Dumb Blonde - Josh Wolf: Clowns, Microdosing, and Hookers

Episode Date: October 27, 2021

The hilarious Josh Wolf joins Bunnie this week to talk about what life is really like as a stand-up comic, how he got connected with Jelly and now loves performing with him, and the worst time he's ever bombed on stage. Josh talks about going from performing as a clown and getting indecent proposals from moms to appearing as a regular on Chelsea Lately, the car ride that changed his life, microdosing, choosing happiness, and what surprises his fans most when they meet him in real life. Watch Full Episodes & More: www.dumbblondeunrated.com "I would suck a clown's dick" - Bunnie   Bunnie: www.dumbblondeunrated.com Josh Wolf: www.comedianjoshwolf.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Get those dollar bills ready. She's got an ass that shakes like Michael J. Fox. So get up there and throw, throw, throw them dollars. Dude, that is fucking iconic. What's up, you sexy motherfuckers? Welcome to another episode of Dumb Blonde. Today, the guest that I have, if you do not know who he is, you have been living under a rock

mr josh wolf the king of comedy over here what's going on how you doing good how you doing i'm doing good that guy sounded like he was driving on a leaf blower you know it's i thought it was a weed eater at first i was like fuck my life do you know when i was oh my god holy shit very very young comic in la zero money i drove a little i drove like a scooter i drove a moped right oh my god a moped so but the mopeds muffler was broken so it sounded like a harley yeah so when you drove when it would if you heard of that guy guy guy guy and you were like let's see what's coming down the street there's me on a moped like that is hilarious it was and that was also during the time when i was entertaining at children's parties and they the guy wouldn't let me show up and get changed so i had to show up in costume so i had to ride around on the fucking moped

thank god in cut like dressed like peter pan i was just about to say, okay, so for those of you who don't know who Josh is, Josh Wolf is very huge in the comedy circuit. And I mean, there's just so much ground to cover here. It's like, which angle do we even start from? You're like so multifaceted that I'm just like, which angle do we go with? I think here, I think we start with this. I think we start with the fact that we know each other. Yes within 15 meeting minutes of meeting your husband i'm like this is a real dude oh yeah and so that's what i i i'm a that's what i'm attracted to real people dude daddy is

100 genuine soul like he is just he's so special and that's the first thing i ever said to him when i met him i was like you're special i was like there's something really special about you and he's just like what are you talking about bitch suck my dick all right we ain't talking about how special i am and that's how i fell in love yeah that is i mean that's how you that's how you yeah totally so okay you started out doing kids parties yeah well yeah you know as inner and you know the most embarrassing first of all definitely there was one mom who who had a clown fetish oh i do too she paid me in cash and blow job yes while you were dressed up as a clown yes dude she's straight straight up i started to take the clown outfit off and she was like nope i was like what she was like

i've always wanted to do this with somebody with a clown outfit and i was like okay like she definitely had her butt touched when she was younger for sure and you know what that's okay because we talk about trauma on my show all the girls that are listening understand about the trauma yo i would suck a clown's dick i'm actually might have jade dress up as a clown for a fucking halloween now are we are we going just like clown clown suit creepy clown like what kind of clown i'm down down for the clown by the way that is a great t-shirt with a clown face right here i can't even take credit for that that's icp the juggalos have already fucking coined that phrase that is but i will tell you like there's something there was something extra fun for me yeah i bet you

know what i mean oh i definitely i squeezed my horn when you were fucking when she was blowing me i was like that's i mean that is hilarious still gonna make it funny you know that is so funny okay so where are you from originally i grew up in massachusetts okay um and you made your way down to la for comedy or has comedy always been your thing that you wanted to start with or what? Did you want to be an actor? Just not everywhere from laughing about the thing I can clean it off my nostrils right now By the way, you know what I love you see this is when I perform also if I spit or something comes out Yeah, that's the first thing I say. I'm like, did you see this is when i perform also if i spit or something comes out yeah that's the first thing i say i'm like did you see that big thing a thing you gotta address

it you know because then if you claim it nobody can be like oh my god did you see the fucking snot rocket come out of her nostrils you know beat them to the punch yeah i love that um when i was 15 i want i saw stand-up on on tv and uh I told my parents, I want to try that. Yeah. And they drove me to the show. The first joke I ever told, my mom and dad were in the front row, and I said, hey, everybody, I'm Josh. I'm 15. I'm really nervous because this is the first fucking time I'll be able to fucking swear in front of my cock-sucking mom.

Oh, my God. And my parents were like, what is were like he went straight for the dirty fucking i just went straight for it if i'm gonna do this yeah but 15 like 15 15 and then and then the second gig i ever had i was in the display window of a uh department store in downtown hartford connecticut the dude saw me he was like hey i got a gig for you and i was like well this department store in downtown Hartford, Connecticut. A dude saw me. He was like, hey, I got a gig for you. And I was like, well, this comedy shit's easy.

Yeah. And he put me in a display window, which did not go that well. I was 15. Okay, what were you doing in the display window? I was hiding. So this is pre-camera phones and everything. Right. So I was hiding, and there was a microphone underneath a mailbox. So I was pretending to be in the mailbox.

I mean. You're like, fuck it. But you know what I admire, though? You were that young willing to work. Our kid is 13 and fucking I can't get her to do anything. I'm like, it's time. Come on, kid. Child labor laws are out the door here.

How old were you when you got your first job? 14. I was 13. Yeah, and I ran away from home at 14 and never went back. Is that right? Yeah. I've worked my whole life, so I expect the same from this little shit bag at home. I'm just kidding.

I'm kidding, B. I love you. I got my first job at 13. My kids worked. You know, when Jacob, my youngest son, right? He went to college for a semester, and he was like, this isn't for me. I said, cool. I said, it's not for everybody. You know, do whatever you want to do.

Yeah. He comes home and I go, but you know, you get three months. And then you got to be out of the house. Yeah. And he was like, why? I was like, well, you're not in college, right? And he said, no. And I said, well, grownups in the workforce don't live at my house.

Yeah. They live at their house. Yeah. I said, so you you got three months i love a good ultimatum yo you already told me he goes he goes why i go it's gonna be good for your self-confidence man it'll be good for you to learn how to live on your own yeah you know he told me he goes agree to disagree and i was like you can disagree with whatever the fuck you want to disagree with but three months you get three months five days into his own first place he sent me a video of him pouring a beer into captain crunch and taking a bong rip and he was like i love living alone shit that is fucking funny though i'm scared for bailey though man i

don't even think she would know how to even fucking rip a bong and fucking pour a beer and fucking cereal she's so spoiled we love her so much crazy though girls and boys are so different too though yeah yeah it's totally different girls are so much smarter they are they are really smart dangerously smart especially nowadays it's fucking insane the the kids i'm having conversations with my kid last night about pronouns he she fucking them there all that shit i've never and she's like schooling me she's like i don't present masculine you know because our daughter you know right now on this stage in her life is claiming to be a lesbian full-on so we support her you know i'm just like if this is how you want to be then my daughter did too at least i don't have to worry

about teen pregnancy yeah i said the same thing you know that's one less dick yeah exactly exactly is she still uh is your daughter still or is she did you find the wieners not she you know i think she would still tell you she's bisexual gotcha but she dates wieners okay i i remember the day she told us we were at at dinner at our house this was the most bizarre conversation it's different when they first tell you you're just kind of like weeping oh and we were at dinner and she's weeping and she's crying and she goes i go what's wrong and she goes i'm so ashamed i should have told you this she said but i'm dating amanda and i was like okay and then jacob who was 11 years old the brother he was sitting across from her and he goes, I'm in an Armenian gang.

I was like, what? You're like, what is going on at this fucking dinner table? Exactly. I was like, what are we talking about tonight? I even asked Beth. I'm like, you got anything you want to share? That's going to beat either one of these? Yeah, it was a crazy conversation.

That is awesome though. But she had been dating her best friend. Which is, you know what but I also understand like I think young girls probably feel emotion more than young boys absolutely especially nowadays and so they they really liked you know what I mean like that feeling I want beavers with my best yeah make a little sense we were scissoring when we were 16, so I totally understand. Yeah, I did the dick pretzel with a buddy of mine. Did you? No, I didn't.

I was like, did you see me? I was so excited. All right, so scaling back to this fucking, scaling back to this window thing, when did you, so when did you start making your way to LA? Because the first time I had ever seen you was on Chelsea Handler's, what was her show? Chelsea Lately.

Chelsea Lately. I was a fucking huge fucking Chelsea fan, which is crazy how it worked out later on in life because Chelsea's actually, you know, is producing our reality show and fucking loves Jay. I mean, just fucking her and Jay. Weirdest fucking couple ever, right? No, because here's what I really believe.

Real finds real. Yeah. Real finds real. Yeah, totally. So, you know, when you see these crazy crazy like combination dinner combinations you're where you're like yeah what's snoop dogg doing with martha stewart right real respects yeah real and those two you're not gonna get a whole lot more real than chelsea either you know oh no not at all she's hilarious yeah and and she's actually

who i modeled my team after how she has an all female team. So do I, like when I just watched her for a couple of days and I was like, I want to do what she's doing. She also is really, you know what? She's really good at, and she did it on the show all the time.

