Dumb Blonde - Roseanne Barr: My Bargain With God

Episode Date: June 23, 2025

It’s all about love this week as Bunnie welcomes comedy superstar, award-winning actress, best-selling author, and podcast host, Roseanne Barr. The iconic comedian shares stories about her mental health journey, leaving Hollywood, the car accident at 16 that changed everything, and the emotional moment she reunited with the daughter she gave up for adoption. She talks about what's next for her in this act, life on the Big Island, delivers a message to Jeff Bezos, and calls out the urgent need for better mental health care, especially for today’s youth. We love a spiritual woman with dirty thoughts! Roseanne Barr: IG | Podcast Watch Full Episodes & More:www.dumbblondeunrated.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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We have the bunny XO show we have meet the defaults. We have propaganda We have more shows that we're adding and not to mention we have the visuals of the podcast head over to www.patreon.com Backslash dumb blonde podcast and sign up funny exos Is this thing on miss Roseanne, I'm so happy to have you on the podcast today Oh, I'm happy to be here our white trash mother Baby podcast today. Oh, I'm happy to be here. Our white trash mother is in that house, baby. I'm so excited. You have no idea.

That's cool. I'm excited to be with you. This has been a long time coming. We've literally been talking for, it feels like years now, right? Yeah, I think it is years. Yeah. Because I haven't been to Hawaii in years,

and I wanted to have you on over there. Yep. And then I think we were on opposite islands or something when that happened. Yeah. Yeah. I never realized how big Hawaii was until you had asked me to come on the pod. And I was like, okay, yeah, we could do it. And then we looked and it was like, you were on like a whole other island. I was like, holy shit. Everybody always thinks it's a, you know, well, they usually think it's just Maui.

Yeah. And then they think it's a bunch of other floating places. Or Honolulu. Yeah, Honolulu, right. Yeah. Yeah, that's a, what island is that? I can't even remember. Oahu?

Is that Oahu? Oahu, yeah. I'm not well versed in Hawaii, but I, Yeah. Is that what it is? If I'm wrong, sorry, guys. Yeah, it's Oahu. That's where Honolulu is.

Yeah. And that's where my granddaughter was born, because we had to go over to Oahu, because they had a good mother-child hospital there. The island I live on is the Big Island, which everybody who lives there just calls Hawaii. That's the island named Hawaii. So is the Big Island Kona? No, the Big island is Hawaii. Is Hawaii, OK.

Yeah, but everybody forgets that and they say Kona, or they say the big island now. But it actually is the one that's named Hawaii. Gotcha. And it's the biggest island with the least amount of people, which I love because you can drive drunk over there and you won't get no accident. Are you driving drunk over there? Well, I was at the time, but I had to put an end to that

because I don't see well, you know? And so there's no business to be driving drunk with just one eye, you know, at all. There's just no business for me to be doing that. And I hit a few people, but luckily I was not hurt. Right. So I... A few speed bumps along the way, right?

Well, I jerked the car when I saw they was having the McRib back there. And McDonald's, they never give you any warning for when the McRib's coming back. And with my one eye there, drunk... You're like a pirate. for when the McRib's coming back. And with my one eye there, drunk. You're like a pirate. You're like a freaking drunk pirate. Yeah. And I never knew.

But then when I seen the McRib was back, I went, oh, you know, to get over there in line, hit a couple folk. But, you know, I did get the McRib. And then I said, God, if you get me home with no Hawaiian police, of course, they're nowhere because boy, they're all always, you know, out eating and drinking. But I said, if you get me home, this is the last time I'm going to do that. If you'll get me home

without these people being able to identify me. And I made it. Isn't it crazy how we barter with God? Isn't it? You know how many times I have gotten down on my knees and said, Lord, if you get me out of this, I promise you I'll never do this again. You know, as funny as I'm writing a new sitcom for myself and that's what it's about. It's about all that. Really? Yeah, because I think that's the funniest stuff in the world, how silly we are about God.

Yeah. What are your beliefs? I would love to know because I hear you talk a lot about spiritual awakenings and how you feel like an alien, and you have some psychicness that runs through your veins. I totally relate to that and I just wanted to know, what is your spirituality? Well, I do feel like an alien because, and I've always felt like an alien

because I knew I was on a different frequency than the rest of my family because I didn't even get them. I didn't know what they were up to. Same, sister. Same, same. I tried to figure it out always, but it was like foreign. It wasn't nothing I would ever do

and it didn't make any sense to me. How come they would say one thing and then do the exact opposite thing right after? And then it pisses you off because you want to call them out because they're being hypocrites. Well, I didn't think they were being hypocrites. I was just like, why would anyone do that?

Especially why would somebody say, they'd say like, you know, God sees everything you do. So you want to be real careful what you do because God sees it. Then the next minute they're stealing something. No, I'd be like, well, you must not believe what you say. Right. Right. Some of you practice what you preach. Right. Maybe some of you doesn't know what the other one does.

So then I think, well, you know, they tell you don't let your right hand know what your left hand's doing. So that's what they're up to, I guess. I don't know what they're doing. I always want to have things make sense. Right. Right? Well, it's, I think you and I are kind of the same person

and what's black is black, what's white is white, and we don't like the gray in between. Say what you mean and mean what you say or don't say it at all. Come real or don't come at all. And I don't think that's a bad trait to have in a person. Well, I just remember I got hit by a car when I was 16 and the hood ornament went in my head and I got a brain concussion and a head concussion. And I was in a coma and all that stuff. And when I woke up, I had some kind of malfunction in the brain, the healing process. But one thing that happened is I couldn't lie

because see, I mean, not that I'm a good person. I wanted to be a liar like everybody else, but I couldn't remember the lie. You know, the next day, it was just, I had to tell the truth because I couldn't remember my lies. Right. Yeah, you didn't want to get caught up.

Yeah. The next day, I'd make up a whole new lie. And then they'd go, well, yesterday you said, so I go, oh man, I told two lies. Then I just have to tell the truth because it's simpler. And I want to hear the truth so I don't have to wade through the other person's lies and bullshit to figure out what lying bullshit they're telling me. That's wasting my whole life. Just tell me the truth. I can deal with the truth. I'd rather have the truth than I'd rather tell the truth.

Saves a lot of time, then I have more time for shopping on Amazon. See? Amen, sister. We were just talking about our love for Amazon. We're like both obsessed with Amazon. I told her that I have such a problem with shopping in the middle of the night

and she said she does too. And we're like absolutely obsessed with Amazon. It's just too easy. Like I'm out there last night at 3 AM getting, I go, I got to get a scrub brush for the porch, because me and my granddaughter, we shoot bugs. You know, we got that bug killer with the salt. Yeah.

And it's so fun. And so we shoot all these June bugs. And then, you know, their blood squishes right out of them. Oh, wow. And it leaves a mark on the cement. So I got to get a scrubber. I'm thinking at 3 a.m. waking up, you've got to get a scrubber. So I get on Amazon and I peruse through like 39 pages of different kinds of scrubbers.

And I end up with like five. Yeah, you get like I always get like two or three of the same thing. Even when I order clothes, I order two of the same thing. Why? Different sizes. Cause I never know. Oh, cause you don't know if it fits. You never know, yeah.

