Dumb Blonde - ImTheJay: Leaked Nudes & Jesus

Episode Date: July 16, 2022

The hilarious and beautiful ImTheJay, aka Jay Sage, joins the show today, to talk about how she landed social media fandom, the crazy side of fame, and her relationship with money and helping those around her. ImTheJay opens up about her relationships and gives Bunnie the scoop on what went down when her Snap was hacked and nudes were leaked. Jay also talks about finding Christianity and how it saved her life.  ImTheJay: IG  | Bonus Content  Bunnie: Website  Watch Full Episodes & More: www.dumbblondeunrated.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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camera or no just look at me got it it's like two besties hanging out is this thing on all right gentlemen coming to main stage next this is bunny get up there she's got a tornado of titties coming your way get those dollar bills ready she's got an ass that shakes like michael j fox so get up there and throw throw throw them dollars dude that is fucking iconic what's up you sexy motherfuckers welcome to another episode of dumb blonde today i have somebody who i've wanted here for the longest time she is this tight little package just draped in skin and beautiful blondie fucking imj how are you doing baby i'm living why i'm just here honestly the reason why i'm laughing is because if you guys could hear our

conversation before you'll understand why i was laughing with her saying i'm living she you had a you had a rowdy night last night we had a long very long i still don't remember how i got in the airbnb i have no idea but i was with a lot of little hotties you know yeah let's talk about one of these little hotties yo i'm not gonna not going to lie. I was like, ew. Because sometimes in person, you're like, eh. He's a cutie, too. There are some of these dudes that on media, you're like, yeah. Person, well. Yeah.

So who are we talking about here? Oh, let's see. Kaden, yeah. Kaden. Kaden McGuire. Dude named Jaden. I really like this dude named KB that was there. Yeah.

He, like, vibed. Yeah. But it was so funny because he was, like, drunk. He was like was like yo you want to make my ex jealous i was like not really but sure and uh he took i gotta show you these videos and then another one his name's kreesh whoa at first i saw him on tiktok i was like this little dork no in person i was like i bet you're like a hot commodity though because you know everybody loves you I feel like a hoe though for real I just like I vibe with the dudes hold on because you're in the wrong area to say that because listen you are you're what you're 21 yeah bitch hoe it up hoe it up you know like

you right now from the time you're 21 until you're fucking 35 fuck everybody like literally sport fuck the entire state I don't give a fuck because you're gonna get married you're 21 until you're fucking 35 fuck everybody like literally sport fuck the entire state i don't give a fuck because you're gonna get married you're gonna settle down one day and you don't get any more dick so you might as well just get it out of your system unless you're just not a sexual person you're not a sexual person really like i can be it depends who it is but like i mean i try to before um my j Jesus moment everybody knows about right I'm trying to save myself for marriage but I've slipped up a little bit well but it's just like it's more of like I don't like anymore because of that like I don't even get the desire like I don't like those

hot dudes my first opinion wasn't like oh they're your dick it was more of like you got jesus in your heart dude but it was more of like um some of them do um so what if they have jesus in your heart does that make your bingle tingle um that's the funniest thing ever um okay i'll be real because like i'm in the flesh i'm a certain absolutely they sometimes would make me want to throw my booty cheeks back. Yes, baby. But I'm still going to be like, it's more attractive if like, I don't like when people respect my boundaries. I like when they protect them. So it's kind of like a.

That's actually really good. It's kind of like if you protect me, I can just lose, lose. Because now I'm like even more attractive because you're protecting me. I can't win. I can't win. So you and Caden are hooking up? Or what's the tea with that um have we seen caden's wiener because i want to know about it

because that little boy i'm like hey are you in the milfs because here i am yes um i would say about two years ago you know oh this has been a long it's been it's been a long ride it's been around um I wouldn't say he was like a true ex I just wouldn't yeah because it was more of like a I felt like it was for show right and uh which is fine I don't care but it was kind of like I could never get give him that part of myself because it was always like a video and I'm like just got weird weird but yeah so you felt like he was kind of like using you for clout oh for sure oh he's a fucking clout chaser a little bit but um but you're not allowed on the podcast but now he's not no okay but now he's not because he got his own okay good using good I'm kidding maybe I don't know I'm just being real he hates when i say it

but well i mean if it's real it's real you know yeah let's let's rewind and let's take it back so where did j grow up at oh ohio oh really oh hi oh h born in south carolina but i have grown up in ohio gotcha that's awesome i would not take you as an ohio are you a juggalo oh what okay never mind if you don't know what that is all the juggalos at home are like whoop whoop they're all pissed um so you grew up in ohio are you close with your parents because i noticed that your parents have a tiktok um so it was rough a little bit because we all had our like family issues everybody got them freaking generational curses but now we've never been closer like to where back then I still feel a little bit like this I think it's just because

like it's a mom thing yeah but sometimes you know in your worst moments of your life like hey I might be pregnant or hey I really messed up uh sometimes you want to call them but usually it's just like have you ever had to call them and say hey I might be pregnant i've never have okay i'm proud i mean there was a time i might have had a scare with uh with who with caden caden you little fucking dirty dog oh it was actually my 20 why am i oddly turned on though you know like this is just it was it was uh my birthday uh last year uh we ended up like going to random hotel when we had a huge airbnb but that's fine and i was like wait a minute first off man come on too dang because now i gotta pop a plan b and now i'm gonna be hormonal and now i feel like a hypocrite like is caden good in bed yeah oh yeah i'm telling his mom oh oh she's gonna watch it and be like oh fuck mom i'm so sorry keep my image good i hate that like be if you're gonna be yourself just be who you are

but no it's uh um yeah that thing cranking wow it'd be cranking these men are trash oh yeah no men are trash trust me i i was in a domestic abuse relationship. Really? Oh, yeah, really bad. But what happens is people mistake the abuse for passion. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's what makes you stay because you're like, oh, he loves me so much, he's willing to put his hands on me. And I know that sounds fucking stupid. Right, it's so mind-blowing, but if you get it, you get it. Because everybody's like, what?

They make you feel stupid. And I was like, I can't really describe it because it's more of like a, I don't know that you did that, but see you deeper like as an actual human being and but at the same time it's like I don't need to be in mom mode with a grown man and I was in mom mode with a lot of like dudes and even if the abusive ones that's still in mom mode they're like not men no more right ever and it sounds weird as hell to say but like i look at men like as my like i wanted him to be like my dad a little why am i doing this we've all got daddy we've all got daddy issues we've all got mommy issues he has always provided for my mom no matter

what and he um can do everything i mean fix any car everything like i want a man to be like bill me that porch and he's like all right baby yeah do you consider yourself but now it's who do you consider yourself a daddy's girl oh for sure yeah oh for sure but i don't think i got daddy issues no i think i just have fucking issues i mean hello we all do that's why i have this podcast it was a therapy for me so good to vent it out yeah no totally all right so you do have so you do have a good relationship with your parents yeah when did you come to tennessee because did you guys move from ohio to yeah yeah no totally all right so you do have so you do have a good relationship with your parents when did you come to Tennessee because did you guys move from Ohio to Tennessee yeah we went to Florida and I wanted to stay in Florida but like my dad got a new job and at the time I had just

started social media and I was like I ain't got no money I can't stay here so we moved to uh Tennessee it's basically Tennessee but like if you to, it's literally the line. If you were to step here, it's like Mississippi. Oh, so they moved there and I ended up living in Memphis. That was traumatic. Oh yeah. No,

Memphis is hood. We love shout out Memphis. Love you. But like you guys, I still live 30 minutes from them. And like, I'm talking about PTSD to this day. Wow.

