric and sin and at one point I remember we had an argument

and she was like why is it never sin and Eric and that's when it went light bulb oh that's where all this is kind of coming from and then you know before you knew it it was like she was just trying to find everything wrong with me but it's what a crazy way to look at it though instead of just being like you know what i'll be the you're in your masculine energy she was in her feminine

i definitely was in my masculine energy like yes like somebody's got to be the man in the relationship so let me leave exactly but that's how i am with all my females i tend to be the man yeah so yeah i i believe it yeah i tend to be so um so yeah that's kind of where we went left and then before you knew it the producers got wind of that and and they and they rolled with the punches of like okay yeah like the drama yeah so and then you know it worked to her benefit because mind you i came on loving hip-hop as the villain so right you know it worked to her benefit because mind you i came on loving hip-hop as the villain so you know people already have that mentality that that uh how do you trust people in this business when everything is a fucking storyline once okay i came on the narrative was i'm the bad guy the audience like is set on that i'm that's what they they've

been seeing all this time that's what they were made to believe so that's what it's been and it's still to this day has been that right that's why you know um the the youtuber was able to run with so back to safari yeah like but that's why okay so and and and it's funny because i want people to remember that because of how i came in and that whole narrative of being the bad guy and like the crazy girl and this and that that has been stuck to me like glue since i started right it's kind of like the scarlet letter it doesn't matter what real life shit happens, whether I'm at fault or not. People want to believe that. So when you deal with someone, I think also, though, you have always showed how strong you are, that people are like, oh, Erica, I'll get over it.

You know, and that's not fair to you. That's really not fair to you, especially when you go through. And the more we uncover the layers of this relationship this is an abusive relationship that this man is creating a narrative and painting a narrative and that's what narcissists based off of my how you call that reputation yes my reality show reputation once a narcissist loses control of his supply he controls the narrative and that's what i've been watching happen with you guys and you and i have been talking for months about this entire situation and you finally have just gotten

to a point where you're just like i'm not gonna keep letting this man paint me as this bad human you know because he did an interview with jason lee eight months ago can we bring that eight months ago this year yeah this very year eight months ago. Yeah, he did this interview. This was before he decided to be a YouTuber. Right. Of course. Yes. What the?

So they brought him a cake out, and this was a divorce cake. Divorced as fuck? And in this divorce cake, he is talking to Erica, which I thought was so weird. Listen, I'm only blowing this because it's on fire. I'm not celebrating being divorced because I love my children's mother and my kids still, no matter what the situation may be. But God, just keep blessing every union that I'm a part of, friends, family, everybody. You know, this cake is starting to look like a person

that I could vent to. I appreciate you for where you've taken me in life. You know, we have a connection that somehow we just can't let go of. And I really think you're an amazing person individually. We may not be good for each other right now, but at one point in life, we could be. And I love you.

I care about you. And no matter what, I got your back. Cake is vegan, too. Go ahead and pause it right there. So this was eight months ago. This was eight months ago. So let's circle back. You guys ended up... This was around months ago this was eight months ago let's circle back you guys and this was around

the time he was shooting for um the villain show that he's on um and let's just the whole time he was there he was like um when i come home i promise this time like mind you this has been a reoccurring thing right so that's what i to say. Let's paint this picture because this was eight months ago. So after he courted you for three years, you finally gave in and decided to, you know, be with this man. You guys had pretty much like a short lived marriage, correct? Very short. It was, you got, you guys got together, what, 2019?

We got married 2019. Was together 20. We had our daughter. Pandemic. You know, we were stuck together. Um, yeah. And then 2022, we officially divorced and a week after our divorce, this man calls me hysterically crying, right. Claiming he wanted to hurt himself because he made the biggest mistake of his life. And this is all public record. You guys have had a pretty, I don't want to use the word sloppy, but pretty intense. It was intensely sloppy divorce.

And, you know, it's two people that are hurt. Obviously, you guys had a very passionate thing. You guys, you know, two beautiful babies have came from this situation, you know, and it doesn't have to be like this. You know, he seems eight months ago to be singing your praises so can you tell us what has transpired since oh my god a lot what a lot yeah i mean there's just so much to to tell because it's been three years of this but um we got divorced in 2022. A week after we got divorced, he called me hysterically crying, claiming he wanted to like hurt himself because he made the biggest mistake of his life.

And I remember that day so vaguely because literally it the way he was hysterically crying on the phone and, you know, pouring his heart out. on the phone and you know pouring his heart out i felt like because i'd be lying if i said when i initially filed for divorce that i really wanted the divorce i didn't i filed for divorce with the intention of him getting his shit together and calling his bluff yeah what was the reasoning what did he need to get together what was his shit together and calling his bluff yeah what was the reasoning what did he need to get together what was his shit that he needed um i won't get into detail of it too much but i found out he was cheating on me the first time ever um and he was going to Chinese parlors. Not the old rub and tug.

Damn it. In the dark. Old women. Damn it. No. Oh, Safari, come on. And when I found that out, I was completely obviously disgusted,

heartbroken, going through. Well, didn't Nicki Minaj say that he was paying for hookers with her credit cards? Before we get into that? Can I just, cause we, we are talking on the subject of her. I owe her the biggest apology ever.

I owe her an apology because like a lot of us, women tend to do when we don't know any better, especially when we're hard, deep rats warped into the love bombing phases. The red flag that us women tend to ignore when a man sits there and talks to you about his ex and all the things you did to him. and all the things she did to him and it's funny how life comes full circle because the same thing he did to her he's doing to me years later I remember him pouring his heart out to me about all the stuff she did to him showing me videos of her reacting and at the time your love you're in a love bomb I didn't think to ask well what did you do to her right you're just showing me all this stuff that

he she's doing she's how she's reacting right why does this man always have videos of these women exactly and now mind you this is a video he was at one point going around i found out later on um he was going around the industry showing to like around the time he was trying to bring her down when he was lying to people saying that he wrote for her like literally saying whatever he could to like kind of ruin her career that's and take her credibility for her real hard-earned work and what is the video of she was chasing him and i won't get into too detail because i don't feel like you know yeah being that i'm in her shoes now i feel like she's owed the respect to like i don't

but come to find out he had broke the laptop that had her pink Friday album on it on purpose. And then videoed her reaction. And of course she went fuck off. Yeah. He's recording it. So rewind, fast forward to me being with him. I'm down to the mother partaking and agreeing in these conversations.

Oh my God, she's the devil. She did all this stuff. So anyway, I owe this woman an apology because I sat there and allowed him to talk to her about, talk about her to me. talk about her to me. And from that came me saying things and like defending and vouching for him and speaking up on her in a way that was tacky. Because at the end of the day, I didn't know the truth, especially not the truth that I know now. And we do that. A lot of women do that they get caught up with a man and he's so good to you that you allow him to gossip to you about his ex you get manipulated yeah and they and they never tell you what they did they just tell you what they did and how crazy she is and she did this and she did that that's called reactive I owe her such an apology because it's so crazy how life

it's not crazy it's just life but it comes full circle it tables always turn everything she has ever said about him is true everything that she had went through with him i'm going through it worse you know um like you said she definitely aired him out for paying prostitutes with her credit card yeah um i think well first he cheated on me going to a parlor and how i found out but it's completely embarrassing how how did you find out but before you go into that i just want to say i think that is so big of you to apologize to Nikki like yeah I do and I feel like a lot of other people I feel like anyone who would whoever sided with him during that time that they broke up because he was really like he taunted her so this not too long ago before he came at me for the

YouTube he taunted her by going to her concert can you pull that up for us can you put safari at nikki minaj concert like i think i thought this was the weirdest thing i've ever seen it was weird because you're saying that you're going there to make because you're proud of her so why didn't you sit in a box yeah calm cool collective watch the show like a normal person no he went there with So why didn't you sit in a box? Yeah. Calm, cool, collective. Watch the show like a normal person. No, he went there with vlogging everything. Yeah.

And then had the nerve to stand, I think, in the middle of the stairs so everybody could see he was there. And somebody videoed it. He went there to make a shit show fucking appearance. He went there to get a headline. A headline. And to provoke her knowing she's moved on she's married she has a family every chance you get to talk about her you do yeah it has not stopped yeah since you guys have broken up yeah and he does it every time for clout and attention him going to this concert was for one reason and one reason only.

He wanted her to react in some way. Right. We're going to pull up the clip right now so that you guys can see it. Sorry, we have an ad. No, you're good. Like, here it is you're not even in a seat it looks like he's in the bleachers where's where's he sitting you could definitely tell he was not a guest then you have and then

you have eight security because you know you're not supposed to be there right it's it's weird it's definitely this was weird and this is the thing this is what i don't understand about people it's like okay so first it was her that he taunted for i guess subscript subscribers and attention for his youtube now that he's a newfound YouTuber. Right. He got the social media viral conversation that he wanted. But it wasn't enough traffic for his YouTube. So now all of a sudden, he wants to speak up on why he's being a deadbeat. So how did you find out that he was going to these rub and tugs?

This is where people can understand where the fuck your anger is coming from yeah because that's a heavy situation while you're pregnant and to have to go and confront the man that you love so because so people are like oh um well you filed for divorce while you were pregnant and i'm like oh yeah so any other woman in their right mind would have filed for divorce so that's kind of how I found out and I kind of like went the fuck off I remember that I was just like what is going on like what is this like so he wasn't just doing rub and tugs he was actually having sex with these people clearly wow and from what I gather because I did my homework and it's funny because it's the

same a week later that he confessed this this same rub-a-tug place was on the news in atlanta for being shot up okay so this makes perfect sense because in that jason lee video uh interview he talks about how atlanta was a dark place for him yeah probably was because he was going to these parlors and and what i did my research they were all old women oh god and it's in the dark oh so you don't even know what you're getting or what it looks like or anything it's just in the dark and that's fucking scary that's that's like a glory hole literally so with that being said and and i'll take full accountability i do have to take accountability because with him my mind was not stronger than my feeling. And my boundaries was absolutely not stronger than my sympathy. I love this man so madly that even with all the bullshit,

because he's been allowed to come back so many fucking times. You loved him more than you loved yourself. I wouldn't say that, but because I, see the way I love, I love so fucking hard that I'm not letting go that easily. Right. You know, and that's, that's a flaw I have. And I love the fuck out of me but what i love i love so it's like is it a flaw it is to a certain extent because i have to learn which i have with him one to let go a lot sooner you know, cause like letting go someone you love, like the way I feel it is so,

it kills me, even though I know this is not good for me, it kills me. So that's where I was at with it. And after I found out and he confessed, you know, um, what he confessed. I remember calling his mom and confiding in her. And that's kind of where our relationship went left, just because, oh, does that woman make excuses? Well, she's probably the reason why he is the way he is. It's absolutely the reason why he is the way he is. And I know that because, you know, with our daughter, it was during the pandemic and he would be jealous of the way I always had to breastfeed her you know like the baby always has to be on

you oh she's still on you and then just the way I'm so affectionate with my baby oh no one ever hugged and kissed me like that when I was so little little things that he would say like that resonated with me. And that's why, too, I made sure to, like, go up and beyond. I would cook, clean, and oh, my God, the type of affection I would give him. There was nothing I wouldn't do for him. You know, like, he would ask me something,, there was never a time I would say no, like, oh my God. Right. Um, so anyway, um, where was I at? Uh, we were talking about why you filed for divorce. So yeah, I called the mother and like, you know, asked, you know,

told her and she made this shit, like shit load of excuses for him, everything, but taking, having her son take accountability or her even you know coming out to maybe speak to him in person or whatever so anyway I decided to get counseling for us and we started doing marriage counseling and then before you knew it you know things things just. Was the counseling working at all? It was for a little bit, but then we started like doing construction on our house. And he didn't really know much about.