Cause it never does fit, right? Ever. Nothing ever fits. Yes, and I like to have a selection, you know. Cause you know which one to send back? No, I just give it to my friends. So I have like girlfriends who live around me. So if I have any extra clothes,

I just pile them all together and I just give it to them. Yeah I try to do that too but my daughter-in-law says I should send things back and instead of doing that. I feel like it's so much more of a hassle to do that you know. Yeah I ask her to do it. Yeah. She's good at returns. She's really thrifty. That's a good word for it. She's thrifty. I admire that because I just can't do it. I don't have the patience to send stuff back. I'm just like, I'd rather give it to somebody else. Oh, you asked me about my spirituality. See, that's an alien word to me. Spirituality.

When people say that, I have to say, what do you mean exactly by that? Because everybody says spirituality. I don't know what they mean. So I think there's a difference. I think there's a difference between being religious and being spiritual. And I feel like being religious puts so many people into a box.

So I feel like when you ask somebody, are you spiritual or what is your spirituality, that it's a little bit more fluid. So it's like, you know, there's some people, like what do you believe happens when we die? Like, where do you think we go? Do you know, there's some people like, what do you believe happens when we die? Like, where do you think we go? Do you think that there's a higher power? Do you think do you believe in the devil? Like, there's so many different things and aspects of spirituality.

That's a lot of questions. Well, I believe in God. Right. Yeah. And, you know, I'm a Jew. I'm a scary Jew. I control everything in the world. And that's a hard job. I do try to control everything in the world because I'm so afraid everything's falling apart and that I'm the only person alive who knows how to fix it because that's part of my mental makeup. And I just stay in that all day talking to God. How do you think I can get, shove my way into this situation or that situation

to give these people my two cents of how they can fix things? Because every time when people listen to me, things go better for them. And I just feel like God put me here to tell people how to fix up their lives. And that's my spirituality. I just feel like God tells me what to do and I do it. So however you're going to interpret that, you know, every day he calls me, I'm like, what? I don't want him to bother me, but he does all the time. And he says, you know, you have to do it. And I'm like, can't you get somebody else?

Can't you get somebody they want to hear it from? Can't you get a guy, a real good looking guy or a rapper or somebody like that they want to hear? He goes, no, it has to be you, Roseanne. I'm like, you know I'll do it. But it never goes right for me when I do it. I say, how come it never goes right for me? I always do it wrong, you know?

I feel like people want to hear from you, though. I feel like people, like, yes, you do take the fall and people do, you're an easy target for people to come after, but that doesn't mean that they're not listening to what you're saying. They listen to everything you say, whether they apply it to their lives or not. That's a different story. But I do think people would rather hear messages from God from you than somebody who you just named, like a rapper or somebody else. I think, yeah.

Well, here's what he told me. I'm like, you know I'll do it, but you know, everyone's going to hate me like they usually do when I say anything about the truth that you want me to tell. And he's like, well, you know, Roseanne, nobody likes a truth teller. They only like him after they've been dead about 2000 or so years and only if they died in horrible, torturous deaths. Then they like him about 2,000 years later. But if the guy came again, they'd do it all over to him the second time, because they don't like to hear the truth. Well, why? Because, you know, it's too scary, it's too naked, and it makes

you have to change. And most people can't change, nor do they want to. They don't give a damn. They'd rather tell everybody else how to change, and so would I. But the only difference is I did change. I changed not just once, but many, many times. And every time I changed, I wanted to tell people about it because I thought it was so great to be able to change, to be able to change from when your first reaction, you know, when the doctor hits you there,

you go, whatever, response or reflex. When your first reflex like mine was at a time where I was so filled with negativity to hate, to judge, to look outside myself for answers. And I changed that, because I was able to crash to the bottom. And I stopped letting all this artificial crap to prop me up. It just was all kicked out from under me and I crashed to the bottom. I stopped letting all this artificial crap to prop me up. It just was all kicked out from under me and I crashed to the bottom.

And that was just the best thing, because it made me change. And it made me value different things. And the thing I valued most was my connection to God. And always did, but this time even more. And I knew that it was transformative. And I knew that it was gonna change me even more than the other thousand times God saved my life

and brought about change in my negative reactions. And I was able to change in that now, and I cry over this, because it is a miracle, because I'm a Scorpio. And I'm old and bitter and a Jew. But, cause so I'm so paranoid too, with mental health issues because of the horrible world, but as a child, but my first response now is love. I never understood it.

I never knew. What a different everything. You know what I'm talking about. Absolutely. I know you do. Because I've watched your story and you're radiating love for this man whose whole being is changing. I'm like, what is that guy on? I gotta get on that because I've gotta lose weight.

I really do have to lose weight. You look phenomenal. I know, but I wanna look even better. I really do because a lot of these shops on Amazon, on their, the luxury shops, they don't go above size eight. Really? I don't know. I think you're looking in the wrong places. Cause I've-

On those luxury shops on Amazon, on the Amazon, the new ones. I haven't made it over there yet on that side of it. I'm on the furniture side. Well, they're way too expensive. I'll tell you that Amazon's trying to rip us off with that because I'll go on there. They have some ugly dresses on there for $3,000.

And I'm like, are you kidding? Are you kidding? Tell Jeff right now. I am. You got to up your product on the luxury thing and down your prices, honey. I think it's that girl he's gonna marry. You know, I'm still negative when I'm in my comedy mode

because you've gotta slap people a little at times when you're my age. But that girl he's marrying, she must have something to do with that luxury page. And I don't like the way she dresses. She might be a nice girl. I don't know. I don't like the way she dresses. She might be a nice girl. I don't know. I don't like the way she's carrying herself and the way she's

dressing. So she should have nothing to do with that luxury page. That's my opinion. How do you feel about the fact that she was just a part of the group that went to space? I think about those those poor people that went to space and then something went wrong and they never returned. Why couldn't that happen? Well, they said that those people did come back. Didn't they come back in like March, the people that went up and they got stuck? Yeah, they did.

They did say they came back. But yeah, so do you believe that they really went? But then they said those guys didn't really go and he was Katy Perrying them. Right, I yeah, so do you believe that they really... But then they said those guys didn't really go and he was Katy Perrying them. Right, I was going, do you believe that they went? They never would have went in space, those girls. Yeah.

They'd have to be away from their handlers. They couldn't do that for two days. I know that, you know? Do you think Bezos is handling her or do you think she's handling Bezos? Who, the girlfriend? She's his handler. Oh, okay. You know people say-

You know she's a dominatrix. I can tell. You know that business. You have information as I do too from the old days. Back when I was alive and had a sex drive and everything. But you know she's a dominatrix. You can see that, right? She makes him put on a fairly pink apron

and clean the house. I can see that right. She makes him put on a fairly pink apron and clean the house. I can see it. Can you? I don't really know too much about their relationship to analyze it. I think she's beautiful and I think Jeff, you know, it's the tale as old as- But their sex life, can't you just fantasize about

that she makes him- Nothing about Jeff Bezos makes me wanna fantasize anything, okay? No, I do not have a thing for Jeff Bezos. Can't do it. You win that one. I want good summer vibes all season long, and that means feeling and looking amazing everywhere you go.

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Because I have heard you talk about- I'm a very spiritual woman who thinks really dirty thoughts. It's all right, me too. That's why we get along, baby. I wanted to bring it back to your childhood though, because I got to- Bummer. I know, wah, wah, wah.

But I really think that it's such a beautiful story of just how far you've came. And I think a lot of my generation who grew up with you loves you so much, but I also have a lot of younger listeners who might not know your life and like how you grew up. And being a Jew in Salt Lake City. Mm-hmm. An Orthodox, raised in an Orthodox Jewish family

in Salt Lake City, Utah, in the ghetto. Wow. They have ghettos in Salt Lake? Yeah, they had an inner city there. And we was raised in an apartment house, it was like a tenement there, that my grandparents had, they owned, and they had owned the only kosher butcher shop in the West, I think, and they had saved

all their money and then they bought this apartment house, I think it had ten apartments in it, it was two blocks away from their butcher shop, they had saved and all that stuff and they bought that and that was a pride and joy, you know, and they Then World War two happened or something and they ended up to sponsor 50 over the years 50 refugee families from you know concentration camps in Europe.