Yeah. Um, I'm always like on the paranoid. Okay. So you started your social media career whenever you guys moved to the mississippi line no okay just love florida oh and it was weird because i had a damn i sound like a whore um like i've had a lot of men around hold on i've never had a real relationship let me just let me because i know there's gonna be i know how trolls are on tiktok

i need you guys to remember that this woman is 20 years old. Like, what the fuck were you bitches doing at 20 years old? Yeah. So before you throw stones at any sort of this story, think back to, I know what I was doing. I was doing everybody when I was 20. So, you know, like. Try not to, but, you know. It's like, live and let live is what we need to do.

I had a, i guess my longest relationship i was like 15 18 his name was brett that's so young i know to be tied down oh i know oh trust me it um and it was weird because like i wasn't hurt by it at all but in reality i was for like a year i just never cried about it ever then he messaged me my dad a year later like oh sorry it was just so weird um but what was the same shit we were talking about you starting your social media oh yeah okay yeah so we agreed like we're not gonna have social media i agreed with it it wasn't no control control vibes it was like who said you weren't gonna have social brett brett okay so i was like bet i'll give a

fuck okay cool and but it did feel weird because i did stand out there'd be like everybody knows what's going on i'm like i don't give a shit i'm playing with an aunt paul and fucking 18 i'm weird yeah you're playing with aunt paul when we yeah and when we uh who's aunt paul aunt paul aunt powell aunt pile oh aunt pile i'm like who the i'm like wait a second who's aunt paul all right what is going on here dude you talk so fast i'm trying to like grab my brain is working faster everybody that knows me like stop mumbling i'm like okay all right so you're playing with ant piles at 18. i don't know where the fight that came from um oh yeah so i wasn't gonna have social media got it so when we broke up

um i'm sorry the first trying to pull it together over here how do you think i feel um yeah so we had um damn all i hear that i got really bad hd so the dog's snoring and i'm like on the wall there's everything going on he's always snoring so brett said you couldn't have social media right and i did too i was like bet cool but he would always go behind my back and get it cool f off and uh when we officially broke up the first thing normal thing to do is like oh instagram snapchat i was like ain't nobody gonna see me on this little kid app i'm gonna get tiktok and remind you i went through a huge stoner face have nothing against weed but personally i can't do it yeah i would like have paranoia but i was funny on it oh i couldn't imagine you oh i was funny i'm not even gonna lie

like i couldn't imagine i would make myself laugh yeah and uh i had downloaded this app and like the first video I posted. And after that, they're just like face reveal because apparently they liked my voice. I was like, what the fuck is wrong with my voice? And I learned a lot about myself through social media. And I'm like. Yeah, people tell you what you're doing. Yeah, I know.

And I was like, you're not wrong, but you're not right. But what? But like, keep them guessing. I think people are attracted to you because you are such a just a ball of light. But you're also a but what but like keep them guessing i think people are attracted to you because you are such a just a ball of light but you're also a ball of fucking energy i'm also annoying no people don't know what's gonna come out of your mouth no never and they love that neither do i when people say thing before you speak i'm a camp won't do it and uh it just blew up and i'm like riding in my freaking, oh, a trap car.

I love that car. I don't know why we got rid of it. I think I remember that's when I started following you was probably what, like two years ago? Was this about two years ago? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, we went through a huge, a huge change, whatever. We're just growing up, you know?

And again, out of my parents' house, whatever. That's when I moved to Memphis. Murder right in front of me, my mom. It was bad. You saw somebody get murdered right in front of you my mom it was bad and uh you saw somebody get murdered right oh bad like 16 plus shots like i my mom was in my apartment like on the floor and my dog ate my subways the whole time we had just got back from somebody's getting murdered and the dog's eating yeah man it was a off-duty firefighter oh and they were trying to rob his car oh my god so it was very like traumatic and honestly i felt guilty i was like why not me lord like

you know a piece of shit why not me but it was uh it was life-changing and then after that moment plus the social media and getting noticed i don't know that probably happens to you it's like i don't like when people not like do not come up to me and that makes sense like i don't like when i'm later and they're like hey i saw you yeah there's haters out there the world's getting worse and i'm like bro i could have just got shot in the neck yeah something i totally feel you like i have very bad anxiety from social media now so in other words if you see jay out go up to her and see her yeah but if you didn't go up to her don't dm her yeah no i can't stand like i literally try to tell them like hey i ain't nobody but if you didn't go up to her don't dm her yeah no i can't stand like i literally try to tell them like hey i ain't nobody but if you did want to like say hi for some reason

awesome but please just don't message me after it happens all the time yeah no i i totally feel you like that i have guys that message me i'm like my only fans that are like the butcher at the grocery store and i'm just like bro you just fucking fed my family i'm like you know like come on dudes the kroger manager gave me like half off a steak he want to take me off a date i'm like sir no sir no you're like you are old enough to be my dad and he like no he was and he wanted like he took my groceries out to my truck and stuff cool guy but like whoa yeah just overstepping hey 45 dollar steak got a 14 bucks what a deal baby i bet you i bet you his tube steak was free though sorry i had to i had to um can we rewind it back to something you just said you

said that um you have anxiety because of social media i honest to god never believed in it like i remember my family members when i grow up like grow up my 12 uh when I grew up like I would see them having it in like ambulances at their house and stuff it would creep you out because I'd be on my four-wheeler huh you know just out of there wow child and I never believed and I was like oh suck it up like hard skin I was taught like tough that way and then I realized my karma real bad when I first had my first anxiety attack oh I suffer from panic um I worked at the hard rock casino as I was getting kind of bigger or more following whatever to where it got dangerous to where I couldn't work anymore was it that bad people were just uh I parked in a really sketchy

parking garage and men women they would be waiting at my car wow and I'd be all alone and I also didn't have my clock back then so it was very uh i acted like it didn't bother me but i'd like and then it would make me smoke more and then the weed would make me have more it was bad it was a bad place i think people just don't understand boundaries you know like just because you see somebody on the internet oh it's like you owe them everything right and you know they they want your time they want a piece of you they want a picture and they don't realize that you know us as creators we deal i that's why i'm very open about it i tell you i'm a fucking weirdo when you meet me oh me too for sure you know and like that's why people

when they approach me now they're kind of like can i touch you can i hug you and i'm like yeah come on you know but i love that because they ask permission first yeah because like you're still a human being right it's not like i hate that too and they don't get it though because i've also learned if you were to like complain or talk about your problems i always get that you have nothing to complain about yeah your life's perfect i'm like honestly though yeah whenever i talk about having depression people are like you work so much and you wear makeup and you get your hair done and i'm like does that mean i'm not fucking i know i know what are you talking about i've been honest to god though i'm happier when uh i didn't have money and also i had more true friends because now it's all like oh i'll just hang out because i know she'll pay

or something like that my heart for you oh it's just some real life stuff i have to like come to terms with still learning about your feelings are valid though don't invalidate them because you have to be tough i did that my whole life too and it's okay to feel how you feel you know like it's not fair i couldn't imagine being your age having the money you have you know having the platform you have and having to grow up in front of the world with everybody having a fucking opinion oh my gosh you get it absolutely i've never heard somebody actually i was like lindsey lohan back in my day i don't even know if you know who that is but okay but i'm so glad people didn't get to see me doing eight balls of fucking cocaine and shooting shit up my ass you know like it was i had a wild time so i couldn't imagine