So things were becoming extremely hectic. And the responsibility of that, I think, you know, kind of just made him like you know feel extremely overwhelmed um next you know he just the cheating just became never ending like that's when he started cheating on me with the the to me version Erica Mena that he eventually brought on the show um and and and it just never stopped and it was he didn't care if it was on the blogs he didn't care if it was you know so at that point it was just like okay after like the third three girl I was just like I'm I'm gonna file for divorce so I filed for divorce um and it sucked for me because I when I when he confessed the whole you know going to the parlor thing he grossed me out but at the same time the way he was just crying hysterically and like saying how

sorry he was and that you know something was wrong with him. I took it as, this is my husband. It's for better, for worse. In marriages, shit happens. I can either run from this or I can do my job, do my part as a wife and stick by my man. And let's go through this in secret behind closed doors and deal with it. So that's what I did. I decided to still be with him

even after that happened but the cheating just didn't stop it was like just one it's like it was like yeah like one disrespect after the other oh my god it just was never ending and I was I was pregnant with legend and it was so bad to the point you know even after our house got robbed this man was so scared to be in the house with him and his children his wife and his children he got a hotel and even even later on I found out in the divorce he even bought another house hadn't I had no idea but like left me in the house that just got robbed because he was too scared to stay there but it was good enough for me and the kids to stay there and you know just taunted me when I tell you

the cheating was just never ending and it was all public and you know and I'm just eating shit eating shit sticking by like I am going through this divorce and and as time went on, I was just like, okay, so I didn't make the right decision. I thought when I fought for divorce, he would wake up. When I fought for divorce, it got worse. He cheated on me with everybody and anybody he possibly could. It's just. And it's sick because these women that he was dealing with knew he was married. And it just was like, no shame. I feel like all of us women have been in

relationships like this that we all have one nightmare relationship where we can completely relate to you and the anger and the just absolute like feralness that comes with after you have just been beat down emotionally beat down uh verbally beat down sometimes physically it unleashes an animal in you that is really hard to explain unless you've you've been through that and the rage that comes from that sort of thing because you're one you're embarrassed two you're you know it's embarrassment humiliation you've got these babies. You're also going through postpartum. Oh my God, it was horrible. This is the lowest part of your life.

It was bad. Like I was literally ovulating at 29 weeks. I was like two centimeters open. It got so bad. One time he had went out with one of our cast members and was just gyrating with some girl and it was all over the blogs I woke up one day and I just lost it I'm like this man literally violated me and put me in jeopardy but he doesn't stop and i'm pregnant and i'm like so i saw this all over the blogs this one particular incident i went crazy i literally took all because he's a materialistic

person so i already knew what to do to get back at him and it wasn't right but at the same time i just lost it um it's called reactive abuse yeah so i lost it put all his sneakers in a big garbage pan um can and i just put paint on it and it was a great little release but even that it was just like it was just never ending and he purposely just put me through hell forever like it was just non-stop at one point i was literally and this was all documented on Love & Hip Hop. I was literally in the hospital by myself, wired up, them keeping track of the baby because I was ovulating so early. I finally gave birth at 32 weeks.

And three days after Legend was born, he decided to go to Jamaica with his friend's ex-girlfriend bounty killer's ex-girlfriend out of all people to spend his birthday this is just so hurtful and you're just lying in bed and i'm just having to watch this and at that point and this is the whole and this is the stuff that mind boggles me about people it's like okay you guys how soon like because people have short-term memory to do this it's hard to keep up life goes on right but this is the same man that's been moving like a deadbeat from the time his last born was born

legend was still on feeding tubes in the NICU I was having to drive an hour because where I gave birth at the hospital was an hour away and our house was another and we had Sapphire who was just turned one so I had to court I had to like literally switch out days and nights all by myself the mother didn't fly in the sister didn't fly in it was just friends of mine and his brother at the um, his wife at the time that was helping me. My manager came in at one point, like just, you know, people that could help me was flying in to handle Sapphire so that I can go to the hospital pump and just kind of be there with the baby, give him, you know, like skin to skin as much as possible. And the whole time he's in Jamaica,

like skin to skin as much as possible. And the whole time he's in Jamaica living his best life, gyrating his hips, like as if he didn't just have a baby who's still in the NICU literally. So I dealt with all of that. This man has no sense of responsibility whatsoever. And like, he doesn't have a heart. And this is before the whole YouTube fabricated.

Yeah. And we're getting there. He puts together. It's like it goes way even before that. Like Legend was not even out of the hospital. And it's funny because the day he left that

I last saw him, he was supposed to bring up the car seat. Because, you know, I just gave birth. You're not supposed to carry things heavy, whatever. He told me he was going to go get the car seat and never came back. Never came back. It wasn't until I saw him on his Instagram in Jamaica that I even. So, yeah, it's it's sick. And then when I called the mama. Like. I'm engorged. I have this baby here, like tell him come home, like what's going on, like, you know what she told me to this day, I just like I it all by yourself, too. You were mistreated by his dad or whatever.

How you can put this together to tell a woman that your son just married and just she just gave birth to your grandson. She's literally. I was at my weakest point. So vulnerable. Out of it. Obviously embarrassed. Hurting. Not only postpartum, but heartbroken. Because of all the shit your son's putting me through. I'm calling you to ask you to please, like, do something. Get him, like, tell him to come home.

You know, mind you, yeah, I did file for divorce. but still, like, these babies, they're still here. Like, yeah, we're going to. Or just have a heart. She literally told me, good thing you filed for divorce. You won't have to deal with him much longer. Is what she told me. Literally. And I just remember, because I know, obviously, being around them long enough, I know the Jamaican

slang, I literally told her, I was like, the fact that you can tell me that while your son is living his life right now as a complete waste man, and in Jamaican culture, a waste man is like, life right now as a complete waste man and in jamaican culture a waste man is like the bottom on the bottom right right she didn't like the message so from then our relationship just kind of has been whatever but for her to even tell me something like that it was just like come on woman you obviously you have no respect for me either so it is what it is and with all due respect yeah and you also you I should have really said you raised a waste man which I probably have at some point yeah and also you know it's there's just so much here to unpack and oh my god I don't even know what like there's so much it's crazy that like how do we put this in soundbite so that my voice gets key.

We got, we got this. Cause I'm like, there's just so much stone. There's so much pain here. And the fact that people can even look at the situation inside with this man is it mind boggles me. And I, and like I said, I got to take accountability because I just wasn't strong enough. I, I, this has been going on and on because I let it, I have to take accountability because I just wasn't strong enough. I, this has been going on and on because I let it,

I have to take accountability in that. Absolutely. To the point that he was allowed to do this. But that doesn't mean that you deserve this. No. But at the same time, like I took him back too many times to count. Right.

You know, like it's, it's just not like I allowed it to be to this point and even now it's a six so okay so then you know that all happened and then here we are legend you know turns one he's nowhere to be found but it's funny because anytime you guys have ever seen this man really be with the kids it's because he's in the process of trying to get his family back which means we're kind of on decent terms right which is was this about eight months ago that this that you guys were still on good terms when he did this particular podcast yeah he was he had just got done filming the villain show right and the whole time he was filming anytime he got his phone he

was facetiming sorry he was facetiming me right and swearing up and down like when i come home i swear this time is different you know even when he won he was like i won i'm gonna use this 200k and i'm gonna i going to buy you another ring and we're going to do this again. And blah, blah, blah, blah. And I love you so much. He like, you gave me my kids. There's nothing. I'm going to make it up to you. I'm so sorry. I swear. I'm going to prove to you, girl, I have text messages. I have videos. I have just like he can, like, I could too. Like I wish we had time for all the messages that I wish you guys could read because this man when I tell you when he goes through that that moment of like trying to get me back

the way he pours his heart out in text messages with his words and then how he does his gestures sending flowers buying me jewelry like it's just it's just intense and then he'll come over to my house and you know won't leave he'll act like he's coming to get the kids but won't leave things like that um it's just it's it's been non-stop since the time we officially got divorced so we got divorced in 2022 and the week after we got divorced he that's when it really started like he would you know claim how um he wanted his family back and that he was going to hurt himself and and this one particular call the week after we got divorced was so intense I really believed him that he that I you know you loved him yeah so

and obviously with my experience of what he did you know when I was pregnant I knew he needed help you know and even though I should have ran my I loved him so much that I was just like this is just our story like Like, it's this way. Toxic fairy tale. Yeah. And, like, I'm going to get him right. Like, I'm going to, we're going to get this together. Especially because the way, when our love was good, it was good.

Like, Safari is so funny. He's charming. He's a, like, great spirit when he's great. And in that, you know what I mean? Like, that's why I was friends with him too for so long. Like, I didn't want him for so long. But then when I first, like, when I realized, like, there was, because trust me, everything I could do in my power

to scare this man away, I did. I remember one time I invited him to come to Cancun I had a friend of mine's had like uh bought me a trip for my birthday and I was there by myself and I like last minute just decided man let me have him come when I tell you he came the next day no hesitation was drunk. I was acting a fool. When I tell you, I literally treated this man like a peasant. Like, here, grab my bags. Here, I'm drunk.