And when I was a little girl, every apartment building besides, I mean, apartment in the building, besides mine and my aunt's were those survivors. Wow. And so that's how I grew up. And every Friday night on Shabbat, everyone would come to my grandma's house for the Sabbath dinner.

And she had a little window seat there. And I would entertain every Shabbat. I would entertain, because I like to see the people feeling happy and clapping and laughing rather than morose and sad. And so I'd like Shirley Temple. And so I would recreate the Shirley Temple experience for these poor people. And they loved it.

And everyone in my family, I didn't realize that they were lying to me and destroying me in every way. But they told me that I was even better than Shirley Temple, and I believed them. They said I was more beautiful and more talented than Shirley Temple. And I totally believed them.

But maybe they felt that way. Well, their feelings were not factual. I found out when I was 12 and went out into the world and attempted to do my Shirley Temple Act for the other people in the world who told me, in fact, I was not pretty or more talented than Shirley Temple and it really destroyed me. And yeah, I lived in a fantasy world all those years,

trying to escape, you know, it was a horrible thing. And I had to hear all the stories and they were horrifying. And you know, people who are scarred and that kind of thing, you know, there's just no boundaries. You know, I had to hear horrible things. And so I had to make up funny things to balance it. When you say you heard horrible things, what are you referring to?

Oh, my God. They talk about what happened to them. And they always point to me because I was the only kid. And they go, little girls just like her. You know what they did to them and they'd tell and I'd be like, eugh, on the good ship, lolly pop. I don't want to hear this stuff. Well, I did hear it.

I thought that was what the world was still like. I became very paranoid and mentally handicapped and all kinds of neurosis. And I thought that was what the world was like. And in many cases in my life, that's what it was like. We had a neighbor who didn't like Jews very much, in fact hated them. And their father had been in the war on the German side and came to America. And his son used to torture me and abuse me and say things like, we should

have got you all. And I was only six or seven on my way home from school. My brother was nine years old and had had his nose broken nine times by getting the crap beat out of him every day after school. And, you know, so... Just for being Jewish? Yeah, yeah. Wow. So, you know, I know it's there,

and I always would think about how I could fight it. And I took a vow as a young girl that I always would fight any kind of hatred like that, any kind of irrational hatred, and I always wondered why people were captured by it. And I pretty much figured out why, because it's satanic. That kind of stuff, you're captive of Satan. And I knew that there, I always knew

that there was a war between good and evil, and that evil is about hate. And mine was about fear of hate. But I feared so bad that I actually was giving out hate vibes. And I didn't understand that, that I was attracting what I loathed. And I was giving it out, too. Till I went to the side of like, man, I'm gonna feel love.

And when I let it in, which ironically only happened after I got fired and humiliated and called a racist by real racists. I thought people were coming to get me when they was calling me racist every day and all that stuff on TV. And people were coming up to my mom's house where I was scared shitless because it was like, this is like the thing

you've feared your whole life. And they were coming up to my mom's porch, and I was like, oh my God, my mom, I was freaking out. And they, this was in Salt Lake, where I'd experienced those things. And they ring the doorbell and they go, here's some cookies, we want you to tell Roseanne we love her so much. We just think it's terrible what they did to her.

And these were people I didn't even know. And they just kept coming. And every time I would, then I'd get brave and go outside and it would happen everywhere. And I got this feeling like I was shown love. And I let it in. I didn't go either just using me, they're just setting me up.

I didn't have the fear anymore. I didn't have the shield of fear, which lets in hate, which lets in division and doubt and all the negative, love just brought all the positive in every way. I got funny again. I got real funny. I mean, I really crack my grandkids up. No, I could imagine.

Like, cause I do. Having you as a grandma. Silly things that they love. And I don't have to use words, you know, which I really love that kind of silly. But I wanted to get back out there and fight for the stuff that I hold dear, which is all the stuff that I had on my show.

Family love, equality, decency, helping people, you know, values that money isn't first. Something else is first. I think that's what drew people to you too, is when, you know, in the 80s, you were one of the most powerful women in Hollywood. And to have a top rated show like Roseanne that pretty much showed a you know like and I always call it in a world of feel-good family

television because there was like family matters full house and then there's Roseanne who you know you guys painted a picture of what real families were about like everything else was kind of like cookie cutter and like sugary, whereas yours was real and raw. And I think that you showed people how to love. You good, mama? You good, mama? Thank you.

I think you showed people how to love just by being yourself. So to hear you say that you were so negative and stuff like that, was that after the Roseanne stuff? The show was my therapy. Was it? Okay. It was my soul and my God thing. It's like, I'm going to tell, I'm going to make something good from this.

But like all comics and all proud writers and people like that, creatives. I mean, it does come from a rule, I'm a troll and a slug, but I produce a great song. I mean, we're all kind of that way, you know. Our worst enemies. Well, we're in pain and that's what makes us creative so much, especially when you're young. That's why people take drugs and, you know, everybody's doing all that. But when you're older and you get that big change,

where it's like, oh man, I don't have to do that anymore. It's from another place now. I guess it's wisdom of age. Cause now I'm writing, like I said, I'm writing another short show. And I think it's so funny. The people I have in it are funny. And it's a, we're just busting the gut.

It's a different experience of people who love me and are creative and fun. I just wanna have fun this time. Just fun, fun, fun. And laughs off, I'm no fighting. Nothing, I'm doing it as an experiment because I, of course, made a bargain with God. I think I have one more thing in me

and I just promise joy because I you know, I'm a Jew, like I say, and I do study Torah. And Torah tells us that God loves our joy so much more than He, I'm not saying it right, but of course he has mercy on us for us when we're in sorrow, but he has great, great joy when we have joy. So I'm doing that to give joy to God rather than when he had to give me so much mercy. You don't want to create out of joy. Cause I feel like, hell, I'm 72. I gotta go out big, happy, big. Yeah.

And, you know, buying all kind of Amazon things. What is it like aging, you know, in Hollywood and just seeing yourself from the beginning till now, would you ever expect to be in the mind frame that you're in now back then? Well, I left Hollywood. I left Hollywood after Rosanne Show, which ended in 97. And I don't want my kids raised there.

And I don't wanna be there when I wasn't working. So then I went to Hawaii and I was a farmer. And so- Immediately, so in the 90s is when you went to Hawaii? I can't remember. I have to look it up. No worries. I can't remember. No worries.

But anyway, yeah, when my son was going in ninth grade, I don't know what year it was. But anyways, I went over there and bought a farm and immediately started farming. And my son went to high school there and all my grandkids were there and we just were farming. I never went back to, I mean to Hollywood till they called me and begged me.

And you know, I came back and had another number one show after 20 years, I did it twice. And so that was pretty spectacular. I think that's a testimony to who you are. Well, I didn't want to do it, but God was bugging me that time. He's like, you need to go back because they're trying to divide people along so many

divisions, like race, class, everything, male, female, go do the show about everybody getting along despite who they're voting for. So I'm like, yeah, okay, I will. And you know, got 28 million viewers in the first two weeks. And then it went down just a little bit like everything always does, but it made a huge impact. And I felt like it did open dialogue

between Republicans and Democrats and everybody else. And then, oh, they hated that. Because they hated that. Mm-hmm. Because they needed. Well, unity, when people. They needed division because the 2018 elections was coming up. And, you know, they make money off that division. They fundraise like hell. That's all they care about.