She doesn't need all the attention all the time. And you know, a good leader delegates to people to do their job. Yeah, absolutely. And trust that you're going to do your job. Yeah. And I'm going to pay you well. And, you know, a good leader delegates to people to do their job. Yeah, absolutely. And trusts that you're going to do your job. Yeah. And I'm going to pay you well.

But, you know, this is what I expect from you. Oh, yeah. No, I'm the same way. This is exactly how I run my fucking show. Everything's totally cool until you start doing what you're not supposed to do. Who does that sound like? And then, you know what? Then it's not fucking cool.

Yeah, no. And that's it. And that's it and that's it so like and like there were people that were at times she was just look man if you can't take the what she's gonna say to your face yeah it's not the right person to work for at all but you know i i got the heaviest i'd ever gotten on that show i was probably about 194 really i had to get i'd never thought you were super cute i had never had an office job right this was when i was writing on the so i was just sitting around yeah and i was walking up the stairs one day and from behind me i just heard oh your ass is so gross oh fuck and i turned

around and there she is she was like you gotta get your shit together you look terrible and you know what i went home and i go back have i gotten bigger and she's like yeah i'm gonna blow bigger i'm like i gotta fucking get my shit together but i but yo but but you know who says that to you a fucking friend right do you know what i mean like all my friends tell me although i have so many friends that mad at me right now because they're like you just say mean things and i'm like i'm not mean i'm keeping it real like there's a huge fucking difference i'm not going out of my way to hurt your feelings i'm trying to give you constructive criticism to fucking do better and you know what else you know who i don't give that criticism to is people i don't like right you you the people i don't like

or people i don't know yeah aren't i'm not gonna give you like wow how about i tell you what i think it doesn't fucking i don't care right i don't really care yeah I don't know I don't care if you get better or not right like I'm not gonna waste my time if I'm trying to build something with you I'm definitely gonna tell you yeah so finding you on Chelsea uh lately was how I saw you so how what led up to even Hollywood and LA and just getting out there first I'm sure Chelsea wasn't your first rendezvous. Well, so I had a lot of fun stops, man. I started doing stand-up. Actually, the fourth time I was ever on stage.

It might have been the fifth. I opened for a guy named Sam Kinison. Oh, my God. You got to meet Sam? Well, I mean, he was so fucked up. Dude, that's fucking iconic. It was absolutely crazy because he was so fucked up but dude that's fucking iconic absolutely crazy because he was like so there were two comics for me yeah um you cosby i was gonna say pre-rape but they actually probably during i mean you're like you didn't get you're like he didn't dress up in a

clown suit i'm sure he has i wouldn't or had you dress up in a clown suit. I'm sure he has. Or had you dressed up in a clown suit. One of those sweaters looks like a clown suit for sure. When I think of Bill Cosby, I think of always Christmas sweaters. Yeah, always those crazy sweaters. But his stand-up. It's a little rapey if you think about it. Now when you think about it, it definitely is.

Now whenever you say anything about him you're like all that seems a little rapey little rapey um america's dad sounds rapey when you say that now that you know that you're like that sounds super rapey jeez i didn't think it did before but now that sounds extra terrible we're terrible human bill we love you, I think. No, we don't. Oh, we don't? Okay, fuck.

I don't know. I don't know the whole deal with him. So my thing is I don't really speak on things I don't know. And I didn't really follow that case. I don't know if he was ever real. Was he convicted? He was convicted. He was put in jail.

And then he was on a, I think they'd call it a loop a technical loop a hoopla oh my god he's out but my thing is i feel like and this is getting off subject but i feel like i love women and i and i i stand behind women a hundred percent but i do feel like some women are really abusing the whole me too thing so it's like do we really know like well in this case you do okay and i think that like with every movement whatever movement you got there are going to be some people who try to take it back doesn't matter what movement you're in there's part of your movement that's doing it for their good right do you know what i mean but i also think that even if there are some women doing it it was so important for it to get out what the kind of

shit that had been happening there right because look look man i you know here's the way i look at it is not every guy when when i hear guys go yeah but not every guy cool but ask every woman in hollywood if somebody hasn't done something scummy to him so yeah so not every guy but every woman oh for sure do you know what i mean so like so that's i grew up in vegas oh so you fucking right right i've been in the industry for a long time yeah so that's my thing is like i'm with you i try not to speak on things right and have i ever seen well actually yeah yeah oh shit i've been me too oh but i was just like that's flattering because you're a dude did you just grab my penis for no reason it wasn't like horrible bosses i wish more people would do that

was it like horrible bosses straight up dude oh it wasn't even a hot chick or a woman but i'm one of the look man i'm very secure with who I am. Right. So if you grab my dick, guy or girl, I'm just going to be, I get groped. You're just going to go get the clown suit. Yeah, I just go get the clown suit. Wait here for my horn. I get touched inappropriately every meet and greet.

Wow. Every meet and greet. Everyone, at least somebody, at least grabs my ass. It's like male strippers everyone yeah everyone and so unless it's crazy right it's just not worth the the headache right now if you're gonna take a picture and i'm gonna take a picture of my hand on your nuts no probably not yeah but what if somebody credit cards you and just yeah stares at you listen if you give yourself if you give yourself a dirty sanchez that's your fucking problem i would definitely do that i learned my lesson i did that to a friend

one time and i my hand smelled like a big mac for like a week it was sick and it was a girl and it was rough yeah you were like yeah i was like i had to think twice before swiping asses we used to call it a credit card i stopped swiping after that it was it was fucking transaction declined oh my lord yeah a credit card i have got to try that on somebody. Do it to Beth. She'll love it.

She'll be like, what is wrong with you? I love your wife. Me too. She is so sweet, right? You know, like she and I are so different in so many ways. Right. But what I love the most about her, well, there's so many things, but she really lets me do, she lets me be.

Yeah. Like I take mushrooms at least once a week. the most about her well there's so many things but she really lets me do she lets me be yeah like i take mushrooms at least once a week i want to talk to you about that once we get back to the sam kendison and stuff like that because i microdosed for my first time yesterday and we'll talk about it in a minute um it's not enough about me let's talk about you no i mean i love talking about microdosing no i you've been the person i've wanted to talk to for a really long time about it i i but she lets me look man you know and i'm a little all over the place me too you know i'm a little i can't be the easiest person to live with right and she lets she knows me so well like so yesterday yesterday get ready for this so sunday yesterday was supposed to be

the photo shoot for my album that drops on the 19th. Awesome. And I had this whole thing set up the way I wanted it on Sunday, which included the way I needed my hair to look. On Sunday, I got a haircut. This lady cut my hair shorter than it's ever been ever. I hate when that happens. Jay does that, too, before big things.

So and I and I looked in the mirror. I'm like, this doesn't look like me anymore. And it isn't the person that i wanted so i had to scrap the photo shoot right oh no and try something new but but sunday that's sunday night from sunday night to like mid-monday afternoon beth knows me so well she knew just not that i'm not mad and i'm not mad at anybody right like i don't spend time being angry but i need to solve a problem right so she literally is like yeah i knew for a day just to leave you alone i don't need to ask you do you need anything like and i like the fact that even though that's not the way she solves it she knows that's the way i fucking solve it so she's like

yeah just do whatever the fuck you do i love that that's how jay and i are we just let each other just be right because when you try to micromanage that's when shit gets weird in a relationship and tension and you start to resent the other person because you're like god what did i marry my fucking mom you know like what's really happening here but i got that uh total sense from just meeting her the what one time that i met her just watching her and watching time that I met her, just watching her and watching you. And I was just like, they're super cute together. She's the kindest human.

Like sometimes I wake up and I'm like, oh, you're still here. Okay, cool. All right, we're still rolling? How long have you guys been together? We've been together since 2001. Oh, wow. So fucking 20 years. And I'm going to tell you right now we we rolled around this morning i still like every morning i'm like i'm ready if you're she's like no this is we're not 30 anymore so

she's like i'm gonna fuck alone yeah yeah no i get it i totally understand i want to have sex when i want to have sex yeah and jay always never wants to pull out he always wants to bust a load so it's like i gotta go to work out and fucking do squats with fucking shit dripping out of me. Like, no, thank you. Let's do this whenever I'm not busy, you know? So I totally understand you, Beth. Yeah, I mean, every now and then I try to lure her into the room. I'm like, I got to show you something.

She's like, show me down here. I'm like, yeah, exactly. There's a shooting, a flower. It's shooting something. I got something for you to suck on. Come here, lady. All right, so let's bring it back to fucking Sam Kinison and Bill. Those were like your first gigs.