how you feel trying to just live your life and i'm also trying to do it like everybody thinks i don't know like i'm not religious at all I hate that I don't believe in it I solely just believe in Jesus that is it I don't think you have to be rigid to be spiritual right but like it's I think I just let the comments bother me a little bit because it's like I shouldn't care but at the same time this is like my career I should talk about it a little bit but it's more of like yo too much because I'm still learning I'm still growing i'm still if i can you know um so it's like nobody knows it's hard you know nobody knows your heart so these motherfuckers that literally every day i get fucking bullied because i'm with my husband and my husband's a big boy

you know like what's the point i gotta do with it exactly oh she's a gold digger even though i'm fucking you know i've said it a million times i make my own fucking money yeah it's just like nobody knows what's going on i'm just jealous nobody knows what's going on though they don't know your heart you know that they don't know your relationship with god or what i do in private i'm not a pharisee like there's been so much stuff like that stuff you're supposed to do between you and the lord so much but like a lot of people want that you between the lord stuff to be completely like out there right i'm like you're not gonna get rewarded for that so let's talk about your christianity i was gonna wait to kind of like build your story a little bit but let's let's get to it because it is such a hot topic when i googled imj on uh well

reddit shout out reddit to everybody oh my god hold on shout out reddit bro what i dude you want to know the story of that hold on shout out to all the stand-up citizens that are on fucking reddit let's just give them a hand right now they're they're doing the lord's work over there let me tell you so right oh dude the the main thing i struggle with is forgiveness me too um but i can forgive instantly it's just have you really forgave if you still think about it right um and i had blowing up by the way this is why I hate the media because I'm just a normal person like I don't think I'm nobody like you know what I mean that's rare because a lot of people are fucking dicks yeah and uh I had my snapchat hacked right I remember my manager's

like hey is this you and truly there's like a lot of pictures that look like me but I know what's not me and I was like no and then it was me like a week later and I was like wait are we talking about the nudes oh hell yeah and I was 17 okay 17 years old shit so honestly that's a case too what the fuck yeah um it was very very like damn I didn't even have a butt back then like who hacked your snapchat no idea no idea they just got and I reached out to rent I'm like can you just like remove it what the fuck but uh it was more of like i got told like oh it's fine it's just more eyes i was like no i genuinely feel like so the whole world has seen me i'm not okay with it and it was just oh it's fine it looks better have you ever got tried to get a lawyer involved no i should yeah you definitely should definitely i see synthesis motherfuckers all day long yeah no it was bad i was like actually i don't you have to protect your peace baby

yeah yeah you really do for sure broken i was like damn how you gonna do me like that i feel so bad now that i know the story after like they knew it's just like a most i fucking hate saying dude it was more of like a you couldn't you could have done that a year ago yeah but you decide to do it just when i talk about Jesus you see how that works yeah I was like really pissed against you harder I fought the devil himself it felt like yeah but um that really sucked because you're already an influencer you're already I share too much online let alone now it's my body now it's all you're not this and oh man so it's like when you search my name up why can't it be some funny shit and it even sucked because like when me and Kane was like starting to be like a thing uh people would go out there that's why i hate

public relationships too because it's like you can't win if uh you don't post them they think you're single but two i just can't date a dude on social media and i won't yeah but he should be strong enough of a man to be like thank you someone has sent him behind her and i was like dude that was so long ago and he was like still angry i was like dude that was so that's kidship yeah i was like hell it's all over the internet it was like no comfort like i get it like i shouldn't have took him but at the same time why the fuck are people in my snapchat and it was like the minute i didn't know it was serious i didn't know you could get hacked i didn't know people cared that much about my snapchat uh i have to like change my passwords probably every few weeks just because i'm like traumatized

i'm a walking traumatized jellybean yeah cherry cherry preferably you can uh put that two-factor um authentication on your phone on your accounts too because uh it's just like you've learned a lot and sometimes i feel like i have outer body experiences a lot and like i read an article about like does fame like really fuck with your head like i thought i was getting schizophrenic um for a minute dude and it was like it's called derealization is that you're going through uh and it was a lot of um i can't even find it i don't even know it is your life real is this real derealization depersonalization that's what it's called okay i'll I'll look that up. And it's a form of anxiety.

Yeah, definitely look it up. I promise you, baby, everything you're going through right now is normal. Cool. Especially because of all the shit that's been thrown at you. Very quickly. And you haven't really had time to process it. Like, I can look you in your eyes and I can tell that there's a lot of hurt in there. Yeah.

And I hate that. I hate that for you. But I'm also, like, I hate that when people are hurt, they like to hurt others. Do you talk to anybody? Do you go to therapy or anything? No. I am a huge advocate for therapy. I'll just be chilling and just talking to myself. Baby, I'm 42 years old, okay?

You don't look like it. I love you. I'm going to put you in my pocket and carry you around with me. I'm 42 years old. I never suffered from depression a day in my life until I hit 40. And you want to know why? Because I didn't deal with a lot of trauma and I didn't deal with a lot of hurt. And I shoved a lot of shit down inside of me.

Ooh. And that's definitely got, whenever you're ready, just go find somebody that you can talk to. I'm always like, I got such a, I have to unlearn a lot of things. And,

uh, I've always been the, like, uh, I never trusted therapy. Cause I remember as a kid, I went like once and I made, I was such an asshole.

I made it awkward for her own purpose. Yeah, I know. Like, I was acting funny in my mind. And like, looked at her like this whole time. Like, just messing around. I used to manipulate therapists. I used to be an ass. Yeah, when I was younger too.

But when you get older and you're ready to heal. And you know, when you get, let me not say older. When you get tired of carrying all that weight on you. Sometimes what helps a lot is like like I have a room upstairs with, it's like my media room with like a snake. He's cool. And he's really mean. And I have a prayer closet.

And what I'll do is like a little kid, I will journal out. Like I'll literally write to God. And then I'll pin it on my wall. And I'll tell my friends, if you go in here, you're going to get your ass beat. Nobody can go in here. My mom's probably in there right now watching my dogs are in them just reading what's going on it's like some it helps a lot because it's more of like i don't trust a single hustle i'm so a single soul um i really hate that yeah that makes me want to cry because you do you deserve to have a safe place yeah i think it's the closet you know pray closet

get the closet bitch and then it sucks because it's like with the god thing like i know i'm supposed to uh deny my flesh and stuff and then when you're that you know kind of fucked up in the head yeah uh you kind of sin more right and it's like damn because it makes you feel better yeah for that moment right but it's kind of like a damn what's the escape but i think it's just age it's just immaturity let's try get over i'll let's talk about what pushed you into christianity were you partying a lot were you doing drugs like what happened what was that moment that you were like so i've never done any drugs in my life uh i've only smoked weed and i've i've just drank a lot um i think i've done a purgacet with wisdom teeth uh like everybody

thought i went through like a huge drug thing i've never done i'm too scared i'm a puss you should for like i've always heard that once you try something that could be the last time you're you can breathe yeah i don't know especially nowadays because fentanyl is in fucking everything oh i know even in weed now yeah it's crazy it's just like i've always been like wild but when it came to drugs just scared like I grew up around it I lost an uncle to suicide from it like I just drugs scare me you know and I also have a lot of friends that uh struggle with it and uh I would have to go through a lot because I'd love people where like you know a zany dude they call it um a lot of my friends

struggle with that and like I would try to be their their helper but like i would get ripped to shreds kind of trying to help them like i would lose myself trying to find them and like help them but you know i think it's just like i have such a nurturing spirit which makes me uh when it comes to dude or something i get that that wall on because i can do everything myself i don't really need you but sometimes it's like damn is there like because i can do everything myself i don't really need you but sometimes it's like damn is there like daddy energy out there who do i run to yeah i need something jesus i want to know my toxic trait i will buy pets pets yeah oh real shit how many pets do you have oh my gosh um four dogs now two cats snake my rat died i don't know why i don't know if it's the cheese ball i