Mm-hmm. But, you know, we lived through it. And here we are in 2025. I think it's the golden age now. I think it's the beginning of the golden age of America and the world, too. And I just think that's the way God wants it and that's the way it's going. Did you ever think that you would be so full of love and have the mind frame that you have now back then?

Well, I prayed for it my whole life that I would have wisdom and be rid of my demons and fears. I prayed for my whole life, but of course, I never, I tried to be on a lot of meds and psychiatrics and every other kind of damn thing. But nothing worked till getting fired and going down to hell and being rose back up by the wings of God Almighty.

Well, that worked real good. So you gotta say, hey, thanks you butt holes. You know, thanks a lot. I didn't see the diamond lining in that black cloud. But I do now and I'm happier in hell and I'm happy to tell people that, you know, when you're at your lowest, that's when if you got the right heart and you see when you're at your lowest, that's when if you got the right heart and

you see that you're at your lowest and you ask God humbly to help you, that's when everything opens up, don't it? Ma'am. Yes, ma'am. It's funny how stuff works. I always say when you're on your knees, you're in the best position to pray. Right? Well, you can pray a lot of other ways too. You don't have to really be on your

knees. Yeah. You can be standing on your head or, you know, in a supermarket or you can be anywhere. And it's always now. Isn't that great? Yes, ma'am. And now is now is always the right time to start doing it. Yes. Okay, let's be real. I've had a love hate relationship with pushup bras for years. Either they'd gap at the top, dig into my sides, or give that weird stiff unnatural lift that felt like armor instead of underwear.

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Shop the Skims Ultimate Bra Collection and more at skims.com. After you place your order, be sure to let them know I sent you select podcast in the survey and be sure to select my show Dumb Bl Blonde, in the drop down menu that follows. Yeah, I heard you just talk about saying that you've taken psychiatric drugs and stuff like that. Oh, hell yeah.

I do know that you've also been on a spiritual healing with ayahuasca. Oh no, I never did that, I wish. You never did ayahuasca, okay. I'm too scared to do that. What about mushrooms? Well, I did do them one time, yeah. I did them a couple of times.

Well, I always do the low dose there, because I don't really want to see things. I just want no anxiety. I have such anxiety. Do you? Oh my god. Let's talk about it, because I do, too. You also talk about having OCD as a child, too,

which I suffer from OCD. And I talk about it on the podcast. So when I read that you had said that you had a fear of you had rituals and you had a fear of contamination, I was like, I relate to that so much. Like if I open a water bottle and I take my eyes off of it, I have to have a whole new water bottle. I do that one. Do you? Is that contamination OCD also? Well, I think it's the fear of germs. Yeah, well, mine's drug related. I continue drugs.

Right. Or drugged, yes. Drugged, yeah. Because that does happen. No, it happens all the time. And you can't, I just don't trust people. I don't either. Where do you think your OCD and childhood came from?

Because that's, normally that stems from some sort of something that has happened. I know mine stems from abuse. I grew up in a very abusive household. So my OCD started at a very young age because of that. Where do you think yours came from? Well, my parents were, my whole family was insane. No, same, sister.

I mean, insane. Yeah. I mean, really, seriously crazy. And, uh, but, you know, because of PTSD and horror, so they didn't know what the hell they were doing. But like, our house, I mean, you wouldn't believe it. It's just too crazy. Right.

My parents, all they did was make out. The two of them made out and they had four kids. And they just, all they did was make out, which gave me a repulsion for human sexuality. Oh, no. It was disgusting. I remember when, ugh, my mom. Was it regular making out?

Oh, yeah. Like, he'd come home from work and she'd be standing there in front of the heat. She turned on the heat, and it took me a long time to put it together. She had this pan war set. All of us would just be sitting there. And she'd stand in front of the heat so this pan war would billow out there. She'd have these ruby red lips on. She looked like Liz Taylor.

She was the beauty of, she was like the only beautiful Jewish girl in the whole town. The rest of them looked like Ruth Buzzi. But anyway, and my dad was the only Jewish football hero ever in Utah or the world, I guess. But so he'd come through the door and she'd be there with the ruby red lips, and he'd come home from work, and she'd be there all billowed out with the pin war and the red lips. And, oh, it was so gross!

And Daddy, he'd go, well, hello there. And then he'd rush to her like Clark Gable or some hideous thing like in some movie and then start kissing. They'd just always be kissing. Ugh, it was just sickening. I hate that because me and my husband make out all the time.

So I wonder if our kid feels the same way. Oh, I'm sure they will. They do. I'm sure they do. Ask them. We do all the time. She's always like, you know, she's so used to it now because. We do all the time, she's always like, she's so used to it now because we just,

but I mean, we're not like full on like swap and spit, but we're very affectionate with each other. So I just hope it doesn't send her on a path of being repulsed of sexual behavior in any sort of way. Well, the other ones all went gay. Oh no. So, I don't know, they were probably repulsed by heterosexuality. But, you know, it just, it was all, so daddy was always

trying to kill us kids so that he could just have mom by himself. Oh, no. But he wasn't conscious of the fact that he was always trying to kill us. How would he try to kill you? Well, we didn't have any furniture or anything because daddy said, I could live in a tent.

I don't need any furniture. I could live in a tent. A man is owned by the things he owns. Say all that kind of crazy commie shit, you know? Dad, we have no place to sit or do our homework. Yeah, you don't need any, you know. So mom finally went to therapy. So she said, we're gonna have a regular house.

All right. You know, so anyway, she says he's gonna remodel. So he strips all the wallpaper off the walls with the kerosene thing and he leaves it on and he's smoking in the house. And yeah, and so the neighbors call the cops and they come over there with the welfare. And they go, Mr. Barr, do you realize

you've stripped all your wallpaper off and you have kerosene? He never threw the wallpaper out either. You have kerosene soaked rags in your home with cigarettes with four children. He goes, I'm sorry, sir. It never occurred to me that that was a bad thing to do, sir. Oh my gosh. My dad was horrified because it never occurred to him, right?

So, you know, that kind of thing. They go, you have 48 hours to clean this up or you're going to take your kids out of this house. So they leave. My dad comes over, slaps me across the head. Get cleaning this place up. No. And then we'd have to go down to get our clothes to go to school because we only had two towels for six people.

And because dad didn't want to spend any money on towels. But anyway, we have to go in the laundry in the, uh, dryer to get our clothes for school. And above the dryer was a naked light bulb that you have to stand in a puddle of water to screw in before you get your clothes out of the dryer. So every day we'd go down to get either a towel or clothes and we would get like a horrible shock. And it was like we'd make fun of it. Us kids we'd go wake up, brush your teeth, eat breakfast, go down, get 300 you know microwave shock, get your clothes, pack your lunch. And then you know they said, we just laugh about it.

Nobody said, it's dangerous to have your children stand in a puddle of water and screw in a light bulb on a wired hanging down. That is insane. And it was always like, there was all like, all booby trap crazy shit. But no wonder you had OCD. I could see all the travel right now.

