Dumb Blonde - Season 8: Best Of (Part 3)

Episode Date: January 20, 2025

You didn't think Bunnie would forget these iconic Season 8 moments, did you? In this Part 3 of this Best Of episode, rock legend Melissa Etheridge takes us on a captivating journey - from humble bar gigs to meteoric stardom. Bunnie and Meme then dive into the bizarre true crime case of Carly Gregg, a 14-year-old convicted of murdering her mother. Next, the captivating JD Delay joins Bunnie to share his powerful story of transformation, from career criminal to recovery coach making a difference. Bunnie then welcomes Diane Ruiz's sons, Brandon and Zane, who remember their strong and beloved mother. Kristin Cavallari adds her sunshine and shares a little more into her lore, and then the one and only Erica Mena takes the stage, speaking her truth about her relationship with Nicki Minaj, Safari, and clearing the air about that infamous fence-climbing scene. Watch Full Episodes & More:www.dumbblondeunrated.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Bunny XO, Bunny XO, Bunny XO, Bunny XO, Bunny XO, Bunny XO, Bunny XO, Bunny XO, Bunny XO, Bunny XO, Bunny XO, Bunny XO, Bunny XO, Bunny XO, Bunny XO, Bunny XO, Bunny XO, Bunny XO, Bunny XO, Bunny XO, Bunny XO, Bunny XO, Bunny XO, Bunny XO, Bunny XO, Bunny XO, Bunny XO, Bunny XO, Bunny XO, Bunny XO, Bunny XO, Bunny XO, Bunny XO, Bunny XO, Bunny XO, Bunny XO, Bunny XO, Bunny Is this thing on? What's up babies? Today we have a rock and roll angel in the house and I am so honored to have Ms. Melissa Etheridge in the house baby. Yay. How are you doing? I'm fantastic. Dude, I never thought, this is like a dream come true.

I just have to tell you, I don't think you realize how many nights I took my clothes off to your music. I'm telling you man, when I was in the strip club you were my jam on the stage baby. My crew used to go, we do a show and if we had a night off they would go to the strip clubs and it would bum them out so much. Every time my songs came on, they'd be like, no, the boss is watching us. No, I love that. We just went to a strip club literally two weeks ago and we went to go see male weenie boys. That's what we call them. Yeah. Some guy comes out to a jelly roll song. I was like, son of a bitch. I know. She totally kills everything. I was like, my lady boner is gone. Lady boner is gone, dude.

No, but for real, like, because I stripped in the early 2000s. So I mean, you were on fire. Thank you. I've had fun in some strip clubs hearing my songs. I bet. Oh my gosh, I can only imagine the type of attention you got. There's so much I want to talk to you about,

and it's like I don't even know where to start. I enabled for a while. I mean, I love my family. And you might know, when you make a lot of money all of a sudden, it becomes very weird with your family. And- I've had to cut motherfuckers off left and right okay I'm just telling you because you want to make people happy and back then

I thought oh well if I provide this then they'll they'll do this and and they never do it does it just doesn't you can't do it for anyone else it takes away their desire anyway but my sister tried that and and I had to cut everything off and I did to cut everything off. Cut ties. And I did. And nowadays, I think I saw her, I hadn't seen her in like 17 years. And I saw her, her daughter and I are very close. I helped her daughter out. You started playing in bars when you were 12 years old. What in the hell? Like I know it was

a different era back then. I feel like the era of like, I wasn't around the 70s, but the 80s, the 90s, and even the 2000s was such a fucking cool time. Like right, compared to now, I feel like everybody's offended about everything. Like you can't fucking say anything. Like I just feel like back then was just like

such a more lax era, I guess you could say. It was more magical, it almost felt like, you know. There was a lot of magic. Yes, sometimes I look back and my wife will laugh when I say, when you know, I was playing a prison and I showed her a picture of the whole act that went in there with me. I sang, but we had dancers and comedians and acrobat people, you know? And they were all in completely inappropriate outfits in the 60s, right? Going into a prison, right?

So that was that. Now the bars, my father would go with me every single time. I was never without my father. So dad was like a constant figure in your life. Constant. That's amazing. He didn't drink. He would go, he would sit there with a Coke

and just, and he would listen and then he would help me carry my equipment out. And he was, I think he liked it because we would go every Friday and Saturday night, every weekend. And I think the marriage it because we would go every Friday and Saturday night, every weekend. And I think the marriage was maybe a little, because she was having a hard time, and it was a very peaceful time for him and I.

We would really enjoy each other's company, and he would go sit and listen. And he wasn't one that critiqued me, and he didn't also, wow, you're really good, or anything like that. He just, he did. He just, he just knew it was something that made you happy. Absolutely.

And he just supported it. That's amazing. That's really cool. With that situation that was going on with your mom too, just circling back to that, how did you not internalize your mom's anger and pain? Like how did you avoid that? Do you think your relationship with your father helped you to not internalize it? Hmm. Because I know how it is to be around people with depression and

sometimes it's very easy to soak up their energy too. Yeah well I got out of there as fast as I could. Okay. You know when I was 18, like I graduated high school and I went to college for a minute. Berkeley College. Not just anybody can get into Berkeley College by the way. Well, it's true. That's true back then. But I didn't go for very long. I only went for a few months because I wanted to sing and play. And I'd already been playing and making music.

So I just found a restaurant that had a lounge in it that I could go play and I can make money and work on my dream I really was not a kind of girl that was serious. It was not a studious musician. No No, I feel like musicians you have to be creative You can't just be put as there are some who can do that, but the majority you're creative You can't be like stifled by a classroom No, it was crazy the minute they would tell me you have to do this, note has to come after that, I'm like, it does not. It's music.

What do you say? It has to do this. But that was it was more of a jazz based thing. And that's a whole different mindset. But even to get accepted into Berklee, that's a huge feat. That just goes to show what kind of musician you are, though. Because I think they said that it's

like a 54% acceptance rate to even get into there now. Wow, that's amazing. That's great. Yeah. Then it wasn't like that it was brand new but yeah you know it's it's all good and it is a very good school and they've I actually got an honorary doctorate from them so really pisses the rest of my family off. I love it the wild child gets and gets the doctorate. I love that. the black sheep turns into the goat. There you go. There you go. I've never heard that.

Yeah. That's why I love it. I stole it. It was a meme. It was a meme and I was like, I relate. So I just stole it. How did you define your sound? Because you have such a raspy, just bluesy,

just your voice is just so amazing. Well, I sang from the from the time I was 13 Yeah, did you have that bluesy Ness and that rasp even at 13? well, I I Played in country bands first even though I didn't that wasn't my first choice of music I listened a lot a lot to it. I you know your classic stuff But I would sing all those songs and they're all very throaty, very full,

you know, the Tammy, Ynet, and even Linda Ronstadt that's sort of singing like that. And I'd listen to Gladys Knight, I'd listen to Aretha and I'm like, you gotta sing from here. And I guess I've always sort of had this voice because I do remember the choir teacher I also went to I'd go play in the bars and then I go to church on Sunday I love that that's what we rock and roll angel baby there you go and but I would sing in the choir and she used to put me in the very

back because she'd say I had the weirdest voice oh so so it's kind of it's a good thing though. It's good. I'm very grateful for my voice. But I think it's- I bet she fucking ate shit when she saw you winning Grammys. There's been a few of those. There's been a whole, I've got many of those.

I'm good there. But it's just something that has developed and I've worked on it and it's sort of a week. It sounds like I drink a lot of whiskey and smoke a bunch of cigarettes. I love it. I write like that, I've written songs and I'm smoking cigarettes and drinking, but I don't.

Yeah. I never did. Did you maintain your sobriety even all through? Alcohol was never a problem with me. Childhood and like teenage. One, because I saw my mom. Right. And I saw my father who didn't drink.

And I said, I wanna be like dad. I just, that's, I tend to think that children go where it's warm, you know, and that was warm. And I'd play at 13, 40, 50 and I'd see these people get drunk and I'm like, well, that's stupid. And nothing attractive about it. It held nothing attractive. I'd see people get all sloppy and stuff

at the end of the night and fights, oh my God, I'd, you know, beer bottles thrown and hiding behind the organs so the chairs don't get you know I've you know I've saw a lot. I could only imagine that such a young age and the bars back then were just crazy. Yes. They were not very politically correct. Oh no there's nothing like that about there but again I always felt safe my father was there every single night. I love that we love dad. Is dad still alive? No I lost lost dad at 30. It was really really difficult. Oh my god. I just lost my dad in May so I can only imagine how that goes. Yeah, it's brutal. But they're always here.

Yeah. He's been there. 30 years he's been there. For sure. I've never seen more fucking butterflies. I'm like Bill, I get the damn point. I got it. I know you're here. So moving on from Berkeley, how old are you then when you start venturing out and you got your first record deal when? Because I know you dropped your first album in 1988. When was the space in between there that you got signed? So I finally went back to Kansas after Boston, made enough money, played at a restaurant,

Granada Royale, hometown, played in the lounge, made enough money to buy a car, got a car, drove to Los Angeles in 1982. So I was 21 years old and LA in the 80s was magnificent. It was great. Tell me about it. It was magnificent. Because I got to grow up with the Hollywood too in the 80s and the 90s and it was like so you know as a child seeing that. It was a drama Queens heaven. It was theater. It was yeah we're gonna wear our hair so weird, we're gonna try to do everything weird and against, until it became the style, you know, until everyone's doing it, you know.