fed him oh fuck i read online it was fun but like she died like two days i cried about it um people do not come for her for feeding them a cheese ball yes sorry like i'm i'm kidding if they come for you over that they come for me for everything they need to fucking go and um shove a stick up their ass like go sit on a stick and spin like for real this is i'm telling you man i'm so tired of trolls on tiktok so you've never done drugs and you know and you've never you just drank a lot so what was the moment that was like i need jesus okay so i went through okay so i didn't believe in this uh covid stuff when it happened like i believe there was a sickness out there but I didn't like take it serious and we were moving out of Florida and what we realized

was it was serious because we're like dumb rednecks right uh nothing was open like power companies whatever like my parents had brought in uh bought a bunch of property and we moved to freaking mississippi tennessee and uh homeless for about eight months oh my gosh yeah i'm talking about in a 500 trailer with like no i think they had a few windows um to where like my own parents i don't want to talk about it like i'll cry my own parents like worth their whole life like sleeping on air mattresses what the fuck because you guys just couldn't find a home or? No, it was COVID. Yeah.

Literally COVID. And it's just sucked to watch. And then it was, like, more of a, I think, my parents. Because they try to, why is this sad? What the fuck? It's okay. You're not going to cry. I literally was, like, okay.

It was more of, like, a, they try to tell me that I used uh me in their life for Jesus but I think it was the other way around and they don't say it like that you know they have a lot of like stuff they regret like how they parent what trained us parented us and um I think they they need more credit because I'm an asshole I don't tell them I appreciate them that much but well I hope I do but yeah no it was like a moment where nobody knew and um I would be going to like hotels and stuff like any money I'd make in them uh back then I didn't really make much that was fine thank thank you god but it was like uh any money I would get it would hotel just I want my dad and mom to fucking shower it was fucking rough but like nobody knew and i'm not the go for me type maintaining the social media at the same time and it's some people didn't know that about you and

no they do now that's something i've never talked about um it was more of a damn you really don't know what you have till it's legit gone i'm talking about everything my parents have ever worked for like did they lose their jobs no it was just COVID like he had he he even had a job we went through fucking hell um and he didn't want to rent a house he don't he's very stubborn and he was like I'm not paying somebody else or whatever and we have dogs and stuff so he was like I'm building my house he did it was just like a we didn't think that I mean we didn't have power a fucking toilet for months I'm talking about shit in a bucket like this is like real life and it still feels like a fucking dream

and um I knew it was fucked up to where I would like I got that Memphis apartment and it's like I still couldn't catch a break I just left that I left felt bad left my leaving my parents they didn't want to come they couldn't dogs and this stuff. And then you see someone get murdered, and I'm like, Lord, I literally need a break. So I was coming to my breaking point of like, bro, I'm about to fucking kill myself. And I just couldn't do it. Do you battle suicidal ideation or anything? No, I've really never battled it. But it was more of like a, you know, your friends always play.

Yeah, bad. But I was at my breaking point where I was like, okay, I have nothing going for me right now, fuck this app, I'm not making money, and I'm watching my parents sleep on a fucking air mattress that they had to travel, like, my dad is the most harsh worker, and, uh, I was, like, fuck this, I was, like, at the point where I didn't even care, because, you know, like, you don't want to do it, because, like, your family, or, like, your dog, I was at the point where I was, like do not care and it was weird because i was like super uh i got super drunk again and i was driving like an idiot and i parked in front of a church and i felt calm it was weird i was like this is nice and like i was about to do it in

that parking lot and i had a freaking bible app notification pop up. A bottle of what? It was a Bible app notification. Gotcha. And it was like a verse that hit it. Like, you're deformed and someone fearfully, wonderfully made. Something like that. I don't know every word. Sorry, Christians. It's okay.

And it hit different. And then I started going to church. And I was so happy. Like, homeless. It's okay. And it hit different. And then I started going to church. And I was so happy, like, homeless. It's weird. After it. I understand that. It felt like Job in the Bible. I'm a Christian myself.

And a lot of people don't realize that, that I also believe in Jesus. But I also believe that you can be spiritual without being religious. Yeah, I'm not. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, no. I can't stand the people because it's it's a relationship with a man like it's your father like you gotta look

people look at it like a scary thing it's like that's legit your father whenever i have panic attacks i listen to christian music and i listen to joyce myers i love joyce myers she's like one of my idols i don't think i've heard of her dude if you're ever down listen to a joyce my i don't know if she's your your speed but i listen to her sermons all the time and i'm telling you it like i know i don't i know i know uh i listen to pastor lock a lot i don't know who that is uh greg lock i can't wait to see him going sunday uh he's just like one of the pastors i've i've seen here in my life that like is just complete full-on tell you how it is like you'll be convicted you'll be walking out like shit i need a change you know i mean and it's a good like feeling because

everybody's like wrapped up in this like all about yourself self self yeah and they lose track of like they don't give a fuck about anybody but themselves one of the things i really admired about you um when you were first coming out as being a christian is that no matter what anybody said to you you didn't waver no and i love that i just don't care i was watching that because i was like dude they're gonna fucking try to break her like i wanted to reach out to you so bad but i mean we have so many people who reach out to us every day it's like do the dms yeah i have to literally scroll to find you yeah to find you i was like hey i'm here i'm the only type of name and yeah it was bad yeah so i just sat back and i watched and i was like this poor girl man but i also was like go little rock star because i was

watching you literally crawl no i'm serious i was so proud of you i even told mimi that like i was so happy that you still like stood in your conviction and was like no i love jesus i don't care what you guys say about me like i don't have to be the perfect Christian yeah this is it's uh this fake lie that uh you have to wear certain things and talk a certain way like I shouldn't cuss and I know it I cuss like a sailor me too I dress like sorry mom but also my mama gave it to me right um it's more of like I know what I need to work on I don't need other people to tell me especially when I'm telling you it myself well my thing is you know people that like, I know what I need to work on. I don't need other people to tell me, especially when I'm telling you it myself. Well, my thing is, you know, people that are always telling you what you need to fix, need

to fix things within themselves also. So it's like, why are you throwing stones in my house? Right. There's a difference of like, I have some great girls, man, that reach out like, hey, you're slipping. I'm like, hey, I know. Yeah. But also, um, I got a, I got a stubborn place too.

I got a stubborn problem where i'm like just because you said it i want to do it more that is so bad but it is because it's like dude i already fucking know why do i need you to tell me and i get it because i get the uh the righteous judgment stuff i'm like no you are literally still judging the absolute fuck out of me and you're making me want to do it more yeah you are people think that telling people what they're doing like i won't reach out to you unless you come to me if you're struggling me want to do it more. Yeah. You are. People think that telling people what they're doing. Like, I won't reach out to you unless you come to me if you're struggling. Like, I don't need to call out what you're struggling with.

Exactly. That's what I'm saying. If somebody wants advice, we're going to ask for it. But until then, just sit back and enjoy the show. You know, like. Dude, my life is a shit show. Yeah. You should label this J shit show.