But Bill was just the first guy that I watched. And I was like, this is fascinating. Oh, watched. Okay, gotcha. How he tells stories. And I love to tell stories on stage, you know? And so he tells stories, but he tells them on a stool, and he tells them about real things that happened to him,

and he doesn't swear, and he doesn't really raise his voice, but he still can keep everybody just pinned on him. Rapy. Wouldn't that be great if that had been his cologne? Rapy. Rapy. wouldn't that be great if that had been his cologne rapey rapey um he uh so and then kandison was the first time i saw kandison i was like are we allowed to say this shit dude he kandison used to say some wild shit but he was but what i realized was you can say it as

long as there's a reason you're saying right exactly and that and that was his background his background was his family was traveling they were uh his father was a traveling preacher and so he was a lot of stuff he said about religion came from experience yeah so it was so cool to watch him do that and so for me you know i obviously wasn't doing that when i first started right i first started i didn't come out the gate swinging no and my and my fucking the the show with kinnison okay i to say i bombed isn't doesn't even it's not even the right word right i don't know so what was your first show like the first five minutes they heckled. And then they got so bored, they just started talking to each other. No. So they weren't even heckling me.

Oh, no. They were just talking amongst themselves. I think that's worse. Way worse. I'm not even interesting enough to heckle. Right, exactly. And then I just started talking to my girlfriend who was in the audience. I was like, what should I do?

And she was like, just stay up there. And then so what would happen is is new people would walk in and i only had five minutes right but i had a lot more time to fill so i just repeated this only five minutes i had i was like hey you guys didn't hear my jokes yeah let me tell them again and people like don't tell those shitty jokes again fuck that is hilarious but it was like just dropped into fire and i thought well there's no way it can get worse than that there's no way it can get worse and it's only up from here and you know what my girlfriend at the time we were driving home i remember this so she said uh well at least you got that out of your system right not meaning the bomb meaning comedy right she was like you can quit now you you open

for candace in but you know way to way to say you don't believe in me bitch yeah i just told her i go hey i i don't know if this is going to be my career but i'm not going out like that yeah you got the bug yeah and plus i think every comic it's a tough crowd yeah what you guys do is a special talent to be able to engage and entertain people and make them laugh like that's hard you know what's funny is that i hear in every other side of the business people are like yeah but what you guys do but what you guys do and i'm like we're just spilling we're just talking right you know what we're just spilling, we're just talking. You know what I mean? We're just talking. But to make somebody genuinely belly laugh and to like actually leave somewhere thinking like, God dang, he is fucking funny. You know, like that's a lot to engage.

That's a lot of energy to pull and to put out, you know? So to be able to do that for an hour, hour and a half or however long you guys go up there for your fucking things, that's a lot. I have to tell you, I've been doing it a long time and i still love it like it's a passion oh i love it like but i love doing all sorts of silly things man i love it when when jelly would come down i like other people on stage i like improv and i like it to feel like a family kind of you're watching like a family revival almost no i love it i think uh i saw a little gleam in your eye whenever you get to write songs too i love no it's awesome i thought that

was really cool that you have that little um thing that you have in your uh show where you guys ad lib songs and stuff that shit is fucking hilarious i so i have loved when when they invited me to come here and write that song with schultz and jelly love andrew sweetheart it was so fucking cool to sit there i almost said the name of the dude we can't say who was here also but there was another songwriter here who's legendary yeah and i was just like this is how this happens. And I, one of the reasons I love moving here is that this town's packed full of creative people. Oh, yeah. Totally.

I mean, Nashville is like a southern LA, kind of. It's just everybody here is trying to do something, either they're a musician or they're, you know, like somebody's trying, everybody's trying to do something every day. But I love that i love the energy yeah no it's awesome i love the energy and it's i mean beth and i have really you know we're actually going to vegas for three months oh are you when february march april what are you

guys doing out there we might have to come out there and meet you guys i think you should you know we're always out there doing podcasts we're empty nesters right so i was like you know what we should do three months out every year is just live somewhere else I I'm the same way with Jay I've been trying to get Jay to get a fucking vacation home in Vegas for fucking two years We're gonna well, we're gonna live we're gonna try Vegas this year and then we're gonna live somewhere else next year I don't know. Yeah, what the fuck why not? Yeah, that's a really good idea And I will you know, I'm a little bit, not lit.

Beth doesn't smoke or take me, so I get to, you know, be fucking. Lit all around. Fear and loathing in Las Vegas, walking around. She's like, over here, dummy. I'm like, got it. Hey, I'll drive, honey. I'll be the DD the whole three months that we're here, honey. It's fucking awesome.

But I'm psyched to go to Vegas. Have you got to spend time out there? Just doing gigs. Yeah. It's not the same Vegas that it used to be. It's real commercial now. But I mean, there's always fun stuff to do out there. You know what I want to do out there?

You know, I do that high live show where I smoke weed and take mushrooms. Yeah. I don't know how you do that, by the way. It's so much fun. I'm the baby with the mushrooms so tell me what happened tell me tell me well okay so i you know i battle anxiety and depression i've been on the spiritual journey for about two years i've never had depression in my life the day i hit 40 fucking literally a day after i got hit with the worst depression i've ever had in my life and it came out of nowhere

and i believe it was from touching a dead body, but that's a whole nother fucking subject. What? One of Jay's best friends passed away. Rest in peace, chisel. We love you so much. And at the funeral,

I was rubbing his chest in the casket. And literally the next day I have been battling this depression for the past two years, which has sent me on this spiritual journey. So I'm completely sober. I've been sober for about six years. I don't do, I used to do, you know, Lord Dervs or my thing, good old Lord Tab, Xanax. And I used to fucking drink like a fish, you know, and I, for six years I've been sober. Um, so I've done everything natural, like vitamins and just, I'm on a great vitamin regimen,

stuff like that, foods, all that holistically. And I still get, you know, like little bouts of depression. My anxiety is under control now, but now I have this fucking depression. So I started researching fucking psilocybin and all the benefits of it, microdosing and stuff like that. And it's taken me about two years to finally be okay with it. She started at first because she battles with depression and stuff like that i she took some can i am allowed to say took some ssris right and they did not work for her and i won't go that route because i'm just already a fucking weirdo and i don't need a pill to make me even weirder yeah so i've been scared and she her and i just

started discussing fucking uh doing the the shrooms and so she started discussing fucking doing the shrooms. And so she started last week and she started feeling better just in a week. So yesterday, I fucking took the tiniest amount because my body is so sensitive, you know. But I also accidentally took too much fucking vitamin D. So I fucking am puking my brains out yesterday and i'm like this is it i can't do shrooms and i also fucking freaked myself out so fucking all day long i'm in bed watching cartoons and fucking just sitting in bed drinking bottles of water because i felt sick from the vitamin d it wasn't the microdose i woke up today i felt a little low but i took my vitamins which is just

like they're all just made out of like food and stuff like that. It's this really cool line called standard process. That's what Beth uses. Oh, good. Yeah, yeah. I love standard process. And I felt better. So, you know, today's going to be day two when I get home.

They also made me really tired. Is that normal? Or was that the vitamin D overdose? Yeah, yeah. Somebody OD'd on vitamin D. By the way, that's when you know you're over 40. Yeah, no, for sure. What'd she die on? Vitamin D?

Fucking couldn't believe it. Vitamin D toxicity. And of course it had to be the D. It couldn't be A or B or C. Had to be the D. Had to die from the D. Yeah. Overdose of the D.

Yeah. I will tell you. So for me, also dealt with depression. Yeah. Overdose of the D. Yeah. I will tell you. So for me, also dealt with depression. Yeah. And the mushrooms help a lot. Yeah. But I want to introduce you to a woman here. She's a holistic healer, but she also deals a lot in like Reiki energy, but also in healing yourself through the mushrooms wow she's amazing beth uses her but i want to get you her number i would love that and she'll come out to your house and yay just reiki me the fuck up she'll reiki yes just stick some vitamin d right up your ass

i'm down i love a good vitamin d overdose the the mushrooms okay and one of the reasons that and so you are you do keep your body healthy oh yeah and so the mushrooms are natural yeah which is in same with weed but like i don't do weed right because of my anxiety probably a really good idea yeah but the micro dosing if you the first time you do it because your body is so sensitive, you'll feel happy. You'll never take enough to hallucinate or anything like that. Right. But I would say Monday, Wednesday, Friday, how often are you doing it?

Twice a week. Yeah. Twice or three, but I wouldn't go more than that. And just start with like a 0.3 pill. Are they pills? No, it's the actual shroom. So we have to find somebody for you, and I think I can,

who will grind them up and put them in pill capsule for you. Dope. And so that way you know, you don't have to taste them because they taste terrible. I fucking messaged her yesterday. I go, do I chew it?

God, I chewed it. It tastes terrible. And I think it freaked me go do i chew it god i chewed it it tastes terrible and i think it freaked me out yeah it tastes like a camel's ass yeah no it was bad and then my throat felt coated by it and i was just like oh god it's not good and it was the tiniest piece and that taste is bad so if people like drink the tea i'm like no yeah no thank you but we'll get you a capsule and they can come i I would start with like a 0.3. Yeah. And see what happens. Yeah. But I really do like, you know what else it does?