Carry me to the room. Like, there was nothing. Like, I just abused this man. Like, I knew he liked me so much. But in reality, I was just like, he likes me. I'm just, I don't like him. I'm just not going to take it serious. And I'm just going to give him a hell. And nothing scared him away. It scared him away it was and trust me I did everything in my power to discuss him you know I probably even

threw up that trip because I was so wasted he he nurtured me cared like there was no getting rid of this man so anyway um because he didn't let me or leave me alone. And I know what it is like to be with him because when he's into you, he's very attentive. He goes all out. He's so romantic. The way he can text you and get your panties wet, the way he's just so romantic, just in general, he's super like into you. He makes you feel like he is going to do anything he can to level up your life you know like he does what he needs to do oh my god he can sell

a fucking dream and then because he's funny he's charming and and all of these things, it's kind of like, once you're swarped, you're swarped by him. It's bad. Like, it's so bad because he has that gift. But the gift he has, he's not using it. You know what I mean? The women that are listening to this that have been through this know exactly what you're talking about. Oh, my God, he's so good. You're preaching to your crowd here. He is good.

Like, so it doesn't matter. And the sex is always fucking phenomenal. Oh my God. That's like out of this world. This man devours me and does everything in his power to please me. Right. This man will literally beg for fluids of me just because he's like, I want all of you. Yeah.

And as weird as it is, you see it in his eyes. You're like, okay. And you give in and then you're like, this is the weirdest shit ever. But this is like, that's how deep he dives into you. It's consuming. And before you know it, you're fucking consumed. And because when it comes to sex, girl,

he goes all the fuck out yeah like all the fuck out to please that man can like literally he can turn probably a butch lesbian straight given the opportunity because he dives deep yeah and there's nothing he won't do to satisfy you yeah so with all of that it didn't matter how much shit he did in the past when he goes after you and when he would go after me all of that shit disappear and i forget about it and i'm remembering and i'm just indulging in the now it's a cycle oh my god it's a never-ending. And it's funny because he knows my weaknesses. He also knows, even though I should say, even though he does everything in his power to like, please me, um, cater to me, shower me. He also knows how to trigger. Right. And when he's bored, triggers. And that's always been the up and down. Oh, my God.

There's a lot that he does to like trigger me. And it's sick because he does it because he knows. So like there's times where I'm just like, why are you doing this to me? Like enough is enough. Like you even X, Y, and Z. Oh, I didn't do that to you. Shit like that. Oh, that'll drive me into a fucking blind rage.

And it's like, he'll deny it. And then there's times, and it's crazy because most abusers try to rewrite history. Oh my God. So he'll do things, right? And then he'll set me off. And and because and this is really the core of it he's the non-confrontational confrontation confrontational person passive aggressive stirs up so much confrontation but has has this cool laid-back demeanor about it so he'll set me off he'll he'll he'll violate me and disrespect me I'll go off and then I'm feeling sorry that I went off when it's like I have a right to go off

but because he doesn't you know react and loves my react but indulges in the way i react he won't react and go crazy but i will and then it's me feeling sorry and then i end up apologizing for things that i shouldn't be apologizing for and then it's like it's okay i know i know i know you're hot-headed i know you're an emotional um what is this thing i know you're very um you're uncontrolled you're you you. I know you're an emotional, um, what is this thing? I know you're very, um, you're uncontrolled. You're you, you don't know. Unstable. There you go. I know you're emotionally unstable. And for a while they get you so flustered too, that like, you don't even know your words. Cause I've been in relationships for a while. It's like, is it me? I got into a relationship where i was in a relationship

where i had to record what he would say to me in arguments because whenever i would react he would say i didn't say that and i finally got to a point where i was like yes you did and i would hit play and then have to and then that's when that was the the beginning of the end because i wouldn't let him manipulate and lie anymore. Right. Right. It's really sick with these people. Yeah.

I wish I was smart enough for that. I just got to a point where I was like, motherfucker, I know I'm not crazy. Because I would be like, wait, like you, you did X, Y, and Z. This is why I'm feeling the way I'm feeling. And then he'll be like, well, you have to let it go. And at one point. No. He wanted us. point no he wanted to disrespect me to get back with him like this man will camp out at my house and in front of my kids beg for me

back that to this day my daughter's a little confused and she kind of blames me like like you broke up with daddy that's why i don't have a daddy at in my house and he would literally be on his knees like please just take me back look at our kids look at our family please i'll do whatever it takes and then he'll go to sapphire sapphire tell mommy not to break up with me and she'll just be there like come on mommy let's be know, like he knows all those, like those times in my living room, how he would literally, and it's sick because even in the video that he used on YouTube, he used with his sister being the fool to film it. There's a clip where he shows my daughter hysterically crying how she doesn't want to come back home to my house.

And it's sick because it's like you know why she's crying so can we she knows she's not gonna see you for a long time because she's used to it already therefore she doesn't want to leave you she's obsessed with her daddy and he does not give her an opportunity to really have time with him. So anyway, it's been back and forth of him just for three years of him just trying to get back with me on numerous occasions. I will start dating. He'll get wind. And next thing you know, it's him sending me videos of him playing with himself, watching our old scenarios. And then it's the him pouring his heart out to me. I'm sorry. And it's like, you know, I'm talking to someone right now. You know what I'm saying? Cause it's like, I've been trying to move on with my life for a long time. But any time he finds out that I'm like dating someone.

It's him coming back, buying jewelry or, you know, acting like he's coming to pick up the kids. And then for him not and then he doesn't leave. You know what I mean? And then for him not, and then he doesn't leave, you know what I mean? Or, you know, and that's really what it comes down to now that, you know, in May of this year, I had enough. I had enough, enough, enough. we haven't been together in that way because the person that I became, okay, there's just so much to unfold with this, but, um, I think you're doing a great job.

There's just so much to talk about it's just people need to hear your truth i was on a date last year oh let's talk about this the type of shit i deal with that triggers me let's go back to the triggering part. He was using this Miami girl character for a storyline, which he confessed he only did because he wanted to prove to me that he didn't need me to be on Love & Hip Hop. So anyway, he decides to kind of fake like this Miami girl character that's on Love & Hip Hop Miami and um at that time he was about six months behind purposely in paying child support now mind you I'm still on

Love and Hip Hop at this point but I have the kids he's on Love and hip-hop in Miami and he's only 30 minutes away he wasn't using his weekly parenting time and he was months at least at this time he was like six months behind on um paying child support anywho I'm thugging it I'm flying with the kids to him from my um from Miami to Atlanta to film and and you know kind kind of do what I'm contractually binded to do. Right. Next you know, it goes viral. He's buying this chick's kids Rolexes. He's literally deliberately buying another man's children Rolexes.

And has this whole drawn, they have this whole drawn out birthday party for these kids right mind you this man is six months right behind on child support hasn't seen the kids is indulging in this whole storyline that he even admitted he was just doing so that he can prove that he didn't need me to be on love and hip general. Which he also said that they've never even had sex, right? Girl, that whole, like, I don't know who's worse, him or her, when it comes to that whole scenario. Like, she's just as desperate as he is.

Because I'd be damned if a man who doesn't even have real intentions for me is going to be using my kids as some, like, as some, I don't even know what you call it, but it sick on her part yeah like pawns like as a mom you're you you're allowing your kids first birthday to be a staged scenario so that it could look like this man is about you when really in reality isn't attracted to you you know what i'm saying like anyway so um it goes viral of course i'm gonna say something you haven't seen your kids and how much and you're purposely not paying your child support on time to spite me to financially you know be an asshole is what you're trying to do right so things like that he's he does to trigger me right i'm just saying i don't understand how

people can't see that he's poking the bear and even when i was pregnant he was dating the to me version of of me right for valentine's day he he fills up this girl's small little apartment with flowers, the same thing he used to do with me. Didn't bring pampers. Like literally when I filed for divorce, buying pampers, buying clothes, none of this was being done. So when you know your kid's father financially can buy extravagant gifts for these random women after you just had two of his kids back to back and he doesn't even drop off a box of Pampers. Who in their right mind is not going to put that on child support? That's the reason why Safari is on child support. Because when I filed for divorce, he never once thought for a second, let me drop off pampers.

Let me see if the kids need clothes. Let me, what do the kids need in general? Never, never asked what these kids needed. So I knew if it was like this already, it was going to get worse. And it did. So therefore, when it was time to finalize our divorce i made it mandatory that child support was implemented which my first kid father wasn't on child support but he also did what the fuck he had to do but which is not a bad thing that's why child support is implemented in the court system yeah but at the same time if this man fuck if we're together or

not these kids are your kids right If he was riding for these kids, the way he rides for whatever woman he's fucking on for the moment, we would be so good because regardless to what you, there are baby mamas out there that don't have to talk shit or say anything about their baby daddies. Why? Because they do what the fuck they have to do. There are baby mamas that live a good life of not having to talk ill on their baby daddies whatsoever.

Because these men are doing what they have to do. Not all, but a lot of them do. I don't consider you talking ill. You're telling the truth. So are you not allowed to speak your truth? In order to save his reputation? And that's what it's been. you not allowed to speak your truth and that's in order to save his reputation that's what it's been and that's why so like a crock of shit how everyone's like oh he's been quiet for so long

he's been quiet for so long because he cannot deny anything i have said about him up until him randomly now having this new youtuber found urge where he can edit shit that he started and and and stirred up you know what i'm saying and let's talk about these videos can we bring up these videos mimi that um we have of erica climbing over the fence that's my girl climbing over the fence and then um also like trying to get into his house and then the only thing i do didn't agree with in here and i understand that this is where your rage is coming from is the babies are seeing all of this yeah that one yes so okay so let's break this down yeah what's happening in this clip right here okay so pause wait pause because i'm gonna get to that

yeah um keep that there because i want to show you i want to tell you this goal this goes along what's happening in this clip right here. Okay. So pause, wait, pause. Cause I'm gonna get to that. Yeah. Um, keep that there. Cause I want to show you, I want to tell you this goal, this goes along with the, um, climbing the fence.

So anyway, that first initial video, um, I had went to his house to pick up the kids. I had just came back from a work trip, um, came to pick up the kids. Um,

prior to getting there, he was telling me how he finally had some money for me um so at one of the moments of him trying to get back with me he came up with this idea of putting the kids in some type of schooling daycare right um so that we could have more time together to fix things and build on us without the kids being around. I fell for it. So I did my homework and I ended up finding a Montessori school. Me and him went to the Montessori school, checked it out together.

The lady told us how much it cost. He agreed to take on that expense. Come time to pay the school, Safari had the nerve to tell me, I pay child support, take it out of that. So here I am now, left with this newfound expense that I wasn't prepared, prepared to take on. But this is the route you want to go?