We can. We could definitely do that. Like, I can't. Like, there's some stuff. Like, even Barbara, she's my manager. She will literally be like, dude, half of the stuff you tell me if i haven't seen with my my own eyes i would think you're insane i would think you're a liar like she has been i don't know how did you find barbara how did you get the management so i was just scrolling through my dms

and uh just read it and she was like hey i want to manage it was like sure and then she uh i did playlists i broke my foot jumped off a balcony yeah i heard about that so what happened with that man i was just stupid drunk shit i was i was higher than a motherfucker and i had uh jumped off a balcony onto a broken couch uh and then realized it was broken when i felt it popping when i'd walk and then nobody believed me it was broken they're like suck it up I'm like fine a week later I'm like throbbing in pain I'm like mom you got to take me fair enough she's laughing her ass off at one in the morning I'm in crutches I can't use them so I didn't and that's exactly that was also when we had moved and became homeless so I'm also walking on my foot it's hell and then on the way there like to the drive uh I don't know why my parents just couldn't let me sleep.

12-hour drive, that was rough. And my dog had flew out the back of my dad's car. Oh. Going maybe 70. Still alive. Oh, my God. Just one thing after another. And lately, since I moved to Olive Branch, it's 30 minutes from Memphis, I have found, like, a lot of peace. Like, a lot of people have been reaching reaching out like, hey, you look good.

Yeah. Like you're doing good. Like you're not that fucked up anymore. You're still fucked up. But you're still, you're doing good. And I was like, yeah, I think it's just because I cut a lot of people off. Baby, you're 21 years old and you're growing up in front of the world. Yeah.

You're going to go through fucking. People don't look at that though. Well, after they hear this podcast, they will. I'm telling you right now right now because i have i don't think they've ever seen this out of me i have a way of putting things in perspective for people and that's one of i think that's a gift that god gave me is i've always been able to see both sides of the story you're fucking 21 you're gonna be 50 more people in front of our eyes in your lifetime. I'm still changing who I am. I change my hair every other fucking day.

You know what I'm saying? It's like you're going, you're going to find, you're discovering who you are. Yeah. You don't even know who you are. Sometimes it's like, I'm a very self worker. Like if I know I'm fucking up or I fuck somebody over. That's a great trait to have. I'm a very self-aware queen

like i would never tell you i would never be in denial if you're like hey jay you you did this to me i'd be like i apologize sorry but that's an amazing it's so rare though i can't tell you how where like rare it is to have people own up to shit like i'm so blunt and straight up and open book like that's why i would always tell people if it didn't come from me it's not true because i will tell you stuff i literally don't care like we're all gonna die yeah i'm a very i like that's why I would always tell people if it didn't come from me it's not true because I will tell you stuff I literally don't care like we're all gonna die yeah I'm a very I think that's why also people are very comfortable talking to me about their problems but sometimes like I'll be struggling behind like I there's been multiple times where like my buddy just called me I've never heard him cry for like two years but I had just got done with the breakdown

but he wasn't gonna know because I'm focused on your pain but you've got to start focusing on your yeah but it's just like protecting your peace is a form of self-care i get over i know also i got a jacuzzi bathtub bro face the front bro let's talk about modeling i saw that you were like modeling on a truck on one dude like listen I had started I don't know why I had the idea I was just like okay it's summer this but I posted a bathing suit video and people liked it and I was like instant thought bikini kind of like absolutely yeah then I was like wait a minute maybe because I'm already gonna get the, you're not a Christian. She's not a Christian. Um, it was more of a, I don't think me wearing a bathing suit, uh, and as a whole is making you stumble.

Right. But I know that there's females out there that I guess want me to wear a jumpsuit to swim. Yeah, no. And, uh, maybe an astronaut suit would be better. It's just like, like a i think a bathing suit is modest i don't know and i even went super classy on it too listen very classy you could wear a turtleneck and people are still gonna call you a whore or or or yeah exactly wear the fucking

bathing suit so um live your life i was a little nervous but i did uh shoot a bikini out of the comfort zone and you looked hot though you look so good i was like yeah baby i got no boobies and you have proportionate you have the cutest little body i wish you could appreciate trust me when you get to be my age you're gonna look back on your body now and you're gonna be like holy fuck i was the shit like seriously well i always felt uncomfortable because i've never had photos done i've heard a lot of people like why don't you model i'm like no it ain't for me no no uh i can't do that that's how i feel ask my team anytime you're literally a model though i'm not anytime we do a photo shoot i shoot in five

minutes and i'm like let's get the fuck out of here that was me i also couldn't be serious right but we i'm really excited to come out i really that would be hilarious if i sent you one hey give me one we'll hang it like i'm telling, it's the most redneck, but, like, sexy, classy. I love it. Like. Dude, can we have one, please? I swear, we'll hang it up here. You'll have to sign it for me, and we'll hang it up here, right here.

Oh, my God. I'll keep it in the studio. No, I'm serious. I've never done it. I'm really excited for it, though. I'm excited. Those motherfuckers are going to fly off the shelves. Mark my words.

Well, if I do make any money from it, it's literally going to parents for sure. No. So are you taking care? Are you allowed to talk about this? Are you taking care of your parents? No, it's just I like to help them out because it's like it's weird at my age because I know, you know, some people my age don't, you know, they can't rent a home by themselves. It's just like, you know, money. I don't give a fuck if I have money. If I don don't it's just like i do make more than the average 21 year

old female uh and that's cool don't care it's god's money not mine but it's like the more i make i'm not really good at saving i'm really good at spending and i want like a big extra i don't like giving it to them like in little amounts i want. I want to do, like, a huge amount, like, out of nowhere and be like, dude, don't stress over again. You know? Because it's like. You have such a giving heart. Oh, for sure, man. And I don't like to accept either.

But I can't wait because I want to get my dad a six-inch lift. I want to, you know, do whatever they want. My mom's a super good, like, gardener. Like, I just want to see them happy but it's just like garden for shit tell your mom to teach me me either i try i kill i can't take care of myself but like i that's gonna do i'm gonna do that yeah you're gonna garden one day i gotta i gotta get like i would rather them live on like a super nice thing and i'm cool with a legit modular home like those bitches are bitches are badass. A modular home, dude. Is that the new homes

that they're doing? Like, the tiny homes? It's like, okay, like, it's different from a trailer, but you can literally build it however you want. Make it a big, make it as big as you want to, and I want something, it's just me, you know, I don't see myself getting married anytime soon. Let's talk about that. What's dating life? It's awful. Like, it's honestly awful you know i don't see myself getting married anytime soon let's talk about that what's dating life dating it's awful like like it's honestly awful why do i keep finding trash men don't know because you haven't worked on the issues within yourself you're gonna keep attracting your childhood trauma yeah it's just so gross um i think it's more i'm not laughing at you I'm laughing at your reaction the things you say yeah I I they're trash that's all I can say uh I think it's more of um I will never feel a dude generally likes me for me it's like a trophy of my feeling and I'm just like dude can we just

talk like well you're in a really fucked up age group right now yeah boys are just really horny and there's so much clout chasers out here now so it's like you're probably not gonna really find that deep love for a little while you know maybe ever no it'll happen but yeah i would say it's shit uh i don't think i would date for a while but do you don't have do you have boyfriends or you just have friends homie loving friends i would say uh wait so i would say i i won't fuck them right but like if i had to be under the whore category because every girl has to do that to themselves i would be under the makeout whore for sure yeah there's nothing wrong with that yeah i would say i could kiss a lot of dudes but like if it's not serious we're not dating like i'll kiss you here and there but like i can't kiss more than one dude at one time yeah i feel weird plus i won't get sick what about girls do you like girls i've

definitely went through a uh phase uh were you like full-on gay or just okay no i i wouldn't even say i was bi i just would drunk experimental kiss girls a lot oh me too i'd listen to this day if i get any liquor in me i want to make out with everybody around me yeah i don't know what it is like the last girl um i'm just kidding oh you you might never i don't know uh it was it was kind of weird because like i didn't expect it but she just full- on just made out with me. I was like, oh, wow. Who was it? Her name's Zoe Ann On.