I remember. That's where they got the nickname Holly Weird. Yes, you know, we would shave the side of our heads, and you know, cause I went in with the lesbian crowd, you know, the gay crowd, the deep, you know, and we're just the weirdest our heads and you know because I went in with the lesbian crowd you know the gay crowd that yeah deep you know and we're just we're just the weirdest ones ever you know we're we were the first ones to go to the Salvation Army's and get the vintage clothing and stuff like that you know no that was back when you could walk in and find amazing yeah that you

think why would someone throw this away so we we were living that and I loved it and I got really deeply into the whole lesbian world because I ended up playing lesbian bars. So you played like the gay circuit. Oh yeah. There wasn't even a gay circuit back then. Because I know in Vegas they had one. There was like a whole little circuit that you could go and just they called it the fruit loop. Yeah. But it was like they said it in the most endearing way, you know? Of course. So I didn't know if Hollywood had one of those too.

No, we didn't have a fruit loop. But we have a lot of fruits and nuts. But no, these were just like the bars. One was in Long Beach. I love Long Beach. Yeah, and it had just opened. But I ended up playing a place in Pasadena and Long Beach and hardly ever in LA because there wasn't a lot of live music scene. But I had created these there. They weren't looking for work. I

actually was there on a date and went and saw a piano in the corner and said, hey, do you have music? They said no no that came with the steakhouse that used to be here but you want to you know play at night and so they let me I created these jobs because there was nobody making money in Hollywood everyone was playing for free. Wow. And so I played for four years in these bars and I thought how am I ever gonna be signed in a lesbian bar? No one's ever gonna see me but slowly the wife who who was a soccer coach, the girls brought her in, you got to hear this girl, and then the wife tells the husband who's a manager, a music manager, manage bread and whatever, he comes down he's like well and this is 1983 and he sticks with me for well we ended up working together

for 30 years but he said look I don't know what's happening but I believe you have a great talent I think you can do this and he's he even said he goes stay in the lesbian bars I will bring the people to you you're making money right you're making a living you can pay your rent and every single record company over those four years came out to see me. Wow. And they would go, like Warner Brothers brought out all the tables and there'd be, I don't know whether it was because they were surrounded by lesbians or what it was, but they would always know then say, oh, we don't hear a hit and they never knew.

And it wasn't until 1986, I'm playing in Long Beach, and a producer guy who would try to get me a deal with A&M knew Chris Blackwell. Chris Blackwell owned Island Records. He discovered Bob Marley. He brought Bob Marley to the world. He was from Jamaica. He was this eccentric, rich, son of the Blackwell Soups or something, and Jamaican, and he brought you to Robert Palmer. He was just a great music guy. And he walked into the bar, heard four songs, and said, I don't know why you're not signed, and signed me right there.

What were record deals back then? Because I know they're so different now. Like, what did they offer you? you? Am I allowed to ask that? Yeah, let me see if I can remember the first one. Because I'm fascinated with the inner workings of how that is. Oh yeah. Because I mean, you've seen the music industry change so much. I sold 25 million albums and Island Records still say I owe them money.

Yeah. Wow. That's how bad the record company. But they've forgiven it at this point. It's like, oh, stop it. What do you mean? The record deals back then were crazy. Yeah. No, it's you didn't even your lawyers would just go, you know, because they didn't have to sign you. There was so much music. They weren't like, they were doing you a favor and you knew that you had to get through this door or you would, there was-

You're pretty much signing. No, I don't want to say signing your life away, but you're signing your, the rights to yourself just so that you can for a while. So that company will blow you up and take all the money from it, but you will get the fame. Yes. And that's, I kind of realized that. And I had a good manager who told me, me who said Look, you know, it's not about your records Don't even think about that because that really doesn't exist It's about your publishing because you write then I can make the money from the publishing. That's

When you see an artist who doesn't write their own stuff Who who is who doesn't really like to perform? They're not gonna they're gonna be around for a while because performing is your bread and butter. And that, I started, you know, I'd already been playing these bars and clubs, then I made a record and I went out and played more bars and clubs,

and then it just grew from there. And I would not trade that for the world. For the first, my first album came out in 1988 and I played everywhere. I played Europe and Australia and all these places because the first album did well. So you traveled everywhere after you dropped your album. I'm gonna look at my notes real quick

because there was something really cool that I realized with these albums that you dropped. So you dropped, you know, May 2nd, 1988, you dropped your first album and then you had a hit, Bring Me Some Water, that was nominated for a Grammy. But then you go on to drop two more albums, another album gets nominated for Grammys, right? And then you win a Grammy award. Yeah. That's insane. And your first three albums, you get a Grammy award. Like, that's insane.

That really surprised me because it wasn't, I didn't even get, a lot of people think I won for best new artists, but I didn't get that. I wasn't even nominated for that. It was back when they had a category called best female rock vocal. They don't have that anymore. They should though. I know. But, um, first I, yeah, I was nominated. I was nominated each, I've been nominated 17 times.

That's crazy. But still, that's crazy. It was great because my career really went from here to huge. I went from selling 60,000 albums to like almost a million after the Grammys, because the Grammys had that large of a reach. And it was because, not because I was nominated, but because I performed. And it was a very special year. It was 1989. And Tracy Chapman performed. Sinead O'Connor performed. Oh my goodness. I performed. My manager actually strong-armed the producers into letting, they wanted to mash all our songs up. And he said, are you kidding? This is such a strong year for women.

You've got to let them have their thing. And they let us each sing our songs by ourselves. It was really powerful Grammys. That's amazing. I didn't win, but I performed. It's all right. You were there, baby. You had your foot in the dirt. We actually just got to see Tracy Chapman at the Grammys perform with Luke Holmes. And I was like,

I was, that was the highlight of my night was to get to see her perform. Cause you know, it's such a rarity these days. Beautiful song. Oh, just so good. I was just like, I was so thankful to be there in that moment because it was just really magical. I loved it. Guess what month it is Mimi? It's October. And you know what that means? True crime baby. True crime is my favorite. For the next four weeks we are going to be covering all different sorts of true crime stories and the podcast just gets turned into just so much fun. It's our favorite time of year. It really is. Yeah.

As you can see, we're on the tour bus. So we are making it work in very small working conditions. We made it feel very homely with our decorations. Yep. I love it. I like it. It's fricking vats. It's fricking vats.

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slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan. Additional taxes, fees, and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for details. I'm so excited. Well alright so we just got done doing a meet and greet. It was so much fun. We are in, where are we? Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, baby. And we are just smack dab in the middle of tour coming in hot, coming in hot baby. It's been a brutal month. Yeah. We had a day off yesterday and we got to spend it at the beach, but someone was sick.

I almost died because I took tri-zepatide this week and we'll talk about that on another podcast, but we're just talkingess. We just went through that. Yeah. Well, I didn't tell my whole story though. So on another Ask, Tell, Confess, I'll definitely tell you guys the whole story of what's happening. But anyways, so who are we talking about today? So today, this is actually a recent case that, I mean, how recent really was this? It's very recent like within what the last year I think. Yeah um Carly Gregg has been on everyone's For You pages I'm sure because that video I mean you never really get the amount of video that this has like I'm when I dove into this case the amount

of security footage that she did not take care of no it was crazy I was shocked so we've got home footage this happened because she was 14 when it happened and she was 15 when she got convicted March 19th so March 19 2024 this just happened this is so fresh yeah this just happened and there was a lot to this case that I didn't know via TikTok So once we actually dove into it and learned about it, I was shocked I feel like it changed my mind on a couple things. I feel like this is gonna be interesting Yeah, it's definitely interesting because you and I disagree we do I feel like I sense a child who just wants to be accepted by people around her.

Yes. Like somebody who feels like she's never been accepted into one peer group. And that being she is also much younger than her peers at that time. She did become romantic with a fellow student and they really felt the mom really felt like she shouldn't be. I mean, she's at this point, she's like, what? 12, 13. Yeah. You shouldn't be romantic with anybody. Anybody. Granted, my first kiss was when I was 12, but still.

Yeah. What was your first kiss? They're probably about the same. Yeah. Yeah. I was young. Oh, yeah. I didn't go tongue right away. James at the bus stop. At the bus stop. At the bus stop, yeah. Oh wow.

Interesting, mine was on my friend's bed. God, you're a little hussy. I was. You're a freaking hussy. Was it just kissing? He just kissed me, yeah, his name was Trevor. Trevor, Trevor sounds like a cute boy. I feel like all the cute boys' names were Trevor.

Yeah, his name was Trevor. He was like my first real boyfriend. Oh. Anyways, sorry, babe Jason's over there editing this like what? So can't believe she kissed somebody at 12 before me Carly was placed on anti-psychotics and which Anti-psychotics when you're 11 or 12 your brain is still. And you guys know how I feel about putting children on medication.