You fucking cheap motherfucker? No problem. Oh, you pay for it in child support? Mind you, I'm not even going to give a breakdown of that but anyway cool please do spare us no detail please so anyway i've been taking on this new expense of the kids going to this montessori school um on my own after he told me he would take this on now he did this because this is around the time, like after when it was time for him to pay up, I wasn't trying to fuck on him. So anytime I'm not trying to fuck on him,

anything he said he was going to do, he ain't doing. Him seeing the kids is not even a question. Like if I'm not trying to fuck on him or ignore what he did and kind of, you know, go with the flow and just act like we're getting back together. That's always his MO. He doesn't he won't he won't do anything extra outside of child support. And he's damn sure not picking up these kids. That's just what it's been from from the jump. So anyway, I get to the house and he's telling me, I got a surprise for you. And I'm like, what is it?

And he tells me he has the money for the school, for the school. I get there. I did take a nap, right? I get, because I live like 30, 40 minutes away. Mind you, just like I said, I just landed. I'm exhausted. So I take a little nap. I get up, and next thing you know, he tells me how he wants to talk.

I'm like, okay, let's talk. He found out that I had a guy that I was hanging out with when I was on my work trip. that I was hanging out with when I was on my work trip so his initial was like oh so this is what we're doing like I'm over here with the kids and I'm trying to make things better and and I'm just like we're not the call is coming from inside the house safari so anyway i'm like how does it feel i'm like leave me alone so anyway it's he starts to get in his feelings and then he goes you know what why don't you ask him to give you the money i was gonna give you the money oh god that started the argument and then from there, him saying other nasty shit. So that initial, sadly, whatever, was. And they just happened to be recording at this moment.

Well, he has cameras in his house. Okay. What are the coincidence that now he wants to fuck with me and provoke me while I'm at his house, right? So he starts to, you know, say how he's not paying for it. And at that point, I'm not going to lie. I was set off because I'm carrying this expense that I did not inquire. Now, mind you, this was that was this year.

That was in May. The first one where shit is going down. That was in May. Right. Okay. was in may right okay um i got fired from love and hip-hop because he started a fabricated nasty story and was gossiping to me about another cast member me and that cast member got into it i said something that you know she she went low i went to hell and for that I lost my job so he is the reason the big reason why I lost my job but anyway this is that this is that year this is this year you're also carrying

years of just hurt yeah but my whole thing is you know I just lost my job yeah one of my main incomes you owe me this money because you're the one that wanted to put them into this facility right you literally are in your feelings every time i don't want to fuck on you so you refuse to give me the money that you said you would pay for these kids so now i'm taking on an expense that i did not originally i wasn't for. And I just lost my job because of you. Now, here I am at the house to pick up the kids. You get when I'm talking to someone or I was with someone the night before. Now you're saying you're not giving me the money you owe me. Right. I'm off. Yeah. I am ticked off. So I'm telling him, I'm like, explain to me what's going, like,

explain to me why you're not going to give me this money. You're the reason why. So I want answers. He's Mr. Not confrontation, confrontation. He knew selling me that he wasn't going to give me that money was going to set me off.

He knew that. And then for the, and it did hit for him. What did he do? He was going to call the cops on me. So what you see there is me. First of all, I'm pissed off. You owe me that money.

You owe me that money. Like a couple, like a good 10 bands that you owe me. Okay. He still owes me that money to this day. But anyway, and it's even more now because it's been that long so you tell me you're gonna pay me this money mind you this man has no problem buying himself jewelry this man has no problem buying random women that he's sleeping he just bought selena pal jewelry did he on his youtube i just saw i mean i didn't watch the video because i wasn't giving him the views but that's

the title of his she said did let me not let me not. No, I don't even care. I mean, at this point, I'm so used to it. Yeah. Like just a couple of months ago, he gifted the Miami girl a necklace. And I only seen that because that was viral. You know what I'm saying? It's like. It's sick. It's like. So this particular video, like I said, he taunted me with this money, then says he's not going to pay for it. Then I'm asking him to explain to him, explain to me why he starts to, you know, call the cops. I'm just over it. And yes,

that was completely wrong of me. And I take accountability for that. And that's the first and only time that has ever happened in front of my kids, which is why my kids literally followed me out. Yeah. They're, they're not scared of me. They've never seen me ever act like that in front of them ever, ever,

ever, ever, ever, ever, ever. It's never been that way. And how he's trying to make it seem like this happened never you can my kids are proof that they have never been around that and then in any kind of

way right you know did i lose my shit absolutely because enough is enough you're literally you you're the reason why i lost my job and here are, owing me all this money for something you, you inquired about. And you, like, this was your idea to put them into the school. You said you were going to pay for it. And because I'm not fucking on you the way and going about things the way you want it to be, now you don't want to pay what you said you were going to pay? Right. So it set me the fuck off. And then him having the nerve, now you want to call be now you don't want to pay what you said you were gonna pay right so it set

me the fuck off and then him having the nerve now you want to call the cops on me you want to call the cops on me and I have a video where I'm filming him myself so what you see there is I'm not trying to I'm not putting my hands I'm trying to get the phone from him so I could speak to the cops myself because at that point enough is point, enough is enough. Yeah. Enough is enough. But you know what's so crazy and sick about it all is a week after that happened, guess who's calling me again, begging to be back with me. And once again, sending me videos of him playing with himself, watching videos of us that he has. How much he misses me and he didn't so a week after that happened the

sick bastard was back trying to get back with me what is it with him whacking off in videos he if you if you've ever dealt with this man i don't think in any kind of way every girl that's ever dealt with him gets those videos it's and i know that because i'm loving hip-hop miami i've seen a clip one time the girl is outing him in front of the chick oh no talking about he sent me this video of him jerking himself and he's just a whack-a-mole he literally just he loves video he loves he loves himself he loves recording himself oiled up oh the visual he's oiled up no abs out no and for days it's his thing so any woman and I know any woman has ever dealt with him does he have the fur coat on that's all I want to know and any of them I've never received them with fur coats but maybe another woman has but that's just his mo but with me in particular it would be his

laptop open with videos of me that i've even sent him in the past you know because he's like he's one of those people like loves my tits so it's like send me a video with your tits and your tongue out imagine how many other girls videos he has like that oh i know first of all he has cameras all over his house so that any woman he sleeps with now he has on camera oh gosh it's just an automatic mo isn't that like a that's a charge isn't it i mean i'm well if you ever go to his house and you're busting it open just know there's there's cameras i mean he can legally have cameras in his house. Yeah, absolutely. So that's how he probably gets away with it. But I mean, there's even been times. Sorry, oiled up.

Yeah, oiled up. Oiled up, stroking it. And a week later, mind you, I'm on vacation. I'm in Tulum living my best life. And I fall for it again. Erica, what the fuck? Okay, listen, I could blame him for some stuff. But now I'm going to start holding you accountable, baby.

You know why? He is so good. This man has got you fired from your jobs. He has made you look like a fucking fool numerous times. What? And you just keep going back. Because it's the way he pours his heart out. And it's like, even though, you know, at this point, I know he has no heart and it's still you know what it is too it's like i didn't have these kids to be by myself i've already been down that road yeah so i think for a while up until may where i got and i'll get

into that where i actually was just like enough is enough yeah um I still had hope that he would just get his shit together. That he would change. You thought he would change. I get that. All of us women get that. Oh my God. It's like, like we are so like our connection.

Look what he was. He was talking to a fucking cake. Claiming that our connection was that. Cause it is. It was. It was that deep. you know what i'm saying like when a man devours you and your fluids and everything that comes with you it's like how can you not believe it i don't see this man do and drink and everything of me how can i not believe him right is that tmi you genuinely love him i did

i did are you so that video it's like are you still in love with safari no do you have love for him okay i don't have love for him anymore. And here's why. In May, after that whole thing happened, a week goes by. He's coming back. I came back from Tulum. And I indulge in him. And this is all in May now.

Two days later, I get a call from one of his friends. Well, actually a DM. And they asked me to call them. And it's actually a friend that he hangs out with to this day in Florida. And they called me with pure intentions. And I say this because this person is very close to him now. And this person is a standup guy. Doesn't get into the mess.

But he's a good guy. You can tell because of the way he he moves how he is with his own family so on so forth and he reached out to me and said listen I think it's fair that you know because I don't think it's fair what is being done and I'm like what's going on lord I know he's been trying to get back with you and he's been telling me that this time is for real and that he really and i and i've been vouching for him like like with it like i think he should make things right for him but now i'm getting nervous and i feel like you should know before you get caught up again and i I'm like getting nervous about what? So apparently he started bragging to this particular friend that he met this 20 year old girl.

That he's very interested in because quote unquote, she doesn't know who he is. because she's not in the industry, it will be easy for him to kind of tell her what he wants her to know and still be able to do what he wants to do. And Bunny, I instantly became so disgusted. It was the reality check that I needed after all this time. And what's so sick about it is that no matter, after everything this fucking man put me through, it was the fact that I am now being informed that this man is now going after girls that are the same age as his niece, his baby niece.

And he's in his 40s. You are a 43-year-old man. And now you're going after this 20-year-old girl because you know she doesn't know no better. And because what? You can now manipulate her because she's not in the industry so what that means you could tell her whatever it is you want to tell her she'll believe you and she'll play her position if she's into you enough or if you love bomb her enough and you could still do what you have to do so that means basically

you're here trying to quote unquote every other week trying to get your family back, but you also now have this agenda to go after a girl that doesn't know no better. A 20 year old girl. You know what that means? That means look what he did to me and I'm in my 30s. 20-year-old girl. You know what that means? Look what he did to me, and I'm in my 30s. I can't even imagine what he's about to do to a girl that's in her 20s that doesn't know any better.

Right then and there, I got sick to my stomach, and I realized that the person that I am, that I became in that very moment has to change everything moving forward like I'm the change like I am the one that's like in order for this because there's no changing him all he's going to do is break me apart keep setting me off using the fact that I love him to the core to chip away at me, to make me feel like there's something wrong with me every chance he gets. And that all he cares about is his next victim. And now there's no limits because now you're going after a girl that just started life. She has no idea at 20 years old. She has no idea what your kind is.

And I just became sick because it was like he has a niece. That he has been around for, you know, a baby niece that is the same age as this girl that now he's he was bragging that he's going to be pursuing. And that's when I realized I'm like. This is first not going to get any better to. He doesn't need help. And the help that he needs needs I'm not sticking around I have to help myself now to get over this and do what I have to do for these two babies on top of that I have a daughter so does he you know what it made me think about like imagine some guy going after my daughter at 20 years old because she's not in the

industry and she won't know any better so this friend actually saved my life shout out to the homie shout outs to the home and he still rolls with him to this day this is the first time i'm sorry if i try to be selective in my words so he won't know who you are but he put me onto game he's like he's going after this 20 year old girl and it's funny because not too long ago I was tagged in a blog where you see him pulling this young girl that looks like she's 15 it could be the 20 year old I'm guessing it is because that was in May, May, June,

July, August, September, October, November, December. Yeah, it probably is her.