Oddly. How long have you been doing shrooms? Do you microdose or do you just fucking eat them like candy? It really depends. It's like whatever I'm in the mood for. If I take them in the morning, I microdose. But if I take him at night, I'm like, what's the point of microdosing? Let's see what's out there. Right.

You know? I want to get to that point, too. Like, I want to be able to have, like, a good trip once a month, you know? Even if you get to, like, a 1.5 grams, which is not trip. But for somebody like you, you're the, I don't know how else to put it. Things will have texture. Right. Well, I told Jay yesterday I shut my eyes and the back of my eyelids look like thumbprints.

And he's like, you didn't take enough to feel it. And I was like, babe, trust me. My body is so sensitive. I'm so in tune with my body. I was like, I can definitely feel that little tiny bit that I took. So you and Beth are a lot alike I think the the purer that you've kept your body the more in tune you get with it and so she'll say the same thing she's like the littlest little little I know you think I'm crazy yeah but I can

feel almost everything oh yeah me too yeah it's No, it sucks. A needle going in my vein, I can feel. Like, it's insane. I can, it's just my, the guy who does our IVs all the time, he's just like a fucking weirdo. It's crazy, because sometimes I'm like, did I take that? Yeah. Maybe I should eat more. Have I taken that yet?

This morning we did, I had never had a Delta 8 edible. I don't know what that is. God, that sounds fucking brutal. So someone gave me a couple of them this morning. Nice. And they were like, have you ever had? never had a delta eight edible i don't know what that is god that sounds fucking brutal so someone gave me a couple of them this morning and they were like have you ever had what is the delta eight brownie um a delta eight so delta nine is the thc right okay well the extract is the delta eight which is more of a illegal version because they only make delta nine illegal oh shit eight is a barrier they're not yeah they're not as strong as

the ones that i get to normally take right but it has a different high to it but i'm on board for like i was in portland this weekend right and some it was late at a late show and some dude was like hey in the middle of show i go yes and he goes you want this edible and i was like sure no so you're brave i get scared i'm like oh god i go it's gonna be in a wrapper and he goes you want this edible and i was like sure so you're brave i get scared i'm like oh god i go it's gonna be in a wrapper and he was like yeah it's sealed i go okay and so but like i i love shit like that yeah i love that tightrope i i don't know why have you always been like that been able to do hallucinogenics i've been so scared of them my whole life and i don't know why i tripped i did

lsd when i was younger and i saw satan and my ex who is now deceased i saw the devil so i stopped doing fucking lsd i didn't smoked a sherm stick one time a what a sherm stick what the fuck is a sherm stick you know like i don't even know what sherm is but it's it's hood shit but it's like a blunt dipped in like bombing and fluid oh my fucking god you guys have never smoked a sherm stick are we the weird ones maybe that's why i'm so fucked up you guys have never smoked formaldehyde before what the fuck's wrong with you squares fucking squares come on no yeah well that laid me out like a fucking elephant tranquilizer i couldn't even fucking move it's what you keep dead people in yeah dude that is then i did shrooms one time and fucking i thought i was little john and michael jackson and i had a blast yeah is that on camera that probably no i wish it

was though but i had a blast so i've never had a problem with shrooms i just you know my anxiety just doesn't allow me to be like oh yeah i want to fucking trip balls you know but you need to baby step it on your oh yeah for sure you need to baby step it but i would definitely try the the capsule and that way you don't have to taste it you don't have to do any of that stuff and take it in the morning and i'm telling you has it helped you you know what it did for me it also sometimes now when i feel myself sinking in i had a realization once where i was like wait a second wait a second wait a second i was sad i took this pill i'm not sad anymore same brain. And it was like that realization was like,

same brain, same fucking brain. Yeah. So why not just not choose that? Right. Like I really started to try to get my brain to go, no, no, no, no, no. Make a different choice. Do you feel like the shrooms helped you get there?

Yeah. With being able to dissect that? Yeah, the shrooms helped me realize, oh, it really, I'm the same fucking guy. Right. Same fucking brain. This pill. Right.

So I have to be able to figure it out. I have to, like, when I started doing it, I really was like, okay, so much about how I feel or how I'm feeling, when I thought about it was, just think about something else. Just make a different choice. Do you know, I'm going to tell you something,

and I was a little high, but I want to tell you something profound happened to me this weekend. Oh, I want to hear. I love that. I love high epiphanies. I have been in a little bit of a spiritual search myself and about changing my attention and choosing happiness over. Isn't it crazy when you get to that point in your life?

Oh my God. It's like the shadow work alone is exhausting, but so rewarding. Why do most of us spend our day thinking about what we can't do and what we don't have instead of what we can do and what we do have? Amen. Do you know what I mean? Oh, 100%. But for whatever reason, our brains are wired.

Like when you have a conversation in your car, it's never a good one. You're never talking to somebody about, hey, thanks for those shoes. I love them. It was like, hey, motherfucker. Like all the stories you tell yourself make yourself mad. Right. Or it's I have to do the next thing. Yeah. It's never live in the moment. It's, okay, what do i have to do the next thing yeah it's always it's

never live in the moment it's okay what do i have to do in the future yeah the minute you open your eyes we're programmed to okay i gotta check my phone check my emails i have to you know do this work uh how's the kids doing like the minute you open your eyes you're we're hardwired to have anxiety pretty much of getting through the day and what we have to get done but life is so cool yeah do you know what i mean life is so fucking cool and a lot of times look we all life has ups and downs and it doesn't by the way i know people who don't have money and i've had not had money for a big portion of my life yeah look at people who don't have money like they don't have problems right no that's not true that's not the truth at all and in doug stanhope was if an amazing comic but he does a

whole bit about you can't compare sucks and you can't because what sucks in your life sucks with the same extreme as what sucks in your life right you you're a different live in different houses different socio it doesn't matter right the suck in your life adds the same stress as the suck in your life right i was talking i was in a cab with this dude uh an uber and he pulls over and it was he the uber car was different than the license plate was different but he knew my name and i go um i go hey man he goes hey hey my name's hussein and he goes he was telling me i got this rental car and the uber hasn't done it and he had all the paperwork out me I got this rental car and Uber hasn't done it. And he had all the paperwork out. And we get in the car and I go, cool. I go, how hard is that?

He goes, for a guy named Hussein? That's what I laughed when you said his name. Because I was like, oh. He goes, for a guy named Hussein, it's impossible. It's impossible. And he goes, and people say some really mean things. And I go, oh, I say people say mean things? I said, about what?

And he said, you know what? And I said, what do you say? say mean things. I said, about what? And he said, you know what? And I said, what do you say? And he said, I just say no English. No. And I said, why? And he said, because you know what? When they used to get me angry, then they get out of the car. They don't remember me.

But I'm stuck with that anger for the rest of the night. Oh. They gave me that energy. I don't want that energy. Yeah. And you know what he said? He said, I decided from here on out, I don't want anger. No more anger for me that energy. I don't want that energy. And you know what he said? He said, I decided from here on out, I don't want anger.

No more anger from me. And I was just like. Blown away. Yeah. And he goes, so I just don't accept it. And if I feel myself getting mad, I think about why I'm mad. And what's better,

because when you're mad, you're never in, you can't solve why you're mad. It impossible to solve anger is not productive and so that's that's what he was just like i would rather solve that problem that's making me angry yeah than to stay angry and i was just like this fucking hussein like fucking mind-blowing dude fucking hussein but the very next day look man the people in the restaurant business right now are in the shit nobody can get enough people you know what i mean and everybody's out of the house at once and they have no staff so i understand it and i'm travel a bunch so i get it we were at this place in portland i won't say where it was but not only did the was the food wrong twice but

there was hair in it oh shit the i asked i was like hey when i ordered the coffee i was like can you get it with steamed milk and she goes nah the bar is too busy he won't steam it for you and i was like okay so all this stuff right and um i had just said something to the owner about, I was like, look, I don't need any money back, but there was a hair in the food. It's just weird that, and I've worked in food and beverage my whole, it's weird that nobody came out and apologized. Yeah, that is strange.

Or said, hey, you don't have to pay for the one with the hair in it. Right. And she went off. Or here's a free donut. Yeah, she went off. Wow. And my son was with me and my daughter

and i was looking at her and i heard hussein like oh because you know what he's a little angel she probably she she was like we're understaffed she started reading out her real problems but had nothing to do with the hair and my fucking food right but this is like and i was like yeah man whatever yeah you know have a great day just have a great because if i'd gotten into it with her that shit would have stuck with me and you would have been pissed all day all day yeah and just fucking yeah no i get it do you know what i mean like and i really have implemented it the last since that and i'm just like this fucking hussein yeah might have changed my life crazy just by fucking that one car ride that one car ride with that dude just i don't want to be

angry i'm like me neither it's just like mind blown right like totally mind blown i love lessons like that and like epiphanies like that because those are the ones that will stick with you for the rest of your life like you're you're never gonna forget hussein no you know no that's just awesome because i think that is going to that that is almost like i was telling beth i've been working with this sentence in my brain of these things how i've been fixing my not fixing but evolving and that car ride was like the period to the sentence yeah i really told her i'm like it really felt like that one thing that i was like what am i missing right oh yeah that that that part that's still in my life i don't i don't want that part anymore yeah isn't it crazy how the

universe will serve you what you need on a dish just like right in front of you like here you go if you eat it or don't eat it yeah. If you're willing to like look at it. I'm telling you. I've been listening to this dude's podcast. You can say his name. His name is Jim Fortin. And so much of what he says is real common sense for me. But there were some parts that he was talking about.