Do I think that there are some exceptions to the rule? Absolutely. Do I think people, some people really need it? Absolutely. But I also feel like a child's mind is still forming. It's still, you know, you're growing, you're going through so many hormonal changes. Like you are giving a child anti-psychotics. You do not know how they're going to react in that child's brain. Yeah, no, literally. And what effects

good and bad is going to have. You're trying to do it just for the good, but like, man, there's so many bad side effects. So many. And I think that's what we actually ended up seeing happen because she was on different anti-psychotics. And and at some point the doctors were basically like we don't know what else to do and that's sort of if you guys know anything about Lexapro, Lexapro is one of those drugs I truly feel like a doctor gets to a point where they're like I don't know what else is going to help so we're going to just throw Lexapro at it and hope this just takes care of whatever problem you have. They put you on Lexapro, didn't they? No, I

never went on Lexapro. No, I almost refuse because it's like it was in discussion, but it was in discussion with other medications. Lexapro is something I never wanted to put myself on because of the side effects and changes I've seen within people and I do feel like they're permanent changes. Yeah, I feel like that truly alters your brain and it makes you almost unhuman, which is what we saw with Carla super numb like Unemotional exactly. Yeah, and there were some medications that I remember being on when I was on antidepressants

Which made me feel like that so I could not imagine Even close to imagine what she went through because I know what that numb feeling feels like I feel like this is a little girl who was screaming out for help and didn't know how to get it. And she just became a product of her environment. Absolutely. And you know, I don't want to say that I sympathize with her, but I mean, she's a child, dude. How many of us made severe mistakes when we are granted, we did not kill people. No know and that's not right at all But you know they switched her to this Lexapro and then five days later what happens? Yes She kills her mother only five days prior was this new medication introduced and within those five days

I can guarantee you she never saw anyone to see how she was feeling Those people throw these medications at you and are like well We'll see what happens in a month. Yeah, I know in those five days. You did not go see a doctor I know in those five days. You did not get checkups Nothing day of the murder You know everything was normal that day. I think They had just gotten home from school. Was that what it was? Yeah, so that she had taken her like a completely normal day

because they both went to school together. Mom worked there. And the dad leaves shortly after the stepdad right leaves shortly after them in the morning and everyone who interacted with them at school that day were like, it was a normal day. Yeah, like everything was normal. And you know, when they got home, Carly went to go walk the dogs. Ashley, her mom, uh, did a check of her room like she normally does. And she did a check of her room that day because a friend had snitched on Carly and told the

mom that day that they were concerned for her because she had began, you know, dabbling in vapes and like was becoming an addict. Like she had to smoke weed every day. She had to have the vapes and all that stuff. So while Carly was out walking the dogs, that was her mom's opportunity to go through her room. She ended up finding four vapes, weed cartridges too, I believe. Right. And so yeah, it's like that. Yeah. So when her mom was going through her room, uh, Carly walks in on her mom searching her bedroom and found that her mother had found all of her stuff.

And I understand how enraging that is as a child because my stepmom used to go through my shit all the time. And it's like, you just feel like you have no privacy. So I guarantee she was just fucking livid. She was just like, does this woman ever fucking leave me alone? So after that had happened. And Carly's mom was done searching a room.

Carly went into her mom's room, which kind of surprises me because where was her mom at that she could go in her room? I'm sure still in Carly's room. OK. Yeah. So while her mom is still searching her room, because she said she was they were kind of in an argument at that point. You know, and it happened so fast. So while, while Ashley's still doing Carly's room, Carly goes to her mom's nightstand where her mom keeps a 38 special and you can see her on camera and Jason will, we'll insert

the video here for everybody. You can see Carly walk into her mom's bedroom and then she walks out of her mom's bedroom hiding the gun behind her back. So obvious you guys. What is that? Like that tells me that she wasn't crazy because she knew that there was cameras in the house and she knew to hide the gun. I would think that if you had lost your mind and you were kind of crazy, granted I understand she's probably going through

a roller coaster of emotions coming off anti-psychotics, going onto Lexapro, yes, and probably numb to everything and not thinking in her right mind, but she wasn't so crazy enough to not realize that there was cameras watching her. Yeah. We'll get to that part. So Carly walks by the cameras, like we said, with the gun behind her back. And by this time, Ashley, I think Carly had walked around like the kitchen or something

like that too. And by this time, Ashley had gone back into her room and she walks into her mom's room and just cold blooded shoots her in the face three fucking times. Yep. During the trial, some of her friends even testified that she was on numerous drugs too. So you have to think this girl's taken anti-psychotics, she's taking Lexapro and she was on numerous drugs too. So you have to think this girl's taken antipsychotics She's taking lexapro and she's on various drugs, which we don't know what they are But especially like in the vapes, you don't know what you're getting these days. No these kids I know Bailey's had kids overdose at her school just from hitting a vape, you know

So it's like you don't know where this girl's mind really was. Yes. She was cold. Yes. She was borderline calculated with some of the things she did, but it was also a crime of passion, which makes it so weird. There's like just a smorgasbord of- It's a 50-50 for me. You definitely planned some of it,

but in the other sense of it, I'm like, are you really that stupid? Yeah. So with all the footage and the testimony, they ended up sentencing her to life in prison for murder without parole life in prison for attempted murder without parole plus 10 more years for tampering with evidence, which what's the tampering putting the towel over her mom's face and who knows what else she could have probably, you know, move the

mom's body or something. Like if she was in there for a while, she definitely was within the crime scene. So she was doing something. Yeah. Yeah. So after the, after her sentencing, the stepfather spoke out and he had a statement. So let's read what the stepfather had to say. He said, I am ashamed. I'm embarrassed. I'm angry. I'm upset. And I'm very sad. I loved Ashley smiley too. We were married for almost a decade and yeah, he didn't comment about anything else. He would think that he would comment on telling her I love her during the trial. Yep, I'm just skimming

through this. Yeah, that's all he said. That is so strange to me. I would, I am very anxious to see how this plays out. This does play out because there is bound to be more evidence that gets released to the public once all of this becomes public. I would love to see more about, you know, him taking the stand versus, you know, her taking the stand. He did take the stand. I mean, like just it's very interesting what evidence. I want to know what happened. I want to know what happened at home. Like, let's go through

those phone records. Yeah, let's go through those fucking counseling therapy sessions because Lyle and Eric Menendez confided in their therapist about the rapes and stuff like that. But she didn't go to therapy for long. It literally says that she went very temporarily and then the mom never followed back up on it. Yeah. So do we think that the mom never followed back up on it

or did Carly reveal something that the mom didn't like? Today is gonna be fun because I got my boy JD Delay in the house. Baby, what's going on? What's up, sis? How you doing? Dude, I'm so good. I'm so happy to have you here. I'm so stoked to be here. I almost like bleached my hair to be here to fit in. The beard, the beard. No, I can't do the beard. The beard's sacred. Why are men like that with their beards? So it's the male push-up bra. Like, you can't see my undefined, unchiseled jawline.

I'm not Lauren Bradley under here, so I have to have the beard. I feel like you guys all say that about your jawlines. And then when you shave them off, some of you guys have really good chins and really good jawlines. Is that like an insecurity with men? Is there jawlines in their chins?

I mean, I think so. Like, uh, you know, I've classically throughout my life struggled with my weight. So, you know, there'll be a period of time, uh, you know, if I'm not on with my fitness where I would have a little bit of a double chin and you know, it just looked really pronounced on me. I felt like I looked like a turkey. So, you know, the beard really comes in in the clutch, but I'm doing halfway good about my weight right now

and everything, but it's always a struggle. It's like a sliding scale. As soon as I started bodybuilding, I got body dysmorphia. I have, I have swolorexia. I always think I'm smaller than I am or- Is that a real thing? Oh yeah. Wow.

Bodybuilding will ruin your self image issues. I was talking with my girl Jessica about this because she does bikini comps, and we were talking about it last night. And I was like, I already have an eating disorder. If I was competing like how you guys do, like in those competitions, or doing any sort of bodybuilding, I would fucking tear myself apart more than I already do. Oh, yeah. That's a crazy thing to get into.

What makes people want to get into the bodybuilding aspect and do those competitions and stuff? I mean, for me, it just became an addiction that sort of like I did a replacement addiction. When I first got out of prison, you know, I started hitting the gym real hard and I met a dude that was a bodybuilding coach. He had a whole team of just amazingly built people and I didn't really know what I was doing on a major level. So I went up to the biggest, gnarliest, like best chisel dude there.

And I asked him, I said, hey, I don't know what I'm doing, man. Can you just give me a couple of tips? And he's like, come work out with this brother. What people don't realize is that those people that are serious about bodybuilding, they're the kindest people. Like they can be so intimidating,

but he just took me under his wing. And it really just became a replacement addiction They're the kindest people. Like they can be so intimidating, but he just took me under his wing. And it really just became a replacement addiction that really helped me to stay out of trouble for a really long time. I'm sure people are like, okay, what's Bunny doing? It's true crime. Why do we have JD here?

So you and I met pretty much online because you have gone to bat for my husband a lot and for me, and we really, really wanna just give you your flowers and tell you that. Thank you. And that we appreciate that. As a matter of fact, my husband is at a Titans game right now. And he's like, you want to go? And I was like, no, I can't. I have a podcast today. And he's like, oh, who's it with?