And I would always do everything five times because I knew if I'd, because sometimes I do things twice and then I would recognize the pattern of something's horribly wrong is gonna start a fire. Right. So I always have to do everything five times to make sure like the door was locked

because sometimes they leave the door wide open when we went to sleep. I have to go down and check, check, check, check, check. But they got better. My parents did get better. Good. Well, I'm happy to hear that. Didn't they also, wasn't it hard for you guys to be Jews in such a Mormon-filled city, do they have you hide your, your, you know, being Jewish? Well, my mother was very paranoid because we lived in a, surrounded by, you know, Mormon people. They were mostly nice people,

but they didn't understand why they did things. Like say, we are not allowed to play with Jewish kids on Sunday. Stuff like that. They didn't know what they were doing. But weren't you given speeches at the Mormon temple? I had read something like that. Yeah, that's when I was about four or five years old. I fell on the table leg and I got bells palsy in my face. Oh my goodness.

And so I say in my book, one of my books, I said, the first thing mom does is call the rabbi to come over and pray, nothing happens. Second thing, they convince her to call the Mormons to pray, they come over and pray and it goes away. And in my book I say, why a health professional was never consulted, you may ask, but that's Utah. Right.

They just pray for everything and it worked. And then, so we started going around to the Mormon church to talk about how that healed my Bell's palsy. And then when I was 15, I was always reading medical journals cause that was my hobby, looking for disease. And it says, Bell's palsy, often a 48-hour condition. So then I went berserk and ran in the street

and got hit by a car. That's when I got the brain damage and started having seizures and all kinds of things. But then I did start actually having foresight. I did see things before they would happen. Did you ever have that before the accident? I don't remember having it before the accident. I did have visions before the accident of thinking information was coming to me. I just interviewed Alex Jones about that. I'm obsessed. I had downloads like from heaven,

heavenly information coming down, that there was no way I would know. Right. You didn't know how to receive it at the time. I didn't even know why I knew it. Yeah. But I would find it later in a book, word for word, a book I never read.

Wow. A lot of that book I never read. Wow. A lot of that when I was younger. Because I had, I mean, I had dissociative identity disorder. Did you, so you had that before you were hit? Yeah. When did you get diagnosed with that? I was 42.

So that was when I was on the Roseanne Show. So okay, so but before you got hit by the vehicle, you never had any sort of mental issues or anything like that? Well, I didn't know I did. Right. I mean, I just thought everything was, you know, crazy. Right. Well, you were also only 15, right, when you got hit by that car? Yeah.

Yeah, so. And then I had real, like, you know, from catastrophic brain and like football players get, you know. Right, like, so I spent about 10 years healing from that and didn't even know about my dissociative problem. Gotcha. So then, boy, this sounds like a sad saga for hell. Then I had experiences like I would put myself in really weird, unsafe positions and just suddenly go, why am I here? What have I done?

Like impulsive? Well, just waking up in a strange place, not knowing what the hell I was doing there. That was always in my life. Was that alcohol or drug induced? No, that was mental. Just mental. Oh, gotcha. Okay.

Yeah. Like, you know. Just completely being separated from your body? Well, having amnesia. That's what it is if you have amnesia between the parts of you. You know, but that helped me when I was on TV because when I go into this one certain mind space,

I can write 150 jokes in an hour. I just focus. So there's intense focus, it goes, you know. And then another space that I can get into is, you know, religious study. And I can just, but those used to be parts. Now they're just mind spaces, you know. But I didn't remember between what I had done, you know.

Right. So it's chronic mental illness. And then I had the frosting on top with the needing to do everything five times and fear of touching people. And not knowing what was just real social, I had social anxiety and I never knew what to say to people. But I could play a character and do stand-up.

But one-on-one, I was never any good at the one-on-one thing. Yeah. No, I understand that. My first meet and greet, I wore gloves and a mask, and people thought I was... But I'm so open about what my, you know, OCD and stuff like that, that, you know, people online, when they first saw it, they were like,

how are you doing this? Like, that's so rude, but then when I came out and I was like, look, I have severe OCD. I don't like shaking people's hands. I don't either, I never do that. I will not, I'll fist bump you, or I'll hug you. Yes, I will not shake somebody's hands. If somebody's hand is wet or wet.

Oh, that's the worst. Oh, I almost vomit. That's why I quit. I'll think about it all day. I will too. I'll think about it all day. I can't do it too much. Cause I'll go into like a horrifying nervous breakdown.

Same. The last time I did it, I said that I'm not doing it again. Ever. I knew the guy was gonna have a fish hand. Oh. And I was like, I said that I'm not doing it again. Ever. I knew the guy was going to have a fish hand. Oh. And I was like, no, they're going, you have to shake his hand. This is a, I go, I know it's going to happen.

And then it's like, oh. And then it's like, I can, then I, like, also, when I touch people, I can read their thoughts. Can you? It's not that I can read their thoughts, but I can read their energy. So like? It's not that I can read their thoughts, but I can read their energy. Energy, yeah. So, like, yeah, we talk about it.

The minute somebody walks in a room, I'm like, this person's doing this, this one's going through this, they're going through this. Like, I call it. It's just crazy. But if you hand to hand, you can focus in hard. I don't want to. I can't do it. I didn't either.

I can't. When somebody goes in for a handshake, it's like slow-mo, and I can just hear it like... didn't either. I can't, when somebody goes in for a handshake, it's like slow-mo and I can just hear it like. It's like jaws. Er, er, er, er, er, er, er. My insides start like just, I can't do it. Like I hate it. And so they'll go in and I'll just like, oh, fist bump, you know?

Yeah, me too. The way people look at me when I do that too. Like, can we normalize fucking fist bumping? Like, I don't know where your hands have been, you know? Because people don't know this is the part of your body where a lot of healing energy is. So you don't want to give that away to someone. But every time when I get the fish hand thing,

oh, I've seen people too. I say it on stage. I don't shake hands because I've seen people pull their pants out of their butt crack and then turn around and want to shake my hand or go like, there's hey, Rosa. Yeah. I'm like, God. No.

I'm not touching you. Listen, you are preaching to the choir. I am the same way. I can't do it. So when you, okay, so I just kind of want to paint a picture for everybody at home. So you ended up at 16 getting hit by a car and then you went into a mental hospital.

I heard you talk about it with Joe Rogan for about nine months. Yeah, about nine months, Utah State Hospital. That's a long time. I know, I was crazy about that. I went into one when I was 14. My parents put me into one. I ended up leaving home at 14

because I had such an abusive household and I never went back. But their last hurrah was to put me in a mental hospital and I was in there for just a few days, maybe a week. And the shit I saw in there in a week, I couldn't imagine what you saw in nine months. Like it was wild. Like how state assisted facilities are ran is crazy.

I don't even know how they're allowed to be open. It's unspeakable. No, it's not okay. And I don't know how the state keeps funding places like this for people. There's nothing healing about them. It's the opposite. Exactly. Well, I did learn a lot about government there. Everybody's always like, how did you figure all this stuff out or where did you get this opinion? Well, because I saw it firsthand. I saw what they do to kids. I saw it. What can you, is there an example?

Well, they farm them. Wow. They farm kids, you know. Of course. When you say farm kids, what do you mean by that? Well, I was on an adult board. As a teenager? Yeah. Wow. Which was even worse. I couldn't imagine. Than being on a child or a teenager's unit. Wow.

But it's way worse and dangerous. And it's like being in prison. Why would they have a child on an adult floor? I don't know, but they did. They had two of us girls. The other girl was 12, and I was 16. How is that even legal? I don't know.