Like that thing I was telling you about when you talk to yourself in your car. The stories you tell yourself. And I was always a real negative talker to myself call myself a piece of shit do you know what i mean like whatever you're fucking this is why this is what my husband does this is why this happens to you because you're a fucking piece of shit you don't it doesn't happen because you don't deserve it to happen and that's the track that played in my head no matter what was on the outside and this dude was like listen you can say what you want on the outside and you can keep trying to do different things but it's not gonna change who you

are who you're you are right if you keep telling yourself you're a piece of shit that's or you don't deserve that stuff guess what you're never gonna get right that stuff right and he said even speaking it in the air he said even if you get it you're gonna lose it because inside that's who you think you are so you're gonna figure out a way to not have it and he even one thing he was like look at these lottery winners or even mike tyson who had all this money they get that money but inside they're poor yeah so they're gonna do what they you wonder why lottery winners get lose all their money yeah because or croak yeah yeah exactly but it's fucking crazy no it's crazy what you speak into the air always comes back to you we have a thing in our whole in our friendships and relationships where i always say put it in the air because what you man you can you manifest with words like your life started

really believing that no it's real it is so my life is a manifestation i have always envisioned being a musician's wife my dad was a musician you know so like always being a musician's wife down to the car that i drive down to you know having my own you know podcast that's doing great like literally i always said 50 to 70 000 downloads a month whenever we first started just to get a guest on here i would fake it till we make it yeah i would be like i get 50 to 70,000 downloads a month whenever we first started just to get a guest on here. I would fake it till we make it. I would be like, I get 50 to 70,000 downloads a month. We get 50 to 70,000 downloads a month now.

That's fucking awesome. It's fucking crazy when you just really speak something in your life and you just believe it. You're just like, and then it happens. That's the craziest shit. All right, let me ask you something.

Because I really am starting to believe this. No, it's real. Because, look, we're all 70 water right energy affects water so your energy your water is going to affect somebody else's water right the energy you're putting out like that makes sense to me now i didn't always believe in energy. And then I remember a buddy of mine was like, listen, dude, walk into a concert, a sporting event where the home team's winning. Can you feel it? And you're like, yeah.

And you're like, he's like, what is that? Absolutely. It's just you can't deny that. You can't deny that sometimes somebody walks into a room and everyone's like oh that just feels terrible nicole arbor right but you know but you're like if that feels like it doesn't feel nice yeah no for sure and so like jay's concerts if you go to jay's concerts you can feel the pain in his crowd yo that rhyming electric right that rhyming? Mm-hmm. Electric, right? That rhyming. You know, Beth and I, I go, let's go out there.

Let's get in it. So it's a combination of pain. And by the way, I must have missed the Nicole Arbour thing. Oh, yeah. I'll have to fill you in later. She's only worth that two seconds. Okay. So, but you can feel the positivity yeah and you can you know what it's

like it's the closest thing for church that those people are gonna get it's an emotional and spiritual experience do you know do you know every so when i what strikes me the most about his shows is and i told him this just when we were at zany's i was like the connection your fans feel with you is not a normal artist to fan connection and there was every walk of life in the crowd every shape and size and what's amazing is that every different shape size walk of life sees themselves in him oh yeah the most unlikely person you look at they see themselves in him and it is such an endearing um you know when he i don't know how long ago he asked me he was like will you open yeah and i remember i put it in my calendar

and then he called me like the day before he was like i forgot to call you and i was like it's in my calendar yeah do you know what i mean like because that's the dude that's the type of dude and i'm sure it's that's the type of loyalty he gets from people oh yeah no they're because that's you know you want to be on that team yeah now jay is he's the he's the king underdog you know and he he goes he's for the sad souls the broken he's for the people who the voice of the voiceless pretty much, you know, people don't, and I don't mean this in a mean way, but a lot of jelly roll fans have a really hard life. People don't give them a chance.

He gives them a chance. He also, when you look at him and you hear a story, he gives hope. Hope. Yeah. He gives hope. He's like a pastor i can be in the jail cell and that's what i can end up doing if i just decide to take another path totally that it's very powerful just his whole who am i yeah now i'm daddy i've wanted to take mushrooms with him too oh he's hilarious

i feel so bad the last trip that he had i was fucking so anxietied out it was tripping me out so him and his brother got so fucked up in gulf shores that they went crabbing all night on shrooms yeah no you gotta you listen one time though on fucking tour i i'm so glad i wasn't there he did acid and shrooms together oh no he fucking literally what are those things called that you're jet ski no the what are the things that you ride around town in that everybody the birds oh the bird scooter yeah the bird scooter he rode around on one of those for nine hours screaming through the streets just yahoo he would facetime me and i call him the human pineapple because his hair would be standing up like this his eyes oh my god josh through the fucking facetime we're just

he was he looked like fucking spongebob with a pineapple top like it was crazy dude i couldn't believe it he's a nut when he and then like if i can 4 o'clock in the morning, he's like, I don't want to do this anymore. He's at Denny's trying to sober up in Utah. Just fucked up. And I'm like, babe, go to bed. He's like, I can't. Acid and mushrooms. I just heard last week some people drop the liquid acid in their eyeballs. How? To have those balls. Like, who couldn't do that?

How high do you need to be? Are you trying to meet God? Because that's what's happening. Under the tongue wasn't fast enough? Directly into your fucking skull? No. That's like I had a buddy of mine who used to put vodka-soaked tampons in his asshole. At work. so nobody would i can't even talk shit because i used to put cocaine up my ass no yeah does that get you higher

it's so good does it really does it get you higher so you get like a little baby syringe things and of course you don't have the needle but you put the line that you want to do in there and you put it with water and you just squash squash right up the old hooter and fucking you don't get the drain yeah but does it drip out of your asshole no i mean mine's tight so so and cocaine's expensive so i'm clenching anyway i'm getting every last drop of that shit so listen yeah but no you get high as hell without the fucking aftershock this was years ago okay when i used to party but tampon soaked okay how did he figure out well because i think he wanted to drink at work and

not get caught what a fucking savage yeah yeah he was in it i have to tell you i guess i'm just a regular old mouth mouth ingester of drugs i mean i don't need it in my eyeball i don't need it in my asshole i just just the mouth you know what i mean is that am i crazy no no no i mean am i old time i'm an old timer no no just a mouth listen when you do drugs like hardcore drugs you get weird you know shit gets weird when you become an addict shit gets weird and i was addicted to cocaine very you know i was a fucking just i heard your hooker story in fucking vegas and i couldn't relate more i used to be one of those girls who knocked on the door oh let me tell you that worked for a service can you tell the hooker story i really want to get back to you and say you know like i've i know

we're gonna get there but the hooker story i didn't i saved the end so that i didn't hear the end i only got to where she had the people covered yeah and so do you remember those the pamphlet yeah they would slap oh absolutely they they and it's it's a service that you're calling yes so you're calling a service there There's a phone. Hi, baby. Yeah. You know, like, yeah, they got to make sure you got the 250, you know, or the $99, depending on what flyer you got. Yeah.

We, I think we got the cheaper flyer. Yeah. Okay. Oh, it might've been 49.99. But it was, it was, wow. It was, so we call this woman yeah because my my brother i had never had a hooker right and uh my brother i love that the brother was in on it too he was like he's like i'll go to sleep yeah yeah which we never we know is never right he was like you you you should you

should just try and if you don't like you don't again. But like, let's give it a run. Right. And I was like, yeah, all right. You know. I mean, everybody needs a hooker one time in their life.

I mean, let's. I've ordered them. Yeah, let's do it, right? So we got up and I called

and there was only a couple of women left in the service and they offered me a petite Asian or a giant Puerto Rican. And I had had sex with petite Asians before. Right.

I had never even seen a giant Puerto Rican. And I like things a little, like, you know what I mean? Yeah, thickums. We love a thickum. I like them thick. And I like also, like, why am I going after something that I. Already had. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, you're in Vegas. Went in Rome, baby. And I like also like, why am I going after something that I already had?

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, Vegas went in Rome, Red Rover, Red Rover, send the Puerto Rican on over. Right. You know? And so we sit there and we're, um, we both kind of nod off and go to sleep and. Yeah. They take forever. Those.

Yeah. They take forever. I was always on time. They was about my money, but but that's i think they have to know that most people are gonna be asleep i think well these girls just they're not about their business so normally she was but she probably was at home sleeping and had to get ready so they're knocking the door and um my brother was sleeping and we were both sleeping, and I was like, dad, dad.