And I was like, JD Delaney goes, the prison, dude. And I was like, yeah, he goes, I fucking love him. And I was like, I didn't know that. He's like, yeah, dude, he's like, I want to meet him. And I was like, OK, well, you I fucking love him. And I was like, I didn't know that. He's like, yeah, dude. He's like, I want to meet him. And I was like, OK, well, you know, stop by the studio on your way back from the game. So he's making it a point to come here because he wants to see you. Yeah. Huge. He loves you. He his music has gotten me through such dark times in my life

when I was in early recovery, where I didn't love myself at all in any way, shape or form. You know, like addiction kills. And I listened to him when I was trapping, when he was doing early recovery, where I didn't love myself at all in any way, shape or form, you know, like Addiction Kills. And I listened to him when I was trapping, when he was doing trap raps and everything. But Addiction Kills was such a defining album for me, just cathartically, like as far as music being medicine that got me through dark times. And he's just stayed being a staple of, you know,

my go-to when I need support and therapy through music. So I was a 20-year career criminal and drug addict. All of my crimes were drug-fueled crimes. I've never been arrested sober. And, you know, I think it all started, I was sexually abused when I was young. So a lot of my content is going after sexual predators. A lot of the things that I've done in my life has, uh, I don't ever want to blame my actions on anything else, but I feel like there were two separate paths and I went down a path and eventually I had to realize that I was using what

happened to me as a permission statement for me to continue acting in horrible ways. You know, ways that hurt myself, ways that hurt the people that loved me, ways that hurt the community around me. You know, I was given an opportunity by a judge when I was facing a significant amount of time to be able to go to a treatment center, and that treatment center changed my life. That judge changed my life. He had no reason to have any faith in me. I just got busted with an ID printer. I was printing out credit cards.

We had counterfeit money. Oh, you were a scammer. Well, so, you know, I originally went to prison for stealing cars. I was a pretty prolific car thief back then, and I hated it. I hated that, you know, this was it was a crime where I was, you know, taking things from other people that were hardworking people. I always had this stupid justification in my mind that, oh, there's insurance,

but it was the bullshit that I told myself to be able to do the things that I knew were wrong. When I was doing credit card fraud, I was going after pharmaceutical company representatives. So I was stealing from pharmaceutical companies. I'd seen what they'd done with the opioid epidemic and I'd lost so many friends. And I just found another justification.

It's like, I'm not stealing from people. I'm stealing from these evil corporations. The Secret Service granted me a little perspective. They put me on my face. SWAT team and Secret Service grabbed me in Florida for that. And I got charged with organized fraud, counterfeiting. I ended up, they came at me later with sales of methamphetamines.

They had a controlled buy on me from one of my best friends. Should have listened to my dog. My dog never liked that person. Only person she never liked. So they were snitching on you. Yeah, well, you know what? I was doing scumbag stuff. And it is what it is. That person today is clean and sober.

And they work in the recovery industry. And I actually was their sponsor for a little bit, even after they did the controlled biome. I'm never one to condone snitching. I don't think you can condone or you can snitch on sex offenders. And I don't think that civilians that aren't involved in the condone snitching. I don't think you can condone or you can snitch on sex offenders. And I don't think that civilians that aren't involved

in the game can snitch, but I don't condone snitching amongst criminals. But I just felt like I had received so much grace that I needed to extend that grace wherever I could. So, plus he'd been like my best friend, you know? And he did- That's beautiful though, that you can forgive somebody for that. Because you know, growing up in the streets, we're taught to not forgive people who, you

know, quote unquote, rat us out and stuff like that. Well, anybody else can judge him for what he did if they want to. I've chosen to let that go. And now I see what the impact that he's having on the world around him now that he's clean and sober. And he's like, literally, he works in a hospital and when people overdose, he's the person who comes and tries to help them, you know, get them into detox, get them into treatment, sober living, sets them up with a program. And I do work a lot in that vein.

You know, that treatment center really gave me the tools because you can never build somebody's house in recovery, but you can offer them the tools so they can put in the work themselves. And they gave me the tools. And today I'm a recovery coach, peer support recovery specialist and a smart recovery facilitator

and I own my own recovery coaching business. And it's doing that work is what feeds my soul. And a lot of the other work that I do, uh, really is what brings in the money so that I can keep doing my outreach to people. I love that. That is such a beautiful testimony. And you have a really big YouTube channel too. Like it's, you have a pretty big online following as well. So

I mean there's a lot of people who support and love what you're doing. Yeah, I've been blessed man. I don't like to think of my my YouTube as a channel. It's a community. It's about every single person who is a part of it subscribed or not just as much as it is me. We support each other in the comments. We love each other in the lives. We cheer for each other's sober comments. We love each other in the lives. We cheer for each other's soberversaries and when people graduate or get new jobs. But it's like 1.2 million.

And I got like 1.6 million on TikTok. TikTok seems to be less personal and more of a battleground, it feels like. But there are some really amazing people I've been able to connect to. So many amazing, yeah. And I hear you on that. It's, I feel like lately, the TikTok has turned into just this crazed cesspool of like, who can expose who and who can hurt people. And really you people need to just love, you know, love always wins. And I just feel like,

you know, it's, um, TikTok just feel like, you know, it's, TikTok can be very, you know, dangerous, but at the same time, it's so beneficial because, you know, I got to meet you through TikTok and like, you know, we've developed our friendship. I got to meet your hot wife over here. So, you know, I'm super excited about our friendship, but are you ready to dive into good old Wade Wilson?

Man, if Wade runs out of haters, my face is on a t-shirt and my mama and my wife are crying. I'm always ready. But before I say that, you said love always wins. I got love wins tattooed on my knuckles. I love that. Which is a profound statement for my life. And also ironic when somebody sees it

right before they catch a cold one for doing something wrong. Yeah, I love that. I love that you're a lover and a fighter because I like to pride myself on being that too. Love is protecting the people that you love. And, and I don't, I don't just believe in protecting the people that I love. I believe in protecting the vulnerable, protecting the innocent, protecting those who can't protect themselves. I didn't get that when I was six years old. So now I like to do anything I can to be that for other people. I hate that that happened to you. I text you that, you know, and I just when I didn't know that about you

until you had texted to me and it just hurt my heart because you know in lieu of the song that just dropped that Jay had like, you know, like and then you tell me that I was just like, oh my God, like this. You don't realize how many people have like, why are we not talking more about this? The fact that 17 million people in three days consumed the song, like that's crazy and could resonate with it. You know, like, it's just really, um, that's a pan, uh, that's an epidemic that we need to, not a pandemic.

That's an epidemic that we need to really start talking about a lot more. I feel like it's just so in the dark and nobody wants to touch on it because it's like, oh, you're not supposed to talk about what happened to you and don't talk about that kind of trauma. But it's like, that's half half these children that are growing up becoming criminals because I was one of them to something happened in their childhood that needs to be talked about. And yeah, I'm sorry that that happened to you and you never deserved that, but look at the man that you are today, you know? Well, thank you. And talking about it is a huge part of the healing process. People need to, it needs to be de-stigmatized, especially for men.

That's why I started talking about it when I was doing public speaking in recovery in Florida. And you know, there's literally never been a time that I've told my story, that I've excluded that. And there's never been a time that I haven't had people come up to me afterwards and say, like, I've never been able to admit to anyone else what happened to me when I was a kid. But seeing you do that, like, I want to tell you. And so I'll take the time with them and sit down and listen. And it's always more than one person in a room full of people. And, you know, especially for men, it's hard to talk about,

but talking about it is what helps you heal and helps you get past it. And until you do that, you're carrying a piece of that person that did that to you with you. Being able to let go of that situation and cast that person out of you is so important for your self healing.

That's where I found self love. Yeah, no, and that's a heavy cross to bear, man, to have to hold that in and not be able to speak about it. Just that creates so much unresolved anger in your soul. And then that unresolved anger in return comes out in other ways. And if anything like that has ever happened to you, please speak up about it because you're not alone.

And people like me and JD and I have been through the same scenario and there's thousands of other people that are with you and sucks that we're in that club together, but it's like, you know what? At least we can make it a family. Zane is joining us on the couch and Brandon is here. What's up you guys? How are you? Thank you for joining us. No, thank you. This was a very interesting experience, especially since I've never been

to Nashville before. Oh, I love it. I love that you guys were willing to come here and sit on this couch and you know, like, I've, I've been talking with JD for the past two hours about the whole entire situation that has happened, the case and all that stuff. And I just think it's so important that the people get to see your faces. And it's like my husband said downstairs, it's like that dude's gonna be locked in a cell

and he's gonna be forgotten about. And what we can do to make sure that the person that we can make sure that isn't forgotten is Diane Ruiz and Christine Melton. So and that's what that's what we want to do here today is just to honor your mom. Brandon would like to talk to you or something like that and I was like yes connect us I would love to speak with him because I was just like I was at this point I had fucking got my self and you know stuck my foot in my mouth and got myself in a world of shit.

And I was just like, how can I fix this? Because I'm the type of person, if I do something wrong, I want to write it. And that's just how it's going to go. And I will go to the fucking ends of the earth until I write it. And then I do want to go back to where we first started and you called it a mistake.

I wouldn't call it a mistake at all if it led us to this point now, because it's always a blessing. I wouldn't call it a mistake at all if it led us to this point now, because it's always a blessing. I mean, there's certain ways that some situations have to be brought up. And if that was to be brought up like that, I wouldn't call it a mistake at all. You know what I mean? I appreciate you so much.

I can say that deeply down. But also I don't want you to feel bad because at the time I'm obviously, I'm very avid on TikTok and it was very popular at the time and I, you know, I scroll and stuff like that. And what you said wasn't, wasn't even bad compared to other things I've seen. It definitely does not cross other lines, you know? Can you guys take me back to when this first happened and you know the the events that happened after. You want me to go first?