Wow. But the other kids in our school where we went every day, a lot of them were on a teen, I don't know, they ran out of room or something. But they, you know, it was kind of like Cuckoo's Nest at that time. I mean, this was when, the 60s. And if you didn't, I mean, people, they didn't know how to treat mental illness. No, they still kind of don't. It's a little bit more fluid now and more talked about, but you know, when our daughter was going through some mental health issues, trying to even find somewhere to help a teen

that's going through mental issues is impossible. Yeah, it is. Yeah. So they haven't gotten much better. No, they're no better. My kids, I have problems with my daughters as teens, too. Yeah. Two of them. And, you know, I sent them through every kind of thing there was. And that was all a horrible nightmare, too.

No, it's horrible. They don't care about mental health out here. No. Like they should. they don't care about mental health out here like they should. And that's the real, what do you call it, where it's like just widespread and wild epidemic. Yeah, that's the word. That's the real, of young people. Because, you know, they have, their memory banks are just over flooded. Over similar. Nobody gives them the cornerstone that cling to. There's no-

No coping. There's no foundation to cling to. The foundations are kicked out from under them. I thought that too when I did the Roseanne show. So I tried to put a stake there that the family was still the foundation. And of course it is, but look how they've just destroyed it. But I think we'll come back. I think we'll come back to the real values that humanity really cares about.

I mean, people want to get married and have kids. They want to have family. They want to have community. They want to have love. And everybody wants the same thing, safe places for their children, schools they can learn in, places we can hang out and, you know, care for our neighbors. And I think we're going to have to be the ones to do it because everything's kicked out from under us

and we just gotta rebuild it. Yeah. Right? I couldn't agree more. I'm so- And we have to do it. Nobody's gonna do it for us because they'll just F it up and use us again and take everything we got.

But we need to talk to each other across boundaries they've made for us. We have to use our voice. Stupid divisive things. Talk to other people that ain't just like you and we'll build some kind of network between us and we'll make it work for us. Yeah, absolutely. Circling back, when you said that you saw them farming children, like what did you mean by that? And like, what did you witness in that hospital?

Oh my God, it's too much to even go into. Really? I mean, if you didn't knuckle under, you paid a price. You paid a horrible price. And they had collective punishment, so that if one person did something, everyone lost their privileges. Mm. To create discord and the...

Yeah. That was the worst. Wow. Yeah, that was the worst. There was no incentive for you to get better because of that. Yeah. Because somebody would F off every time and you'd be punished. I mean, it was collective. It was communism.

And that's supposed to make you better. And then the craziest ones that they couldn't treat because they had no idea of how to treat mental health issues in the 60s in Provo, Utah. They started our therapy group with prayer, for one thing, which I don't discount that, but I mean, come on. And they handed out pills like it was candy. And I was on excessive pills. I couldn't really think, which probably was good.

But I was just flat, flat affectation. And that was probably good because one of the people who didn't knuckle under or get it or obey or whatever it was, they were trying to teach a mentally ill teenager, you know, of course they killed themselves over, there were many who did. And, you know, oh, well, well, they killed themselves. And you're supposed to go on to school the next day. It was your friend. And, uh, oh, it's just horrible.

They take us out on panels to go talk to people at universities who laughed at us. They would take you guys all drugged out to go and talk on panels? Talk about why we're in there and these sophomoric students would just be soft-mourn and stupid and ask us stupid questions about, you know, people don't understand anything to do with mental illness at all. They still don't, I don't think, any better now than back in the 60s. No, ma'am. And it's just rife. It's epidemic. Oh, my God, and they're not doing anything about it

besides just drugging people, and that doesn't work. Right. It just makes me so sad to see all these kids just... What they're doing to the kids is horrible. Oh, my God, don't get me started. But I want to fight it. You know, I have the will out of love for them... I have the will out of love for them to want to fight for them because I wish somebody had fought for me and you.

And we have big voices, so I always try to talk to people about mental health for young people. I think it's real important. I'm glad we're talking about it. And I know people who are finally doing something about healing. And, you know, with Mary Flynn, who's, you know, General Flynn's sister, and my friends are doing a lot, Moms for America. They're doing a lot, finally, in that to help kids who are captive and suffering all over the world. We all have to do our part there.

When you just said Provo, Utah, that gave me chills because that's what Paris Hilton speaks out about because she was sent away to, you know, a... Riverside. Yep. And so you were like one of the OGs who was there in the 60s, you know, and then to know that in the 60s that was going on and then all the way into the 90s and 2000s when Paris Hilton was there, it's still going on. It got worse between, I mean, it got even worse, I think, between me and the Paris because

mine was state controlled and then it was privatized and by the time Paris had her thing, it was all privatized. So you didn't even have to be a real doctor to get at them kids and that's really where they farmed them. They farmed a lot of kids that way. I mean, they farm them into, you know, sex trafficking, you know, pretending they're, oh, God, it's just the worst. It's the worst. America needs to be more responsible for its young people and change that up and fix that up right away. It should be. It's my priority, education and saving the kids of America. Oh my God. Let's not even go down there.

There's a lot of work to do. So moving on, there was another interesting fact about you that I had read and it was that, after you had gotten out of the psychiatric hospital, 17, you end up getting pregnant and having a baby. Oh yeah. And then you give your baby up for adoption, but you rekindle later on down the road. Can you tell me about that journey?

Because that's so beautiful. Yeah, I was at the Salvation Army, home for Uddenwood mothers in Denver. And I got to have her for a week. And I gave her up to Jewish Family and Children's Services there in Denver. So I knew I would always be able to find her. And I kept my name Roseanne Barr.

And I knew I was going to get famous because when I was three, one of the visions I had is that you're going to have your own TV show that's going to be called Roseanne, and you're going to be talking a lot of, you know, stuff about love on it. And so all that happened, of course, which is why I believe in God, because it happened. And I always believed it would happen. And so I told her when they came to get her, well, I'll see you when you're 18. And I knew, and I knew I'd be famous.

And I knew, because I'd have my show, so I left my name Roseanne Barr. Cut to, she's, I have my show, she's 17 and a half. And... Did she always know about you? No. Okay. But I always knew she'd...

that we'd find each other when she was 18. And so, it happened when she was 17 and a half. And just like I saw... would happen way back when, when I was pregnant. So, 17 and a half years after that, it happened. And, you know, I was on TV and that's how they found me. So that was a great thing. So the parents, the parents looked for you

or she looked for you? No, they didn't, they didn't look for me. She, all she knew was that her mother was famous in Hollywood. And Jewish. And so she thought it was Goldie Hawn was her mom because she looked just like Goldie Hawn. And so who found her was the National Enquirer. Wow.

Because my boyfriend at the time I found out way later, he went to the Enquirer and told him that I had a baby that I gave up. Was this the father of her or just another boyfriend? No, Tom Arnold when I was married to him. And I mean, he was my boyfriend. Yeah, he's making a living off selling stories about me, which I didn't know at the time. Wow.

Yeah, so anyway, they go to Colorado and bribe somebody at the county office there. So they give her the birth certificate. So they called me up. They said, did you have a, did you have a bye bye? There's an English guy. There's on, did you have a bye bye? I'm like, where'd you get this information?

Well, that doesn't matter, Rosanne. We're going to do a story on this, and we're going to cover the story whether you want us to or not. But we'd like to have your permission to photograph the two of you meeting and do a front page story in the National Enquirer. I go, fuck off. And so then I went and paid the same person they bribed. So I got the info myself through a lawyer.