And he didn't wake up. I was like, you know what? Fuck it. Let's just go back to sleeping. Oh, they don't go away? No, they're like Jehovah's Witness. They stay there until you answer the door. And so I started to creep over

because I really did want to see what a giant Puerto Rican because I really did want to see what a giant Puerto Rican looked like. I want to see what a giant Puerto Rican looked like. And so. Think of like A-Rod. That. And also, I wasn't sure. Are we talking about heavy giant?

Right. Tall giant? Right. Muscular giant? Right. Which type of giant? Yeah. So I kind of creep over the door and I think I'm being quiet.

And I slide my head up and I go to look at the people and she's got her thumb over the people. And she must have heard. No, they look in the people and they can see your shadow when it's coming. So she goes, you got to open the door to see the goods. That's a good bitch. Yeah, dude. And I was like, this sounds like someone who's

been rejected through a peephole before somebody's looked at that peephole and been like yo no thank you i'm not opening up that door oh my god now when she there were a couple things that were different about her so when i opened the door, giant Puerto Rican. Probably. This is the part I don't know. She was way taller than me. Wow. Was she thickums or just tall?

Tall, was a little wiry with the vascular. So I was just like, first thing I just took a quick. Gander. The old Adam's apple gander. Just to make sure. You never know in Vegas. Right?

Right. And so I was like, you know what, we're good. You know, come on in. No Adam's apple, I'm plowing. I actually did. I asked her, I took a look at the Adam's apple and I was like, hey,

this is gonna sound weird. I go, can I see your kn I took a look at the Adam's apple, and I was like, hey. I go, this is going to sound weird. I go, can I see your knuckles? Oh, no. Did she know what you were talking about? Yeah, she was like this. And I go, yeah, come on. You can tell if a girl is a girl by her knuckles? Man hands.

I got man hands. No, you do not. They're little fat, chunky sausage links. Yeah, but you look at the way you take care of them, first of all. Right. So you can tell if it's a dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, gotcha.

Okay. Because I got some little sausage links over here. the way you take care of them first of all right so you can tell okay gotcha okay because i got some little sausage links over here yeah but they're they're like the knuckles and the beat up part of it it's just different it's just different she walked here i'm gonna be looking at everybody's hands now oh yeah you definitely can tell i'm doing it um the uh the one thing that threw me with her is that she was carrying a bigger purse than I was used to seeing. Oh, yeah. Do you know what I mean? She's got all her hose supplies.

Yo, so she walks in. The first thing she did was she saw my brother. She goes, no. Well, yeah, because there's two guys in a room. Yeah, she goes, nobody says two. I go, no, no, he's asleep. She's passed out. She was like, you don't think I've heard that before?

Right. And I was like, probably. That's probably right. You probably have heard that. And I go, he's really, I promise you he's asleep. She's passed out. And she was like, you don't think I've heard that before? Right. And I was like, probably, that's probably right. You probably have heard that. And I go, he's really, I promise you he's asleep. And I picked up his arm and he was just, he's not a pill guy

and he had taken his anti and he's out. I go, he's out. And she goes, okay. And she put down the bag and the bag sounded heavy. So as a joke, I go, what's in the bag?

And she goes, maybe you'll find out later what's in the bag and i was like well now i kind of want to see yeah like now let's take a look what's in the bag yeah and she goes i got a couple rules and i said okay well they got a bunch of rules yeah she goes rule number one don't ask me my real name and i was like you think we're gonna be facebook friends like i'm totally cool yeah with me not knowing your real name she was no sex from behind and i said why and she goes i can choke you well but she was also she's like i don't want you taking off your condom and i was like taking off my condom oh god i have one on my asshole right now i have one on each foot i'm coming out like the boy in the plastic bubble i laminated the tip of my dick

i'm pretty good with i go do you have problems with that she goes yeah oh because guys say it doesn't feel good i'm like no who's what the fuck yeah that's a hard but that was right when i was like guys are fucking gross oh yeah who's raw dog and a lot thoughts that's what we call it who's raw oh they do all it's called okay so i don't know if you know this i've been in the adult industry for the past 20 years i still am but more like only fans online stuff and um they have what's called gfe which is girlfriend experience yeah and those girls will suck your dick without condoms and they will fuck you without condoms it just and they do about five or six of those in a day no yeah yeah and i'm not knocking it you know some of my girlfriends they're in the industry and that's

what they do and they make a shit ton of money. But do they get, like how often do you got to get tested? A lot of the girls back in the day whenever I was working didn't get tested. They didn't know what was going on unless something presented itself for them to get tested. Nowadays, I'm sure people are a lot more safe. They must be. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because when she was like, and this was a little bit ago.

It was pre-Beth. Yeah. When she was like, yeah, you know what? I want you to take it off the condom. I'm like, yeah, not a problem. Yeah, we're pretty good on the no condom thing. And then, so this is the weirdest, okay? So she was bigger than me. And she was like, you got an hour and you're on the clock.

That's crazy that she even gave you the full hour. But she like you got an hour and you're on the clock that's crazy that she even gave you the full hour but she said you got an hour right which probably doesn't mean and i probably i basically was like hey just you know we could watch an entire episode of friends call it a night have sex we still have time left in the hour so that's we're gonna be she was like so she took here's what was crazy. She took off her shirt. She gave me a little, she gave me a little tap to the chest to sit me on the, on the bed, but she was so much stronger.

She knocked me, she knocked me over on the bed and I made this noise because i wasn't expecting to get knocked out you know she was just and then i was right away like a boner killer yes because i right away i was like this could go bad real fast my brother's on a xanax bar yeah and what she got in the bottom of that purse like what's about to happen yeah and so here's when it got really weird ready for the weirdest of the world i can't wait because this was not we i believe we were because i was not rolling in any sort of dough i believe we were on the 49.99 special the blue light special i believe we were on that pamphlet right so she takes off her shirt and boobs look good but again you know she looks jacked yeah you know what i mean she's got like shoulder you know what i mean yeah look shoulders and wiry and and uh

she takes off her bra this was the so she had one real titty one fake one oh so we got one of these like oh no her left titty looked like it had a stroke oh no and her right titty was looking at me oh no her left titty looked like stallone's lip like hey no and her right and i was and it didn't have an implant in it? No. The right titty. She got a one for two. A Groupon? You can't get a Groupon. In Mexico. Yeah, yeah. Puerto Rico.

I asked her about it. And she goes, yeah, I couldn't afford to get them done at the same time. But the doctor said he'd do one and do another one. And I was like, hey, you should have saved up and just get them both done at the same time. Because this is fucking really weird. And she was like, most guys don't care. I'm yeah well i'm gonna call this a night like before we go any further you can already beat the shit out of me oh my god i was like let me and she got insulted she was mad she when i told her this is it for me i'm not gonna yeah she was like give me the money

right i was like totally right She was mad at me. She was like, are you insulting me? Are you saying that you can't? Oh, my gosh. She was like legitimately angry. And she wanted an extra $100, which I did not have. And she made a threat about making a phone call and having somebody come get the $100. Yeah, because of the services.

Yeah. Right? Well, she'll get in trouble with the service is why she was tripping so bad. So she was like, I'm going to need $100. She was like, don't make that person come to the door right and i was because by the way i was assuming that since i thought she could probably kick my ass yeah that whoever was coming to the door could definitely do you know what i mean like right if she can kick my ass right and then i just heard my brother go i got a hundred dollars in my pocket oh shit your brother was listening the whole time.

You're like, I'm in this fucking situation because of you, Dan. Yeah. I had to give her $200. And we got her out. And Dan was like, I go, Dan, what's the deal, dude? I go, what's getting uncomfortable? He goes, yeah, I just really wanted to see if she was going to pull a dildo out of that purse. And I go, that's what you were waiting on?

He was like, yeah. I go go were you gonna let something happen he goes nah but i would have let it get real uncomfortable that's a brother that is such a brother yeah he was like i was gonna go there let it get real uncomfortable so you've never ordered a hooker since then no you know what i met beth soon after that you didn't need hookers anymore she's pretty great man yeah she's hot too she's hot you know she and and she wouldn't want me to tell you how old she is but she's like she's so like i don't even know how it still happens oh you love yeah it's good

you know part of that has helped our relationship is how much i travel yeah oh same with jay and i we always have our separate time i need it it's very important when you're married and you're in a relationship to not beat up each other's asses literally jay left for what two days last week and we missed each other so much just being away from each other in those two days we go two weeks sometimes without seeing each other and it's healthy isn't it fun to miss somebody oh it's so fun i love that just the reconnection and just like being giddy and like you know just being so happy to be around them because you it lets you when you're away from somebody you think about

the good stuff yeah and so you romanticize them over and over again in your head so it's not like the same not that you wake up and you're like this bitch yeah you know like god i gotta do this again oh my god but you you get to re-fall in love because you're romanticizing oh i can't wait or you think about the good times so i agree with you man i think it's like for us it's been I mean, geez, that's not, that's nothing to scoff at. 20 years nowadays, especially in the fucking, you know, business that you're in. And she's actually. Writer, director.