For me, I was actually in class, and it was a very interesting like situation because I had no clue like I had absolutely no clue that she even went missing. How old were you? I was 14 in my freshman year of high school. And how old were you? I was 14 in my freshman year of high school. And how old were you, Brandon? Man, I want to say I was 24, almost 25, I would say. Okay. Yeah, and at the time, we were poor.

So we didn't really have like Wi-Fi and stuff like that. And Brandon didn't have cell service. So he was like contacting me through Snapchat. And I was basically like, leave me alone. I'm in the middle of class. What are you doing? Like you're at home. It can't be that important. Right. And he was like, no, I need, um, Scott's number, which is my mom's ex boyfriend or boyfriend at the time. Were you guys close with your mom at this time? Were you guys like in constant contact with her? What was the relationship like?

Yeah, we had dinner with her like that night before. Brandon cooked dinner and we ate with her that night before. And that was literally my best friend in life, my number one best friend. During this time, did you guys feel like something was off or were you guys just thinking that maybe she was like, went to go take a mental health day or something? I was trying to think on the positive side. And I was just thinking, maybe she just wanted to take a mental health day, or she went somewhere. And I guess it was like some midlife crisis.

But I know mom's going to, well, I didn't know that, but I was hoping for her to come back, obviously, because you have us all worried, though. And then when we found out about the true situation is, was very bad though, I guess. Can you guys take me to that moment when you found out what had happened? Exactly when that happened is when we found out

actually Zayn was at school, they- Completely like, for me, I'm a complete workaholic. So I was- I can tell. I was 14 and in my head, I was like, she's coming back. Like dog, there's nothing wrong. I was probably just like blocking it out. Cause I only skipped one day of school.

Like the day she went missing, I skipped the next day, went with them. And then I was like, I gotta go back to school. Like I can't just like disappear obviously because high school is so important. And now you're like that with college. Yeah, basically. So this is a character trait, babe, okay?

Yeah, but like I just went back to school like nothing happened. I was like, because like a lot of my friends since it was like popular on the news and stuff like that, and nobody was really telling me anything. I was just like, dog, this is fine. She's gonna come back. Like, I don't know, maybe she just had a little breakdown. Like, it's okay, you know, it's normal. She's a person, whatever. I go along with my school day.

I'm still going to school and marching band practice. I'm doing everything. And then I remember it was like on a Thursday and I'm still at practice and I start getting spam texts from my friends specifically. And like half of the people are going, I'm so sorry, Zay start getting spam texts from my friends specifically. And like half of the people are going, I'm so sorry Zayn, like that should have never happened. I'm like, what are y'all talking about?

Like she went missing three days ago. Like, I don't know, to me it was like, oh, it's fine. Like, you know, she's going to turn up. It was like denial almost. Yeah, basically. And then I remember my brother pulled up to like pick me up from marching band. And then he's with like my sister-in-law's baby mama

She's driving I go in the back seat and then he comes to send the back seat with me and like I just kind of like freeze You know Yeah I can actually add on that's actually the day that I got into the back of your car and I can actually add on that's actually the day that I got into the back of your car and And then I seen you freeze and then that's when you start wondering and then I don't think I told you until we almost got To the house or when we got to the house No, because it becomes me the moment we started writing. It was the moment that he started driving Yeah, that's the same day then after after we got to the house and we both went and then we both had went into

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Dude, I am so stoked to have you here. This has been a long time coming. I know, we've been talking about this for, I mean, months. Yeah. Months. Maybe it might even be a year. That's what I was going to say. It might be.

Yeah. So yay. I'm so happy it's finally happening. Dude, you are an icon in your own right, dude. You have been around forever. And I don't think, like, I don't feel like the new TikTok people really know, like, your whole lore. I love you.

You have, like, a lore to you. And it's like, people are just like, oh, Kristin de Cavallari just came on the scene. I love you. You have like a lore to you. And it's like, people are just like, oh, Kristin DeCavallari just came on the scene. I've seen comments like that. And I'm like, and they're like, who is she? And I'm like, how do you guys not know? I mean, I've always said, I feel like the first, the first half of my life was just like thing after thing.

Just like, it was just a lot. And now I'm hoping that I'm setting the second half, second half of my life up to just be fucking chill. I just like relax and be able to just enjoy my life. Do you think all that trauma that you had was why you were so fierce on Laguna Beach and the Hills? I think it definitely played a role. And I think always being the new girl

and moving around constantly, I was able to be put in any situation and it was like sink or swim and I figured out how to survive, you know, and how to make the most of it. So I think I naturally sort of had this tough exterior, this like take no shit attitude, but I also was able to figure out any situation you could put me in. So I think the combination, yeah, is what made me this like, you know, fucking firecracker. I love that though. And that's what you were known for.

And that's literally why people fell in love with you because, you know, back then we didn't have a lot of like strong personalities like that on TV. Well, I got a lot of hate for it at the time. And now it's interesting because people are like, wait a minute, maybe Kristen wasn't the villain. I'm like fuck, 20 years later, I'll take it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I, you know, and I don't want to talk shit about her, but Lauren always rubbed me the wrong way. And I was just like, I don't know. Like, it just seems a little too manufactured. Like, it just didn't seem real to me. But you always came across as authentic. Thank you. Do you feel like, because you were always the, you know,

fierce one and the one to speak up and the one to fight back, do you feel like people didn't really get a sense of who you really were because of that? 100%. And I think that was the thing. Laguna Beach showed one side of my personality. And I mean, you know, we're all, we have so many different sides to our personality.

And so, you know, people, cause I do have a very soft side too. And of course, as I've gotten older and became a mom and everything, I've really honed in on that. But even back then, I mean, I did as well. And I still have that that, you know, take no shit side to me. But when that's the only thing they're showing, yes, I mean, you can't really get to know

someone. And it's interesting because Steven and I actually did a Back to the Beach podcast. It was a rewatch podcast and we went back and it was the first time I had seen it since it aired. And at the time, I remember being like, MTV fucked with me so hard and I thought it was unfair. And then going back and rewatching it and talking to everybody, I was like,

oh no, they fucked with everyone. Like they did, what they did to me, they did to every single cast member, even Lauren, they only showed one side of her personality to Steven, the same thing. And so I walked away from that being like, it just it was what it was. And I was so mad about it for so long. But it was a nice way to kind of like, wrap that up and be like, it wasn't just me. I wasn't the victim in that situation.

Like it happened to us all. That's, that's actually a really cool perspective, though, because most people would internalize that and be like, I was picked on and victimized Yeah, and you were like no actually every they did it to everybody Yeah, so you guys didn't have any control of what was getting put out there nothing Nothing, I feel like reality TV back in the day did that to everybody like you signed your life and rights away as a human and What they wanted to present you as was what you were gonna be known as yep I know.

Because it was one of the first reality shows, so we didn't know what we were signing up for. And even things like they would have us just record wild lines, just lines, and they could splice them in wherever they wanted. And so in a sense, I mean, we kind of had an idea of what they were doing because we're like, well, obviously I didn't say this,

but you're having me say it into a microphone so you're clearly gonna use it somewhere. So we knew what they were doing because we're like, well, obviously I didn't say this, but you're having me say it on into a microphone. So you're clearly going to use it somewhere. So we knew that they were manipulating it to a degree. Yeah. But until we actually saw it, we had no idea what was going on. And you guys were kids. I was 17. Did you guys as parents have any say so in any of that? Yeah, our parents had to sign off on it. My mom had a lot of reservations, but I wasn't living with her at the time. So it kind of didn't matter.

My dad was on board with it. So yeah, I know. Oh, you know what? Look at where you are now. No, it's all good. It's all good. Yeah, I'm happy. I'm happy my mom didn't stop it, you know?

But it was, it was hard to deal with at that age just because it's hard enough being a teenager, you know? And then having your lives being manipulated when it's your real boyfriend, your real friend, it just gets really, just really messy, quite honestly. So was it? How real was it though? Because you know, reality TV back then wasn't quite real. Didn't they give you guys plots and like, or was it? Yeah, it was like, well, so Laguna Beach

was more put us in situations and then kind of see what happens knowing that a particular situation is going to Well, so Laguna Beach was more put us in situations and then kind of see what happens, knowing that a particular situation is gonna probably press my buttons or, you know, this is not the group of people I would normally hang out with kind of a thing. Let's have Kristen's boyfriend go up to this other girl's house, even though they're dating.

So situations that they know is gonna piss us off. But I don't think any show is 100% real. I think it's impossible to have a show. Even if you have cameras on you 24-7, like Jersey Shore, for example, they still have to edit it down into a 42 episode or whatever it is. Yeah, 30 minute episodes for one. Right.

And so there's no way that something can be 100% real you just there's no way to capture we just got some pictures from my best friend who passed away her sister sent me a bunch of pictures of us and there's one of me in there that's like methed out and girl where are my eyebrows i know well i was the same way i had no eyebrows and fucked them up forever now i had to see no your eyebrows look fucking good. Well, they're fucking. Mine are too, but yours, like you have hair. I can't even fucking grow a fucking eyebrow back. Okay, you know what I'm gonna tell you?

Castor oil, do you ever put castor oil on them? I tried it on my belly button and it made me feel weird. I put it in my belly button too. I can't do it, it made me feel weird, so I get scared now. I'm so sensitive. Dude, I rub it all over my stomach. And it works for you?