And I had a mafia guy call her mom since we found out where they were and said, hey, the inquirer is going to be calling you, but we want you to know that we had got the information before blah, blah, that whole thing, and would you like to meet Roseanne? So they called her, the inquirer called her and she answered the phone,

my daughter, Brandy, and they said, would you like to know who your mother is? And she's all excited thinking it's going to be Goldie Hawn. And they go, it's Roseanne Barr, and her words, so hilarious. She goes, Christ, I didn't even know she was a Jew, which is so hilarious. She said then, and she was mad too because I was fat and everything. And then she said... Sounds like she has your personality though.

She looked down, she sat at the coffee table and I was on the cover of the Inquirer, big picture of me, and she said she starts staring at it and she goes, oh my God, I do look just like her. And she took the picture to the mirror and she just kept looking and going, I do, I look exactly like her. And then she flew out the next day, her and her mom, her other, you know, her adoptive mom, and we met and it was wonderful.

And then, you know, so we've been back together since then, and she is now 53. Oh, my gosh. She is awesome. She has a son and a lovely husband, and she's a wonderful woman. What an amazing story. Like that gave me chills throughout my body because... And she, as she said, she has the same thing I have for, like, picking up downloads and seeing.

We, like, totally, so much stuff is alike. Like, our fingers are exactly alike. And I have a picture of her sitting next to my mom. They're twins. And she is exactly like her two sisters. So it's like a completion thing, you know? Yeah. So that's just fabulous. So it was your missing puzzle piece. Yeah. And we're all an interesting family.

I think that shows a testament of your heart though, you know, because my mom gave me, my mom left me on her doorstep when I was three months. Are you kidding? Ah, bitch. But anyways, we circled back around and when I was 22, I found her and we reconnected and I actually got to take care of my mom before she died. So it was like a whole full circle thing. What made her do that?

My mom was a young stripper on drugs and just, you know, sex, drugs and rock and roll. She just, I shouldn't have time for a kid, but my dad raised me, so I was raised by my, a single father and then my stepmother whenever she came into the picture. But I think that's a testament of your heart, is that you knew that you were gonna go back for your baby. You knew that you couldn't give her the life that she needed then,

but sure as shit, when that time came back around, you welcomed her with open arms, and she's still close to you to this day, and I think that's so beautiful. that she needed then, but sure as shit, when that time came back around, you welcomed her with open arms and she's still close to you to this day. And I think that's so beautiful. Yeah, it was amazing, because we were meeting in this hotel. We were gonna meet in this hotel in,

oh, I can't remember the name of that place in LA, Westwood. Yeah. And I walked in the door and I'd seen her picture I can't remember the name of that place in LA. Westwood. Yeah. And I walked in the door and I'd seen her picture and she had seen my picture. And I went in to have a cup of coffee before I went up to their hotel room. So I stepped into the coffee shop and I just looked

and she was in there and our eyes just locked. And she got up, it was like this, two seconds. She got up from the table and we ran. We both ran and we just grabbed onto each other and we both started bawling and the security pushed us into the elevator. But it was like a magnet, you know? And her mom came up and we just,

it was a miracle, you know, when you get that feeling of miracles. I've had that so many times. I can't speak in a part. You go back and take care of the bitch? What? I, you know, I just, I never, I never was mad at my mom for doing it. For some reason, I've always been able to understand, you know, like I get it.

And I feel like if she had raised me and been in my life, I would have turned out to be way different and possibly worse. So that's foresight. So that's why you can forgive. Yeah. Because yeah, it probably would, you probably would have. Yeah. I have an older sister who was kind of raised by her

and she's, Chrissy and I love you, but she's a fricking lunatic, you know? And I'm just like, I thank God. I'm like, you know what? You had a plan for me and I'm cool with it. So she passed away in 2022. My dad actually passed away a year ago in two days.

And I actually got to take care of both of my parents even though we had rocky relationships. And I did that for me. I didn't do that for them. That's the thing, right? Yeah, that's a big one to learn. Oh, it's when you're abused, because you're abused, you're always looking, I'm going to get hit. And I got for me, it was I got to tell jokes, because if dad looking, I'm gonna get hit and I gotta, for me it was, I gotta tell jokes, cause if dad laughs, he ain't gonna hit us. So that was it, you know? But you're always looking outside yourself,

cause you're weighing how that fist is gonna come. So I was looking forward to anticipating it, avoiding it, which takes you out of yourself where all the answers are with your connection to your source, you know? That's what they take from us. But then we get a long time to get it back. But we get it back, baby, and we come back stronger than ever. How'd you get yours back? You know, I went through a really dark time, so as soon as I hit 40, I had never had depression in my entire life. That's when it hits average. Bro, it was so bad.

It was like 40, and I got put on my ass. I'm talking like I couldn't leave my house. OK. Like, it was like, it was to the point where my husband came to me, and he was like, Bunny, I love you, but you're reminding me of my mother. And if we don't figure something out, we're going to have to rethink this relationship.

Because it was so bad. I had the worst anxiety. I'm talking about like, I saw spirits. Like I would see like dark shadows all the time. Mimi had to go through it with me. It was so bad. Like I could not even leave my house. And it just sent me on a spiritual journey

where I was just like, I don't want to be afraid anymore. I've been afraid my whole life. you know, like I want to be strong I want to rise from this and so I started seeking answers. I did Therapy with an amazing man named Glenn Cohen and what he does is he rewires neurotransmitters in your brain He teaches you, you know how to meditate and how to go back and meet your, yeah, and to meet your younger self. Oh, it's, do you meditate? Yeah, I do.

Oh, it's amazing. I love it. Like even if I can't go to sleep at night, I'll start doing my breath work and literally fall right to sleep. Like I never thought I would be, because I'm such an anxious person, I never thought I would be able to meditate

and I absolutely love it. Like it's so calming and just so, it just reconnects you with, you know, and just gets your energy right. I love it to pieces. What kind of meditation do you do? Well, when I, I have to do everything five times, I'm obsessed.

So I only had four kids, and I was 42, and I had to have that fifth kid. Yeah. And so I went to have that fifth kid. Yeah. And so I went to this doctor and he, I was already sterilized. So I went to this doctor and he took these six eggs and fertilized them. You did IVF.

Yeah. I just did IVF. Oh, are you gonna have a baby? We're having a baby. We're trying to have a baby. Are you kidding? No, I actually just did my first egg retrieval and I wanted to talk to you about the IVF because I was like, she did it. How many rounds of IVF did you have to do to get your, just one?

Oh, I love that. We did it on Thanksgiving Day too. But he put six in there, four of them took, But he put six in there, four of them took. And I was like, oh my God, I'm gonna have quintuplets or whatever they are, quadruplets. I go, this is really getting me on the inquirer. And then I guess it was six weeks then I started to lose them. And I had to go in and get that, you know, ultrasound.

And they were going like I'd go once a week. And first week one, I only had three, then two, and then one, and then that one was starting to separate. And at that time, a friend had told me, you got to be in... I think the doctor said, you got to be in bed 12 weeks to keep these. And somebody said, you got to do meditation. And so I started doing it. And then I would go in and get hooked up to that thing. And I did Jewish meditation,

you know, which is based on five for the five books of Moses, you know. And I'd go see on that ultrasound and talk to the whatever it's called fetus, the embryo, and say, I really want you to stay and meditate on communicating with it and meditate to stay calm with all my craziness. And thank God for the OJ trial because that really kept me calm. That and meditation. And it kept me calm. I was in bed watching Odeon breathing and all. And it worked. Yeah. And I got my youngest son that way. But I never quit.