I don't know who that is. She's, like, kind of blown up on TikTok. Really, really pretty country girl. Think she got a man now. But that girl will kiss any girl drunk. I mean, anything. She's my kind of girl. Anything.

But, yeah, I definitely, I would, like like probably go through a phase where I would kiss more girls at a bar. I feel more comfortable with women. Yeah. You just feel safer. You know that they're not like predatory. Yeah. Never, never dated.

I've never done any of that stuff. Never licked a cooter. No. Never bumped a beaver. No. No, I've just, I've just made out. Strictly dickly. Just made out, man.

So when your manager talks about things that you've seen, like, what are some of the fucked up shit you've seen in this industry since you've become famous? Can you talk about some of those things? Probably going to die soon. I'm kidding. Do you believe in the Illuminati and stuff like that? Oh, it that oh it's real yeah 100 everybody asks me if me and my husband are in the fucking illuminati and i'm like first of all if you're in the illuminati you don't say you're in the illuminati you know um but no we're not no dude they have like real long meetings in

california at like two to three in the morning with like weird ass candles and like people are dressed in like white clothes eyes uh eyes wide shut type shit like just have you ever seen that movie no i'm not i'm not smelling what you're stepping in it's it's uh they do like say they do like seances with masks and shit like that my manager's over here dying um yeah i know it was some creepy shit man um i know did you go to it or you just know of it both you went to one because i didn't know i thought it was a party and they wanted to like take your phone and shit and i was like somebody invited you to a party in the hills in hollywood i was like i'm not going in bye and it was creepy because like a lot of people you think wouldn't be there was there wow yeah and i honestly honestly am

afraid of talking about it because like this world is fucked up it's the world is ran by like some fucked up people oh i know you know the rothschilds oh of course you know are you woke in that way oh yeah yeah of course yeah i've been i was a conspiracy theorist before it was conspiracy theories were cool yeah yeah um so it's more of like a i know what's up uh not many people do but it's just like it's like a little scary yeah because it's the shit's it is completely real no i actually i grew up in a really strict christian home and my mom or my stepmother always had books on like satanism oh god so i read a whole bunch of like i like all the rituals they do with the children dude that's real and that's another thing i saw um there would be people like in a circle with uh

i think they were saying this i'm not sure in a circle like outside so did you go inside this party or no hell no i said i'm leaving right hell no but you did see people in a circle and yeah that's crazy man can you say some of the people who you saw there or no fuck no i am not dying today gotcha um after this podcast off i'm giving you a whole list yeah um for sure yeah that's crazy i don't want to die no i get it i get it but like yeah no they they they for sure like it's real um and it's just all a certain agenda do you think that had a had something to do with you running to christianity for sure yeah for sure because you feel something that evil and see something that evil up close it literally changes you it'll let the hair on the back of your and i

think it's from uh just your life changing so quick like I'm a freaking host at a Tampa Hard Rock Casino and now I'm in Howie Mandel's little I don't know what it was wasn't a house it was like a hangout building I don't know so it was Howie Mandel who was hosting the party no no no it was just like it's like your life goes so quickly right change i mean i'm in california i've never been there it's not me i'm a fucking redneck yeah and at heart for sure but it's just like i remember going i always felt weird i always knew it wasn't myself i was like i'm not a stoner i'm not and i these people i don't need to be around them yeah and like they would have origi boards and shit in the house like i could feel it i could feel it no i know and it was like no matter how high i got it never left my brain like it was always like God was tugging on me to be like yo

yeah what are you doing child like come to me you know and I finally had a I was just fucking done with it I got the taste of the media don't care for it cool could be gone tomorrow you know don't care how so how do you make your money with social media do you do brand oh definitely some brand deals uh i got close friends where like people are uh i don't know why they are so interested it's kind of cool um like you just literally you know like an instagram story that you post and you make it close friends yeah people want to see me post normal shit my life yeah awesome uh that's about it do you do youtube and stuff like that i've never posted on youtube bro yeah oh so you've never done youtube that's crazy that you're a video as known as you are

and fucking have never posted on youtube i think i have one video and it was it was hi jay 2019 jay that's what we we call her um and i also uh just came out with a well it hasn't came out yet but i I did a Christian show. Oh, very cool. Kind of where you're definitely going to be on it. It's just like this. Yeah? Mm-hmm.

I would love to. About all your traumas with Jesus. I would love to. And before and after, whatever. I've got a story. Let me tell you. Like, all these bad things that's happened to you. I grew up in Vegas.

I grew up in Vegas and LA. Oh, gosh. Yeah. So, I know everything that you're talking about is not new to me. Yeah. It was really cool to do. Also, I don't think I'm good at it, but it was kind of like, I was just like, I couldn't be serious and I'd be like, yo, so no, they'd be talking about some fucked up shit. And I'm like, I don't have emotions myself. I do want to comfort you, but I

just don't know how, like you're crying. I should be crying. Right. I don't know. No, I'm not friend to people crying. I'm like, I know. I'm like, sometimes, sometimes I get, I can really, if it hits me hard, hard in the heart, but you know, I think it's, I made for like the, uh, I think the talent part and the part, I'm not the serious part to like interview people. And I did, I loved it, but it was like, it's not for me. Right. The producer the whole time had to repeat herself maybe 30 times to be

like say it again say it again i'm like what are you saying yeah you're like bitch this isn't my this isn't my jam people want me to do like saturday night live i think dude i think it would be fucking hilarious i think you would rock that shit dude i think the world definitely needs to see more of you jay and i think that right now you're young and you know people are still trying to figure yeah people are still trying to figure you out and you're figuring yourself out but your people love you you have more people that love you than people that hate you i'm in my first hater in real life really at the fucking hair salon getting my hair done i got caught a hussy what the fuck is that i thought she literally called me a hush puppy

and i was like what is a hussy i was like are we in the 1960s i was about to say how fucking old was she probably like 24 i didn't even know her okay well that's that was learned behavior her mom says that so for sure i was like wait what oh she's talking crazy it's like the hair salon girl like tell me all about it i'm like dude i don't first off do you think i care too like i don't know y'all i just want my hair done and it was like call me a hussy and all this shit talking about like they know my life better than me it was weird you gotta deal with that shit too yeah well no people don't come up to me like that because i i just i'm i've always been a fighter and i think people know that in my life you know it was weird because like they were just like the girl supposed to leave like hours before but it's just like they stayed around just because i was

there i'm like dude you're i feel like a bully yeah what the fuck you got nothing else better to do you'll take care of your dog what a terrible fucking human dude yeah it's been it's been how did you get away from that i mean i wanted to and it was awkward questions like is that your truck and i'm like it's just sound like that you're gonna pop my fucking tires or something you know what you should probably caught her dude fucking jerking off to you or something dude probably i'm not gonna probably i was like i don't know your man um so yeah so we were talking about fillers before the show started i know a lot of people are just like her face looks different she has she had work done she looks beautiful

let's clear the rumors right now the only thing i've ever had done was my lips twice each time both girls no disrespect you suck um it hurts so fucking bad. And, like, she put the filler. No, dissolver. Oh, no. Did you do it without numbing? She put. For sure. Oh, shit.

And she put dissolver in my mouth, my lips, without even telling me. And it burned like lava. Oh. Four times. And I was literally in the chair like this. I thought that was, like, illegal. Why wouldn't she tell you? Because, I don't know.