Yeah. So, I mean, you guys have seen marriages fucking fall apart quickly, I'm sure. Yeah. In the industry that you guys both work in. So. But I think it's for, for everybody. You know, I think something, something the biggest the biggest thing that we didn't do to each other that i think some people do when they get married is hey i married

you great hey now there's a couple things i'd like you to change and you're like no bet you wait we got we got married yeah so you were all in already right but i always think it's unfair for you to people get married and be like cool but now you need to change this part yeah i've never understood that women do that a lot to their men and i'm just like i i love jay the way he is right if he was any different i wouldn't want him like that's weird to me and i don't get off on trying to control somebody like that you know so i think letting your significant other just be is the best advice that you could give anybody. Yeah, man. And, and have enough confidence to know that that's okay. Right.

That you don't have to be there and see everything and know every person they talk to. Jay and I have an open relationship. So even when he's on tour, if he finds, if there's a bitch, he wants to suck them off. If I can go ahead as long as I know about it.

So I don't have some bitch in my DM fucking like, I sucked your man off last night. You know, I could be like, oh, yeah, I know. He told me, you know, like, as long as I know beforehand, completely fine. You know, but that is such a it's funny, right? Some people would put that in one category. I think that's so evolved. It's crazy. Yeah.

Like the because you're putting your love for each other above everything else. Yeah. Above of making that truly is the most important thing. I love you. You love me. This is how you treat me. This is how I treat you. And this is how we like to live our life.

Yeah. And everything else for that. Yeah, totally. I mean, I just, I love bitches though. i like to watch jay get sucked off too so we have threesomes on the road and stuff like that too but i also my dad

was a musician and i've seen my dad my dad is fucking 70 something years old shout out bill love you um fucking and he does not have a normal relationship to this day because women don't accept him for who he is you know yeah jay and i run wild together you know and that's one of our things that we pride ourselves on we at home it's very like you you wouldn't even know we're like super square at home but then on the road we have this other life where it's like we have fun and we do everything outside of the house so that when we come home we can have you know kind of a normal house for bailey live in. Do you find that people are, when they meet you,

are a little surprised about, or think you're going to be different than you are as far as wild and crazy? Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah, no, for sure. It's the element of surprise I live for. I think it's awesome

because most people would look at me and they would be like, Oh God, she's fucking naked on the internet. She's fucking shows her butthole on only fans. Fucking, you know, like,

and where else are you going to show it? Right. I mean, I'd be reckless to do it on Twitter. I mean, I mean for free, come on. Um,

fucking, uh, you know, and I just love surprising people. That's actually why I named my podcast dumb blonde because people look at me and at me and they're like, oh, God, another fucking stupid blonde. And then I open my mouth and they're like, wait a second. She's got substance, you know. And it was kind of like an homage to Dolly Parton, too, because she's the ultimate dumb blonde.

Yeah, but that, she is. Yeah. I mean, I love listening. And she's not dumb. No. I love listening to interviews with her. Yeah. But that's what struck me the most.

I listened to a couple of your podcasts, obviously. And I was like, oh, she's really smart. Aw, thank you. Yeah. I appreciate that. It makes sense. The two of you together, to me, makes total sense. And a reality show about you guys, which is an unconventional, but a very conventional family.

Because to me, what's conventional is that you guys love each other and that you have a family unit. That's, to me, what a conventional family is. Yeah. But how you love and all that other shit is up to your particular household. Yeah, totally. You know what I mean? Yeah.

I'm psyched to see how that turns out. Yeah, it's going to be fun. And Mimi is keeping me in the dark. I don't know if we've got picked up or what's happening, but they're already planning on shooting and stuff. I'm telling so much. I don't even know if I'm allowed to say all this, but they're already planning on shooting like next year and stuff.

If they're planning on shooting, then they're going to get picked up. Yeah, for sure. So let's get back to you real quick. Okay, after your significant or not, I don't even want you after your girlfriend, ex-girlfriend didn't believe in you. What happens then? Oh, well, that was because we kind of left it like a cliffhanger. I went to Seattle, started doing stand up up there.

I met a dude named Joey Diaz. Oh, OK. Yeah. Jay loves Joey. Yeah. That's my guy. Yeah. And Joey and I and a couple of the dudes.

Let me think if there's anybody else. A guy named Brody Stevens who passed away a couple of the dudes, let me think if there's anybody else, a guy named Brody Stevens who passed away a couple of years ago. We all started up there and I just caught the bug. Yeah. You were like, this is what I want to do with the rest of my life. I just got the bug. And then I met a girl who had two kids and then she got pregnant. And then we moved down to california together and just started

trying to do it man yeah um and did you know i guess i didn't know you think you're ready but then when you get down to los angeles and you see like professional professional crazy right yeah yeah it's got it got it, got it, got it. We watched that special on, I don't know if it's Netflix. Jay's obsessed with the comedy circuit. Like he loves, that's all he'll watch. Podcast and comedy. That's it.

He fucking doesn't want to hear rap music. Doesn't want nothing. Yeah. But we watched the thing about Pauly Shore's mom. Mitzi, yeah. Mitzi. That's her, actually. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I actually just talked to Pauly Shore the other day. Yeah. Crazy's her, actually. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I actually just talked to Pauly Shore the other day. Yeah. Crazy. He was here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He told me that. I met Pauly fucking probably fucking 20 years ago when I was stripping in Vegas. He used to hang out at Olympic Gardens all the time.

Sounds about right. He's a sweetheart. He's a real sweetheart. He's a good dude. Yeah, so we watched that. And just seeing how cutthroat the industry is but yet how much of a family you guys are is really cool well you know comics are a bunch of broken toys right and nobody gets on stage because they feel good about themselves right i mean that's not nobody's

that's a really good way to put it nobody's like i feel great about myself let me stand in front of a bunch of strangers and have them judge me for an hour you know and let me talk shit to him about them yeah i so i went down and honestly like i i wasn't going to be any good until that the relationship was just not good right gotcha it wasn't good and so we split up um i ended up keeping all three of the kids her two kids and my kid oh and that's fucking admirable most people wouldn't do that most men wouldn't do that no i think it's you know i was raised by a single dad so i think that's really cool yeah you get it so but you're they're your kids you know yeah and um and then what a weird thing happened so i couldn't afford therapy i I was making $1,000 a month.

We all lived in one room. And so the stage ended up starting to be the only place I could emote. And so I started to be able to tell the difference between telling the truth on stage and before that I had just been telling jokes. Right. And the difference in the reaction from the crowd because people were starting to connect with you well they they connect with honesty right so they're real right they connect and some of the jokes weren't as funny right right they weren't laughing as much because i hadn't figured it out yet but more people came up to me after the show and talk to me because they connected right right and that and and that is what we all want right and so that was such a good way in it for me to be like ah

and then i did a one person show that was part comedy and part um you know just stuff about raising the kids by myself and figuring out how to do it as a dad and all that shit and still trying to work my dream and all that shit right and i got a couple tv deals out of there and after that i just i i never now i took a long break from stand-up yeah because i was writing on tv shows i wrote on a show called yes dear i wrote on will smith's show i wrote a a show called Cuts. And then I did Last Comic Standing. And then I started to get back into stand-up a little bit,

and Chelsea called. She was like, hey. Were you guys friends or just knew each other from the circuit? Both. We had done some drugs and run around together a little bit. Every time she comes here, she heads fucking Jay up for shrooms. Yeah. We'd done some drugs and run around together.

We had gone to one party together where we were taking ecstasy. To see her on ecstasy would be fucking awesome. Yo, okay. Does she turn into like a complete sexy kitten? Okay, wait. I mean, because I know how I am on ecstasy and I just fucking love everybody first of all to me i okay again you have to like but when she goes she goes right and i like that

too like you know how many drugs i do however many you got right you know so the choice is more yeah so let's not what do you mean do i want to do more is there more yeah yeah so just not up the butt right i don't need to like just the mouth just a mouth drug drugs do you have i'll take a mouth i'll take a mouth mushroom a mouth edible i'll you know i don't need my alcohol in my asshole i'll take it in the mouth i mean that's just i know it's crazy right i know i'm gonna get a lot of comments after that this fucking asshole only takes his drugs in the mouth what kind of dick oh yeah fucking california guy all he does is drugs in the mouth huh fucking loser yeah no not at all i'm sure people are gonna be like okay bunny used to shove cocaine up her ass

noted another fucking weird thing she does No, not at all. I'm sure people are going to be like, okay, Bunny used to shove cocaine up her ass. Noted. Another fucking weird thing she does. Listen, I spelled, how you said that comedy is therapeutic for you on stage, my podcast has been nothing but therapy. That's amazing. I mean, everybody knows everything about me, so. That's amazing. No, it's how you got to be, though.

What was I talking about? You were talking about Chelsea doing ecstasy so we went out and um she she goes i told her we're going to this party and we're walking to this party right and she goes hey oh yeah she goes follow me it's gonna be fun and she starts to limp just a slight limp and there's a pool table. I was a friend of Mai's house. I'm with my brothers, cousins, friends. I know everybody here. Right. And she tells everybody she's got a wooden leg. Oh, what?