Do you love it? Yeah, and I put it on my face too. I tried to do the castor oil thing cause I wanted to be like the castor oil girlies too. And it just made me, I woke up the next day. I'm such a sensitive like girly now because of all the fucking shit I did in my past. So like now I can't, it's like I used to fucking snort

eight balls and now I can't even use castor oil. Right? Yeah, it's fucked up. Fuck, it is fucked up. No, it's fucking, it's like I used to fucking snort eight balls and now I can't even use Casper oil. Right? It's fucked up. It is fucked up. No, it's fucking, it's bullshit, dude. You meet Jay. Take me on that journey with you guys as a relationship. So Jay, a year prior, I got a call from my publicist and he said that Jay Cutler wanted

to fly me to Chicago and take me on a date and I didn't know who Jay was. So I Googled him and I was like, I mean, I don't, I was like, whatever, I don't know. So I said- I didn't know who Jay was till he was on your show. I love you. I knew who you were, I didn't know who Jay was. I love it.

But yeah, so I said no. So, okay, fine. So a year later, I was visiting my mom who happened to still live there. And I was going to a Bears pre-season game with my cousin who was Bears obsessed. I totally forgot Jay even asked me out and my mom brought it up and my cousin was like,

what the fuck, you're such an idiot, Jay's the man, you gotta go out with him. So I ended up getting us family passes to meet Jay after the game thinking it was gonna make my cousin's life. I would probably never talk to this guy ever again. And he walked in and I was like, oh shit, he's cuter than I thought he was gonna be. And he- When he asked you out, how did he he's cuter than I thought he was gonna be. And he-

When he asked you out, how did he ask you out? Well, it was through my publicist. Okay, gotcha. So it was never, we never had any interaction. So he walked in, he was really cute. He was very smart because he kind of like won my mom over. I was talking to my mom the whole time. He drove us to our car and then he texted me immediately

and he was like, something about like, well you gotta come back or something. And then I think I came back like a week later and then it was like, that was it. We moved really fast. I love relationships like that though. Granted, you guys have gone your separate ways but I still feel like a moment in time,

that moment in time was what you needed and it was like magical. Yeah, and he was exactly what I was looking for at the time. And again, I mean, I was 23. I think I was a baby, you know, like hindsight is 2020. I don't regret a damn thing, though. I mean, there's so much good that came out of our relationship. And ultimately, not only did I get my kids and it got me out to Franklin, Tennessee and you know, all these great things, but it forced me to figure out my shit and grow up and do the work that I needed to do. And so I'm really thankful for that as well. What would you say was kind of I don't want to use the word downfall because that's heavy,

but what what do you think was part of the reason for the relationship unraveling? So Jay and I always had a tough relationship, even from the very beginning. And I think I'm really careful about what I say, obviously, because we have three kids together. Absolutely. But I think- And we can always cut things out too. Yeah.

I just, I haven't talked about them in so many years. I've like, I made a vow that was like, I'm done talking about him, but I'm happy to talk about it. It's just, I'm trying to think about like the best way to say it because, you know, I think things were just never good. And we tried really hard. I will say like, we really did everything that we could. And ultimately, I had to make a decision of taking care of myself and putting myself first. And especially as a mom and having these three little kids, I really wanted my kids to see me happy and see that I was making myself a priority

and taking care of myself, especially now having a daughter too. I think that's so important. It is so important because I feel like when parents stay together and they're miserable, that causes more fucking trauma for the kids. 1000%. Than just seeing healthy co-parenting.

Yeah, yeah, because what you're teaching your kids then is A, stay in something because you're fucking miserable. Yeah. And B, they have no idea now what a healthy relationship looks like. And it just if you can't be your best self that obviously trickles down to your kids and you take out your hurt and your sadness on your kids. It's just a such a negative toxic environment. Yes. And you know, as soon as I got out of my marriage, I remember even my got out of my marriage,

I remember even my mom saying to me like, shit, I had no idea how bad it was. But like, I was a shell of who I was. And immediately I got my spark back. And I love that for you. Yeah. When you say that it was bad, was it just polar opposites? Or was it arguing? Like, what was it that was so bad? It was just, it was toxic, you know? And I think because I hadn't done the work with, on myself and- You were a baby too. I was a fucking baby. Like I didn't know any better.

How old was he when you guys got together? He was, I think he had, I think he was 28, 27 or 28. Okay, so you guys were both young. We were both young. That's young love. I feel like the first, like the first love or the first young love like that where you get married or something like that is like toxic.

You guys don't know how to fucking navigate life. I know how I was at fucking 23. I'm sorry to anybody whose paths had to cross with mine in that era of my life because I was just a shit show. Like you shouldn't be allowed to get married before age 30, quite honestly. Literally. You shouldn't be allowed to. You before age 30, quite honestly. Literally.

I agree. You shouldn't be allowed to. I agree. You don't know who the fuck you are at that age. Today, my girl Erica Mina is in the house, baby. Get it off. Looking fly as ever too. Thank you, babe.

I was like, I'm seeing the baddest, I gotta come correct. And I don't do interviews. Yeah. I hate them because they end up being just clickbait and people kind of, you know, yeah, I don't know.. Yeah. I hate them because they end up being just clickbait people kind of, you know. Yeah. I don't know. They had never been like my friend, I feel like.

I've noticed you do a lot of interviews with men. They're never going to give you a chance. You know what it is? When I first started in the very beginning, to put myself out there, I was just doing like, glad TV, like these weird little outlets in the beginning that social media wasn't that big, but I wanted people to kind of like dive into me and it never turned out that way.

So over the years, I was just like, I'm just not going to do and plus I'm on reality TV. So it's like, what can I really say in an interview that you guys kind of don't see edited anyway on TV? So yeah, but yeah, I don't do interviews, but this one I felt like I had to. First of all, such a big. Like your whole journey, like I know what's up with you.

Um, I feel like me have a lot in common too. Like you're my buddy. Yeah. Like we could go into it, but yeah, like you definitely, like we have, you know, that loss of a companion, you know, kind of story that we have, you know, that loss of a companion, you know, kind of story that we can compare. And just I just love how you're just such a ride or die. You kind of own up to who you were, what you were.

And kind of like this is who I am now. And you just kind of taking people on your journey and now they have no choice but to fucking respect you for it. And I feel like it's so similar to like me. I kind of was that you deserve your flowers. And that's what I was telling you when you first and thank you for that. I appreciate thank you for seeing me for where I am now and what I what I've been through and where I'm at.

I really appreciate that. And that means the world to me. But you also deserve your flowers because girl, to be as relevant as you are in this world for as long as you have been, and you've literally clawed your way up and we're gonna get into your story because I'm sure a lot of people who listen to my podcast might not know your backstory and stuff like that.

But just really why I wanted to do this more than ever. I'm like, new audience, new fresh minds, like people get to tap in, and then they can kind of do their homework on everything that comes with me after. But yeah, I've kind of been through a lot and just out there for a long time. You have literally, you've been a video vixen,

you've been a reality TV star. Now you're dabbling in music and becoming an actress. It's like, it's just so inspiring to see somebody who's came from where you've come from also. And pretty much we're like, you know what? I'm a force to be reckoned with, deal with it. And I love that about you. That's always been your attitude.

You don't hide who you are. I love that you wear your heart on your sleeve. I just feel like you're just human. And if the world doesn't love you, they secretly fucking wanna be you. So moving on from King, we're going to get into the subject that everybody wants to talk about and everybody wants to hear from you on because you haven't spoken about this at all. I've been speaking about it just because of love and hip hop. Right.

But most recently, there was the most recent. Yeah, there was just something that was put out there for monetization and clout and, you know, for a weird agenda of a certain individual. Who's now a YouTuber. Yeah, all of a sudden, a YouTuber. We were researching last night, and I was just like, this is fucking weird, but to each their own, I'm never gonna knock anybody's hustle.

It's gotta be a midlife crisis. At 43 years old, you wake up one day and wanting to be a YouTuber. Girl, let me break out my glasses because I've got so many notes on this. So for those of you who don't know, you actually married Safaree, yes, you married Safaree who is Nicki Minaj's ex. That's pretty much what people

know him for as being Nicki Minaj's ex. You can see her whole demeanor change talking about this man. Take me on the courtship because you said somewhere that he courted you for about three years. Oh my God. That's crazy. I didn't want him. Right. My intuition knew what was up. Right. I did not want him. I never found him attractive in that way.

And it's funny because it wasn't until I actually started dating him that I even got like the real of like his relationship with Nikki. So when he started to kind of come after me, I knew he was her ex, but I didn't know the real details of it. Coming from the Terror Squad angle of my life, I always was a Remy fan and stuff like that. And don't get me wrong, like who doesn't sing a Nicki Minaj song?