It's a shit show, man. We need to give you my injector. I am scared. Like, it hurts so bad show man we need to give you my injector i'm scared like it hurts so bad we all go to the same injector i just had my eyes done literally a day ago and you can't even barely tell what's that i well i had filler under my eyes because i'm old you don't need it but i'm just saying that's how good our girl is is that you can't even tell so you know not at all i'll give you i'll give you her information so that um you can go to her um you know whatever you do feel like getting your list yeah it was like 100 bucks

each time and it lasted for maybe seven days and it's somewhere floating in my face so so you don't do drugs but you do drink do you think you have a drinking problem oh for sure people say i gotta drink it no for sure um i would say i know when this like i'm not i actually like yeah okay like it's just like i know how to control myself i just don't want to baby you're 21 but i know like i'm not addicted or an alcoholic but like i just can i please tell you that anything you're doing right now is not wrong we have a 14 year old at home and we tell her listen if you're gonna drink drink at home yeah do it at home like you know like you guys are rather be safe i'm sorry i know you probably don't like to hear this but you guys are babies i know you're 21 trust me i don't know what i'm

doing you're not just here yeah you're not you're not doing anything wrong you're doing what every fucking normal 21 year old has ever done in their entire life i can drink though yeah i mean drinking i'm a grown man i drank out every dude last night and i was still tatered and you're still here and i still woke up puffy face and all because you know i'll probably make your face bloated and i was like beautiful damn i'm gonna be on camera today i barely brushed my weave out because i got so much hair spraying it from the night before i was like she gotta take me as i am my buddy nathan you'd love him uh he dropped me off he's like dude i'm gonna walk the house call me when you're done yeah i was like love you man he could have came in he's very uh you

would love him uh he he's like one of the only people i have like that you can trust oh for sure but he also will put me in my my place well that's somebody that in a good way yeah like you know he's a really good dude he's mature he's like 26 and i'm like he's i really i don't see myself losing him anytime soon he's really good for me for sure um he's a good protector too and he ain't no weird crap like like so he's not the jelly he's a grown man like the first one i've ever met honestly my parents love him when's his birthday october 12th so he's a libra and you're a cancer apparently people think i'm a leo you're a cancer leo you're right on the 25th baby yeah you're a cancer well no you are a leo wait 22nd i think is leo all right so you're

on the cusp cancer cancer leo whatever the fuck that is well you guys are compatible extremely compatible i don't fucking i don't even know what that shit is man leo what like capricorn acorn stuff so what does the next year have for you it beats me um hopefully what do you want the next year to have for you i want to be more mature i want to get my fucking four-wheeler fixed buy for four grand can't ride it built damn near built the whole thing damn um i'm sorry i just pisses me off you're the cutest thing about it right now anyways you didn't even get the fuck title gave me a bill of sale anyways so i'm just trying to live in your life i'm trying to make money just so i can a lot and that what i was telling you

about that huge chunk to be like here that's it yeah um i kind of want to uh you know get out of this rental house for sure i honestly want to move to mount juliet oh do it you'll be right by us because i love this with us all the time yeah and plus it's just like these are my people and like i feel comfortable around them i have the best time and then it's just like i go back to there and it's just like nothing but these people do not grow up there's nothing fun and i it's just like i go back to there and it's just like nothing but these people do not grow up there's nothing fun and i thought it was like better for my walk it's making it worse because i have nothing else to do um i just be in my thoughts and here it's like it was my freaking pastors here where you're watered go where your soul feels watered you know definitely

mount julia and it's nice yeah i love and uh you know or franklin but like nashville not good for me dude i've spent 50 fucking grand one time like in a month on broadway oh i believe it and it was like youtube gave me a good deal on these shorts i was so dumb it was like oh fuck i got a lot of money now let's just go fuck it up oh no could have gave that to my parents you know well i mean you're you're learning i'm living and learning you're learning the regrets i have don't live in if i could give you any advice please do not live in regrets mimi when you were 21 what were you doing blowing money blowing dudes you know like fucking blowing breath water yeah hello you know like you just fucking have fun live your life it does not matter don't be so hard on yourself oh that's like the biggest thing about me and i think i like it

because it just keeps me it can be toxic though as you can see because you're just sitting there like baby girl go to therapy but that's how you learn and that's how you gain wisdom and that's how you mature is by going through shit i actually think in most ways i'm more mature than doing fucked up shit yeah no i think you're i think you're great i think you're a great i think in some ways i really do think so it's just everybody thinks like oh you just party too hard okay fuck everybody party and then fuck them they're not living your life and when you lay your head down at night you know what's in your heart you know what's in your mind and you know who you are as a human you know what you can do in your free time that's really cool um like honestly it makes you feel good like i would write hand write like 50 of them

and like a little verse and like a little personal message and just put them around people's mailboxes no they probably think honestly you gotta take a go with you because some people do be trying your shit i'm like i'm just trying to leave a message i love that you should do that as like i do it all the time um that was like one thing I did probably forgot that I shared. Sorry, Lord. No. Because it's, like, makes you feel good. And, like, instead of, you know, putting myself in positions where it's, like, it's gonna,

this is, I know, I don't learn from my actions. Hey, let's just put shit in people's mailboxes now. Yeah. You know? Huh? So, it's, like, a, I don't know, there's so many so many things i'm weird i got a weird creative mind um i do smoke delta eight sometimes yeah it's not even real weird yeah it's like the stuff you get the vape store didn't you smoke that yeah it's like it gives you a little something

oh it took me three hours of grocery shop and i lost my id in there gives you a lot of something then stop licking the desk chach but yeah it's just like i just you know i've calmed down a lot it's just i'm still figuring it out i just just trying to have fun and i love calling people out too i love that too and they hate i know you're like the same i love that no that's yeah i'm putting like i don't condone bullying at all oh i know like don't come for me don't come for me i just don't like the people they like to hide their mistakes hide their like don't let don't feel me drinking right now because i have an image like a fake image that's the corniest that's the

thing i like i'll never act like somebody i'm not like and i don't try to rub it in your face all for these christians like if i drink i'm literally being honest about it you should like the transparency not like you god can see your private stories too, baby. Yeah. The fuck? At least modern public. I got nothing to hide. Yeah.

There's not, you know, and people don't get that. They're just like, you're setting a bad example. Okay. The example should be Jesus. Do you ever just want to turn your comments off sometimes? Yeah. But then I look like a bitch. Yeah.

That's not how I feel too. I can't do it. I can't. My pride. That's how I feel too. So I just clap back. My pride is like, nah, come on. Yeah. You's how i can't do it i can't my pride so i just clap back my pride's like nah come on yeah you know yeah i can't i think i did it on one i only turned my comments

off on one video and it was because they were giving me shit for putting him in a fucking uh shopping cart he's a he's a service dog they're like he shouldn't be in the shopping cart yeah i'm like oh my god dude i call him pita people he's this is my baby you know i know he kind of low-key scared me a little bit i'm gonna put him in a shopping cart if i want big head if you want to buy me he can't he's got such an underbite it's so bad his poor mouth i'll show you later it's fucking it's fucked up his whole setup is fucked you know why uh a question for you is how are you doing mentally i you know i have a i can dude i don't i'm not gonna be real like you can look at you you've been through the fucking mud yeah no for sure like but you're so do i look road hard and put

away is that what you're trying to say no like it's like your your heart was like completely shattered or something i was maybe a few times and then now it's you're good but like i was you without all the cameras because i don't really know your story that much but you could tell like you're so genuine i love you you remind me of mama tot a little bit oh i love mama tot was just on the podcast for real oh yeah she was amazing yeah she was yeah she was just on the podcast uh i might have seen i might have i don't know shout out to mama tot man she just lost her son yeah did you know that she just dude i saw a video something like that i don't know what the fuck happened but like what i still don't know what happened it's just like her son was shot i think um in a parking