But she looks like a child, a child. And in my mind, I'm like, not only is this pervert, like you're perverted, you're fucking sick. Yeah.

Well, I think that might, you have time. Yeah. And it well i think that might you have time yeah it's like that might trigger your childhood trauma also because that might have been what fucking yeah what happened to you oh my god when i tell you i just got instantly gross i can't handle when out yeah when men are tricks or like and i'm not saying that he's tricking off on her but that's my thing oh i'm sure he's tricking off on her, but that's my thing. Oh, girl, I'm sure he's tricking off on her. Ever tricked off on a girl and like if they're young and it's like, that's such a weird thing.

Well, it's funny you say the trick off part because this same friend told me how he, because I was just like, this is insane. I was on the phone with him for like an hour. And I'm like, you know what's so sad is like he runs through these women. And every time he gets a woman, like buys them jewelry right like that's his thing right I'm like he's never bought his own daughter a pair of earrings no a pair the diamond earrings my daughter and he's Mr. Jewelry Connoisseur my son doesn't have a chain on his neck from his daddy my daughter doesn't even have a pair of earrings on her in her ears from her daddy but yet apparently he bought that girl a pair of diamond earrings claiming that she brings him more peace than his daughter does which is fucking weird

what he's quoted saying that the the friend told me this oh my goodness because i was like why is it that he every time he finds a new broad he he gets them like, what is the tricking on the broad or someone else's kids? Like, what is that? He's just like, I don't know. But what he said, he said to me not too long ago that he had a pair of earrings for Sapphire, but he ended up giving it to the girl because she brings him more peace. And I'm just like, this is just it's Twilight Zone. Like people will never believe me. But being that this person wants to paint this narrative so it can deadbeat in peace this is why i'm like i'm like fuck it i'm let's just talk

about it well this man is really um a menace to society sick yeah like he's genuinely not a good human like that's a bad spirit sick to hurt somebody like this and his that's why it's let's talk about the situation with you climbing the ladder yes because when you told me this story it made complete sense to me i was like absolutely i would have done the same fucking thing so okay i'm gonna tell you the story and then i want you to go to me hopping the ladder and then I want you to come back to this if you can okay so I had a night out off he has the kids I'm in Carbone with this football player that I was dating um mind you this ladder thing was done last year. The other, the first one where I'm going crazy because of the schooling stuff, that was done this year.

That was in May, early May. This right here is last year. He's on Love & Hip Hop, so-called going after another woman, right? I'm living my life I start dating this football player really into him at the time he comes to town just to take me to Carbone and I go as you should right now obviously I know this information later on, this particular information, but he got wind. Someone at Carbone that knows him tells him, I'm at Carbone.

Does he have a tracker on you? No, but he knows a lot of people. Okay. Because I feel like he just knows everything. So like in Atlanta, he got wind because of someone from production because i brought the guy like it was like after set i kind of left with the guy so anyway this particular time um i'm at carbone i'm leaving he gets wind from someone that was there that i was there now I get dropped off

at home and I just started dating this guy so I wasn't going home with him but you know that's my business I get home like maybe one something in the morning I jump in the shower I'm getting ready for bed no kids I get a call from him Legend just fell off the bed and he's bleeding. Wait, what? Yeah, he fell off the bed and he's bleeding. Bleeding from where? Now, I know the kids have a bunk bed in his house, but I know he doesn't use the top bunk. So in my head, I'm like, how did he fall? I'm like trying to figure out like, so I'm like, where's he bleeding from? He goes, I don't know. I don't know. I'll call you right back. Okay. 10 minutes go by. He doesn't call me back. So as a mother, I'm like, I start calling him. What the fuck's going on? Is

he okay? At least, at least tell me he's okay. He doesn't pick up. I called him numerous times back to back to back. It's not picking up. So at that point, I'm like, I'll just go over there. Like, what the fuck? Like, I'm just going to go over there. So I drive over there. Now, mind you, he lives in a gated community. You cannot get into this community unless you're let in by the residents.

They let me in. Okay. I get to the door. And as can see I have pajamas on I was about to go to bed I have my sports bra I put some biker shorts on you know whatever like I was literally about to call it a night I get to the door I'm ringing the bell. No one answers. He has a transparent kind of door. I see him walking back and forth like he's looking right. Doesn't answer the door. So at that point, I'm like, this is fucking crazy. I'm like.

All the things that are going in my mind, I'm like, this motherfucker sees I'm at the door. Now, I know Safari has glass. All his backyard is all glass. So I'm like, I'm going to go to the back to look through and see what the fuck's going on. That gate was locked. He just so happened to be getting work done on his house at this time. This was last year. The convenience of the ladder.

The ladder was literally there waiting for me. It said, climb me. Like the fact that people think I drove a ladder. I, I rode with a ladder. Cause I like, I'm not going to lie.

The comments, I'm just like, are people this stupid? But they are. Common sense is not. He was actually getting work done on his house. Right. ladder was there there was fucking tools there the ladder was there the the gate was locked this motherfucker after calling to tell me my son fell from the bed right and is bleeding is not answering the door mind, he let me into the community.

So at that point, I'm just like, what the fuck is going on? Right. Why is he? But I see him walking back and forth. And at that point, as much as I probably should have known this motherfucker was playing with me, I wasn't.

I was just more concerned at what the fuck's going on. Why is he saying my kid? Mama bear. So the ladder was there. I used the ladder to hop the fence which that's a fucking g move that's a g move right like i would do the same thing you tell now go to the part that i told you before the other second part i get to the back

if can you zoom into my face I am concerned I am confused I am trying to figure out what the fuck is going on this is you knocking on the door right this is me knocking he's trying to and it's funny because he's been circulating like Joe Budden even mentioned this video on his podcast Safari has been sending people this video since it happened joking about it in the set and mind you everyone he has sent this video to but prior to him doing this youtube has gotten a different story on why but i mean it's the nikki minaj thing one exactly one person he told i was trying i think he even said in this video that i was trying to break into his house I think yeah he said he was trying mind you if someone is breaking into your house why wouldn't you call the cops why would you let them in from your gate guard gated community

you know like this look at my face can you zoom in anymore I am stressed I'm concerned I am not mad I am not raging I am trying I am stressed. I'm concerned. I am not mad. I am not raging. I am trying. I am confused and concerned. And that is clearly written all over my fucking face. My eyebrow is literally touching my fucking hairline. Can you believe this bastard comes to the door finally?

Literally, you're crazy. you really came here and laughing at me laughing at me you're crazy off you really came here that's the stuff i was talking about like triggering yeah that would set me off i'd have been like you just called me and said our son split his head open and is bleeding like what and didn't answer the phone I thought he was going to the hospital purposely didn't answer the phone because he knows my mind starts first of all my kid he knew exactly what to say I really now know he got wind I was at Carbone wanted to fuck up my night so I couldn't get none which is probably what he was thinking

which is why he waited to call me at the time he called me thinking I was probably laid up with the dude and decided to tell me that then knew telling me that would have my mind going which is why he didn't pick up then he obviously gets alerted by his gate

that I'm at the gate oh I got her. She's here now. Bucked up her night. Purposely didn't let me into the gate because he wanted me to lose my shit. The gate of his house. But I didn't lose my shit. The gate of his house.

Yeah, they let me into the gate. They called him to let me into the... You cannot go into this man's residence without being let in by the guard gate. He is in a gated community. You cannot go into this man's residence without being let in by the guard gate he is in a gated community you cannot go into this man's gate unless he lets you in okay so now here we are may i find out about the 20 year old girl right okay he calls me now i'm not letting him know what i know i just told him basically enough is enough like i can't do this. You're a pervert. I was kind of like telling him without telling him.

I was even, I was calling him all the P words in the book. Like, clearly you're a pervert. Clearly you're this. And you got weird fucking, you got more, you got more issues than that. You got sex, you're a sex addict first and foremost. You are a pervert. You literally do nothing but manipulate and fuck with me.

You fucking toy with the fact that I love you. And you beg me to be with you every fucking chance you get. Then you bounce around from woman to woman. You know what I mean? Like you disregard these kids when I'm not fucking on you. You purposely try to make financial fucking uh uh burdens for me by not helping me outside of the little bit of money you do pay because honestly his child support is calculated off of if he was taking his kids once a week the way he's supposed to he's not my child care just

to work which is why sometimes i bring them a lot of times I bring my kids to set and I still have to pay but it's not as much because I'm kind of still there right when I if I have to leave let's say to do a movie like doing stepmother was two weeks one of the one of the because we break it down two weeks can you imagine leaving your kids for two weeks two kids what that child care cost around the clock yeah it's a lot of money so you purposely and then what we do for a living i have to and it would even with flying with the kids i gotta pay for my flight their flight you know the food um i gotta make them come get a hotel that is you know accommodating for kids that you know you can't do no cheap shit you know i'm not saying that i would but you got to get a

place to stay that's accommodating to your kids big enough space all of that shit cost yeah all of that shit cost and then on set even with me being on set I have to pay for someone so anyway for what I do for a living what he does for a living he knows that it adds up so I had this conversation with him I'm like you know what the fuck you're doing I can't do do it. You're a P you're a pervert. You're sick in the head. You, you know, he, and I'm sure with our last conversation, he got the memo. He will never be able to fuck on me or with me again. And in that conversation, I even brought up, I'm like, I'm so sick of the fact that you pick and choose when to be a father. And the fact that your family doesn't even try to do their part when it comes to these kids. You know what the hell this man said? How could they, when you're their mother?

Bunny, that set me off right then and there that I literally went into my phone, found his mother's number. And he talks about that in the YouTube too as well and I sent her a message with proof of him in my home that very week because remember I told you that whole incident that we went I went off on him because of the school stuff and I broke shit in his house like I just had enough I was just like whatever that was in May right a couple of days later the homie called me no sorry that was in May that happened a week later we're back to whatever right because he was sending me all the messages. I got back, whoops, warped back in. Right. Two days later, after me being swapped in, after a week of that happening, we get together.

I'm swapped back in two days later, the homie calls me with that bit of information about him dating a 20 year old girl that he's bragging on how he's so excited because she's not in the industry and she doesn't know any better. And he can kind of tell her what he needs to tell her and still do what he needs to do that's literally his words i could tell her what i need to tell her and still do what i need to do him telling me how can his family do their part for my kids because i'm their mother i knew right then and there even though i always knew it just was like a real like confirmation. He's playing two sides. Absolutely.