I'm like, now, here's the thing. Here's what I love about her. Let me tell you what I love about her, okay? Is that she, these little jokes, she does them all the time like she likes big jokes and the little ones right like it's just for fun it's just to keep things kind of fun right shock value too so and a couple times during the night like the limp changed i'm like you changed limp my bad but but but i loved doing all night playing pool pretending to limp with the leg and my brother was like oh my fucking god on ecstasy that's a talent

my brother was like where'd you find the fucking pirate dan yeah fucking dan but but uh i like dan i gotta meet dan we went back to my friend's house it was me her and my buddy and my buddy is not a big drug guy yeah and this story right here tells you why i love her yeah right and we're not that close anymore like life is what life is right right um life is life comes in seasons yeah man and i believe they're chapters of your book and sometimes people live in certain seasons yeah man and I believe there are chapters of your book and sometimes people live in certain chapters and there shouldn't be

any spilt milk over that sometimes you just drift apart and reconnect you guys will reconnect yeah I'm not yeah and so

but she my buddy's like you guys want to take some more ecstasy and she was like you want to take another one I can help take another one and my buddy this like, you guys want to take some more ecstasy? And she was like, you want to take another one? I go, yeah, I'll take another one.

And my buddy, this dude, Gavin, and he goes, all right. He goes, but you know I freak out if I take ecstasy by myself. So you promise me you guys will stick with me because it's 2 in the morning. Oh, fuck. You guys were fucking pulling a fucking all-nighter. And we go, yeah, okay, okay. He takes it. He swallows it. And Chelsea looks at me and goes, ready toer. And we go, yeah, okay, okay. He takes it, he swallows it,

and Chelsea looks at me and goes, ready to go? And I go, what? She was like, I'm not staying with this fucking guy. She goes, I just wanted to see him trip out. And he was like, what? No, you can't leave.

And she was like, oh, I'm not staying here. I'm not staying here with you. Are you kidding? Oh my God, that is so funny. So Gavin goes, you're not leaving me, are you? I'm like, yeah, it's actually pretty funny. My board board's gonna leave you. It's only one. This dude. This is so funny. So Gavin goes, you're not leaving me, are you? I'm like, yeah, it's actually pretty funny. My board board is going to leave you. It's like, what?

This dude. I still had a pager. This dude must have left a hundred messages. No. Oh, my God. Just tripping out on ecstasy all by himself. Yeah, he was like, is that you in the alley right now? Are you in the alley looking up at my window?

Oh, my. He was seeing shadow people that motherfucker was fucking tripping but she will if you leave her an opening oh yeah i don't know if she's still like this yeah we've all milled a little but if you like if you were at the office and left your computer unlocked she's going to send a terrible email to somebody. Oh, shit. From your account. Oh, no. Something fucking awful.

Oh, no. I think one person on our staff, I think, left it open. And I could be wrong, but I think she sent a terrible email to HR. Oh, no. But just like that's her. Right. It is what it is she's the boss she's the boss if she can do what she wants that's right so you have um uh an album coming out oh my god let's talk about it this is my favorite thing i've ever done what is it so since i've come here i've

really started jumping in the music yeah and so i could see your passion for it, like I said, whenever I was at the show. Fucking love it. And I really like to create all the time. And so when I first got here, the first thing I shot was I found my very first CD. And I was like, I'm going to rewrite every joke on the CD because I wonder if I'm a better writer now than I was then. Right. So I took it and I rewrote every joke. And I did it i wonder if i'm a better writer now than i was then right so i took it i rewrote every joke and i did it live one take streamed it and there were some jokes where i told the old joke first so you then you could see how we i rewrote it to the new joke

right so it was very experimental and it was a lot of talking straight to camera and i was like this is fun yeah let me try something something else i never done before i've never done like a music special so and i brought a bunch of people on stage you know i had i had chris kirkpatrick from instinct came up and did a song with me i think jay got to meet him he got to meet him um taylor lynn was loretta lynn's granddaughter came up and her voice is like ridiculous yeah but then i did a little stand-up up front i had some old dude sucked another dude's titty in the front row didn't even see that coming then that wasn't part of the show but we got it on camera holy shit that was in the first like seven minutes of the show i'm like it's gonna be a great night yeah no you know it's gonna be great now when titties are

getting sucked this was the most fun now i, I hate watching myself. Right. Fucking hate it. Yeah, I think everybody does. I have had to watch this to see what I want to get. Man, I watched it the first time I watched it through and I turned it off and Beth was like, I just want you to know I've seen you do that a million times. You smiled the whole way. And I was like, yeah, like that was so much fun to watch yeah i can't fucking believe it and so that's what this is look this is not a i'm not bill burr right i'm not i'm

not a dude who's out there in my comedy right now in the past i have but right now i'm not out there tackling social issues and shit like that you're enjoying your life because eating shrooms yeah i think people just need fun hey that's what i'm saying you know spiritual journey baby we just need some fun man yeah and so this is just an hour and 20 minutes of fun but here's what i would tell you man much like jelly like i decided a long time ago i'm not doing i'm not selling my stuff right i'm not selling it and so that youtube one that i put on that first special years ago i was like yeah i don't need those people i got more views on here so i i paid for it and produced this and doing all this myself and i don't know when this comes out um this will be out in probably

about two weeks two weeks all right so then it came out on the 19th right but but um this special like i do is music in a lane that nobody's doing right now right is it is it original songs or is it like parody some some original songs some parodies but it's also got 40 minutes of stand-up that's awesome so like nobody's ever really done that no and it's an hour and a half because i like a comedy special but like an album form it's yeah or like a what are they like a variety show yeah variety hour that's kind of and you saw the show yeah that's kind of how i like it my show is never the same i did five shows this weekend they're all different yeah and it's a living breathing thing yeah and so that's why i like that's how i like it to be a little loose a little crazy

but you kind of know what's gonna happen when you get there it's gonna be a good fucking time and so this was a it's the most thing thing i'm most proud of without a doubt what's the name of it here for the fun i love it yeah you can just see that in your place in life right now, that's really what you are all about. You want to laugh. You want to smile. You want to have fun. Yeah. And I think right now with the way the world is,

everybody needs that. Man, that's what this was supposed to. So when people come, by the way, it just nips out cold. That's the spirit in here. Yeah, but I think so, man. I think people need that right now they do everyone takes everything so seriously i'm so fucking tired of people online like you cannot fucking go a day without all the

negativity that breeds online when i did my microdose yesterday i didn't want to touch my phone no i did not want to be on my phone i had to force myself to post a picture do you know that since i've gotten here i walk my dog i don't i don't turn my phone on actually with the special i have in the last week or so but in general i don't turn off my phone on before noon well i probably need to start doing that i'm just like what the what's yeah what's really happening yeah what's real that Do I really? Do I give a shit? Yeah, do I really need to put that another fucking stupid picture?

Do you know what I mean? But, so, yeah, I mean, it's been amazing. And the shrimps have happened. I bet, I bet. So here for the fun drops on the 19th. By the time you guys see this, it will already be out. So where can people download it?

All on my YouTube channel. Everything is for free so just go check it out and then yeah man because for me the views turn into what i want them to turn into which is people who come to my shows you guys got to go watch here for the fun jay and i are definitely going to contribute to it too i appreciate it josh i it was been really fun talking to you man I fucking really appreciate having you here I can't wait to have you back

you gotta come back keep coming back and just be a regular on the show from now on I'm Randy let me know and maybe we'll

microdose and do one dude that would be awesome let me get let me get a little more far ahead in my journey cause all we need

is me seeing purple elephants tripping out having to go to the hospital oh great by the way good that's good content oh fuck that would actually be really good content you have a show tell people where they can see your show where you eat shrooms and fucking talk i do a show called the high live uh you can find that on all my socials um but also if you're here in nashville yeah on october 31st i'm doing

another one of my extra bonanza extravaganzas down at zany's but we're gonna it's good there's gonna be a costume contest there's gonna be a lot of weird shit happening that night oh it's gonna it'll be a fun it's gonna be it has to do with you it's gonna be a blast it's gonna be a good time tell people where they can find you on your socials at josh wolf comedy everywhere and on youtube is josh wolf comedy comedian josh wolf.com for tour dates and you know all that jazz yeah we're just gonna

keep having some fun yeah thank you so much for being here thank you for having me this dude coming out from the curtains is like my fucking

have you seen he's been poking his head out so it's looking like he's wearing a robe he looks like fucking Liberace so crazy with his gold chain

around his neck he poked his head out like yeah I love him his body is the best dude he's robust and he's got the biggest butthole ever does he?

oh it's like a fucking crater open butthole? look at it well he's sitting down he's got it robed up hold on yeah

call him be me call him Josh look at the butthole take a gander that hole wow is it always open like that when it puckers when he gets excited it protrudes looks like you know it looks like something you'd find in the ocean yeah but really dry thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of dumb blonde i will see you guys next week bye