lot and they're still trying to figure out like the details and stuff like that but that woman's been through so fucking much man oh i know man I know, man. And for this to happen to I'm just like, back to back, dude, I just can't. And in front of the, you know, social media, it's hard. I just can't wait to hug her again. Like she's really just she is the Dolly Parton of our generation. Everybody tries to say I am and I i can't even take that title like mama tot really she really is like she she i don't know she um i think she went through a lot i know she'd make stuff for people that like couldn't talk to their moms and stuff yeah and sometimes i'd be sitting there you should go next woman in my bed just you should listen no you should listen to her podcast that we did i mean it'll yeah it was two hours but literally you'll fucking i cried the entire podcast oh you almost made me squeeze one i was trying once again i had that hard act i

sounded toxic trade i had the hard wall of i was like i can't cry it's a week no i was i'll probably cry on the car i get it i'm the same way ask them i don't cry like i'm not a crier you have to literally physically probably hurt me to get me to cry no i try to you know yeah it sucks because i'm always in that masculine energy from these trash men but you won't you'll never step into your feminine until the men step out of their feminine those dudes that you are fucking with are in their feminine energy they're not even alpha either more of a beta male they're in their feminine energy and then i'm like i'm like where's your truck at get some mud on your boots they're like you're being mean i'm like no i'm just being real i'm used to like hard when like a like a chase chase matthews let's talk about chase matthews oh god i was actually gonna ask you about him how how was that are we allowed

to talk about it yeah for sure so you guys were dating and what happened no i won't even say that i would just say because he is dating my cousin right now my little cousin so i would like to know what kind of human he is so i would say he was a great dude it was just i don't think we could have ever lasted i think it was just more we could be really close friends um we definitely did make out in an elevator though drunk well that makes me feel better that he's a decent dude because no chase is a good dude um he can have his dick moments but he can't you know he's a good dude i mean he's another dude who just fell into fucking oh for sure no we had a deep that's why i really fuck with chase like even if i never spake to that

dude again he would always have a place in my heart because i will never forget when he looked at me and it was just me in his house. And he was like, do you ever know what it feels like to not know if your best friend could like kill you one day? He just feels like sometimes you can't trust his circle. Right. And I'll never forget like the way he looked when he said it. You know, I felt bad. And we would just drink moonshine in his little freaking rigged studio with some fame on the wall and just chill.

He was a good dude. I always pray for him, too, because I know it's hard as well being a Christian and, you know, being in the concert life. It's fucking hard. Yeah. He'll always have a heart, you know, a place in my heart. Yeah. But we've had some funny moments, man. Me and him in Upchurch.

Oh, my gosh. I haven't got to meet Upchurch yet. As much as close as him and my husband are. Yeah, I haven't got. I want Upchurch on the podcast, but he's going through some shit with Nicole Arbor right now. And God, again, she's suing him again. This bitch is suing him. And this is the only thing that was long gone, dude.

This is the only female I'll talk shit about publicly because I have had her on my podcast. And I never aired the podcast because the minute she walked out of the studio, I looked at Mimi and I said, that bitch is fake. I don't like everything. Everything she said on this couch was a fucking lie, you know? And then all that scandal broke loose where she tried to say all that shit and sue all them. So now she's suing up church because she was in the room while some songs were written.

That would be like me suing my husband for the albums he's written or the songs he's written about me like she's just she needs to be deported period she's from canada why the fuck is she here terrorizing america i feel so like up church i'm not gonna lie as one of the strongest dudes yeah no he's that dude has dealt with a lot oh i know i talk about paranoid um i remember he uh i lived in like the most shitty apartment in nashville it was so expensive for no reason it was a hamster box and him and chase uh had came over and i was uh just drinking a few you know i think i just begged for one ain't you know yeah and um we had went downstairs because we wanted to dip and i was like yeah i'll put one in yeah and we ended up sitting in the middle of kind of

like a road because up church had locked his truckies in his truck so then we had to wait for i think his name is tubbs yeah to come by and save the day but during that like it was just a us three just chilling in the back of a truck um drunk as hell i made omegas and bacon um talking about all types of stuff i think we talked about jesus we were hearing gunshots and we all were like you know it's a good he's a good deep dude like i love that and i love that he found love finally i know with that one chick bethany she and she seems like i heard she does so much for him and he does like they're like a perfect country yeah i love it i love it and she's saying

you know what a lot of these girls in the industry don't talk to me because why well a lot of the wives don't fuck with me because i'm half naked on the internet and you know they don't know me until they have a conversation with me and she's never been like that though let him judge oh no i don't honey i do not give a shit and these girls know that but uh bethany was always really cool with me she's never like been weird she's never i'd never i have never met her i just hear ryan how he talks about her and like you can tell he's yeah i've never met her personally but i've talked to her online and she's just always very sweet and just she's always cooking she likes my shit all the time like even when i'm half naked i'm like you know what i fucking like you you know like

it's just the sweetest thing ever so i love that crowd like yeah no they're all they're all doll faces i think a lot of these nashville boys um the older crowd like my husband and and uh i don't think i you know what's crazy i didn't even know that until like i started creeping i didn't even know who is that is like real name jelly like i didn't really know i was like i didn't know um no that's his uh i just started listening to his music yeah this morning i was like about to tear up it was like this morning it was like the listen to his addiction kills album it's a little more hyphy and we were on the west coast when he wrote it so i like to think that i influenced the sound um and it's like it's the party album pretty much well this song it was

kind of sad which one son of a sinner save me save me oh god yeah i love that one yeah no i almost yeah i put me in the feels yeah no his music related to it you're gonna have to come we're having a huge uh show at the bridgestone december 9th arena right yeah the bridgestone arena yep december 9th so you're gonna play that song oh of course i'm not kidding i'm never like you know i think i heard from uh jelly from my my boy rev yeah probably yeah dad has been around a while friends with chase and i met rev through chase when i mean we wrecked on my chase and daddy have done a few shows together um so I need to get up to date maybe yeah I'm just coming around if you move to Mount Julia you'll be up on I'm in my own world all the time like just that's a good thing though floating I'm making money and making

memories and I don't know I just I've never really had many problems here well Jay I can't wait to see what this next year brings you and you gotta promise me you'll come back on the podcast next year i want to i want to like check in with you yearly and just see how you're doing and everybody could see your progress i might bring the snake i got a parrot i forgot to tell you i got parrot maybe i'll bring the parrot bring the parrot chachi will fucking probably shit bricks but we'll have i won't bring chachi that day um i really thank you so much for trusting me with your story and coming here. Dude, thank you so much for, what? Like, so cool.

Also, nice car. Because, like, I don't know why we drove up. I was like, I got to be her. I got to be your car. Yeah. Oh, the G-Wagon? Sorry. It's so dirty.

Kayla came to pick me up, and I was like, what the fuck? Did you go off-roading in this? Like, what the fuck happened? Like, it was so dirty. Sorry I was hungover this whole time. Thank you so, no, you're this whole time. Thank you so, no, you're fine,

dude. Thank you so much for coming. Like I just, I love the light that you shine and I think you're just an absolute fucking doll. Too nice. It's really nice. Thank you guys for tuning into another episode of dumb blonde. I will see you guys next week.

Bye. Yay. You got to make eye contact with the camera. Yeah, dude, I was like, how do we close it out?