He's kissing and trying to fuck on me and get back with me, quote unquote, but telling his family something else. Oh yeah. So I text his mother, quote unquote, I figured since I know your son is such a liar and since he knows, and since I know he lies on me all the time to you and your daughter.

Just figure I informed you of him being up in my house last week. Isn't it ironic how he paints me out to be such a hateful monster but yet won't leave me alone? And in that, I show video of him in my home camera. Which you've never gone on YouTube and posted these. This is what he, but he discusses

how I disrespected his mother and sent her inappropriate photos of him. No, buddy. I sent her proof where you be at. Okay? Yeah. Because you lie to her and say one thing. And it's crazy because the mother is the enabler and the sister is the

cheerleader. Right. So really, it's like what i did was i opened up the floodgates to the truth on the lies you're telling them right so i clarified things because you're you're you're painting this to be one way with them but yeah yeah, you're really consistently, since we got divorced, every single other week, you're begging, trying to get back with me. Eight months ago, you just went on a, you went on and did a whole interview. Not only did you praise me as a mother, but you were literally said you wanted to eventually publicly that you see us being back together in the right time and all this shit and all of that now all of a sudden you didn't get enough excitement with

your you know taunting your ex at her concert what's up next now you all of a sudden want to tell the your truth your truth on why you're being a baby daddy isn't it convenient convenient? I just find it like, oh, now all of a sudden it's convenient for you to speak on all the truth I've been telling. So you took your time to edit this 30-minute video using videos of me from separate occasions. From separate occasions. Not telling the truth behind what led to this and why this was that

just so you can deadbeat in peace and that's his agenda because now that he's a youtuber and he can't fuck on me anymore he takes that out on me by not coming around for the kids and what happens if you're youtubing every day people are going to start inquiring why your kids are never with you right yeah does nobody can nobody like put the pieces together like it it makes me sad like these blogs like even when i was doing research for this podcast a lot of these blogs like side with him and like oh it makes perfect sense and erica and i'm just like and you know why because see what's happening he this is what he's doing he's using my reputation to now paint this picture

on why he chooses to be a deadbeat but i think that your actions even after he dropped these you did it so g dude and like normally you would have flown off the handle and like gone to defend yourself and this time you were just like, you know what? Do you know why? Cause I knew the time would come where I can actually speak on it. And I knew I would do it before the year was out. I just, I sat with it with God and I was just like, um, I need to tell my truth. And I know, you know, I need to tell my truth because of who I am.

you know, I need to tell my truth because of who I am. And because this narrative being so false could be damaging to my future, my career, you know what I'm saying? So I sat with it with God and I was just like, I'm not going to speak on anything. I did a little bit, but then I was just like, there's so much to unpack with this that doing it off of, like, it's not going to unpack with this that doing it off of like it's not gonna make sense right so and and literally like you dm'd me and it was just oh god no for

real it was like okay this is what I'm gonna do this this is it because I can sit with a credible woman that's been through it that understands what's's up. A lot of women have been through this. And your podcast resonates to an audience that isn't fucking a male dominated hip hop scene. That,

but it's like your viewers and like the people who tune into you aren't fucking stupid. And I know that because of the shit you talk about. They're so compassionate. And the way your podcast has been able to expand and, and,

and, and grow the way it's obvious because the people are tuning everything you speak on and how you speak and it resonates. It's credible. It's, it's real shit you know place for people to come and tell their truth with no judgment and with people i'm so blessed to have a following that these women are going to just wrap themselves they're going to wrap their arms around you like and we've all been through some

fucked up shit yeah and it's like i'm not saying i'm perfect i would take full accountability i i'm fucking you know, this man has been able to trigger me. This man has been able to break me. This man and I take full accountability because no matter how much he's violated, disrespected me, embarrassed me, he's left me for dead

from the time my son was born till now. I still took him back so many times. I engaged in sexual acts. I accepted the gifts. I believed him because I was desperate in sense of I wanted still the idea of my kids to have a two-parent household. But this is where I want people to kind of come together and put two and two together and realize what the fuck. If I wasn't allowing this man to see his kids why is it that he's taking me to court for everything but to see his kids he is now suing me

for defamation and a whole bunch of other fucking stupid in merit shit he's um taking me to court right now also because he wants to modify his child support. He literally leaked his own court papers, which triggered me right before this got leaked. He leaked his papers, his lawyer papers, and he had the nerve to put in there that he has the kids more than me. And because he's no longer on Love & Hip Hop, he doesn't make that much money. Well, obviously he's a YouTuber now.

But I fell for the bait because when that went out, when he put his whole court papers out, people were coming at me like, oh, why is she making it seem like he never sees the kids if he's claiming he has them more? I literally posted the calendar. Yes. So next thing you know, people are going at him like, oh, you only seen your kids 16 times.

That I fell for the bait, which led him to do this. He's so calculated. And his agenda is very clear. It's just people love to hate me being the bad guy that this is where you know what i'm saying this kind of became as big as it was where people actually believe this shit yeah because the truth is like i said if he if i was keeping these kids from him first of all he has court ordered parenting time since 2022 yeah he's supposed to get them three days one week four days the next week it's supposed to get them three days, one week, four days.

The next week is supposed to be rotating, rotating, rotating. He doesn't do it. Why? Because he claims the kid's school is too far and he'll be, he doesn't want to drive two hours every day to get the kids where I, where he picked the school for the kids to go was 30 minutes away from him.

Right? So picking them up and dropping them off every day would be a two-hour drive every day he claims he's not doing that then if I'm not fucking on him on those other days that he could be picking them up which is the weekends it makes my life complicated right it's less it's hard for me to date it's hard for me to maneuver and and work and do this without me having to pay. He also knows I lost one of my main incomes thanks to him. So therefore, money is probably not as much as it used to be. So keeping the kids on my tab all the time adds up.

So he's calculating every fucking way. If I'm not engaging in him fucking on me these kids don't see him and and even that he'll get them purposely not brush their hair purposely dress them fucking looking crazy all of these things because he knows i take pride just like i he would take pride in how he dresses i take pride in how i dress therefore what do you not take pride in when it comes to your kids absolutely he will have my kids walking around looking like yeah but yet he can be in tip-top shape so it's like he doesn't just do things to set me off he does things out of spite all the time all the time after being through all of this with him how is your heart how are you right now um you know what i'm a lot better yeah believe it

or not this coming out set me free for real for real love that. Because I'm like, look how far he will go. Like he hasn't gone far enough to break me and bring me down. But now you want to publicly make me be this person that you know that I'm not. Because, and I know this to be a fact,

he wants to make sure that I don't flourish in my career anymore he's not succeeding i'm doing movies now right i've been blessed to now i have my dating show with zeus that comes out that's top of this year let's talk about it because no matter what this man has done to you he did this right to stop all of that and so he can youtube and be a deadbeat in peace right that's what this agenda is for that's that's his motive that this is all that this set me free because now i'm able to do this. Yeah. And you have been. I feel like I've been sparing him a lot. And the truth is the truth. I am not perfect. I have taken this man back on numerous occasions.

I have allowed him to fucking provoke me where I wig the fuck out. I have allowed him to use, you know, my weaknesses against me because he knows when we got married that was the one thing when when he kept begging me for kids I don't want to be a single mother he left me for dead with two kids on purpose because he knows that's one of my biggest like fears yes yes but now I can tell my fucking story for real yeah on who he is and what I've been through and not carry it into 2025 and not carry it in like he just set me free because now like he does with Nikki he often tries to chime in well he's definitely going to come forward after this podcast

comes out I mean if he comes forward it's because he's desperate for more clout that's just who he is and he'll ride the wave just know that don't let him trigger you he can't I'm so like now that I especially now about the latter because it's been like such

a and I'm able to laugh at it now because it's like damn he really fucking set me up for this you stupid fucking bitch you allow this fucking clown to really like play with you like this yeah but this just set me free because now I can tell the truth on all of this shit karma always comes back around and you know before I close out this conversation, it's like the proof is in the pudding. If this man was being, if his kids were being withheld from seeing,

from him seeing his kids, he would be in court for that. He's not in court for any of the, but in fact, also taking you to court for defamation. Then he's also after putting this shit out on me, he's, he's trying to sue me.

Oh, when I was shooting the the zoo show, he put out he was trying to get a restraining order on me. Mind you, I was in I was in California for like a month and a half shooting my my dating show. He got wind that I was shooting the dating show and it was for real going like going down. This man had the audacity to try to get a restraining order on me why so that in the middle of shooting i had to stop find a lawyer pay a lawyer to now respond to this and defend myself with this quote-unquote restraining order so it's like when i tell you there's so much behind the scenes shit that i've been dealing with this man and if you guys want to believe it's exhausting it's so exhausted because if people really want to believe that i don't want to break every week and that i don't have to pay for with my kids

going with their dad you gotta be out your fucking rabbit ass mind yeah a free break three days one week four days the next week bring it on on. Come pick up these fucking kids. And then he also tells on himself, too, in another thing. He's like, I refuse to go to her house. Stupid. Your kids go to school every fucking day. That's how much he has. He hasn't seen his kids.

You have video of him in your house. Exactly. He doesn't want to come to my house because he can't fuck on me anymore. Right. Is the real deal. Yeah. he doesn't want to come to my house because he can't fuck on me anymore right is the real deal yeah he can't drink my fluids and fucking devour me the way he is obsessively loves to anymore but he can pick his kids up at school but doesn't do that because he doesn't want to drive the two hours every day so there you go let's move on from safari though and talk about this dating thing because even though safari has

put you through all of this fucking bullshit yeah he has literally tried everything he can to just fucking bring you down and like i don't i just could never imagine a man wanting oh did i tell you how he was dming the football player too no you did not but it doesn't fucking surprise me like what is going on with this it's been when been, when I tell you people, like, what was he DMing the football player? I guess he wanted to tell him that, like, so I'm dating this guy, talking to him, but he still was kind of coming at me. He got, this is the guy that I was at Carbone with. He found out who it was and starts DMing him, talking about he had stuff to tell him. What? Okay. You want to see it see it yes i would love to see it if people don't see that he's the problem yeah then i just after this

podcast if i see another blog about you being the problem here i'm going i mean and like i said i'll take accountability babe i'm going to say I'm innocent because I'm not. I get it. It takes two to tango. It does take two to tango. And trust me, the sex,

our sexual chemistry is so like bombed that it was hard for me to let go. But at the same time. You guys also have a trauma bond too. So that makes everything ten times more intense. Yes.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. So look, this is. Hold on. let me get the bifocals on he said so this was after he had me hop the fence he he got wind okay so he found out so they just told him that i was there with a guy but once he found out it was a football player and this football player when I tell you is fine does the day he's he said what up let me know when you see this trying to send you some info just want to make sure you're the right person so yeah he basically every time I'm ready to move on or I've moved on, like this man can't take it. So it's like, if I'm all of this, if I'm this crazy, let's just say it like that. Why haven't you been to court to get your kids away from me for one for two?