But I was never like tapped in. Like, cause you remember she's from Brooklyn, I'm from the Bronx. So you kind of growing up in New York, you side and more gravitate to the rapper that's from your barrel. Right. And obviously-

And not everybody has to like what everybody likes. Well, that's from your barrel. Right. And, um, and not everybody has to like, well, it's not even that. It was just, I was with Raul. So, right. Remy was my, my go-to, right? No, like that was who I knew. That's who I sang. And I do know that, um, Nikki for years had like these bomb ass mixed tapes that even friends of mine would like dive into and know every word. So I knew of her. I just was never like really super familiar with her music because of the world that I was kind of in. So yeah, I didn't know the details of their relationship or that, you know, whatever until we kind of... But anyway, I... So you guys met on the I wasn't how you said that I wasn't put onto game of the kind of individual that was all I knew was that he just gave me corny. He gave me player he gave me

suspect, you know, like, it wasn't the fur coats that threw you off. You know what? I don't even think he had the fur coats when I kind of met him and he was kind of going at me. He had the fake ruby gold necklaces. And I was engaged to Bow Wow the first time I ever came past with this individual. So that's how far back. We were at this strip club and they were actually filming for like this reality show at the time

And I had went to be in support of my friend. Sia. That was a part of it. Anywho he was dating an associate that I knew at the time she comes in with him and He she introduces me to him and he literally was like you're Erica Mena He, she introduces me to him and he literally was like, you're Erica Mena? Damn, you're so beautiful in person. Wow. Mind you, he's with this other woman. Just disrespectful from the gate.

So that to me was like my first impression of him. Like you are just disrespectful. You're thirsty. You're just not like, not that type of guy. Yeah. Anywho, that was my first intro to him. And I from that day, he. For like three years, this man just, when I tell you, did everything in his power

until finally my publicist, he hired. Purposely because he knew she was my publicist. And I didn't find this out until years later, but he would offer her money just to kind of, you know, get to me. So yeah, I was tracked down and he was persistent. And he did that. You had had previous relationships on like love and Hip Hop and stuff like that.

Were you burned from like going through the situation with Sin, going through the situation with Rich Dollars? Was it because you didn't want to have another relationship on camera in that franchise? Well, he wasn't even on Love and Hip Hop. Oh, OK. When he started kind of. OK. OK, gotcha. He wasn't even a part of it. Wow. OK. Yeah. So, yeah, this started like. When I met him,'t even a part of it. Wow. Okay. Yeah. So yeah, this started like

when I met him, he was definitely not on it. Okay. Was it you that brought him in on it? Was it what? Was it you that brought him in? No, I think at one point he just got, you know, tied on money and decided to kind of like go after Nikki baby. Got you. And court her so he can get on it is what happened. Yeah, that's a motive for his everything. I stopped watching Love and Hip Hop after you and Rich Dollaz broke up. Really? Yeah, I was just like...

Me and Rich had a good run, I will say that. I thought you guys were so cute. I would say this, he believed in me, but he was one of those guys that he was easily influenced. Like anybody could tell him anything. So at one point people were like telling him like, she's just using you, blah, blah, blah. Mind you, it's like, I don't have to use you. I'm talented. Like you're a manager.

If you're smart enough, you would see what the fuck is in front of you. And you would, you you would not think relationship and think fucking business. And I still to this day tell them that all the time. I'm like, had you not believed what the fuck people were trying to make you believe, whether it was production or like outside people, me and you probably could have made a killing together

in the business because like one thing Rich at one point had was good tactics on how to, like he helped spiral, you know, spiral Cassie's, you know, career and he's, you know, responsible for a lot of other people. And he was even managing Olivia at one point. But he just believed whatever the fuck people told him. And it started to put a bad taste in his mouth about me. The mother got involved and you know, yeah, it was just weird.

It was like, you know, everyone wanted me to be this person that was using him and it's like, I don't have to use you. I'm that, I'm fucking talented, whether you see it or not. Like this bitch got something going here. Like, I know, but I feel like you guys genuinely had love for each other. Like there was a moment there. We did, but at the same time, he just did a lot of

shysty shit for storyline. Oh. To hurt me. And like, you know, like that's fucked up. Like even with him teaming up with, with, with Sin, it was like, he despised that girl. And then all of a sudden to bring me down, they both, when me and her won the outs,

it was like, they got together. Nicki Minaj say that he was paying for hookers with her credit cards. Before we get into that, can I just, because we are talking on the subject of her, I owe her the biggest apology ever. I owe her apology because, like a lot of us women tend to do when we don't know any better, especially when we're hard, deep rats

warped into the love bombing phases. The red flag that us women tend to ignore when a man sits there and talks to you. Love bombs. About his ex and all the things she did to him. And it's funny how life comes full circle because the same thing he did to her, he's doing to me years later. I remember him pouring his heart out to me

about all the stuff she did to him, showing me videos of her reacting. And at the time, you're in a love bomb. I didn't think to ask, well, what did you do to her? Right. You're just showing me all this stuff that she's doing, how she's reacting, right? Why does this man always have videos of these women reacting?

Exactly. And now mind you, this is a video he was at one point going around, I found out later on, he was going around the industry showing to like around the time he was trying to bring her down when he was lying to people saying that he wrote for her, like literally saying whatever he could to like kind of ruin her career and take her credibility for her real hard earned work. what is the video of? She was chasing him and I won't get into too detail because I don't feel like you know. Yeah. Being that I'm in her shoes now, I feel like she's owed the respect to like I don't.

But come to find out, he had broke the laptop that had her Pink Friday album on it. On purpose. And then videoed her reaction. And of course she went fuck off. Yeah. He's recording it. So rewind fast forward to me being with him. I'm down to the mother partaking and agreeing in these conversations. Oh my God, she's the devil.

Blah, blah, blah. She did all this stuff. Blah, blah, blah. So anyway, I owe this woman an apology because I sat there and allowed him. To. Talk to her about talk about her to me. And from that came me saying things and like defending and vouching for him and speaking up on her in a way that was tacky.

Because at the end of the day, I didn't know the truth. Especially not the truth that I know now. And we do that. A lot of women do that. They get caught up with a man and he's so good to you that you allow him to gossip to you about his ex. You get manipulated. Yeah, and they never tell you what they did.

They just tell you what they did and how crazy she is. And she did this and she did that. That's called reactive. I owe her such an apology because it's so crazy how life, it's not crazy, it's just crazy how life it's not crazy. It's just life, but it comes full circle. It tables always turn everything she has ever said about him is true. Everything that she had went through with him.

I'm going through it worse, you know, like you said, she definitely aired him out for paying prostitutes with her credit card. Yeah. I think well, first of all, he cheated on me going to a parlor and how I found out is completely embarrassing. How did you find out? But before you go into that, I just want to say, I think that is so big of you to apologize to Nikki like that.

Yeah, I do. And I feel like a lot of other people, I feel like anyone who ever sided with him during that time that they broke up, because he was really, like, he taunted her. So not too long ago, before he came at me for the YouTube, he taunted her by going to her concert Can you pull that up for us? Can you put Safari at Nikkia Minaj concert?

Like I think I thought this was the weirdest thing I've ever seen was that you're saying that you're going there to make Because you're proud of her. So why didn't you sit in a box? Yeah, calm cool collective watch the show like a normal person. No, he went there with vlogging everything and then had the nerve to stand, I think in the middle of the stairs so everybody could see he was there. And somebody videoed him.

He went there to make a shit show fucking appearance. He went there to get a headline. A headline and to provoke her knowing she's moved on, she's married, she has a family. Every chance you get to talk about her, you do. It has not stopped since you guys have broken up. Yeah. And he does it every time for clout and attention. Him going to this concert was for one reason

and one reason only. He wanted her to react in some way. Right. We're gonna pull up the clip right now so that you guys can see it. Sorry, we have an ad. No, you're good. Ha ha ha.

Light. Here it is. You're not even in a seat. It looks like he's in the bleachers. Where's, where's he sitting? You could definitely tell he was not a guest. Then you have eight security cause you know, you're not supposed to be there. Right. It's, it's weird. It's definitely, this was weird behavior. And this is the thing. This is what I don't understand. Right. It's it's weird. It's definitely this was weird. And this is the thing.

This is what I don't understand about people. It's like, OK, so first it was her that he taunted for, I guess, subscript subscribers and. Attention for his YouTube, now that he's a new found YouTuber, right? He got the social media viral conversation that he wanted, but it wasn't enough traffic for his YouTube. So now all of a sudden, he wants to speak up on why he's being a deadbeat. He was using this Miami girl character for a storyline, which he confessed he only did because he wanted to prove to me that he didn't need me to be on Love & Hip Hop.

So anyway, he decides to kind of fake like this Miami girl character that's on Miami, Love & Hip Hop Miami. And at that time, he was about six months behind purposely in paying child support. Now, mind you, I'm still in love with hip hop at this point, but I have the kids. He's in love with hip hop in Miami, and he's only 30 minutes away. He wasn't using his weekly parenting time, and he was months, at least at this time, he was like six months behind on paying child support.