I never quit meditating because boy, it calms your crazy down. Mm-hmm. Definitely calms your crazy down. And it just kind of like, like we could be at a concert and I could start having panic attacks and if I do the six and then breathe out six

and do that two or three times, it literally resets your entire nervous system. It definitely does. I used to laugh at people like me. Well, it controls your heart. That's what breathing does. Because you know, your heart won't race when you're, when you get panicked, your heart starts racing,

that sets everything to go crazy. Your blood pressure, everything. So you're keeping it, because that's the thing they take away from us when we get abused that we can't learn to self-control, self-contain, you know, go inside to fix us. We want to fix everything else. And that's the symptom of being abused,

is that you want to fix everything else. But you, because you don't know how. Fix and control. Fix and control. Also, I'm such a control freak, and I've learned to let go of control these past, you know, five years because I'm 45 now. And that was my biggest issue, too, was learning how to just kind of like these past five years because I'm 45 now. And that was my biggest issue too,

was learning how to just kind of like give it to God, cast your care. Yeah, give it to God. Plus if you study Torah or whatever you're into. What is Torah? I've never heard of it. It's the five books of Moses. Okay, okay.

You know, people say the Bible, that's what it is. But it's real deep because it says like, if you're feeling this, that's because this. Like if you're feeling, like if you, and Jesus said it too, if you feel the need to remove the splinter from that guy's eye, that's because you got a big old beam in your own, it's that. Like when you feel the need to call somebody out, it's because

that person's doing something that you do too, but you can't see it in yourself. So when you feel the need to call somebody out, that means you got to go inside and wonder why you're doing that. Everything's about you and how to fix you to self-transform, that's the hardest thing, hardly anyone can do it. But if you get in the groove of it, especially if you've been abused, it's just there's nothing in the world that's so joyful than to fix what's broken in you. Yes, ma'am. And give the glory to God for helping you to do it. Because that connection is just like going

and putting the plug in the wall. Ain't it? Yeah, it's been a journey. It's a beautiful journey. And I try to tell everybody, when you're on your spiritual journey, it's not a beautiful thing. You have to see the darkness

and go through the dark to get to the light. That's right. You will never be able to reach that light until you deal with the darkness. And when I did, I stopped seeing the shadows. Nothing scares me anymore. I could see, because I've always seen spirits or felt spirits, I can see a spirit sitting in the room with me and it doesn't even scare me anymore. And I'll just know that somebody's there and they want to talk to me or they want to tell

me something. And it doesn't even freak me out anymore well as before I used to run from it and it would scare me so bad to where I would like Literally have to go to the hospital because I would be having panic attacks that were so bad That's all bad programming of you know The bad side that wants us to think that we're not connected to God, right? They want us to think that we're So captive evil, but we're not it to God. They want us to think that we're so captive to evil, but we're not, it's just flipping on the light.

No, yep. And we don't know that when we've been abused. No, you have to find your- Because that's what they want to sever is our connection to God inside. Yeah, you have to find your own light and turn your own light switch on because nobody's gonna do it for you.

Well, okay, so have you had the egg thing done? I did, I did have it. When did you do it? So I took all of March off, I did my shots in March, and I did my egg retrieval March 20th in between two eclipses. I was like, why am I doing this right now? And, you know, I haven't said publicly, you know,

everybody knows that I've done it, they just don't know when we're gonna have the baby because I want, you know, at least six months to a year with our baby without anybody invading. So we have a surrogate because I can't carry. I've had two ectopic pregnancies. Oh you can't do that again. Yeah so I just can't risk it, I'm too high risk but we do have a beautiful surrogate who I absolutely adore and she's ready. And so we're hoping, you know, sometime this year, you know, 2026,

we might have a little bundle of joy. So lovely. Yeah, we're excited. You guys deserve that. I'll say I'm going to pray. Please do. I would love a Roseanne prayer. You'll get one. Yes, you'll get one for real and I'll send it to you in words too. Thank you. When you were talking about how you were talking to the egg, to the embryo, I literally the entire time I was doing the IVF shots, I sat outside with my cow,

I wrote a letter to my unborn baby, I meditated, I just, you know, just put it all into the universe because I just want it to happen. So, Jay and I... That's the power of prayer. Literally, yeah. And Jay and I never wanted kids together, but like last year, we were both kind of like, hey, you want to have a kid? And he's like, yeah, I would love to have a kid with you.

And I'm just like, all right, let's have a kid. That's awesome. But I think it's because we both finally feel safe now, you know, and I've helped raise his daughter since she was seven years old and she's about to be 17. I can't even believe it. And I think we just realized like, hey, maybe us together won't fuck a kid up too bad. Yeah. That's why you're ready. You can do it right. Yeah, absolutely. You guys deserve that. That'll be a great experience. Thank you. You know, a great family. I can feel it.

Thank you. I appreciate that. Because you just shine. Oh, I love you. And he shows love all the time. He's the sweetest man ever. I can't wait. You guys, have you guys got to meet yet? Mm-mm. Oh, I can't wait for you guys to meet.

I want to meet because he shines, man. Yeah, he's the best human in the world. And he's always been like that, even before all of this. Like, when him and I first got together, it's just, he's always been just a good human. Now, you're gonna come on my show and let me ask all your secret love, how y'all got, and all your stuff.

You're gonna have to spill your guts like I did mine. Absolutely. I'm gonna let, I'm gonna ask you a couple questions, and then I'm letting you go. Because'm going to ask you a couple questions, and I'm letting you go. Because I need a cig. All right, let's do it. OK, what do you wish people knew about you that they'll

never read in a headline? That I walk in face, I guess. Yeah. That I really do. And I always did, but I just had so much doubt. Yeah. But now I don't have no doubt. I just have only certainty.

That feels great. I was gonna say, that's an amazing feeling when you can finally just walk so strongly and just know that you got this no matter what. If your grandkids Google you one day, what do you hope they find? My secret sex tape, no, I'm kidding. Let's see, what do I hope they find?

I'm watching that if there is one. No, there ain't one. I hope they find my deeper writing, deeper writings that I've done on this subject, this deep, deep subject of the human spirit. I hope they find those. I hope they still exist by then. They will. They will.

You're a frickin' icon. Do you feel like the world ever really gave you a chance to evolve? Oh, yeah. I do. I think maybe in spite of itself. But yeah, I do. I think maybe in spite of itself, but yeah, oh hell yeah. I was able to meet the greatest people alive

and hang out with them and go to the greatest places in the world. I never would have got that. the greatest places in the world. I never would have got that. I was just a waitress. Yeah. You know, it was fantastic. Yeah.

I love that. And last question, what's one truth you've never said out loud until now? Well, I just said it, but I'll say it again, that everything is about certainty. Every single thing. Yes. I wanna say that to kids. Roseanne, thank you so much for coming on my podcast.

You're a doll. I am freaking honored. I am honored. No, I'm honored. I am honored. And I wanna come to your house and hang out with that gorgeous cow. If you-

I love that cow. I wanna get one just like it. Crunchy needs a grandma. Will you be his grandma? I'll be Crunchy's grandma. Hell yeah. Oh my gosh. He'll be so excited to hear that.

I'm gonna FaceTime you when I get back with Crunchy so that you can meet him. He's so cute. He's adorable. I need one like that. You do gotta come visit us in Nashville. I do. I got so many friends in Nashville.

I'll come by. All right. I'm gonna hold you. I love you. I love you more. I do. I love you more. You're a light, way. I'm gonna hold you. I love you. I love you more. I do, I love you more. You're a light, man. Oh, I love you so much.

I love you too. Thank you so much. Thank you guys for tuning in. Go smoke. Go smoke, baby. Love y'all. All right, we're outta here. We gotta go. Bye.

Bye, see you later. Bye. Bye.