Why haven't you gone to court because I'm keeping your kids from you? Like, why? It's just an abusive relationship. There's just so much that I just wish people were smart enough to see. And I will say this, a lot of celebrity women reached out to me, like big name women that were like, listen, what you did is nothing compared to what X, Y, and Z made me do. And it's like, you'd be surprised how many men,

and I'm saying it's right, but men literally purposely antagonize, provoke women. And then when they lose their shit, it's like, she's crazy, she's this, she's this, that. They never tell the whole story. It's reactive abuse, and that's part of controlling the narrative. If he can't control you, he wants to

control what people think about you and after this podcast if people can't see what's going on here especially now that you're distancing yourself from him and saying hey you know what no more yeah just let this dude crash like i would never let this man touch me again i mean he's gonna crash out on his own i mean he's crashing out already so moving on from safari though and no matter what this man has done to you you have literally just risen from the ashes like a fucking the phoenix that you are you have done this your entire life it seems like to be a theme for your life like no matter what fucking adversities life throws at you yeah i don't know how i really have like 10 lives i would say nine but I know you always come you have a couple lives on me I'm telling you you always come back full force and

now you have a dating show coming out on Zeus tell me all about this I'm super excited about that I feel like this show I mean it's definitely Zeus so it's crazy it has its elements but what I love about it is that Lemmy and LJ let me create a format where i still gave them zeus but um i wanted to tap in and and show how fun and sexy and wild you know being a a bisexual woman could be yeah um what i love about it is i got to be myself you know in the sense of like once i'm like in my world in in my element, I, sex is like my favorite conversation. I love to talk about sex. I'm a Scorpio. So I love to talk about sex. Do you know what your moon sign is?

I don't. Haley was asking me because she said you were going to ask me. So I was like, oh shit, how do I find that out? She's like, you gotta find out your moon sign because she's gonna want to know. I'm like, fuck. Okay. Good to know. But yeah, I love to talk about sex I just feel like you know in a safe space like we all do it absolutely whatever right yeah so I've been an open bisexual for like years and um I love love and I haven't been lucky in it but I know I'm

deserving of it and um one thing people don't know is how fun and crazy and, you know, wild I am. Well, wild. Yes. But like, I think we all know you're fun and crazy.

But like in a fun way, right. It's not love and hip hop drama. Like people know me drama crazy. Now it's like fun, crazy, turn up crazy, like tap into like how fun it is to be around me when I'm in you know a good

healthy environment yeah so I got nine guys nine girls all walks of life wow yeah and we took it there we put us we're all in one big house and they are competing for my love and I'll say this. My cast, I'm completely obsessed with them. I had such a great time with just, you know, the whole environment that it was. It was crazy nonstop. The boys turned up. The girls turned up. You know, I'm not very, like, into the whole, like, throwing down stuff because I've been there, done that growing up in New York. But I will say this. They've definitely turned me on to see them kind of like some of them were taking it so serious where they were like thumping for me and like hardcore.

But yeah, I just love it because it's like, like I said, I got an opportunity to really be myself. It also was very emotional because you get attached to certain people. And even though you don't see them in that way, you know, them go and hurt their feelings it's tough it's tough but yeah it was a fun time the trailer will be dropping very soon when does it drop when is the actual January we're just right now going over Zeus's programming yeah um Lemmy has so much stuff in the works and stuff like that so he he wants this to be very, um, right timing. And it's good because we literally shot this in August. Wow.

And, um, right in the middle of you going through all of this. Oh my God. Literally, literally going through all of this. Um, uh,

it was going down and, but at the same time, um, it was, it was a wild experience. It was an outlet for you too. Yes. And, and, and doing it, it made me realize experience it was an outlet for you too yes and and doing it it made me realize too like everything my first baby daddy would tell me is like remember who the fuck you

are was in my my head because to go through what i went through i was on love and hip-hop for so many years then what happened happened to me these people used me for bait and all of a sudden selective outrage kicked in and the next thing you, they're firing me over social media. And I held that franchise down for so many years, regardless of how people feel about me. People tuned in. They wanted to know my drama. They wanted to know my life story. I was able to kind of go through my relationships. You know, I brought out, you know, me being a bisexual. Then I got married and had my fairytale wedding.

Then I got kids. Then I got left for dead with kids. Like the world has been on a journey with me for so long. And now it's like now I get an opportunity to not only have my own show, but to show me an element that I'm very deserving in. And that's love. Like I am such a lover, regardless of how crazy my love life has been. I have always been open with my love life and there's,

whether it's bad, good, ugly, whatever it's, it's just been this ride that my fan base has been able to go on with me. So now, you know, doing, um, two ways with Erica was just an outlet of just kind of seeing what it's like to date me and how to date

me. And, and then the, you know, the challenges I got a chance to make up, you know, for my contestants, you know, kind of says a lot about me. I'm definitely a freaky girl. I'm definitely a freaky girl, but I'm also very fun. And I'm also, I feel deep too. I'm an a freaky girl but I'm also very fun and I'm also I I feel deep too I'm an empath even though I'm hardcore and like I'm very empath so it was it's it's definitely a ride um people have been saying your show is very loud you're very loud I'm like yes yes it's loud I'm loud when I think of Erica Mina I think of somebody who's very loud and that doesn't mean it's not a bad thing yeah they call chronic loud so that's a good thing and it's great because like everyone behind the scenes production everyone's like you got a hit on your hands we're so excited for you

i just stopped by the zeus office the other day and um you know everyone was just like so excited for me because the edits are you know starting to be edited up and they're just like this is this is great because people get to see who you are a lot of them said this was the most fun that you've ever had on a set you know so I got a chance to like bring an experience to not just my contestants but you know production and everybody that that you know plays behind the scenes it's always more than what you guys see in front of the camera absolutely so yeah. Yeah, I'm excited. It's very loud and it's out there and we're going to be on a ride.

It says 12 episodes, but we have so much footage that I'm thinking they might add some, you know, extra episodes in, but I'm excited. And then we also have movies coming out. I have a movie run, directed and written by Chris stokes that comes out in

theaters this year let's go we get a trailer for that and then my trilogy stepmother um which is on 2b and all my other movies that are on 2b i'm really proud of that and i'm just gonna continue on and like the acting stuff this is why i'm like this couldn't have come at a better time because i feel like at the end of the day i'm not perfect like I said I've made some faults I've taken back I've fucked up I fell for the okie doke I've also made some bad decisions um but you're growing unapologetically me at all times um even within my mistakes and one thing's for sure is that when it comes to my career I give it my all um and there's a lot of versions of me, which is probably why I've been able to kind of be in this shit for so long.

And I'm not afraid of growth. And that's exactly what you've shown this entire podcast is so much growth. Like I'm not afraid to grow, change. Last August, I decided to like not drink anymore. Can we talk about this? I just heard about your sobriety. Yeah. I'm like,

I'm over it. You know what it is? I just feel like, um, to, to go where I'm really headed and where I'm supposed to end up being. Ultimately, I feel like I used alcohol to kind of numb a lot of things and to make the,

the sun and I, and alcohol plays a part of me making the dumb, the stupid dumb decisions I've made with just kind of accepting and taking back and so on and so forth that played a big part of me. Indulging and not being level-headed like I'm supposed to, you know, because emotions are high. It weakens me. My mind isn't clear. Um, I forget what I have on the line. Um, I'm like even that night that I hopped the fence,

I had a couple of drinks with my guy, you know, I was a little tipsy and you know, when I got that phone call, you know, I'm sure if I was sober, him not picking up, you know I was a little tipsy and you know when I got that phone call you know I'm sure if I was sober him not picking up you know whatever I probably would have made a different decision and going over there altogether you know what I mean I think about that and and even with um um that last incident you know being set off you know like knowing that this person purposely says and does things to kind of provoke me being sober I feel like now is going to give me a lot more strength and clarity and and I'm going to stop and think things through before anything you know what I

mean before any type of reaction absolutely and so far I feel like it's great like I get up at five I pray now um write in my journal the kids get up at seven so I kind of have like this routine now that's been mapped out since I decided to become completely sober and it's been great. Like I walk around with this damn bottle. If I'm not with this bottle, it's my Stanley cup. And, um, and I just feel so much better.

I also feel like I am able to hear I'm super in tune spiritually. Like when I wake up at five and I'm praying, I'm able to visually see what's going to happen for me. Like God, I feel feel like like shows me things and it's been so like liberating because like even with this I was supposed to come not too long ago before this actual visit and like something happened with my mom yeah yeah is she okay by the way yeah she's great um where i i wasn't able to make it and um it was like the timing of everything and just like how and i realized that now like i like everything in its timing it's like

who would have known i would have not predicted that you know to, to come and try to ruin me. And I feel like that was the, there was a motive behind that. Like that was done and put out to like end me once and for all. It was a hit piece. Yes. That was done to like end me for once and for all. And the fact that that wasn't the result, you know, you've done nothing but level up. Even getting sober, no drug is worse than reality. I say that to everybody because I've been sober since 2017. I heard. So to be able to be in the midst of all this chaos, all this stress, everything coming at you, and just to make that conscious spiritual decision to be like, you know what? I don't

want my mind altered anymore. I want to be in this 100%. That is, that's amazing. And I'm so proud of you. And now since I've done it, I'm like, I look back at all the shit I was tolerating and like the lies and, you know, now us going to court. Sometimes I have to go back and send proof to my lawyer about certain things. And I'm reading how I was just like the lies,

the, this deceitfulness, the, and it's just like, had I been sober, none of this would have slid that, that well. And I definitely would have not accepted as much as I accepted,

you know, like, and then getting through postpartum that because when i was pregnant and even after i wasn't i wasn't drinking then but the pain of that and feeling on you know disregarded and thrown to the side and and just not seen and taunted the way i was taunted you know like from the time i gave birth to legend even up till now this person purposely buys all these things knowing it does nothing for these kids and everything's left on me that's done to taunt me yeah that's done to make my life complicated and more difficult you know now