Anywho, I'm thugging it. I'm flying with the kids to him from Miami to Atlanta to film and, you know, kind of do what I'm contractually binded to do. Next to you know, it goes viral. He's buying this chick's kids Rolexes. He's literally deliberately buying another man's children Rolexes. And has this whole draw, they have this whole drawn-out birthday party for these kids, right? Mind you this man is six months, right, behind on child support,

hasn't seen the kids, is indulging in this whole storyline that he even admitted he was just doing so that he can prove that he didn't need me to be on love and hip hop. He also said that they've never even had sex, right? Girl, that whole like, I don't know who's worse, him or her when it comes to that whole scenario, like she's just as desperate as he is because I'd be damn if a man who doesn't even have real intentions for me is going to be using my kids as some like as some as some I don't even know what you call it but it's sick on her part. Yeah like pawns like as a mom, you're allowing your kids' first birthday

to be a staged scenario so that it could look like this man is about you when really, in reality, isn't attracted to you. You know what I'm saying? Like, anyway. So it goes viral. Of course I'm going to say something. You haven't seen your kids, like, Anyway, so it goes viral. Of course I'm going to say something. You haven't seen your kids in how much and you're purposely not paying your child support

on time to spite me to financially, you know, be an asshole is what you're trying to do. Right. I don't like that. He's what he does to trigger me. Right. I'm just saying I don't understand how people can't see that he's poking the bear. And even when I was pregnant, he was dating the to me version of of me right for Valentine's Day. He he fills up this girl's small little apartment with flowers. The same thing he used to do with me. Had

didn't bring Pampers like Like literally when I fought for divorce, buying Pampers, buying clothes, none of this was being done. So, when you know your kid's father financially can buy extravagant gifts for these random women after you just had two of his kids back to back and he doesn't even drop off a box of Pampers, who in their right mind is not gonna put that

on child support? That's the reason why Safaree is on child support. Because when I filed for divorce, he never once thought for a second, let me drop off Pampers, let me see if the kids need clothes, what do the kids need in general? Never, never asked what these kids needed. Right. So I knew if it was like this already, it was going to get worse. And it did. So therefore, when it was time

to finalize our divorce, I made it mandatory that child support was implemented. My first kid father wasn't on child support, but he also did what the fuck he had to do. Which is not a bad thing. That's why child support is implemented in the court system. Yeah, but at the same time, if this man... Fuck if we're together or not. These kids are your kids. If he was riding for these kids the way he rides

for whatever woman he's fucking on for the moment, we would be so good. Because regardless to what you, there are baby mamas out there that don't have to talk shit or say anything about their baby daddies. Why? Because they do what the fuck they have to do. There are baby mamas that live a good life of not having to talk ill on their baby daddies whatsoever because these men are doing what they have to do. Not all, but a lot of them do. live a good life of not having to talk ill on their baby daddies whatsoever, because

these men are doing what they have to do. Not all, but a lot of them do. I don't consider you talking ill, you're telling the truth. So are you not allowed to speak your truth? And that's what it's been. And that's why so like a crock of shit how everyone's like, oh, he's been quiet for so long. He's been quiet for so long because he cannot deny anything I have said about him.

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SonoBello.com-bunny. B-U-N-N-I-E. That's SonoBello.com-bunny. up until him randomly now having this new YouTuber found urge where he can edit shit that he started and and stirred up. You know what I'm saying? And let's talk about these videos. Can we bring up these videos, Mimi, that we have of Erica climbing over the fence? That's my girl. Climbing over the fence. That's my girl climbing over the fence. And then, um, also like trying to get into his house. And then the only thing I do have, didn't agree with in here. And I understand that this is where your rage is coming from is the babies are, are seeing all of this. Yeah. That one. Yes. So, okay. So let's break this down. Yeah. What's happening in this clip right here? Okay, so pause, wait, pause, because I'm gonna get to that.

Keep that there because I want to show you I want to tell you this goal. This goes along with the climbing the fence. So anyway, that first initial video, I had went to his house to pick up the kids I had just came back from a work trip, came to pick up the kids. Prior to getting there, he was telling me how he finally had some money for me. So at one of the moments of him trying to get back with me, he came up with this idea of putting the kids in some type of schooling daycare, right? So that we could have more time together to fix

things and build on us without the kids being around. I fell for it. So I did my homework and I ended up finding a Montessori school. Me and him went to the Montessori school, checked it out together. The lady told us how much it cost. He agreed to take on that expense. Come time to pay the school, Safaree had the nerve to tell me, I paid child support, take it out of that. So here I am now, left with this new found expense that I wasn't prepared, prepared to take on.

But this is the route you want to go. You fucking cheap motherfucker. No problem. Oh, you pay for it in child support. Mind you. I mean, I can be the breakdown of that. But anyway, cool. Please do spare us no detail, please. So anyway, I've been taking on this new expense of the kids going to this Montessori school on my own after he told me he would take this on. Now he did this because this is around the time, like after, when it was time for him to pay up, I wasn't trying to fuck on him. So anytime I'm not trying to fuck on him, anything he said he was going to do, he ain't

doing. Him seeing the kids is not even a question. Like, if I'm not trying to fuck on him, or ignore what he did and kind of, you know, go with the flow and just act like we're getting back together. That's always his MO. He doesn't he won't he won't do anything extra outside of child support. And he's damn sure not picking up these kids. That's just what it's been from, from the jump. So anyway, I get to the house and he's damn sure not picking up these kids. That's just what it's been from the jump. So anyway, I get to the house and he's telling me, I got a surprise for you.

And I'm like, what is it? And he tells me he has the money for the school. I get there. I did take a nap, right? I get, cause I live like 30, 40 minutes away. Mind you, just like I said, I just landed. I'm exhausted, so I take a little nap. I get up and next thing you know,

he tells me how he wants to talk. I'm like, okay, let's talk. He found out that I had a guy that I was hanging out with when I was on my work trip. So his initial was like, Oh, so this is what we're doing. Like I'm over here with the kids and I'm trying to make things better. And I'm just like, we're the call is coming from the house. So anyway, I'm like, how does it feel? I'm like, leave me alone.

So anyway, it's he starts to get in his feelings and then he goes, you know what, why don't you ask him to give you the money? I was going to give you the money. God, that started the argument. And then from there, him saying other nasty shit. So that initial. I'll sadly whatever was and they just happened to be recording at this moment. Well, he has cameras in his house.

What are the coincidence that now he wants to fuck with me and provoke me while I'm at his house? Right. Right. in his house. What are the coincidence that now he wants to fuck with me and provoke me while I'm at his house, right? So he starts to, you know, say how he's not paying for it. And at that point, I'm not gonna lie, I was set off, because I'm carrying this expense that I did not inquire. Now, mind you, this was that was this year. That was in May, the first one where you this was that was this year that was in May the first one where the shit is going down that was in May right okay um I got fired from Love and Hip Hop because he started a fabricated nasty story and was gossiping to me about another cast member me and that cast member got into it, I said something that, you know, she went low, I went to hell.

And for that, I lost my job. So he is the reason, the biggest reason why I lost my job. But anyway, this is that year. This is this year. You're also carrying years of just hurt. Yeah, but my whole thing is, you know, I just lost my job. One of my main incomes. You owe me this money because you're the one that wanted to put them into this facility. Right. You literally are in your feelings every time I don't want to fuck on you. So you refuse to give me the money that you said you would pay for these kids. So now I'm taking on an expense that I did not originally, I wasn't prepared for. And I just lost my job because of you.

Now here I am at the house to pick up the kids. You get when I'm talking to someone or I was with someone the night before. Now you're saying you're not giving me the money you owe me. Right. I'm off. Yeah. I am ticked off. So I'm telling him, I'm like, explain to me what's going, like explain to me why you're

not going to give me this money. You're the reason why. So I want answers. He's Mr. Not Confrontation, Confrontation. He knew telling me that he wasn't going to give me that money was going to set me off. He knew that. And then for the him to ask me that money was going to set me off. He knew that. And then for the... And it did.

So what did he do? He was going to call the cops on me. So what you see there is me, first of all, I'm pissed off. You owe me that money. You owe me that money. It's like a couple, like a good 10 bands that you owe me. Okay? He still owes me that money to this day, but anyway,

and it's even more now because it's been that long. So you tell me you're gonna pay me this money. Mind you, this man has no problem buying himself jewelry. This man has no problem buying random women that he's sleeping with jewelry. He just bought Selena Powell jewelry. Did he? On his YouTube, I just saw, I mean,

I didn't watch the video because I wasn't giving him the views, but that's the title of his, she said, let me not, let me not touch you. No, I don't even care. I mean, at this point, I'm so used to it. Yeah. Like just a couple of months ago,

he gifted the Miami girl a necklace and I only seen that because that was viral. Right. You know what I'm saying? It's like, it's sick. It's like, so this particular video, like I said, he taunted me with this money, then says he's not going to pay for it. Then I'm asking him to explain to him, explain to me why he starts to, you know, call the cops.

I'm just over it, B. And yes, that was completely wrong of me. And I take accountability for that. And that's the first and only time that has ever happened in front of my kids, which is why my kids literally followed me out. Yeah. They're not scared of me. They've never seen me ever act like that in front of them ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever. It's never been that way. And how he's trying to make it seem like this have never, you can, my kids are proof that they have never been around that and then in any kind of way.

Right. You know, did I lose my shit? Absolutely, because enough is enough. You're literally, you're the reason why I lost my job. And here you are, owing me all this money for something you, you inquired about. And you, like this was your idea to put them into the school. You said you were gonna pay for it. And because I'm not fucking on you the way

and going about things the way you want it to be, now you don't wanna pay what you said you were going to pay for it. And because I'm not fucking on you the way and going about things the way you want it to be, now you don't want to pay what you said you were going to pay. Right. So it set me the fuck off. And then him having the nerve, now you want to call the cops on me? You want to call the cops on me? And I have a video where I'm filming him myself. So what you see there is I'm not trying to, I'm not putting my hands on,

I'm trying to get the phone from him so I could speak to the cops myself. Because at that point, enough is enough. Enough is enough. But you know what's so crazy and sick about it all is a week after that happened, guess who's calling me again, begging to be back with me

and once again sending me videos of him playing with himself, watching videos of us That he has How much he misses me and he so a week after that happened the sick bastard was back trying to get back with me What is it with him whacking off on videos?