that I don't want to have any sexual relationships with them at all it claims it's scared of me it can't come nowhere near me because it's so scared you know and it's just like wow I'm really dealing well I should say I wouldn't even say I'm dealing but if there's any regret that I have is the person that I chose to have more kids with. And I love my babies, but I just, I, I just really, you can't control who he's going to be. He's always going to be who he's going to be. Yeah. But I, I feel like, um, I owe my kids like a forever an apology,

but they have you, they you they have king you know like those babies were they chose you to be their mom for a reason so yeah but those times when my daughter is begging to get picked up by her dad and he does nothing but give her excuses and she gets off the ipad and she starts directly crying it's, I am so sorry. Yeah. You know, like that's the stuff. And, and then that's, and that's even more so why I have to stay sober because I now have to, um, and it's funny because no matter how much time passes and we're about to be on seven months that he hasn't seen them, um, their love for him has not subsided because how much love I pour into them and how much I allow them to love him

even from a distance when they miss him and it's real bad I play his video on YouTube and that's stuff I kind of have to deal with but at the same time it's a sacrifice I'm gonna make because in time they will see it for what it is but in the meantime I don't want the trauma of them missing him and not seeing him to affect their yeah you know their their their light so I try to do what I can to kind of build them up with love and no matter how much time has passed and that's the part that's so sad about it is he can do this but yet doesn't tell the world that no matter how much he goes without seeing them those kids love him even more than the last time he saw them seven months ago my prayer for you

guys after this podcast comes out is that i really hope safari listens to this with an open heart oh he's not gonna listen to this and oh he's oh he's listening trust me you know he's gonna listen he is not yes he might he might he might um stalk my instagram page to see because he does do that yeah i know that because it's so obvious well my prayer is that he does listen to this part of the podcast with you and he'll probably get wind of the stuff that goes viral listens with an open heart and then just you guys can just get it together because it does seem like there was a lot of love there and those babies were made with love and i really pray that you guys can come to some sort of friendship you know of don't get back together i don't even i

don't even want no friendship i just want him to just step up to the plate you know just be a dad see the kids when you were supposed to see them when you have them dress them properly love them properly you know have you guys ever tried to have like a mediator in between you guys that can like get the kids to and from each other so you guys don't even have to interact we don't have to interact now bunny he could literally go to the school pick the kids up i know there's i know of men that drive three hours just to pick up their kids spend spend time with them, and drive three hours back to drop them off, and then three hours to get back. If you really want to see your kid, no time or place stops you. And it's like, that's just what it comes down to.

And he has court-ordered time to see them. He just chooses not to because it makes my life complicated. If I have them seven days a week and let's just say, because my career, I actually do things like movies and I have a show and things like that. I have to pay childcare. And if I have them seven days, he knows that's going to cost me.

Yeah, absolutely. So, so what, so 2025, what can we look forward for you we got erica mena two ways with zeus coming yes we have a movie called run that will be in theaters but i want to hear about you personally what is does erica want for herself personally all your accomplishments are amazing yeah i can't wait to see those come to fruition you know what i want to i want to continue just being this clear-minded person i feel like i've been drinking since i was like 16 yeah i want to i want to indulge in life like because

it's well i stopped in august i'm only like seven august seven months seven eight months in I want to um progress in this life of clarity and um you know continue to indulge in you know bettering myself whether it's me in the gym or taking some classes I've been doing this cold water plunge thing yeah yeah cold plunge yes I'm obsessed with it because it really it has helped me to understand how powerful my mind is so when I first started doing it obviously it's fucking scary it's freaky like you're fucking dying you're hyperventilating but once you start realizing and how you can control your mind like I will literally now sit in 40 degrees for three

minutes of course i have i have a minute to go past that but i can make myself really believe i'm not in a cold situation yeah and with that comes okay if i can do that with just that i've already what manifested what i manifested now i want to just be able to kind of just progress in my mental and like how I can just make everything that I want happen mentally, especially now that my mind is clear, you know, um, I want to challenge myself more in the physical sense. Um, I've always been like, you know, real active in the gym and stuff like that, But now I really want to dive in where I'm like, you know, weightlifting heavier and just make that more of a day-to-day routine. It's so good for your mental health. Oh my God.

I feel like just challenging myself physically with the power of my mind and how I can take my, I just feel like it's this time. And then before I'm 40, I just feel like I see myself just being in the best shape ever. And this is all stuff that's come and been, you know, told to me in my 5am, you know, prayers that I just really see myself in my forties looking better than I've

ever have. I also see myself being in major movies with major actresses and actors. And, you know, I, there's just so much that is coming sit down and make a vision board that's what i do with my team i saw you guys do one not too long ago yeah yeah every year we do vision boards and it's phenomenal what comes i've been like writing profusely lately and

a lot of the things that i've kind of like started jotting down are starting to kind of come through. Yes. My manager's been calling me about certain things and I'm like, no way. I'm like, I take a picture. I'm like, I wrote this down. Yeah. So words are spells. Oh my God.

I'm telling you, words are spells. So you be careful what you cast. And then this year too, more importantly, I don't ever want to speak about just certain things anymore you don't have to you left you left it all here like literally that's why I said this has been like that set me free and then now what I've been doing to kind of just move forward um and then me saying sober and all of this like I if there's ever been a time where i've said i'm a force it's definitely beyond that now like let's force that i am about to become come is you know i'm excited for myself more than anything because i'm like damn i have been through some shit and yes i've loved harder

than a motherfucker but now it's time to kind of you know you don't realize the power you have until someone tries to chip away at it take it from you yeah absolutely and that's kind of what this year has been power that so much like even with love and hip-hop what happened with me on love and hip-hop i didn't realize i was that it was I was that big until that happened and then I was like wow um not just with my words but my me as a whole you know does anybody even watch love and hip hop since you left I don't so funny because that's literally what i was gonna say i was gonna say i literally get stopped non-stop i get messages non-stop in public the amount of people that tell me on a day-to-day and it's literally like and i live so far out i get old people i get like people from different walks of life i had a oriental woman stop me and like at the airport in um la and she

was just like you know i don't watch love and hip-hop anymore since you left um so they need to bring you back they'll bring you if they wanted to bring you back would you go back i left off at a pretty good coin yeah and you know what's crazy i was actually on my last year contractually with them and had i not been fired I would have to wait two years to even do Zeus. Oh, wow. I was actually offered Zeus around the time I got divorced, but I was contractually bought in.

So let me was like, I'll wait and do this with you. So I was actually supposed to do like, I've been offered this show years ago um but contractually I wasn't so being that I got fired there was no binding and I was able to go right into what I was so that was that was a blessing even though it was an it came from an unfortunate situation but to answer your question um I don't think they could afford me with what I'm going to ask for just because out of the disrespect and the disregard that they kind of how they dealt with

me, it was just disgusting. I think you felt like you were loyal to them and they just for 15 years. I let these people, I did everything these people told me to do in the very beginning because I didn't know no better. And that brought in all the ratings that they needed. And it took on a life of its own. New York transpired where they were able

to do all these other cities. Yeah, that was a great season. So it's safe to say, like, you know, I definitely was the guinea pig. And, you know, I also inspired other women to be casted on this franchise to, you know, to do what they do. So it's good to know that.

But, yeah, I left off at a pretty good fucking penny with them i was getting oh i was probably one of the highest paid if not the highest paid um so you deserved every penny of it yeah so for them to call back and and then um they're better apologize to me too she said the apology better be as loud as the disrespect yeah i mean i feel like when you're owed an apology it's only right you get one so absolutely well i just want to tell you erica thank you for coming here and thank you for having me i swear i'm so i was praying like when that when everything was just coming at me at once i was like okay and my my my manager was like okay whatever you said right now because I

was kind of whatever I could I did say a few things on the internet but it wasn't getting anywhere people weren't they were just caught up in the visual that was like literally viral everywhere and I was just like you know what I'm not going I'm just gonna put out a statement and I put it out with TMZ that I just wanted it to stop. But really that was just to kind of bring my self to the drawing board. And I sat on it for days and just prayed because I knew I had to tell him, you can't lie on me like this. I think I'm not going to fucking tell the truth. Yeah.

So I just prayed for it because i knew it had to be right and not only done right but the the timing of it had to make perfect sense like i wanted that wave to be rode out the way it was yeah because the truth of the matter is that that's what it wanted it wanted the mind wanted the attraction it wanted the attraction it wanted the views it wanted the subscribers and it showed its true colors when it started promoting the number of subscribers it got you know what i'm saying so the the motive yeah the motive it got it's it's there it's just people are so used to wanting to hate me that i pray that they you know they fell to hate me that i pray that they know

they fell for the hoopla i pray that they see your growth in this podcast though because even in all the interviews that i've watched you and you've always been so kind of like rah rah and here you're just like look man this is what it is this is what happened i'm not who that person is let me yeah i mean and don't get me wrong i'm a crazy bitch but my crazy has some fucking substances like there's a fucking reason behind the crazy oh no you know what i'm saying you're not gonna fucking like if you want people to believe i'm just crazy for no reason you know like that i'm not gonna allow because all every ounce of crazy that comes from this there's there's a reason yeah there's a method to the madness oh my god a huge method for imagine and every action for every action there's a reaction

absolutely you know what i'm saying and it's like so yeah so we're leaving this in the past thank you thank you for giving me an opportunity to kind of you have my lay it all out because literally when i tell you i am i feel so liberated it is what it is the truth is told and if i'm spoken about by it ever again you guys hear it first it's because it needs clout which it does i mean look what it's done when it puts the lotion on the skin. The other ex. You know what I'm saying? The other ex still to this day gets bamboozled by this fool's, you know, thirst to be talked about, you know? And she's married with kids and has accomplished so much in her career, you would think it would leave it alone. But why don't you tell everybody where they can find you if they already aren't following you? Give them all your...

At Erica Mena on Instagram. And then I also have a YouTube only one Erica Mena. And then I have my TikTok, which is only one Erica Mena as well. And yeah, I'm excited for this. Thank you so much. I love you, girl. And I can't wait to see you flourish in 2025. Thank you for being who you are.

Because literally like every bit of success you're getting from this podcast is so deserving. I actually see this being a show one day. Like, yeah, baby. No, yeah. You podcast.

You got your, like, we need talk shows. We need, you know, we need that. That's what we're trying to do. That's what we're aiming to do.

I got chills just saying it. Cause I so see this being like, you're a talk show host. I appreciate you. I appreciate you so much like you're a talk show host I appreciate you I appreciate you so much talk show house baby I appreciate you thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of dumb blonde I will see you guys next week